Archive of Our Own ^beta

Nico felt it the moment it happened.

It woke him from a dead sleep. He sat bolt upright, gasping, sweat slicked strands of hair sticking to his forehead.

Will stirred beside him. "Neeks? Whass wrong?" 

Nico didn't respond. He couldn't. He was too stunned to even be embarrassed about the fact that they’d fallen asleep on his bed together, Mythomagic cards strewn across the blankets in front of them. Something… something was wrong. Off. He couldn't place it. There was a hole in the world, and he didn't know why.

The bed creaked as Will shifted to sit up more. "Nico?" His tone was confused. Worried.

"I…" Nico shook his head. "I don't know. Something's wrong. I don't…"

He shook his head again, trying to gather his thoughts. This was something he'd felt before. Something familiar. He tried to remember, his sleep-addled brain slow and confused. What was it? Something bad. Something very bad. If only he could remember…

Only later would he realize that really, he'd known from the beginning. Only later would he realize that those few moments of confusion, incomprehension, were his mind's gift to him. A few more seconds of peace.

It was a loss. Something was gone. Some one… 

No.

No.

No.

"Nico?"

No no no no no no no -

"Nico, please, what's -"

"Someone died.”

His voice was hoarse, like his body knew what was coming. Like it was preparing.

"Someone died?" Will sounded more alert now, his worry and confusion trumping his exhaustion. His voice rose slightly in volume, pitch matching emotion, as he shifted in the sheets to face Nico better. "Who died? Nico, what's going on?"

Nico looked up, felt his hands start to shake. No. No no no no no. This wasn't fair. This wasn't right. How… why… 

Nico stared at his boyfriend, his breaths coming faster, fists curling into the sheets.

"Jason. Jason's dead."

***

When Hazel IMed him, Nico didn't even let her say hello. He simply looked up into her tear-streaked face and said, "I know."

***

Nico didn't attend the funeral at Camp Jupiter. He couldn't have if he'd wanted to - it had been a rushed affair, a quick sendoff with whoever happened to be there before the whole camp went to battle.

Nico didn't care. He wouldn't have - couldn't have gone, anyway. It was Jason's Roman sendoff. His life before Camp Half-Blood. They would celebrate him as a praetor. A hero. Some larger-than-life version of Nico's best friend. It made him sick to think about.

Jason wasn't some great hero. He wasn't just another tragic death for the history books.

He was a scared kid with a heart too big for his own gods damned good.

Percy and Annabeth had just boarded a plane to California. It was supposed to be a happy occasion. They were finally going to college, finally free of demigod life. They were looking forward to four whole years of peace and quiet, living normal, uneventful lives.

Piper greeted them at the airport.

Annabeth IMed Nico in tears.

None of it felt real. Nico just kept going. He had breakfast with Will. He spent his mornings in the infirmary. He ate lunch with the off-duty Apollo campers and taught sword fighting in the afternoons. He attended the campfire. He trained. He fought.

The world kept turning. Kept moving. It wasn't right. Jason Grace was dead. The world should've stopped. Everything on the planet should've paused, taken notice.

Jason Grace is dead.

No one stopped. No one cared.

So it couldn't be real.

Because if it was, if he was really gone… Nico couldn't believe it'd be like this. That he'd just go poof, stop existing, stop being, and no one would take notice. 

It wasn't real.

It couldn't be.

***

Reyna IMed him. She'd joined the Hunters.

Nico wouldn't speak to her. He couldn't.

She didn't ask him to.

***

The first time Will kissed Nico, it was because of Jason’s death.

Considering he’d been their biggest, most annoying cheerleader, Nico thought there was a kind of dark irony in that.

Will was trying to get Nico to talk about what had happened. His thoughts. His feelings. Anything, really, he just wanted Nico to open up.  

But he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Because opening up, admitting that he was in pain… it would be like acknowledging that what had happened had really happened. That Jason was really gone.

And that was simply unacceptable.

So Nico ran, like he always did. Except this time, Will followed. He grabbed his wrist, and when Nico turned to yell at him, Will kissed him instead.

It was warm and soft and perfect. It was everything Nico had ever wanted or needed.

And when Will pulled away, looked at him with nervous, unsure eyes, Nico chased his lips, chased the feeling, the split second of peace.

Because he couldn’t bear for Will to think, for even a moment, that it was anything short of the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to Nico.

Because the only logical thing to do after a kiss like that was to kiss again, and again, and again.

Because the only alternative to obliterating every thought in his head with the way Will’s lips felt against his own was to realize how much he wanted to tell Jason all about it.

***

Camp Half-Blood had its own memorial service.

The day dawned bright and beautiful, like it had been painted in technicolor. The grass was a vibrant green. The breeze was gentle and smelled sweet. The sky was cobalt blue.

It was all wrong.

Nearly every Greek who had fought in the Giant War was there. Some who didn't. Percy and Annabeth came back to attend, as well as the Hunters. Even a few Romans came, Hazel and Frank among them. 

They dedicated the construction of the new monuments to the gods to Jason's memory.

Nico was asked to speak.

He declined.

Thalia showed up just as the service began. She didn't say a word the entire time. She just sat there, staring into nothing, her eyes devoid of any feeling. At the end, she stood, face blank and emotionless.

She turned and walked away.

Afterward, when the people began streaming away from the cabins where the memorial had been held, Nico slipped down to the beach. He couldn't deal with the niceties. The condolences. The quiet whispers and glances. The "are you okays."

Of course he wasn't okay.

How could he be okay?

How would anything ever be okay again?

The sand was soft and warm. Nico sank into it, pulling his knees up to his chest. He stared out at the Long Island Sound, which was a beautiful, sparkling blue. It was wrong. All wrong. Nothing had the right to be that beautiful.

Not today.

"Hey."

Nico started. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there. He didn't bother turning, already knowing who stood there.

"Hey."

Piper sat down on his right. When Nico glanced over, he saw that her face was streaked with tears.

"I didn't see you at the service."

Piper gave him a tiny smile. "I was there. Way in the back. I, uh…" She trailed off.

"Couldn't deal with the people?"

She glanced over at him and huffed out a humorless laugh. "Yeah."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Where's Leo?"

"Couldn't bring himself to come." Piper shook her head. "He told me to tell Jason that he was sorry. He couldn't face all those people. Not after… not after his mom."

Nico nodded. He knew Leo had lost his mother when he was very young, and then spent some time with some less-than-great people. Funerals were probably not a good experience for him.

Not that they were a good experience for Nico, either. Or anyone really.

"You know…" Piper started, then stopped. Nico waited for her to continue.

"You know we - we broke up. Not long before…" She trailed off.

Before he died.

"I know."

