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“Shizun, this disciple can explain,” Luo Binghe said quietly, no longer expecting any lenience.
The demonic mark on his forehead was a clear sign of his nature. Shizun was looking at him with cold contempt, showing how repulsed he was to be in the same space as Luo Binghe.
“Silence!” shizun yelled and suddenly went quiet, breathing heavily. Luo Binghe felt tears starting to form in his eyes. Was he not allowed to so much as defend himself? Shizun found out who he was and immediately believed him guilty? What about his words that demons were no worse than people? Had shizun lied back then?
Shizun stared into space, expressionless, the way he sometimes did when he believed no one was watching him. He spent a few heartbeats standing like that, then smiled bitterly and waved his hand.
“Ah, screw it all!...”
Luo Binghe froze in shock: shizun never used such language. The surprises weren’t over for today, however: shizun approached and hugged Luo Binghe, pressing him close.
“Binghe, listen carefully. You’re a good person, your demonic nature doesn’t change that. I’ve always believed in you, always been rooting for you. I know you’re incredible… and you have a long, wonderful life ahead of you. Don’t disappoint me, all right?”
Still afraid to believe, Luo Binghe hugged shizun back. Shizun huffed quietly into his ear, then suddenly went limp.
The Endless Abyss closed behind their backs. The adepts at the clearing started moaning and coming back to their senses. Someone’s cries could be heard from afar, but Luo Binghe barely noticed anything around himself. His whole mind was overtaken by one thought, horrible and impossible.
Shizun wasn’t breathing.
The poison, it must have been the damn poison!.. Luo Binghe desperately poured his qi into shizun’s body, hoping it would work. Liu-shishu came every month to cleanse shizun’s meridians, so it must have been necessary, it must have helped!.. And yet the energy flew through shizun’s body, refusing to stay in.
Luo Binghe didn’t realise that he’d started sobbing. It couldn’t be, it simply couldn’t! Shizun was fine, he’d just stood, breathed, talked! Whimpering in horror, Luo Binghe lowered himself to the ground, still afraid to release shizun’s breathless body. Shizun’s expression was still peaceful, it seemed that in a moment his lips would form a smile. Luo Binghe lightly shook shizun by the shoulder, trying to get him to recover his senses.
“Shizun, please. Shizun… shizun, can you hear me? Wake up.”
His voice turned squeaky at the last phrase. Luo Binghe suddenly noticed that the blood from his own wounds had dirtied shizun’s clothes, a few drops had even fallen on his forehead. He tried to wipe the dirt off shizun’s face with shaking hands, but only smeared it more and froze in terror, afraid of making it worse. Who knew, perhaps his dirty demonic blood could harm shizun?
The voices around them turned louder, but Luo Binghe wasn’t listening to them. Someone said shizun’s name; Luo Binghe raised his eyes and saw the sect leader’s grief-stricken face in front of him.
Then he felt a sharp sword pierce his heart.
“No”
“No”
“I don’t want it”
“Not like that”
“No”
Luo Binghe was sitting in the clearing again, clutching shizun’s body in his arms. The blood hadn’t dirtied his perfect face yet. Not knowing what was going on, Luo Binghe looked around and saw the silhouettes of approaching cultivators through his tears.
He wanted to move, but was too afraid of dirtying shizun with his blood again.
This time the sword cut his head off.
“Not like this”
“Please no”
Luo Binghe didn’t know how many times he’d come back to his senses at the same clearing and how many times he’d died. His stupour slowly passed, and Luo Binghe was able to think again – not too fast, but enough to realise what was going on.
People were looking for shizun and him. Yue-shibo came to help and saw a demon holding shizun’s dead body. A demon with a mark burning on his forehead. A demon covered in blood.
Luo Binghe.
