Chapter Text
Henry had been a mistake. He had been conceived on the night of a raucous college party that left both Ted and Michelle incredibly hungover the next day. The two weren’t exactly over the moon when they found out, but they weren’t absolutely petrified either. They had been dating for over a year at that point, and Ted was just madly in love with Michelle. Michelle, on the other hand, found that she loved Ted, but that he was often just a bit too much for her. With anxiety of her own to deal with, being in the room with someone who seemed to never enjoy any sort of silence was…a struggle, to say the least. But Ted was a gentleman, and of course, when they decided they would keep the baby, he thought it would be a good idea to get married. Michelle, scared of the idea of being a single mom left out to dry while her child’s father went about his life as if nothing had even happened, agreed. But that was really the only reason why she agreed.
It didn’t take long for the cracks to begin to show. Eventually, even Ted’s kindness and optimism became irritating and angering. His seemingly constant inability to ever let himself really, really get truly angry, his inability to sit down and have a serious conversation. At first, Michelle thought that maybe this was just what it was like in your mid-twenties, especially for men. Her mother kept reminding her, “The brain doesn’t finish developing until you’re 25, sweetie! He just needs time!” Twenty-five came and went and the same problems were still there. It wasn’t just Ted, either. Michelle tended to have a bit of a short-fuse, and she would often overreact to things that were minor and underreact to things that were major. It just wasn’t working. They were both beginning to get sick of each other. When the job offer from AFC Richmond came in, Michelle and Ted both seemed to relax. There was really no way he could turn the offer down, and the two of them both knew that, even with their nearly 8 year old son.
The divorce didn’t come as a surprise to either of them. It was time, as much as Ted didn’t want to believe it. He often tried to remind himself of Michelle’s words to him as they stood out on the curb the night she left him for the last time with a wedding ring on both of their hands. She had said, “You aren’t quitting, you’re just letting me go.” She was right, and he often allowed himself to find some semblance of comfort in remembering that.
His time in Richmond had truly changed his life and changed him. He knew just as well as Beard and Michelle that there was no way in heck he ever would have managed to get himself professional help if he had spent those years living in the American midwest coaching an American football team. He also knew that he had met some incredibly spectacular and special people during his time in England. But when it was time to go home, it was time to go home.
For the first year or so back in Kansas, everything had been pretty good. He and Michelle had worked out a co-parenting schedule that worked for them and Henry. Surprisingly, Ted had managed to keep in touch with most of his friends over in England, texting or calling Rebecca and Higgins every now and then and casually participating in the team group chat that many of the Richmond players had created for him when he left. The second year back was tougher. Ted had started drinking again, and it took him getting drunk one evening when he had Henry at his apartment for the weekend for him to realize that it was a problem. He missed England, he missed his friends over there, but most of all, he missed the strong sense of consistent purpose. Ever since he had come back, all he had really done was be with Henry and coach youth soccer. After taking some time to work through the alcoholism with a new therapist in Kansas (who he still didn’t like as much as Dr. Sharon), he started to find more healthy routines. He began working for his town’s youth football and soccer teams, which all played their games near his apartment, which allowed him to walk to and from work just like he had in England, and once he was comfortable with his sobriety, he picked up a job at a local sports bar. Ted began baking again, and started selling his baked goods on the side from time to time, mostly to people who lived in his apartment complex, because he learned very quickly that as much as baking calmed him, it also produced a lot more food than he could ever hope to eat before it all went bad. In time, Ted decided to try going back to the college football scene, and ended up spending the majority of his time in Kansas after that decision working as a wide receiver and running back coach.
As Henry got older, so did Ted and Michelle, and for about three months when Henry was about 12, Ted and Michelle did try to get back together again. They hid it as much as they possibly could from Henry, and for the most part, they were successful, thank God, because it just didn’t work out. But Ted had been happy that they had tried. And Michelle actually had been happy that they had given it a go again, too. There had been other women in Ted’s life over the years between Henry’s 10th and 18th birthdays, but none of them seemed to last that long. The longest one had been with a woman named Amelia, who Ted had met about 4 months after returning to Kansas. They lasted nearly a year until Henry turned 11 and she realized she just didn’t want to be with a man who had a son. Ted sometimes still felt angry at her for dragging things out for as long as she did for all the doubts that she had. And he felt even angrier at himself for not ending things earlier. Then there had been an Angela who lasted maybe 3 weeks, and that was after Ted and Michelle’s 3 month redo. And then there was a Christine who lasted 2 and a half months, another Michelle (who went by Elle, thank God) who lasted 1 month, and then lastly, a Hannah that lasted no more than 5 days. At first, Ted found the short length of most of the relationships that he had attempted frustrating, just wanting so desperately to be happy and in love again, but as time passed, he actually began to find confidence in the way that he was able to enjoy a casual relationship with a woman and then part ways when the time was right for the both of them. It had also taken him time to realize that he did not necessarily need to involve Henry in every relationship he chose to enter into. In fact, out of the 5 women (6 if you counted Michelle) he had seen over the past 9 years, only 3 or 4 of them had really been a part of Henry’s life.