Piper looked over in surprise. Nico gave her a wry smile. "He IMed me. Told me what happened."

Piper nodded slowly, smiling just the tiniest bit. "Should've known he'd tell you." 

After a long moment, she spoke again.

"Do you think he hated me?"

Nico looked over in surprise. Out of everything he'd expected her to say, that was at the bottom of the list.

He shook his head. "Of course not."

Piper let out a laugh so cold and empty it nearly broke Nico in two. She leaned back and looked up at the clear blue sky, kaleidoscope eyes blank and emotionless. Empty. "How could he not?"

"Piper…" 

She looked over at him, expression raw. Hurting. Nico sighed. "Jason didn't hate you. Ever. I'm pretty sure he's glaring up at you from Elysium right now for even suggesting it." Piper rolled her eyes, her lips tugging up a little at the corners.

"He understood why you did it. Did he like it? Of course not. But he didn't blame you." Nico heaved another sigh and stared out over the Sound. "He just… he just wanted you to be happy. He loved you, Piper. He still does. I doubt he'll ever stop. Everything he did… it was to keep you safe. To keep you happy. He knew that you were doing the right thing. For both of you."

When Nico looked over, Piper was in tears. His eyes widened. He really was no good at this.

"Shit, Piper I'm sor -"

She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder, tears soaking into his black aviator jacket.

"Thank you."

Hesitantly, Nico wrapped an arm around her. At first he kind of awkwardly patted her back, but eventually he just settled the other arm around her shoulders and held her. He held her together so she could fall apart.

"Got room for one more?"

Piper and Nico looked up. Thalia stood behind them, eyeliner smudged, dark hair mussed.

Nico had had problems with Thalia in the past. She was a Hunter. One of the people who'd taken away his sister. Not only that, she'd actually been present at her death.

Now they were even, and it made him ill.

Piper held out an arm, and the other girl wiggled in between them.

Reyna joined them at some point. The older girl sat to Nico's left, just a few inches away. Knees tucked up, eyes trained on the horizon. Face blank. After a moment, he reached out and tugged her over to their little huddle.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and leaned her head against his.

They stayed that way for a long, long time. The family of Jason Grace. His sister. His best friend. His girlfriend. Someone who had somehow managed to, in many ways, become all three. The people who knew him best. The people who would miss him most.

They all cried.

***

When Nico got back to his cabin, Will was there. He didn't ask where Nico had been. He just held up the covers so Nico could crawl into bed.

Nico stayed in his arms until sleep finally took him.

***

Nico dreamed about Jason. 

He was grinning brightly, gesturing at his diorama of Temple Hill. They were in the Zeus cabin, but it was different. Sunlight streamed in through large windows, bathing the room in a warm, buttery light. The statue was gone from its center, replaced by a few bunks, an overstuffed couch, and a plush rug. A wooden desk sat under one of the windows, with a pencil sharpener and a stack of stationary on top.

It was still tidy and a little sparse. Things still sat at right angles throughout the room. But it was much homier. Much more Jason.

Piper sat on a bunk off to the side, laughing quietly. Thalia was moving one of the tiny styrofoam structures just a little to the left. She caught Nico's eye and held a finger to her lips, grinning mischievously. Reyna stood next to her, expressionless except for her eyes. They danced with laughter as she watched Thalia. 

It was a memory, Nico realized. Slightly different from reality - he was pretty sure Percy had been here, too, and the cabin was obviously different - but close enough to make his heart ache.

"Ten bucks says he notices within the next five minutes," Thalia muttered.

Reyna snorted. "Twenty says within the next two."

Piper was trying desperately not to lose it, but finally she let out a loud snort. She clapped a hand over her mouth, but Jason was already turning. He looked down and frowned. "Who moved Kym's temple?"

"Ha!" Reyna exclaimed, holding out a hand. "Pay up, Grace. Not even a minute."

"No fair!" Thalia crossed her arms. "Piper tipped him off."

Piper threw her hands in the air. "Don't get me involved! I had nothing to do with this!"

"Are you people actually taking bets on me?" Jason looked offended.

"Brother dear, if you haven't noticed, you are just a smidge uptight." Thalia grinned. "I've gotta break you in!"

Jason gasped in mock offense. "How dare you! You know, some people would say you're a bit too broken in."

Thalia snorted. "Yeah, but they don't. Because they know they'll die if they do."

"You know you can't solve every problem with threats, right?" Jason said.

"Why not?" Reyna, Piper, and Thalia asked in unison. Then they grinned at each other and fist bumped.

Jason put his head in his hands. "The gods help me." He turned to Nico. "C'mon Neeks, you're with me here, right?"

Nico shrugged. "I mean, threats do work. Like, most of the time.”

Jason rolled his eyes, mussing Nico's hair. "You're such an emo." 

Nico swatted the older boy away. "I don't know what that is."

Piper and Jason gasped in unison. "You're so uncultured!" Jason whined. He and Piper started listing things they needed to teach Nico to “culture” him, Reyna attempting to intervene on his behalf, although she just ended up teasing him too. Thalia started reminiscing about Nico's irritating ten year old days, which Jason, Piper, and Reyna were all worryingly interested in. Nico tried to be annoyed, but he couldn't. He loved them too much.

Soon they had lost the topic of conversation. They were just laughing. Laughing together in the warm, buttery sunlight.

Nico woke up feeling empty.

***

Piper was gone by morning.

She asked Annabeth to tell everyone she had gone. Her excuse was a family emergency back in Tahlequah, but Nico suspected it had more to do with being at camp. There were so many memories for her here. Too many. 

At breakfast, Nico saw Thalia sitting at the Artemis table. She was alone.

Will followed his gaze. "Go to her," he said quietly.

Nodding, Nico kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and went over. Thalia was staring into her cup of coffee, seemingly oblivious to the world around her, but when Nico walked up behind her, she sighed. 

"What is it, di Angelo?"

"Why are you sitting here alone?"

Thalia let out a breath. "Because there's no one to sit with?"

"What about the Hunters?" Even Artemis herself had come to pay her respects yesterday.

"Moved out. I decided to stay here for a bit. Problem?"

"No. But you shouldn't sit alone," Nico said.

"What do you suggest?"

"Come sit with us."

“Pretty sure that breaks the assigned seating rule.”

“Will wrote me a doctor’s note. I’m sure he’d be happy to write you one too.”

"Nico -"

"Don't do this."

Thalia turned and looked at Nico, confused. "Don't do what?"

"Push people away." Nico moved more to the right so Thalia could see him better. He would've sat down, but he didn't want to risk being blasted to smithereens by the male-intolerant goddess. "I know all you want right now is to be alone. You don't think anyone else understands, and you don't want them to. Because it's easier to be alone. It's easier to not have to deal with other people."

