Chapter Text
Kirk looked at himself in the mirror. He frowned at the dress suit. Today he was going to a fancy masquerade party that the ship morale comity had planned.
Sometimes Kirk got in moods were he didn’t want to wear dress suits. He wanted to wear more feminine clothing. Kirk had known for awhile that he didn’t identify completely as a male. He just hadn’t had the time to explore his gender. He knew most of the crew probably wouldn’t mind. They were in the mid 22nd century for crying out loud. Humans had come such a long way in the past century. Still… there were a few members of the crew that were both homophobic and transphobic. No matter what century they were in bigotry still existed.
Then there were other crew members who Kirk didn’t know how the felt about lgbtqia topics. Like Spock… Kirk had no idea how his first officer would react to finding out that Kirk wasn’t cis. Kirk wasn’t sure what his gender identity was but he knew he wasn’t cis.
Kirk sighed and walked over to his bed. He looked at the mask he had planned to wear. It was a simple black mask that would cover more than half of his face. People probably wouldn’t even be able to tell it was him.
“Wait…” he muttered out loud as he turned the mask over in his hands. Everybody would be wearing masks… it would be hard to tell who was who… Kirk broke out into a smile. This would be his chance to experiment with wearing feminine clothing. Kirk felt excitement for all of two seconds before he realized he had nothing feminine to wear. He didn’t even know how to put on makeup or paint his nails.. and what would he do about his hair.
Kirk sighed and tried to forget the idea as he put on his tie. This didn’t feel right. But who could he trust to tell his secret to? He brought a hand to his mouth and bit at his nails as he thought about who he could possibly go to.
Uhura? He had known her since the academy and she was never one to judge him unless he was being too cocky. Kirk thought about it for all of two seconds before he rushed over to the computer in his quarters.
“Computer find Lieutenant Uhura,” he said. “Lieutenant Uhura is currently in common room 132” the computer replied. “Page her to meeting room 275 Please,” Kirk said as he ripped his tie off and picked up his mask and ran out of the room.
*******
“Uno! Draw four!” Christine giggled as she laid her cards down. “Oh come on!” Uhura complained as she drew her cards. She looked at her watch. “It’s getting late. We’ll have to start getting ready for the masquerade party soon.” She said as she drew her cards. Christine nodded as she laid her last card down. Winning the game. “What are you going to wear?” She asked
Before Uhura is able to anwser the comm in the common room comes to life.
“Lieutenant Uhura the captain requests that you come to meeting room 275.” The robotic voice came.
“I wonder what he wants so late in the day?” She asked as she got to her feet. Christine began to gather up the cards. “I’m not sure, but do you want to meet in my cabin to get ready after you meet with him?” Christine asked. “Of course” She smiled before leaning down to kiss Christine on the lips.
Uhura made her way out of the room and to the meeting room.
When she enters she noticed how unsettled her captain looked. He shifted from one foot to another while fidgeting with his hands.
“Captain is everything alright?” she asked.
He looked at her “I uhm yes. I was wondering if you would be willing to help me get ready for the party. I’ve found that with this being a masquerade party… that I want to try wearing something that’s… a little less traditional for a man to wear..” He said suddenly not meeting her eyes.
Uhura’s eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to understand what the captain was asking her. She observed him carefully. His eyes were on the floor. His arms were folded and his hands holding onto his arms in a self soothing manner. If this was a prank he was certainly doing a great job of acting like it wasn’t. “Like you want to wear a dress?” she asked unsure of what the captain had asked for.
*****
“Like you want to wear a dress?” Uhura asked.
Kirk’s heart wretched at her tone. He suddenly felt too exposed. “You know. It’s not important! It was highly unprofessional of me to pull you-“
Uhura grabbed his face. “You don’t have to be ashamed Jim,” She said as she looked into his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you,” She said. Kirk let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. A mix of emotions filled him. Excitement for being able to finally explore this part of him. Shame because some small part of him said it was wrong. Objectively he knew it wasn’t. Everybody deserved to express themself. All of themself.
“C’mon. I’ll take you with me to get ready with Christine. I’m sure we can find you something.” She said as she took his hand and lead him to Christine’s cabin.