Chapter Text
gods, today has been a fucking awful day.
everything has been going wrong for nico. they barely managed to get any sleep last night – and although that’s typical, it was even less than usual and was littered with nightmares and hallucinations. his stomach’s been unable to keep anything down, so he’s barely had anything to eat. he’s overly exhausted, and everything is too loud and too colorful. there’s a headache forming, and nico feels like they could just explode.
and right now, in the infirmary, this might be the final straw.
nico scowls as he watches a camper – whatever the fuck his name was, nico only knows that he’s a child of hecate – gets patched up by will after a rather difficult sword-fighting training session. will’s humming to himself as he wraps up the camper’s arm, and nico can’t even find it in themselves to enjoy the sound of it.
the issue? the camper.
this asshole is practically making heart eyes at will, and nico wouldn’t be surprised if the camper was planning to try and hit will with a love spell sometime in the future. because that’s just their luck, will and nico’s, huh? someone would undoubtedly want to rip them apart.
nico watches in annoyance as the camper winces dramatically, rolling his shoulder and giving will a big pout as he says that his shoulder feels rather sore.
nico rolls their eyes.
what a pathetic excuse to just get will to rub his shoulder.
will frowns, tilting his head as a soft glow appears around him as he checks for any other injuries. “it’s probably just sore due to overusing your muscles. it’ll pass soon, take some nectar or ambrosia if it persists after a couple hours.”
“oh, but i think that it could be something more,” the camper simpers, and nico just feels rage boiling within them as the camper places his hand on an oblivious will’s arm. “couldn’t you check or – or even give it a quick rub?”
“my powers are never wrong, though,” will says with a confused frown. “you can get one of your siblings to help you out with that, i’ve got to check on other patients, too.”
“but–”
“he said,” nico growls suddenly, making both the camper and will jump in surprise, “that his powers aren’t wrong and what to do if it persists. he’s too busy to give you a little shoulder massage. leave .”
the camper scrambles up, bowing his head and stuttering out a small thanks to will before hurrying out of the infirmary. nico huffs quietly to themself, moving to put away some of the supplies.
“what was that?” will asks in concern, crossing his arms. “why’d you kick him out like that?”
“you’re busy and have other patients. you said it yourself.”
“yes, but he still was–”
“a stupid shoulder massage isn’t going to automatically heal his sore shoulder,” nico bites out with a scowl. “you know he was bullshitting. you felt it yourself.”
will sighs, running his hand through his hair. “yes, i did, but i still don’t get–”
“he just wanted you to touch him,” nico grumbles, angrily tossing a cloth into the hamper. “he had this stupid lovey dovey gaze pointed towards you. only i can do that.”
“oh, neeks,” will sighs fondly, going up to nico and brushing a strand of hair behind their ear. “were you just jealous?”
jealous? no. nico doesn’t necessarily get jealous . he just hates whenever another person was clearly trying to get with their boyfriend.
… okay. maybe he does get jealous.
but this is different . nico doesn’t know what it is, but there’s a burning rage within him at the sight of someone trying to get with will. but at the same time, they feel this strange feeling harbored towards will for having not kicked out the camper earlier.
“it’s nothing,” nico huffs, letting will press a gentle kiss against his temple. “go check on the other patients, they’re more important.”
will frowns a bit in concern, worry etched all across his face. he opens his mouth to say something, but then kayla pops her head around the corner, calling out, “hey, will, i need you to come check out something here real quick.”
“we’re talking about this later,” will says, giving nico another kiss before following kayla.
nico sighs, flexing their fingers as they try to calm down.
he doesn’t know what brought up all of these overwhelming feelings within him. all they know that it’s been too much to deal with and they really don’t want to deal with it any longer.
for some reason, the most that nico can describe is that he just feels disgusting . he feels gross, disgustingly angry and upset over the littlest thing, grossly being selfish, and it sucks. they want to just rip his hair out at this point, or just bang their head against the wall to get his thoughts to just finally shut up .
he sighs, rolling his shoulders before heading out to check on will, to see if he needs anything. they had hoped that today would be a rather chill day at the infirmary, but evidently, it seems like that isn’t the case.
nico turns the corner, ready to ask will if he needs anything, before he pauses.
there, in front of them, is will and kayla tending to two campers. will’s tending to one of the newer campers that had arrived earlier in the week – a daughter of aphrodite.
now, that’s not the issue at hand. nico doesn’t give a fuck who will treats.
the issue is that she’s fawning all over him, and she keeps trying to get her hands on will’s arms, or even his chest.
will pays no mind, subconsciously pushing her hands off to continue patching her up properly, but she keeps putting them back, giving him a wide, doe-eyed look.
and nico sees red .
nico marches over as will tries to reassure the daughter of aphrodite that she’s all set, saying, “i promise that all your injuries are done and accounted for–”
“hey, nico, what are you–”
nico ignores kayla, tugging up the aphrodite kid and ignoring her yelp of surprise as well. he glares at her, noting that she’s definitely older than them, and growls out, “he said that you’re all good.”
