Archive of Our Own

In the time Merlin had been Arthur’s servant he had been thrown against a wall, punched ( in the arm, gut, and groin) , been pelted with rotten food, nearly decapitated by a rogue sword, and poisoned. Twice!

It came with the territory of being the one destined to serve and protect the future king of Camelot. Arthur by no means lived a life of mundanity- yes, occasionally there was a blessed lull between assassination attempts and unlucky outings, but not nearly as much as Merlin would have liked.

That day was not one of polishing armor endlessly and half paying attention to boring Court proceedings. No- what Merlin wouldn’t give to be stuck doing chores right now as opposed to dangling by a rope strapped around his wrists. His feet couldn’t even reach the filthy floor of The Oracle’s hut. Merlin had struggled against his bonds at first but hissed at the feeling of the rope digging deeper into his skin. His shoulders felt on the verge of dislocation, so he remained still and tried to think of a non magical solution. Non-magical because Arthur was in the room with him. Slumped up against a wall and unconscious but in the room, facing him nonetheless. He was worried the moment he did something magical Arthur’s eyes would snap open and witness it.

The Oracle stepped back into view. They had an otherworldly quality to them, unisex, deathly pale with not a hair on their body-including eyelashes. Their eyes were hooded and blazing a violet so very inhuman that Merlin couldn’t help but stare into them. The Oracle held up both hands in a cupping gesture, drawing Merlin’s attention temporarily from their eyes to what was held in the spindly fingers. They were holding a small gold band up to Merlin like some kind of offering to Merlin, who in turn showed them his teeth like a snarling street dog.

“Emrys, it brings me no pleasure subjecting a fellow creature of magic to this sort of treatment but as you and the young Prince have made it so abundantly clear, you have come to kill me rather than listen to what I have seen.”

Their voice was smooth and distractingly hypnotic (by design no doubt) but Merlin refused the impulse to relax into the sound of it, he kept his back rigid and let his eye flicker once more to Arthur, he was still unconscious but Merlin could see the rise and fall of his shoulders and knew he was breathing which gave him hope.

“You appeared out of nowhere, interrupted King Uther’s birthday banquet, killed two of the knights, and shouted some gibberish about seeing Uther’s demise close at hand and the true path of Arthur’s destiny.” Merlin rolled his eyes heavenward and winced. His hands were tingling and pulsing from lack of proper blood flow. “Uther believes you to be an enemy of the kingdom now. What did you expect?”

The Oracle tilted their head to side slightly as if considering, all the while their long fingers traveled along the edge of the gold band in their hand. “I merely defended myself against the knights who drew their swords the moment they saw me.” They looked back up to Merlin’s eyes “Besides, my prophecy wasn’t for Uther to understand or meditate on. It was for you, Emyrs.”

Merlin figured as much. Prophecies had a tendency of involving him these days.

The Oracle reached one hand out, Merlin shuddered at the feeling of their fingers on his cheek, it was the same gesture his mother had always done to sooth him but with the added tingle of strong magic prickling against his own. He clamped his eyes shut, he didn’t like the way it felt. It made him feel queasy. “I have seen a new future, Emyrs. One that ends the inevitability of hundreds of thousands innocent creatures' lives cut short; humans, beasts, and Gods of the Old Religion- their continuation in this world and the true age of peace for Camelot all hang in the balance of one choice.”

Merlin felt his heart start to race, once again, his eyes went to Arthur’s slumped over form. This time, however, Arthur stirred mildly. The Oracle followed his gaze but seemed uninterested in the fact that the Prince was coming around. They turned back to Merlin and held the gold band up once more. “Emyrs, will you tell the once and future King the secret you guard so closely within your heart? It is the key to a beautiful new future never thought possible, even by the Magics of the sacred Crystal Cave.”

Merlin bit the inside of his lip. How could he possibly trust this Oracle who had shown him no reason to trust them thus far? And to ask Merlin to reveal his magic to Arthur? Selfish. Impossible. It couldn’t possibly end well for anyone- especially Merlin who would be burned at the stake come morning. The Oracle let out a sigh, no doubt reading Merlin’s mind (could Oracles do that? Merlin hadn’t read up on their kind enough to be positive one way or the other)

“Very well. You have made it clear you cannot be reasoned with. This really doesn’t give me any joy doing this to you.” The Oracle opened a joint on the gold band, opening the circle like a woman’s bracelet. But the creature didn’t latch it to Merlin’s wrist, instead, those long hands that vibrated with a magic that clashed with Merlin’s own, slid up under his tunic. The young sorcerer gasped and began to struggle once more, even trying to discreetly use magic to push The Oracle away from him, but it didn’t work.

“You have one month to change your mind…” They went on and then Merlin felt the sharp edges of the band punctured his chest. There was nothing to do but scream in agony. Not only did the metal pierce him, but it felt as though The Oracle's hands were in his chest cavity as well. Excruciating pain burned bright, tears of boundless pain flowed down Merlin’s cheeks and he felt his throat grow raw with his screams. His racing heart was grabbed by gentle and cruel hands and despite The Oracle's words of him having time, Merlin was sure in that moment that they intended to stop his heart forever.

Then the gold band snapped closed around his heart and the hands inside him drew away.

“Hey, Oracle! Forget about me or something!?” Arthur shouted, but it sounded so very far away to Merlin who stared wide eyed at the affectionate smile The Oracle was giving him. At some point, Merlin had stopped screaming and now he just hung from the ceiling, shocked and horrified and barely breathing. There was a dull aching in his chest that made him aware of every beat his heart made, whenever his heart expanded he felt the magical gold band like a dull ache.

“You have one month, Emyrs, or you die for your treachery.” The Oracle whispered and then Arthur’s sword swept across their middle. But the hit did not land on its intended target. The moment Arthur had crept up and swung, The Oracle had vanished. The only thing Arthur’s blade cut through was the robe in which the creature of magic had been wearing.

“Damnit!” Arthur growled and plucked the empty robe off the end of his sword. After tossing it angrily to the side, the Prince turned his attention to Merlin, concern evident on his face. Merlin kind of wondered how badly he looked, he felt feverish and near the point of passing out from the whole ordeal, but he forced a wobbly smile on his face “Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just losing all feeling in my fingers but please, continue staring dumbly off into space.”

The concern on Arthur’s face wavered and he pursed his bottom lip and looked off to some fixed point by the ceiling in mock deep thought “Just for that, I might leave you there for a few more minutes.” Honestly, sometimes Merlin doesn’t know why he antagonizes Arthur in moments like this where he desperately needed his help.

Luckily, Merlin must have looked really bad off because Arthur didn’t fulfill his threat and cut Merlin down immediately. He fell to the floor and struggled to even sit up. His heart raced again in panic that he couldn’t even stand up and groaned in pain when his heart pushed more insistently against the band.

“What did The Oracle want with you? What did they do to you, Merlin?” Arthur demanded as he helped Merlin back up to his feet but kept a steadying hand on his shoulder when Merlin swayed dangerously. The lanky man shrugged and tried for a smile. “Oh, you know the routine; Torture the lowly servant to get information about the Prince of Camalot.” Merlin wouldn’t tell Arthur about the band The Oracle had put upon his heart. It would only raise more and more questions. Question Merlin really didn’t have proper answers for. He just needed Gaius’ help and some time. He would figure out how to get rid of it soon enough.

Arthur snickered and sheathed his sword, he looped one of Merlin’s arms over his shoulder in order to help the latter back to their horses outside. “That does seem to happen to you a remarkable amount of times.” Merlin shrugged as best he could “Comes with being the servant of a Pendragon.”

Outside, the sky was twilight and in the sky above dark clouds rumbled unhappily. They must’ve been in The Oracle’s humble home for a good four hours. Merlin worried about Arthur’s head injury. He had smacked the wall with a horrible crunch and had laid still for a very long time. There was a good chance he was concussed.

Somehow, Merlin managed to mount his horse with no help from Arthur, saving himself serious embarrassment. Arthur turned his horse around, pointed east, the direction of Camelot. The wind whipped about him and his gaze traveled up to the angry sky. “We should start back to the palace. My Father will be waiting. No doubt he will be less than pleased. I was unable to best that beast. It would’ve made a very good birthday gift. Its head mounted above his fire…” even at his own words he shuddered, probably envisioning the not quite human and not quite animal head underlit by a fireplace. Awful.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think The Oracle has moved on.” Merlin said airily, his eyes flickered over to Arthur to find the latter already looking at him. Their horses galloped side by side through the long grass of the open field, when they reached the woods, they would find the path leading to Camelot a couple miles in the trees. Once they reached that they would get the horses going at a full run. They’d reach Camelot by four, maybe five in the morning.

“And why do you think that?” Arthur asked with all the snobbishness Merlin had come to expect from his royal highness.

Merlin turned away from him, looking out at the forest line growing closer and closer. “Gaius once told me Oracles only appear for one night every thousand years.” Gaius hadn’t actually told Merlin that, he had read that himself in the little time he had had to prepare for their hunt for The Oracle. But he couldn’t rightly tell Arthur he had skimmed his book of magic he hid in the floorboards of his room before they had set out.

Arthur seemed to have accepted Merlin’s answer, the crease between his eyebrows smoothed out and his shoulders lowered.

“I didn’t give them what they were looking for, just so you know.” Merlin went on after a quiet moment.

“Oh, I know.” The cheeky grin Arthur flashed at him was far too brilliant for their mundane conversation. It nearly blinded Merlin. Breathing in deeply, Merlin focused on slowing his heart, trying to lessen the pain with every breath. He really hoped Gaius would know what to do.

**

Gwen offered a sympathetic smile as she handed Gaius another cloth. The physician dipped the corner in a healing salve he had concocted the moment word reached him the Prince and Merlin returned in rough shape. Arthur had been very lucky. When he had hit the wall, the skin on the back of his head had split, leaving an awful wound that had dyed his blond hair a muddy red in the back. But his skull was intact and Gaius was satisfied to see no signs of brain swelling.

Arthur sat up from the table he had leaned over to allow Gaius to stitch his head. The head in question was pounding with pain but the salve had helped with the burning at the injury area. Gwen patted his arm and went to wash the rags of blood and water.

“Thank you, Gaius.” Arthur spoke up. The old man gave a slight bow of his head, his hand skimming along the edge of his desk. “Always happy to help, Sire. Though I do wish I saw less of you in a professional capacity.” His eyes drifted to the paper on his desk his fingers had nudged then flicked back to Arthur’s carrying a heavy weight behind them. “This head injury could very well have been your death if you had hit any harder than you did.”

Arthur looked properly scolded on his apparent recklessness for all of four seconds before asking with barely hidden concern, “How’s Merlin?”

Gaius sighed through his nose and offered a lopsided smile “ Nothing of immediate concern- now, I don’t care what your schedule looks like, you will be on bed rest at least until tomorrow afternoon. Head injuries are a very serious matter and I would appreciate you taking proper caution for at least the next four weeks.”

Arthur tried his very best not to air the string of protests bubbling up in his throat, instead giving a tight smile and a curt nod of acknowledgement. “When Merlin is back on his feet, send him to my chambers, would you?”

“I will, Sire.”

Arthur stopped in the doorway, a pull in his gut wanted him to make his way back into the room, heading straight for Merlin’s room which had remained shut since they had returned. But he thought better of it. Merlin hadn’t shown any signs of serious injury besides his faintness and unsure footing. His head hurt too much to think about the matter this long. Arthur left without another pause.

When the Prince had left his chambers, Gaius went to Merlin’s room and knocked only once and did not pause for permission before he entered the small room.

Merlin had stripped himself of his tunic and was currently staring down at the flesh of his chest. Gaius couldn’t help but stare as well. On the pale, hairless chest was dark ink. A large circle of symbols that were not of the Old Religion but of The Oracles who were not entirely of this plain of existence, certainly not bound to the earth as the Old Religion was. And in the center of all the prophetic tattoos was a small shine of gold. It was the golden band around Merlin’s heart just barely protruding, leaving no room to forget its presence within him.

“Oh, Merlin…” Gaius gave another long sigh and was careful to lower his aging body to sit on the edge of Merlin’s bed beside his young ward. The boy in question’s head shot up and he looked up at Giuas with wide eyes. “ What does ‘Oh Merlin’ mean? Don’t tell me what I think you’re going to,” he narrowed his eyes at Gaius hoping beyond hope the next words out of his mouth were not what they appeared to be.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you another answer, my boy. The Oracles’ magic is very different from what we are used to. Thankfully they only have one prophecy every millennia . Unluckily, this one seems to have gotten stuck on you.” Gaius shook his head before standing with minimal difficulty and started out into the main chamber before returning with two glass bottles. “Where the Old Religion believes in letting things fall as they will, Oracles will do whatever they can to ensure the path they see for the future is fulfilled.”

