Chapter Text
Around February 2017, Burith received a phone call during the morning break. It was from a homeless shelter.
Just in case, when they settled, and despite having given their current number to Merlin, they went into every homeless shelter of the area, to say that they had a great uncle who may come there and if so to call them. They were also benevolent in one of them during some weekends.
The person on the other side of the phone asked them if they knew an old dude who called himself Merlin. Of course they knew him! They said that it was their great uncle, and declared they would come take him in the afternoon, after the end of their school day. They did.
They drove to the homeless centre in their grey BMW, while listening to a True Crime Podcast.
A girl named Shanon took Burith to an old homeless man, wearing a blue beanie, a blue jacket, a blue jeans and brown shoes. The last time thone had seen Merlin, he was an emo boy. But it was him. He looked like Emrys. He was sitting on a bench, soup in his hand, eyes looking into the void.
Burith crouched down in front of him. Thone had also changed since the last time they saw each other. First of all, thone hair was short (the lesbian fashion way). Then, thone was wearing black DrMarteens, the same thone bought in the 1970s, a dark green large bermuda, a green shirt, a brown leather jacket with Roxane’s triangle pin, a dozen of rings on a leather thread around thone’s neck, Jack’s watch on the left wrist, a silver wedding ring with an emerald and dagger earrings.
“Hey.” they say out loud, smiling.
‘Merry? Is that you?’ thone asked telepathically.
The old man looked up, and Burith faced his blue eyes. It was him. Despite not being Arthur, thone could have recognized those blue eyes anytime.
“Hey Miss-Tree.” then ‘Yes Berry, it’s me.’
“You’re right, I’m a mystery,” thone smiled. “Let’s get you out of here.”
‘What for?’
Burith was surprised, and a little bit nervous, and as everytime thone were, thone played with thone wedding ring. Merlin noticed thone movement but didn’t comment on it.
‘What do you mean?’ thone asked.
‘What would be the purpose of it, Berry? He’s gone! He won’t come back! If he was to get back, he’ll have come back by now! It’s been fifteen centuries Burith, fifteen!’
‘I know Merlin. I know. I was there. You’re not the only one who lost someone they loved. But I kept moving. I had to.’
Thone had stopped to played with thone ring. It seemed that they judged each other in silence. ‘Would you like to come over to my home? We could discuss more comfortably there.’ the druid.ess asked, wanting to go home after thone working day. ‘Okay,’ he finally sighed, before standing up. ‘It’ll be better than here I guess.’ He took his backpack. Burith Fridmann signed some papers and they were good to go.
The car trip home was silent. Burith didn’t even put music or their True Crime Podcast.
When they arrived at Kadabrook, Carlin was happy to see her parental figure back, but had no idea who Merlin was. She sniffed him and seemed to like him.
“Since when do you have a dog?” Merlin asked
“A few months now,” Burith replied, before adding: “I’m home!”
Nobody answered.
“Do you live with someone else?” Merlin asked, not wanting to ask too many personal questions.
“Only my dog. Her name is Carlin,” replied Burith, visibly wanting to change subject. “Do you want to eat or drink something? Or some sleep? You can go put your belongings into your room.”
“My room?”
“Yeah. You always had a room here. I thought you knew it.”
“I thought it was a guest room.”
“Well, I also have a guest room, but this one is your own.”
He seemed truly moved by the fact that Burith had a room for him. That meant that he had a place to stay, a home. Not only a storage place to stock his belongings and what belonged to Arthur so long ago, and an address in case he needed one, but a home.
He saw himself in the mirror next the stairs. He looked horrible. He looked like an old tired homeless man. That may be what he was. Except he had a home.
He went upstairs and saw that there was a wooden pancarte on each door. They were respectively reading “Burith’s room, please knock AND WAIT FOR AN ANSWER”, “Merlin’s room, land of magic, aka Albion”, “Eva’s room” and “Guest(s) room”. He wondered how Eva was going. He decided to go to sleep for some time, before having an open-heard discussion with Burith.
When he woke up, it was night outside. He went downstairs and found Burith sitting down on the sofa, in front of a chimney fire, working on their laptop. The High Priest.esss didn’t hear him come. He was used to not making any sound when he moved. “What are you doing?” he asked.
Burith didn’t jumped out of surprise, as if thone knew he was coming. Thone had probably felt his magic. Thone stopped what thone was doing, turn thone head towards him and answered: “I’m reading again my lessons for tomorrow.”
Thone closed thone laptop. “Have you rested well? Are you hungry?”
“Oh, yeah, a little bit. You’re still in school?”
Burith stood up, took their mug of tea and went into the kitchen while replying: “Yeah. Still the history teacher. Didn’t change since 2000, except I don’t teach the same things in the same place. Do you prefer pizza, salad or pumpkin soup for tonight?”
“The soup would be perfect.”
“Ok.”
Thone made him a bowl of soup that they put into the microwaves to warm it, too lazy to take out a pan, and not wanting to use magic. Merlin sat down at the kitchen table, while Burith stayed standing up near the microwaves.
“So? What are you becoming?” Burith asked to open a discussion.
