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‘This boy has the most perfectly shaped lips I've ever seen. Too bad father's sent him to kill me.'
Jesper remembered the moment on his 14th birthday when those words had appeared on his wrist. He had laughed nervously and looked up at his Da who squinted at it with a raised eyebrow before chuckling.
"I mean it's gonna be like a joke right? I'll just be joking around with someone?" Jesper had said as he quickly rolled his sleeve back down, eager to not have to look at the words anymore.
"Of course Jesper, I doubt you'll ever be running after anyone in dark alleys waving weapons around." His Da had patted his on the back and rolled up his own sleeve, revealing his soulmark. "These things always have a way of working themselves out. Trust yourself, and trust your soulmate." Jesper reached out and ran his fingers over the words fondly, the way he always did when they talked about Mama.
For the rest of that year, Jesper continued to work with his father on the jurda farm and tried to be as nice to everyone as possible. He had decided for himself that his soulmate would not be in Novyi Zem (even though his Da had told him that that's not how it worked) so he was sure to make sure that no one thought he was going to kill them if they were spending time together. Then, when he turned 15, he was shipped off to Ketterdam for university. A fresh start, away from home, and a whole new city of potential soulmates. It wasn't like he tried to look like a killer whenever he saw someone he was interested in, especially while he was at university, but the opportunities to do so became far more frequent when he was forced to drop out and instead became a member of the Dregs.
His Da's words often echoed through his head as he lay awake at night in his room at the Slat, twirling his revolvers on his fingers and thinking about how when he learned to shoot with his Mama he had never intended to use guns for the things he did now. It almost made him laugh, how his Da could be so so wrong about how Jesper would turn out. Then the unbidden thoughts of how he gambled away his father's own hard-earned money would arrive and guilty, self-loathing tears would begin to sting behind his eyes. As nice as it was to have a steady bed to himself, it got lonely and Jesper got homesick. He touched his own soulmark.
Too bad father's sent him to kill me.
Jesper may have to kill his own soulmate. He'd heard stories of people who'd done it before and the pain seemed unbearable. But what would Kaz say if he came away from a job unsuccessful just because he thought they might be his soulmate. He couldn't think like that, with his feelings right in the forefront of his mind. He couldn't afford to think like that, not in the Barrel, or he'd end up on the wrong end of a shotgun.
It helped that Inej could relate. Although she would never admit it out loud, Jesper knew she was certain her soulmate was Kaz. She had shown her mark to him only once when the two of them were staying up late together after a job gone wrong, finding comfort in their friendship.
'I can help you too.'
It was a mirror of the first words Inej had ever spoken to Kaz, but had gotten no reply to. She had spoken about it on that night and that night only, never daring to mention it again just for the hopes that it could be true. Kaz of course never showed his own soulmark, so there was no way for her to be sure. Jesper appreciated her sharing the secret, and he in turn told her of his fear that he may have to kill his own one day.
"Rough life being a Dreg huh?" Jesper had laughed humourlessly as they looked out the window together across the smoggy skyline of Ketterdam.
"I've had rougher." Inej just replied softly, not looking anywhere but the sky.
So for two years, he forgot about his soulmate. Not completely of course. There were the quiet nights where his eyes would stray to his mark and he would sigh, wondering what it would be like to find that person, your person, that you know you're going to be with for the rest of your life. But most of the time his eyes were distracted by bullets, or money, or some random body held tight in his arms.
Until, when he was 17, Kaz sent him on a small job one sunny afternoon to go after some new demo man. Why he needed a new guy was beyond Jesper since Raske and Pim were just fine, but he knew better than to question Kaz when he wanted something. So he found himself at the Tannery (of all places) asking after a Wylan. The dye chief pointed him in the direction of a huge vat where stood over it was a thin boy holding a wooden paddle and stirring the contents with heavy arms. When Jesper cleared his throat the boy looked up suddenly and they locked eyes and-
Jesper's head cleared and he only had one thought. Sure, he was pale, his eyes were watering from the dye and he looked like he might pass out at any moment from lack of sustenance, but Saints he was pretty. There were ruddy brown curls sticking up wildly around his head and he stared at Jesper with wide blue eyes that reminded him of Zemini skies. He watched as the boy's eyes flitted down to his lips, back up again, then fill with fear.
'You got dropped in the wrong story little Prince.' Jesper thought, barely containing a smirk.
"Hm?" The boy made a noise, stepping away from his vat and rubbing his eyes. He scratched his wrist lightly and couldn't make eye contact with Jesper again.
"Hear you know your way around a chemistry set." Jesper said in answer, trying to hide his fluster and ignore the odd feeling on his wrist.
"What? I... Yes. A bit." The boy croaked, removing his gloves and taking a couple more steps towards Jesper.
"Just a bit?"
"I have a background."
Jesper nodded slightly and pulled the slip of paper that Kaz had given him with the address of the Crow Club written on it. He handed it to the boy and his stomach leapt as he felt a spark when their fingers brushed.
"Then come to this address when you get off work tonight. We might have a job for you. A real job." Jesper watched as the boy just squinted at the paper and he rolled his eyes.
"I- I don't know where this is."
"You're not from here are you?" Jesper said with a raised eyebrow. He sighed when he got no reply other than a frantic shake of the head. "Fine, I'll come fetch you, because I clearly don't have anything to do with my time but squire new lilies around town. Wylan right?" The boy nodded and Jesper looked at him expectantly. "Wylan what?"
