Chapter Text
It started out a normal day at the agency. Dazai was late so Kunikida was shouting and cursing him out. Atsushi was trying to calm him down whilst Ranpo ate his sweets unbothered. However, this all changed within a few seconds as a bright light obscured the office and blinded them all senseless.
When Atsushi blinked his eyes open again after the bright light had dispersed, he was in a large room that looked like a theatre. There was a huge black screen at the front and rows of seats taking up the rest of the space. Looking around, he spotted Kunikida and Ranpo standing near him. They seemed dazed but fine nonetheless. The weretiger breathed a sigh of relief at seeing his friends safe but was still confused about what happened.
"Kunikida-san? What happened?" The light-haired asked "I don't know, brat. Did everyone else see that bright flash of light?" Kunikida replied "Yeah, we saw it alright. It could have been some teleportation ability but I can't tell for sure." Ranpo said frowning "It could be a trap. Everyone, be on guard." The idealist said glancing around the room suspiciously. Atsushi gave a nod before also looking around at the room. "Do you think this screen does anything-?" The weretiger was cut off by some people appearing next to him. Or more specifically, Akutagawa. "Huh? Where am I? Weretiger!?" Akutagawa exclaimed after taking in his surroundings "Akutagawa!? Where the hell did you come from!?" The light-haired yelped jumping away from the dark-haired "Me? Where did you come from? And where am I?" The mafioso questioned looking around and noticing Kunikida and Ranpo.
"We don't know where we are. A bright light appeared and when it disappeared we were here." Kunikida answered him "The same happened to me. Though I was with the Black Lizard." Akutagawa replied frowning in thought "It seems whoever brought us here also has access to Port Mafia members." Ranpo said. Before they all knew it, more people appeared in front of them. It was the Black Lizard; Hirotsu, Gin, Tachihara and Higuchi. "Eh? Where the fuck are we?!" Tachihara exclaimed "The Armed Detective Agency. Where are we?" Hirotsu demanded "We don't know." Atsushi told them "Akutagawa-senpai? You're here too?" Higuchi asked "Unfortunately. And it isn't the agency's fault surprisingly." Akutagawa replied.
"What do you mean 'surprisingly'?" Atsushi asked "You know what I mean, weretiger." The dark-haired sneered "You-" "Stop with the fighting, you two. We need to work together to get out of here." Ranpo interrupted. Atsushi nodded and Akutagawa huffed and turned away "I agree with the detective. We must work together in order to escape from whatever this place is." Hirotsu said. The rest of the Black Lizard silently agreed with the older. Suddenly, a light flashed again, much like the one that had appeared when they had been brought to the theatre, and many people appeared again. Much more than last time. It seemed that all of the Armed Detective Agency, Port Mafia, and Decay of Angels had beeen brought there. Not much later the light flashed again and Shibusawa, Ango, Fukuchi, Poe and Lucy appeared too. They were all extremely confused and dazed.
Some were angry and demanding explanations. "Oi! Where the hell are we!?" Chuuya yelled "What the hell is going on?" Yosano asked "Mori, is this your doing?" Fukuzawa questioned after spotting his old partner "No. Is it yours, Fukuzawa?" Mori replied "No." The grey-haired said "President!" Ranpo shouted running over to his boss "Ranpo? Do you know where we are?" The President asked as the shorter stopped in front of him"No. Atsushi, Kunikida and I were the first ones here. Then Akutagawa appeared and then the Black Lizard and now it seems like everyone else has." The brown-haired explained "Including terrorists it seems." Kunikida added coming over. He was indeed right. Fyodor, Nikolai and Shibusawa were in the room with them as well. "Well, isn't this interesting." Fyodor said smirking "You. I bet you did this, didn't you?" Chuuya growled noticing the russian.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." The dark-haired replied truthfully "He's telling the truth." Ranpo told them before the red head could pounce on Fyodor "Are you sure, Ranpo?" Fukuzawa asked eyeing the russian with suspicion and caution "Yup! Everyone here has no idea what's going on at all." The genius assured him. In the background, Chuuya was still glaring at the terrorist with suspicion and hate. "That is strange." The grey-haired hummed in thought "Hey, guys. Is Dazai-san here?" Atsushi asked the agency "I don't see him anywhere." They all looked around but no one could see their suicidal co-worker anywhere "I can't see him, Atsushi." Yosano said frowning "Weird. It's like everyone is here excpet him." Kunikida thought out loud "Well, it kind of makes sense. If this is an ability then it wouldn't work on Dazai-san, right?" Kyouka reminded them.
