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Starting out life again, alone, is… hard.
‘Hard’ is a soft way to put it.
It’s terrible.
Peter knows he isn’t entirely alone, since he still has Happy. But he doesn’t remember him, and quite literally no one else remembers him, either. Peter also doesn’t want to meddle in their lives again after the chaos that he caused. After… he killed May.
Maybe things are better this way. If he’s not remembered.
Peter is waiting for his order at Delmar’s, who also treats him like every other customer, and not an old friend. Peter is checking his phone to distract himself while the sandwich is not ready. As usual, not a single new text besides one from Happy that he’s going to be away for the next few days, asking if Peter is going to be okay. The teen, like the liar that he is, says that he will be.
He wants to cry.
Right here, right now.
“Excuse me, are you waiting in line?”
Peter looks back in surprise, seeing a taller man with short, brown curls, and wearing a band t-shirt he doesn’t know, as well as orange headphones around his neck. The latter suddenly looks concerned and confused.
“Whoa, are you okay?” He asks.
Peter only stares at him in shock, saying just one word:
“... Star-Lord?”
The other’s eyes widen.
“What?”
“Star-Lord, what- what are you doing here? I thought you were in space?”
“I- I’m sorry, who are you?”
The question breaks Peter’s hopes and dreams again. He should’ve known better than to get excited.
“I’m…” he gulps, “Peter. Parker.”
As he avoids the other’s eyes, Peter senses a hand standing out to him, to shake on it.
“You can call me Peter, too.”
The teen manages to smirk. “That’s going to be confusing.”
“Then call me Quill, if you want.”
Finally, Peter is shaking Quill’s hand, feeling a little better with the reassuring smile the latter is giving him.
“Now, Peter,” Quill releases his hand. “How do you know the almighty Star-Lord?”
“Oh, uh… We… kind of battled Thanos together.”
“Thanos? Really?”
“Yeah! I remember you, and that guy with knives, the blue lady with black eyes, the bug lady…” Peter lists. “And I remember you guys talking about a… Gamora?”
Quill’s expression suddenly falls at the mention of her, but not entirely sad. It’s more melancholic and nostalgic.
“Wow. How come I don’t remember you, then?”
Peter sighs. “It’s a long story.”
Quill hums. Suddenly, Delmar is back with Peter’s order and he asks the other’s. As Quill orders his sandwich, Peter awkwardly waits, probably knowing Quill is going to leave soon. He just really needed a friendly face.
“So… how come you’re here?” Peter asks when Delmar is gone.
“Oh, the Guardians kind of… split.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. We thought we might go separate ways. We still keep in touch, though.”
“Oh, that’s good.”
I wish I could keep in touch with my friends, too , Peter wants to add, but doesn’t.
“And… I thought you were from Missouri?” He says instead.
“I am, but I thought I might do some traveling. Get to know my home planet better, you know?”
Peter nods, falling in silence.
“So, what have you been doing, Peter?” Quill asks the usual adult questions.
“Nothing much.” He knows there’s no one else in the store right now, but he doesn’t want Delmar to know that he’s Spider-Man.
“Hm.” Quill sounds suspicious.
Right on time, his order arrives. Peter already braces for his departure, knowing he might just want to go on with his life rather than listen to a hopeless teenager.
“Are you… doing anything after this?” Quill wonders.
“W-Why?”
“Ah, you know, we could hang out, talk hero to hero.” The man also implies, I know you might need it .
“Oh. Is- Is that okay?”
“Sure!” Quill smiles. “What do you think, then?”
“I- I’d love to,” Peter laughs nervously.
“Great.” After they pay their orders, Quill is wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Let’s get outta here.”
“... and then everyone’s memories were wiped, now no one remembers me, so I’m trying to live on my own and start things fresh again.”
Their paper bags have been emptied two hours ago, Peter speaking like an actual chatterbox. Quill, for some reason, doesn’t seem impatient nor cocky like the first time they met.