Merlin rubbed at his face with annoyance “So they’re basically big, stupid meddlers! I was doing alright fulfilling my role in one destiny and now I have to figure out what to do about this bloody new one!” He groaned and laid back on the bed “Gaius, isn’t there anything that can stop this? Anything at all?”

“You’re welcome to scour my collections but I doubt even then you will find something powerful enough to change The Oracle’s prophecy. The only way to end this is to do that which The Oracle has asked.”

Merlin sat up again and gave his mentor an exasperated look. “They wanted me to tell Arthur the secret I guard close to my heart! I’ll be killed if I tell Arthur I have magic.”

Gaius handed him one of the glass bottles and arched an eyebrow at him “And you’ll be dead in a month's time if you don’t tell Arthur the truth. If there were another way, I would tell you.”

The old man pointed to the bottle he had given the younger. “Drink that, it will make you lethargic but it will slow your heart to that of sleep, hopefully it will lessen the pain you experience from the band.”

Merlin offered a pained smile and upended the bottle’s content into his mouth. It tasted like death and mint jumbled up together.

**
The next morning Merlin made his way to Arthur’s chambers. Pausing outside the door to take a deep breath. Then he pushed his way into Arthur’s room with the overly cheerful attitude he always brought when waking the Prince.

“Wakey wakey, your majesty! It’s a beautiful, frigid morning!”

There was a groan from the bed. Merlin went to the windows and opened the curtains wide, bringing the dull grey light into the room. “The rain that fell last night has frozen over a large bit of the courtyard. The people and horses down below have been falling down a considerable amount,” “Merlin-“ “Gaius has been treating quite a few people with back injuries, fortunately, none seem to be all that serious-“ “Merlin!”

Merlin turned back to Arthur, who laid on his side, covers pulled up to his chin and looking just a tad queasy: “Yes?”

“Gaius has instructed me to stay in bed until noon. Apparently I need extra sleep to combat this head gash.” By his tone, Merlin doubted he agreed on that front. Merlin hesitated then looked to the windows, then back to the perturbed expression on Arthur’s face. “So I take it you want the drapes closed?”

Arthur turned over so that his chest was against the bed, effectively turning his back to Merlin as he mumbled “Too late for that. Fetch me my breakfast, would you?” In the most snootily possible way. Merlin cleared his throat with a quick ‘Royal Prat’ muffled underneath which, sadly, did not provoke Arthur into further haughtiness. Probably because Arthur was seriously injured and Merlin should take pity on him a little. Maybe today he would actually act like a proper servant. Merlin went out of the room, down the hall, and reached the stairs before he decided that no, he wouldn’t stop telling Arthur he was being pretentious because then he might get the idea it was okay to act like a royal arse much like the way he was when Merlin first met him. Sometimes Arthur needed to be told to realize when he was being a prick. Merlin was one of the few that Arthur let say as much. It was quite an honor.

The kitchen was filled with the shouts of the cooks and the bustling of other Servants attempting to gather meals for the lingering nobles from Uther’s celebrations two nights before. Merlin somehow managed to get Arthur’s breakfast and the cook only yelled at him once. Shaping up to be an excellent day.

He had almost forgotten the prophecy around his heart. That had been a mistake. When Merlin got to the long spiral staircase that led from the kitchens and up to the west wing of chambers, he had taken the stairs at his normal pace. When his heart picked up on account of his body’s excursion, the gold band made itself well known. The tray slid from Merlin’s hands, clattering noisily to the ground. He put his hand out a second too late and the corner of a stone stair connected with his lip. Luckily by then his brain had caught up and his arms had sprung out in front of him to stop his teeth being brutalized by the step.

He had little time to acknowledge the mess or how his lip was throbbing and blood was on the stairs. He was too absorbed in the painful jolts in his chest. His fear of falling had only worsened the pain, the harder his heart beat the more painful it got. It wasn’t just the inside of his chest that hurt, either. The Oracle’s inked symbols on his chest felt as if they had caught fire. He curled around himself trying to take longer breaths, to calm down and ease the excruciating pain. Another servant passed him, she carried a pale in either hand filled with steaming liquid, she didn’t stop, just stepped around him and his mess but called back “Need me to get the physician for you, love?” Merlin choked on his own tongue but forced himself to shout back “No, I just-just tripped. I’m fine.”

She wasn’t in view anymore but he still heard her, further up the stairs “Then best get down to the kitchen and beg the chef for a second chance.”

The chef this time around, gave Merlin an earful. Citing not only Merlin’s stupidity but also his lanky and shambling body as the reason he was such an inefficient servant. Merlin stood there and took it all. He wasn’t really listening much, he was focusing on the aftershocks of needle pricks in the flesh of his shuddering chest. He felt exhausted and sore as if he had been in a brawl- and it was still only morning!

This time around, Merlin took the stairs slowly, apologizing when he passed the servant assigned to clean the mess he had left. He would’ve cleaned it himself but Arthur was already waiting for his meal. Merlin really hoped he had fallen back asleep and wouldn’t realize just how long Merlin had been gone.

It took much longer going up the stairs at a rate that wouldn’t elevate his heartbeat, but eventually, he did make it to Arthur's chambers. He didn’t bother knocking, just came in and closed the door behind him quietly. Luck was not on Merlin’s side, Arthur was sat in his chair by the fire. He looked oddly ashen but after a quick once over, Merlin concluded it was most likely from the head injury.

“Breakfast.” Merlin mildly announced, waiting for the outburst he expected.

“It’s been an hour, Merlin! What in god’s name took you so long?” Arthur was clearly trying to muster up more anger than his weaken state would allow, but Merlin still felt a throb in his chest, not from the band but from the guilt of leaving his injured Prince without food or proper care for so long. He tried to come up with a convincing reason as to why it had taken. As long as it did but after a long silence with Arthur’s expectant gaze trained on him and nothing coming to mind, Merlin shrugged with a bashful smile.

“I tripped on my way up with your food, sire.”

Arthur’s eyes narrowed “You… tripped.”

Merlin laced his hands behind his back and nodded slowly. “The trey ended up on the floor so I had to go back down to the kitchens to fetch you a new meal.” It wasn’t as if Merlin were lying this time around, he was practically telling the whole truth! Well, minus the whole ‘powerful magic constricting his heart’. But really, his truthfulness didn’t warrant Arthur’s suspicious gaze.

Finally, the Prince seemed to have accepted this as the truth and stood from his chair. Merlin didn’t miss the way he clutched the back of the chair in a whitenuckled grip of support. Arthur sat himself down at his table heavily.

“Is that how you split your lip then?” Arthur offhandedly asked, his focus taken by the food Merlin was revealing one by one as he removed the metal lids.

Without much thought, Merlin’s tongue found the wound on his upper lip but pulled back when it gave a throb in response “Oh that? Nothing but a little knick.”

Arthur pulled his eyes briefly from his meal to give his servant ‘the look’ , the one that clearly stated that Merlin was an idiot. Then he was back to filling his plate from the treys.

“I always knew you were a bumbling fool but this is a new level, Merlin.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and poured Arthur some water from the pitcher “Hilarious, my Lord. And I suppose if you had been there when it happened you would have fallen into a fit of giggles at my expense.”

“I do not ‘giggle’… but it would have been something. Did you perhaps fall end over end while screaming like a girl? I’m trying to picture it.” Arthur crossed his arms and looked off to a corner of the ceiling in search of the image of Merlin’s spectacular tumble.

Merlin sighed loudly through his nose and put on a pleasant smile “Brings back fond memories of when your horse threw you to the ground on that hunting trip.”

Arthur looked downright indignant now as he pointed an accusing finger at his servant “I told you never to speak of it!”

“And you actually thought I’d listen?”

Arthur almost smiled, Merlin could see the twitch of the corner of his mouth but then he forced it down into a scowl “You are literally the worst manservant of all time.”

Merlin smiled brightly and bowed deeply “Thank you, sire.”

The Prince shook his head and took a long drink from his cup. “Go see Gaius about that injury. When you return you will take these dishes back to the kitchen. Hopefully without breaking your neck on the stair- then you will dress me so that I may go and speak with my father about The Oracle.”

Merlin had several protests brewing but Arthur narrowed his eyes when Merlin opened his mouth. He closed it without a word and nodded reluctantly.

“Good. Now get out of here.”

****

“What more could Arthur possibly have to discuss with Uther? The Oracle did what it came to do and now it won’t be back for a thousand years!”

Gaius gave Merlin ‘the look’ the same that Arthur always gave him that translated to ‘Merlin, you are an idiot.’

“Yes, but The Oracle delivered their prophecy to you. In The King’s eyes, The Oracle did not deliver their message, so he must think the being is still among us, possibly waiting to strike.”

“But at Uther’s banquet! The Oracle told us all that Uther was soon to die and Arthur’s true destiny-“

Gaius shook his head, dabbing a wet cloth to Merlin’s angry cut. “You must think the King is a fool, Merlin. But despite your interpretations, Uther is a smart man. He knows what to expect of an Oracle Prophecy, every royal must be prepared, in case they are the unlucky ruler to be on the throne when one appears.”

The phacitican turned around and sat the cloth on his desk before turning back to Merlin “Unlike the prophecies of The Old Religion, The Oracle’s prophecy instruct you on what must be done or undone to complete their prophecy, and they do not take no for an answer.”

“But This Oracle… their Prophecy seemed like it was the same as The Old Religion. They both want Arthur to become King and bring peace to Albion.”

Gaius sighed deeply “From what you have told me of The Oracle’s words I can say that it certainly looks like the future The Oracle is trying to create is one of peace… but they also wish for Uther’s death. It’s hard to say, but it seems that if you tell Arthur of your magic, Uther will die one way or another.”

Merlin stared down at his hands with a deep frown. As much as he privately loathed Camelot’s king, Uther was Arthur’s father. He knew that if Arthur’s father died and it had anything to do with Merlin- even if Uther was struck down by the magic of The Oracle’s prophecy- Arthur would blame it on Merlin if it came soon after Merlin telling him of his magic.

Merlin groaned and buried his face against the wooden table top, “So The Oracle’s vision of peace has Arthur killing me. Sounds about right, I mean, when has a prophecy ever cared what happens to me?- why do I have to scrub out Arthur’s chamber pot and help him fulfill a destiny literally no one has bothered to tell him about directly?! Doesn’t all of that seem just a tad convoluted? I mean- ow!”

Merlin’s rant was cut short when the pain in his chest started to pick up. It made him take deep breaths to try and calm his pulse but it was hard when he was angry that this prophecy wouldn’t let him get angry. What was he supposed to feel about this whole thing? Happy? Sad? No. Merlín was pissed. The Oracle was forcing him to make an impossible decision; either in a month’s time he would be dead and there would be no one there to protect Arthur or he tells Arthur and Arthur kills him, leaving Arthur without protection.

“Are you quite done throwing a fit, Merlin?” Gaius asked blandly about his god son’s dramatics. Merlin was still clutching his throbbing chest but gave a curt nod. Gaius leaned forward and laced his fingers together in front of him, “My boy, I’m sorry you are in agony about this, but remember just this one thing; if the Oracle believes you telling Arthur you have magic will save thousands of innocent lives- both magical and human- maybe Arthur’s reaction will not be the one you expect.”

Merlin wished he could believe that. Maybe he did a little, but the idea of standing there in front of Arthur and telling him he had magic… the idea of standing there and watching all the trust and, dare he say, friendship that they had built over the years dry up in an instant. The idea of watching Arthur look at him the way Uther looks upon magical creatures. Merlin almost preferred dying in a month's time than experiencing Arthur’s hate.

The young sorcerer clutched at his aching chest and offered Gaius one of his goofy smiles as he stood “Better go check on Arthur, something tells me he might brain himself again left to his own devices.” Gaius gave a small nod but he watched the boy go with concern. Something told him deep in his bones that this was not going to end well for Merlin. He tried to assure himself that the young warlock had survived worse things, but the ache in his bones persisted.