"Oh, yeah. Good point, Kyouka." Tanizaki said "At least Dazai will be safe then." Fukuzawa spoke up looking relieved "But we're not." Yosano added seriously "Nah, we'll be fine." Ranpo told them seemingly unbothered "How do you-" Yosano started but was cut off by a shout. The shout came from Atsushi who was kneeling down next to someone who was on the floor unconscious.
"Dazai-san!" He exclaimed trying to wake up the sleeping brunette "Wait- Dazai?" Kunikida questioned running over to where his partner was on the ground still not awake "The hell?" He whispered. The rest of the agency followed concerned about their co-worker "How is Dazai here? No abilities are supposed to work on him." Naomi asked confused "I don't think that matters as much right now. You know, since Dazai-san isn't waking up." Atsushi said panicking.
He grabbed his mentor's shoulders and started shaking them as Akutagawa came over too. Seeing Dazai, his face immediately turned panicked as well. "Dazai-san! Wake up!" Atsushi yelled "You're not doing it right, weretiger!" Akutagawa told him "Oh, really? Do you want to try, Akutagawa?" The weretiger asked annoyed "..." The mafioso went quiet "No? Thought so." The light-haired muttered going back to trying to wake up the brunette "Dazai-san!! Please! Wake up!" Atsushi screamed again. Kunikida moved forward to calm the boy down. Suddenly, the weretiger brought his hand down, effectively slapping his mentor accros his cheek harshly. "What the hell, weretiger!?" Akutagawa exclaimed furiously 'How dare he put his hands on Dazai-san!' "Atsushi!?" Kunikida yelled shocked at the younger's actions as everyone else was.
It seemed to work though as Dazai started groaning awake. He slowly blinked his eyes open and glanced around in confusion "W-Wha-? Where am I?" The brunette asked putting a hand to his head as if he had a headache. His eyes were blurry and unfocused "Thank god! Dazai-san, you're awake!" Atsushi said hugging his mentor in relief "Weretiger, let go of Dazai-san! You're going to hurt him!" Akutagawa shouted at his rival "A-Akutagawa? Atsushi-kun? W-What's going on?" Dazai questioned still confused "We've all been teleported to some kind of theatre. The Port Mafia, Decay Of Angels and some others are here as well. We thought it was an ability but it obviously isn't since you're here." Ranpo explained to the brunette.
"I find it concerning that Dazai was the only one who was unconscious. He still seems quite dazed as well." Yosano spoke up going full doctor mode "I agree. Dazai, what is the last thing you remember before waking up?" Fukuzawa asked "Uhhh, I was just walking on the street, I guess and a bright light appeared then I woke up here." The suicidal enthusiast shrugged "Just like the rest of us... How do you feel, Dazai?" Yosano asked "Drained, to be honest. I've never felt like this before." Dazai told her sitting up with the help of Atsushi who had finally unwrapped himself from his mentor "You should rest, Dazai. There are quite a lot of seats." Fukuzawa said gesturing to the rows upon rows of seats "Right. Thank you, President." The brunette nodded before being guided over to sit down.
"President, I really don't like this. Whoever or whatever brought us here isn't using an ability and managed to get incredibly dangerous people here." Kunikida said "Don't worry, Kunikida. Nothing bad is going to happen here." Ranpo spoke up "How do you know that, Ranpo-san?" The blonde asked "I know everything! I'm the world's greatest detective!" The brown-haired said confidently "Ranpo-kun?" A voice called out "Oh, hi, Poe! What are you doing here?" The genius replied casually "I don't know." The novel writer replied. He was standing not so far away from them with Karl sitting on his shoulder like normally. "Well, at least I have someone to talk to here." The detective grinned making his 'rival' blush a bit "Hey, Ranpo! Stop making your boyfriend blush." Yosano called out from where she was with Dazai who was still resting on the seats.
He looked like he was going to fall asleep again but was being kept awake by Atsushi making conversation with him. "B-Boyfriend?!" Poe exclaimed going red from embarassment "You're the one who's making him blush now, Yosano!" Ranpo yelled back. The purple-haired only stuck out her tongue in response. "R-Ranpo, do you know what's going on?" Poe asked timidly "Nope! But I'm sure we'll find out soon so don't worry." The brown-haired assured him "Ah, if you say so. There sure are a lot of people here," The racoon lover said glancing around nervously "And is your friend ok?" He pointed towards Dazai "Eh, he'll be fine." The genius waved him off.