For the first 5 or 6 years of his absence from Richmond, he had kept in touch with everyone, but the contact became more inconsistent and spotty by year 6, and by year 7, he had stopped talking to most of his English friends altogether (and it wasn’t like Ted had a bunch of unanswered texts or emails, either). He still kept up with AFC Richmond, though he never bought any new merchandise as new players came and old ones left. He tried to keep track of Sam Obisanya and Jamie Tartt as much as he could, but eventually somewhere after Sam’s third transfer and Jamie’s fourth loan spell, he just couldn’t keep track anymore.
There had been two exceptions to his lack of contact, though, and they had been Beard (obviously) and Sassy. His relationship with Sassy was quite unusual, actually. He had tried to explain it to Michelle a few times when she would inevitably ask him if he had romantic feelings for her every few years and no matter how he explained it, it just didn’t seem to make sense to anyone except for them. Their relationship wasn’t really a relationship at all. Looking at their text message history, they rarely had conversations. For the past 9 years, the thread consisted mostly of messages akin to journal entries, except they revolved around both of their experiences of divorce and change, and this had been an agreement the two had made shortly before he left as a support system for the both of them. For example, one of their first exchanges had taken place right after he returned home to Kansas in May of 2015.
June 2, 2015
Hey Ted. How are things going today? I decided to walk to
Nora’s school to pick her up today instead of driving and I
think it might have been a mistake. It was kind of difficult
to see all of the happy families picking up their kids. Gosh,
sometimes I feel like such an idiot for caring since I know
Nora is happy and so am I but it just makes me wonder,
“What if?”
Hey Sass. Things have been going pretty smoothly here…I think.
Hah. It’s been weird living in the guest bedroom of a house I
helped pick out and purchase…did you ever have any experience
like that…? Like where you were kicked to the couch or something
because you were still figuring out a living situation? It feels so
weird sometimes. The other night, Dr. Jacob came over to pick up
Michelle for a date. I was going to be watching Henry and holy moly
I felt like a babysitter. I didn’t know where anything really was–had
to ask Henry to help me find the bandaids when he got a paper cut
while we were doing origami and I felt genuinely out of place walking
through the master bedroom into the en-suite to get them from the drawer
under the sink. Enough about my stuff, though. I hear you. I went to
pick up Henry from his new soccer camp for the first time my first
week home and they had to call Michelle because she forgot to give
the camp staff a scan of my driver’s license even though I was on the list
so they wouldn’t let me take him. All around me were these happy couples
with their kids and there I was being stared at.
Crud. I’m making this about me. I’m sorry, Sass. Gosh, I’ve just got
a lot on my mind and I’ve really been procrastinating on finding
a new therapist. To answer your text, yes, I definitely relate to that
feeling for so many reasons…
Ted, it’s really okay. Don’t worry. Remember what I
told you when you tried asking me out that time?
I’m a little further out from my divorce than you.
Things are a bit more raw for you still. I hear you.
I wish I could tell you I relate to having to live with
your ex in the home you picked out together but I am
also grateful that I can’t…that sounds…gosh. I don’t
even know, Ted. That just sounds really hard. I have
definitely had the whole, “You cannot pick up your
child,” thing happen, though. For a while, I had a
family friend take Nora to and from school because
of my job and so I gave the school her contact
information for pick-up purposes even though I was
her parent and emergency contact on every single
other form under the sun. One day, I just really
wanted to come get her and take her out for ice cream
or something because she kept telling me about how
some of the other kids moms and dads would come
and eat lunch with them during lunchtime and she
sounded so jealous. They wouldn’t even let me go see
her. I think I cried in the parking lot outside for an hour
before I went back in and got everything sorted out.
Then I got ice cream for myself. Hah!
Their last text chain, which was dated over a week ago, went as follows:
May 6, 2023
Henry and Michelle want me to come back to England. I never
thought I’d see the day. Henry is getting ready to come over
because he’s going to be attending Richmond American
University in London. Of course, as you know, I was always
going to come with him to help and maybe to go revisit some
of the old haunts but they seem like they want me to stay. I can’t
decide if it’s because they want to get rid of me or if they really
want me to but God I think I want to. I know I’ve not really
mentioned it a whole lot over the years but I’ve always
thought about going back once Henry turned 18. There are many
mornings over the past 9 years that I have woken up just missing
it all horribly. I never stopped thinking about Rebecca either. I
remember thinking to myself a few days before I left Richmond for
Kansas that she was my soulmate, but it just wasn’t the right
time…for either of us, I think. I know I’ve told you this before
maybe once or twice. This is a really different type of text than the
ones I usually send so it’s okay if you really don’t have anything
to say about it. But I’m curious to hear any of your thoughts.
