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It was a dark and stormy night on the Isle of Staten. Just after 1AM. The weather was a mood and the mood was catching. Nandor had already lost three games of chess in a row to Guillermo. A poor winner who did not wish to play more. He begged off, wishing to grill cheese. Nandor pouted as he sipped from a mug of re-heated blood. It was not as good as fresh, but Nandor did not wish to go out in the rain. And Guillermo was on him that somebody should drink the leftovers in the fridge. Or what was the sense of collecting them if everyone was just going out to hunt every night and no one was drinking them? He supposed Guillermo was right, though perhaps a bit bossy and naggy.
Additionally, Guillermo had just washed, combed, styled, and oiled his hair. He did not wish for it to get damp, flat and ruined. He knew how nice it looked. He had asked Guillermo to take a selfie photograph. Guillermo had made a silly face with his eyes wide and his tongue hanging out of the left side. Nandor had been smiling nicely. After observing that his hair looked very nice indeed, Nandor asked for a second selfie photograph where they would both make funny faces. Guillermo went along with the request, this time crossing his eyes while Nandor stuck his tongue out.
Nandor wished that Guillermo would have the photograph made and put it up some place, but since Photo Hut closed in 2002, Nandor wasn’t sure how one made a photograph anymore. Perhaps they just lived in peoples’ phones and the internet. And Nandor thought it was a shame. He would like to look at photographs of himself and Guillermo from time to time. Even if he was a hungry, bossy, naggy, ungracious winner of a familiar.
And it was movie night… at least there was that. But not until 2:30AM. And Guillermo was hungry. Had things to do. Must fold the laundry. Pay the bills. Run the vacuum. Did Nandor want to help to get it done faster? Then they could spend more leisure time together. Nandor shook his head. He wanted a rematch at chess. Not to assist with Guillermo’s familiar work. There had to be some perk to being a centuries old vampire, after all. He did not give up his immortal soul so that he might take a Swiffer Wet Jet for a spin…
Feeling a bit mopey and bored as he shuffled toward his bedchamber, Nandor was instantly intrigued when he heard a bit of a commotion coming from outside… out front, more precisely. A little scraping. A little banging. Then a clatter. Nandor went to his room to grab his Tabarzin. He put down his mug on a side table, hustled back to the front door and opened it. He observed that a raccoon had knocked down their metal trash can and was beginning to work at one of the bags, gnawing with his little teeth as he held it with his cute little raccoon hands. Nandor tilted his head and smiled. And then frowned. Poor little fella out in the rain. Nandor put his battleaxe down, leaving it leaned up against the wall by the door. This was a job for diplomacy… not weapons.
"Hey Mister Raccoon... would you like to come inside? It is really coming down out there. I can get you a towel and a bite to eat, if you wish. What do you say?" Nandor called out to the little creature. The raccoon ceased his efforts and stared intently at Nandor for a moment. Nandor gave the little guy (or gal possibly- Nandor wasn’t sure) a smile of encouragement. With that the raccoon abandoned the overturned trash can and began to trot up the walkway towards the open door.
Nandor beamed as the drenched little critter climbed the front stairs and then shuffled his way across the threshold.
“Excellent. Just a moment,” Nandor excused himself, speeding to the cabinet and picking out a big fluffy charcoal gray towel. It was technically one of Guillermo’s, but Nandor was sure he wouldn’t begrudge their adorable, waterlogged little guest.
Nandor returned quickly. The raccoon continued to stand just inside the house. Nandor pulled the heavy door shut and locked it.
"Hello again, my new friend,” Nandor told the raccoon, smiling as he bent down to begin to dry him with the towel. Nandor noted that the towel smelled nice… like lavender, orchids, and vanilla. The substance Guillermo used to soften the fabrics.
“GUILLERMO!?!?"
"Yeah?" Guillermo called from the kitchen.
"What do raccoons eat?" Nandor inquired, taking a cross-legged seat on the floor. As he continued to gently dry the raccoon with the towel.
