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Usually, he was strong, but his mind took no hesitation before each round of attacking his spirit. Harsh thoughts would throw him directly into the centre of the ring, battering his body and diminishing his soul, leaving him sorrowful and depressed.
Primarily, he felt empty.
That once vibrant spirit: the one that used to be buttered with joy and spread with happiness, now flickered as lifeless as a dim candle who’s wax was quickly coming to an end.
Lloyd wasn’t sure where this had come from. He was always a sensitive boy, not understanding the teasing and bullying which the others classed as ‘banter’ during his school life. He used to think they were just mean - and they were.
It was one of his main motivations within being a ninja. Being a hero subsequently meant he was to fight bad guys and put these mean people in their place. Through all his good, Lloyd soon discovered the fact that some people were just generally unlikable, most who only knew how to be unfriendly and rude.
During missions, these mean people would say derogatory things to him: picking on his appearance, fighting techniques, or anything else they could find. Not once did the boy allow them to get to him in the moment. He would stay calm, even sometimes laugh it off with the ninja once the mission had completed and the mean people were dealt with.
But still, hours later once he was within his own isolation, Lloyd would find himself caught between the insults that were thrown towards him in the previous days.
He would train harder, trying to perfect the techniques that were once critiqued and wouldn’t rest until he felt that he was as good as he could be (despite overpowering all the ninja anyways). If they mentioned his looks, that night he’d stand for hours in the bathroom adjusting his hair and clothing, trying to find any way to change himself that would satisfy other people. And when one guy insulted his voice once, Lloyd barely spoke up around anyone for a week.
Lloyd never thought he was insecure. He always believed himself to be confident in the way he was and acted, but looking back on his life, maybe he always had that anxious nature about him.
From when he was a kid, he was always extraordinarily apprehensive about living up to his last name. He would stride daily to commit to what his peers expected from him in Darkley’s, feeling that he was no longer good enough to be classed the Son of Garmadon when he failed his tasks.
That was insecurity.
That time he was the golden ninja and was captured so his power could be used, he felt useless over the fact he wasn’t being the strong, fearless hero that he was destined to be. He was so torn over it that he gave up the power completely, telling the others it was for ‘safety’, when he knew very well that it was because he simply didn’t feel like he deserved it.
That was insecurity.
Even in more recent events, the struggle he faced attempting to unleash his Oni form crippled him in every way possible. His mental ego - which had always been quite small - decreased to almost nothing as he was unable to achieve something that his own father told him was extremely easy. When he did get it, he was so choked by the way he looked that it only lasted a few seconds.
That was insecurity.
All Lloyd had ever tried to do in his life was impress others and live up to expectations that were immensely beyond his capabilities. Still, he’d fight until the end, and beat himself up when he ultimately failed a challenge no other person would be able to complete.
The ninja did help him, though. They assisted him in realising the fact he’s more than just opinions and prophecies, stripping away the armour that protects his heart, and opening it to welcome family . Even though it only lasted a few, beautiful minutes, that’s what kept him going. Without the reassurance of his family, he was sure he would have gone insane by now, but he hadn’t. He cherished his siblings more than anything due to this, along with the unconditional love that they constantly sent his way.
Lloyd was one of a kind - the best of the best; yet he’d never be good enough for his own mind. That was something he knew he would always have to live with:
Insecurity.