Thalia didn't say anything.

"But the fact is, Thalia…" Nico put a tentative hand on her shoulder, lowering his voice slightly. "I do get it. I’ve been where you are. I know what it's like. And trust me, pushing people away is the last thing you should do. You'll regret it." He looked down at his shoes. "I know I did."

For a long moment, she didn't speak. Nico was sure she was about to pull away, sure he was about to be gutted with a hunting knife and left for the cleaning harpies.

Then she abruptly stood, turned, and walked over to the Apollo table. She sat down next to Will, who smiled at her and kept talking. Kayla and Austin faltered for a moment, but when Nico came and sat on the huntress's other side, they both relaxed and went back to their conversation.

"Thank you," Nico murmured quietly, so that only Thalia could hear.

"Whatever di Angelo. You were whining so much I figured this was the only way to shut you up."

A smile flickered over Nico’s face. He knew her barbs were a coping mechanism. He knew she had to act like she was okay.

He knew that she wasn't. He'd seen the cracks in her armor yesterday. He'd seen the pain underneath.

Hades. He'd lived the pain underneath.

Nico looked down and ate his breakfast in silence.

***

Nico arrived at the arena early that afternoon, hoping to warm up before his class started. He found Reyna there, absolutely demolishing a straw dummy with a sword.

"I didn't think Hunters used swords." Nico winced at the acid in his voice.

Reyna paused. She sighed.

"They usually don't. But shooting arrows isn't nearly as gratifying." 

Sheathing her sword, she walked over to the stands, taking a long drink out of a water bottle. Nico huffed and joined her, shrugging off his jacket and dropping it beside her things.

"I thought the Hunters left."

Reyna nodded slowly. "They did. Thalia and I stayed behind."

Then where were you at breakfast? Nico thought. Why did you leave Thalia alone? But he didn’t say it. He just nodded. Then he gestured to the sword in her hand. "Want to spar?"

Her eyebrows raised slightly, but then she shrugged. "Sure."

They moved to the center of the arena, facing off. This wasn't the first time they'd sparred, and Nico knew her fighting style well. It was Roman at first glance, all stiff posture and careful calculation, but had an unpredictable element that caused her to occasionally break form and throw random, disarming jabs. A remnant of her time with the pirates. 

Nico struck first. Feint left, quick slash right. His feet moved him forward quickly, dancing backward just as fast to avoid Reyna's retaliatory blow. She pushed him back further, stiff Roman jabs aimed at his shoulder, knee, and midriff, thrown in such quick succession it was all Nico could do to avoid being hit. He ducked another swing and popped up behind Reyna, managing to land a blow on her arm with the flat of his sword before she turned and blocked him. They locked blades, and she pushed her strength advantage, leaning forward so that Nico could barely keep hold of his weapon.

"Sorry, by the way," she said, panting from the exertion.

Nico quirked an eyebrow. "For what?"

"You know. Joining the Hunters."

Nico scowled. He did not want to have this conversation right now. In a bold move, he dropped his sword, diving out of the way as Reyna fell forward. He rolled to his feet and scooped up his sword. "It's fine. Whatever."

He started to walk away, but Reyna's arm shot out and grabbed his ankle, tripping him. He barely caught himself in time to avoid breaking his nose on the arena floor. 

"It's not fine, di Angelo. We need to talk about this." She scrambled to her feet, grabbing her sword from where it had fallen beside her.

Nico rolled over so that he was on his back. In one fluid motion, he gripped his sword, flipped to his feet, and swung. Reyna blocked easily.

"What do you want to talk about, exactly? You joined. It's not like you can back out now. I doubt you would if you could. So whatever. It's done. End of story." Nico punctuated the end of each sentence with a powerful swing of his blade, forcing Reyna to go on the defensive. When she blocked the last swing, she pushed up forcefully, setting Nico off balance. 

"I want to talk about how you feel." She managed to land a hit on Nico's leg with one of her random swings. He hissed in pain. "You can't expect me to believe you're just okay with this!"

Nico felt the anger rise in his chest. He threw his sword onto the arena floor.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR?" He knew he was yelling. He couldn't bring himself to care. "You want to hear how heartbroken I was when Bianca decided to leave me? You want to hear how terrified I was when she went on that quest and left me here, alone? Maybe you want to hear about how I got so angry at Percy for letting her die, I opened a giant crack in the dining pavilion floor and set some skeletons on him!"

"Nico -" Reyna tried to cut in, but now that he'd started, Nico found he couldn't stop.

"Or maybe you want to hear about after. The months I spent with Minos, learning to fight and use my powers.” Nico’s voice cracked. “How I nearly killed Percy by convincing him to take a dip in the Styx? And then, when that didn't do him in, nearly got him trapped in my father's dungeons? How I saved everyone in this miserable camp in the Battle of Manhattan, only to be thrown out again when they were safe?" Nico's eyes stung with tears. He balled his fists. "Do you have any idea what the Hunters took from me, Reyna? Any idea at all? If Bi hadn't died, none of that would've happened. She was my last piece of family, the last person who cared, and the Hunters just swept in and took her away. I don't blame her for going. Immortality? A life without responsibility? An opportunity to get away from her annoying little brother?" Something halfway between a laugh and a ragged sob escaped him, and Reyna automatically took a step toward him, at a loss for words. "Honestly, I think she would've been insane to turn it down. But it hurt. So much."

"Nico…" Reyna's eyes were wide, her face unsure. It was a scary look for her. Nico didn't think he'd ever seen her unsure about anything.

But Nico wasn't done. "And then you join. Right after - after -" Nico couldn't say his name. "After his death. You joined them."

"Nico, I'm sorry." Reyna stepped forward again, going to hug him. "I'm sorry."

But Nico shook his head, taking a step back. "Rey, I'm not mad at you. I don't blame you for joining, either, I don't…" Nico squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head slightly. After a moment, he spoke again, voice quiet and rough with tears.

"I just can't lose another sister."

"Nico…" This time, when Reyna wrapped her arms around him, Nico let her. He buried his face in her shoulder and hugged her back, letting out another sob. She squeezed him tighter, bringing a hand up and stroking his hair. "You’re not going to lose me, Nico. I'm not going anywhere.” Her arms gathered him closer, her voice gentle, yet fierce. “I’m not going anywhere."

Nico just held her tighter.

***

Reyna and Thalia left two days later. They'd stayed as long as they could, and Nico knew that they probably needed some semblance of normal. To keep moving forward. Even if it wasn't fair. 

Reyna made sure to find him before they left. She told him that he could IM her anytime, anyplace, and she’d be there, no matter what.

