Chapter Text
Stan woke up and he wanted to go right back to sleep. His alarm clock beeped as it sat on his bedside table and he felt around for it from where he hid under his blanket. He found it after a few seconds of searching and threw it against his closest door. The beeping ceased.
The first thing he noticed after the morning fog in his brain settled was how heavy his body felt. His limbs were held down by some imaginary weight and stayed sunken into his mattress. His head felt cluttered but light at the same time. He didn’t see the point of getting up.
He knew he was expected to get out of bed though. He knew he had to. So after he spent fifteen minutes of his morning dreading the day that was to come, he rolled himself out of bed and got up, walking into his bathroom while yawning.
He turned on the light and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light. He stood in front of his mirror and looked at his reflection, frowning. He was slightly sweaty and smelled like a typical teenage boy. His t-shirt was plastered to his back and locks of his unkempt hair were pasted to his forehead. His skin looked greasy and waxen. His eyes were a dull blue and his lips were formed into a straight line that he could not change. He didn’t look happy nor healthy.
He didn’t have the energy to take a shower but he took one anyway because he thought it would be pretty gross if he didn’t and he didn’t want other people thinking he was gross. He didn’t have the energy to pick out anything nice to wear either so he just threw on a pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt, calling it a day. He then pulled on his hat and grabbed his book bag before leaving his cluttered and filthy bedroom.
All summer break, Stan hadn’t done anything but lay around in his room all day doing nothing while wearing sweatpants and t-shirts. He wanted to believe that actually getting up at a respectable time and cleaning himself up was a good thing, a sign of improvement. It didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment though.
Normal people probably wouldn’t think that what he did was such a big deal, something worth celebrating over. Normal people probably did that as a natural instinct. They probably didn’t get worn out from taking a shower and getting dressed. It was just expected of people to get up in the morning and get dressed before leaving the house for the day.
Stan hadn’t done that in three months. He wanted to believe that if he acted normally, like everything was okay, then it would be, but he just couldn’t persuade himself to think that way. Still, he had done the respectable thing to do and that was normal. Maybe if he still acted like everything was okay, then it would be, whether he thought it was or not.
He went downstairs into the kitchen where his mother and father were already at and sat down at the table. His mom shoved a plate of waffles down in front of him with a little too much force before walking away from him without so much as a good morning. She was dressed in a bathrobe with messy hair and sluggish eyes, a sign she had been fighting with his dad all night.
His dad was sitting at the opposite end of the table from him and was munching on a piece of bacon while reading the newspaper, ignoring his mother while she continued to complain.
His parents ignored him and he ignored them right back. He blocked out whatever his mom and dad were saying and the noise around him and looked down at his plate of waffles. His food was soaked in syrup and lathered in butter, looking soggy and mushy. He found them unappetizing and deemed them inedible. He found every plate of food placed in front of him unappetizing and inedible though. He felt like he hadn’t eaten a proper meal in a while.
“Stanley, eat your waffles.” His mom told him calmly before switching right back to snapping at his dad. “RANDY!”
Instead of eating, Stan took out his phone and opened up his messages, going to his group chat with Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. They had made plans to meet up at his house that morning so they could all ride to school together in his car. It was the only thing he was looking forward to that day, the only thing that made him feel an ounce of joy, seeing his friends again.
Over the summer, Kyle had gone to some camp for super smart kids. Seeing that he couldn’t go since he had lousy grades and Kyle couldn’t have his phone with him so for the past three months, they had been kept apart. Kenny had gone to stay in Denver for the summer to see his brother and sister and Cartman went to Florida with his mom for vacation so he couldn’t see them either.
Those were his only friends and he hadn’t been keen on making any new ones. That was why he spent his summer break all by himself, isolated in his room. It hadn’t been all bad but he had been yearning for the day when he would see all his friends again. That day had finally come.
He had two texts when he opened his group chat, one from Kenny and one from Cartman.
kenman: hey stanny!
i’m almost at your house are you ready yet?????
cartman: hey how come jewboy hasn’t answered yet?
He scrolled through his most recent messages and frowned, seeing that Kyle, in fact, had not responded to any of their texts asking him where he was. He knew that Kyle had his phone back, seeing that he had gone over next door to the Broflovski's in search of his best friend. When Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski opened the door, he asked them if Kyle was back from camp yet and they said yes. He then asked them if he was home and they said no, that he was with some of the friends he made from camp. He then asked them how long he had been back and they said a few days, maybe three or four. He then asked them if Kyle had his phone back and they said yes.
