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Albedo was dying. Or rather, he was succumbing to a cruel imitation of death, devised by his own mother. It had not been meant for him, but he had become too confident. Too careless. He made a mistake, and now it would cost him everything.
He didn’t remember blacking out again, just that he had been working on an experiment in his lab. For days he’d been working tirelessly to undo the curse he’d inflicted upon himself, hoping to the stars and the seven that he could find some semblance of a cure for the corruption that now coursed through him. He hadn’t anticipated it to progress so quickly. Already he had experienced several blackouts of indeterminate length. With each one it seemed that he had moved further and further away from his camp, leading him to believe that their duration was increasing along with their frequency. He didn’t know what his body was doing during those times, only that the result was always destruction.
This time however… he had regained awareness to the sight of blood staining his hands and coat. He was still holding his sword, which dripped a trail of crimson behind him.
Archons, what have I done?
He had to go back, to see whose blood he had drawn, but he was afraid of what he might find. A pit formed in his stomach as he trudged back through the thick snow, following the path he had created. The more blood he found, the more his trepidation grew. The world around him was muffled by the pounding of his heart in his ears. Then he saw it, the object of his search. He almost sank to his knees with relief. A bloody mass of fur lay dead in the snow, its prominent tusks glimmering scarlet in the evening light. It was a boar he had killed, not a human being. Just a boar. Still, the sight of it was sickening. The animal had brutally mauled, well beyond what would have been necessary to kill it. What was more, judging by the footprints he saw, he hadn’t been hunting it. He had simply happened upon the creature and attacked it.
What if it had been a person?
Would he have killed them just as quickly? A churning feeling formed in his gut, knowing what the answer would be. If it had been Kaeya, or Klee coming up the mountain to visit him… no, he couldn’t bear the thought. He began to make his way back to his camp. He needed to find a cure. His arm burned from where it had touched the heart, the red veins of corruption pulsing as they crept further up. Already it had spread past his shoulder and into his neck. He searched for his mirror as soon as he had made it back, his heart skipping at what he saw. Had it really progressed so far in such a short amount of time? Any vestiges of hope he had harbored left his mind then. There would be no cure for this. It was too late now, and only one option remained in front of him. That was if he could even reach it without falling into another episode. Time was of the essence. He bore his warmest winter coat and a few other supplies, then headed back out into the cold. There was only one person that could help him now, not to undo what he had done to himself, but to prevent his mistake from harming those he cared about. Those who cared about him .
As he trudged through thick, untouched snow towards his destination, he could feel the heartbeat of the mountain. His heart’s own rhythm beat in tandem with it, drowning out even the howling of the winds, his mind becoming sicker with each thrum as the corruption spread further. He needed to hurry. His vision began to run red as his consciousness fought the invading presence. He was slipping again, the turmoil in his mind and body causing him to stumble. Half-stupefied as he was, he didn’t notice how close he was drifting towards the steep edge of the cliff he was traversing down. The next time his feet caught, he found the ground suddenly disappearing out from under him. He scrabbled desperately at the cliff’s edge in an attempt to pull himself up, but the snow was too loose, and he began to slide down the frost-crusted stone. A moment later he struck the small lake below, ice cracking beneath him. He gasped in shock as the frigid water instantly soaked through his clothes and bit into his skin, the motion sending the icy liquid down into his lungs. For a moment he tried to swim, but the notion soon abandoned him as the cold weighed him down. Perhaps this was for the best. He was going to die one way or another. Darkness encroached on him and he sank further into the icy abyss…
Suddenly he found himself at the shore, his stomach heaving as he exhaled water so cold it burned his throat and lungs. His whole body shaking violently, he kept coughing and coughing, water soon turning to reddish dripping substance. It was not blood…
…
The crackling of a fire reached his ears, and he found that the biting cold of the mountain was no longer sinking its teeth into his exposed skin. He felt hot. Much too hot. Opening his eyes slowly, he saw that he was laying down in a small cave, blankets draped over him and a wet rag placed on his forehead. There was a sharp aching in the back of his skull, different from that caused by the corruption. Had he hit it on something? He tried to sit up, only to find that he was bound and could not move.
“Oh, you’re awake now. I wasn’t sure if you would.”
The voice came from somewhere next to him, but he didn’t need to turn to know who it belonged to.
“Subject Two?” He winced as he heard his voice, rough and cracked.
