Work Text:
“FUXK SHIT I AM GONNA HURL!!!"
"LET IT STOP! "
"MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE"
"PUTANGINA NYO TIGIL NA NG RIDE" chuuya shouted but was met with the operator's grin as he made the ride more bumpy causing chuuya to head butt his head at the motion of the ride
It would be a hilarious sight if people weren't fighting for their lives, holding onto the railings to keep steady
Atsushi lost his grip and fell to the centre where he can't move without slamming his whole body down, it was pathetic crawling to the seats but unable to move an inch without his body rocking up and down
Although the position allowed Akutagawa to see and gawk at that ass
Dazai seemed to be holding it together, scratch that he's turning green and he just took chuuya's hat to barf in it
Chuuya would've shouted, but he can't stop falling down on and balancing himself to get to the railings
Then he got body slammed by Fyodor, he looked traumatised and for once very pitiful while bumping up and down the ride
"Hey need a hand?" ever the gentle and kind soul, Chuuya offered to help others. Even if that someone was an ex enemy of all the organisations present in the ride
Yet no one saw what happened next
Chuuya held out his hand and was about to take Fyodor so he can have him hold the railing, when suddenly Fyodor was given a flying kick to the face and flew towards an open armed nikolai who held him happily, seemingly the only man who didn't hate this ride
........
Someone sent a person flying in this death trap of a ride, someone had enough balance, stability and incredible enough to kick someone whilst the ride was still going on and chuuya would have been concerned that the operator hadn't even stopped the ride, if not for the elephant in the room, well ride
Dazai was the one who kicked Fyodor and Dazai is next to him holding onto a still dabbing Chuuya's waist
Everyone turned quiet, some by shock but most at awe with what Dazai had done, suddenly everyone got a glimpse of what the demon prodigy used to be when he got possessive over one person, Chuuya
And whilst everyone was still at a shock
The devil operator used this as a chance to suddenly reverse the ride's mechanics and everyone came flying to the centre
"SHIT SHIT!!"
“NOT AGAIN! ”
"RANPO-KUN GRAB KARL HE'LL FLY AWAY"
"I SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THE POWDER DONUTS!!"
"TELL MY PARENTS I LOVE THEM"
"TACHIHARA YOU'RE AN ORPHAN!!! WE ARE ALL ORPHANS!"
"HEY! MY PARENTS ARE STILL ALIVE!"
"THEY'RE GOOD AS DEAD MORON,
"WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU ALIVE PARENTS "
"MINE ARE DEAD"
"ALSO, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!?! NO ONE HERE HAS ALIVE PARENTS!"
“YOU CAN’T BE WITH US ON THIS RIDE”
“IT’S A FREE COUNTRY I CAN RIDE ANY RIDE I WANT!”
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS ARGUING WITH A CIVILIAN ABOUT?!?"
"HE STARTED IT! LIKE DUDE YOU CAN'T BE WITH US BECAUSE WE ARE ALL ORPHANS!"
"LIKE I SAID THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY I CAN RIDE WHAT I WANT!! I'LL REPORT YOU FOR DISCRIMINATION"
"LOL TRY IT DUDE THE FUCKING POLICE ARE SCARED OF US!"
"MICHIZO SHUT IT!"
"YES DEAR"
"SIMP!"
"MY GIRLFRIEND CAN KILL YOU!"
"FUCK I AM GONNA HURL A SECOND TIME"
"DAZAI YOU ALREADY RUINED MY HAT! AT THE SIDE!! AT THE SIDE!!! BARF AT THE SIDE!!! FUCKER STOP THIS RIDEE-"
"DAZAI SAN BARFED IN MY HAT!"
"SORRY KENJI I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE"
"OK DAZAI SA- AHHHH"
"KENJI COLLAPSED
"KYOKA AND Q ARE LITERALLY GREEN! THEY'RE GONNA BARF, AT THE SIDE!"
"SHIT THEY BARFED ON KENJI!"
"KAJII I KNOW YOU HAVE A BOMB! ACTIVATE IT! I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER SECOND OF THIS!"
"AHHH AKIKO TOOK MY BOMBS! AH SHIT MY HEAD'S SPINNING ~ OH A LEMON SHAPED STAR- *CRASH*"
"I SHOULD'VE LET YOU KEEP ONE! SHIT THIS RIDE IS MESSING WITH WHOLE BODY! I'D RATHER BE TORTURED TO THE BRINK OF DEATH!"
"YOSANO SAN DROP THE CHAINSAW! YOU CAN'T MAKE IT TO OPERATOR WITH HURTING OTHERS!"