***

For a week and a half Merlin did absolutely nothing concerning the curse on him. Yes, he had taken to thinking of the Prophecy as a curse. Honestly, it felt a whole lot more curesy to him than prophetic. That first week and a half, Merlin spent taking those herbal concoctions Gaius made to slow his heart rate, learning how to not get too excited, too angry, how not to run too fast or take the stairs too fast. All felt nearly impossible when it came to being Arthur’s servant. On a few occasions Arthur had caught Merlin clutching his chest but when prompted for an explanation, Merlin had offered the excuse of indigestion. Arthur was too distracted by his princely duties to ruminate too much on how often Merlin was getting indigestion or how he was paler than usual, but he did have the fleeting thought that Merlin might be sick. It would explain why he was getting on slower than usual. But he would have to come back to that thought, he had more pressing matters to attend to.

***

Merlin went to see the dragon on day twelve of the curse. Getting out of the castle after dark undetected was hard enough on its own but trying to do that while not letting your pulse quicken was nearly impossible. It took even longer to put a mile or two between him and the kingdom before calling Kilgharrah. He shouted the dragon's tongue to the heavens then half collapsed, half sat down in the grass. He took a quick mental note; speaking to dragons definitely hurt him in his present state.

Soon Merlin heard the pounding of Dragon’s wings and the trembling of the earth as he landed. After a few deep inhales, Merlin forced his eyes open but could not bring himself to stand. His heart was not even beating that fast and yet having the dragon hurt him, the symbols on his chest once again lit up hot and searing pain. He didn’t even need to say anything, Kilgharrah knew.

Merlin felt the dragon nudge him with his hot snout, he also realized his eyes had clamped shut once again without him noticing.

“Young Warlock, it seems you have gotten mixed up in something unforeseen by the prophets of the Old Religion… unfortunately unforeseen by myself.”

Another nudge and hot breath fanning over Merlin’s trembling body. He felt like his skin was peeling off of him. The pain was so intense he thought he might pass out.

“Merlin, I will leave shortly. The Oracle’s magic does not care for magical beings of opposing magic. Before I leave once more, show me their ruins on you so I may know what is to happen.”

With gasp for air, Merlin lifted the tunic. It felt to weigh more than he did in his trembling hands. The dragon snarled and jerked away as if it repulsed him. Merlin dropped his shirt and let himself fall back into the grass so that he was laid out, clutching his chest.

“Here is what you need to know, so pay attention, young warlock. You are a creature of magic as am I but I cannot read The Oracle’s future as well because it does not originate from the stream of magic. The Oracle’s magic is not of this plane. Of what I understand, it appears The Oracle has sentenced you to a death.” Here the dragon paused, looking down at the young dragon lord for a long moment before continuing on. “If you were to carry out its bidding you may be able to take Uther with you. There is also a chance that death at the hands of this prophecy will not be a permanent one so bare that in mind.”

The dragon stood to full height looking over the trees to the shape of Camelot cool in the moonlight. Then looked down at the last dragon lord once more, dying dying very soon. He hated himself for becoming so fond of him.

“Merlin, let us meet again. Follow the path you believe is true and… let us meet again. There are already so few creatures of Magic left. Do not abandon us so soon.”

Not waiting for a reply the dragon took to the air, leaving Merlin laying in the small opening unable to move. He watched the dragon go forlornly, it had felt like a goodbye from a friend. And he guessed that was what it was. He soon lapsed into unconsciousness.

He did not wake up for two days.

***

Merlin jolted awake, remembering that he had to get back to the castle before the sun rose and people started looking for him.

But then he saw he was in Gaius’ physician chambers on his examination table. No one was around so Merlin was quick to get to his feet. Only, they were traitors and he found himself sprawling on the ground with a groan. He felt achy all over and unbearably weak. He slowly pushed himself back on his feet and walked to his room on shaking legs. He closed it behind him and sat on his bed heavily with a sigh. If he felt winded just from walking such a short distance he might have a serious issue. He peeled off his tunic and looked down at himself. The curse didn’t look as though it had changed much externally but Merlin could feel it. The band on his heart had tightened. Not a whole lot, but enough to get the message.

He thought back to what Kilgharrah had told him and bit his lip in concentration. Even the ancient dragon was not completely sure but he had seemed to think Merlin would die but come back from it. At least, that’s what Merlin had taken away from it. The only problem was… well, he might not come back. That was the real predicament, wasn’t it? Merlin looked over at the old rusty metal tray he had kept from being tossed so that he might use it as a mirror. He studied his own face on its surface. He looked like death, ashen skin and dark rings around his eyes, clammy, unkempt… he closed his eyes and focused on his own magic. It felt strong and endless.

Merlin let it’s warmth soak deep into his bones… and finally decided what he would do about this Prophecy.

Arthur was at dinner with his father. They were discussing the recent marriage of a royals to the west and the political ramifications their union meant… but Arthur’s mind was elsewhere. Gaius had assured him that Merlin would indeed wake up but the whole situation left him uneasy.

He had been discreetly observing Merlin more closely ever since his fall on the stairs. Arthur knew Merlin was a bumbling idiot but something about the fall hadn’t set well with him, there were also the clutches at his chest, the looks of pain he would wear when he thought the Prince wasn’t looking. But Arthur was always watching… now Merlin had snuck off in the middle of the night and had lost consciousness and had yet to reawaken.

He had sent a search party out to find his servant when not even Gaius had known where Merlin had gone. Arthur’s heart had filled with a thickness when he had seen the guards pulling Merlin’s seemingly lifeless body off a horse when they returned. Arthur had thought the worst and had to turn away and redirect his attention to something else when he felt his eyes burn. If any of the knights noticed his reddened face or his inability to look at Merlin’s body, they did not comment. Arthur had felt daft for getting so emotional (especially over the likes of Merlin) when one of his men told him that his servant was still alive.

But it had been two days since then and Merlin hadn’t shown signs of waking. The whole situation rubbed Arthur the wrong way.

There was the echo of the dining hall door opening and the Prince cast his eyes over, expecting nothing more than one of the servants coming to and fro, he jerked in surprise when he saw Merlin enter. The idiot was trying to enter discreetly but not doing a very good job of it. When he caught Arthur’s eye, he gave him one of those bright sunshiny grins of his before making his way to stand alongside the other servants waiting to be of use. It took everything in Arthur to tear his eyes away and focus once more on his father’s rant about other nobility.

After the dinner was concluded and Uther excused Arthur, the Prince headed for the exit knowing Merlin would follow. He did not speak a word to Merlin the whole walk to his chambers. Just listened to the other set of footsteps a pace behind his own.

When they had entered Arthur’s chambers and the door had been shut, Arthur turned around and looked Merlin over. He looked gaunt and pale, and to be honest… very sick. But he still had that very Merlin smile on his face that Arthur had not seen in nearly a month.

“Shall I start a fire in the harth, sire?” Merlin asked, but he was already moving in that direction as if Arthur had already told him yes. At least that hadn’t changed.

“Merlin… you are obligated to tell me if you are ill.” He started with a warning in his voice. He was posing it as if he was worried about his own health to save face. Merlin huffed a laugh and looked over his shoulder at his Prince with his defiant grin, like everything was okay, that it was all normal. “Trust me, it’s not contagious.”

Arthur furrowed his brow and watched as his servant lit the fire. He was still smiling and Arthur was starting to really hate that content smile. “Is it anything serious?” At this point he wasn’t even trying to hide his concern. Merlin didn’t look back at him and for a long stretch he didn’t speak. Suddenly he stood, brushed the soot from his trousers and looked Arthur in the eyes “Nah, I should be over the worst of it soon enough.”

And even though Merlin’s eyes never strayed from his Prince’s, Arthur felt his stomach tighten. Merlin was lying right to his face. His servant walked past him and started doing his nightly routine, picking up Arthur’s dirty clothes to wash in the morning, straightening out a few things, making Arthur’s bed.

“I miss one day and your room goes to shite.” Merlin grumbled as he cleared the table.

“You missed two days.” Arthur corrected, still standing with his arms crossed, watching Merlin who paused at his words, he looked troubled by that but pushed it from his face and continued on with his cleaning “still, looks like a family of trolls took up residence in my absence.”

Arthur didn’t take the bait to start one of their petty fights. Instead he stepped closer to Merlin, searching his head for the right words “Merlin… since I have met you, I have strived to be a better Prince. Mostly because your whining and pouting are grating on my nerves… but also because, despite your inability to do a single thing right-“ “Seriously, is this leading to anything other than you insulting me?” Merlin chimed in. “If you would let me finish, I was getting to the part where I commended you for your unexpected wisdom. You have always had something to say to help me through my toughest trials.”

Merlin had to stop what he was doing and listen. Arthur had never spoken so honestly to him and even though his words hurt, hurt not only because he felt they were too generous but also because his heart was beating faster and it hurt so much. He couldn’t stop Arthur though, not when he was baring his feelings so openly to him.

Arthur cleared his throat and looked to the side instead of Merlin as he started again. Merlin was just looking at him with wide eyes that overflowed with admiration so much so, Arthur could feel his neck and cheeks reddening.

“I value your presence at my side.” He looked back to Merlin and put a large hand on the shaking shoulder of his servant. Gods, he was going to regret saying this, “I value you as my friend, Merlin. I am as honest as my position allows me to be, I was hoping to expect the same level of honesty from you.”

Merlin appeared to be trembling apart under Arthur’s words, so much pain and sorrow filled his face and Arthur did not miss the trail of tears that streaked down his friend’s face.

“Arthur- what- why would- you are making this so much harder for me!” Merlin wiped at his eyes, his other hand clutching at his chest as he had been for weeks now. Arthur stepped closer “Tell me how to make this easier for you- medicine, do you need something not in Camelot I could send word-“

That is when Merlin gasped loudly and hunched over, clutching his chest violently. Arthur caught him before he hit the floor and was quick to drag Merlin to the nearest chair with a back. “Merlin, Merlin! Stay with me.” Arthur shouted, slapping his servant across the face when his eyes started to roll back. Merlin’s vision refocused on him enough that Arthur didn’t think he was going to lose consciousness at least for the next minute or two. Arthur ran to the door of his chambers and yelled ate the patrolling knight at the end of the hall to fetch Gaius immediately. With that taken care of, Arthur rushed back to Merlin’s side. His face had gone from deathly pale to a feverish red and he was panting like a dog on a hot summer day, tearing at his chest like it was setting him on fire.

Arthur pushed Merlin’s hands out of the way and started to tug the ugly tattered blue tunic over his head. The Prince saw a flash of something purple under the tunic but Merlin was pushing his hands away from him “No no! Arthur- I ah, Imfine, really” Merlin tried to convince but Arthur wasn’t believing it for a second.

“Like hell you are! Stop fighting me!” He growled and shove Merlin’s weak hands out of the way. He grabbed hold of the tunic and yanked it up revealing-

Arthur felt his own heart stop for a moment. His mind filled with buzzing. He blinked as if that would clear the craziness he was seeing from his vision. No luck there, the faintly glowing ruins inked on Merlin’s porcelain skin remained. The edge of the markings were red as if the markings were burning him- judging by Merlin’s moan of pain that was probably exactly what was happening. Then he noticed the small curve of gold protruding out of his friend’s chest right at the epicenter on the ruins… right over Merlin’s heart.

It honestly left the Prince and future king of Camelot speechless. He was aware that he kept uttering Merlin’s name and when tears started to spill down the latter’s face, he wiped them away.

Gaius did not bother knocking before entering the Prince’s chambers. He had a fairly good idea that he was being called for Merlin, who had left the physician’s chambers after waking up from a two day coma without so much as a word to Gaius. Honestly, the boy really knew how to drive an old man mad.

Seeing his god son slumped over in a chair by the hearth was something along the lines of what the physician expected to find, the crowned Prince of Camelot kneeling before him and clutching at the barely conscious servant was not.

Seeing Gaius entrance into the room, Arthur looked to the older man with fury burning in his blue eyes “Gaius, what is this? What’s going on?”

Merlin would not be happy with him but the physician knew the idiot was likely going to die if he didn’t tell the Prince what was happening. “Sire, it’s the work of The Oracle.”

Arthur looked even more confused and angry “The Oracle?” Gaius nodded and pulled a draft from his medical bag “There is currently a band of gold around Merlin’s heart. If his pulse speeds up it causes immense pain. I’ll administer this draft that will help slow his heart and ease his pain.”

As Gaius worked Arthur stared down at Merlin with confusion, “What would The Oracle want with Merlin of all people?”

Gaius looked up at Arthur briefly before focusing back on the boy in front of him. “They are using Merlin to fulfill their prophecy.”

