Chapter Text
Kaveh detested the idea of gaining the pity of his estranged ex-best-friend-now-turned-roommate whom he has an undecipherable yet palpable tension with which derives from their irreparable past mistakes.
Their infamous fight- well infamous exclusively to the pair since they’re the only ones who really are aware of it- at the House of Daena when they were both still studying at the Akademiya leaves lingering and taunting fragments of the aftermath between the two of them, which both refuse to acknowledge.
They simply continue on as if nothing had happened, but it’s nigh impossible to continue on as if nothing happened due to the glaring fissure within their relationship which they are unable to close.
But despite everything, life goes on, and Kaveh eventually becomes accustomed to venturing throughout the city to collect groceries enough for two. He doesn’t mind bargaining with the merchants to ensure he gathers Alhaitham’s favorite fruit in bulk and for the smallest price. And he definitely doesn’t mind sneaking in a trinket or two for himself that caught his eye in the Grand Bazaar along with the other food items.
Ultimately, he finds himself no longer holding a strong loathing for the new rhythm he has fallen into that has been accommodated to add Alhaitham’s own. But there is the recurring thought that reminds him that he is bothered by the fact that such moments of domesticity are being fulfilled with someone who Kaveh doesn’t dare to even consider a friend.
Not anymore.
But he chooses to dismiss the uneasy feeling in his chest as he walks down the path to their shared house, two brown bags full of groceries in both hands.
He hums already knowing what’s bound to happen the moment he walks through that door.
He’ll walk through the door, complain about the absolute mess his insufferable roommate has left with his overflowing collection of books to which said roommate will do nothing but grunt in response, and then together they will cook with the groceries Kaveh had just brought.
And as they cook, they’ll bicker, and then as they move to set down the plates, they’ll continue bickering, as Kaveh sets down the utensils- the fork on the right for Alhaitham and spoon on the left, and the fork on the left and the spoon on the right for him- they will bicker.
And in between bites they will pass comments and counterarguments to the points being thrown throughout the duration of their meals.
And in the end, after they’ve argued about some nonsensical philosophical topic as they do the dishes together- with Kaveh washing and Alhatiham drying (they’ve compromised to simply help each other instead of one doing them all, which helps prevent that argument from recurring. ((But it’s ultimately proven counterintuitive because they’ll just find something else to argue about))- they will finally retire to their respective rooms. Neither comes out as the winner or loser of any of their numerous debates.
Countless words will flow out of their mouths from the moment Kaveh steps into the house until the two finally rest, and yet not a single one will be in regards to addressing the elephant that is present in the room every time they interact.
Kaveh doesn’t dare to address it, for he finds himself satiated with simply settling with the routine he shares with Alhaitham now.
Being roommate-zoned because of some damn elephant is an inevitable fate he doesn’t bother to tamper with.
It would be selfish to yearn for more.
Kaveh finally reaches the front door and fishes his keys from his back pocket after he had placed the bags of groceries down on the porch for a moment.
He sighs knowing the ruckus that’ll immediately commence, but the fault ultimately belongs to him and Alhaitham. Sustaining conversations, or well, arguments, are required of both parties’ participation in the end.
He finally unlocks the front door and walks in, ready to complain about the stack of books strewn along the hallway of the entrance (seriously? How does he have enough books to have the stacks reach all the way to the entrance?) but the sight before him the moment he walked in caused him to still.
This was not what was supposed to happen.
He stands, completely dumbfounded, as he finds himself staring into familiar dual colored turquoise-orange hued eyes, but instead of the ones with sharper edges and a scrutinizing gaze that he has become well accustomed to since he moved in, they’re ones that are softer and warmer.
Ones that he only sees when recalling his favorite memories in addition to his worst.
Ones that he only sees as haunting images within his nightmares.
Kaveh blinks twice to ensure that the figure before him is nothing but a trick of light; however, it does not disappear.
As any other person would do in a situation where a ghost from a haunting past he desperately tries to forget is currently sitting on their couch, Kaveh promptly drops the bags of groceries that were in his hands, mouth wide open and eyes widened in shock.
Alhaitham, his Alhaitham- well also not his Alhaitham because he doesn’t belong to Kaveh but the one between the two figures before him who lives with him currently, walks out from the kitchen after hearing the loud thud from the living room.
