Archive of Our Own

Hugo had a concussion. 

Or he was in a coma. One of those horrifically bad comas people fell into that they never came out of. 

Or he was just dreaming. That was also a reasonable conclusion. 

The point? He was not awake. He was experiencing some kind of bizarre, beautiful reality that his brain had cooked up just for him, and honestly, whether he was concussed, in a coma, or just asleep, he really didn’t want to wake up.

Every once in a while, he’d have to smack his arm against a tree. Or splash water on his face, or just pinch himself to prove that nope, this was as real as real got. 

Varian, it seemed, felt the same way. There was rarely a moment the two of them were separated, and those moments didn’t last long.

(He was still adjusting to being able to say that name. So much had happened in the last 3 weeks and it felt like his brain was miles behind his body.) 

The first few days had been a whirlwind of explanations, Varian, catching up, Varian, introductions, Varian, (he might be a little bit obsessed. Sue him.) 

Nuru, being Nuru, took her chance to make fun of Hugo in stride. She still had a sketch tucked away in her backpack of Hugo looking like, in her words, not his: “a lovesick puppy.” She was the worst kind of person.

Unfortunately, with highs, there always have to be lows. He’d spent so long floating, it was only a matter of time before he came crashing down.

Hugo and Varian had a lot in common. The good and the bad. They were both brilliant alchemists, they were both introverts by nature, and they were fantastic at hiding pain. 

Varian couldn’t lie. Not verbally. He was hilariously bad. Jokes, white lies, hell even lies he didn’t know were lies, didn’t matter what type of lie it was, he couldn’t get 3 words into it before he was dry heaving. 

He’d found a loophole- and he’d gotten scary good at exploiting it. Varian was a master of lying by omission. The first day they’d been reunited Hugo was too giddy to notice how on edge Varian had been, but he was starting to see the slight twitches of his fingers and the tense smile he’d wear that the year had been just as hard on him as it had been on Hugo. 

That’s where this nightmare of a conversation started. They were resting on the grass, under the midday Coronan sun. Varian was stretched out with his head in Hugo’s lap. Hugo was brushing his hand through the frizzy black strands, leaning back on his other hand. 

Nuru sat across from them, sketchbook set in her lap. She wore a wide, almost mischievous smile. Hugo dreaded looking at what she was drawing in there. 

Hugo traced the sides of Varian’s face with his fingertips. This close, the bags that lined his eyes were more pronounced, creating a staggering contrast with the bright tanned skin they blended into. Hugo frowned. 

“How are you doing?” he asked quietly. 

“Hm?” Varian looked up with closed eyes. Hugo couldn’t help the dopey smile that was worming its way across his face.

“How are you doing?” he repeated. 

“Better,” Varian replied with a dumb smile of his own.

“Yeah?” 

Varian nodded silently. Hugo chewed his bottom lip. 

“D’ya want to talk about it?” 

Varian opened his eyes and squinted against the bright light.

“Talk about what?” 

“Whatever’s bugging you.” 

Varian’s face fell. He opened his mouth to come up with a reply before he closed it with a loud click. He let out a small whine as he turned his head, smooshing his cheek into Hugo’s thigh. Hugo snickered. Busted. 

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he muttered. “But I’m not stupid, V.” 

“You’re not?”  

Hugo glowered at him. Varian giggled innocently. His laughter died down into a soft sigh. He pursed his lips. 

“I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop,” 

Hugo’s heart stopped before it stuttered back to life.

“Yeah, I think I get that,” Hugo said softly.

“I feel like if I look away for too long everyone will disappear again and I- I can’t- I barely-” Varian cut himself off, squeezing his eyes shut as his breath hitched. 

“Hey,” Hugo said, curling over him to press a kiss into the top of his head. “I’m here. Rapunzel’s here. Everyone’s here . I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me.”

Varian’s eyes softened. He tilted his head up, slotting their lips together for just one second. Hugo felt sparks shoot out from his lips into his chest. He smiled as his face began to burn.

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

“Sap.”