He couldn’t stay at the clearing. Waking up again, Luo Binghe tried to grope for Zhengyang, but only cut his hand on the shards. Which meant he couldn’t fly. Putting shizun’s body on his back, Luo Binghe tried to walk away. His legs were shaking, but he stubbornly took step after step. He needed… he needed to survive. To understand what had happened. To save shizun.
Luo Binghe was stubbornly looking at the ground, afraid of tripping over, but his vision was blurry from tears, blood and weakness. He only saw a silver flash – and the fountain of blood splatter that followed.
Losing a leg was incredibly painful. Until this day Luo Binghe hadn’t even suspected that a human could experience such pain and survive. Although he wasn’t a human, was he?..
A strike of the sword ended his suffering.
“No”
The next attempt to leave was no more successful than the first one. And the following one. And the one after that. And another one. And another.
Realising that this time he wouldn’t be able to hide from the chase either, Luo Binghe sat on the ground, carefully put shizun’s head in his lap. He needed to think.
The cultivators saw a demon. They likely believed he’d killed shizun, perhaps even had been in cahoots with the bastards who’d organised the attack on the Immortal Alliance Conference. Luo Binghe suppressed his anger with an effort: one day he’d get to the ice wretch and make him eat his own tongue!.. But first he needed to survive this endless day.
The stomping was already approaching. Luo Binghe tried to straighten his back.
“Yue-shibo, please, mercy! I…”
He had no time to finish.
“No”
“Not like that”
What exactly had gone wrong? Had Yue-shibo gone mad from grief? Or… had he thought Luo Binghe the perpetrator of the crime? He probably looked very suspicious… he needed to rectify that. Luo Binghe carefully put shizun on the grass, forced himself to step away from the body, managed to wipe the blood off his hands and knelt.
“Yue-shibo, this disciple begs you for a chance to explain.”
Only an enormous effort of will allowed Luo Binghe to say it without a tremor in his voice. The blade touched his neck but stopped at the last moment.
“Speak”.
Now he could let more emotions into his voice, especially since they were sincere and not fake in the slightest. The sect leader was listening to Luo Binghe’s words, looking at him heavily, then lowered his eyelids.
“I have to admit, your story seems very dubious. I find it hard to believe.”
Luo Binghe gulped. He didn’t know what power allowed him to go back to the past over and over, but he hoped he’d get a chance to use it again. As many times as he needed to find better words.
“Yet I would loathe to kill an innocent by mistake,” the sect leader continued suddenly. Luo Binghe raised his head in disbelief, and the blade almost cut his artery open; he immediately lowered his gaze again. “This Cangqiong disciple, Luo Binghe, shall stay in prison for now, until the circumstances are clarified.”
“Thanking shibo for his generosity,” Luo Binghe rasped. What else could he say?
He wasn’t allowed to treat the wound on his neck. Luo Binghe let himself be tied with an immortal binding cable and left with Cangqiong cultivators. His injuries were supposed to heal before the next day’s dusk, why think of them now?.. He glanced at shizun’s body for the last time and clenched his teeth, seeing Yue Qingyuan hold it in his embrace.
No matter. Luo Binghe would find a way to fix everything.
He spent a long time in prison. Long enough to miss shizun’s funeral. It was still hard to realise what was happening: sometimes he felt like the door of his cell would open any moment, and shizun would step inside, smile at him, say everything had been cleared up, pat Binghe’s head, tell him “Poor thing, you’ve been through a lot”. Sometimes he dreamt of it; it was always excruciatingly painful to wake up after those dreams.
Finally the sect leader released Luo Binghe from the cell and even apologised. He led Luo Binghe to Qingjing himself, assured him several times that he’d be allowed to stay in the sect and wouldn’t be chased away. Luo Binghe listened to him disinterestedly: he loved Qingjing, but without shizun the peak had become strange and unwanted.