Arthur looked ready with another question but Gaius quickly spoke up “We need to lay him flat, help me move him to the floor.” Gaius went to grab up a pair of feet but Arthur stopped him. “I’ll put him on the bed.” Gaius arched an eyebrow at the Prince when his back was to him and he set Merlín carefully down from his gentle hold. Gaius was under the impression that Arthur would be less than thrilled to have a lowly servant resting in his bed but he so freely offered it to Merlin… well, that was certainly unexpected.

Preparing himself, Gaius came over and stood beside the young Prince. Both sets of eyes trained on Merlin. The boy’s shirt had been pulled back down to hide his magical affliction. The feverish red of his face had mellowed out some, but his hands still held tight to the front of his shirt as his chest throbbed.

Merlin kept his eyes tightly shut, yes, out of pain but also because Arthur was right there, that he had seen what he shouldn’t have and now he wanted Merlin to answer his questions. The very thought of it threatened to send his heart beating dangerously fast again.

“Why? Why Gaius?” Arthur asked. He was so genuinely confused by the whole matter, Gaius wished he could help his lord but it was not his place. He shook his head and turned towards the Prince. “That is a question for Merlin, Sire. The draft should bring him around in ten minutes. It will also keep him stable for an hour or so.”

Arthur’s expression grew dark. “It will take me more than an hour just to lecture him on keeping such important information to himself.”

Gaius kept his mouth shut but he couldn’t help but think that if Arthur thought that Merlin hiding The Oracle’s prophecy from his was worth yelling at him for over an hour, Gaius was not sure how he would take Merlin telling him that he was magic, that he was a magic welder. But despite his reaction, Gaius did hope that Merlin told him finally. He was unsure how their Prince would react but at least it would mean Merlin had a chance to live. The Physician had not shared his thoughts with Merlin but it pained him to think of this prophecy taking him from the world so soon. Watching it slowly kill him was killing Gaius by extension and if he still prayed he would pray to the gods and goddesses of the old religion to help Merlin to live through this ordeal if nothing more than so Gaius wouldn’t have to watch the boy he thought of as his son die before him.

“Sire, I must go and check a patient of mine that is in serious condition. If something happens and you need my services, please send the guards to fetch me once more, I will be closer than before and will come as soon as possible.”

Arthur merely nodded at first, gaze fixed on Merlin’s face, his arms crossed over his chest and a hand on his chin. He was deep in thought it seemed. When Gaius had not left yet, Arthur glanced over briefly and then remembered “You may go, Gaius.” The physician bowed his head in respect and left the room.

His heart rate slowed, Merlin found himself in the worst possible situation. He could hear Gaius close the door to the Prince’s chambers and the subsequent shuffling as Arthur paced beside the bed. It felt much like a predator prowling around its prey, waiting for the optimal time to strike. He really wished he could just sleep and wake up to find it had all been a horrendous nightmare. But life was never easy for Merlin and sooner or later he knew he would have to open his eyes and have a very serious conversation with his Prince.

After a good five minutes of stalling, Merlin finally opened his eyes. Arthur immediately paused in his pacing and looked Merlin over coolly. “Are you able to stand?” His voice was battle ready and cold, the voice of a leader preparing his men for a fight that might end their lives. It made all the hairs on Merlin’s arms stand on end under his tunic and he couldn’t get himself to speak quite yet so he just nodded and climbed out of the ridiculously soft bed.

Arthur saw that his legs would hold him so turned away, stalking over and taking up a seat by the lit hearth. He was silently waiting for Merlin to take up the empty seat across from him. Merlin had a brief thought about how he would escape if this conversation went badly, then sat himself heavily in the chair. He looked to his Prince but Arthur was looking at the fire. Did he just want Merlin to start talking? He honestly had no idea how to begin.

“Sooo…” Merlin tried awkwardly. Arthur still did not look over so Merlin opened his mouth again, with every intention of telling a horribly timed joke but Arthur beat him to it.

“What exactly did The Oracle say to you while I was unconscious, Merlin?” Still cold, still angry. Damn. Merlin couldn’t help the smile that came to his face, it was completely born of nervousness “So-“

“Were you ever planning telling me?” Arthur seethed, his eyes once again on his servant that felt his unintentional smile shrivel at the unchecked anger of his Prince directed at him. It didn’t happen nearly as often as it used to, catching Merlin off guard. He waited a moment, hand absentmindedly rubbing at his sore chest.

“Arthur… I will tell you but it’s very… complicated. Please let me try and explain?”

Arthur inclined a hand towards him “Go on then.”

“Okay. Well, after The Oracle had knocked you out, they came to me and told me some of the things they wanted fulfilled by their prophecy… they wanted me to… tell you something… something that if I do will somehow result in the death of Uther. I obviously refused so they put this, this band around my heart. They said in a month's time it will kill me if I don’t tell you.” Here Merlin paused. Arthur’s eyebrows were furrowed in thought. Merlin bit his lip anxiously and went on “I looked into it and there is a chance I might live even if I don’t tell you. I figured it was better to take that chance over killing the king.”

“How much of a chance that you could survive this?” Arthur inquired seriously. Merlin looked down at his hands and couldn’t help the nervous smile from reappearing. “Probably not a lot.”

The room fell into a heavy silence. Merlin sat with his head lowered and plucked at the loose threads of his shirtsleeve. His chest hurt… like a lot… but he figured he had explained it in such a way the Arthur would understand that what Merlin had done was the only choice.

“This thing you can’t tell me… does it have anything to do with my father?” Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes. It made Merlin think back on the day Arthur had found out he was conceived using Magic and his mother had died because of Uther. Arthur had almost killed the king over it. If Merlin hadn’t lied and convinced Arthur not to do it. Maybe Arthur had always had a suspicion after that that Merlin had lied. Certainly if that was what Merlin had to tell Arthur then that would certainly result in Uther’s death. But The Oracle had said it was the secret Merlin guarded most closely to his heart. He couldn’t think of anything he guarded more closely than his magic.

“It doesn’t have to do with you or the king, Arthur. I can’t actually piece together how it would directly lead to Uther’s death but magical prophecies are tricky like that.”

“Run into a lot of magical prophecies, have you?” Arthur snorted, looking just a tad bit more at ease. Merlin grinned and nodded, “Oh yeah, there are so many just laying about, I have to sweep them out of the corners of the room at least once a week.”

It got a small smile from the Prince, who shook his head bemused before reclaiming his composer. “If it has nothing to do with my father and I, how could it possibly relate to the king’s future? Did the Oracle say anything else, Merlin?” Damn. Merlin had hoped he wouldn’t ask anything more. Just pat Merlin on the back for sacrificing his life for the king and be on his merry way but Arthur wanted to know the rest.

Apparently, Merlin had hesitated too long. Arthur’s frown deepened “Merlin. I demand you tell everything you know!”

“Are you sure? I mean, that could take all night-“ Merlin shut his stupid mouth up when Arthur jolted up, ready to strangle his manservant by the looks of it. He raised his hands in front of his face in defense “Okay Okay, I apologize, sometimes I say things without thinking”

Arthur sat back down in his chair and gave Merlin an unimpressed expression “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

Merlin really preferred their banter over talking about the prophecy but he also didn’t want to be strangled to death before the prophecy did anything about it. What would Gaius say if he found out the reason Merlin ended up dead in the Prince’s chambers wasn’t because he confessed to having magic but because he annoyed Arthur to the point of killing him? Actually, that death would be a highly befitting one and Gaius might just shake his head solemnly and say something like ‘I knew that Merlin would do something like this’.

Right. Okay. Focus Merlin.

“The Oracle prophesied that, me telling you and Uther’s resulting death… would save hundreds of thousands lives. Humans and magical creatures alike.”

Arthur’s jaw tightened and he leaned forward “So a war then? The death of my father to avoid a war.”

Merlin said nothing. He didn’t know for sure but that is what it was sounding like. But it all came back to one thing; Uther was Arthur’s father and Arthur couldn’t simply overlook that fact to save his manservant.

That’s why it surprised Merlin when Arthur stood and said “You have failed to inform me of this matter when there was still a month, Merlin. Now I have no more than a week to make a crucial decision.”

Merlin stood as well, staring at Arthur’s back. His chest hurt as his heart started to beat faster once more but he ignored it “Are you… serious?” He cautioned to ask. Arthur was pushing things off his desk and make way for a fresh document. He did not turn back to Merlin “Of course I’m serious, Merlin. This is a serious matter.”

Merlin should just leave it at that. Walk away right then “But Arthur… he’s your father and the king. Are you sure there is anything to discuss?”

That had Arthur slamming his hands on the desk and turning back to Merlin. Fire burned in his eyes as he came right up to Merlin, standing in his space and staring him down with his most imposing expression. Even though Merlin was a tad bit taller he could feel himself shrink under that gaze. Arthur could be indomitable when he wanted to be.

“It’s sounding a lot like you want me to let you die.” Arthur stated, his voice low and just waiting for Merlin to cross him the wrong way.

Merlin’s chest burned. Burned horribly. He hissed. Arthur reached for Merlin, likely to support him if he collapsed again but Merlin took two large jerky steps back away from Arthur, rubbing at his chest like that would do anything to quell the pain.

Arthur watched him for a moment before turning back to his desk, “It is not only your life I am thinking of, Merlin. I must think of this war that has yet to be born and my people.” He said this softly and for a moment they stood there just listening to the crackle of the fire. Then Arthur sat down at the desk “Leave me.”

Merlin lingered there for a moment. “Are you sure?”

“Yes Merlin, I am sure. I must think and you are too distracting at the moment.”

Right. Because he kept clutching at his chest and nearly passing out every couple of minutes. Merlin could see how it might be distracting when you are trying to figure out what is the right thing to do for your kingdom.

“Goodnight, my lord.” Merlin said and as he expected, there was no reply. He left Arthur to it, his kind heavy with his own thoughts.

******

Merlin did not ask about or bring up the prophecy for six days. Day twenty if he was counting correctly. Meaning he had ten days left. Merlin had long ago made peace with death. After facing it so many times in order to save Arthur’s life Merlin figured at this point that when he did die it would be protecting the Prince… he had wished he would have at least made it long enough to see Arthur become the great king he knew he would be, but Merlin really had the worst luck ever.

He had carried on with his daily chores as if Arthur and him had never discussed the prophecy to begin with. And Arthur, though his mood was decidedly darker, went on as usual. Well, with the exception of Arthur yelling at Merlin for carrying two buckets of hot water up to the Prince’s room for his bath. Arthur had wrestled them free from Merlin’s hands, asking if Merlin was really that stupid as Arthur dumped the water into the tub himself. He had then stripped angrily and climbed into the tub all while lecturing Merlin, telling him he should have gotten another servant to carry the buckets up the stairs and asking if Merlin wanted to keel over dead because he was pushing his heart too much over two buckets of water. If it wasn’t for all the yelling and name calling, Merlin might have thought that Arthur was seriously worried about him or something. He privately smiled about it.

It was on the sixth night since Merlin told Arthur about the Prophecy. Merlin was clearing the wooden table of Arthur’s dinner dishes when Merlin felt the magic band around his heart shrink once more. It was beyond his ability to keep the plates and silverware balanced in his hands when it hit. Everything clattered to the floor loudly a Merlin clutched at the edge of the table to stay upright, he felt bile rise up in his throat and threw up on the table he had just gotten done cleaning. It terrified him when he saw that in his vomit was a copious amount of blood.

“Merlin what- Merlin!” There was Arthur, coming from the other room to investigate. Before Arthur reached him, Merlin silently cast a spell on himself. It was nothing that touched the foreign magic within him but it did work around the curse to start healing what he could within himself.

“I’mfine.” Merlin protested when Arthur grabbed him around the middle and dragged him into a chair. Arthur looked worried but also angry as he looked over Merlin “You most certainly are not. You just vomited blood, Merlin. Blood. What happened?”

“The band… it tightens sometimes.” He mumbled reluctantly, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth. Arthur looked horrified at Merlin’s casual admission “And you just forgot to mention that to me because…?!”

Merlin, feeling just a tad loopy as he usually did when he was on the verge of passing out, reached up and patted Arthur’s cheek “Didn’t want you to feel guilty for taking your time.”

Arthur stared at Merlin for a long time, then grabbed hold of the hand on his cheek and squeezed it tightly in his own. It felt cold as ice in his grip. Arthur had made up his mind.

“Merlin, tell me whatever it is The Oracle wanted you to tell me and be done with this.”

Merlin tried to sit up but Arthur kept him where he was. “Arthur, no. You can’t make this decision just because I’m dying-“

“Do not even speak those words to me, Merlin. You are going to live.” Arthur spoke quietly but with that same intensity he always had. Merlin felt his eyes burning and he doubled over in pain. The pain in his chest was back. He felt Arthur clutch his hand even harder “Merlin, tell me what you need to tell me. I will order you to if I must!”