The other made a disgruntled huff, walking into his view. His sibling was no longer disguised as himself, but rather was wearing clothes of similar colors to the land around them. Ice blues fading to inky black and dark navy greys. His collared shirt was of a deep scarlet however, as were the gems embedded in his clothes. A white and grey cape cascaded down his back and shoulders. His hair was let down as well, and his face had the looks of someone weighed down with the poor hand they were dealt in life. It surprised Albedo just how different of a person the other could look from himself. “It’s Dorian, actually. I prefer to not be addressed as if I were some lab rat or inanimate object.”
“I apologize.” Albedo said, “I didn’t know what else to call you. How did I get here? I had been trying to find you, but the last thing I remember was dragging myself out of the lake.”
Dorian frowned at him. “I found you… well, prowling I suppose would be the best description, but not in a normal way. It was like you were drugged and feral almost. Not to mention you were soaking wet. When I got closer to see what was going on, you attacked me. I ended up having to strike you over the head to knock you unconscious, and dragged you back here. You seem… very sick. What happened to you? And why would you be looking for me?”
Albedo used his legs to push himself into a sitting position against the side of the cave, puffing from the effort. He didn’t need a mirror to know that the corruption had spread even further. He could feel its synchronized thrumming with the mountain. It made his head swim. “I… I messed up, Dorian. I was running an experiment with Durin’s heart, but when I touched it, it…”
“It did that to you.” Dorian motioned with his head towards Albedo’s afflicted arm. “Tsk. You should have known better. If you think I have a way of fixing that, you are mistaken.”
“I know.” He answered weakly. “That’s not what I wanted from you. I came here… because I want you to kill me, and then replace me.”
His brother’s eyes widened briefly, then narrowed as his brow furrowed. “What?”
“You heard what I said. I know it’s too late for me, but the others don’t. They are completely unaware of this event, and I want it to stay that way. If they knew, they would not stop trying to find a cure, and I cannot bear to give them the burden of inevitable failure. Nor can I ask them to do what needs to be done. That would be too cruel. So I ask you again. Please kill me and take my place. It is what you wanted, is it not? Well I am giving it to you now.”
Dorian was silent, his eyes searching Albedo for something, then turned away to gaze toward the cave’s entrance. He stood, and for a moment Albedo thought he was going to leave. “I no longer desire to replace you. I abandoned that ambition long ago. You know that.”
“Dorian, please .” There was a pleading tone in his voice now. “I need-” His body suddenly convulsed, taking away his breath as he began to cough up more red bile. Concern blossomed on Dorian’s face. It was clear to the both of them that Albedo was running out of time…
…
..edo?
Al.. ..n ou.. …er me?
Al…do
Albedo?
He blinked, suddenly feeling bruised from the ropes binding him. There were more now, and Dorian was standing further away than he had been before, one hand outstretched. He had several deep gashes on it that dripped blood onto the stone floor.
“It happened again, didn’t it?”
Dorian nodded, a hint of fear in his eyes. “You broke free of the ropes. I had to press you against the wall until I could reweave them.”
Albedo breathed heavily, his head tilted back to rest against the wall as he closed his eyes. “I can’t let them see me like this Dorian. They can’t know. It would hurt them too much. Especially dear Klee. She won’t understand, Dorian. Please.”
Dorian sighed, his hand dropping to his side. “Very well.” He said, almost dejectedly. “Just… tell me what I need to know. Important life details.” He sat down cross-legged on the other side of the cave, pulling out a bandage to wrap his injured limb with. Albedo felt a small spark of relief, though along with it came the crushing realization that this was all he had left.
“I don’t know how much longer I can stay in control.” He rasped. “So I’ll keep to the most important things.” He tried to think back to the biggest moments of his life. “I suppose I’ll start with my time studying under our mother. We never stayed in one place for long. After Durin’s defeat and the conclusion of the Cataclysm, most of our time was spent in domains, scouring their depths for ancient knowledge and artifacts. Mother instructed me in the art of Khemia during that time. She was very strict with me, and often threatened to leave me should I fail in my assignments. Still, I loved- love her dearly, and I think she loved me too, in her own way.”