Ning Yingying met Luo Binghe with tears and hugs, then led him to the memorial tablets with barely any prodding. Shizun’s body was, of course, in the shrine where ordinary disciples weren’t allowed. Luo Binghe was looking at the carved characters, feeling the dull ache in his heart slowly being replaced with… something else. Something he couldn’t name yet, but was grasping at desperately.
He wouldn’t allow it to end like this.
Looking for the ice demon and for the way to revive the dead at the same time was hard, but Luo Binghe didn’t care. He threw himself into work, spending days and nights at Qingjing peak library, then begged the sect leader for a permit to Qiancao and dug through all records there. And at Qiongding. And even at Baizhan – Liu-shishu hummed, shook his head but let him in without questions, only suggested to hunt together several times.
“You’re not the only one who misses him.”
Luo Binghe only scrunched his nose in annoyance. What did Liu-shishu understand? None of them understood. Luo Binghe wasn’t missing him. Luo Binghe refused to come to terms with the injustice. Luo Binghe was pursuing his goal to the bitter end.
Eventually the ice demon proved easier to find. Luo Binghe delighted in torturing him before his death, killed his pathetic sycophant right in front of him – who cared if Shang Qinghua had been one of the twelve peak lords! If he hadn’t helped organise the attack on the Immortal Alliance Conference, shizun would still be alive!
After the ice demon’s death his domain became Luo Binghe’s. And there he finally found what he’d been looking for.
The Holy Mausoleum. The place that could revive the dead.
But he’d need the body to do that.
Luo Binghe came back to Cangqiong quietly, like a thief. Thankfully, it wasn’t too hard to sneak inside the shrine which had become the final resting place of the peak lords. If he was caught on the way there, Luo Binghe would easily be able to explain his intentions: he wanted to visit shizun. If he was caught on the way back, carrying shizun’s body… Luo Binghe tried not to think of it. He’d come up with something.
He didn’t have to. No one saw Luo Binghe as he was gently carrying the decayed body in qin-coloured clothes. Of course, later someone would notice shizun’s absence, but they’d hardly look for him in the ice demons’ lands.
Luo Binghe forgot how much time it had taken to prepare. Months. Years. The Holy Mausoleum was full of danger, and Luo Binghe needed to bring shizun’s body there undamaged. He needed to become stronger, to learn everything of what was waiting for him. He couldn’t take risks.
He couldn’t wait any longer. Every day was poisoning his soul like acid. Luo Binghe started to think he was going mad. He’d forgotten shizun’s smile, his voice, his beautiful face. A bit longer – and he would forget shizun altogether.
He couldn’t make any more delays.
He barely managed to get through the Mausoleum – but he did. Luo Binghe respectfully placed the skeleton into a sarcophagus and stepped away, holding his breath. Now. Just a bit longer. Shizun would return, and Binghe… Binghe…
The skeleton kept lying in the sarcophagus, motionless. Luo Binghe looked around in confusion and suddenly saw the murals. He didn’t know which spells had been used on them, but the images were as bright and clear as if they’d just been finished.
He needed to put a fresh body into the sarcophagus. Or at least a preserved one.
Everything had been in vain.
Luo Binghe left the hall, unable to see anything. He could only remember the years of searching, suffering, efforts… losses. Pain. Anguish.
The years without shizun.
Luo Binghe didn’t even have time to understand how he died. There were too many dangers in the Holy Mausoleum, and he wasn’t looking where he was going.
“No”
“No way”
“I won’t be treated like this”
Luo Binghe came back to his senses in the clearing. Shizun’s body was still warm in his arms. Luo Binghe looked at it greedily, trying to memorise every little trait of the beloved face.
This time he wouldn’t make the same mistake.
He needed to bring a preserved body into the Mausoleum. Luo Binghe would preserve shizun no matter what it cost.
He tried to stand up and swayed on his feet. Right, he’d been injured… and hadn’t had time to fully master his demonic abilities yet. Feeling weak and useless was unusual. Luo Binghe clenched his teeth and suppressed his anger with an effort.