Merlin managed a short laugh “Since when… have I ever actually followed an order?”

“Merlin, why are you so goddamn self sacrificing!?” Arthur growled, pushing Merlin until he was sitting back up from his slumped over position “I must have learned from the pain in my arse clotpoll Prince I’ve been watching out for over the last few years. What about your father, Arthur? Really think about this, if I tell you, he will die. Are you sure you are okay with that?”

Arthur sighed through his nose loudly. “Yes, Merlin. I have made peace with it. I have chosen the life of my closest friend and hundreds of thousands more over the life of one aging King. I also know one rumor about Oracles as well and it is that their prophecies are irrefutable and in this instance I see no need to combat what is destined to happen. Others may find my decision callous- treacherous, even. But if I am to make this decision I will make it with the lives of my people first and foremost in mind.”

Wow okay… this was really happening. Merlin wheezed as his heart hammered in his chest and caused him so much pain he couldn’t even speak. Tears started to gather in his eyes. What had the dragon said? The Oracle had sentenced him to a death. Whether it be at the hands of the prophecy or at the hands of Arthur, Merlin was going to die. He had so hoped that Arthur would have chosen Uther over him so that Merlin could have stayed Arthur’s closest friend till the end.

“Arthur, the thing I need to tell you is about me… you will never want to look at me again, you’ll hate me.” Merlin smiled again. Couldn’t help it. His mom did it when she was upset too. It was a learned thing and it always made him feel a bit mental every time he smiled in circumstances like this. Arthur’s hand squeezed his tighter, so painfully tight at this point that Arthur’s knuckles were white and Merlin would have a bruise.

“Tell. me.”

Merlin closed his eyes tightly and just blurted it out,

“I have magic. I've always had it. I’ve been using it in Camelot and when we go out into the woods-“

“Merlin-“

“I’ve used it to finish my chores faster and I’ve used it to make you trip over your own two feet when you are being a pompous arse-“

“Merlin-“

“But I mostly use my magic to help you, Arthur. I use it to protect you from bandits’ blades and enchanted shields and evil witches curses-“

“Merlin!”

Arthur finally shouted and Merlin flinched and waited. Waited for Arthur to call for the guards and have him arrested. Instead Arthur was just glaring at him.

“When was the last time you used magic illegally?”

Merlin just blinked. He wasn’t sure why Arthur was asking but he might as well be honest “Just now.” Arthur’s eyes widened and he looked around the room suspiciously “Just now?” He asked warily.

“Well, just now a couple of minutes ago. I used magic to heal myself when the band tightened in my chest.” Arthur looked bewildered and a tad bit relieved “It hurt you a lot then.” It was phrased as a statement not a question and again, Merlin had imagined a lot of times how telling Arthur he had magic would go but he certainly didn’t imagine Arthur asking when he last used his magic or seeming worried about his health. Merlin nodded slowly, watching Arthur just as closely as Arthur was watching him.

“What about before that? When was the last time you used magic?” Arthur asked sternly.

Merlin looked abash. “This morning, I broke the chair by the hearth… then put it back together with magic so you wouldn’t know.”

Arthur stared at him, “You broke my chair… and then fixed it with Magic.”

Merlin couldn’t help but let out a breathless laugh “You know, you are taking this a lot better than I thought you would. I thought for sure you’d have drawn your sword and called for the guards by now.”

Arthur looked over to his closed chamber door “Oh I was for a moment but then you told me the last two spells you used were one of healing and the other to fix a bloody chair you probably broke because you are the world’s biggest klutz. It seems you are still the Merlin I have known up until this point. Even with magic.”

The Prince looked back at him, his gaze steady and strong. “And if you are a magic user then you must be a fairly weak one and of no real threat to the kingdom.”

Merlin’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t help but get indignant over such a remark “I’ll have you know I am a creature of magic and a very powerful one at that. The Druids say that I will be the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth!” He huffed. Arthur stood and finally unlatched their hands. Merlin had completely forgotten their hands were joined. His hand felt tingly, probably from Arthur squeezing the life out of it.

“If that is supposed to help me get over the fact that you have been breaking the law right under my nose all this time, you really ought to reevaluate your strategy, Merlin.”

Arthur had stepped away, leaning against a nearby door frame with his arms crossed. Oh… maybe Merlin shouldn’t have been shouting about how powerful he was to the man who would decide if he lived or died.

“I am no threat to you or Camelot, Sire. Camelot is my home and you are…” Arthur looked sharply at him when Merlin paused “You are my Prince and my friend. I have sworn to prophets of the Old Religion to keep you safe with my magic. I would lay down my life if it meant saving yours.”

“As you have proven with this Oracle prophecy. I do remember arguing with you a moment ago as you tried to sacrifice yourself even after I told you it was not necessary.”

“Oh yes that, I remember it vividly.” Merlin smiled broadly. It seemed like things were looking up. He had fufilled The Oracle’s wish and Arthur was wary but not actively trying to build a pyre around his feet so Merlin guessed that the Prince just needed a little time to get used to the idea of his manservant being a warlock.

Arthur motioned towards Merlin with a vague hand gesture “The symbols and the magic gold band, have they resolved themselves now that you have confessed to me what The Oracle thought was so important that they needed to make a whole prophecy about? Really though, it is a shock but I do not understand how me knowing you are magic will avoid a war.”

“Prophecies are always like this. Something as small as a leaf falling from a tree can start a cascade of nonsensical destiny related shenanigans.”

“Somehow I am starting to believe you are well versed in such things, Merlin. Good to know that you do have some knowledge stored up in that brain of yours. It just so happens that it is all related to magic and in no way helpful when it comes to the proper way to clean my chainmail.”

Merlin stood slowly, his legs trembling under him as he slowly raised the bottom of his tunic. Merlin felt dread settle heavily in his throat when he saw that the symbols were still dark and ugly on his pale torso.

“How long do you expect it will take before you’re rid of it?” Arthur asked but the young warlock did not have an answer. “I’m not sure… if it was magic from the earth something like this would disappear almost instantaneously. But this is foreign magic so I have no idea what to expect. It’s unpredictable.”

Arthur came a little bit closer, frowning. “Foreign magic? Where is The Oracle from?”

Merlin shrugged, poking at the inked parts of his skin to see if anything at all had changed since telling Arthur about his magic. Nothing was apparent. “Um, yeah. Oracle’s are from another plane of existence. Having their magic in me feels like Wilddeoren drool all over me. My magic is repelled by it.”

“Interesting.” Arthur mumbled, his attention taken by the symbols on Merlin’s revealed abdomen. “When these symbols light up, do they burn you?”

Merlin felt his heart ache painfully again and put his tunic right again “Yes they do. How did you know? Did you smell my sizzling flesh or something?”

Arthur rolled his eyes shrugged, “They looked painful and the skin around them was irritated when I first saw them.”

Merlin soaked up the information, his eyes running over the Prince and his strange body language. It looked like Arthur wanted to stand near Merlin once more but was still warily keeping some distance between the two of them.

“Well, by morning it should be gone if all goes well.” Merlin started and then clasped his hands behind his back, “I’ll just get started on cleaning up the mess I made with the dishes and… eh, the blood.” Merlin went to walk past him but Arthur grabbed him by the neckerchief and pulled him back around to face him.

“You, Merlin, are not touching any more of the royal dining ware until that gold band has disappeared. I have never known a servant who has decimated so many priceless platters as you have.”

“Oh the kitchen staff stopped serving your meals on the royal dining sets about two months after I started as your manservant. I told them you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference and I was right!”

Merlin saw a vein throb in Arthur’s forehead and chose to finally stop speaking.

“You are lucky your magical affliction makes me take pity on you Merlin. As soon as you are better I want you down in the fields training every morning with the knights for a month.” When Arthur said ‘training’ Merlin knew that really meant he would be clutching a shield for dear life as Arthur and the other knights pelted him with weapons.

Seeing the pure horror on Merlin’s face lifted Arthur’s mood and he chuckled. He reached out a hand and ruffled Merlin’s hair until it was well and thoroughly messed up. “Let’s hope the day you are cured is tomorrow. How do you feel about the javelin?” Arthur asked with an evil smile before disappearing into the other room. Most likely to dress for bed.

Merlin touched his hair and the crazy state Arthur had left it in.

His chest gave another painful throb.

****

The next day was not the day Merlin was cured. Quite the opposite in fact. Merlin felt worse off than he had felt so far. It took a good twenty minutes to drag himself from his bed. Everything ached and a cold sweat coated his entire body, so much so that by the time he had reached Arthur’s room his tunic was visibly wet with it.

Arthur took one look at him and frowned deeply “Something is wrong.”
Merlin didn’t care about rules, he plopped himself down in a chair without any permission, breathing hurt. “I came to that realization too.”

Arthur groaned in frustration and started up his angry thinking pacing as Merlin likes to refer to it as. “You told me exactly what The Oracle wanted you to tell me, correct?”

“Yes, yes, Arthur. I told you exactly what The Oracle wanted me to tell you.”

“And yet… my father is still alive and you are still… Ill.”

Again, Merlin thought of what Kilgharrah had told him. That The Oracle had assigned Merlin to a death. Maybe this was what The Oracle saw for the future. He had told Arthur of his magic and his Prince had accepted him. Maybe that was the only part he was meant to play. Maybe his friendship and loyalty… maybe his sacrifice would shape Arthur’s view of magic and make him a better king for it. Maybe- and here was a crazy thought- Arthur would overthrow his father so that he could lift the ban of magic.

Merlin could see Arthur as a king like that. A king who took care of all his citizens no matter if they were of magic or not. It made his chest ache with pride. He looked over to where the Prince was pacing again and saw not the arrogant teen he had met so long ago but a beautiful king in the making.

Merlin’s chest hurt so badly he felt as if he could not breathe.

***

Arthur did not let Merlin leave his sight all that day. But funnily enough he also refused to let Merlin do his servant duties. Instead Arthur had called upon Gaius and the two of them had brought armfuls of Gaius’ books on Magic. Only one or two really contained anything on Oracle’s but Arthur read through everything put before him. Gaius sat at the table beside the young Prince equally pouring over book after book. Merlin had offered to help but one long glare from Arthur and he had backed off.

He had taken perch first at the table watching them work, then that had gotten boring and Merlin had sat in the chair by the hearth he had fixed with magic but that too grew boring. Eventually Merlin ended up sleeping on the rug under the set of chairs by the hearth. He slept long and deeply. So much so that even when he was aware he was dreaming he could not pull himself back to consciousness. Scary. Maybe that would be what death felt like. A good dream you couldn’t wake up from, even if you wanted to.

Arthur was the one to wake him. Crouched down over him, the Prince had shaken his shoulder roughly until Merlin opened his eyes. “Merlin, Gaius is going to take you back to your room.” Merlin blinked until he was more awake. Arthur sounded tired. He looked it too.

“Find anything?” Merlin mumbled as he staggered to his feet with Arthur’s hand on his arm keeping him from falling back over. Arthur looked over at Gaius, the two of them exchanging such obvious bleak looks. But when Arthur looked back at Merlin there was that ever burning fire and there was confidence in those eyes again “I will keep reading and Gaius says he has more books. We will find the solution tomorrow.” Merlin nodded vaguely and let himself be pulled by Arthur to the door of his chambers and Gaius took over steering the foggy brained warlock back down the halls towards the physician’s quarters.

Gaius helped him into bed and Merlin let him. The older of the two wished him goodnight as he always did… but Merlin did not miss the way the words trembled in his lips and long after the door to Merlin’s room had been shut, Merlin heard the faint and heartbreaking sound of his mentor weeping. That hurt Merlin the most.

***

Two days of research yielded nothing to help them. Merlin gave a small yelp of surprise when Arthur threw one of the books across the room in his frustration. There was less than a week left now and Merlin still had the band around his heart. Arthur was refusing to give up and well… even Gaius was facing the facts at this point. At breakfast on the twenty-third day his mentor asked if Merlin would like to go to Ealdor out of the blue.

“It’s no more than a three day journey… I’m sure Hunith would like to see you again.”

Yes, he was sure his mother would like to see him one last time. And if he did die in Ealdor, he could be buried next to his childhood friend Will.

But there was no way Arthur would let him leave the castle let alone Camelot. Arthur was still trying to find a way to save him. He refused to give up. Stubborn bastard that he was.

He hoped that Arthur would forgive him.

