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She had been so, so excited. Terrified out of mind, sure, and almost in tears just waiting for the call, but this was supposed to be a new chapter of her life.
Fifteen years of consistent back pain was meant to be lifted from her shoulders into the care of a doctor. To be free of the rashes and infections along her chest. She was meant to be able to wear cute vintage frilled button-ups without having to pray the buttons were kind. She was meant to be able to buy bras in public and not online, to have one that was designed for her to wear for more than an hour, without tacky ‘promiscuous’ patterns along the side, and sheer cups. It was meant to be a good day.
Stede had done her makeup, just subtly, best to make a good impression. Her hair was curled the tamest it had been in weeks, and the lighting was just right for the camera. Her notes had been written for what she was going to say, what questions she may ask, she had practised it for the last 2 weeks before bed.
So… how had it gone all so wrong?
“Your BMI is too high…” Right, she expected that, that’s why she had been losing weight for the past month.
“Right… The way your breasts droop, your weight loss would cause a lot of loose skin. And we don’t offer the removal of that in order to perform the reduction.” Wait…
“It’s best to go private.” But, what happened to the script?
“Have a good day, Mrs. Bonnet.” The call ended, and Stede was left there in shock.
The surgery couldn’t happen because… Her body just formed that way? And to fix that she’d have to pay thousands, for just a chance?
It wasn’t meant to go this way…
-
“Stede?... Stede love, is everything okay?” It had been 40 minutes since Stede had excitedly texted her the consultation was beginning, and to be quiet. Eds’ phone buzzed in her hand.
Not approved
“Oh shit… Can I come in?” Ed pressed her ear right up against the bedroom door, hearing muffled sniffles and choked sobs. Her phone buzzed again.
Yeah
Slowly, she cracked the door open, looking at the still open laptop, then the desk chair sprawled up towards the door, and then to her wife, curled up and sobbing on the floor against the bed. Edaline didn’t say a word, coming down to the floor next to her wife, her chest tight. Stedes’ mascara had dribbled down her cheeks and now stained her own hands covering her face.
“Can I hold you…?” Stede minutely nodded, and she was immediately swamped in her wifes’ arms.
She sobbed for a while, and through her wails she gave Ed parts of what the surgeon had said, often repeating herself, her voice wet with tears and lungs choking for air. The silver haired woman just rocked her back and forth, listening to her garbled words and rubbing her head and back. At one point, she managed to grab a tissue from the nightstand and wiped at her teary face.
She wasn’t sure how long she held Stede for, and she didn’t mind, even if her ass had gone numb and there was an ache in her back. Stedes’ sobs had dwindled down to sniffles.
“Oh, goodness, I’m sorry dear…” Stede pulled away, frowning at the black smear across Eds’ neck and collar bones, trying to thumb the makeup away. Gently, Edaline took hold of her hands, rubbing her thumbs into her palms.
“Don’t apologise love, not for a damn thing.” She pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, hearing Stede sniffled. “Are you alright now?” Stede shrugged, and Ed rubbed her hands again. “Do you want to talk about next steps, or just relax for a bit?”
Stede gnawed at her lip, rubbing off some of her lipstick. “I think… relax, for now?” Ed nodded with a smile.
“We’ve still got the muppets to binge, if you want?” Stede smiled, and nodded, one more tear slipping from her eye and dripped off her jaw. “Alright, let’s get you changed and we can just have the day to ourselves, peppermint or chamomile tea?”
“Peppermint,” She mumbled, looking down at their interlocked hands. “Can we have those gingersnaps now?” Ed grinned, dipping her head to kiss her wifes’ nose.
“‘Course love. You get yourself in something comfy, alright? Meet ya on the sofa.” Ed went to stand up, but Stedes’ hands seized around hers.
“Can… Could…” Ed settled back down again, squeezing her hands in reassurance. Stede swallowed, and continued. “Could you… help me dress?” She looked up through her eyelashes. “I don't want to look at them…” She gestured vaguely to her torso, her breath shaky.
“Blue or golden dressing gown?” Stede grinned, shoulders’ relaxing.
“Gold, please.” her wife nodded, easing her up and towards their walk-in wardrobe.
Stede kept her eyes to the ceiling, letting Edaline with feather-like touches, remove her blouse, then suit pants, even her socks and underwear. She did let a tear slip when the bra clipped off, feeling the warm weight of her breasts settle back onto her torso. Then, she got into her blue silk pyjama set, draping the golden dressing gown over her shoulders and stepping into her fluffy slippers.
“Thank you dear,” She kissed the back of Ed’s hands, stroking the softer skin of her wrists. “I’m so lucky to have you.” Ed tried to hide her smile by ducking her head, even after five years of marriage she still got butterflies every time Stede kissed her hands.
“Just doing what you need right now, nothing less.” Her hands settled onto Stedes’ wider hips, softly tugging her into an embrace, and any wetness she felt on her shoulder went unsaid.
-
It was just after Lynn Redgrave and Kermit sang together, that Stede spoke up from under Ed.
“They said I should go private…” Ed twisted her head, looking up at her wife who did not do the same, instead still focused on the TV.
“And how do you feel about that?” She asked softly, her hands absently caressing Stedes’ sides.
“It’s so much money Ed… And even then I still have the weight loss to get through for even a chance—”
“I’ll pay for it. I’ll be here every step of the way.” Stede finally looked at her, mouth open and brows furrowed.
“Oh, Ed darling, no. I’m not taking your pension away from you!” Edaline had retired just a few months ago, getting a hefty sum from decades of tattoo artistry and calling in the names of a few celebrities. She’d spent that time indulging in whatever she and Stede wanted, for her, that was just another indulgence, and the best one she can do at that.
“You’re not taking it if I’m offering!” She counter, stretching up so her head rested more upon Stedes’ shoulder, idly playing with one of her blonde curls.
“I don’t care how much it is love, if it’s going to make you happy, and you get to wear those cute blouses and can go through your day without worrying about being in pain? That’s the best thing I could ever pay for.” She automatically kissed Stedes’ skin.
“But Ed, it can be nearly ten grand! You can afford to do that!”
“Stede.” She propped herself up with the arm rest, looking down into her wifes’ glistening hazel eyes. “I’ll start a bloody onlyfans if that means I can see you truly and absolutely happy.” A tear slipped out of Stedes’ eye, her chest heaving with a stifled breath.
“I love you, so much dear.” Ed lowered herself back down, peppering kisses down Stedes’ face, who quickly attempted to do it back.
“Love you too, and I’m gonna be here no matter what, love.” She finally got to kiss her on the lips, tasting a confusing mix of ginger, peppermint and salt on them. “Tomorrow is another day, and we can look at clinics if you’d like, anything you want.” Stede smiled again, arms looping around the others’ waist.
They settled back into each other, chuckling at Miss Piggy dressed as Maid Marian.