He wouldn’t be able to just leave. He had no sword to fly on. He only had one option left.
Luo Binghe pressed shizun’s body close and jumped into the Endless Abyss. He was a Heavenly Demon. He could survive the flight – and the fall – without consequences.
He even managed to twist in the air to cushion shizun’s body with his own.
Luo Binghe didn’t believe the Endless Abyss to be in any way dangerous to him. He could heal his wounds in less than a heartbeat. He could destroy his opponents with a wave of demonic energy. He was invulnerable.
He only got distracted for a moment: the Endless Abyss had no sun, and thus Luo Binghe would not be able to live off inedia, which meant he had to look for food and water. Good thing the poisonous berries growing abundantly around here couldn’t harm him and he could eat them easily, but an adult man – although now he was probably still an adolescent – could not survive on berries alone.
When he came back to the hidden cave, a needle-tooth ratcat was chewing shizun’s arm off.
Luo Binghe destroyed the beast and fell on his knees next to shizun. Perhaps he could still fix it. He could feed his blood to shizun, right?.. That was supposed to work. That had to work.
Either Luo Binghe had pressed too hard, or the heavenly demon blood only worked on the living, but shizun’s flesh started rotting under his fingers. Luo Binghe screamed in anger and despair.
It wasn’t supposed to end like this!
He had no sword on him – but he had the ratcat’s body. Luo Binghe cut his throat with a sharp incisor and kept sitting there, not letting his wound heal.
Previously he’d gotten to the past when he’d died, right?
“This time it’ll work out”
He came back to his senses at the clearing. Carefully examined shizun’s body – it was whole, without any trace of decay, still warm. Put it on his shoulder, grabbed Xiuya from the ground – a weapon would come in handy in the Abyss. Then he jumped.
Luo Binghe didn’t know how many times he'd had to start over. He’d lost count a long time ago. Surviving in the Abyss would be hard enough on his own, and he had to keep shizun’s body close at all times, pour large amounts of qi into it, protect it from poisonous vapors that weren’t harmful to Luo Binghe himself… He had had to learn to kill himself as quickly and as painlessly as possible – Luo Binghe wasn’t afraid of pain, he’d welcome it as punishment for his ineptitude, but it was easier to come back to his senses after another revival if he hadn’t suffered too much.
Luo Binghe learnt of the demonic sword almost accidentally and didn’t want to go to it at first, but the chance to get anywhere he wished was too enticing. A moment – and Luo Binghe would be in the heart of the Mausoleum. His suffering would finally be over.
“Wait a bit, shizun,” Luo Binghe said tenderly, carressing the cold white cheek. “Just a little longer.”
Shizun didn’t reply, of course, but Luo Binghe didn’t expect him to. He’d acquired a habit of talking to the body – there were no other conversation partners here. Sometimes he even allowed himself to kiss shizun’s lips, warm them with his breath – shizun wouldn’t be able to stop him anyway. And if he got angry when he came back… well, Luo Binghe would accept any punishment without arguments or complaints.
Getting to the demonic sword – Xinmo – wasn’t easy, but Luo Binghe wasn’t afraid of hardships. He knew what he wanted and was willing to destroy any obstacles. Anything for shizun. Even suppressing the ancient artifact barely took any time at all: what could the half-sentient piece of metal do in the face of Luo Binghe’s motivation?
Feeling his heart beating in his throat, Luo Binghe opened a portal – first to the demonic realm. The ice bastard stared at him from the throne in disbelief, and Luo Binghe frowned perplexedly before remembering that in this attempt he still hadn’t had the time to get revenge.
Well. It was a great chance to test his new weapon.
Having made sure the sword worked properly, Luo Binghe immediately went to the Mausoleum. He could hear his own heartbeat. Having examined shizun’s body for traces of decay and found none, Luo Binghe put it into the sarcophagus and squeezed his eyes shut.
Please, please, let it work.