He didn’t know what to say after that. A weird feeling took over his chest and a thousand thoughts flooded his brain. If Kyle had been back for at least three days and had his phone back, then there shouldn’t have been any reason why he hadn’t responded to him by now. He had texted him both privately and in the group chat and he got nothing even though he should’ve gotten something. It was unlike his best friend to ignore a message unless he was angry but he hadn’t done anything to make Kyle angry so he should’ve been responding to him.
stanman: i’m ready now
and i don’t know here kyle is
He sighed and stood up from his chair. So much for breakfast. It wasn’t like he was in the mood for his disgusting waffles anyway but his parent’s bickering and Kyle ghosting him had ruined the idea of eating for him. He grabbed his bag off the floor and headed towards the front door, putting on his shoes and leaving without saying goodbye. His family would be fine without him.
He had assumed that going outside would be refreshing and would maybe wake him up some but it didn’t. He opened the door and was immediately hit with a strong gust of chilly wind mixed with droplets of rain. Goosebumps rose up on his arms and he looked around himself to find that he hadn’t dressed according to the weather at all.
His expression became even grimmer as he took in his surroundings. It was drizzling outside and the sky was covered in gray rain clouds. Precipitation covered the leaves on the trees, the windshields of cars, the grass on his lawn and the windows to his house. Cars drove past his street, splashing puddles of water onto the sidewalks. A thin fog loomed over the streets of his town. There was no trace of the sun anywhere.
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance before turning around and walking back into his house. He ran up the stairs and into his room, trying to find his jacket before Kenny and Cartman arrived at his house. He started to frantically search around his room for his coat, throwing a notebook over his head and shoving a pile of dirty clothes under his bed.
He had continued searching for another minute or two when he was interrupted by the sound of something hitting the outside of his house. He rolled his eyes, already knowing what it was and who was behind it and opened his window to find Kenny and Cartman standing on his lawn, unbothered by the rain.
“Stop throwing rocks at my window, fatass!” Stan yelled at Cartman, who had a pile of rocks in his hands.
“Then hurry up and get your ass down here!” Cartman yelled back at him.
He slammed his window shut and looked around his room, still in search of his jacket. He didn’t even remember letting his room get this messy. Yet his bed was unmade and he hadn’t made it in months. His floor was covered in so much stuff, he couldn’t even see his carpet. His closet was almost empty, seeing that he hadn’t done any laundry and hadn’t bothered in putting any of his clean clothes from June away. Pieces of crumpled up paper, comic books, his computer cords, his guitar, they were all scattered around his room in places they didn’t belong. No wonder he couldn’t find his stupid jacket.
After a few more seconds spent on thinking about where his jacket was, he decided to be done with the search and ran back downstairs. He would probably only spend about five minutes outside before he got to school so he figured that he could survive a little rain.
“Stanley, what was all that noise?” His mom questioned him as he ran past her in the living room.
“It was nothing.” Stan lied, stopping in his tracks. “Bye mom, love you.”
“Love you too, Stan.” His mother sighed. He could’ve sworn that she said something else, probably under her breath about how he was turning into his father but he was already out of the room before she finished.
He walked back outside in the cold and shut his door, shoving his hands in his pocket and heading towards his two friends who were standing by his car. Even though he was excited to see Kenny and Cartman, he still couldn’t smile. Kyle still wasn’t there and still hadn’t messaged him back and it just didn’t feel right. As he walked towards his car, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing.
“Stan!” Kenny exclaimed when he reached him. Kenny threw his arms around him, bringing him into a hug and resting his head on his chest. He was a little startled by the sudden touch but once he looked down to see Kenny’s dirty blonde hair and toothy grin, he hugged him back.
“I missed you.” Kenny told him when they parted. “Wow, did you get taller?”
“I don’t know, maybe.” Stan shrugged, looking over to the Broflovski’s house. Kyle was nowhere to be seen. “Have you guys heard from Kyle yet?”
“No.” Cartman and Kenny both said.
“He still hasn’t texted you back?” Kenny asked him.
“No.” Stan answered Kenny.