Alhaitham does nothing but sigh seeing the mess his roommate had already created after only being in the house for a mere one minute. A stray apple rolls to his feet.
“Hey, those were our groceries for the week you idiot,” he scolds, not even caring about the mental shock Kaveh is currently undergoing that is so intense that it leaves him speechless and immobile.
The one sitting on the living room couch, a being who looks exactly like Alhatiham, albeit smaller in stature and cheeks still round from youth, simply gives Kaveh an unimpressed look. “Is he really still this dramatic?”
And now Kaveh finds himself fainting.
The House of Daena is a famous spot within the Akademiya, but it’s mostly for sitting down to work with groupmates or studying alone for an exam. Nobody really utilizes the actual books around due to the Akasha Terminal being able to gather information for the user at any given moment.
It’s quiet, apart from the rather loud and harsh whispers, which are borderline raised voices, coming from a table seating a heated blond and a more subdued figure seated across from him.
“-perhaps if you weren’t adamant on upholding your egotistical ideologies, this project wouldn’t have dwindled dramatically in numbers!” the blond whisper yells as he directs a furious glare at the person before him.
The other rolls his eyes in response. “Egotistical? I simply am able to recognize who is truly in need of my help versus those who are trying to take advantage of me- which, I observed- is something you are incapable of noticing even when it’s being flaunted right before your eyes.”
The lack of emotion, the grating monotonous voice, the lack of any indication that the other even cared about the other members of the group angers the blond.
How can someone be so apathetic towards those who were in need of guidance?
“It was nothing more than just guiding them towards the right direction,” the blond reasoned through gritted teeth. The urge to start yelling at his junior becomes even harder to repress, the overwhelming spur of emotions demands he does, but he knows if he raises his voice any higher than this, being kicked out of the library will be inevitable.
However, there’s a part within him that knows that no matter the amount of help given to his peers, it wouldn’t be enough. But there was another part telling him that it was the right thing to do.
“I just- I just believed that they would be able to progress just as efficiently if I was there to give a little help,” he tries.
“Senior,” the other began. Alhaitham continued to maintain a leveled voice and a blank face, juxtaposing the vehement anger evident through his senior’s face and voice. It pissed Kaveh off. “We are both well aware that you provided more than enough help. At the cost of your own health, you were attempting multiple people’s parts all the while yours, and look where all your effort ended up.”
A flinch along with a sharp intake of breath. The older didn’t like where this was going, he knew that the other was about to say something that would indubitably end the argument by utilizing sharp words that would cut deep and bleed. His junior can be merciless with his words when his patience is being well-tested.
But Kaveh knew it was too late to stop a knife that was in mid-swing.
“Sure, call me egotistical all you want,” Alhaitham started. “But in reality, senior, I’ve noticed that you are also quite selfish as well. You uphold this altruism out of the guilt you acquired.”
Stop it.
“You believe helping others will serve as your repentance, that this will ease the burden that you carry.”
That’s not true.
“But instead, you are doing nothing but further digging your own grave with your own two bare hands.”
Shhhhhck
The thesis. Torn right down the middle.
An indication that this is the end and there will be no going back.
The blond stalks off, leaving behind his junior.
The last thing the blond will remember from the scene are those turquoise-orange eyes, which, for once, are reflecting an emotion. They were slightly widened as a sense of sorrow swims amidst his gaze.
“Is this really senior? He doesn’t seem to have changed much.”
“Yes. Unfortunately.”
Rude! Is this really how one treats someone older than you? Was what Kaveh was about to say the moment he opened his eyes, but he stops as the first thing he sees is those haunting pair of eyes once again.
He stills instead, carmine staring into orange. He blinks. They’re still staring at him. They blink back at him.
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh calls out, tearing his gaze away from the other that's staring down at him. “Despite having thought I’ve become well accustomed to dreams ever since you abolished the Akasha, I can’t help but ask, are they able to be this realistic?”
In response, all Kaveh gets are two simultaneous sighs of exasperation.
“Kaveh. This isn’t a dream and there really is a younger version of me next to you right now,” says the older Alhaitham who’s sitting at the end of the couch, not even bothering to look up from his book.
“Is he going to faint again?” inquires the other Alhaitham.
Despite what younger Alhaitham thought, Kaveh does the very opposite. After hearing the confirmation from older Alhaitham, Kaveh immediately sits up with a newfound energy to immediately squeeze the younger’s cheeks, to which the victim couldn’t help but jolt slightly in surprise.