Even the sound of shizun’s breathing seemed deafening in the quiet of the empty hall.
Luo Binghe watched as the colour returned to shizun’s cheeks, watched shizun's chest raise and fall, and wept from happiness. It worked! He did it! Shizun would come back any moment now, smile, praise him, thank him, and Luo Binghe would tell him how much he’d missed him, how much he’d been through, how much he was willing to do…
Shizun opened his eyes, saw Luo Binghe and jerked away with a grimace of disgust. Xiuya pierced Luo Binghe’s heart; having quickly closed the wound, Luo Binghe raised his hands palms-up.
“Shizun, it’s me.”
Fool, he should have thought that shizun might not recognise him! Luo Binghe had grown up and changed; it had been only a moment for shizun, but the world around them hadn’t stopped with his death.
“Demon,” shizun hissed, clutching Xiuya’s handle. Luo Binghe shook his head.
“This unworthy disciple apologises for scaring shizun. He should have thought… this disciple will explain, but later, when we’re both safe.”
After all, it would be stupid to revive shizun only to let him die in the Mausoleum, right?
Luo Binghe quickly transported them to Qingjing. The demonic realm must have been in turmoil after the ice bastard’s death, and the view of the peak would help shizun calm down.
“Shizun, it’s me. Luo Binghe. I… swear I can explain. It’s just that… it’s been a few years after the Immortal Alliance Conference, I… don’t know how many exactly.”
“Luo Binghe?” shizun repeated slowly, then squinted to examine his face. “You do resemble… well, explain to me why I shouldn’t kill you where you stand, little beast.”
Luo Binghe had no time to answer: both of them were pressed to the ground by someone else’s qi. The sect leader stepped on the Qingjing peak clearing in full glory of his power… then stumbled, looking at shizun.
“Xiao Jiu?”
“Don’t call me that!” shizun hissed, and Yue-shibo’s face lit in happiness. None of them so much as glanced at Luo Binghe; someone’s palm lay on Luo Binghe’s shoulder and pulled. Luo Binghe obediently allowed himself to be taken away.
Shizun didn’t remember him.
Shizun looked at him in disgust, chased him away, unwilling to listen. Just like in the past, when he’d tested Luo Binghe’s endurance with beatings and hard work. But… shizun had deemed him worthy, right? Had made him a personal guidebook. Allowed him into his house. Distinguished him, taught him, patted his head, praised him, smiled to him.
Now shizun smiled only to Ning Yingying. He looked at the sect leader with contempt, at Liu-shishu with cold anger, at Luo Binghe with loathing. No matter what Luo Binghe did, how much he tried, he couldn’t change shizun’s attitude.
The strangest thing was that everyone – everyone who wasn’t shizun, everyone whose opinions didn’t matter – now lauded Luo Binghe as a hero. The sect leader spent a long time thanking him, Liu-shishu said nothing, but clapped his shoulder approvingly and smiled, even Ming Fan apologised and admitted he’d been wrong to believe Luo Binghe a useless moron. Luo Binghe listened to it with appropriate polite shyness, but he felt nothing. He would kill all those people without a moment’s hesitation if it allowed him to get back into shizun’s good graces.
Shizun chased him away from the bamboo hut, and Luo Binghe was standing at the clearing, uncertain of what to do and how to beg for forgiveness. That was how Liu-shishu found him.
“Let’s go. There’s a new assignment, an interesting monster.”
Luo Binghe could bet that he’d killed much more interesting monsters in his years of wandering and searching, but… what if shizun would like the gift? Liu-shishu kept bringing him tropheys, and shizun had begun accepting them sometimes.
Liu-shishu was smarter than Luo Binghe had given him credit for: Luo Binghe did feel easier after a fight, as if he’d just been waiting for a chance to relieve his tension by tearing something alive into pieces. Liu-shishu nodded approvingly after the hunt and even allowed Luo Binghe to take a gulp from his flask. The sweet, almost sugary fruit wine tasted surprisingly nice; Luo Binghe had forgotten the last time he’d drunk something like this. He hadn’t allowed himself any distractions, reluctant to waste his time while shizun was lying there dead… but now he had nowhere to rush.
