Actions

Work Header

i wouldn't marry me either (a pathological people pleaser)

Summary:

college junior kate bishop is many things - a collegiate archer, friend, lesbian, funny, smart... the list goes on.
what she also is is lonely (despite being surrounded by people), feeling inescapably inadequate, and trying too hard to not let anyone see it.
that's all until some people from her past come back and remind her that there's still room to mess up and especially - there's still room to dream.

Notes:

idk how to describe this but i WAS told to post it.
so. here. high yelena. i love her. wanna hug her.
now i'm going to bed tho so enjoy, lmk your thoughts and ily all :)

Chapter 1: the blonde is breaking her brain

Chapter Text

august 10th, 2010

“Yelena,” Kate whines, “Teach me another word.”

“No,” Yelena retorts defiantly, “Come on, Katie. Pay up. I don’t do this work for free.”

Kate furrows her eyebrows, staring at the wood chips sitting on the tiny table between them. They’ve been playing store for an hour now and Kate’s kind of over it.

To be fair, Kate was kind of over it the moment she saw the squirrel that she chased up a tree ten minutes ago, but she blames the deficient part of her brain that can’t focus on anything and pisses all of her teachers off for that one, not Yelena. 

Yelena won’t teach her more Russian, though, and that’s decidedly not fair. She only knows four words right now - Privet, which means Hi, Glupyy, which means Stupid, Krasivaya Devushka, which means Pretty Girl, and, Yelena’s favorite, Suka, which means Bitch. They’re not allowed to say that one, it’s a grown up word.

“Don’t call me Katie,” she whines, sitting on the ground and picking at the wood chips that are poking at her bare legs, “Can we play something else?”

“I wanna play store,” Yelena complains in response, “Cassie would play store.”

“Cassie’s in California,” Kate stands, brushing her legs and butt off and wiping the chips off of a section of the surface that Yelena’s using for her store.

“Kate, what are you doing?” Yelena peeks her head out from below the playground equipment, watching as Kate puts her shoe up on the ledge and grabs at the bars of the structure above it.

“Having fun,” Kate retorts, hoisting herself up so that her other foot is now on the lip of the structure. “You should join me, Yelena.”

“My sister said I shouldn’t climb like that,” Yelena responds, walking out from below the structure. Kate can feel Yelena’s eyes on her.

Kate doesn’t make a comment, knowing now is not the time to bring up her mom because every time that she does, the woman just appears like an evil witch or something.

“Kate, get down from there!”

Kate turns her head, still holding on tightly to the bars and forcing her feet a little further so that the toe of her shoes are wedged between the bottom bar and the floor.

She sees MJ’s dad, arms crossed and grumpy as MJ strides over to say Hi to Yelena.

“I’m fine!” Kate insists, slowly shifting her way over to the entrance of the structure.

“Kate,” MJ’s dad is right behind her now, “Come on, get down from there. You hated that cast you were in last March.”

Kate shakes her head defiantly. She’s trying to have fun.

That doesn’t really do it for helping her case, though, because MJ’s dad quickly picks her up and puts her back down on the ground, giving her a look, “Self-preservation is important, Kate, if you don’t live to see eight, you’re never going to grow up and be an astronaut, you hear me?”

Kate scowls, knowing somewhere that he’s right but still really not enjoying the lecture.

She can’t wait to grow up and make her own decisions.

september 9th, 2023

“Oh, shit!”

Over thirteen years later, and Kate can’t say that she’s changed much despite that being half of what she tells people when they ask about what she was like when she was a kid.

She’s pretty sure that no one believes her, anyway.

At least she can confidently say grown up words now.

“Kate, you suck at this,” Peter comments, carefully balancing his bowling ball in his hand and staring down the alley, “Let me show you how it’s done.”

“Yeah, okay,” Kate rolls her eyes, slumping down into the booth with MJ, “This is gonna be so much more fun when we’re all legal.”

“No, it’s not,” MJ snorts, “You’re just gonna get us into trouble, Bishop.”

“Whatever,” Kate boos as Peter bowls a perfect strike and snacks on some of the left curly fries.

MJ and Kate have been friends since they were kids, almost. They grew up in the same town in Ohio, but after her Dad got pretty confident in his startup, she and her family left for New York City.