Late that same night Merlin took a horse and left out a side road to not attract any suspicion from the patrolling knights. As he took the mare further and further from Camelot, he couldn’t help but glance back. Savoring his last glance of the mighty kingdom. The kingdom he knew Arthur would one day rule justly.

***

“Gaius.”

“Sire.”

“Where is Merlin?”

The Physician did not look up from whatever he was reading, simply said “He left for Ealdor some time ago.” As if it was the most casual thing in the whole world that a man they were both close to on the verge of death, leaving without a goodbye was completely fine.

“Why on earth would he leave!? Doesn’t he know we have less than a week to figure this out!?”

“I think Merlin is fully aware of what time he has left. That is why I suggested it.”

Arthur froze in surprise then narrowed his eyes incredulously “you what?”

Finally, Gaius turned to him, staring the Prince dead in the eye, “I suggested he go and see his mother.”

“Without consulting me? Gaius, we need him if we figure out-“

“There is no cure!” Gaius suddenly yelled. It surprised them both. Gaius never yelled at royalty but he just couldn’t take it anymore. He cast his eyes to something on a faraway desk and started again calmer, “My lord, forgive me my outburst but you must see it for what it is. We have both lost someone… very dear to us.”

Arthur shook his head the entire time Gaius spoke, rejecting his soft words of grief and understanding.
“What was the point of The Oracle’s prophecy then!? I learned Merlin had magic and then he just dies? How does that help me save hundreds of thousands of lives in the future? Hm?”

Gaius was quiet, watching as the Prince clutched at his chest the same way Merlin had all month “I can feel it, Gaius. Something is telling me that this is all wrong. Merlin is supposed to be here, at my side.”

Gaius hesitated then leaned back in his chair as his brain worked hard to think of something. Anything.

***

Merlín was soaking wet. Because why not at this point?

Him and the horse were taking a break under a tree that provided little to no protection at all from the intense fog. It was thick and wet and Merlin’s was so tired, so very tired. But he had developed an unbearable fear of sleep. Worried that he wouldn’t wake and then where that leave him? Spending his last days in a coma was almost as painful to think of as how he would never see Arthur again… plus he had grown fond of the mare he had stolen and he would feel awful leaving her to fend for herself in these woods.

So instead of sleep, Merlin had taken to watching the rain. Every so often he would reach out with his magic and freeze a droplet in midair and bring it down into his hand so he could study the droplet up close. Only beings of magic would know this, but much like a snowflake, each raindrop was as unique as a butterfly wing. He was fascinated to find that just by studying one in his hand he could tell where the moisture had come from by the tiny amount of magic in each one. The one he was currently holding had once been a dewdrop on a particularly spongy patch of moss in forest Merlin had never been to before.

His body felt so weak, so drained and… dying. It was such a contrast to his magic which felt stronger than ever before almost like a shadow much larger than him. It swelled and thrummed with life. Even The Oracle’s magic still inside him didn’t seem to bother his own anymore. Maybe the Dragon was right. Maybe his humanity would die and he would exits as pure magic. The concept was strange and hurt his head but magic theory often did. He was still young, only and adult for a handful of years. He still had so much to learn about magic.

Merlin let the small droplet in his hand returned to fluid liquid that spilled on his palm and roll down his wrist where it eventually became a droplet that fell to the forest floor. Destiny called for the raindrop to become a dewdrop once more. Merlin silently wished it luck on its journey before forcing himself to stand on wobbly legs. The mare was a kind thing and came to his side, letting him lean against her flank for support as he regained his balance.

It took him an agonizingly long time to mount the horse once more. He was very glad Arthur was not present to witness it. He would be laughing his royal ass off as Merlin kept sliding off the wet animal and falling stupidly a few times. It was only when he spoke to the horse and politely asked her to lay down that he was able to climb atop her.

“You are the best horse I’ve ever had the pleasure of traveling with, do you have a name?” He asked as they set off once more. She whinnied and he stroked her beautiful white main. Yikes. She had a brooch with the house of Pendragon tide in her hair. She must have been Morgana’s before she disappeared with Morgause.

“Would you care for a name from me then?”

The horse nayed and pumped her legs just a little faster. Merlin gave a tired smile “May I call you… Freond?” The horse nayed happily and Merlin gave her neck a few more pats.

As he watched the cold wet forest move past them, he closed his eyes for a moment, trusting Freond to know the way. One hand left the reins and raised to press against the pain in his chest. His thoughts had once again drifted back to his Prince. Arthur was no doubt steaming with anger at him for taking off without telling him. Probably having to deal with George, who he loathed for some reason. It was selfish but Merlin felt truly awful about Arthur going on with his life without him. He guessed it was the idea that Arthur had been such a massive part of Merlin’s life for years now, so much so that here he was thinking of him when his life was drawing closer to the end. It just hurt to realize that he might not have played as big of a role in Arthur’s life. At least… their friendship and Merlin coming clean about his magic would possibly change the future. Change Arthur’s perception just enough that he would fix what Uther had done to Camelot… if that came to be then Merlin could at least live on in that sense. Through the freedom of magic users.

Merlin opened his eyes again but still clutched his aching chest. Every time he thought about Arthur the pain seemed to get worse…

Actually, now that he thought about it…

The pain was always worse when he was around Arthur as well.

What did that mean? Was it because he was supposed to tell Arthur about his magic? No, because it only got worse after that… Merlin thought back to The Oracle’s words

“Emyrs, will you tell the once and future King the secret you guard so closely within your heart? It is the key to a beautiful new future never thought possible, even by the Magiks of the sacred Crystal Cave.”

But Merlin’s closely guarded secret was his magic. It had to be that, right? Right?

Merlin never even heard the hoofs of another horse pounding fiercely after Freond and him. It was the lack of sleep, lack of paying attention, and the drowning noise of the rain that made Merlin unaware until Freond nayed in distress as a black steed pulled up alongside them from the tree line. Merlin jolted, startled by the attacker. He went to jerk the reins, to steer Freond away from any unexpected attack but the rider was quick, he was insanely quick, grabbing the reins of Freond right out of Merlin’s hands and yanking harshly. Freond was not happy, she jerked nayed angrily, even trying to kick the steed at her flank. Merlin was quick to reassure her before she threw him off her back by accident.

“Hey, hey. Freond it’s okay, calm down girl.” He reassured, but it cut short when an angry, harsh hand clamped down on his shoulder, reminding him that he was still under attack. He looked to his left, readying a spell to push the man off his horse but when he turned, he was astonished to find Arthur there. His skin pale from the freezing rain save for his ears and cheeks which were a bright red- and his eyes, his blue eyes looked on fire with rage boiling in him. His brows drawn together and his lips pulled back in a snarl.

“Merlin.”

Merlin usually would find something, anything ridiculous to say to throw the Prince off, confuse him just enough to forget some of his anger… but all Merlin could do was gasp and clutch at his chest as another wave of pain from the band started up. Arthur was apparently too angry at him to care about his pain. He grabbed hold of Merlín’s soaking jacket sleeves and gave it a harsh yank.

“Off the horse. Now, Merlin.” He demanded as he dismounted from his own and took several steps away, his hands on his chainmaille clad hips and his back to Merlin. He radiated anger and Merlin purposely took longer than necessary to get off his own horse to delay Arthur’s screaming session as long as he could.

Arthur waited only a moment and when he turned around to find Merlin moving at a snail's pace he stomped over “for the love of- You are just a- urg! Infuriating man!” Arthur manhandled Merlin down from the horse, who moaned in pain. “Arthur-“ he tried but Arthur shoved him against the horse “How dare you! How dare you leave your Prince- and steal a royal horse as your mode of getaway!”

“Arthur-“

Arthur snarled, getting up in Merlin’s face.

“What, Merlin. What could you possibly say?”

Merlin licked his chapped lips and looked down at Arthur’s mouth, tight with a frown, then cast his gaze to the side “I could say please stop, you are hurting me?”

The Prince still looked to be seething with anger, but he backed away a few steps, Merlin clung to Freond’s side and gasped for breath. His heart would just not calm back down. Seeing Arthur again had set it off and now it wouldn’t slow.

“I thought you understood that I am not giving up. That you are not allowed to give up either. Not until we have beat this.” Arthur spoke more quietly as if he believed his yelling was what brought his friend pain. Merlin shook his head.

“I am not giving up, Arthur… I’ve just… accepted it.” Merlin could barely hear himself over the rain but Arthur must have because his own face grew pained, an expression Merlin had only seen a couple of times. Arthur was always so guarded with showing his emotions.

“Well I can’t accept it. I refused to bow down at The Oracle’s feet and let them steal you away from me.”

Arthur took a step closer, looking at war with himself until one side finally won and he said softly, “I cannot imagine returning to Camelot without you at my side. You can’t just… die, Merlin. This cannot be the way things are meant to be.”

Without Merlin’s permission a sob escaped him and he let himself drop to his knees. Arthur’s words felt like they were literally killing him. His heart was brutal in its self-destruction. Slamming wildly into its prison of gold. Arthur tried to approach him but Merlin put a hand up and cast a spell, making an invisible wall that Arthur could not pass.

“Arthur, stop! You need to go back to Camelot and forget me. You are only making things worse for me.”

Arthur hammered fruitlessly at the magic barrier “How am I supposed to do that, idiot?! You’ve trapped my horse in your magical shield.”

Oh. So he had. Merlin dropped the shield and laid back on the wet grass and stared up into the rain that pelted his face relentlessly. He was going to die sooner than he thought. His heart felt moments from bursting out of his chest so he just lay back and hoped that not moving would help him calm down.

Arthur came and stood over him. Partially blocking him from the onslaught of rain. His eyebrows furrowed in worry and Merlin’s mind screamed

Stop looking at me like that, you moron. It hurts when you look at me like that, when you say things like that about me! It makes me hurt to think you care about me as deeply as I care about you

“How on earth am I making things worse, Merlin? You look as bad off as when you left.”

Oh.

My heart.

Merlin clutched at his chest and closed his eyes once more “My heart races every time you are near. Hurts so much. Hurts just to think of your stupid princely face.”

Merlin heard Arthur shift and opened his eyes to find Arthur on his knees at his side, his wet hair falling in his eyes even as he tried to slop it back it just fell right back in front of his gaze. Gods, Merlin was going to miss those intense eyes looking at him like that. More tears mixed with the rain without his permission and Merlin covered his face. Arthur had once told him he was an ugly crier and he would be damned if that was his Prince’s last memory of him.

“I get the same feeling Merlin. That pain drove me so crazy I had to chase you down when you left.”

Merlin pulled his hands down off his face enough to look at Arthur in confusion “What do you mean?” Then Merlin’s eyes widened in horror, “Have you also got a gold band?! Arthur-“

“Merlin, just… shut up for a moment, will you?”

Arthur’s hand reached out, hesitated, then pressed gently to the tunic resting over Merlin’s heart. His eyes did not look at Merlin's; he kept his eyes on his own hand, pressed over the rapidly beating heart.

“I’ve kept it to myself, thought that I never needed nor wanted to express it. I thought… you would always be at my side so I didn’t have to tell you because you would be with me no matter what. Now I see that it was stupid to assume.”

“Arthur, what do you mean? How has this got to do with-“

Arthur actually laughed, laughed kneeling over his dying friend, Merlin would be outraged if he wasn’t in desperate need of one of those beautiful laughs.

When he look down at Merlin and smiled the latter just stared at him in bewilderment. Seeing that the warlock had still not caught on, Arthur rolled his eyes “I really shouldn’t be surprised by your idiocy at this point but Merlin you really are dumb as a stick aren’t you?”

Merlin frowned deeply “Okay… I feel like I am missing something.” His voice came out breathy

Arthur sighed in exasperation, then leaned forward.

Merlin made an unflattering noise of surprise when Arthur pressed his lips firmly to his. Merlin’s chest exploded in pain as his heart jackrabbited but he was far too distracted. His hand and legs shot up on their own accord and latched onto his Prince, who was now completely over him. Heat erupted over Merlin’s whole body despite the numbing cold of the rain. He kissed emphatically if not clumsily. Arthur was just as gone on the kiss biting and licking into Merlin’s mouth like a wild animal.

It felt like it lasted forever but then Merlin felt Arthur’s hand still over his heart clench into the fabric and he pulled away a few inches. The two panting into each other’s mouths and absolutely captivated by the other’s eyes. Arthur rested his forehead against Merlin’s and said quietly “Your heart is racing, Merlín. So is mine. Do you get it now?”

Merlin blinked up at him, eyes growing wide.

Oh.