Luo Binghe regretfully gave the flask back, but Liu-shishu just waved his hand.
“Keep it. You’ve earned it.”
Luo Binghe was clutching the unexpected gift in bafflement. Come to think of it, when was the last time someone had done something like this for him? Treated him with even fleeting kindness? Probably back before the Abyss… shizun.
Liu Qingge gazed at him with quiet understanding, and looking into his eyes, Luo Binghe was finally able to admit the obvious.
“I made a mistake. Shizun came back wrong.”
“When did you get to Qingjing?” Liu Qingge asked. Luo Binghe named the year without thinking, and Liu Qingge shook his head.
“Then you were supposed to know… perhaps you don’t remember. Shen Qingqiu changed a lot after his qi deviation. He seemed to have lost his memory… and you must have restored it. So he came back right… perhaps too much.”
Liu Qingge also missed the previous shizun, Luo Binghe realised suddenly. There was nothing wrong with Luo Binghe – shizun had changed a lot.
He needed to know why.
Liu Qingge allowed Luo Binghe to stay at Baizhan until shizun relented. Looking at the ceiling of the dormitory, Luo Binghe listened to other adepts’ snoring and pondered.
He’d started at the wrong place. Reviving shizun was important, but he’d forgotten how it had begun.
Why had shizun died?
He had to examine him. To make sure there was no disease or… anything strange left in his body. Of course, shizun wouldn’t let Luo Binghe close, so he needed to use Ning Yingying to slip a few drops of his blood into shizun’s food.
That was enough.
Shizun was lying in deep slumber, and Luo Binghe was drawing half-forgotten arrays on his body. Good thing he’d spent so much time on Qiancao – now Luo Binghe knew exactly how to find a hidden disease. Touching shizun’s naked body was natural, even pleasant – shizun was breathing now, his skin was pink and warm, and Luo Binghe could pretend shizun would wake up at any moment and smile at him.
The healing arrays shone, and Luo Binghe frowned. Something was wrong. There were traces of… a second soul in shizun’s body? Nothing else seemed strange – except for Without-a-Cure, so Luo Binghe used the chance to heal it.
Well, it wasn’t the body, but the soul. The next night Luo Binghe slipped into shizun’s mind, spent a long time going through his memories – shizun turned out to have been an orphan, a street child. He had so much in common with Binghe… Having memorised the faces of his tormentors, Luo Binghe regretfully went deeper. Mengmo had told him of this, but not shown. Now Luo Binghe seemed to walk on an ocean’s bottom by touch, looking for unknown monsters.
And a monster rose to meet him.
Luo Binghe didn’t know what it was. It looked like a shining mirror, speaking with a strange voice.
[Greetings, user!]
[Error! An unsanctioned hacking attempt!]
[Error! Error! Error!]
The mirror shone red, and Luo Binghe grabbed it, pulling it from shizun’s mind into the dream world. The space around him seemed to blur and flash, a high-pitched sound attacked Luo Binghe’s ears, but he kept throwing wave after wave of his demonic power at the unknown beast, putting barrier after barrier around it, until it surrendered.
[The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System is happy to serve the user!]
Luo Binghe didn’t know what a ‘system’ was. The beast tried to wriggle out, used a lot of strange words, but Luo Binghe had extracted the crucial thing out of it: this creature had been the one to kill shizun. Shizun had been supposed to kick Luo Binghe into the Endless Abyss for Luo Binghe to find the demonic sword there, but shizun had refused. He’d preferred to die in order to protect his stupid, useless, unworthy disciple.