Hugo snorted. “That’s the last time I say something nice.”

“Hm, no it’s not,” Varian laughed.

“No? Why’s that?”

“Because you’re a sap.”

Hugo rolled his eyes. He looked up at Nuru with pleading eyes. 

“I don’t know what you’re looking at me for,” she said, not looking up from her sketchbook. “He’s right. You’re a total sucker.”

Hugo scoffed. “Thanks, Nuru. I can always count on you.”

“You’re welcome!” she beamed. 

“You know I could always send you back over the bridge,” he glared. 

“No you couldn’t,” she shrugged. “Plus you wouldn’t.”

“Would too.”  

“Would not.”  

“You wouldn’t,” Varian piped in.

Hugo glared at him.

“I like him,” Nuru smirked.

“You’re both bullying me. You’re bullies. I hate you both.”

Varian raised an eyebrow. “Hm, that’s why you came all this way. Because you hate me.”

“Yep,” Hugo said, leaning forward. Varian smirked before he lifted his head, pressing their lips together again. 

They separated and Varian nuzzled his head back into Hugo’s lap. His breath felt warm against his leg. He traced circles into the top of Varian’s head, breathing in the warm, fresh air.

Bliss. 

“Hugo?” Varian mumbled

“Hm?” Hugo replied, already half asleep.

“Can I ask you something random?”

“Shoot.” 

“How did you fix the bridge?”

Hugo was suddenly very awake. He snapped his head up to meet Nuru’s very wide eyes. Uh. 

“Uh,” Hugo said dumbly. “It’s kind of a long story.”

Nuru shook her head in disbelief. You didn’t tell him?!

Hugo shrugged at her sharply. How the fuck was I meant to tell him?

Nuru blinked before she shrugged. Varian seemed to sense the tension that had settled over them. He looked up at Hugo with furrowed brows.

“We have time,” he said quietly. Hugo tensed. Varian was burning holes into the back of his skull. His tone was innocently curious, but he could sense the challenge. Varian was closing in for the kill, and Hugo hadn’t prepared at all.  

It shouldn’t be a complicated question, but it was. 

Son of a bitch he should have prepared for this. Varian was curious by nature- there was no way he wasn’t going to ask what the four of them had done to bring back a bridge he was convinced would never be able to be fixed. 

But answering that question came with implications. It came with context that made Hugo’s blood run cold. The idea that he’d died. That he could have died again. The feeling of every atom in his body being ripped apart as his body struggled to withstand magic that Varian had spent years failing to control- 

Hugo didn’t answer. He didn’t move. His mouth was dry. He couldn’t trust his voice to behave- he could feel a lump settle at the bottom of his throat. He swallowed, trying to force it down as he sucked in air through his nose.

He jumped as he felt a hand lightly touch his cheek. He looked down with a frown as Varian stroked a thumb across it. Varian’s hand shifted down, cupping Hugo’s face properly. He closed his eyes and welcomed the distraction.

As he leaned forward to press their lips together again, he couldn’t help but feel something in the air shift. Varian’s entire body almost seemed to vibrate with unspoken curiosity. He had a target, and Hugo knew he was going to break down eventually. 

Sun help him.  

Problem 1: Varian doesn’t know how they fixed the bridge.

Problem 2: Hugo could not tell Varian. He could not tell him. He couldn’t do it. 

Problem 3: Out of the four people who knew the truth, one of them couldn’t lie. 

Sure, Rapunzel could lie technically. She had a leg up on Varian considering she could force the words out, but she couldn’t hide the tremors. 

Varian knew something was up, and he was circling her like a shark. 

“Well, what do you want from me?” Rapunzel asked.

“You can’t tell him,” Hugo insisted. “You- you can’t-”

“Hugo,” Rapunzel said quietly. “He’s going to find out eventually.”

“Eventually. Not now,” Hugo snarked. Rapunzel raised an eyebrow. Hugo sighed.

“You can’t look me in the eye and tell me he seems OK, Goldilocks?” 