Everyone else in the theatre were making conversation and also discussing what was happening. The only ones who had any idea about what was going on was Dazai, Fyodor and Ranpo. However, not even the three geniuses could tell exactly what was happening. Mostly because they were too busy dealing with the people around them. Fyodor dealing with Nikolai being chaotic, Dazai dealing with Atsushi worrying about him and his exhaustion and then Ranpo dealing with Poe on the verge of having a panic attack. The three had all noticed each other had also figured it out.
Without warning, a crackle of a microphone echoed throughout the room causing everyone to hault in their conversations and turn silent.
"Testing, testing. Hello? Can you guys hear me?" A voice called out from the ceiling.
"Who are you?" Chuuya demanded.
"Great, you can hear me." The voice said.
"Hi! I'm the one who brought all of you hear. You can call me Megumi. The one who spoke first was my friend, Arisu." The one called Megumi told them all.
"Why are we here, Megumi-san?" Fukuzawa asked.
"You're here to watch your lives!" Megumi exclaimed cheerfully.
Everyone went quiet again.
"Is that a joke?" Chuuya questioned.
"Nope! You're all here to watch your chaotic lives!" Arisu said in a similar cheerful tone to her friend.
"How is that possible?" Mori spoke up.
"..." No reply.
"Are you going to answer me?" He asked.
"..." Still no reply from either of their 'captors'.
"Oi! Answer the boss!" Chuuya shouted threateningly.
"Oh, sorry. I can't hear assholes so someone else will have to speak for the old man." Megumi replied in a neutral voice.
They all stood in shock at the disrespect that had just came from the girl. It was silent again until someone burst out laughing uncontrollably. Unsurprisingly, it was Dazai, Yosano and Elise. "Don't laugh at that, mackerel!" The red head executive yelled at his former partner. The brunette ignored the hat lover and continued to die of laughter as Mori pouted childishly.
"Alright! Does anyone have any questions?" Arisu asked changing the subject.
"Yes, how can you show our lives? That shouldn't be possible." Hirotsu asked "Ah, right. Well, we're gods." Arisu said seriously "Are you... serious?" Kunikida questioned "Not really. You probably shouldn't ask anything about how it's possible because I don't have an answer for you." The girl chuckled "Do you have an ability?" Ranpo asked.
"Nope. Nothing close to anything like that." Megumi answered for both of them "Oh! We forgot someone!" Arisu exclaimed "What do you mean we forgot someone-? Oh shit! You were supposed to remind me!" Megumi shouted.
"Uh, no. It was your job to get everyone here!"
"Pretty sure you were supposed to remind me."
"No, it wasn't!"
"Oh my god, now everything's going to be so awkward!"
"Who cares? The bad and good guys are in a room together, IT'S ALREADY FUCKING AWKWARD!"
"Good point..."
"Thank you."
As the girls' bickering slowed down, Atsushi and Akutagawa looked to each other lost. "What just happened?" Atsushi questioned "It sounded like something went wrong." Akutagawa replied "It sounded more like some kind of miscommunication." The weretiger said "Whatever you say." The dark-haired scoffed.
"Sorry about that guys but someone forgot to add a very important person so we're going to have to add them now." Megumi said "Don't try blame it on me again!" Arisu's angry voice rang out through the microphone again "ANYWAY! Heads up, Dazai and Ango, you might want to prepare yourselves. AND NO QUESTIONS FROM ANYONE ABOUT THIS." Megumi commanded them.
A bright light shined like when everyone else was teleported and a tall man with red hair and a tan coat on appeared. A disbelieving gasp was heard from someone. "O-Odasaku?" Dazai's heartbroken voice sounded out "Oda?" Ango called out disbelieving just like Dazai "Dazai-san? Do you know him?" Atsushi asked his mentor who seemed frozen in place. From where Fukuzawa was, a terrified man hid behind him "Fukuzawa, his ghost has come for revenge to drag me to hell." Mori whispered his eyes wide with fear "If that's true then I will gladly hand you over to them." Fukuzawa muttered sourly "I-Is it really you?" Dazai spoke up again standing up and slowly making his way over to Odasaku. Akutagawa and Chuuya stood next to each other also in shock. "You see him?" Chuuya asked to the younger "Yes. You see him?" Akutagawa replied.