“Those days? Nothing. I wander. You see how it often ends…” He sighed deeply. “To be honest, I’m beginning to think that the Goddess has forgotten us. It was said that Arthur will return in a time of great need. But what if he needs Albion to return? And what if I just told myself that because I missed him too much? To be honest, I’m not even sure he’ll come back one day… It’s been more than fifteen centuries now… Albion had been in a time of great need. England too. There were wars, a lot of them, pandemics, famines, suffering, Brexit, and he hadn’t come back… If all of that didn’t make him come back, what would? What if he’s gone forever, Burith?
Burith didn’t know what to answer to that. Thone drank a sip of thone tea, not mentioning that death was a thing that almost everybody had to come to terms with and maybe it was time to accept that Arthur will never come back and that he needed to turn the page and think of something else. It was a reality that Burith had come into terms with at the beginning of the 20th century, more or less consciously. But Burith knew that Merlin wasn’t ready either to hear or accept that that evening.
The microwaves bipped. Burith put out the warm bowl of soup, gave it to Merlin and sat in front of him.
“You don’t eat?” he asked.
“I’ve already eaten an hour ago,” thone explained. “But I can eat something if it’ll make you more comfortable.”
“Please.”
Burith stood up and took a piece of cheese in the fridge, cut themself a part, and then put the cheese back in the fridge, before coming sat down again in front of Merlin.
“To come back with your interrogation,” Burith finally said, “honestly, I don’t know what to answer you. I thought about it sometimes too. What if we’re here but it has no purpose? What if Arthur is dead for real, and that I had to accept that he’s gone forever, like everybody who has died, including my loved ones? What is my purpose here? Why am I still alive? Why am I not dead? How is my family doing? Why are most of them dead? Why am I not with them, six feet under ground? How come my strength not to fall apart, staying crying in my bed the whole day? I don’t know.”
Merlin was listening to thone while drink-eat-ing his soup.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Arthur was yours. He was your friend, your Prince, your King, and maybe more, but that’s none of my business until you decide it is. For me, he was just the Prince, and then the King. The only real reason I’m still around is because the Goddess wants it, as I’m the last High Priestess or whatever. To be honest, and even if I like the Goddess very much, sometimes, it feels too much to bear and sometimes, I just want it to end, you know? I’m too old for this. I don’t want to leave you behind. But I want it to come to an end, man. I’ve had enough. My children and partners are almost all dead now, and their families live on, without me. So, I agree with you. Fifteen centuries are enough.”
“Is Eva okay?! And have you tried to…” he didn’t finish his sentence.
“I suppose she is. I’ll call her tomorrow. Nowadays, she’s a flight attendant in Toronto, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.” Thone drank another sip of tea. “And tried to what, Merlin? I’ve had the time to try a lot of things in fifteen centuries. I don’t recommend all. For example, I don’t recommend the Titanic trip.”
“You were on the Titanic?” Merlin asked, terrified about the answered Burith could give him.
“No, but a former friend of mine was. Long story short, he didn’t make it to New York. His wife did, but she was no friend of mine anymore, due to some jewellery drama. Also, she threatened my daughter to not marry her son so meh. They got married anyway,” proudly stated Burith with a grin.
“Oh. Ok. And I was talking about the… Have you tried to… you know. Be gone? Leave for good? Try to rejoin the Goddess?”
“Oh that,” casually said Burith, drinking another sipof tea, as if they were talking about the weather. “Yeah. More than once. I suppose you did too.”
“... Yeah.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Not yet. You?”
“No, thanks!”
“We’re so fucked up…”
“Yeah, right?!”
A moment of silence.
“But seriously, how many children did you have? It’s not the first time I hear you refer to them, but you never really told me about them.”
“In total? Twenty-seven during the last fifteen centuries. Fifteen girls and twelve boys. Guinevere, Agnes, Isabella, Brigit, Caelia, Ann, Katherin, Emily, Elizabeth, Mary, Victoria, Amelia, Dorothy, Margaret and Eva, Arthur-Alexander, Leonard, John-Gavin (I had a hard time convincing his father for that one), Percieval, Lancelot, Charles, George, Richard, Robert, William, Harry, Henry, Neil and Louis. I loved them all with all my love. Eva is the only one who is still alive today. That’s why I don’t talk about them. It hurts too much.”
“My condolences.”
Merlin didn’t really care as much as he would have wanted too, as the only one he knew was Eva, but he felt like it was an appropriate thing to say. Burith knew he didn’t care that much but still was happy that he said that.
“Thanks. At least I have some pictures of them.” Burith sighed. It was thone only consolation. Pictures. It was the only thing left, with some of their belongings. Memories became blurry at some point. It was impossible to remember every second of fifteen centuries.
“Yeah, that’s cool. Would you show them to me later?”
“Merlin. Who do you think are the people in the pictures in the living room?”
“I don’t know. I never really looked at those pictures.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll show you them later, then.”
“Thanks. By the way, talking about your family, how’s your partner? Chaya if I remember well? I mean, it’s not my business, but I remember you were mad in love and… You said you live alone so…”
“Oh. Yeah, it’s her name.” Merlin could see in Burith’s eye thone heart slowly breaking. Had thone divorced? “Chaya died two years ago of breast cancer. She was perfect until her last breast. Her God bless her and may her memories be a blessing.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“What for? It wasn’t your fault.”
“Still. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Oh. Ok. Thanks.” Burith replied and drank their tea in silence, still wearing the ring their wonderful wife had offered them eleven years earlier, on that beautiful day of August 2005, in Canada.