“Maybe he died?” Cartman said, apathetically,
“Maybe we should wait a few more minutes?” Stan suggested to his friends. “Maybe he’s just trying to make a good impression since it’s our first day back and is taking longer to get ready.
“Stan, I’m pretty sure Sheila would’ve kicked Kyle out of the house by now so he wouldn’t be late.” Kenny told him. “Face it bud, he’s not showing up.”
“What if he does show up and we aren’t there?” Stan asked the two boys. “Won’t that be like… crappy of us?”
“It’s crappy of Kyle to ignore us like this.” Kenny huffed.
“Dude, you know he’s not ignoring us on purpose.” Stan frowned.
“Oh, so he’s just ignoring us on accident?” Cartman rolled his eyes. “Who cares? You told us his mom said he made some new friends at his nerd camp. Maybe he drove to school with them?”
“Yeah.” Kenny agreed.
“Just let me go knock on his door.” Stan pleaded with his friends, who gave him unamused looks in response. “I’ll be really quick.”
“I don’t care what you do, he’s your boyfriend.” Cartman muttered. “Just unlock the car so I don’t get even wetter than I already am.”
“Okay.” Stan agreed, unlocking his car so Kenny and Cartman could get in.
“I call shotgun!” Cartman exclaimed, opening the passenger’s side door.
“Oh, no fair.” Kenny pouted as he started to walk over next door.
He walked up the Broflovski sidewalk leading up to their house and knocked on their door. Mrs. Broflovski opened the door with Ike standing by her side.
“Oh hello Stanley.” She greeted him with a smile. “Shouldn’t you be off to school right now?”
“Yeah, I’m leaving right now but I was wondering if Kyle was here?” Stan asked her. “I asked him if he wanted to ride with me a few days ago but he never responded to me.”
“Oh, Kyle’s already left for school.” Mrs. Broflovski informed him. “A few kids from camp picked him up.”
“Oh.” Stan said, his face falling.
“I’m sorry Stan, I know you’ve been asking about Kyle but I think he just really likes his new friends.” Mrs. Broflovski told him. “If it helps any, I’m sure you’ll see each other at school.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Stan nodded, feeling a knot build up in his throat. “Well I guess I should get going then. Thanks Mrs. Broflovski. Bye Ike.”
“Bye Stan.” Mrs. Broflovski waved to him before shutting the door. He sighed and turned around, walking back to his car.
“Well?” Kenny asked him as he sat down and started his car. “Is he coming?”
“No, he already left.” Stan told Kenny plainly. “His mom told me some kids from his camp got him.”
“Damn Stan, that sucks.” Cartman sighed. “I can’t imagine how I would feel if my boyfriend ignored me all summer.”
“Shut up Cartman.” Stan hissed at him, pulling out of his driveway and driving onto the road. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“I wonder who these camp kids are?” Kenny pondered. “I mean, why would Kyle want to hang out with them over us ? We’re like the coolest kids I know.”
“Much better than any kids that go to nerd camp.” Cartman added.
“It’s not a nerd camp.” Stan corrected Cartman. “It’s a camp for tech and space stuff.”
“Same thing.” Cartman shrugged.
“Look, Kyle isn’t ditching us for these new kids, alright?” Stan snapped at Cartman and Kenny.
“It seems like he is.” Kenny protested.
“But he’s not.” Stan continued. “So there’s nothing to talk about. When we get to school, we’ll meet up with Kyle and it’ll be like things never changed, okay?”
“Whatever floats your boat.” Kenny sighed, leaning back in his seat. “Can you turn on the radio?”
“Sure.” Stan clicked on his radio, letting Cartman turn on some pop station. He hated pop songs and found them insanely cheesy and shitty but it got Cartman and Kenny to shut up. They sang along with the songs that came on, off key and at the top of their lungs, and he blocked them out, just like he did with his parents.
Meanwhile, all he could think about was Kyle and these new friends of his. He wasn’t jealous. He knew that Kyle could have as many friends as he wanted to have and that he had to respect that. He knew that Kyle would always be his best friend and that he would always be Kyle’s best friend. They had been that way since they were three. Some things changed but that never would, they would always be best friends, no matter who these new friends of Kyle’s were.