“Well-” 

“He’s freaked already. He’s- he’s got enough on his plate between his dad and the bridge. This is another layer I don’t want to dump on him. Not if I don't have to.” 

Rapunzel frowned, leaning toward him to place a hand on his shoulder. “Hugo. Your motivations are noble, but this is going to tear you apart. This is going to tear me apart. I can’t lie to him. Even if I could. I don’t want to.” 

Hugo pursed his lips. “Rapunzel-” 

“Hugo.” 

Hugo seemed to know when he was beaten. He clicked his jaw shut and looked away. 

There was an easy solution: Avoid Varian. (And an easier one. Talk to him. Ha. Fuck that.) Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to work. He’d tried it for a night, but the anxiety that twisted his stomach into knots was going to drive him insane.

(If he snuck into Varian’s room in the middle of the night and slid into Varian’s bed, who was going to say anything? He definitely didn’t notice the way Varian silently wrapped a hand around his waist and pulled him into his chest with enough force to squeeze the air out of his lungs.) 

Hugo was having a crisis. 

The good news: Varian found something else to ask Hugo about.

The bad news: This was worse. 

It started in the lab. Unfortunately, while the two of them were incredible alchemists, they were also terrible in the safety department. It had been fine while Eugene was here. He’d managed to sniff out the chaos lingering under the surface like a sniffer dog and always found a way to be nearby to help whenever things went wrong. It would almost be sweet if it wasn’t Fitzherbert. 

But then Eugene had to go home. Someone had to tell Donella where they were, after all. 

They’d been struggling to make this reaction work. Most of the reactions they’d been working on over the last week had been irreversible, which was incredibly convenient for them. Irreversible meant they didn’t need to worry about their products shifting backward. Unfortunately, one thing alchemy and chemistry had in common was their hatred for convenience. 

They were both going crazy. No matter how much acetic acid they added, the reaction wouldn’t work. If it was working, it was going too slow to be useful in the slightest. Even if it did work, they hadn’t figured out how to make sure their product stayed their goddamn product. 

Rapunzel had suggested they do something else after walking in on them ping-ponging solutions back and forth at four in the morning under the willow tree. They’d scoffed at her. They had a year's worth of catching up to do and they were on a roll. 

Then, Varian had a solution. It was a fantastic solution. Dare he say brilliant. 

“What if we need a catalyst?” he asked. 

Hugo stopped. He held back the urge to hit himself in the head- they’d been struggling with this for an entire day and somehow none of them thought that maybe they’d need a goddamn catalyst. 

His face lit up as he looked down at his notes. “What did you have in mind?” 

A mischievous grin began to creep across Varian’s face. 

Sulfuric acid. 

The idea was simple- add a little bit of sulfuric acid to the flask, add as much acetic acid as humanly (and not-so-humanly) possible, and hopefully. Hopefully, they’d end up with enough product. 

The problem? Sulfuric acid? Turns out that stuff’s corrosive as hell. 

Hugo had been careful, thank you very much. He’d even worn proper gloves this time, instead of the fingerless ones that Varian loved making fun of. (They looked nice. Sue him.) 

It only took about 3 seconds for disaster to strike. Varian had been reaching for the round bottom flask. Hugo had been standing next to him, preparing the alcohol for the reaction. Varian slipped, knocking over the beaker that had been set between them. 

Suddenly, there were about 2 milliliters of sulfuric goddamn acid on Hugo’s right arm. It began to seep past the fabric. As soon as he felt cold liquid on his skin, he jumped. Varian looked at him frantically. 

“Sun and moon, I’m so sorry-” he gasped. 

Hugo tried to reply, but his voice trailed off into a hiss as he felt his nerves beginning to tingle. His arm felt warm. 

“Shit,” he muttered. “Shit, shit shit-” 

Varian’s hands hovered over him. His eyes darted frantically around the room. 

“Water,” he gasped. “Water, you need-” 

Hugo didn’t waste any time before he raced outside, towards the willow tree. He skidded to his knees and dropped his arm into the water of the shallow pond. Varian raced after him, carrying a towel. 