MJ followed years later after her Dad and she needed to move in with her grandma, and she and Kate reconnected as freshmen in high school.

“Alright,” Ned waltzes back over and places drinks down on the table, “For MJ, for Peter, for me, and for the child.”

Kate glares at the beers that her friends are going to be drinking and then at her own Sprite.

“I’m not a child.”

“You act like one,” MJ retorts without missing a beat, “Ned, you’re up.”

Kate sighs, slumping further into the booth as Ned and MJ start talking about something that her brain can’t track right now. Drunk or not, Kate’s always had a hard time focusing.

She instead redoes the math for their current session, only to find that her original math was, in fact, impeccable, and that she’s correct in the fact that she’s losing hard.

It’s embarrassing, really. Kate’s got an eye for literally every other type of thing - phenomenal darts player, collegiate archer, great throw in softball despite never seriously playing, the list goes on. Her Achille’s heel just so happens to be bowling. And that sucks.

“When’s your friend getting here?” Kate asks, shrinking in on herself a little bit when she realizes that she interrupted MJ and Peter. She can practically hear her mother chastising her about paying attention.

“We’re meeting her in the arcade in twenty minutes,” MJ responds, eyes laser-focused on Ned working himself up to bowl again, “So this is our last game. And we’re going out to dinner with her.”

Kate nods, not really sure of her thoughts about this whole thing. She doesn’t really like the idea of another person in their tightly fit group. It’s been masterfully curated for a reason.

Maybe Kate is scowling because MJ quickly adds, “Down, tiger. You’re gonna like her.”

Kate doesn’t bother arguing.

Twenty minutes pass by in what feels like a flash and Kate finds herself trailing the trio with her fists stuffed in her pockets to the conjoined arcade.

Kate kind of wants to take a stab at the go karting having not drank anything and kind of wanting to decompress. She feels around for her license, now almost completely distracted until she accidentally walks right into Peter.

“Kate, you good?” Peter asks, letting MJ and Ned go ahead.

“I’m fine. Totally good. Right as rain,” Kate responds, dodging his eyes and looking to where MJ and Ned have stopped walking near the entrance.

They’re talking to someone that Kate can’t see until MJ moves a little to the side and Kate sees the woman.

She’s a brunette with a goofy grin on her face as she talks to MJ and waves her hands around as she talks enthusiastically. She looks vaguely familiar, but Kate can’t place it.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she dismisses herself from Peter (who was still talking about something Kate lost track of five minutes ago) to answer it.

Kate puts herself in the corner of the arcade, a spot that isn’t exactly quiet but isn’t overstimulating, either, and answers the text.

It’s from her roommate, America, asking where she is and if she’s coming back soon. Kate thinks she must be bored if she’s asking at only 7 o’clock at night.

Kate shoots back a quick text saying that she’s going to try and leave - because honestly? Movie night with America sounds way better than whatever this is going to be. Kate’s pretty sure that she can’t handle new people right now, even though she’s known that MJ had a friend coming to join them all week.

After taking a second to compose herself, Kate decides to take advantage of the fact that there’s a vending machine and gets some M&Ms.

“Care to share?”

Kate whips her head to the side, confused. Who is talking to her?

There’s a woman standing next to her now, a dopey grin on her face as she stands with her hands stuffed deep in her hoodie pocket. Her blonde hair is braided tightly against her head in an elegant-looking french braid and her eyes are glittering in the arcade lights.

“Can I help you?” Kate rips the package open and grabs a blue M&M, popping it into her mouth.

“I like M&Ms,” the woman responds, nodding to the packet in Kate’s hand, “Also, you’re like… super hot. It’s kind of ridiculous. But I just smoked a joint and weed always makes me hungry.”

Kate tilts her head, smiling a little at the bluntness. Women don’t normally flirt with her - it’s normally guys that are already drunk beyond belief and they’re always thinking with the wrong head. Also, this woman has the prettiest accent.

“I dunno, care to share your weed?” Kate responds, knowing it’s probably not the best idea right now. She would love the excuse, though, and candy’s always better high.

The girl’s eyes light up and she grins even bigger if possible, “Let’s go outside!”

Kate lets the woman lead her out to the patio of the establishment. It’s large, with more than twenty tables with varying levels of occupancy and overlooking a lake. Kate follows the woman to one of the further tables and is a little confused when she sees two other women already there.