He was hurt and confused though. If Kyle had his phone then why wasn’t he talking to him? If Kyle had been home for three or four days then why hadn’t he come to see him? This just wasn’t like Kyle. Was he mad at him? The last time they had seen each other, they had been on good terms, great terms even. Kyle even told him that he would text him as soon as he could. Kyle had a great memory so it wasn’t like he had forgotten about his promise. They hadn’t talked in three months so there wasn’t really anything he could’ve done to make Kyle angry at him.
He supposed there was no use pondering on it and making things a bigger deal then they probably were. If he believed that Kyle was allowed to have other friends, then he had to believe that it was okay that Kyle rode to school with his new friends and that that didn’t mean he was mad at him. He couldn’t just jump to outlandish conclusions just because Kyle didn’t text him back. He just needed to trust Kyle.
He pulled into the crowded parking lot of his school while Kenny and Cartman screamed the lyrics to some song by Britney Spears . Students hung out in large groups near cars and walked this way and that among the lot. The sound of cars honking and students chatting clashed together. Buses drove up in front of the school and then away in a yellow flash. This kind of chaoticness was the reason Stan had chosen to hole himself up in his room all summer. He had forgotten how much he hated people.
“Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus! ” Kenny and Cartman finished singing, bursting out into a fit of laughter as they got out of the car.
“We should totally go on The Voice .” Kenny laughed as they started walking towards the school.
“Remember when you and Stan were in that lame ass band with Butters and Jimmy?” Cartman asked Kenny.
“Oh yeah, Crimson Dawn.” Kenny reminisced about their old band. “What ever happened to that?”
“You don’t remember?” Stan asked Kenny, who shook his head. “China tried taking over all our songs so we broke up.”
“Man, that sucks.” Kenny sighed. “Butters would totally still be with me if we were in a band.”
“Or maybe you would’ve cheated on him with a groupie.” Cartman snickered.
“Maybe.” Kenny shrugged as they walked into their school and were immersed into the crowded hallways.
They made their way to their homeroom period, weaving through crowds of students, all trying to get to different places. He kept his eye out for a head of red fuzzy hair but never saw one. Mr. Garrison had been their teacher for the past eleven years and his high school classroom was located in the very back of the school. As they ventured further into the school, the crowds thinned out and dispersed which he found relieving.
They finally arrived at their classroom to find that they were one of the last groups to arrive. Most of the desks were already filled up and he scanned the room in search of Kyle. The desks in the classroom were arranged in pairs of four. There were six pairs of desks, three in the front of the room and three in the back.
Most of the kids in the classroom already had someone sitting next to them. Pip, Damien, Butters and Scott sat in the front row in the pair of desks to the left. In the middle of the front row sat Nichole, Heidi, Gregory and Christophe. To the right of the front row sat Bebe, Wendy, Red and Annie. In the back row to the left sat Timmy, Jimmy, Kevin and Bradley. In the middle of the back row sat Craig, Token, Clyde and… Kyle ?
He couldn’t believe his eyes. He felt like he had just been shot in the heart. His mouth went dry and all he could do was stare in shock as he watched his best friend sit and laugh with their sworn enemies. He didn’t mean to sound like a child when he referred to Craig’s gang as his enemies but it was just the truth. They had always hated each other, Kyle included. Yet here he was, he had ignored him all summer and then he finally saw him again and found him talking to Craig Tucker of all people. He couldn’t help but feel betrayed.
The last table, the table in the left corner of the back row, was empty except for one seat. There, Tweek sat alone hunched over a notebook, which was also pretty strange. Usually Tweek was attached to Craig’s hip, they were dating after all. Yet Kyle was in Tweek’s seat and Tweek was in Kyle’s. What the fuck had happened over the summer?
“Hmm, that makes sense.” Kenny hummed as they stood there, still staring at Kyle. Kyle hadn’t even acknowledged their presence, seeming to be in some deep conversation with Craig.
“What does?” Stan asked Kenny, not taking his eyes off of Kyle.
“That Craig and Token were the people Kyle ditched us for.” Kenny explained. “They’re both pretty smart so it makes sense that they went to nerd camp too.”
“But Token is a smartass and Craig is just an ass.” Cartman complained. “There’s nothing special about them.”
“Plus Kyle hates Craig and Token.” Stan reminded Kenny. “We all do.”
“Well apparently that’s not how it is anymore.” Kenny told him. “Come on, let’s go sit with Tweekers.”
