Chapter Text
Stan isn’t the perfect boyfriend, he’s aware of that. Sure, he’s made mistakes here and there but nothing that he couldn’t come back from. Or so he thinks.
From Stan’s perspective, he seemed to think that it’s a normal date for him and Wendy. They are at a small but well-decorated café. Flowers, frilly decorations, and the color pink is quite literally everywhere. Couples are sitting all around them, flirting with each other without a care in the world. This is the perfect date spot for couples, like Stan and Wendy. A waiter came by and Wendy requested for a few minutes to look over the menu.
“Bebe told me that Clyde took her out for a picnic date at Stark’s Pond last week…” Wendy said with a hint of annoyance.
“Oh wow that sounds nice,” Stan replied, questioning why they’re talking about this in the first place.
Wendy just has this certain look to her today, Stan knows that something is up with her.
“Ugh, you don’t get it!”
The next words that came out of her mouth were ones that Stan didn’t expect at all.
“Stan, it’s not going to work and that’s final,” Wendy stated with a huff. Stan looked at her stupidly, mouth agape.
Suddenly, the frilly decorations and romance that seemed to be filled in the air wasn’t so pleasant anymore. Stan felt disgusted by it.
“Wait… what? This isn’t supposed to be happening. Why are we breaking up again?”
Wendy takes a long sigh and repeated herself, “Our relationship isn’t working and hasn’t been for a long time. I could give you a list of reasons as to why we shouldn’t be together anymore.”
“Okay,” Stan said. “What are those reasons?”
It’s obvious Wendy didn’t expect him to ask, and yet she recovers swiftly, saying, “Firstly, I’ve been dropping so many hints. Would it kill you to take initiative once or do anything unprompted?”
Stan replied, “Well, I never know what you want and I don’t want to surprise you in a bad way.”
“Also, you don’t communicate when it’s needed. You just shut me out.”
Stan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He knows he’s guilty of this. He really does feel bad for doing it to her. “It’s a bad habit of mine. I’ll try my best to improve on it. I want us to have a healthy relationship,” Stan muttered.
By this point, Wendy is clearly annoyed. She knows that Stan is only giving excuses to his actions. He won’t be able to answer this next reason with a lame excuse.
“You don’t show me affection in public or in private.”
Stan is taken aback by this sudden accusation. “What? Yes, I do!”
Wendy retorted, “Give me an example where you have, if you want to prove your point.”
Once again, Stan looked at her with that same stupid expression. He can’t recall a single time where he truly has shown affection for her. It’s not like he doesn’t want to, he just has never really felt the need to do it. He doesn’t see why that is such a big issue.
I mean, I’m not that affectionate. Yeah sure, there’s Kyle. But, Kyle is Kyle, right? That’s how he’s always been. Stan thought .
Stan has never felt the need to explain to Wendy why he shows affection for Kyle, it’s how their friendship has been since they’ve been kids.
As Stan is trying to collect his thoughts together, Wendy is impatiently tapping her foot on the floor. He feels like he’s going insane with that sound so to make her stop, he said, “I don’t want to admit it to you but… I think you’re right. I can’t recall one.”
Wendy gives a short laugh that is only noticeable to Stan. “That’s what I thought.”
Stan tried to think of how he can turn this conversation around but Wendy knows exactly what he will try to do. Instead, she gave him an ultimatum.
“Kiss me and I won’t break up with you.”
“…What?” Stan said.
“You heard me, Stan Marsh. Kiss me right here, right now and I won’t break up with you.”
“I can’t do that, Wendy! Not with all of these people around.”
“So what? If you want me to be your girlfriend so badly, you should be able to do it. Are you afraid?”
“Of course I’m not!” Stan shouted, a little bit louder than he intended it to be. A few people around him stare confusingly but after a few seconds, they continue on with their conversations.
“Uh-huh…”
Stan will never admit this to anyone but he has never kissed Wendy. He has avoided her attempts at kissing in the past. They were done in unconvincing ways that have never been talked about. Stan simply never wanted to, until now. Except he can’t. Why can’t he? That’s his girlfriend so he should be able to kiss her, right?
As Stan is mulling his thoughts over, Wendy is slowly but surely starting to become annoyed again. Stan noticed this and suddenly an idea popped into his head, which is pretty rare for him. He knows a way to win her over.
“What if… you give me two weeks?” Stan asked.
“Huh?” Wendy replied. Now she’s the one that’s confused.
In an exasperated tone, Stan repeated himself, “What if you give me two weeks to kiss you?”
Wendy doesn’t brush this off, she contemplated for a moment. It seems reasonable, I guess.
“Okay, deal. Two weeks. If you don’t live up to my expectations, we’re done. No ifs or buts.”
Stan sighed with a breath of relief, he didn’t realize he was holding his breath this whole time. He didn’t expect her to actually go through with this. Although it will take some time, he’s sure that he can win her back and go back to his normal, comfortable life. Wendy excused herself to the bathroom while Stan started thinking where to even begin. Wendy acts like this is so easy, it’s only because she has experience kissing Tolkien and other people I probably don’t know about. She’s definitely going to dump me if I make her wait two weeks and I can’t even kiss her properly. How the hell do I even go about this?? Wait… that’s perfect! I can practice kissing someone. Who should he even ask? Kenny? No, that would feel weird. Tolkien? Even weirder. For the second time today, an idea popped up in his head. Kyle. It seems like the most obvious answer, why didn’t he think of it before? Of course, Kyle could do this with him. He has to do this. He also knows that Kyle has at least a little bit of experience, based on their conversations in the past. Stan is confident about this plan now. He knows that he can ask Kyle without making things weird or awkward between them. He saw Wendy walking out of the bathroom and tried to busy himself, making it look like he was simply waiting for her.
“Sorry about the wait, want to order drinks now?” Wendy asked.
“Sure! What do you think you’ll get?”
As their date ends, Stan is sort of relieved that this is over (for now). He needs to ask Kyle to practice kissing with him but he isn’t sure how to approach it… he’ll figure that out soon.