She hugged him fiercely, and told him she loved him.

And then she was gone, too.

Nico tried to keep moving. He’d frozen after Bianca’s death. Allowed it to swallow him up. Allowed her loss to define him. He knew that letting Jason’s death do the same would be the greatest dishonor to his memory possible, so he tried to move… not past it, but through it. Tried to keep wading through the pain rather than just letting it drown him.

But it was so hard. Everywhere he went, there were reminders. The table they’d dubbed the “Big Three” table after the Giant War, when Jason and Percy had tried to make him feel more welcome and less alone. The lake, where Jason had tried to teach Nico to swim, only to nearly drown when a naiad grabbed his leg. Nico had teased him about that for weeks, and he’d refused to go back, although Nico kept saying he’d drag him back one day, just to see if the naiads still had a thing for him.

They’d never gotten around to it, somehow.

Nico trudged on. Passed each day with chores and weak laughter. Tried to do Jason proud.

Then, one warm spring day about a month after the Greek memorial, Nico received a summons from Chiron.

“What? Why?” Nico asked, blinking at Cecil, who’d delivered the message.

Cecil shrugged. “Beats me. Seemed kinda serious.” He grinned. “Are you in trouble?”

Nico scowled at him. “How should I know?”

Cecil wiggled his eyebrows. “I dunno. Do anything especially… interesting with Will lately?”

Nico’s scowl deepened, and he glared at Cecil, whose only response was to laugh harder. Letting out an irritated huff, Nico hunched his shoulders and started up the hill, Cecil’s cackles trailing behind him. With some trepidation, he approached the Big House, passing the empty rocking chair on the porch and pushing open the screen door. Chiron was sitting in the front room, in wheelchair form, staring at the wall in deep thought. He looked up when Nico walked in, smiling tiredly. “Hello, Nico. Thank you for coming.”

Nico nodded, nerves humming. “Sure. Um… what’s up?”

Chiron sighed, running his fingers across the quilt draped over his legs. “I… have a task for you. You may reject it if you wish, but I’ve already asked Thalia, and she’s declined. I thought you were perhaps the most appropriate replacement.”

“Um. Okay…?” Nico’s anxiety was rising by the minute. What on earth was Chiron about to ask of him?

Chiron sighed again. “We… we still have not cleaned out the Zeus cabin.”

Nico’s heart dropped. He felt a little queasy. “Oh.”

He knew this, of course. Of all the reminders in camp, the Zeus cabin was the worst. Nico avoided it as much as he could, though it was nearly impossible to do so when his own cabin was so close by. Each time he passed it, he was overwhelmed with a flood of memories. Of Jason grinning at him and teasing him for his crush on Will. The Mythomagic tournaments they’d had once or twice. Those few times when Nico had confided in him, the warm, comfortingly fierce hugs he’d receive. The whispered assurances that everything was going to be fine, that Nico was safe and among friends.

He’d always lengthen his stride, running from the memories as quickly as he could, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill over.

And now Chiron wanted him not only to linger, but to enter. To walk where he’d walked. Touch what he’d touched. Pack up and throw away what had been most dear to him.

Chiron spoke. “You do not have to. I can ask someone else. I just thought… you might wish to do it yourself.”

Nico swallowed. “I… I’m sorry. I can’t. I just…” He blinked a few times, looking away. “I can’t.”

Chiron nodded, eyes sad. “I understand. I only wished to…” He paused. “Ask.”

Nico nodded, not knowing what else to say. He turned to go, but Chiron spoke again. “I know this is hard for you. But should you need to talk… I would be more than happy to listen. I know a thing or two about death.”

And suddenly, it occurred to Nico that this wasn’t the first time Chiron had lost a pupil. He’d known this, of course - Chiron had taught heroes for centuries, millenia. But somehow, he’d never really thought of them as… real. They were legends, larger than life and somehow removed from it. Even the campers he’d had a measure of contact with, who’d died in the Battle of Manhattan or the Giant War, hadn’t really seemed like people. They were names, faceless heroes lost in the fight against evil.

But Chiron had known them all. Their names, their faces. Their hopes, their fears, their faults. Their greatest strengths. Their most fatal weaknesses. He’d known them all as intimately as Nico knew Jason, had felt each death just as keenly. The thought sent a pang through Nico’s heart. 

To his surprise, he felt tears pricking his eyes. He blinked them back, hands shaking.

“Thanks,” he said, voice cracking, still facing away from the centaur.

Then he fled.

***

When Nico returned to his cabin, Will was waiting for him. He was sprawled across Nico’s bed, still in his infirmary attire - jean shorts and a t-shirt, his crappy plastic dollar store flip flops thrown haphazardly across the floor. He had an arm across his eyes, a tad dramatically.

Chuckling, Nico crossed the room, kicking off his shoes and shoving Will over slightly so he could curl up next to him. Will started a little, removing the arm from his eyes, then laughed and moved over some more, curling his arm around Nico and pulling him farther onto the bed.

“Hey,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Nico’s head.

“Hey,” Nico mumbled in response, pressing his nose into Will’s shirt and inhaling. He smelled like sandalwood and antiseptic. A sure sign of a recent stint in the infirmary.

They stayed like that for a while, Will brushing his fingers gently through Nico’s hair while the younger boy traced patterns into the skin just above the waistline of his shorts. It was an easy rhythm they’d fallen into. Their way of unwinding from the day. Sometimes Will stayed the night (a relatively recent development that still made Nico a little nervous, but it’s not like they did anything), sometimes not, but always he’d come here at the end of the day to curl up with Nico and decompress.

After a while, Will began to talk. Softly, little more than a whisper against Nico’s hair, he recounted the events of his day. The slew of people admitted to the infirmary after a Hermes cabin prank gone wrong. Kayla’s new hair dye, which Will hated because it apparently washed her out dreadfully. Cecil’s daily attempt to get Lou Ellen to go out with him, and her daily refusal.

Nico let himself sink into the familiar cadence of Will’s slight Southern drawl. It was comforting, this sense of normality. This was their routine. Barring any infirmary emergencies, every night, they’d recount their days to each other, from the mundane to the extraordinary. Whatever came to mind. Whatever felt important. Whatever didn’t.

Eventually, Will trailed off. After a few moments of quiet, Nico knew it was his turn. So he started talking about his day - sword practice in the arena, the group of young kids he was training (he felt Will smiling against his hair as Nico talked about them, making him roll his eyes - for some reason, Will thought it was absolutely adorable that he’d started teaching kids, even though he’d made it clear that it was not because he liked them - he just thought camp could use a few less skewered demigods). He talked about teasing Kayla at the archery range, and Clovis falling out of his canoe in the lake.