Ooooohhhh.

“Arthur… are you in love with me?”

Arthur groaned “I have no idea why at the moment. Yes! Yes Merlin. I love you. I am trying to get you to say it back because it will stop all of this, it will remove The Oracle’s band that is killing you!”

Merlin’s face flamed and he sat up abruptly, making Arthur sit back some. He looked at Arthur with drawn eyebrows “How do you figure that is the solution!? Is that what all this is about? Because you think-“

“I don’t think, I know that you love me, Merlin. I spoke to Gaius before I left and found out you had lied to me about what The Oracle had told you!”

Merlin spluttered indignantly “What? I told you everything they said!”

Arthur narrowed his eyes “I asked you point blank if you had told me exactly what The Oracle wanted you to tell me, and you told me that yes you had, that you telling me you had magic was what The Oracle wanted. But when I spoke to Gaius,he said that you told him The Oracle wanted you to tell me the secret you guard most closely to your heart.”

Merlin’s eyebrows shot up “But my magic made the most sense!”

Arthur threw his hands up “Unbelievable! You have caused Gaius and I so much pain when we could have fixed this whole thing weeks ago!”

Merlin smacked him on the shoulder “I didn’t know, clotpole!” He yelled, face reddening by the minute

“What do you mean you didn’t know?” Arthur yelled back

“I didn’t know that I love you!”

The rain that had been falling all stopped, frozen in mid air around them leaving the forest absolutely silent around them. Arthur didn’t even look around, his eyes drawn to Merlin as his eyes filled with gold, the symbols on his chest glowing so brightly now that they shown through the material of the tunic. Over Merlin’s heart glowed a bright purple. Merlin’s finger dug into the earth at his sides and Arthur watched in amazement as tendrils of golden magic left Merlin’s fingers and sunk into the earth. The warlock had gone otherwise slack and unresponsive.

Then the gold band emerged from the purple glow and hovered, right between Merlin and Arthur.

“Take it, Sire.”

Arthur’s head shot up and he saw The Oracle standing on a branch of a large tree high above the two. Arthur looked back to Merlin who’s eyes had gone completely gold then back to The Oracle with a glare “What is happening to him!?”

The Oracle squatted down on the branch and titled their head as if taking a better look at the young warlock. “He has fulfilled his destiny. He has given his heart to you. It is that gold band that had once trapped him. Take it and he will be free.”

Arthur looked at the other worldly entity with mistrust “What does that mean? Will he live?”

“It means he will be free. Just as I said. You must learn to trust creatures of magic, young King. Your fear and mistrust will only make your journey through life harder.”

Arthur looked down at Merlin, still unresponsive and glowing so brightly now it hurt to look at him. The Prince looked at the gold band still hovering between them and clenched his jaw. “If this kills him, Oracle… I don’t care if you come from another world, I will hunt you down and kill you, do you understand?” Arthur didn’t get a response and he did not bother looking back up, he reached forward and clutched the gold band, pulling it to himself.

There was an explosion of gold magic. It was warm and caressing and it blew up from Merlin like a powerful wind. Arthur had to close his eyes against its brightness but felt it all rushing up and past him, sending his wet hair straight up.

And then it was gone. The rain returned and the deathly quiet was filled with the forest teaming with life once more. Arthur took a moment, blinking repeatedly, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the much darker forest. He looked up to the tree and as he expected, The Oracle had vanished. He hoped for good.

Merlin groaned, drawing Arthur’s attention, he leaned over the warlock and took in every inch of him, he looked the same, with two exceptions; Merlin no longer looked dying, his color had returned to normal and the dark circles under his eyes had disappeared. The second exception was a little harder to describe but Arthur noticed it immediately. Merlin still looked like Merlin… but almost glowing. There was a power on and in him that was no longer hidden… as The Oracle had said… he was free.

“Arthur” Merlin said, he was also looking over himself with a growing panic at his very visible magic. Arthur didn’t say a word, just reached over and pulled the warlock into his arms. He squeezed him tightly to himself, needing to feel him as close to him as soon as possible.

Merlin winced slightly as Arthur’s armor dug into him but hugged his Prince back just as tightly. He buried his nose into the soft skin of Arthur’s neck and breathed him in deeply.

“Look at you, how could you not know you loved me?” Arthur asked but his incredulousness was dampened and sounded a tad too fond to be the tone he had aimed for. He didn’t bother correcting it though. Not when Merlin turned his face towards him and kissed him once more on the lips, light and beautifully new. Arthur kissed him back languidly, wishing they could just stay here for hours doing just this.

When Merlin pulled back he looked Arthur dead in the eye, “To be honest I thought this painful feeling was admiration all this time, then when I was dying I thought it might be guilt, that I was leaving you without protection… I also never would have believed that you would ever kiss me and say you loved me… I finally realized that yeah, that is what it was all this time.”

Arthur pushed Merlin’s bangs back and pressed a kiss to his big stupid forehead “You could have truly died from being so unaware of yourself, you know.” Arthur stated just to drill in the fact that Merlin was an idiot and would not forget just how much of an idiot he was. Merlin pushed him away from his face and grinned his grin that spoke of a thousand sunrises “Yes yes, but you very honorably snogged me until I came to my senses. How very Princely of you. I wonder if you will be awarded a medal of some sorts for your bravery.”

Then Merlin pushed Arthur to the side so he could climb up front the forest floor. He could tell just by standing that he was stronger but he could also tell that his poor jacket was caked in mud. Arthur stood as well and grabbed the sorcerer by the waist and pulled him back around to him.

“Once more, Merlin.” Arthur spoke softly and pulled Merlin’s mouth back to him, tugging him closer by his short black hair. Merlin easily kissed him back, greedily gripping the chest plate of the armor. He couldn’t believe that he was actually kissing his Prince but he would have a mental breakdown later, in the moment they just kissed, deeply. Passionately. The world did not exist.

****

On the way back to Camelot, Arthur had been quiet, mostly just letting Merlin prattle on about things he already knew but with the twist of Merlin using his magic to help his Prince or to ultimately save the day on his own. It was impressive, even if a couple of his stories made Arthur indignant. Some of his notable battles that he won were actually Merlin’s victories.

But something was on his mind and in his hand.

He was still clutching the gold band in his gloved hand. It no longer was the size of a bangle but that of a ring for one’s finger. It thrummed and vibrated in his hand as if it was alive. The Oracle had said that it was Merlin’s heart. To be on the safe side, the last time they had stopped to rest, Arthur had pinned Merlin to a tree and pressed his hand to Merlin’s chest as he kissed him. No, his heart had still been in his chest, beating wildly… he did not know what to do with the band. It had caused them both so much grief but if it was important still…

“Merlin,”
“Hm?”
“The Oracle told me to take the gold band while you were unconscious. They seemed to think it was your heart but you clearly still have a heart beating in your chest.” He couldn’t help but smirk when he saw the tips of Merlin’s ears turn a pink hue.

“What of it?” He asked defensively.
Arthur slowed his horse until Merlin and him were riding side by side and held out his hand with the ring laying in the center.
“What do you want to do with it?”
Merlin looked at him in surprise, “What? Why are you asking me?”

Arthur shrugged “Well, I personally don’t have very kind feelings towards it since it nearly killed you but The Oracle said it was your heart. I am not well versed in magic talk so I cannot fathom if it was meant in a literal or figurative way.”

Merlin held out his hand “Let me have a look.”
Arthur carefully handed it over and watched out of the corner of his eye as Merlin held the gold band in his hand and stared at it thoughtfully. “Looks to be a little of both, it has a small amount of my magic inside it.”

He clenched it in his hand and took a sharp breath before thrusting it back in Arthur’s direction.

“Take it.”

Arthur looked at the closed fist and then at Merlin who was not looking at him “Are you sure?”
Merlin shrugged and cast a quick glance at the Prince “yeah, The Oracle wanted you to have it… and I am always losing things anyway, all my jackets have holes in the pockets. It’d probably be safer with you than me. I want you to hang on to it for me, you know, for safe keeping- only until I sow up my pockets though.” Merlin rambled. Arthur took the ring and, taking off a glove, slid it down onto his finger. Merlin looked shocked and horrified “Well don’t go storing it there!”

Arthur looked at him cooly, “And why not?”

Merlin apparently did not have a proper reason, he simply gaped at him, mouth opening to say something before closing and then he’d try again still unable to say anything. Arthur put his glove back on over the ring and gave a laugh at Merlin’s expense. Merlin finally gave up and just scrubbed at the blush creeping up his neck and mumbled “Prat’s going to kill me.”

“What was that, Merlin?”

“Nothing, sire!”

*****

“Merlin?”

Merlin’s head jerked up. He had started to fall asleep sitting before their campfire. The next day they would reach Camelot. Both were a little on edge. Thankfully, Merlin was not glowing anymore… Well, not as much. Merlin could still see the glow of magic on himself but Arthur couldn’t. He hoped that meant that his glowing was limited to magic users and not the likes of Uther and his advisors. Still, it could cause serious issues for him if all magic users in Camelot started to approach him.

Arthur had been a bit moody. Now that they were encroaching on their kingdom he had to refrain from touching Merlin. He was still trying to work out how they would behave around each other now. He couldn’t possibly return to hiding his feelings for Merlin away again. It had been agony the first time, and now that he knew what it felt like to have Merlin’s lips against his own he simply could not forget that. He never wanted to.

Merlin titled his sleepy face towards Arthur who was laid out on his bedroll.

Arthur looked over at him fondly before bracing himself for the answer to his question “I’ve noticed in your tales of magic you’ve had to lie to protect yourself from being found out multiple times.” Merlin nodded, trying to wake himself up a bit more to focus on the conversation but struggling to keep his eyes open “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“I don’t blame you, Merlin. It was all you could do to stay alive.” Arthur started then sat up so that he was facing Merlin fully “Still, it has called into question one incident and I would like you to tell me the truth, Merlin. You will not be in any trouble.”

Merlin now looked more awake as he sat up straighter, “that sounds ominous.”

Arthur blew a breath out his nose and shook his head, feeling dread already filling his chest “It wasn’t meant to. Quite the opposite. I’ve just… always had a feeling that you lied to protect me. That what Morgause said about my mother…” he trailed off and looked to Merlin beseechingly.

Merlin bit his lip and crossed his arms over his chest. “She only told you that so you would kill Uther for her.” Merlin said firmly. Arthur sighed loudly, tiredly. “Merlin, I trust you with my very being. I need to know the truth and I want it to be from your lips so that I know it is the honest truth.”

Merlin bit his lip even harder then sighed “Yes… what she told you and showed you was the truth… but Arthur. I couldn’t let you kill your father like that. You would have regretted it the moment he fell and what’s more, Morgause would have struck while you were grieving and taken Camelot.”

Arthur looked at the fire, his jaw clenched tightly.

Merlin waited for an outburst, anger and accusations. But Arthur simply turned to him with a hard look in his eyes “You let me believe that that man I call Father was justified in his hatred of magic. You made me hate magic more than I had already.” Merlin nodded, “And I’d do it again if it saved you from making the biggest mistake you could ever make.”

“The Oracle’s prophecy has been fulfilled. How are you to know that it is not my destiny to gut that hypocritical, hateful man? I would be king, I would bring magic back to Camelot and be with you without worry, for I would make the laws.” Even as he spoke the words Merlin saw the moisture in his eyes. Tears his Prince would not let fall. He got up and went and sat down at his Prince’s side. They were pressed thigh to thigh, hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder. Merlin laid his head on the tense shoulder of his Prince and breathed in the smell of him.

“Sometimes you just have to wait and see what happens, Sire.”

Arthur laid his head atop Merlin’s “How long shall you have me wait then?” Arthur asked feigning annoyance

Merlin smiled “How about a fortnight?”

Arthur groaned, “Maddening is what you are.”

“Impatient is what you are.” Merlin parroted back and gasped in surprise when he was wrestled backwards onto Arthur’s bedroll.

*****

Turns out a fortnight was not how long they had to wait see what would happen. As the two of them crossed along the path of Camalots farmland moving ever closer to the city and the castle beyond it, they were met by Leon and other Knights. Grave expressions on all their faces.

“Sire, we were on our way to search for you.”

“What has happened.” Arthur demanded and Leon bowed his head respectfully “It is the King. He has been mortally wounded by Morgause under the cover of night. He is not expected to live much longer.”
Arthur turned and stared at Merlin for a moment then back to Leon. “Take me to him.”