He noticed Dorian’s gaze fall, and faltered in his tale. Perhaps he could omit that part of his life, but no, it was important. “We traveled to every nation of Teyat, and even the ruins of Khaenri’ah. We were always careful to avoid busy cities and roads however. Every once in a while we would stay at small villages and settlements if the people were kind and willing to board us, but mostly we dwelled in the seclusion of the domains we explored. Sometimes we would go months without ever seeing the light of the day. Mother said that it reminded her of home, so to me, it was home too. You would never know how deep those endless tunnels go, but Mother knew how to find or unlock even the most hidden of corridors. We traveled through every kind of domain imaginable, and saw amazing things that seem to defy the very laws of Teyvat. Sometimes we would even brush the edge of the Abyss. I remember in one of them, there were these small bugs that glowed a bright yellow from their abdomens, much like the insects found in the Chasm. I later discovered they are called fireflies. For some reason these ones seemed to be attracted to us, Mother especially. At one point so many had landed on her that she nearly looked like Liyue during Lantern Rite. She was so cross with them that she had muttered about their audacity and complete lack of survival instincts for hours after that. Later on I tried to replicate them, but she greatly disapproved. In another domain, the corridors were like mines littered with precious stones, and in the center was a cavern resembling the inside of a colossal geode, the crystals of which produced strange reactions to elemental energy. We stayed there for a long time, experimenting on the crystal formations and learning what we could from them. It was such a beautiful place, much like Starglow Cavern.”
A flare of burning pain traveled up Albedo’s neck, causing him to grit his teeth with a hiss. He could feel that the corruption was eating away not only at his mind, but also his body. A steady decay that by all means should kill him, but wouldn’t. He would rot until little was left but bone, a terrifying facsimile of a living being suspended in a state between life and death. The pulse of the heartbeat thrummed louder in his ears, but thankfully he did not go under again. “We did this for several hundred years, though it has never seemed like that long. Somewhere during that time I found my love of art, sketching some of the places or things we saw in our travels. Mother did not approve of my hobby, and yet she did not stop me. I still have those drawings to this day, tucked safely away in my lab.”
He would never see those drawings again, he realized. He would not last long enough to make the trip back. Not as himself, anyway. “Then, one day, we discovered a strange artifact, almost resembling a chess piece, that Mother called ‘The Heart of Naberius’. The morning after, when I woke, she was gone. The only thing she had left behind was me, and a letter. ‘Albedo, go to Mondstadt. Find my old friend, Alice, and give her the recommendation letter. Then, complete your final assignment: show me the truth and the meaning of this world.’ That was the last time I have heard from her.”
His voice was laced with longing. It would seem that it truly would be the last time. There would be no more chances. "I hope this isn't just wishful thinking, but... when parents speak to their children about 'the meaning of this world'... surely they just mean the pursuit of a happy life?"
Dorian made a small scoff, his hands lightly gripping the fabric of his pants as he looked away. Albedo’s own gaze drifted downward. “I’m sorry. I suppose that is a cruel thing for me to say to you.”
The other huffed, his grip tightening, “It’s fine. She never saw me as a child of hers, so that wouldn’t apply to me anyways. Just- continue.”
Albedo genuinely felt sorry for Dorian. He wished that he could give his brother the same experiences that he’d had the pleasure of living. “Meeting Alice for the first time was… a new experience to say the least. Mother had spoken of her before, but it could never have prepared me for the eccentricities of that woman in person. I will admit that I was afraid of her at first, but she held no such reservations towards me. In fact she very proudly proclaimed that she considered me to be one of her own children, and how happy she was that Mother had entrusted me to her. Klee was arguably even more ecstatic to meet me. She fondly titled me as ‘big brother Albedo’, and ran to hug my leg. It was the first time I’d ever been embraced like that. And her smile… I’d never seen such a wide and innocent grin. I tried to explain to her that there was no blood-relation between us, therefore I could not be her ‘brother’, but she would not hear of it. From that moment on, I would be her big brother whether I wanted to or not. Perhaps I was unsure of it at first, but I soon grew fond of the title and what it meant.” He smiled fondly at the memory of that day. “She was such a mischievous little thing, which I was quick to discover. She proudly introduced me to Dodoco, and offered me some of her toys. It was only later that I learned the hard way of their explosive nature. Even by the first day of knowing the two of them, she and Alice treated me as if I’d been a part of their family forever.