He talked about anything and everything except what Chiron had asked of him.

Finally, he ran out of things to talk about - or rather, ways to outrun the thing he really needed to talk about. He fell silent, contemplating how to go about it - or how to ignore it altogether.

Unfortunately, Will knew him far too well. “Neeks?” he murmured against Nico’s hair. “You okay?”

Nico nodded, burying his face in Will’s shirt again. “Yeah. Um.” He fell quiet again.

Will let the silence stand for a few moments. Waiting. He pressed a soft kiss against the top of Nico’s head. “Nico?”

Nico sighed. “I had an… offer? Request? I don’t know.” He huffed. “Chiron… he asked me to…” Nico felt a prickling in the back of his nose, and swallowed, hard. He was not going to cry. Not about something as stupid as a cabin. “He asked me to clean out the Zeus cabin.”

Will was quiet for a beat. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Silence reigned for a few seconds. Nico buried his face further into Will’s shirt, soaking up as much sunshine and comfort as he could. Will rolled onto his side, facing Nico, wrapping his other arm around his waist so he could pull Nico farther into him. He pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Nico mumbled.

Will nodded. “Are you… are you going to do it?”

Nico sighed, toying with the hem of Will’s shirt and staring at his collarbone. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I said no.”

Will nuzzled the top of Nico’s head softly. “Do you want to though?” 

Nico shrugged. “I don’t know,” he whispered.

Will was quiet for a moment. Then he said softly, “I think you should.”

Nico blinked in surprise, moving his head to look up at Will. He was staring straight back, sky blue eyes serious and a little worried. “Really?”

Will nodded. “Yeah. I think it might be a good way for you to… you know. Say goodbye. If you want to, that is.”

Tears pricked Nico’s eyes, and again, he blinked them back, irritated with himself. He’d lost so many people. One more shouldn’t affect him this much. He shouldn’t want to cry just at the mention of the loss.

But that was the thing. Grief didn’t… end. You didn’t just hit your grief limit and not feel it anymore. Every loss just carved out another piece of Nico’s heart, just dug deeper into his soul. His mother. His sister. His best friend. Every loss hit him with the force of a thousand pound weight, leaving him just a little emptier. A little more alone.

No, Nico thought. Not alone. He had Percy, and Annabeth. Hazel and Cecil and Piper and Lou Ellen. Austin and Kayla. Will.

Nico nodded. Slowly. Just a little unsure. “Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll… I’ll tell Chiron in the morning.”

“You sure?”

Nico nodded again. “Yeah. You’re right. I need to… say goodbye.”

Will smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to Nico’s forehead. “Okay. Good.”

Nico burrowed further into Will, letting out a sigh. It was good. This would be… good.

That didn’t stop the little tendril of dread from worming its way into his stomach.

***

Nico stopped by the faculty table at the end of breakfast.

“I’ll do it.”

Chiron didn’t ask what he meant. He just smiled.

***

Nico didn’t end up actually starting the cleaning until the next day. He meant to - even made it all the way up to the door, once - but stuff kept coming up. They were short handed in the infirmary, and needed his help. Someone bailed on their sword training duty, so he had to go take over the class. Then, a Demeter girl quite literally tripped into him and somehow sprained her ankle, so he had to carry her to the infirmary.

When dinner rolled around, he realized he’d never even made it through the door.

The next day, he grabbed a piece of toast at breakfast and dropped a kiss on Will’s cheek, telling him he was going to the Zeus cabin before anything else blew up.

Will chuckled. “Want some company?”

It was a casual, lighthearted offer, but Nico knew what he really meant. Need backup?

Nico smiled. “Nah. Finish your breakfast. I’ll see you later.”

Will nodded and smiled back. “Okay. I’ll be in the infirmary if you need me.”

“Are you ever anywhere else?”

Will rolled his eyes and swatted at Nico, who ducked, laughing. “Alright, Death Breath, go get cleaning.”

Nico left the dining pavilion with a bounce in his step.

By the time he’d collected some storage containers and cleaning supplies and returned to the Zeus cabin, however, he was feeling decidedly more sober. He stared up at the imposing marble facade, made all the more intimidating by what he knew waited inside. As far as he knew, no one had been in there since Jason had left camp for California, last summer. It would all be just as he’d left it.

Nico took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

It was exactly how he remembered it - the cold marble, the tiny alcoves around the perimeter of the room, the gigantic, imposing Zeus statue wreathed with the flower crown Thalia had made as a joke. The flowers had long since withered, their brown petals ringing the statue’s feet. Nico stared up into its cold eyes, wondering how the real Zeus felt about Jason’s death. If he even cared.

He doubted it.

Sighing, Nico moved around the statue, toward the back of the room. Here, things seemed a little less cold. Two beds had been pushed into adjacent alcoves - one, neatly aligned with the wall behind it, sheets tucked into tight military corners - the other, haphazardly shoved into its corner, sheets and blankets a tangled mess at the foot of the bed. Each had a desk beside it, the first one clean of any visible debris except a notebook and pen, both at right angles, the other covered in sketchbooks and papers and pens and what looked like Polaroids. Nico’s mouth quirked upward in amusement. It was painfully obvious whose bunk was whose.

He moved toward Thalia’s space first. He’d IMed her yesterday, to ask if she wanted him to clean out her stuff while he was there. She’d told him not to read anything under pain of death, but once he’d promised, she’d accepted the offer. And then, to Nico’s surprise, she’d thanked him. She didn’t say it, but he knew she couldn’t bear to set foot in the cabin again. He couldn’t blame her. It was full of painful memories. He could hardly bear it himself.

He folded her blankets - not the neatest, but then, neither was she - and placed them in a box along with her pillow. He then moved to her desk, grabbing all the writing utensils and dumping them into a sandwich bag. He carefully removed all of the notebooks and sketchbooks, stacking them and placing them in another one of the boxes he’d brought with him, and did his best to sort and stack the myriad of papers littering the desk’s surface without actually taking in any of what was on them.

Finally, he moved to the Polaroids, which he’d left for last. She’d told him not to read anything, but she hadn’t said anything about pictures, and it wasn’t like she was going to have anything really terrible just scattered across her desk for anyone to see.

Besides, Nico had to admit, he was… curious. He’d spent a long time hating Thalia. It was new, feeling sympathy for her. For the first time maybe ever, he was seeing her as a real person, not the nameless organization that had stolen his sister. And he was… well, he was curious about her.

When he saw the first picture, though, he nearly regretted his decision.

It was a picture of her and Jason, taken the first day they’d met since Jason’s disappearance.

