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Joel could hear voices around him, could feel hands on him. He heard himself whining and begging, and tried his hardest to control his weak limbs to try and push himself away. Unless he'd passed out without realising and lost time, the Watchers had only just left, and he was expecting at least a few hours before they'd be back.
Joel's thoughts were scrambled, mainly consisting of instinctual self preservation that had quickly turned from fighting back to cowering and trying to shield himself from the Watchers. In reality, Joel knew that nothing he did could protect him, an arm covering his face, or curling into a ball would do nothing to prevent the Watchers' magic. They had quickly realised however that their magic caused Joel severe brain fog, rendering him incapable of answering their questions, so they had broken up the painful-purple-lightning-magic-thing with lashing out at him physically. Joel found himself constantly whispering under his breath, pleading even he was left alone in the white room. He was doing it now " I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I'm sorry, please. I don't know" . The voices in the room were strange, so un-Watcher like. There was no spooky echo behind their words, no animosity, no anger. The change scared Joel. He tried to curl up tighter, but cried out as the movement pulled at the bleeding gash in his side.
Someone pushed his shoulder back, and Joel panicked, thrashing under their tight grip. Then, there were more hands on him, holding him down, stopping him from moving. Joel was protesting, he was pleading, begging. His screams had turned into shameless whines as tears built up. Eventually, Joel tired and slowly felt the fight fade from him. Eventually, he slumped against the restraint, scrunching his face up, breathing quickening as he awaited the pain that was surely incoming.
All of a sudden, Joel could hear screaming, and it took him a second to realise that it wasn't his own. Before he could really process that realisation, Joel was letting out a scream of his own as his stomach twisted and his body moved, pressing on all of the points that hurt so very badly. The twisting stopped, and Joel felt hard floor against his back before he slowly slipped into unconsciousness.
~~~
When he woke up, the first thing Joel felt was warmth. He let himself relax into the warm, soft blankets around him, his muscles finally relaxing. It was a nice contrast to the cold, hard surfaces of the white room. That thought caused a sudden stab of panic. Joel pushed himself up, eyes flying open, wary at the change in his surroundings.
He did not see the same white walls that had surrounded him. Instead, he was in his bed, back in the overworld, in the room that he stayed in after the Life Games with the others before they dispersed back to home worlds. Joel whined, shuffling back and pushing himself against the headboard, ignoring the protest of his injuries. The physical pain he could handle, but he wasn't sure how long he'd last under whatever this psychological method the Watchers were trying.
"Woah, steady," a voice said to his left, "it's okay, Joel, you're safe, I've got you it's okay."
Arms wrapped around him, and despite being so sure that Etho was just a halluination, Joel couldn't help but lean into the hug, sobbing into the shoulder of fake-Etho.
"You aren't real," Joel stammered, "I don't know anything,"
Etho's breath hitched, and Joel felt his arms tighten around him, "I'm real, Joel," fake-Etho said, "You're not there anymore, you're with me."
The door opened before Joel could reply.
"He's awake?" That was Grian.
"Let me talk to him," Another voice he recognised, but couldn't quite place.
Etho started to pull away but Joel pulled him back. He was nervous, and for as long as this hallucination lasted, Joel wanted to make the most of the comfort fake-Etho provided.
Someone crouched down next to his bed, and Joel peered out from behind fake-Etho, who sat on the edge of the bed. In front of them was Xisuma, the Hermitcraft admin. Joel frowned. Why would the Watchers put Xisuma into whatever this was. Joel didn't really know X that well.
"I don't understand." Joel said timidly. X certainly looked real, Etho felt real. Joel shuffled back, away from both of them. He brought his knees up to his chest and tucked his head between them, then gripping at his hair with his hands, "Just, stop it, stop it, I don't know, I swear ".
A gentle hand reached over and pulled his wrist away from his hair. Joel tensed.
"We're real, Joel. The Watchers aren't here, they can't get in." Xisuma's voice was gentle, caring, and Joel risked another peek over at him.
A faint sniffle pulled his attention away from Xisuma. Joel looked over to see Grian stood anxiously in the doorway.
"Grian?" Joel asked. And suddenly it felt real. The Watchers hated any mention of Grian, the Watchers wouldn't put Grian in a hallucination. Joel felt himself relax with relief, the adrenaline of fear crashing, causing him to slump into Etho. Etho who he now knew was very much real.
"You got me out?" He asked timidly into Etho's shoulder.
"We got you out," Etho said, wrapping an arm back around Joel's shoulders.
Joel sobbed. The pains and aches across his body seemed to grow as he realised there was no threat.
"I'm so sorry Joel," Grian whispered.
Joel smiled weakly, "It's okay G," he said, until now he didn't really realise how little anger he had for Grian, "You were scared. I understand now,"
Grian sobbed again, lurching forward and surprisingly gently wrapping Joel into a hug, wrestling him from Etho's hold.
~~~
Xisuma left back to Hermitcraft after making sure Joel had all the potions he needed, and that there would be no reprocussions from spending so long in the Deep End, or from the Watchers treatment. Joel wanted to get up, feeling much better after Xisuma's fussing over him, healing the wounds he could, worrying over every little flinch or wince. Joel could see why X made such a good Admin, the way he cared so deeply about a player like Joel who he barely knew, made Joel think about how much he must care about the Hermits.
Etho and Scar did not want Joel to get up. Joel tried his hardest to not get frustrated at his friends walking on eggshells around him. He had looked in a mirror, Joel knew he looked rough, hell, he felt rough, but he couldn't stand staying cooped up in one room for much longer. He wanted to go outside, he wanted to lay in the grass and look at the clouds.
Suprisingly, it was Martyn who convinced Scar and Etho to let him. Any anger or resentment Joel had felt towards Martyn and Grian had quickly faded during his short stay with the Watchers. Joel couldn't imagine how much the both of them had suffered, being with the Watchers for years, no one to come to their rescue. It was no wonder they were so worried, so scared when they thought Joel was involved with their past abusers.
So, there he lay, smiling at the feeling of the sun on his skin. Martyn was lying to his left, Grian to his right, Scar and Etho nervously sat at either side, toying with the bags of potions and bandages that the insisted on bringing with them.
"Thanks for coming to get me," Joel said softly, "for going back there for me. I can imagine how hard that was,"
Martyn rolled over to face him, "I hate to ask so soon Joel, but, did they, like, do anything to you, like they did to me and Grian?"
Joel stiffened slightly, wincing as he pushed himself up so he was sitting, "They tried," he said, "but it didn't catch. They thought it would get around them not being able to See me, but it didn't work."
Joel felt Grian's relief next to him, "We'll try and protect you from them, Joel. Protect everyone."
Joel squeezed Grian's hand, then after a moment of silence, spoke "They still can't See me, they still don't know why, as far as I'm aware,"
"I can't Hear you either," Martyn said, "that's reassuring at least, they didn't change you at least,"
Joel hummed absent-mindedly, before something was plonked on his head. Reaching up, he left a flower crown sloppily made out of daises. Scar was grinning at him. Joel laughed in surprise, and for a moment everything felt normal again.