The younger Alhaitham finds himself unable to fight back as his senior continues squeezing mercilessly. “Oh my god it really is a younger you! I forgot how cute you used to be back then Alhaitham!”
“Senior, I do not appreciate you patronizing me.”
“He still calls me senior!” Kaveh coos as he ignores the others' sputtering protests. “Come here!” Kaveh says as his arms reach for the other.
“Senior-“
And now mini Alhaitham is subjected to a full bear hug by his senior from the future who seems to have abandoned all semblance of shame.
And because it’s younger Alhaitham who hasn’t had physical contact in years (which is actually no different from current Alhaitham), he short circuits.
“Alhaitham. I think I killed younger you.” Kaveh says as he observes how his victim has suddenly gone pliant in his arms like a puppet without strings.
Older Alhaitham sighs again and finally looks up from his book. “What do you mean you killed-”
He turns to see how Kaveh is squeezing the life out of his younger counterpart, who seems to have been relinquished of all bodily autonomy to the elated blond.
Said younger counterpart is thoroughly red in the face, and it’s not because of the lack of oxygen his offender is giving him. Alhaitham meets his gaze and sees how his eyes are wide in panic, silently begging Alhaitham to help him out of this predicament immediately.
What a terrible oversight on his part.
Since this was the younger version of himself, Alhaitham is well aware of the vehement feelings he harbors towards his senior, but he had forgotten how intense they were when he was younger- back when he had not fully mastered the art of balling up his emotions and 360-trick-shotting them into an voidless pit placed somewhere in his heart.
Alhaitham quickly separates Kaveh from the younger version of himself.
“Practice some self control will you?” You’re going to give him a heart attack.
Kaveh pouts. “Aw, but how often will I be able to indulge in a version of you that wasn’t so much a brute?”
“He’s still technically a guest. Show some decorum will you?” Alhaitham says, arms crossed.
“Is he really a guest if it’s you?” scoffs Kaveh.
He turns away from the other Alhaitham to look at his- to the Alhaitham whom he actually lives with, a single eyebrow raised indicating how his initial excitement has passed and is now replaced with curiosity. “Why is there a younger you running around Sumeru anyways?” he asks.
“He’s from the past.” Alhaitham says.
Kaveh's eye twitches at how mundane Alhiatham says it. Such a bizarre statement shouldn’t be said like how one would say relaying the weather.
“What the hell did you do to cause such a predicament?”
Alhaitham actually doesn’t know himself, but what he does know is who they’re going to turn to later to sort this thing out. Ultimately, it is something they won’t be able to figure out without her help, so he just changed the subject “There’s also a younger you, you know,” Alhaitham relayed.
As expected, Kaveh brightens up immediately once again.
“What! Seriously?” he exclaims, excited once again at such a prospect. Why he’s so excited about such a strange phenomenon instead of approaching it with caution is rather appalling to Alhaitham, but it’s also Kaveh, he’s always been slightly bizarre.
“Where is he?” Kaveh says, looking around. He thought he would’ve seen him by now, but he finds that the mini him is nowhere in sight.
“Well, he locked himself in your room the moment I brought them here.”
Kaveh tilts his head in confusion. “Huh? But why?”
“It may be because he doesn’t wish to see me right now.”
Present Alhaitham and Kaveh both turn to the now recovered younger Alhaitham. He has on the signature Alhaitham blank face, but clearly still an amateur at it as a hint of sadness lets itself be revealed.
Despite it being shown for a mere split second, Alhaitham and Kaveh are able to catch the moment of vulnerability. Makes sense for Alhaitham, for he, well, knows himself best, and naturally for Kaveh because he knows Alhaitham best second to him.
Kaveh and Alhaitham exchange glances.
A beat.
One, two, three:
Ding!
“Ah.”
Lightbulbs pop up above both Alhaitham and Kaveh’s heads as they come to the same realization:
These younger versions of themselves are the ones who have experienced the fallout of the project but have yet to reconcile.
“When,” Kaveh began hesitantly, taking the liberty of voicing the current question lingering within his and Alhaitham’s mind. “When did you guys have your argument?”
Young Alhaitham shifts uncomfortably. “Well, before we abruptly time traveled,” he began weakly, voice slightly strained. “A few hours ago.”
“Oh dear.”