“You’re completely on your own, then?” Quill asks, frowning.
“Not really. I still have Happy, who was Mr. Stark’s best friend. But he doesn’t actually remember me, he mainly looks after me because of Aunt May. And he’s going to be away for a couple days and I said it’d be fine. It’s- It’s fine.”
“I don’t think it’s fine, Peter. Having no friends or family… I think that might be the worst thing to happen to someone.”
Peter bites his lip. “I mean… my friends are still out there. They were accepted into MIT. Which is nice. But I thought… After everything I did to them, I don’t want them to get hurt again. Maybe it’s best if I let them go, y’know?”
“But it’s not fair to you, buddy.”
Peter wants to cry again.
“I…” his voice gets wet. “I miss everyone. I miss MJ, I miss Ned, Aunt May… I-I miss Mr. Stark and- and my Uncle Ben…” he sniffs. “I keep losing everyone I love. And I’m so tired.”
He feels bad crying to someone who sees him like a stranger, but Peter can’t keep it in anymore.
Quill doesn’t complain.
If anything, he’s opening an arm for Peter to lie on.
So, the teenager does.
It’s so weird, receiving comfort like this from a guy Peter doesn’t know that much. All he remembers is them being snarky to each other and fighting Thanos, with the destiny of the universe in their very hands.
Quill comforts him, cursed with knowledge, too.
Peter realizes… he must still regret screwing up and allowing Thanos to snap half of the universe into dust. Quill must have lost people, too. Like Gamora. Now, he’s back home, trying to start fresh, too.
Peter doesn’t need to ask to know all these answers.
“I’m sorry you went through so much shit, Pete,” Quill exhales.
The boy sniffs timidly. “Yeah.”
They sit on a park bench, the sunny day blessing the town. It’s not too hot, though, and it’s the kind of temperature Peter likes due to his spider-senses. Not too cold, but not scalding, either.
“We all need someone,” Quill says. “We need, and we deserve someone.”
Peter is slowly released so they’re looking at each other.
“You can count on me, Peter,” Quill smiles, determined.
“But… you barely know me,” the other says, lying.
“Nah, I do. More than you think.”
Indeed, he does.
“But don’t you live far away from here?”
“I literally have a spaceship, kid, faster than an airplane. And if I can’t make it for any reason…” Quill is picking something from his pocket. “You can call me.”
… except it’s a super old phone and he’s taking forever to get to the contacts app. Peter can’t help laughing.
“Oh my god, you’re worse than Uncle Ben,” he mocks.
“Hey, go easy on me. I’ve been away for like, twenty years.”
Peter instead takes the phone and registers the number himself or else it might take forever. Quill is a really slow typer for someone who just texts him “hi”.
“I don’t get it, you’re literally Star-Lord,” Peter insists. “Didn’t you use tech like this in space?”
“Trust me, it’s not the same thing. For one, it’s not this tiny.”
Peter snorts. “Okay, then.”
“I do have this, though.”
Quill takes something else and reveals…
“A Zune? I haven’t seen one of those in years .”
“Really? That old?”
“Super old.”
“Ouch.”
Peter laughs.
“Do you… want to try?” Quill offers.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I promise, all the great taste in music is right here.”
Peter rolls his eyes with a grin. He takes it with care and wears the headphones, listening to the first song in the playlist. A calmer, acoustic tune, reminding him of a time things were easier, even if he’s not familiar with the song.
If anything, it reminds him of someone.
Tony.
Now that he thinks of it, Quill and Tony would get along well if they had the chance.
He feels sad by the thought, but he doesn’t break down again. The song brings him a sense of comfort despite the mourning. Not to mention that Quill is next to him, making sure he’s not alone.
When the day is nearing its end, Quill lends his Zune to Peter. Something that Peter knows means the world to him. He wants to reject it, but with Quill’s insistence, wanting him to remember he has a friend out there that knows who Peter Parker is…
At night, Peter is still listening to music.
With the biggest smile on his face.