“Do you- what-” Varian stammered. “I’m so sorry-” 

“It’s OK,” Hugo said through clenched teeth. “It’s, it’s- ow, sonofabitch!” he exclaimed as his arm started to burn. The water wasn’t helping. Why wasn’t it helping? Son of a fucking bitch he was in so much pain he was going to explode he was going to leave his body he was going to- 

He cringed, silencing the whirlwind of noise that was bringing him to tears, and biting his lip to keep himself from crying out. 

Varian tugged at the edges of his sleeve. His voice was thick with tears as he tried to speak. “Come on. The sleeves are probably making it worse.” 

Despite the agonizing amount of pain he was in, Hugo couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips. 

“If you wanted to get my shirt off, you just had to ask.” 

Varian flushed and shoved at his shoulder. “Shut up.” 

Hugo rolled his eyes and pulled at the bottom of his shirt with one hand. Varian reached over, helping him peel it off, careful as they reached the acid-covered sleeve. Hugo cringed as Varian pulled it off, but gasped in relief as soon as it was gone. 

He heaved for breath, moving his arm back and forth in the water as he tried to ignore the throbbing pain that was still making it shake. 

“How are you feeling?” Varian asked, placing a hand on his back. 

“Better,” Hugo said, still gritting his teeth. “There was probably a better way to store that.” 

Varian sniffed a small sigh. “Yeah. Probably.” 

Varian leaned his head against Hugo’s shoulder, rubbing comforting circles into the small of his back. Hugo leaned his weight against him, blinking back tears that began to fall as the burning sensation finally began to let up. 

“OK,” Hugo said, pulling his arm out of the water. “I think I’m good to go back.” 

Varian raised an eyebrow at him. “We’re taking a break.” 

“Goggles-”

“We’re taking a break.” 

Hugo glowered, holding his burnt arm close to his chest. He wasn’t going to win this fight. 

He was about to get up to find another shirt when Varian suddenly went stiff. Hugo watched him carefully. 

“V?” he asked. “What’s wrong?” 

“Where did this come from?” Varian asked, pointing at Hugo’s other arm. 

Hugo was confused for approximately .1 second before he saw what Varian was pointing out. 

It had suddenly occurred to him the entire time Hugo had been here, he’d either been wearing long sleeves, or it was too dark to notice anything. 

Faint raised scars rose all the way up his arm towards his chest. They were curled, intricate braided patterns that looked less like scars and more like tattoos. In the light, they were almost tinted blue. 

Hugo’s mouth went dry. He knew the scars were bad. It didn’t occur to him just how bad they were. He’d only tried to look at them in a mirror once before he’d gotten nauseous.

And now Varian was seeing them. And there wasn’t much that could cause scars like this. 

“Th- I don’t know,” Hugo replied dumbly. 

“Bullshit,” Varian hissed, taking his arm and turning it over. He traced one of the scars lightly with his fingertips. “Hugo, this looks worse than my dad-” 

Hugo gave him a panicked shrug. “They’ve just been there-” 

“No they haven’t,” Varian snapped. “I’d- I’d have noticed.”

Hugo pursed his lips and stared. Varian stared back at him, challenging him to find some other excuse. 

“It- it doesn’t matter,” Hugo said quietly. 

“Yes it does,” Varian protested. “It-” 

Suddenly, he stopped. Hugo couldn’t feel the pain in his arm anymore. He was focused on the rushing of blood past his ears, the frantic thumpthumpthump from his chest as the color drained from Varian’s face. 

“Did I do this?” 

Hugo froze. The air felt thick and cold. He licked his lips.

“No,” he said quickly. The tremor in his voice gave him away.

“Hugo,” Varian said sharply. 

Hugo cringed and looked at the ground. “No,” he repeated. A sliver of truth slipped out before he could stop it. “Not- not directly.”

Varian’s face crumpled. 

“What- what does that mean?” he asked quietly. 

