Chapter Text
„And that is precisely why I can’t stand being around you. You just have to be so goddamn insufferable.”
„Oh as if you’re any better! Always thinking about yourself and nothing else! Well, I have news for you- you’re not the center of the world!”
„Just when exactly did you start to be so intolerable? So obnoxious that I don’t even want to see you when I come to my house.”
Fine, Kaveh decided. „You won’t have to see me in your house again, bitch.” He exclaimed angrily, walking towards the tavern he was supposed to meet with Cyno and Tighnari.
Well, he didn’t exactly have a plan on how to make this work, but he couldn’t step down. He had to show Alhaitham that he could go on without him, just as well as the other claimed to go on. Kaveh might be an inconvenience sometimes, sure, but the rest of the time he was actually helpful! He scoffed at this thought- Alhaitham never noticed what he did right, only did he notice when he did something wrong. Truly a selfish asshole.
He kicked a rock that lain on his way. „You’re going to be begging for me to come back.” He said under his breath, still going over and over through his argument with Alhaitham in his mind. He felt the anger swirl inside him, and he thought about times when they still were able to talk to each other normally, have casual conversations about everything, and about nothing at all. It was so long since then, so long since they took a left, and yet they never made it right.
He sighed.
It’s been so long since he fell for the other, and not even all those arguments could change the way he felt.
It honestly amazed him how strong his feelings were, even though he knew damn well the other did not feel the same. Well, it seemed his heart didn’t care apparently, because it’s been a while and the way it longed for Alhaitham only grew stronger. Ironic.
„Fuck it, fuck me, and fuck Alhaitham.” He whispered and shook his head. He was only getting irritated when he thought about this topic, when he thought about Alhaitham. His mind was still a little foggy from anger, but he was slowly calming down. He didn’t want to meet with his friends while feeling like this, so he decided to take a deep breath and an additional lap around the area.
„You’re late again.” Was the first thing Kaveh heard when he walked into the tavern. He rolled his eyes and sat beside Cyno who was the one to say it. Tighnari jabbed him with his elbow, and he pretended it hurt a lot more than it did, earning a chuckle from the other.
„Thanks, nice to see you too.” He said while getting comfortable on his seat and looking for a waiter. „I got into an argument with Alhaitham.” He added after ordering some coffee and getting a disapproving look from Tighnari which he chose to ignore as he knew what the other had to say about his daily caffeine intake.
„Again?” Cyno asked, earning a look from Kaveh and Tighnari. He jokingly put up his arms as if he was surrendering. Kaveh laughed at that and shook his head.
„You’ve heard it enough times, haven’t you?” He asked, his smile turning sad for a split moment, but for long enough for his friends to notice.
„We don’t mind.” Tighnari said quickly, not wanting Cyno’s careless words to hurt the blond. He didn’t like seeing his friends sad, but lately Kaveh seemed to shine a bit less brightly, his smile faltered more and more often. It was honestly making him feel so powerless as he could never get a reason of this out of the other.
He tried not to jump to conclusions, he really did, but Alhaitham seemed to match the picture too perfectly, and it made his heart fill with anger. He didn’t feel like that often, but when he saw injustice he just couldn’t help it, and Kaveh didn’t deserve to be treated badly. Especially not by the one he loved.
„Thanks.” He answered bitterly, trying to get rid of his sudden sadness. He was not going to let Alhaitham ruin his mood, not today. He was here to catch up with his friends, not to cry. At least not this time. „You know, I’ve decided I’m going to get a break from him this time. I don’t know where I will go, but I am not coming back to his house this time. I want to show him I can be good without him too.” He added after that and if he didn’t say the exact truth it was for his own sake.
„Finally.” Said Cyno and Tighnari shushed him quickly. Kaveh just laughed at this interaction and at his friend’s bluntness, not paying much thought to it. The two of them could be so cute, seriously.
How he wished he could have that.
„You’re going to Gandharva Ville for some construction monitoring for a few weeks, isn’t that right?” Tignari’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he had to take a while to understand what the other said.
That was true, he had some work coming his way, and it would be in that area, a great deal that he struck with one of his clients. It would take some time, and he had accommodation counted into the expenses they agreed it would take. It will truly be a good change of environment.
„Yeah, but that’s a week from now. I have to figure something out until then, because hell no, I am not going to let him do this to me every single fucking time with no consequences.” He answered after thinking for a second. He wasn’t going to lie, he felt like a true badass with his new little plan, and he hoped it would work just as he wanted it to.
He smiled as it honestly made him feel rebellious, some change to his life wouldn’t be that bad. He lived with Alhaitham for so long now, and he only had a break from the other when he had work, which he wouldn’t call a break exactly, even if he loved it. He didn’t have time for himself when he had ongoing constructions to do, but he always made sure to have time to write to the other. He just needed to make sure Alhaitham was okay and that he took care of himself, even when the letters rarely got a valid response. Somehow they could argue even without seeing each other- maybe because of Haitham’s passive-aggressive way of talking, maybe because he was easily annoyed, ‘sensitive’ as the other always called it. Or maybe because they just didn’t know how to talk normally anymore.