One is another blonde, but Kate can tell that she’s taller than the first woman even though she’s sitting. The other is perched on the railing of the patio with her feet on her chair, smoking with a glazed expression.

“Lena, who is this?” the taller blonde asks, clearly not high. “You can’t be bringing random people over here when we’re doing less than legal shit.”

“Recreational marijuana is legal in New York, Ana,” the shorter blonde - Lena, Kate guesses - replies, her hands leaving her hoodie pocket as she waves one in her friend’s face, “M&M girl, this is Ana. She’s what you Americans call a buzzkill.”

“I’m just looking out for you, ты, маленькое дерьмо,” Ana responds, keeping a watchful eye on Lena as she picks up a joint and brings it to her lips.

“Whatever, сука,” Lena responds.

Kate stiffens, not having heard that word in god knows how long. She remembers Yelena teaching it to her when she was younger. God, she hopes Yelena’s doing well.

“So, you looking to smoke?” Ana asks, picking a glass up off the table and taking a sip from it.

Kate shrugs, “As long as you promise you’re not gonna take advantage of me or something.”

Lena snorts loudly, “Ha! She’s funny!”

Ana ignores her, “Nah, I’m basically their mom when they do stupid shit like this. Well, Lena’s sister would be, too, but she’s off having sex or something.”

Lena babbles something in some incoherent language and Kate finds herself staring for a second, wanting desperately to know what she just said.

Ana rolls her eyes, “Sorry. She doesn’t want to hear about the fact that her sister gets it more than she does.”

“Natasha is engaged,” Lena responds with a smoky huff, “Of course she gets it more than I do. Not that I want to, I have a historically low libido.”

“Dude, that’s a stranger,” the third woman finally speaks up, “Don’t talk about your libido in front of her.”

“M&M girl, do you care about my libido?” Lena asks, eyes bright with intrigue.

Kate’s own eyes widen at the question, not having expected it in the slightest. What did she just get herself into?

“It’s… uh,” Kate swallows, avoiding eye contact as she conjures a response, “Not really my business, y’know?”

“See, Sonya? We’re fine,” Lena says, giggling before putting her lips to the joint again.

Sonya huffs and seems to tune them out again and Ana hums, “So, you have to have a real name, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Kate nods, “It’s Kate.”

“Well, Kate,” Ana gestures to the two joints sitting on the table, “If Lena invited you, you’re very welcome to smoke with them. Or just sit here sober with me, whatever floats your boat.”

“What are you doing here, Kate?” Lena asks, “Are you at the arcade by yourself? Because that’s sad.”

“Sorry, her filter is gone when she’s high,” Ana interrupts, “You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Kate shakes her head, “I’m here with friends, actually. I just… Lena found me when I was taking a minute to step away. Overstimulating, you know?”

“Totally get it,” Ana nods, “That’s why I don’t really care about being out here. We love the games and the food here, but eventually it’s just too much.”

Kate nods dumbly, mumbling a “Yeah” so faint that it almost disappears in the wind.

“So what’s with the friends?” Lena asks, “Are they weird?”

“No,” Kate’s eyes fall on the lake behind Lena before she refocuses, “They’re good people. I’m just having an off night. It’s… weird.”

“Totally understandable,” Ana says, “Have you told them where you are? I know if one of these idiots disappeared into thin air I’d be concerned.”

“They’re busy,” Kate responds quietly, tapping the arm of the chair that she’s sitting in. She knows that she should probably heed Ana’s advice and send a quick I’m not dead text, but she doesn’t really feel like it. They’re busy with the new girl, anyway, and Peter wasn’t too impressed by her when they last talked.

“It can’t hurt,” Ana says softly, and Kate really finds herself understanding the Mom label now.

Kate’s about to respond when they’re interrupted by someone walking over and putting their hand on the table.

Kate looks over at the culprit - a redhead with bright eyes and a big grin on her face. She’s wearing a tucked-in green t-shirt and black jeans and her exposed arms are covered in goosebumps.

“I want my hoodie back, sestra,” she says, looking directly at Lena and not even acknowledging that there are three other people present.