Hugo looked away. He tried to think of something he could say that would make this sound less bad but he couldn’t come up with anything. Son of a bitch, he was so screwed. 

“Hugo, please,” Varian begged. His voice wobbled. Hugo frowned as he looked up, catching tears beginning to slip down his cheeks. He swallowed a lump in his throat.

“Goggles, I-”

“Varian? Hugo? Are you guys down here? Quirin needs help carrying some boxes!”

Hugo flinched at the sound of Nuru’s voice. He twisted his head around to catch her eye as she crept through the wall.

“Guys? Guys, are you he- Oh.”

Nuru frowned at the scene she’d walked into. Varian frantically began wiping his eyes. 

“Are you guys OK? Uh, me and Rapunzel can handle it on our own, it’s fine.”

Hugo looked at Varian who shook his head. “No, no it’s fine. We’re fine. We’ll head right up.” 

“What happened?”

“Spilled acid on my arm, no biggie,” Hugo shrugged, flashing a wide grin. Nuru raised an eyebrow. 

“OK,” she said, in that tone that told him she did not believe him. “We’re right outside. Come when you’re ready.” 

She retreated silently. Hugo turned to look at Varian. He was wearing an unreadable expression, staring at the floor.

“V-”

“I should go,” he mumbled. “You- your arm’s probably still- uh,” he cut himself off, wincing. “Do you know where the first aid kit is?”

Hugo nodded. Varian jumped to his feet and hurried away before Hugo could say anything else.

He sat quietly. His heart was still racing, keeping him fixed in place. He listened to the faint plip as droplets of water fell from his arm and onto the grass. He kept his other arm hidden from his view. 

Ha. Ha. Fuck.

To call the next day interesting would be an understatement. 

Somehow the two of them had found a way to avoid each other without being physically separated. It was a delicate dance- they were close enough that they could see each other, but they’d barely exchanged 3 words throughout the entirety of the day. 

Because words were dangerous. Words opened the door to addressing the elephant in the room that Hugo didn’t know how to address. 

Hugo didn’t know what he was doing. This could not continue. He was going insane. He could tell Varian wasn’t faring much better if the frustrated sounds he was making on his side of the lab were anything to go off of. 

He’d gone outside to get fresh air. It wasn’t helping any. Somehow it was making him feel worse. 

He sighed, knocking his head against the side of the wall. Jesus Christ. 

He jumped as he felt someone punch his shoulder. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was. 

“Leave me alone, sparkles,” he bemoaned. 

“But you look so punchable,” she sighed, sliding next to him.

“I’m not in the mood.” 

“You’re never in the mood. That’s why it’s fun.” 

“I hate you.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

Hugo clicked his jaw shut, dragging his hands across his face. 

“ A lot.”

“Want to talk about it?” 

“No.” 

Nuru raised an eyebrow. 

“Fuck you, I don’t know.” 

“You’re allowed to talk about your problems Hugo.” 

Hugo glared at her. 

“I’m being serious. You were there for me when I was upset about my mom the other day. You think I’m not going to return the favor?” 

“It’s not a business exchange, sparkles.” 

“No, I’m your friend and I care about you. What’s wrong?”  

Hugo crossed his arms and huffed, looking down at his boots. 

“Varian saw my arms.” 

“Your arms?” 

“My-” he gestured down his left arm, over towards his chest. “The- you know.” 

Nuru’s mouth fell open into a small o.

“Shit,” she muttered. “What did he say?” 

“He asked if he did it and I- fuck I didn’t know what to say,” he hissed. “We’re not talking now because I don’t know how and I don’t think he does either. He knows something’s up and I don’t know what to fucking say.” 

Nuru pursed her lips. “Hugo, I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but I really think you need to tell him the truth.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Hugo-” 

“No, you don’t understand I can’t,” he snapped. He flinched, trying to force his volume down as he swallowed. 

Nuru stood silent, waiting for him to reign in his racing thoughts. 