Stan followed Kenny and Cartman to the back of the room and they occupied the empty seats. Cartman and Kenny sat down next to each other on the side of the table that faced the window so he sat on the opposite side next to Tweek. That way he had a good view of Kyle who was still talking to Craig and still hadn’t talked to him.
“Hey Tweekers.” Kenny greeted Tweek cheerfully. “How was your summer, dude?”
“It was fine.” Tweek told Kenny, looking up at them with an unreadable expression.
Tweek was odd. He didn’t mean it in a bad way. He liked Tweek but the fact remained that he was strange. He had messy hair that was too long and that he had dyed a bright blonde with a streak of blue when they first started high school. He was short and skinny, the smallest kid in their grade, even smaller than all the girls. He always wore pink eyeshadow and eyeliner and nude lipstick even though he was a boy.
He was very pretty for a boy, almost resembling a girl, even though he was abnormally skinny and his cheeks were sunken in and he had eyebags. Everyone thought he was pretty too, girls and boys alike, even though Tweek was gay.
He wore clothes that were too big for him, as if he hid himself in his oversized t-shirts and baggy sweatpants. He also always wore the same necklace. He wouldn’t have noticed it if it was just a minor accessory that made an appearance once in a while but Tweek wore it everyday. It was a golden chain with a pink crystal hooked on the chain at the bottom.
His left eye often twitched and his body often shook as if he were cold. He drank coffee like it was water. He fidgeted with his hands a lot. He rarely talked to anyone and when he did, it was only because he had to. He didn’t like anyone that went to their school. He usually opted to stick with his boyfriend. Before Craig, it had been his best friend Jason who he constantly hung around but Jason had passed away last year. It was why he found it strange that Tweek was sitting alone.
“Why aren’t you sitting with Craig?” Cartman questioned Tweek. “Did he do something to piss you off?”
“We- ngh -broke up.” Tweek twitched.
They broke up? That was shocking. All he could do was stare at Tweek with his jaw dropped, Kenny and Cartman doing the same. Tweek and Craig were the town’s golden couple. They were always with each other, they rarely ever fought, they were good for each other and everyone was obsessed with that. Plus, they were the town’s first gay couple which was a big deal in the beginning. The possibility of them breaking up had never crossed anyone’s mind ever.
“Excuse me?” Cartman asked Tweek, blinking.
“You did what?!” Kenny exclaimed, turning a few heads towards their direction.
“- ack -We broke up. Tweek repeated, frowning at them. “I thought you guys would’ve known by now. Everyone else- ngh -knows.”
“We were both out of town all summer.” Kenny told Tweek, referring to him and Cartman. “Did you know about this Stan?”
“No.” Stan shook his head. “Why’d you guys break up?”
“Just wasn’t happy.” Tweek muttered, turning his attention back to his notebook.
“Did you break up with him or did he break up with you?” Kenny asked Tweek.
“I broke up with him.” Tweek answered Kenny.
“Tweek, you are such an asshole.” Cartman rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you did that. After all I did for you two, you broke up with Craig. Seriously? Craig was your only chance at happiness you know. You think anyone else is going to want to date your twitchy ass? I don’t think so.”
“Now hold on a minute, who said this was Tweek’s fault?” Kenny held up his hands. “We all know Craig’s an asshole, we were just waiting for Tweek to realize it and he finally did. We should be happy for him.”
“But Cupid Me shot them both with his love-arrows .” Cartman complained, pouting. “He peed in their mouths. They were supposed to be together forever.”
“Who did w-what?” Tweek asked, jumping back in his seat a little.
“Ignore him.” Kenny smacked Cartman on his pudgy arm. “He forgot to didn’t take his meds today.”
“Fuck you Kinny .” Cartman snapped at Kenny.
“Well if you weren’t happy, then I’m glad you broke up with him.” Stan shrugged, attempting to assure Tweek and let him know he was on his side. Even though he had never really liked anyone in Craig’s gang, Tweek was an exception.
“So am I.” Kenny agreed, looking towards Cartman for his answer.
“Whatever.” Cartman huffed.
“This day just keeps getting more and more interesting, doesn’t it?” Kenny asked the table.
Stan couldn’t help but agree as he looked back up at Craig and Kyle. None of this felt right.