****

Arthur stood over his father on his deathbed. Fists clenched at his side but maintaining an expressionless face. Uther was breathing raggedly and was unconscious. He would be dead within the hour. Arthur had seen many men die in his lifetime, he had even seen several die from the same wound his Father had. A single deep stab to the left side. His bleeding was not controllable and he would soon bleed out. Gaius and Merlin both stood at his side with the occasional servant coming in and out. Taking blood soaked rags and replacing them with fresh ones. He was tempted to tell them not to waste perfectly fine linen on a dying man but thought better of it.

On an interval of an unknown servant not being in the chambers, Arthur turned to Merlin who jumped a little as if Arthur were about to yell at him. The Prince who was soon to be king shook his head and spoke softly “are you able to reach out to them someway? Morgause and Morgana?” Merlín looked around as if he was worried someone would be listening, even casting a worried glance at the king but gave a hesitant nod “I haven’t tried but I’m sure I could figure it out. Why?”

“I would like to talk to them within an hour of my father’s death. Can you do that?”

“Arthur…”

“Well? Can you?” Arthur asked sharply and Merlin narrowed his eyes but still nodded “yes, sire.”

Arthur looked back down at his father, a man he had loved but now only felt dispar looking upon him “Good.”

****A*****M*******

Epilogue

Merlín sat on the edge of Morgana’s bed, something he had never thought he would do ever again. Before Morgause, Merlín liked to think that she and him had been close. She hasn’t known about his magic but he had known of hers and they had spoken of it with the door to her chambers closed. Gwen used to have the rediculous idea that he had a crush on Morgana but Arthur had sure clarified that matter hadn’t he?

It had now been a full seven months since Uther’s death. Now in the spring the castle felt as if his ghosts had finally left them and his dread no longer hung over the kingdom’s head.

Morgana emerged from the other room with Gwen. Now changed into a breathtaking dark green dress, she smiled brightly at Merlin and he smiled just as brightly back as he stood.

“Gwen, why haven’t you changed?” Merlin asked and his friends looked a little guilty “oh, Merlin, I appreciate the thought it’s just-“

“Gwen thinks she won’t be welcome because she is a servant.” Morgana told Merlín “I already told her that half of the guests will be.” Merlin gestured to himself, he was wearing an outfit he thought far too flashy for his own taste but that Arthur demanded he wore.

“Please Gwen? I know it’s not what you are used to but look at what Arthur’s got me wearing! I would be very happy if you joined me in this stuffy attire.”

Gwen snorted a laugh and rolled her eyes then looked to Morgana who smiled encouragingly. Her shoulders slump and she said “Okay okay, you’ve twisted my arm. I will wear the dress and look like a fool like you, Merlin.” He gave her a big grin “That’s the spirit!”

“Will you need help, dear?” Morgana asked but Gwen shook her head and withdrew to the other room to change. Leaving Morgana and Merlin alone.

She studied him carefully. She saw the magic licking around him like the flames of a fire. All magical beings could see just how powerful he was but none had seen his power quite like she had.

Morgause had not told Morgana that she had traveled to the castle and killed Uther. It wasn’t until several hours later that Morgana and been physically ripped from the castle Morgause and she had been living that she learned of her sister’s doing. Arthur had stood over her with his sword in hand and asked if she knew what Morgause had done. She was confused and upon looking around she saw she was in Camelot’s throne room surrounded by knights and members of the court but what had truly terrified her was Merlin.

Yes, Merlin had stood just behind and off to the side of Arthur and was looking straight at her and though his gaze had not held the hate she was expecting, she felt and saw the enormity of his power, could see down down down the roots of his magic directly tied to the stream of magic at the very core of the earth. It was beautiful and terrible and she didn’t hear a word that Arthur said to her because she could not pull her gaze from him. What had happened in the time she had been away? Much, it seemed.

Arthur had noticed her preoccupation with Merlin and gestured for him to come forward, to stand at his side. Merlin had crouched down to where Morgana sat and offered her a hand. She had backed away but then Merlin had smiled “It’s okay, Morgana. Things are going to be different now.”

She had taken his hand hesitantly and then rose to her feet. First looking to Merlin and then to her brother. It was then the she felt Merlin’s power on Arthur. Not as a charm or spell… but as a gift. A gift that only those with strong magic could recognize. Merlin belonged to Arthur and Merlin had claimed Arthur by giving him a piece of himself.

It was going to be different indeed.

She learned later that when Morgause was brought before Arthur, she had tried to strike him down. But Merlin had waved a hand and sent her lightening right back to her. It had not killed her, but it had left her bad off. Arthur had calmly listed her crimes off and sentenced her to banishment, turning to Merlin and asking him to transport her as far away from Camelot as possible. Now Merlin had taken Morgana on as an apprentice. Morgause and the priestesses of the old Religion had taught her much but Merlin somehow knew so much more. When asked how he had found and brought Morgana back to Camelot that day seven months ago he had shrugged and looked to think very deeply “sometimes I just think about something really hard and then it happens.”

She was also elected an advisor to Arthur’s court same as Merlin and the both of them helped Arthur bring magic back to Camelot without letting magic users run rampant and uncontrolled.The only stipulation to her presence in Camelot was that she cut ties with Morgause and pledge her loyalty to King Arthur. She had readily agreed. Her main problem with Camelot had been Uther and his ban on magic now both were done away with and she would gladly return home. She had missed the comforts of court life as well as Gwen. She had even missed Arthur a bit.

“Merlin, what are you so worried about? I think you look dashing in formalwear.” She teased and he slumped even further into himself “Morgana, please. I’m on the verge of ripping this whole outfit to shreds and going to bed early.”

“Awe, but Arthur specifically requested that outfit for you.” She tried, looking in her vanity mirror to adjust her hair.

“Yes, as he has in the past to get a good laugh out of me looking like a fool.”

“Honestly Merlin, how can you not tell the difference between then and now?” She looked back to him and put her hands on her hips. He looked unsure. She approached him, but kept her distance. In the past she would have put a hand on his shoulder but she was still just the slightest bit scared of his power. “If Arthur was having a laugh he wouldn’t be dressing you in the most expensive fabrics made now would he?”

Merlin’s mouth dropped open and he looked down at the outfit he had been fitted with. Looking equal parts mortified that he was wearing an outfit more expensive than Morgana’s but also that the dreaded print he loathed so much was the most expensive in the kingdom. Morgana couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. Just as Gwen emerged looking lovely and her light green dress that paired well with her mistress’.

“That is it. I am not going!” Merlin declared. Gwen stomped her foot in protest. “Merlin! I am literally wearing this gown because of you! The least you could do is attend your own party!”

Merlin threw up his hands “I told Arthur this was all too much! It’s just my birthday and I’m just-“

“The Court Sorcerer and the King’s Consort.”
“-a servant!”

All three turned with the voice that had corrected Merlin from the doorway. Arthur stood in the doorway of Morgana’s chambers. “I would have knocked but I heard Merlin having a melt down over the party again from out in the hall and thought I’d intervene.” He have a slight bow to Morgana and Gwen who politely curtsied “Lady Morgana, Gwen, you both look lovely.”

“As do you, dear brother. And pay it no mind. I myself cannot seem to get him to see reason. Maybe you will have better luck?”

“Traitor.” Merlin mumbled in her direction before Arthur put both hands on Merlin’s shoulders and looked him over “What is your issue with the ceremonial dressing gowns? I think they make you look more like a normal person and less like a cave dweller like you usually do.”

Merlin glared at the creeping smile on Arthur’s face. The King looked rather pleased with himself and a pleased Arthur usually meant bad news for Merlin. “You think you are just hilarious, don’t you?”
“Yes, I suppose I do.” Arthur answered passively, only making Merlin burn hotter. “Well you are going to look rather dull when you go to the banquet and tell everyone that your sorcerer died of embarrassment and that the party is canceled.”
Merlin threw himself back on Morgana’s bed with a dramatic sigh. Arthur shook his head and looked to the two women watching the most powerful warlock to have ever lived throw a toddler worthy temper tantrum about his party clothes. Really, Arthur did not know what had broke in his brain to allow him to fall in love with such a man child.

“Ladies we will join you in a moment, would you mind waiting in the hall?” Morgana and Gwen bowed slightly as the made their way to the chamber entrance but not before Morgana calle back “A quick reminder boys; this is my room and those are satin sheets.” Then the door was shut.

Merlin sighed loudly “God I hate that woman sometimes. The places her mind jumps to.”

Merlin glanced in Arthur’s direction only to find his king removing his tunic baring his well muscled chest and eyeing Merlin.

The Sorcerer shot straight upright “Arthur! What in the gods are you doing!?” He screamed followed soon by banging on the door and Morgana yelling “Satin Sheets, Arthur!”

Arthur rolled his eyes in the well practiced way of his and approached Merlin “Don’t be such a girl, Merlin. I am swapping tunics with you.”

Merlin stared at the tunic thrust into his face then at Arthur “What? Why?”
Arthur looked ready to strangle him but he took a deep breath and plastered on a very scary smile “Were you or were you not just complaining about yours? This is my solution. You wear mine and I will wear yours. They will be Ill fitting but if it is what it will take to get you to attend a banquet I prepared in your honor than so be it.”

Well, when he put it like that, it made Merlin sound like an insane person. Arthur had gone through all this trouble for him and all Merlin had done is complain and say he would not go.

“Look, I’m sorry Arthur. I’m just not used to all this… lavishness. I know you worked hard to do all this for me it’s just… it’s overwhelming.”

Arthur sat on the bed beside him and put a hand on Merlin’s thigh. “If you could do anything for your birthday, what would you do, Merlin?”
Arthur asked patiently. Merlin grinned at him, “Stay in bed all day and have sex with my King.”

Arthur snorted, looking away with a bit of a blush at Merlin’s blunt answer.

“What if I told you if you attend this banquet we can do just that tomorrow?” Arthur grinned at how excited Merlin suddenly got. The Sorcerer shot up off the bed, snatching the tunic from Arthur’s hand on the way.

“I’d say why didn’t you say so earlier?” Merlin laughed and started removing his own tunic. Arthur cocked an eyebrow at him so Merlin explained “I’ll go to the banquet but only if you still let me wear your tunic. Here.” He threw the one he loathed at Arthur who caught it as he approached Merlin.

His hands found Merlin’s thin waist “You maddening man.” Merlin smiled at him and leaned in when Arthur kissed him. His breath catching as he felt his king's fingertips brush the small scar on his chest. It was where the gold band Arthur now never took off of his finger had jutted up out of his skin all those months ago. Arthur was rather fond of the particular scar and often paid it more attention than Merlin liked. But the warlock knew where Arthur went when he thought of that scar. Not of pain and loss it had brought but of Merlin’s clumsy love confession. Merlin broke the kiss only to press a smaller one to the edge of his King’s mouth, then one to his nose and then one to his long lashes, oh and one to his check-

“Merlin, you are being more ridiculous than normal.” Arthur stated but started to leave little ridiculous kisses on Merlin’s face right back making them both laugh at the stupidness of it all “Admit it, Arthur. You love
My ridiculousness. You can’t get enough of it.” To punctuate his point Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hands and moved them until they were both on his ass. As payback, Arthur gave him a harsh squeeze that he realized belatedly was not payback but exactly what Merlin wanted him to do as the other moaned obscenely. Arthur back away immediately. He did well to remember Morgana’s call of ‘satin sheets!’.

“I do love you, despite your ridiculousness. Now come on. Put on my tunic so we can be done with this party and discuss your ridiculousness further in our chambers.”

Arthur had never seen Merlin dress faster.

****

Merlín lay awake long after the party and it’s promised shannangins afterwards had ended. He was laying on his stomach with his king half draped over him like a big, hot, and sweaty blanket. He was thinking of the past few months and how this time the prior year if you had told him that he would be here having just done that (he look up and over to Arthur’s face smushed into his shoulder blade and snoring like an ogre) he would have thought you were telling a very unfunny joke. But so much had changed in just a few months.

When The Oracle had a vision for the future they moved things along quickly, didn’t they? For a being that only made a prophecy once every thousand years they sure wanted things done promptly. Not the Merlin was outright complaining. He was very happy with his new, big, hot, sweaty blanket that could wake the entire castle with that snore.

Merlin’s gaze shifted to Arthur’s hand laying on bed beside the warlock’s face and the band he boldly wore on his marriage finger. The Sorcerer felt that ache in his chest, the one he had always felt looking at his Prince but now understood as he looked at his King. He loved Arthur. Badly. An aching love that they both felt. Merlin closed his eyes and felt his own magic in Arthur’s ring. His own heart beating for the man he had given it to.