“You know he doesn’t use his magic anymore?” Hugo said quietly. He shook his head, blinking back tears. “He’s completely stopped using it. He’s terrified and I can’t fucking blame him. I’m terrified too.” 

The weight of what Hugo admitted caused his heart to plummet into his gut. He shook his head. Was he really going to talk about this? Sure, Nuru knew the basics of what had happened in that cave. Both what she saw, and what Rapunzel and Hugo had told her later. But he hadn’t actually talked to her about it. Or Rapunzel. Or anyone for that matter. He’d barely let himself think about it. 

Because thinking about it meant reliving it. It meant remembering the way his muscles tugged against him. The feeling of being trapped. The way Andrew twitched one more time before his eyes glazed over. The horrifying satisfaction he felt watching his body drop that he couldn’t be sure belonged to him-

Nuru took Hugo’s hand and rubbed circles into his knuckle with her thumb. Hugo cracked. 

“I didn’t have any control,” he mumbled. “I could see everything that was happening. I knew what was going on but I couldn’t stop. I’ve never felt that powerless before and I don’t know if I’m ever going to forget.” 

“That sounds really scary.” 

“Ha, yeah,” Hugo snorted. “I just- it was bad. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for him. He almost killed his dad, he accidentally threw Rapunzel across the bridge, he-” Hugo’s voice abruptly cut off. Nuru looked at him expectantly. 

“He killed me. I can’t- I can’t-” Hugo’s eyes began to feel tight. He closed them, forcing back tears that rolled down his cheeks anyway. “I can’t do that to him. He’s got enough to worry about. He doesn’t need to be worrying about me too.” 

“I get it. I mean- I don’t get it, but I understand what you mean.” 

Hugo snorted, wiping away tears with his free hand. 

“I just- Hugo this is going to get worse the longer you wait, you understand that right?”

Hugo sniffed and looked away from her. 

“Seriously, Hugo. If he knows something’s up, he’s going to figure it out eventually. Don’t you think he deserves to hear what happened from you?” 

“Yeah but-” 

“No buts. He deserves the truth.”

“This’ll destroy him Nuru, I ca-” 

“This is destroying you,” she snapped. Hugo winced.

The worst thing about Nuru? She was always right. She knew it too. She stared at him, daring him to say anything else. His mouth went dry. 

“Go on,” she said, nudging him with his shoulder. “If you wait it’s just going to be harder. Talk to him.” 

“Fine,” he snarled. “Jesus fucking- fine.” 

“You’ll thank me later,” she beamed. 

“No, I won’t.” 

Nuru raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. Hugo shoved her head. 

He took a deep breath. She was right. He could do this. He could definitely do this. 

He could not fucking do this.

In his defense, he hadn’t even wimped out. 

(Yet.) 

Varian was gone. 

He’d stared blankly at the empty lab as if that would just make him appear out of thin air. He’d looked around the house, he’d looked outside, he was gone. 

The panic was already beginning to rise. Rapunzel hadn’t seen him. Nuru was with him, so obviously she hadn’t seen him either. 

He was going to scream. Or cry. Or do something equally as embarrassing. 

According to Quirin, there was one more place he could be hiding, but unfortunately for him, that meant walking through town. Corona had been a marvel the first time he’d stepped through the bridge. It was almost like a forest, with doors ingrained into the large twisted trunks of trees, flowers that swayed back and forth without any help from the wind, and small pulses of energy that made the whole place feel alive. 

But walking through once or twice, he quickly came to realize just how out of place he felt. He was an oddity to them. They could sense it too. He could feel the stares as he walked past, and it took every ounce of effort to just ignore them. (It was nice to know that some things didn’t change- even in an entirely different world, people were still people.) 

Tears were threatening to fall again as he made his way toward the forest. Somehow given the choice between being in an unfamiliar town, and walking into an endless forest that had swallowed hundreds of people, never to be seen again, he felt more comfortable with the forest. 

As soon as he stepped through the barrier of trees, there was silence. Bone-chilling silence. He could hear his heart jackhammering against his chest. He could hear the blood rush past his ears. He could hear the crunching of leaves under his feet, there was nothing around except for him. 