"What am I? Siri?” Guillermo retorted.
“Hmm?” Nandor responded. He did not know from Siri. He just wanted an answer to his question.
“According to Google, they prefer crayfish, frogs, fish, snails and clams. They also enjoy insects, eggs, fruits, vegetables, nuts and dead animal carcasses. And they're not great hunters, but sometimes can get a small mouse, rat, or squirrel... why do you ask?"
Guillermo called. Nandor noted that Guillermo already sounded suspicious, though personally, Nandor failed to see the problem.
"We have a guest. Please prepare some of his favorite dishes,” Nandor instructed.
Guillermo emerged from the kitchen and proceeded to the foyer, spatula still in hand. He frowned as he observed what Nandor was up to. Nandor looked up a bit defiantly. Who was the master here? He would invite a cold wet, little raccoon in if he wanted to.
"Nandor... you should not have let a raccoon into the house. I feel like I shouldn't have to say that," Guillermo stated matter-of-factly.
"Why not? He seems quite friendly. And it is really pouring out there,” Nandor pointed out, his voice a bit whiny as he gently worked the towel over the raccoon’s little ears.
Guillermo sighed. His demeanor softened a bit. Nandor gazed up at him and smiled.
"I’m not trying to be mean or insensitive, Master… but that raccoon could be riddled with disease. Rabies, even... which as a vampire who turns into a bat... that might be a concern for you? I actually don't know. But as a human, catching rabies wouldn't be the greatest for me, so..."
"Yes, well, Buster is a nocturnal creature. It is the nighttime. He's acting quite normal. We could ask Laszlo to ask him his medical history if it would make you more comfortable," Nandor suggested, and he adjusted the towel a bit in order to engage a fresh, dry section of towel.
“You shouldn’t name it.”
“It is done, Guillermo. He looked like a ‘Buster’ and that is what we shall call him,” Nandor proclaimed.
"Is that one of my good towels?” Guillermo asked.
Yes. He is a guest, Guillermo,” Nandor appealed with a slight shrug.
“You are impossible,” Guillermo responded, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.
"Can you make Buster some scrambled eggs, Guillermo? Please?” Nandor requested, looking up at Guillermo again, as he gathered Buster up into his arms like a baby with Guillermo’s fancy towel wrapped about him. Nandor looked up at Guillermo again, smiling slightly. Batting his eyelashes just a tiny bit. Guillermo was not immune to his charms. Nandor had noticed this and used this knowledge sparingly. Breaking it out to help his new friend seemed a worthy cause.
Guillermo sighed again and shook his head.
Nandor frowned a bit and clutched Buster closer to his chest. He made a sort of purring noise. So sweet. Nandor widened his eyes slightly.
"Those are my eggs. Do you know what eggs cost right now? And also, I am still really opposed to having a raccoon in the house,” Guillermo argued.
"Please Guillermo? He would do the same for you, I am sure. If he could...and you may wish to go check on that cheese you were grilling. It smells as though it may be starting to burn a bit,” Nandor noted.
"Dammit. Fine. But keep him away from me," Guillermo instructed, pointing his spatula at Buster before turning to making his retreat to the kitchen.
"Okay-a! But it is movie night..." Nandor called, bouncing Buster a bit as he continued to cradle him in his arms. The racoon purred loudly. Nandor beamed down at him.
"Yeah, well. I guess you'll have to choose,” Guillermo responded.
"I will try to find a sitter," Nandor pronounced.
"That wasn't what I meant," Guillermo grumbled, even as Nandor heard Guillermo fetching another frying pan. The spritz of the cooking spray. The opening of the refrigerator and the cracking of the eggs against the side of the pan.
Nandor smiled. He was hopeful that Guillermo would come around. The thought of sitting beside his dear Guillermo on Guillermo’s little bed with Buster curled up, warm, dry and purring on his lap while they watched a movie together seemed so cozy. But perhaps if not tonight, then next time. Nandor was confident that he and Buster could win Guillermo over. Even if it took a bit of time.