“No, it’s comfy,” Lena whines, tucking her arms close to her body, “Can’t you handle the cold on your own? You are Russian.”

“Can’t you handle the cold on your own, then?” the woman responds, rocking back on her feet and crossing her arms. Kate can’t help but notice now the sheer amount of muscle on her and makes a note to not piss her off. Sure, Kate knows she’s bigger than the woman is, but she remembers getting her ass kicked by shorter people when she did martial arts in high school.

“Ты такая сука,” Lena mumbles, “Where’s your fiancée, anyway? Doesn’t she have clothing that you can steal? I thought that was the point of a relationship.”

“The point of a relationship is to love someone and for them to love you.”

Lena shakes her head, “Semantics.”

Kate’s phone buzzes in her pocket and she checks it, only to see a text from MJ that’s a sole question mark. Kate texts back outside and moves on, refocusing on the conversation at hand only to find that she missed a whole part of it.

“Who’s this, anyway?” the redhead finally asks, jabbing her thumb in Kate’s direction.

“Kate,” Lena replies, a pleased smile on her face, almost like she’s proud that she remembered. It’s kind of cute.

“Bishop? Like, Kate Bishop?” the redhead asks.

Kate cringes, not wanting to be recognized for her parents’ stupid company. She doesn’t want to lie, though.

“Depends on why you’re asking,” Kate shoots her an uneasy smile and the redhead falters for a second, staring at Kate like she’s trying to put some kind of puzzle together.

“Nat, how did you know that?” Ana asks, shooting the woman an incredulous look.

Oh, right, her name is Natasha.

“Recognized her from an article I saw a while back,” Natasha responds smoothly, clearly fudging some kind of detail. Kate doesn’t like it. “She’s a nepo kid.”

Ana looks at Kate now, “Nepotism? What kind?”

Kate sighs, “My parents, they run a security company. It’s… it’s nothing, really. Nothing important, at least.”

Natasha snorts but doesn’t say anything more, slumping into one of the empty seats and glancing at her sister and Sonya, “How high are you two?”

“I’m sitting,” Lena responds, “Not high at all. Sonya’s up high, though.”

“ты тупой ебать,” Sonya mutters, making Lena gasp. Kate assumes that it was an insult. “She meant are you smoking weed, you сука.”

“Oh, yes, I am,” Lena bobs her head confidently, “Want some?”

“You would be an awful drug dealer,” Natasha says with a snort, “You can’t just give people your weed, sestra.”

“You’re not people, you’re my sister,” Lena says stubbornly.

“Yeah, whatever,” Natasha shakes her head, “We should get out of here soon. Mainly so I can put that hoodie in the wash, it’s going to stink for days now.”

“Rude,” Lena retorts.

Kate’s phone buzzes in her pocket again and she stands, knowing her friends are probably worried by now.

“Hey, where are you going?” Ana asks, shooting Kate a concerned look.

“My friends,” Kate nods to the door to the arcade, “It was nice meeting you guys. And uh,” she grabs the M&Ms out of her pocket and hands them to Yelena, “Enjoy.”

She then walks away, not knowing what else to say, but happy that she took the time to meet them. They’re fun.

MJ meets her at the door, like she knew that Kate was coming (Kate wouldn’t be surprised if she did know, honestly), “Hey.”

“Hey, come on,” MJ drags her by the arm, “You have to meet someone.”

Kate grits her teeth, knowing that there’s no point in arguing.

MJ leads them over to an air hockey table where Ned is on one side and Peter’s standing in the middle, seemingly refereeing the thing, and the new girl’s on the other side.

“Cass,” MJ interrupts, “This is Kate.”

“Oh, holy shit!” the girl grins, focus on the game completely lost, “Hi! I don’t know if you remember me, but we used to hang out when we were kids. My name’s Cassie.”

Kate’s eyes widen as she puts the pieces together, “Oh! Wow. I’m so sorry, I’m kind of out of sorts tonight, but… wow. Shit.”

“It’s totally okay,” Cassie assures her, “Can I get a hug?”

“Yeah, of course,” Kate pulls her into a hug and Cassie laughs against her like ten seconds in. “What?”

“I always knew you’d be a stoner,” Cassie comments, grinning as she pulls away.

Kate gapes, “I’m not a stoner!”

“Sure, stoner.”