Nico could tell from the clothes they were wearing. He knew they’d been up in the mountains, and both of them were in parkas, snow gathering in their hair. He could also tell because Jason looked pretty freaked out, which made sense, considering he’d still had amnesia. He could barely remember his own name, let alone his long lost sister. He looked happy, too, though. Almost… peaceful. Thalia stood next to him, one arm outstretched, presumably holding the camera. She wasn’t smiling, exactly, but her eyes sparkled brightly, her lips turned up ever so slightly at the corners.

Nico swallowed and put the photo down.

The next picture was one of Thalia and Reyna. Nico wasn’t sure when this one had been taken - it could’ve been anytime since their capture in San Juan. They were both grinning widely, though, so he figured it was probably a while after that. Reyna had been pretty pissed about the whole kidnapping thing.

It made him smile, seeing them both together, happy. As much as it had hurt when he’d discovered that Reyna had joined the Hunters, he could understand why. She’d spent so long defining herself by the men in her life - first Jason, then Percy. She was already good friends with Thalia, and she needed something that was entirely her own - no pressure, no expectations. Just unconditional acceptance among friends.

Nico was surprised to discover that he was happy for her. Reyna deserved happiness, and regardless of where she’d found it, Nico was glad that she had.

Smiling, he gathered the remaining pictures up without looking at them, dumping them in their own sandwich bag and placing them in the box. He didn’t want to pry too much, and… to be honest, he was a little afraid of what else he might find. Going through Jason’s stuff was going to be hard enough. He didn’t want to use up all his heartache in one go.

He opened all of Thalia’s drawers, which were surprisingly empty - mostly office supplies, tape and staplers and, inexplicably, an industrial grade three hole punch. Chuckling slightly, he put it all into another box, then put the bag of writing utensils in it and taped all three boxes up. He wrote Thalia in marker on the side of each one, and stacked them by the wall.

Then, taking a deep breath, he turned to Jason’s space.

He just stood there, for a moment. Taking it in. A part of him wanted to leave it like this, exactly as Jason had left it - a kind of shrine to a friend who was never coming back. But he knew Jason would’ve hated that. He would’ve wanted them to keep moving forward. To remember him, but let him go. Hero worship never sat right with him. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, Nico stepped forward and began.

He started with the bed linens. He pulled out the neatly tucked corners, removing and folding each layer at a time - blanket, sheet, fitted sheet. He frowned as he placed them in their box - it wasn’t anywhere near Jason’s military precision. It looked wrong, somehow, seeing something of Jason’s so… haphazard.

But, then, they weren’t his anymore. Not really.

Nothing would ever be his again.

Swallowing, Nico gently placed his pillow in last, mouth quirking up at the spaceships firing across the dark blue fabric. He and Piper had bought him the sheets as a joke, and the rest of the set had been ruined in a Hephaestus cabin mishap, which Jason had been surprisingly upset about. The pillowcase, however, had remained intact, and he’d resolutely refused to give it up, even though it clashed terribly with his pristine white sheets and Roman sparseness.

He’d later told Nico that he loved having the reminder of his friends somewhere close to him.

Nico had rolled his eyes and told him to stop being such a sap.

What he would give for a sappy remark now.

Swallowing, Nico moved to the desk next, following the same routine as with Thalia’s space. Here, however, there was hardly anything out - just a notepad and a pen. Nico decided to leave them there for the moment and go through the drawers, sorting out the different items as he went.

The first drawer had nothing but blank stationary, which was so incredibly Jason that Nico had to laugh out loud. The second was full of notebooks, each with two dates on the cover - a start date and a completion date. They were sorted in chronological order, with the oldest being the farthest to the left, and blank notebooks - presumably intended for the same use - on the right. After a moment, Nico found the last one with writing in it. It was dated August of last year, and was full of notes about the ongoing construction of the temples, as well as little things about Jason’s day - a favorite food of Piper’s he’d discovered, or a silly anecdote about Percy nearly impaling himself on his own sword. Nico laughed when he saw a note about the increasing amount of time Jason had seen him spending with Will, along with Jason’s speculation that the two of them were either currently involved, or about to be.

It ended just before Jason left camp. He’d likely taken the next one with him to California.

There weren’t many from before that - sometimes Nico forgot just how new to Camp Half-Blood Jason had been. He hadn’t even seen one full summer there, really. The first one was from just after the end of the Giant War, and mentioned something about how Jason remembered keeping notebooks when he was a praetor to help keep his thoughts organized. There were a lot of blank notebooks - he’d clearly planned to continue doing it for a while. Maybe forever.

So few of them were filled.

Swallowing, Nico moved the entire drawer, full and empty notebooks alike, into their own box. He left them in order.

He couldn’t bring himself to read them, not right now, but… someone might want to. Someday.

The third drawer was full of office supplies, much more neat than Thalia’s desk. Nico realized, after emptying out the drawer and looking at all of the supplies, that everything was the same brand as Thalia’s - Jason had probably bought her everything she had. It certainly explained the utter disregard she’d seemed to have for them. And the industrial grade three hole punch. 

Nico laughed.

It was surprisingly… okay. He’d expected to have been in tears by now, but somehow, seeing all of this stuff made it easier to forget about the pain of Jason’s loss for a moment, and remember the good stuff instead. The reason his loss was so painful - his goofy quirks and crooked smile, his limitless love for the world around him. Will had been right. This felt… good.

Then Nico reached the last drawer.

It was neat by any normal person’s standards, but surprisingly messy for Jason. It was full of looseleaf paper, rough sketches of cabins and pages of notes on a myriad of subjects. Nico sorted through each page, stacking them on the top of the desk as neatly as he could. There were lots of diagrams of buildings, a few half written letters that had never been finished or sent. Nico found an invitation among them, to a party that he quickly recognized as the end-of-summer fling they’d thrown last year. He wasn’t sure who it was addressed to, but it started out with “Please, please, please just say you’ll come to this and I’ll literally do whatever you want,” so he figured himself was probably a safe bet. He had ended up going, actually. The combined peer pressure of Will, Jason, and Percy, along with a healthy amount of cajoling-slash-threatening from Piper and Annabeth, had finally pushed him to just show up.

It’d been fun, actually. No one had acted weird, and his friends were ridiculously glad he came. They’d roasted marshmallows and traded stories for most of the night, which had ended with him passed out on Will’s shoulder. Not his finest moment, but according to Will, that was the moment he’d fallen irrevocably in love with Nico, so… worth it.

Smiling, Nico kept going, past pages of illegible scrawl and silly little doodles. Then he paused, frowning. There was a sheet with his name at the top. He pulled it out, holding it carefully, like it might disintegrate at the slightest touch. He began to read.