"Yes, I see him. Are we going crazy?" The red head questioned "I have no idea." The dark-haired said. Dazai was now right in front of the supposed dead guy. He hesitantly reached out a shaking hand to cup his face. Happiness and relief suddenly bled on to his face before the brunette leaped into the taller's arms. Tears streamed freely down his face as he buried his face into the older's shoulder. "It's really you!" The ex-mafioso exclaimed "It's me, Dazai. I'm here." Odasaku told him stroking his head.
"I missed you so much!" Dazai said.
"I know." Oda replied.
"You're such a jerk!" He yelled lightly hitting the taller.
"I know." Oda repeated.
"But I really missed you." The brunette mumbled.
"Me too, Dazai. Me too." The red head sighed fondly.
"Odasaku, are you really here?" Ango questioned having come up to him as well. The dead man nodded smiling slightly at the government agent. "Who is that?" Atsushi asked "A dead man... right?" Akutagawa replied looking to Chuuya for reassurement "R-Right... man, who are we kidding, we're going fucking INSANE." The red head said "A dead man? Then how is he here?" The weretiger questioned "Wait... you see him?" Akutagawa asked "Yes, I see him." The light-haired said "Chuuya-san, he sees him." The dark-haired whispered "We're not insane." The executive muttered in relief "I think I'm going to leave you guys alone." Atsushi said backing away.
"Alright! No more crying please. We need to start. Everyone, take a seat." Megumi told them all. Dazai quickly dried his tears and dragged Odasaku with him. They all went to sit down on the rows of seats. The Armed Detective Agency all sat down near each other like the Port Mafia and the Decay Of Angels. Poe and Lucy sat with Ranpo whilst Oda and Ango sat with Dazai and Shibusawa sat with Fyodor.
"So, it's pretty standard and simple. Just watch the screen and react," Arisu told them "There's a few rules you need to know first though. Megumi-chan, if you would be so kind?" "Of course, Arisu-chan," Megumi replied "We don't care where you sit and who you sit with but we will put you in another seat if it isn't working out and we think it's necessary. No fighting unless they deserve it. You will be given breaks when we see fit. There will be snacks available the entire time, not just at breaks. There are toilets down the hallway. Lastly, if anyone pisses either of us off, it's not going to be pretty." She finished giving the microphone back to her friend "Ok, let's start! Arisu said "Wait! We didn't tell Ranpo the thing yet!" Megumi interrupted "Oh, yeah! Shit! Why do we keep forgetting everything today?" Arisu asked herself.
"What's this thing you need to tell me?" Ranpo questioned "Simple really. Put your glasses on and figure out who Kamui is. They're in this room right now." Arisu said "Kamui, you're screwed~ You deserve this, bitch." Megumi giggled.
The genius quickly took out his glasses on put them on. His eyebrows drew together in thought as his face pulled into a frown. Poe hovered over him, waiting for the detective to figure out who the mastermind was. Suddenly, the brown-haired gasped in shock. "What is it, Ranpo?" Poe asked nervous. Ranpo didn't answer instead standing up wordlessly and walking towards someone. He stopped at Fukuchi. The genius looked up into his eyes and pulled his arm back to... punch him in the face. The old guy fell to the floor spitting blood out from his mouth from the force of the blow. Fyodor 'pfft'-ed a little at Fukuchi getting what he deserved.
"Ranpo!" Fukuzawa exclaimed "What are you doing?" Kunikida asked shocked as well at his usually uncaring co-worker's outburst "It doesn't matter. You'll find out later." The brown-haired told them walking away from Fukuchi who was still on the floor being poked by Nikolai.
"Ah, that was entertaining. Right, Arisu?" Megumi asked her friend "Yup. Awesome~." Arisu responded "Ok! Back to your seats! Videos should start playing any second now." Megumi told them all. Ranpo obeyed going back to his seat as Nikolai dragged Fukuchi painfully back to his own seat. Dazai secretly high-fived the genius detective.
"If everyone's ready, then the show should start any second now." Megumi told them all.
Everyone nodded to the voice from the ceiling before turning their eyes back to the huge black screen at the front.
Fyodor quickly met Dazai's eyes and gave him a little smile as the screen lit up with the title 'Bungou Stray Dogs'. Dazai smiled back with a faint blush on his cheeks.
"Ok, let's start!" Arisu said happily.