“Why are you doing it?” Luo Binghe growled, barely suppressing his anger. The beast squeaked something about ‘plot’, ‘tropes’, ‘the hero’s journey’, called shizun ‘a forbearer of promises, more prosperous than Ou’ and ‘unthinking uncle unable to reach good’*. Luo Binghe slashed it with another wave of energy – not too strongly, just to keep it scared.
“Send me back. Not to the moment when shizun died, earlier. You’re the one who arranged it all, aren’t you?”
[The user’s request is impossible to fulfil! The laws of this world do not allow time travel; the user has already spent most of the energy!]
Luo Binghe waited for the thing to go quiet and imagined choking it – slowly and relentlessly. The space around him turned red again. Luo Binghe kept holding until his mind world started fading, and only then allowed his grip to relax.
“Think again.”
[The user will have to provide the System with the necessary energy sources]
“What exactly do you need?”
[The user’s demonic sword will do]
The sword? Luo Binghe would give away a hundred, a thousand swords, even the whole Wangjian peak! He threw Xinmo at the mirror without hesitation; the sword disappeared, as if breaking down into sparks.
[User, the System still needs more power! Another source of energy is required!]
Luo Binghe squinted. He didn’t have any artifacts on him, and he didn’t want to leave the strange beast unattended. But come to think of it… They were in the dream realm, so…
Mengmo was screaming and struggling, cursing Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe had to shut him up with one attack; thankfully, the moment Mengmo started dying, the ‘System’ ate him.
[The energy is sufficient now!]
[Warning: after the task is fulfilled, all of the System’s resources will be spent, and the System will become unavailable! The ‘Protagonist Halo’ effect will be lost! Does the user wish to continue?]
“I do.”
[The user will no longer be able to time-travel. The user will not be able to receive the unique artifact ‘Xinmo’ again. Is the user certain of his choice?]
Luo Binghe snorted.
“You think I’m doing it for artifacts? I just want to see shizun’s smile again. This will be enough.”
The world around him blurred – for the last time.
Shizun was standing in front of him – alive and healthy. Taller than Luo Binghe remembered him – no, Luo Binghe just hadn’t had the time to grow up yet.
“Binghe, listen carefu…”
The ‘System’ claimed it would be no more, which meant it wouldn’t be able to kill shizun – but Luo Binghe was unwilling to take any risks. Good thing shizun was standing so closely to him: Luo Binghe hastily kissed him to prevent him from saying anything else. Shizun’s eyes rounded in surprise, and Luo Binghe barely forced himself to break apart from him.
“Shizun, don’t worry about me. It’s going to be all right. I’ll be back.”
For the first time he jumped into the Abyss on his own, leaving shizun behind.
Fighting in an adolescent’s body was harder than Luo Binghe had been used to, but easier than he remembered – now that he didn’t have to spend a giant share of his power to sustain shizun’s corpse. After finishing the painfully familiar path, Luo Binghe stopped at a loss: he didn’t know how to get out of the Abyss without the demonic sword.
It took him a lot of time to find an exit. One portal was guided by a winged serpent with scales so bright it was painful to look at them. Luo Binghe tried to kill it, but his hand shook from fatigue at the last moment, and the talisman that was supposed to fly into the beast’s throat merely slid off its armour. Luo Binghe barely managed to escape. The second portal led to the mouth of a volcano. The third one – to the bottom of the ocean. The fourth one was too far away, Luo Binghe was unable to get across the chasm and climb a steep mountain without a sword. Fortune only smiled upon him on the fifth try, and Luo Binghe fell out of the Abyss into the demonic realm.
Having habitually killed the ice bastard, Luo Binghe conquered his domain and cleaned himself up. He found a few trophey swords in the treasury and rushed to Cangqiong, sparing no qi.
He reached Qingjing peak at night. All things in his room were at their places, not a single speck of dust on them, and Luo Binghe considered it a good sign. He changed into the usual white of a Qingjing peak disciple and slipped into the kitchen. He didn’t want to wake shizun up – he’d rather make a surprise for him. Bring him breakfast in the morning, see his clueless smile, kiss him… and never let shizun out of his arms again.
