Chapter Text
The monthly meeting at Mr. Ping’s noodle shop was supposed to be calm.
Structured.
Predictable.
Shifu valued predictability.
The moment Crane paused mid-step at the entrance, Shifu knew predictability had left the building.
There was… tension in the air.
Customers were eating very carefully. Too carefully.
The kind of careful that suggested something horrifying was happening in their peripheral vision.
Mr. Ping waved cheerfully from behind the counter.
“Welcome, welcome! Your usual table!”
Shifu stepped inside.
And froze.
Tai Lung.
Lord Shen.
And—
Shifu blinked.
A miniature Kai.
All three were semi-transparent. Faintly glowing. Sitting at a table. Eating noodles.
The small Kai grunted as he dragged a noodle twice his height into his mouth.
Shifu’s eye twitched.
This was not acceptable.
“Ugh,” Tai Lung muttered, swirling noodles with spectral claws. “I still can’t believe this is the only way we can interact with the living.”
“Do you want another bowl?” Po asked brightly, holding one out.
Shen snatched it immediately. “Obviously.”
Shifu turned slowly toward Po.
“Po.”
“Yes, Shifu?”
“Why,” Shifu asked carefully, “are three deceased war criminals eating in your father’s establishment?”
Kai grunted and slapped both hands onto his oversized bowl.
“Got pestered,” he muttered.
Tai Lung sighed. “Couldn’t stop fighting.”
Shen flicked a noodle aside. “Paranoia.”
They sounded almost conversational.
Shifu felt something in his brain attempt to unravel.
Before he could respond, a familiar, serene voice drifted through the shop.
“Missed the taste of food.”
Oogway walked through the door as if this were perfectly ordinary.
Shifu closed his eyes briefly.
Of course.
The villains groaned in unison.
Oogway plucked food directly from Kai’s bowl.
“Thank you, Mr. Ping.”
“Anytime!” Mr. Ping beamed.
Shifu opened his eyes just in time to see Oogway casually pick up the tiny Kai and place him into his robe pocket.
As if he were a decorative turtle figurine.
“Oogway,” Shifu began, barely containing himself, “why—”
A shimmer of golden light interrupted him.
Po was now wearing glowing robes.
Glowing.
Robes.
Shifu stopped breathing.
“See you next year?” Po asked cheerfully, opening a swirling golden portal like he was moving a curtain aside.
Oogway nodded and stepped through.
Tai Lung and Shen exchanged resigned looks before following.
The portal closed.
Silence.
Crane cleared his throat. “Are these noodles poisoned?”
No one answered.
Shifu remained standing.
Mouth slightly open.
His student had just opened a portal.
In a noodle shop.
And left with three ghosts.
Po’s golden robe faded like mist.
“More dumplings?” Po asked a nearby customer.
Shifu sat down very slowly.
Nothing in his training had prepared him for this.