May 7, 2023
Hey Ted! It’s nice to hear from you again since it
has been a little while! My heart nearly beat of
my chest when I read the preview of your text this
morning when I woke up! Eek! You’ve no idea
how happy it makes me to hear that you’re going to
be in town again even if it’s just temporary. There
are so many people here who would still be so happy
to see you even though I know it’s been a while
since you’ve spoken with them…especially Rebecca!
But you haven’t been back since you left, so my
opinion is to wait on making any big decision until
you’ve come over with Henry. Just see how
everything feels, right? Make sure it’s the same way
you think it will be maybe? I think the fact that you’ve
been thinking about moving back even since you left
suggests you’ll probably be quite alright, though, haha!
And I do remember you mentioning it once or twice, too.
I know that you missed Rebecca badly when you had
left, and she missed you a great deal, too. I know that you
guys kept in touch for about 3 or 4 years and that she was
the first person that started to stop responding so quickly,
and naturally, you began to do the same back. I do remember
you telling me how you felt about her a few times over the
years, and I often have thought that she probably had the same
thought about you especially after you guys stopped speaking
to each other but I never really brought it up with her because
in all honesty, I wasn’t sure how she would feel knowing that
you and I speak at such length and with such consistency. If I’m
being honest with myself, though, I think she’d probably
understand. Please don’t worry about your message being
different than usual–this is a different situation that you are in
right now! All I would ask is that you don’t come back just for her,
but I don’t think you would do that anyway. You’ll tell me when
you’re coming over, right?!
May 9, 2023
Sass, I can’t tell you how nice it was reading your response to me.
It really meant a lot, especially since we haven’t spoken in depth too
much in the past few months. And I’m also really happy to hear
your thoughts. I think that you’re 100% correct about just trying it
out first. I think my plan will be to give Beard and you a ring once
Henry and I have a flight booked. I’m going to pack up my
apartment before we go so that if I do make the decision to stay,
I’ll just have to come back and get everything shipped over instead
of having to spend a week or two packing. Unpacking is always easier.
Of course I wouldn’t come and stay just because of Rebecca…
unless she gets down on one knee and just immediately proposes to me
right then and there. That’s just too corny and cliche for a Lasso
to refuse. ;) Somehow I don’t feel like that will happen though. XD
Hah, that would be too much for you to resist, I agree.
And also highly unlikely knowing Rebecca. But she
can be very soft when she wants to be, don’t forget that.
Have you thought about letting any of the others know
you’re coming?
Honestly, I haven’t really thought about letting anyone else know
because it’s just been so long since I’ve talked to any of them…I
feel like I’d be a really fake friend if I just called someone like
Roy after 4 and a half years of not talking and was like, “Howdy!
I’ll be in town next week! Want to go out for a pint?”
I hear you on that one. I think it might not be a bad idea
to let them know that you might be coming. Maybe see
if there is any excited and invested response from any of
them and that way you don’t feel like you’ve lied by not
telling anyone but you also don’t feel any obligation to go
see anyone you don’t want to. I honestly don’t know. But
if you want to make sure you have someone’s most recent
phone number because you’re not sure, just shoot me a
text!
Thanks, Sass. Will do.
Sassy was right to suggest giving some people a call or a text. Ted couldn’t help but laugh at himself when he realized how foolish it would have been to just show up in England and expect to be able to see the people he would want to see without making any plans. Thankfully, though, Beard saved him the trouble. Ted had called Beard and Sassy as promised to inform them both of his flight information and where he would be staying while he was helping Henry get settled. He would be flying in during the second to last week of May and returning to Kansas during mid to late June. While talking with Beard, Ted had asked Beard for advice on how to handle reaching out to some of his old friends and Beard had mentioned to him that Rebecca had invited him to Richmond’s end of season get together that was happening on May 31, just a few days after the last match of the season. Beard had moved on from coaching at Richmond and was instead working as a groundskeeper (but was still very much present in the locker room) which he managed to enjoy seemingly as much as he enjoyed coaching. Beard told Ted that he would bring him along as his mysterious plus-one instead of Jane which would also allow Ted a way out if he decided he didn’t want to come (although Jane seemed incredibly excited at the prospect of not having to go to one for once). Ted had initially expressed some concerns about surprising them, citing that it had been so long since he’d spoken with many people, many of the players were no longer on the team, and that it had been even longer since he’d actually ever been on English soil. Beard reassured him by saying he’d make sure that Higgins, Roy, and the current players knew. It would be a surprise to everyone else, though…