"FUCK OFF ANGO! I NEED THIS RIDE TO STOP! GO CHECK ON KUNIKIDA HE LOOKS LIKE DEATH"
"HOLY SHIT! BOSS IS HOLDING ONTO THE PRESIDENT OF THE ADA!!"
"THE FUCK! I NEED HOLY WATER!"
"YOSANO DROPPED THE CHAINSAW! GUYS BE CAREFUL IT COULD SLICE YOU ALL"
"JUNICHIRO JUMP OVER IT!"
"FUCK SHIT MY COAT!"
"AKUTAGAWA I SWEAR TO GOD! DON'T JUMP OVER THIS DEATH TRAP FOR A COAT YOU'RE GONNA DIE ASTHMATIC WEAKLING!"
"THAT'S LITERALLY MY ABILITY JINKO I'D RATHER DIE WITHOUT IT!"
"YOU'RE GONNA DIE IF JUMP YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR ABILITY THAT SUPPORTS YOU!!! WHY AM I INLOVE WITH A EMO IDIOT"
"FOR ONE SECOND STOP FIGHTING! DAZAI STOP KICKING OVER FYODOR! GAHHHH GET OVER ME MEMEMEME-" The ride turned mechanisms so it began going up and down forcing dazai who was on top of chuuya to continuously slam over the redhead repeatedly their position being less than PG
"THE FUCK! ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING?!?"
"NO YOU BITCH! WE AREN'T! THIS FUCKING RIDE NEEDS TO STOPPP"
"I AM GONNA PUKE!"
"KUNIKIDA DON'T!!"
“SHIT HE REALLY DID BARF”
"ANGO SLIPPED ON KUNIKIDA'S BARF YUCK!"
"LET THIS STOP!!"
"SOMEBODY SAVE US!!"
"GOD I KNOW I MAY NOT HAVE BELIEVED IN YOU BUT PLEASE!"
"IS SIGMA PRAYING?!"
"HE LOOKS GOOD ON HIS KNEES"
"NOT THE PLACE GOGOL!"
"THE PORT MAFIA WILL TURN GOOD IF YOU STOP THIS RIDE!!!"
"DAMN! YOUR BOSS IS REALLY DESPERATE!"
"BITCH I'D BECOME A NUN IF THIS RIDE STOPS"
"PLEASE WITH YOUR SIMPNESS OVER THE AKUTAGAWAS YOU WON'T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE INTERVIEW!"
"SHUT IT BRO CON! YOUR BROTHER'S INLOVE WITH TACHIHARA!"
"YOU BITCH!"
"WANNA FIGHT YOU INCESTUOUS BRO CON!?!"
"BRING IT BUDGET BARBIE!"
"MOMMY!!!"
"DAZAI THIS ISN'T THE PLACE FOR YOUR ISSUES!! I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY"
"YOUR TITS CERTAINLY FEELS LIKE A MOM~"
"GOD!"
"FUCK SHIT THIS IS TORTURE"
"SHUT UP WITH YOUR WEIRD FOREPLAY SEX TALK PLEASE"
"NOT THE FUCKING TIME!"
"MY EARS!!"
"GIN PUT THE GUN DOWN"
"ANE SAN WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!?"
"HOW IS SHE KEEPING HER BALANCE?!?!?"
"HOLY SHIT IS THAT A SWORD? AND GOLDEN DEMON?!? "
"SHE HAS TWO SWORDS AND HER ABILITY OUT!"
"Y'ALL SHE'S AFTER DAZAI! SCATTER!!"
"DAZAI GET OFF ME! YOU'RE MAKING IT WORST!"
"AHHH!"
"WAAHHH"
"KUNIKIDA DON'T BARF AGAIN!"
"HE BARFED AGAIN! ATLEAST IT'S AT THE SIDE THIS TIME!"
"WHY IS THE PORT MAFIA BOSS STILL CLINGING TO THE PRESIDENT!?!??"
"CAN WE LOOK AT FRANCIS FOR A MOMENT THAT MAN HADN'T MOVED SINCE THE RIDE!"
"IS HE DEAD?"
"I'LL BURN ALL MY LOLI MAGAZINES AND THROW AWAY ELISE'S DRESSES IF YOU STOP THIS RIDE! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!"
The ride slowed down and the screen showed a sentence that froze them all
"NONONONO I WON'T ADMIT IT!"
“WELL SOMEBODY NEEDS TO!”
“DAZAI I WILL KILL YOU BEFORE ANE SAN GETS TO”
“IT SAID ANY PAIR RIGHT? WHY NOT SHIN SOUKOKU?”
“THEY HAVEN’T EVEN DONE IT LMAO”
“POE AND RANPO?”
“SORRY TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE BUT THEY SAID ENEMIES TO LOVERS AND PARTNERS, ME AND PO ARE RIVALS!”
“WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE??!?!?!”
“DON’! YOU DO NOT WANT POE EXPLAINING IT WHILE WE ARE ON THIS DEATH TRAP!”
“YOSANO AND KAJII?”
“DON’T BRING US INTO THIS!!"
“YES MA’AM!”
“OI FUKUZAWA AND MORI USED TO BE A PAIR WHY NOT THEM?”
“I WILL NEVER ADMIT TO SUCH THING!”
And then the ride somehow become a 10 times worse
“GAHHHH”
“HELPPPPPP MEMMEMEMEEM”
“HOLY SHIT ANE SAN IS STILL GOING AFTER DAZAI!!”
“KARL HOLD ON TIGHT”
“POE MY SNACKS FLEW AWAY!!!”
“I’LL BUY MORE, STAY STILL RANPO-SAN!!!”
“RASHOMON IS STILL ON THE GROUND”
“I SWEAR TO GOD AKUTAGAWA!!”
“SOMEBODY SAVE SIGMA HE’S HAIR IS LITERALLY STUCK!”
“I SHOULD’VE RAN AWAY WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE! I DON’T NEED THIS DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY!”
“NO CAN DO SIG KUN YOU’RE WITH US FOR LIFE FUFUFUFUFU *smack*”
“HOLY SHIT DID NIKOLAI AND SIGMA KISS OR WAS THAT MY IMAGINATION?!”
“LOL THE RAT IS FUMING! SERVES HIM RIGHT”
“NOT THE TIME DAZAI!’
"THEY'RE STILL KISSING!"
"NOT THE TIME YOU DISGUSTING GAYS!"
"WEREN'T YOU GAY FOR KOUYOU YOSANO?"
"STILL AM! BUT SHE REJECTED ME AND I TURNED MOROSEXUAL BECAUSE I CHOSE KAJII!"
"HEY! I AM OFFENDED - LEMON STARS ARE BACK *CRASH"
“MOM! DAD! SAVE ME!”
“SHUT IT WE’RE ALL ORPHANS HERE!”
"STOP FIGHTING THE CIVILIAN!"
“FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST SAY IT! SO WE CAN END THIS MORI!!”
“DAMN! HIROTSU CURSED AT MORI”
"FUCK OK! FINE I AM A PILLOW PRINCESS FOR FUKUZAWA! THERE HAPPY?!?!!"
*Crank*
And suddenly everything stopped, the ride came to a stop and everyone stood frozen, all of their attention to the last one who screamed, Mori ougai, the boss or the Port Mafia. The man still clinging to the rival organisation's president
........
.......
......
.....
No one dared to utter a word, but then a screen suddenly flashed out a recording of the ride and a recording of a dark confession
"I AM A PILLOW PRINCESS FOR FUKUZAWA THERE HAPPY?!?!?"
Was what Mori stated that caused the ride to stop
......
.....
......
.......
Again no one uttered a word, And slowly began going to the exit, some by pairs, others alone and some carrying their partners out
Namely Dazai Princess carrying a frozen Chuuya who never recovered from what mori, his boss had said, mostly because he was glad he wasn't the one who needed to admit that revelation, the executive’s reputation would be in tatters
Also Gin carrying a passed out Tachihara. And Ango who was helping kunikida out even though he was the one slipped on his puke and hit his head
Kajii was also passed out but Yosano prompted to drag him by the feet instead, his head bumping down through the bumps the ride has she wanted to leave as fast as possible to forget that sick revelation through drinking herself stupor and probably doing a dazai and committing double suicide with her lemon addicted boyfriend
Ranpo wasn’t any better, Poe had to carry him and Karl as fast a possible because the genius had passed out and he probably would want to repressed what just happened, especially since his adopted dad is revealed to be sleeping with the rival organization's Boss
Atsushi jumped down immediately and took Rashomon off the ground before carrying a frozen Akutagawa potato sack style, they need to be as far as possible because he can't stand another second here
Members of the guild are carrying their own leader own once they find out that he is breathing and alive
Kouyou had gone and helped the younger kids, Kenji, Kyoka and Yumeno out and proceeds to the nearest bathroom to get them clean
Sigma was holding onto nikolai who was the only one happy about everything as the clown carried him in one hand whilst the other supported their other rat boyfriend still passed out from the ride
The others have also gone and ran away until the two heads of the ADA and Port Mafia was left in the ride both also frozen in place, Fukuzawa still holding Mori into a princess carry, it takes them 5 more minutes before they also move off the ride, the older man still carrying his younger partner
Everyone made a pact to never relieve or mention this incident ever again......
The devil operator still has the recording of everything though also the civilian was left confused about the people he rode with and vowed never to ride that death trap again