"Wylan... Hendriks."
"You know much about demo, Wylan Hendriks?" Jesper asked, leaning on his hip and looking him up and down. He suspected the answer would be no, or a lie.
"Demo?"
"The boom, the bang, the flint and fuss?"
"...Sure."
Jesper sighed. Of all the things jobs Kaz could have sent him on, it had to be collecting a little inexperienced kid. At least he could be sure Wylan wasn't his soulmate. He hadn't even gotten his guns out, why would Wylan be threatened?
"We'll see. Be out front at six bells. And no guns unless you want trouble."
"Of course not."
"Kaz has got to be out of his mind." Jesper muttered to himself walking out of Tannery without looking back.
Jesper was never very good at first impressions, but if he had to choose one he regretted the most it would definitely be the one he left on Wylan. He knew that he had left Wylan feeling like nothing, like a child, like he couldn't possibly be of any use to Kaz but Jesper had to get him nonetheless. And at the time he didn't care all too much. He went to fetch Wylan at six bells, took him to the Crow Club and then carried on with his life. More money, more bullets, more bodies. Then he found himself wrapped up in a months long heist involving a possibly world-ending drug and feuds with a merchant and a Barrel King. And that wasn't even the most ridiculous part of the story.
He fell in love with Wylan Van Eck.
Wylan Van Eck who was not Wylan Hendriks, not a fragile Tannery boy, and most definitely the valuable son of one of the richest men in Kerch and heir to an extremely wealthy business empire. Jesper was also pretty sure he was just as crazy as the rest of them, which only made him more appealing. But that feeling just stung. Because Wylan never spoke about his soulmark and Jesper couldn't understand how the words etched on his skin could ever be the first thoughts Wylan had when they met. So he never brought it up. He believed it best to go through the heartbreak alone rather than drag Wylan through it with him. Another thought that seemed to circle his head constantly, even when cleaning out his guns to prepare for the auction.
"Jesper!" Wylan called out.
Jesper felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Wylan standing behind him. Actual Wylan. Jesper hadn't ever been more grateful that Tailors existed. To see Wylan's real face again in a time like this was a true blessing. Jesper couldn't help but smile.
"Yes sunshine?" He replied, calling Wylan a name only to see the blush dust his cheeks. It was addictive.
"Look, I just wanted to say before the auction tonight that-" Wylan paused and looked up at the ceiling as if he hadn't thought through the entirety of his sentence, which was a very real possibility. "If something goes wrong tonight Jesper, I wouldn't want to die without you knowing that-"
"Stop it merchling." Jesper said, gripping Wylan's shoulders. "I don't want to hear any of that, okay? Whatever it is, you can tell me in the morning. When we're alive."
"No, Jesper please." Wylan looked up at him with those same wide eyes that Jesper had been missing for months. Saints, Genya was good at her job. "I want to believe that to but I really can't risk something like this."
Jesper noticed he was rubbing his wrist furiously, the skin slowly turning red. He only nodded in reply, letting Wylan speak.
"The day we first met, I was terrified. I thought my father had sent someone new to kill me, someone who was just going to do it there and then, get the job over and done with. But you..."
Jesper's focus completely dropped off after the first sentence. Too bad father's sent him to kill me. His fingers skated over his wrist lightly. He remembered the way Wylan's eyes had flitted down to his lips and back up again. This boy has the most perfectly shaped lips I've ever seen. Jesper's pulse quickened. His palms went sweaty. Oh Saints, what was happening to him? He felt like a fresh-faced teen with a crush. Instead he was sitting across from this gorgeous boy who was- Wylan was-
Of course he was.
Jesper was an idiot.
"...and I just need to know if you feel the same way." Wylan reached across and took one of Jesper's hands in his own as he finished what was probably a long, deep and meaningful speech that Jesper unfortunately didn't listen to a word of. He stared blankly at Wylan.
"What?"
"Forget it." Wylan rushed out, dropping Jesper's hand. He looked like he was about to sprint out of the room but Jesper got hold of him again before he could do so. "What are you-"
"Does this sound familiar to you?" Jesper held his wrist up close to Wylan's face. Jesper read the words aloud for him. "This boy has the most perfectly shaped lips I've ever seen. Too bad father's sent him to kill me." The younger boy stared at it for a moment before caressing the words with his fingers, the touch sending shivers down Jesper's spine. Oh it had to be him.
"This was- When we first-" Wylan's blush had spread all the way down his neck and his eyes were shining. He lifted up his own arm and his hands were shaking as he rolled up his sleeve to reveal the words on his own wrist.
You got dropped in the wrong story little Prince.
Jesper grinned.
"I still believe that you know."
Then Wylan was laughing and jumping up into Jesper's arms who returned the hug with the same level of enthusiasm. He spun him round and it was all terribly romantic considering there was a high chance that this was their last night. Wylan touched Jesper's face gently as if he didn't want to break him, before surging forward and kissing him. And it was everything that Jesper could have hoped for. It was a million feelings at once, almost overwhelming. But he just felt complete.
"Wylan," Jesper whispered when they pulled apart, still feeling like the world belong to just the two of them. "I really hope we don't die tonight."