It wasn’t long after that Alice ushered me through Mondsstadt city, all the way to the Favonius Headquarters and into the Headmaster’s office. This was before Varka had left with the cavalry. He was also an eccentric man, and seemed to get along quite well with Alice. Perhaps that is why he allowed me to so easily join the Knights without question, and why Klee was allowed to remain there as a Knight herself. I was given access to the extensive alchemical apparatus at the Knight’s disposal, and was assigned the position of Chief Alchemist. Later I would also become Captain of The Investigation Team. For a short while I lived solely in the city, but I found it difficult to become used to the presence of so many people, so I often wandered outside. It was during one such excursion that I discovered Durin’s remains. They fascinated me, a remnant of one of my Mother’s greatest creations. Much of my time was soon spent on the mountain after that, both because it served as an escape from the constant presence of others, and it felt like a means of remaining connected to Mother, if even just in a small way. Eventually I set up a camp here in which to spend the majority of my time, as you know.”
An image of a grinning, one-eyed face came to mind then. “It was several weeks into my time as a knight that I met Captain Kaeya, the Knights’ new Cavalry Captain. We got along terribly at first, would you believe? His over-confident swagger and constant jibes irritated me immensely. I tried to evade him as best I could, but somehow he always managed to find me. He called me a cloistered know-it-all and said I needed to get out of my head more. He often addressed me with nicknames such as ‘dollface’ and ‘shortcake’. It was immature behavior not befitting a Captain of the Knights, and I had no qualms in expressing my opinion of him. That only seemed to encourage him however. At the time I found it incredibly aggrivating, but thinking back on it, I can’t help but smile.”
He sucked in a breath as the corruption seemed to attack his lungs and heart, the veins of it webbing across his face. He couldn’t see them without his mirror, but he could feel them there. He could see the red beginning to stain his vision. “It wasn’t until Jean took the role of Acting Grandmaster that we finally began to overcome our differences. She, quite intentionally I believe, assigned us both to look after Klee. It forced us to work together in a way we hadn’t before, and though we continued to treat each other in our usual ways, somehow it was different. As time went on his teasing became something more of endearment, and I found myself spending more time with him than was necessary for my duties. We began to go out of our ways to see each other outside of caring for Klee, and eventually it turned into something new. Something… much sweeter. I have so many precious moments with them. Once when he was trapped in my camp by a sudden blizzard, he taught me how to cook ‘real food’, after I tried to feed him nutrient-cakes. And there were many times I scolded him for letting Klee go fish-blasting, yet he would just bat his eyelashes at me and try to smooth-talk his way out of it. Sometimes, if I was in a particularly good mood, it would work. There was one occasion that he convinced to try some of his wine at his apartment. Evidently I became incredibly drunk and spouted nonsense for hours before passing out. I slept for nearly a day and a half afterwards, which I blame on my slow metabolism. He wouldn’t let me live it down for months, and I had to threaten him with slipping a potion of indeterminate effect into his tea just to keep him from spreading word of the incident to the Knights. The first time we went on a real date, he showed up at my door just before midnight with a bouquet of cecelias and calla lilies. I’d never seen him look so sheepish as when he handed them to me. He asked me to follow him, though he wouldn’t tell where, or why. He took me all the way to Starsnatch cliff, where the beginnings of an annual meteor shower could be seen. We laid with our backs to the grass and watched the sky for hours. It was a warm night, and there were fireflies all over. It was the first time he’d removed his eyepatch in front of me, and I remember how the light of the glowing incects would catch his mismatched eyes and make them sparkle like stars. I wished I could stare into them forever. A year later, on the same night, he did the same as before. But this time, when we reached the top of the cliff, he…”
Albedo’s throat caught, and he closed his eyes. His fondest memory now evoking immense grief. “He told me… that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and asked me if I wanted to do the same.”
Albedo looked down at the ornate band of starsilver that adorned his ring finger, and tears began to run down his face. So he could cry after all, it would seem. "I know it's unreasonable to ask you to love Kaeya the way I do, but please, let him down easy. He's already lost so much. It's not not fair for his heart to be broken yet again."
Another wave of pain spread through him and his mind fought to stay in control just a little while longer, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it up. “I think-” His words were cut off as his body spasmed, leaving him gasping for air. “I think my time is up now. It will fully suppress my mind soon. You need to kill me before then. I want to die as myself. Not… this .”
Dorian’s face was empty as he stood, a long dagger appearing in his hand before he knelt down next to Albedo. Albedo closed his eyes, picturing his loved ones in his mind’s eye. Klee, Kaeya, Alice, his Mother, the Knights. He wished more than anything that he could see them one last time. That he could embrace them, and tell them he was so very, very sorry. To tell them goodbye. But no, he couldn’t do that, no matter how much his corrupted heart ached for it. If he was lucky, they would never even know that he was gone at all. Only Dorian would know of where his folly had led him. He readied himself to feel the other’s blade slide between his ribs and snuff out his light. He waited, but it never came.