“i don’t see why you have any extra say,” she sneers, looking down her nose at him. “you’re not even an apollo kid.”
“i’m not,” nico agrees, but before she could say anything else, he continues, “but i can tell that there’s nothing grave, and that there are no threatening injuries left on you. if you so wish, however, i can take a peek into your future and tell you a certain date. doubt me still?”
“whatever,” she scoffs, tugging her arm out of his grip before marching out of the infirmary.
kayla stares at nico quietly in concern, and will takes a step towards them, saying, “nico–?”
“i’ll be at the training grounds,” nico says, pushing his way out of the infirmary suddenly.
nico storms over to the training grounds, practically thrumming with barely concealed anger and frustration. in the back of their mind, he rationally knows that none of this is will’s fault, and there’s no reason for nico to get so ridiculously and overly jealous.
but that rational part isn’t at the front of nico’s mind – instead, it’s the irrationality and paranoia.
paranoia that will has been, for some time, trying to find a way to break it to nico that he didn’t want to be with them anymore.
paranoia that certain campers were out there, trying to rip them apart, to wreck nico and will’s relationship to get with will.
irrationality fuels his brain with worries that someone is secretly trying to sneak will something – a spell, a potion, anything – to make him fall for them instead and leave nico.
he can’t lose will. he can’t . he’s lost so much already.
nico enters the training grounds, relieved that there’s nobody inside for once. he twists their ring, feeling their sword materialize in his hand before he begins to slash and swing and hack at all of the training dummies all around him.
nico hates this feeling that’s bubbling within him. they feel as though they could lash out on anyone if they pushed the wrong button, and it’s currently very easy to push that button. it might as well already be pushed.
in nico’s head, there’s multiple streams of thoughts swimming around, all jumbling up with one another and making his head hurt. they’re all screaming, wailing, shouting, sobbing – so, so many worst-case scenarios filling their mind and fueling his doubts.
“nico?”
nico turns wildly, pointing his sword out to the person behind him. will holds up his hands, saying, “whoa, hon’, you’re okay, it’s just me.”
nico opts to stab their sword into the ground, staring blankly ahead of them as he tries to calm the racing thoughts in his head.
“what’s goin’ on, darlin’?” will asks softly, tilting his head. “somethin’s clearly been botherin’ ya all day. i’m worried for you.”
“it’s nothing,” nico says flatly, cracking his neck to appease the discomfort settling into it. “nothing’s wrong.”
“somethin’s clearly wrong,” will insists. “you never storm out of the infirmary like that. you never shove out patients before – you usually just glare ‘em down. what’s up?”
“i said it’s nothing ,” nico growls out, feeling an irrational spark of annoyance burst in their chest. “i don’t need you worrying about me.”
“hon’, i am your friend and your boyfriend,” will says gently. “if anything, i always worry ‘cause i want you to be okay. add being the camp healer on top of that–”
“i’m not some thing that needs to be fixed,” nico spits, glaring at will. the back of their mind is screaming at nico to take a step back and evaluate what he’s going to say before he goes too far, but the irrationality and anger and paranoia has suddenly consumed the front of his mind. he feels like his skin’s practically vibrating with the overwhelming emotions thrumming through him.
“i never said that,” will immediately says, furrowing his brow. “are you sure you’re fine? you’re not usually this snappy unless somethin’s up.”
“ gods , will, i said it’s nothing–”
“nico, you know that i can tell you’re lying–”
“why the fuck does it matter?!” nico shouts out suddenly, not noticing how will flinches back slightly in surprise. “it doesn’t – it’s doesn’t fuckin’ matter!”
“what in the world are you talking about?” will gapes. “of course it matters – if something’s wrong, of course it’ll matter, i care for you.”
“not what it seemed like in the infirmary.”
shit, shit, shit .
will’s face falls in his confusion, and nico feels awful that they caused that expression to appear on will’s face. but the words are out now, and he can’t stop them from spilling out more–
“what – what are you on about?”