The leaves on the trees expanded out and retreated in like they were taking breaths. His chest followed the movement. He chewed his lip and trod carefully. He didn’t want to move too far from Corona- he knew how dangerous this forest could be, but he needed to find Varian. He needed to find him now. 

He jumped as his foot caught something solid. He looked down at what had tripped him. 

A small black rock was jutting out of the dirt. His heart dropped. 

“Varian?” he called out. Panic was beginning to claw up his throat. He felt sick. “Varian?!” 

His voice echoed. Nothing. 

The rock was teeming with energy. He could feel sparks in the air surrounding it. He frowned as he felt, more than heard a hum. 

He turned around and followed it. 

He started slow, but the feeling got stronger and Hugo’s panic began to grow and grow. Before he knew it, he was running, following the trail of rocks that lead him through lines of identical trees. 

He skidded to a halt as he heard something. 

He heard breathing. 

He crept around a tree. His heart stopped as he caught the figure curled under one of the large branches. 3 more rocks surrounded him. Hugo frowned and stepped forward. He cringed as he pressed his weight into a branch, causing it to snap. Varian flinched and looked up at him. His eyes were red and swollen, and his cheeks were tear-stained. 

“Varian?” 

“Sorry,” Varian said quickly, pulling his knees closer to his chest. He frantically glanced around. “Sorry, sorry, sorry-” 

“What’re you apologizing for?” Hugo asked softly. Varian wiped his eyes. 

“I- I couldn’t control them, they just-”

“V, you don’t have to apologize for that. That’s not your fault. Plus they’re your powers. You can do whatever you want with them.” 

Varian wiped his eyes and shook his head. “No I can’t,” he protested. 

“V-” Hugo said, stepping closer. 

“I c̶̞͒̊a̶̛͕͌ñ̶͈̀'̶̖̼̾͠t̸̟̻̕,” 

Varian snapped. The air around them chilled as his eyes flashed blue. As quickly as the light was there, it was gone. Varian’s face crumbled. He covered his face with his hands and let out a loud sob. 

“Varian,” Hugo repeated, crouching in front of him. 

“I know you’re scared of me,” Varian said. He pulled his face out from his hands, wrapping them around his legs and resting his cheek on his knees. “It’s OK. You don’t have to pretend you’re not. I’m a monster. I’d be scared of me too.” 

Hugo felt his heart shatter.

“I’m not scared of you V-” 

“Please don’t lie to me.” 

“I’m not,” Hugo insisted. “I swear to god I’m not.” 

Varian’s eyes began to well up with tears again. Hugo’s hands hovered over him before he settled on placing a hand on his back. 

“I haven’t been totally honest with you,” Hugo admitted, scooching to sit next to him. “I- that’s true. But I promise you I’m not scared of you. I couldn’t be.” 

Varian let out another loud sob. Hugo closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. 

“Do you think I’m a monster, V?” 

Varian curled his lip. “It’s not the same-”

“It- it’s more similar than you think.” He spoke quickly, afraid that if he let the words linger on the tip of his tongue he’d panic and retreat.

Oh god. He was really doing this.

Varian’s brows furrowed. He pursed his lip and shifted his head so he was looking away. Hugo used the silence to continue. 

“When- uh. When we were fixing the bridge, something happened.” 

Varian’s eyes widened. He lifted his head to meet Hugo’s gaze. Hugo felt his heart skip a beat. He swallowed, forcing back a stone that had lodged itself at the bottom of his throat. 

“We- Rapunzel couldn’t open it. Apparently, it doesn’t just use her magic. It uses magic from the sun and the moon. Because the moonstone was on our end, there wasn’t anything we could do.” 

Varian pursed his lips. He wiped his eyes. 

“So how did you?” 

Hugo cringed and rolled up his sleeve. Looking at his scars, he could still feel the ghost of a burn creeping up his arm. “I-uh. I used magic.” 

