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Turns out that dealing with a kid was a lot harder than he expected.
Like really, he thought that the kid would just need the basics. Food, water, sleep and some toys to waste their attention, for example.
Oh boy, how wrong he was. To be fair, it was kinda obvious that taking care of a child wasn't that easy, there was a reason that daycared existed and a reason they were so popular, so it was just a dumb assumption.
But an End hybrid child? Turns out it is way too much harder. For starters, getting information about specific special care the kid needed was already hard, even if it turned out to be cheaper than he expected. He had to call Scott Smajor, aka Chromia, an old friend who was very involved in the black market, with the intention of cashing some favors in exchange for some information about shulker hybrids, which of course Smajor would suspect something was going on because he knew that he didn't had any interest on ancient history, Which weren't necessary to cash since apparently a friend was very interested in seeing the kid, he made sure Joel didn't think it was in a creepy way, his friend was a archeologist that was really into End related history. So, of course that seeing a newborn shulker hybrid would be enough to have him happy for the rest of his life. Joel accepted, of course, he wouldn't waste the opportunity of getting something for free, not from Smajor, besides he would be with his child the whole time so it was completely safe. He even managed to get another favor since Smajor thought this was good for him.
Two days later a cardboard box full of old End related books appeared at his doorstep and he blessed again Smajor's ability to get information quickly.
"Contrary to popular belief, End hybrids also need lava. It has been discovered that The End had kingdoms, one for each one of their species, that requiere lava to certain levels. They used to trade buckets of lava for buckets of End pond water since this water had special properties that let it resist to nether heat, making it a precious resource for nether hybrids that didn't develop fire resistance.
The lava was used mostly for health and sanitary issues, but their uses depended on the kingdom. The Enderman kingdom used it as a replacement for water, since their skin was extremely hydrophobic, even the ponds of The End burned them. So they secluded themselves in dry areas far from any water body.
The most peculiar case was the Shulker kingdom, one of the only species of The End with no hydrophobic skin, was the major buyer of lava. It was cherished and important in their cultures as the water. They would take lava baths on special dates such as birthdays and weddings. The "love" for the lava was one of the only things that Shulker hybrids evolved with, since they need to submerged the Shulker shells from their bodies in lava for a couple minutes before peeling them off. For a while there were some theories about this need. One of the most popular theories revolved around the idea that their Shulker gene had such a strong connection with lava that it evolved to show it. Later, this theory was proved wrong by the End scientist Gabriel F. Shadoune. Who studied the historical use of lava at the Shulker kingdom and experimented in one hundred Shulker hybrids with ages between eighteen years old to fifty-five years old, with the consent of the subjects, the effects on their skin and the differences with water. The subjects came from different dimensions, mostly from the Overworld and Nether. He discovered that their bodies reacted the same way with lava as human bodies react to water, wrinkling the skin from their fingertips, for example. As we know humans, and most hybrid species react this since the outermost layer of the skin swells when it absorbs water. It is tightly attached to the skin underneath, so it compensates for the increased area by wrinkling. He theorized that this was caused by the extended time that the shulkers were exposed to lava, causing their bodies to adapt to the lava instead of water."
He needed lava.
A lot of lava. Non-Overworld hybrids needed lava for various reasons.
Apparently he needed lava to help the Shulker shells from his knees to fall. They didn't fall on his own, in fact if the shulkers shells weren't removed from his knees he could suffer from minor pain to loss of his ability to walk and chronic pain during the period of time his knees still had Shulker shells. It was dangerous and he couldn't understand how the shulker hybrids dealt with that. The Shulker shells business seemed logical now, if they had to take the Shulker shells out of their knees why wouldn't they make money from that. He was lucky that Grian offered some help with getting lava because honestly, he didn't know anyone that could have helped him. He didn't know anyone from the nether.