Nico,

I’m not really sure why I’m writing this. I could just say this to your face. But I know how much you hate my mother henning (Yes, I’m admitting that’s what it is. Shut up.), so I guess I’ll just write it down. Maybe I’ll give it to you someday. When I’m about to die. So you can’t kill me.

Kidding. Kind of.

I just saw you and Will. I think you were heading down to the beach or something. You were holding hands, and laughing, and… that’s the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time. And it just made me think.

I know I haven’t known you as long as Percy or Annabeth. I know that, relatively speaking, I’ve barely been there for any of the really bad stuff. But I’d like to think we’ve become pretty good friends over the past few months. I know I’ll never fully understand everything that you’ve been through. You’ve suffered so much… survived things I can barely even begin to imagine. But that just makes me a million times more in awe of everything you’ve accomplished. You have so many people that care about you, Nico. In spite of everything you’ve suffered, every injustice you would’ve had every right to blame the world for, you’ve carved out a place for yourself. You take what life throws at you, and you throw everything you have - your courage, your kindness, your infinite love for the world around you - right back at it. No matter how many things go wrong, you always get up and face the world again. No matter how many times you’re hurt, you still find it in yourself to open up your heart and love again. And I am so, so, so privileged to be able to call you my friend.

I never had a brother, but if I could choose one, I’d choose you, Nico. A thousand times over.

No matter how hard things get, how lonely you feel, I hope that you never, ever forget how many people love you. You have so many people who care about you. Don’t try to go it alone. Let yourself be loved.

You are the greatest gift anyone could ever receive.

I love you, Neeks. More than anything. And I am so, so proud of the person you’ve become.

Never forget how amazing you are. How loved you are.

Yeah, I’m probably never giving this to you.

Jason

A drop of water fell on the paper, and Nico realized he was crying. Tears streamed down his face, sobs wracking his body.

Only Jason would write the sweetest, most heart-felt letter in the world, and have no intention of giving it to the person it was meant for.

I miss you. Oh god, Jason. I miss you.

Nico sank to his knees, cradling the letter to his chest, sobbing. Screaming. Because why did Jason have to die? Who gave him the right to just… poof out of existence? Who gave him the right to sacrifice himself for friends who would rather have him by their side than be safe in a world without him?

What gave him the right to be such a gods damned hero?

But that was the thing. Jason wasn’t a hero, not in the way he’d be remembered. True, he was kind and selfless and brave. Jason was never truly himself unless he was saving the day, no matter how many times he tried to live a different life or how many other ways he tried to define himself. It was what he did. What he knew he’d die doing.

But his true heroism - his true legacy - wasn’t bravery on the battlefield or valor in the face of defeat. It was just… him. His smile. His kind, intelligent eyes. The way the scar on his lip crinkled when he laughed. The warmth and kindness and care he’d showered on the people he loved. The way he’d protected them, at all costs, until the very end.

Jason Grace’s legacy wasn’t a statue or a story. It wasn’t a lesson or a monument. It was the imprints he’d left on the people closest to him. The way he’d pushed Reyna to be kinder. The way he’d helped Piper be more secure. The way he’d taught Nico how it felt to be loved. The kindness that had pushed him to build those monuments to the lesser gods, the bravery that had allowed him to save not the world, but the girl he loved. Those were his true legacies. Those were the things that had allowed him, in his own quiet way, to change the world.

Nico cried for what felt like hours. Longer than he'd ever cried for Jason. Maybe it was being in this room, this place that held so much of him inside it. Maybe it was the letter, the only piece of Jason he had left. Maybe he was just ready. 

Eventually, the tears dried up, but Nico didn’t move. He sat on the floor with his back pressed against the desk, clutching the letter and staring blankly across the room. He felt… empty. He still felt the pain, coiling in his gut, tugging at his heart. He knew, from experience and from instinct, that it would always be there. Grief never went away, not completely. But he wasn’t drowning. In that moment, his head broke the surface of his pain, and he gasped in cool, clean peace. Just for a moment, he could breathe again.

He let out a shaky breath. Realized the drawer handle was digging uncomfortably into his back, shifted so he was leaning on the flat part of the drawer. Swallowed. Took another deep breath.

He wanted to look at the letter again. Read it again, and again, and again, until the words were burned into his memory. But he was afraid if he did that right now, he’d be lost to his pain again.

There would be time for that later. He knew he would read it a thousand times over, would memorize the curve of each letter, the love that radiated from every word. But right now, he had a job to do.

He stood. Inhaled. Exhaled. He folded the note carefully and put it in his back pocket, making sure it didn’t crumple or tear. He moved the rest of the contents of the drawers into their boxes, marking each one Jason in black Sharpie. He stacked them next to Thalia’s, then turned back to the beds.

He just stood there for a moment. Staring at the space that had, this morning, been full of life, had radiated the warmth of the people who lived there. It looked so empty now. So barren and cold. The sight tugged at Nico’s heart, and he clenched his teeth, swallowing back more tears. It felt so… final, somehow. The end of something. There would be no more sleepovers. No more Mythomagic tournaments. No more late night vent sessions. No more Jason.

He was gone. For real. He’d never smile again, never tease again, never hug Nico and tell him he was worth everything in the world and more.

Nico crossed those few paces to Jason’s alcove and pressed his hand to his desk.

“Jason…”

He stood there for a moment, contemplating what to say. There was so much. So many things he should’ve told him. So many moments they should’ve had together. So many things left unsaid.

But in the end, there was only one thing that really mattered. Only one thing Nico desperately wished he’d gotten to say.

“Goodbye.”

Then he turned, gathered the boxes in his arms, and left.

***

He dropped the boxes off at the Big House, where they’d be kept until Thalia came and collected what she wanted. The rest would be stored in the attic, among relics of past quests and heroes. It was strange to think of Jason’s bedsheets taking up residence alongside ancient trophies and magical artifacts, but no one had the heart to throw them out. And with no next of kin besides Thalia… there wasn’t really anywhere else for his things to go. 

Yet, somehow, it was fitting. Jason deserved to be memorialized, but it wouldn’t be through medals or measures of achievement - it’d be through his personal items. The things that made him Jason.

Nico rather liked the idea.

It was around one in the afternoon by the time he was free, so he headed down to the dining pavilion for lunch, grabbing an extra sandwich for Will since Nico just knew he hadn’t eaten anything. He waved hello to Kayla, who must’ve been on her break, and Cecil, then started toward the infirmary. He felt strangely light. A little detached, but… not the awful, waking nightmare kind that he’d become accustomed to. Just a strange, sad sort of peace. The pain had solidified into a heaviness in the pit of his stomach that, though it weighed him down, also grounded him. Nico knew he would need time before he could feel totally okay again - and perhaps he never really would. But pain was an old friend, and the quiet, manageable ache he felt now was familiar. Almost comforting.