Varian’s face was drained of color. He scrambled to sit up, pulling Hugo’s arm towards him. He followed the scars up with his eyes. 

“You- what?” 

Now or never, Hugo. 

“When you brought me back, you left some magic behind. The moon helped me use it and, well. Here we are,” he said, forcing a smile. 

Varian stared at him blankly. Hugo held his breath, hoping and praying with every fiber of his being Varian would skip over the first half to focus on the second. He wasn’t sure what he’d say if-

“Brought you back?”  

Hugo’s mouth went dry. He nodded dumbly. 

“I- when?” 

“I guess it was when Andrew attacked us for the first time last year. I didn’t know,” Hugo clarified. “I wouldn’t have known if she didn’t tell me. I guess that’s something you can do as well.” 

Varian paused. A second passed. Then another one. Then a third. 

Then Varian’s face fell. 

“I killed you,” he muttered. 

“And you brought me back,” Hugo jumped in. “Don’t forget that bit.” 

“I killed you.” 

Varian didn’t move. He stared at his hands with wide, terrified eyes. Hugo hesitated before he reached out and took one of Varian’s hands. 

“And you saved my life, V. You saved my life twice that day. I’m not going to let you forget that.” 

Varian closed his eyes and shook his head frantically. Hugo leaned forward and placed his free hand on Varian’s cheek. 

“It’s not your fault,” he said firmly. “V, when I was using those powers, I felt so out of control. I could see everything. I was conscious, but I couldn’t stop. What happens when you lose control is not your fault.” 

Hugo sighed and stroked Varian’s cheek with his thumb, wiping away stray tears that continued to trail down his face. 

“You’re right. I am scared. But I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of myself. I’m scared of what happened to me, and I’m scared of what I became that day.”

“I’m sorry,” Varian choked out. “I’m so so so-” 

Hugo tugged Varian forward with their joined hands, pushing his head into his shoulder. Varian let out a loud, ugly sob. He grabbed Hugo’s shirt and pulled him even closer as he began to cry. Hugo ran his hands up and down his spine. Tears of his own were beginning to spring free. He nuzzled his head into Varian’s hair.

“Varian, you’re the reason that bridge is back,” Hugo mumbled. 

“To be fair, I broke it.” 

“It was a joint effort, dumbass.” 

Varian snorted and clung tighter.

“You’re not a monster, V. I’m so so sorry you’ve been stuck with this. It’s not fair. You’ve been dealt a shit hand and you’re doing the best you can.” 

Another cry ripped its way out from Varian’s chest. His shoulders began to shake.

“I don’t know what to do,” Varian lamented. “It won’t go away. No matter what I do, it won’t go away.” 

“I know,” Hugo muttered. “I know. We’ll figure something out. We always do.” 

Varian sniffled.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you, V. That wasn’t fair.” 

“It’s OK-” 

“It’s not. You more than anyone deserved to know what happened. I just- I didn’t know how to handle it and that’s on me.”

“Hugo-” 

“I love you. So so much. No DMDF on this planet is going to change that.” 

Varian huffed a small laugh. 

“I still hate that name.”

“Got a laugh out of you.” 

Varian looked up with a glare. “Shut up.” 

“Say you didn’t laugh,” Hugo challenged. 

Varian’s face darkened. Hugo’s smile widened. 

Varian whined and knocked his head back against Hugo’s chest. Hugo chuckled. He kissed the top of Varian’s head before he shifted, placing his hand under Varian’s jaw and tilting his head up. 

Wide blue eyes met green. Hugo’s chest felt warm. 

“It’ll be OK, Goggles.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because I know everything.” 

Varian rolled his eyes. Despite his attempts at looking put upon, there was a smile teasing the corner of his lips. Hugo brushed stray hairs that clung to Varian’s forehead and tucked them behind his ear. Varian closed his eyes. 

Hugo leaned closer. 

“I love you,” he mumbled. Varian tilted his head up.

As soon as their lips met, he felt the knot in his chest melt away. 

Things would be OK. They had to be.