“I can’t.”
He opened his eyes to see the knife at Dorian’s side, and fear coiled inside him. “Please, Dorian, you have to. If you won’t do it for me, do it for them. I need you to take care of them for me. Please. ”
The other looked at his hands, removing his gloves, and shook his head. There was a strange expression on his face. “No. I'll never be able to truly replace you in life. I see that now. But I can take your place in death, so I guess that'll have to do.”
“What-” He was cut off as Dorian suddenly grasped his afflicted arm with both hands, which glowed gold as the other summoned the power of Khemia. Albedo gasped as he suddenly felt the overbearing presence of the corruption being drawn out of him. As he watched, the angry red veins slowly retreated, and at first he thought that Dorian was destroying it. But then he saw as the corrupted snaked its way up Dorian’s own arms, disappearing beneath his clothes before spreading up past his neck and face, coalescing around the star on his neck. When Albedo felt the last of the foul influence leave him, Dorian’s eyes snapped open, and he staggered backwards, colliding roughly with the other side of the cave with a pained cry. He was half bent over, his hands raised to his face and fingers locked in gnarled positions as his body convulsed. Albedo saw that his eyes had become a motley of vibrant teal and sickly crimson. They darted wildly back and forth, like those of a rabid wolf, and there was an intense wanting in them. Was this what he had looked like moments ago? Then they came back into focus as Dorian seemed to overcome the initial attack, gasping desperately for air as he leaned back fully against the stone.
“Dorian, why… why would you do that?” Albedo strained against the ropes binding, a glowing line running down the middle as he called upon Khemia to sever them.
The other gave a weak chuckle, quickly followed by a grimace as the red cracks spread further across his face, like porcelain breaking apart. “I wasn’t sure… that would actually work.” He panted. “I guess… I’m not such a disappointment… after all.”
“I- I don’t understand.” Albedo’s voice wavered, unsure of what to feel in that moment. “You could have had everything you wanted. You’ll die now. Why would you choose that?”
Dorian looked at him with eyes that were almost fully red now. He was shaking, but somehow he managed to smile at Albedo. It was one of resignation. “All those memories. Those little moments you had. They aren’t mine to take, no matter how much I want them to be. You have everything, while I’ve not been given much in this life, or the last. But I guess that just means I have less to lose.”
His eyes seemed to glaze over again as he coughed up that same red bile that had filled Albedo’s insides only moments before. He was worried the other might attack, but Dorian blinked several times, shaking his head. A Khaenria’ahn curse flew from his tongue.
“This stuff- sure works fast, doesn’t it? Maybe Master would be proud of me now. Better for me to die, than her favorite, right?” He shuddered, and cracks spread further. “Just… don’t forget about me this time, okay?”
Before Albedo could stop him, Dorian picked up his blade and thrust it into his own chest. A strangled gasp escaped him as he fell to his knees, and Albedo rushed to catch him, holding him close. Dorian pressed his head into the crook of Albedo's neck, and he could feel the other shaking as he pulled out the knife.
“This… this is nice.” He said weakly, his words muffled slightly by Albedo’s shirt. “I’ve never… had a hug… before. It’s warm. Please… don’t let go.”
“I won’t.” Albedo promised. “I won’t.”
A light cold light suddenly and briefly appeared near where Dorian was clutching at his heart, but the source of it was obscured from Albedo’s view. He could hear the other say, almost inaudibly, “Heh. Would you look at that?”
Then Dorian slumped against him, his shaking growing weaker, until eventually he stilled. “Dorian?” His brother did not answer, nor did he breathe. Albedo continued to hold him as real cracks formed along his pale skin, and he began to crumble away, back into the chalk from which they were made. Albedo watched as the last of his brother slipped through his fingers, tears falling down his face. This was his fault. Dorian had every right to let him die, but he didn’t. He had sacrificed himself instead.
“I’m sorry.” He said, though he knew the other couldn’t hear him. It was as he stood that he caught something shiny glittering in the firelight, peering out from the chalk. A fleck of gold amidst grey. He picked it up, and saw that it was a vision, its gem grey and lifeless. He pressed it to his chest, before clipping it to his belt to keep with him. He swore a silent oath that day that he would find a way to bring his brother back. He would be careful this time, having learned from his mistake.
“I won’t forget this, Dorian. Or you. You have my word."