By the moment Luo Binghe finished his cooking, the dawn had already broken outside. Holding a tray, Binghe quietly went to shizun’s bedroom, opened the door and froze on the doorstep.
Shizun was sleeping in his bed. And he wasn’t alone.
Binghe couldn’t see much from his place, but he clearly saw someone’s head laying on shizun’s shoulder, saw shizun clutching the unknown person in his arms, tenderly but firmly, unwilling to let him – or her – go even in his sleep.
So what, shizun wasn’t waiting for him? While Binghe had been suffering in the Abyss, shizun… had found someone?
His anger rose like a dark wave, but Luo Binghe had no time to do anything: a silver flash shone before his eyes. Liu Qingge was standing in front of him, clutching Chengluan’s handle; his undershirt was a little loose, and Luo Binghe clearly saw a red mark of a kiss on his shoulder.
Seeing the person in front of him, Liu Qingge frowned perplexedly and lowered his sword.
“You?..”
“Binghe?” shizun rasped. Luo Binghe shuddered in surprise, the tray tilted, cups and plates moved to the side, and hot tea spilt on Luo Binghe’s hand. Shizun looked at that and shook his head. “Binghe, wait outside, all right? I’ll clean up and come out.”
Luo Binghe nodded awkwardly and left, dead-beat. Having exited the room, he took a look at the tray and realised the breakfast had been hopelessly ruined: the food had mixed, moved and looked ugly. Unworthy of shizun. There were still some remains in the kitchen, yet Luo Binghe froze in uncertainty: should he make the table for two? But shizun would likely want to share with Liu Qingge, whom Luo Binghe had no intention to feed. He’d thought of Liu Qingge… maybe not as a friend, but as someone able to understand him, and Liu Qingge had backstabbed him in the most despicable way possible! He’d stolen Luo Binghe’s lover while Luo Binghe had been away!
Sounds of shizun’s laughter and a conversation came from the room – too quiet for Luo Binghe to distinguish the words. Then Liu Qingge, fully clothes, stepped out the door, curtly nodded to Luo Binghe and left the bamboo hut. Shizun walked him to the doorstep, waved to him with a smile and finally turned around to see Luo Binghe.
“You’re early… I thought you wouldn’t return for another year, at least.”
A hole seemed to have opened in his chest. So what, shizun hadn’t expected him? Hadn’t missed him? Shizun was happy, tumbling in bed with another, while Luo Binghe had been suffering in the Endless Abyss for his sake?!
Unsuspecting of his thoughts, shizun smiled.
“Want some tea? You can tell me about your travels.”
Right. Tell him about everything that had happened: let shizun know how much Binghe had experienced for his sake, what he was ready to do for him. Perhaps then he’d abandon Liu Qingge? Perhaps Binghe still had a chance?
“Shizun, I wanted… to talk,” Luo Binghe said with an effort, clenching his fists. “About… about what had happened before the Abyss. Do you remember?..”
Shizun frowned; the smile disappeared off his face.
“Yes, I suppose we do need to discuss it. You see, Binghe… I’ve reconsidered everything that’s happened and I’ve realised my mistakes. Sometimes my behavior towards you was unacceptable… that incident with the pond, for instance. I… can understand why you’ve… suspected some lowly motives. But I swear, I haven’t thought of anything like that! I’ve always only saw you as a disciple! I haven’t even thought of men… until recently,” shizun stared into space dreamily, caressing his fan with his finger, then caught himself. “So… I’ll be grateful if you can forgive me and forget what happened.”
Shizun nodded to his own words and smiled. Luo Binghe was quietly looking at his smile.
“No”
“Not like that”
“I don’t want it”
“Give me one more chance”
“Please, no”
The world stayed silent.