So after buying a blackstone tub, the most expensive thing that he ever bought by the way, he learned how to remove shulker shells. It was a slow process, letting the legs of the boy submerged on the lava for a few minutes and then taking a fireproof wash cloth, thanks Jimmy's "friend" for that, and ripping it from the knee like a bandaid. That didn't hurt apparently, since Hermes was still giggling happily and babbling at Joel's dumb faces. It was fine, he just needed to learn. This would become part of his routine after all.
It became a tedious task, to be fair it was already tedious just not that constant. And, sometimes by accident, he would pull a Shulker shell before it was ready to come out so he would have a crying and uneasy baby forced to stay still and probably terrified, which honestly hurt him more that he was willing to admit, to deal with.
Grian somedays would just pop unannounced at his house just to see if he hadn't killed the baby and he would take it as a moment of break while Grian played with Hermes. This time didn't seem different, at least until Grian talked.
"Oh Joel, you remember the guy I told that could help?" He said as he plucked a feather from his wing and handed it to the kid.
"Yeah, Pearl's friend right?" He answered.
"Yeah him. Pearl finally talked to him, he said he could come tomorrow if you like"
Tomorrow? Damn it was faster than he expected.
"Yeah sure, does he know the whole story or?"
Grian shook his head.
"Pearl tried to keep it as vague as possible. She just enough to not worry him" That was too vague even for him.
"And that means" He gestured with his hands.
Grian sighed.
"He knows you found him on a cardboard box, he knows that Hermes is a Shulker hybrid and that's it"
"Okay, that works for me"
The guy wasn't what he expected. A tall brunette guy with a smile on his face.
"Hello my name is Sausage! Pearl told me you needed help with a kid!"
Oh yeah, too much energy. It was too early in the morning for that. Like sure, it was like eleven o'clock but he was too tired to deal with such energy.
Does he really need that much the help?
Yes, he needed it. The crying in the background reminded him.
"Oh! That's the little boy I was called to help with! Can I come in?"
"Sure"
"Oh sweet little boy! You are too cute to be true! Mi niño hermoso, cosa preciosa, bebé bonito! What's his name?" The guy, Sausage, was already playing with Hermes blondle hair stroking it softly as the kid was babbling happily.
"Hermes" he responded.
"Oh Greek mythology, I like it!" He turned to see Hermes. "Hola Hermes! Nice to meet you sweet boy"
The boy just tilded his head seeming not understanding anything.
"So, Pearl said you needed help with this sweet boy"
"Oh yeah, basically I don't know how to take care of a kid"
"So why did you adopt him?" He looked kinda confused maybe?
"He was just a tiny baby at a dark alleway, like sure I could drop him at the police station and pray that he ended in the foster system, but that place is also hell" he said as childhood memories haunted him "it was safer to have him with me, then when I go to child services they will be more into the idea of me adopting him"
"So you just want general help with taking care of him?" Sausage asked.
"Yeah" he admitted "that's basically it, I don't know how to take care of a kid and I'm afraid I would hurt him more that I'm helping him. I just want to give him a good life, but it's hard"
"Yeah I totally get it. Taking care of kids for a few hours it's exhausting I don't imagine doing it all day long" Sausage clapped his hands snd standed up "welp, I accept."
Joel looked at him dumbfounded.
"What?" He answered.
"I will help you! Hermes seems like a good child and you need help so I'm offering help, no strings attached"
"That doesn't sound real" Joel responded.
"I know, but he's a Shulker hybrid, which it's really unusual by the way" he clarified "you will need more help protecting him from the world"
He seemed to reconsider his words for a second
"Don't get me wrong! I think you're a wonderful father for all the sacrifice you are willing to make for him, but I suppose you already know I'm a hero"
Well shit, he didn't know. Ironic right?
"That means that, if you let me have custody I could add him to the protected people I want to have secure with help of the hero academy and associates"
"That would be great. He could have a normal childhood with that" he admitted.
"Yeah! He totally could, that's why I'm helping. All I see here is an admirable parent taking care of his child with everything he has. But that's not enough, and I'm a hero so it's my job to help"
He sounded like a cliche hero.
He definitely sounded like that, but he knows he is safe.
He knows Hermed could be safe.