„That’s self-care. You’re finally thinking about yourself, Kaveh, I’m really glad.” Tighnari replied with a smile.
„Oh? Yeah, really seems like it…” Kaveh answered in thought. If it was self-care then it would mean that all those arguments had a bad toll on him, but did they really? It wasn’t that bad, maybe he was really just too sensitive, but if he couldn’t take the insults then he could walk away any second, so did it really count? Was he walking away now?
He was just so fixated on Alhaitham that he couldn’t not think about the other. Maybe it was because of his feelings towards him, or maybe it was because they used to be friends- he cared about him.
Maybe more than he cared about himself.
„I’m just so pissed that he always treats me like shit even though we are- uh, were friends. He treats strangers better than that! And he never apologises, always acts like nothing happened, like he did nothing wrong. He never acknowledges the things I do for him even when I go really out of my way just to do something nice, and he never does anything like that for me. He either treats me like I don’t exist or like I am a piece of trash, nothing in between!” Kaveh added after a second, getting all worked up again. He felt the frustration returning, and he hated that it was happening while he was supposed to have fun here.
Alhaitham was truly the center of his attention, and he started to realize just how toxic it was for him, how his mind was flooded with thoughts of the other a bit too often.
Hell, when was the last time he had a day without thinking about the other? He felt overwhelmed, he felt so suffocated suddenly, and it was clear as day that whatever was going on was not good for him. It was starting to feel more like an obsession than anything else.
He needed a break, not to show Alhaitham something, but to heal his mind. It would be good for him to not see the other for a while.
„There, there.” Tighnari patted him on the back in a comforting manner, not wanting to say too much as he saw Kaveh was still thinking about something, but he was honestly so happy the other started to see things as they were. Alhaitham was not a bad person, but he could be a dick towards the blond sometimes. Well, most of the time, and he didn’t like that, because Kaveh never seemed to see it.
„You finally let that out. Started to think you would never.” Cyno answered and after Tighanari whispered something to him, he muttered a quick „Sorry.”, but Kaveh didn’t really seem to pay attention to the exchange. He instead took a deep breath and shook his head to try and ground himself.
„I didn’t realize how much real anger I held back.” The blond admitted honestly. He often got angry at Alhaitham for various reasons, but it was never really serious- annoyance would be a better word to describe it. Now though, he felt mad, and it was not just some empty talking- he was fuming. Alhaitham did him so wrong so many times, it was outrageous.
He wanted to laugh at how he only realized that now.
„I need some time for myself, I think things have gone too far.” He said quietly, resting his head on the table. He was so done thinking for the day, he was tired and wanted to go to sleep. It was the first day in some time that he didn’t have a lot of work to do on, he could finally have a nice and full night of sleep.
„What about staying at our place until the construction begins?” Tighnari proposed after sharing a look with Cyno. „It’s not like we’re there most of the time, and we have a room to spare.” He added quite proud of the idea.
„I couldn’t possibly. I don’t want to trouble you.” Kaveh shook his head. He didn’t want to be a burden for his friends, not like he apparently was for Alhaitham.
„I have an idea then.” Tighnari answered, earning two curious glares. „How about you take care of Collei while you stay and help her study? We unfortunately can’t always do it, especially now that we have more work than ever with clearing the withering. Collei on the other hand has more energy now that her Eleazar is cured, she wants to learn more about everything she possibly can.” He explained, to which Cyno laughed happily. It was true, Collei was always curious of the world, but now it was finally possible for her to study like any other child. She was so happy, and they couldn’t help but feel proud of her.
„She’s going to be like you, Tighnari.” Cyno said to his boyfriend, and they started to talk about something quietly, letting Kaveh think about this idea for a second.
And he was honestly surprised about how much he liked this proposition. He used to visit them often, so he was on good terms with Collei, but he hasn’t seen her in a while due to the amount of work he had, so it would be nice to see her again. It would be nice to help her and help his friends, so they wouldn’t have to worry about her that much. And on top of that, he would have a place to go and something to occupy himself with to stop thinking about Alhaitham.
„I’d love that.” He answered with a smile. He was honestly so lucky to have friends like that, they were always there for him, and it made him happy that he could be of help to them too.
„Well then, come whenever you’re ready, but first go get some sleep.” Tighnari said happily, looking between Kaveh and his unfinished coffee. He was glad the other agreed, he would also have a chance to look at how much caffeine he consumes, and maybe something would finally get to him.
„Getting rid of me, huh?” Kaveh laughed, feeling the happiness radiating from his friend. He knew he made a good choice, and he knew he was not going to regret it. It will surely be challenging for him not to write all the letters he usually did to Alhaitham, but he knew it was for the better. It was going to be a fun time anyway, he was certain of that.
„Yes, now go before you fall asleep on the table.” Cyno answered jokingly, waving him off.
He got up and after sharing goodbyes with his friends, he headed towards the exit. He could feel how sore his body was from overworking himself, so he decided to call it a night.
„We did it.” Was the last thing he heard his friends say to each other before he left the tavern.