“in the infirmary,” nico bites, a sneer subconsciously appearing on his face. “didn’t seem to care when you had all those campers fawning over you, pretending to be even more wounded just so you can have their hands on them.”
“excuse me?”
“and who the fuck knows if they were planning on doing anything else?!” nico says, voice growing in volume. “hecate kids know a shit ton of spells. he could’ve hit you with a love spell.”
“there’s no way that–”
“and that aphrodite girl?” nico scoffs. “ please , she looked ready to eradicate me just for interrupting her and seeing through her.”
“darlin’, i really didn’t even notice any of this,” will says in bewilderment, shaking his head. “my mind was focused on making sure they’re healed and getting them out as soon as possible.”
nico knows this. he does. but here’s the thing – that’s part of their rational thinking. and guess what’s not at the front of his mind?
his rationality.
nico laughs bitterly, roughly running his hand through his curls. “yeah, and it doesn’t take an aphrodite kid to see right through them. i’m a hades kid, for styx’s sake.”
“you seriously can’t be blaming me for something i didn’t notice!” will argues, furrowing his brow. “where is this even coming from?”
“i’m not blaming you ,” nico groans, grabbing a fistful of their hair. “everyone is so clearly out to tear us apart, and you don’t even notice it!”
“no one’s out to get us, nico!” will exclaims. “darlin’, if you need, we can continue this conversation later, and you can talk to mr. d about this–”
ah. and the button has been pushed.
in the back of nico’s mind, he mourns the fact that it was will that pushed the button. they’re scrambling to stop himself from saying something harsh, something that he’ll regret, but–
“oh, so you think i’m fuckin’ crazy right now?”
there it is.
will’s expression falls in distress, eyes wide at nico’s accusation. “what – no, i don’t –”
“oh, but clearly something about it was there, ‘cause you told me to go to mr. d!” nico spits out, clenching his fists.
“because you literally talk to him about everything if it’s something you don’t know how to talk to any of us about!” will shoots back, clenching his jaw. “that’s got nothin’ to do with callin’ you crazy!”
“oh, yes, ‘cause telling me to go to the shrink of the camp is not calling me crazy,” nico says sarcastically. “of course! that makes perfect fucking sense.”
“if you’d just listen to me for one moment, you wouldn’t be thinkin’ all that!” will exclaims in exasperation, throwing his arms up. “i don’t get what you want from me, and you’re not communicating that!”
“i don’t want to communicate right now,” nico growls. “i don’t want to fuckin’ do anything . you’re already so clearly pushing me away, why couldn’t you have done this sooner?”
“done what sooner?”
gods, nico, keep it in, don’t say it–
“try and fuckin’ break up with me ‘cause i’m not enough for you! ‘cause i’m too much of a fuckin’ hassle!”
fuck .
as soon as nico says it, he regrets it immediately. but they’re on a roll, and the regret’s being overwhelmed by nico’s still-present anger and paranoia.
will looks hurt at the accusation, and he whispers, “did you – do you really think that i’m tryin’ to break up with you, hon’?”
“clearly you seemed it,” nico scoffs, his resolve slowly crumbling bit by bit. “you’re not even denying it.”
“of course i’m not trying to break up with you,” will says, voice breaking slightly. “why would i even do that? i never said i thought you were too much, or that you’re a hassle, or anything like that.”
nico huffs, crossing their arms and looking away pointedly. they hear will sigh, and they glance back to see will tiredly running his hand through his hair, saying softly, “i think we need a break.”
nico’s entire world tips over.
nico gapes at will in shock – didn’t will just try to reassure him that he wasn’t breaking up with nico? and now he’s turning around and saying they need a break, to break up? “so you were gonna break up with me!”
“what?” will says, shaking his head in confusion. “no, that’s not–”
“you just said–”
“a break as in time apart–”
“a break up!”
“time apart to cool off and
think
,” will snaps, before taking a deep breath to calm himself. “it wasn’t a break up, there was no hidden intention of that. i just want us to talk again when we’re cooled off.”
“whatever,” nico scoffs, picking up his sword and placing it back in its sheath. “a break it is, then. i’ll come back later.”
“where are you going?” will says softly. “can you at least give me that?”
“... the underworld,” nico says, stepping back towards a shadow.
“i love you,” will whispers as nico steps into the shadows.
nico opens his mouth to respond, but the shadows reel him in, taking him away.
and nico stands alone in their room in the underworld, staring blankly ahead of them as exhaustion suddenly takes over.
realization of everything he’s said settles onto him.
and nico falls to his knees. and he weeps.