This pain wouldn’t drown him. It would just remind him, in the quiet moments, of the people he loved that he couldn’t see. It would help him remember them.

Somehow, Nico didn’t mind that.

Nico shook himself out of his reverie as he reached the door of the infirmary. Pushing it open with one shoulder, he carefully maneuvered past the cart of medical supplies left nearly blocking the entrance, nudging it gently with his hip so he didn’t break the glass syringes or drop the sandwiches.

“Will?” he called, looking around. The room was nearly empty, save a few beds at the back where more seriously hurt campers were recuperating. Nico tiptoed past them, since quite a few of them were asleep, and entered the office, where Will could often be found doing the endless mounds of paperwork that his siblings had a tendency to skip out on. But he wasn’t there, either. Frowning, Nico walked back through the main room and down the hall that led to the storage cupboards and other back rooms, poking his head through each door to see if Will was there. “Will?”

Nico finally found him in a storage closet near the back. He was sitting on the floor, medical supplies spread in a circle around him, carefully placing things in boxes. Nico knocked on the doorframe, and Will jumped, then smiled when he saw who it was. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Nico said, entering the room and handing Will a sandwich, which he accepted with a smile and a thank you. “What are you doing?”

Will glanced down at the mess around him. “Shortin,” he said, mouth already full of sandwich.

“Sorting?” Nico asked, laughing a little.

Will swallowed and laughed too. “Yeah. New shipment, and I had nothing better to do, so…” he shrugged.

Nico grinned. “Sure you didn’t just want to relive some memories?”

Will blinked at him for a moment, confused. Then, registering the particular shade of mischief on Nico’s face, his cheeks flamed. “Shut up. You know, this room isn’t actually meant for making out. It’s literally called a storage closet. It’s for storage.”

“It’s dark and it has a door. Not sure what they were expecting to happen.” Nico shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich. Will snorted, but didn’t say anything else. They sat in silence for a few moments, munching on their lunches. When they’d both finished, Will finally spoke.

“So… how was it?”

Nico shrugged again, shrinking in on himself a little. No matter how comfortable he got with Will, it was always difficult to open up at first. He suspected it always would be. Too many years alone, not trusting anyone. It was a hard habit to unlearn.

“It was… okay,” he said slowly. Will just nodded, waiting for him to continue. “It was actually pretty easy, at first. It made me feel better to see his stuff. Like he was there with me.”

Will smiled. “Yeah. It was the same for me with Lee.”

Nico smiled back, a little weakly. He forgot, sometimes, that Will knew what it felt like to lose someone. Had been through this himself. It was part of the reason why it was easier to talk to him about this stuff. 

“So… what happened?”

Nico blinked at him. “Huh?”

“You said at first. What happened?”

“Oh. Yeah. Well…” Nico looked down at his hands for a moment, thinking. Weighing. Finally, he made a choice.

He shifted to the side and pulled the letter from his pocket, unfolding it and smoothing it against his knee. He looked down at it for a moment, rubbing the paper between his fingers. It would be a big deal, showing this to Will. The words had already burrowed their way into Nico’s heart, become part of his grief and pain and love for Jason. Showing it to someone else would be like letting them see inside his head.

After a moment’s hesitation, Nico handed it to Will.

He read it in silence, eyes scanning the words, taking in their meaning. It didn’t take him long. When he was done, he looked up at Nico, his face mirroring what Nico felt. “Nico…”

Nico looked down at his hands, blinking rapidly. “Yeah. I know. I just…” He swiped a tear that had escaped, his other hand clenching into a fist. “I can’t believe he wasn’t even going to give it to me. He’s…” Nico nearly choked, remembering he could no longer use the present tense. “He was such an idiot.”

Will set the letter aside and opened his arms, and Nico moved to sit between his legs, bringing his knees up to his chest and leaning his cheek against Will’s shoulder. Will’s arms fastened around Nico’s shoulders, pressing their bodies close together. He dropped a kiss onto the top of Nico’s head, one hand stroking the smaller boy’s hair, and Nico burrowed a little further into him, pressing his face into the side of Will’s neck. He hadn’t thought he had any tears left, but they came anyway. Not big and wracking like before, but quiet and tired. The kind you cry when you just don’t have much left.

The tears dried up quickly, but they stayed there afterward anyways, tangled together. They didn’t worry about being found, or being missed. There was no one around, and the infirmary was quiet for once. Nico soaked up the warmth of his boyfriend’s presence, let it soothe the hurt in his heart. It didn’t fix anything, but gods did it help.

Sometime later, they finally moved, standing and stretching their legs. Nico refolded the letter and slipped it carefully back into his pocket, then helped Will sort the rest of the supplies, storing them in their proper places on the shelves. When they had finished, Will twined his fingers through Nico’s and led him out of the room, back down the hallway into the main area. He asked Kayla, who was back from her break, to look after things for a while, then tugged Nico out the door and across the grass, toward the beach.

Nico smiled. He knew where they were going.

They took their shoes off and walked along the beach for a while, hand in hand. They eventually stopped at a stretch of sand obscured from the rest of camp by an outcropping of rocks. It looked exactly like the rest of the shore, but it was a special place to them - where Nico had first confided in Will when the older boy had found him after a nightmare, and later, where they’d had their first date. They came here to be alone sometimes, after a long day. This definitely qualified.

Will sat down and held out an arm, and Nico sat next to him, burrowing into his side and wrapping an arm around Will’s waist. He inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of the Sound and the boy next to him. It felt cleansing, somehow, to sit here and stare at that endless expanse of water and sky, to breathe the salt and sandalwood scent of the air. Just for a moment, the world narrowed to just them, Nico and Will and the Sound and the sky. Just for a moment, nothing else existed, nothing else mattered. Not wars, not heroes, not death. Just two boys and a beach.

It was the calmest Nico had felt in a long time.

A wave crashed on the sand, just brushing Nico’s toes. The water was cold, but he welcomed the sensation. It grounded him there, in that moment. His demons felt miles away.

He looked up at Will, who looked equally at peace. His sky blue eyes were unfocused, staring off into the distance like they could see beyond the Sound, beyond the horizon, beyond the sky. Like he was looking straight into the next life, and he liked what he saw.

Nico stretched up and kissed his cheek. Will blinked back to the present, then turned and smiled at him. He kissed him back, on the lips, short and sweet and lovely just like their first had been. They grinned at each other, then snuggled back together, limbs folded in and heartbeats synced.

Nothing was perfect. There were still too many empty places in Nico’s heart. Too many things and people that he’d lost, that he still felt all too keenly.

But right now, he was safe. Right now, he was loved. Right now, he wasn’t alone.

And it was enough.