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Peter’s inability to cook presented early, it was never a mystery, it was just another one of the traits he was born with, like being kind and being cute, Peter was not a good cook. Despite everyone and the universe itself knowing this it took Peter a while to get it, he remained hopeful that cooking was just something he needed to try extra hard to learn. His aunt didn't agree so he was always kept out of the kitchen, that's why when alone in Harry’s kitchen he took his chance.
Harry’s house was always empty, his mother wasn't there anymore and his father worked all day. They had some staff that worked around the clock but they had been instructed to be strictly professional with him, despite them, the house was always empty to him. It was exactly why Harry was always happy to have Peter over, when they were toddlers May or Ben would go with them, the first few times his father tried to pretend to be present but he gave it up when he realized Peter would be a permanent present in his son's life.
Once they were deemed grown enough to not be constantly watched they started being left alone in Harry’s huge mansion. One evening of being alone with each other for a sleepover Peter decided it was the perfect time to try to cook again, Harry, not knowing why this was a terrible idea, agreed immediately excited to try his best friend's food.
They sneaked into the kitchen late at night when most of the staff was sleeping and they were craving a midnight snack, Peter had finally set his mind on a simple cheese soup that his uncle used to make for him on the nights were he was missing his parents the most, he wanted to share the beloved memories with his beloved friend.
Peter and Harry started getting everything ready, cutting and washing the ingredients together, they were having so much fun Peter was starting to feel confident, of course, he could cook, i mean he had never tried before so how bad could he actually be?
A fire alarm, somehow burnt water, and an angry father later Peter was back at his own house and Harry was grounded for a week straight. He sadly ate the sandwich Harry had made for him from ingredients from the fridge after the fire on the stove had safely been put out and the kitchen was safe to enter again.
“Oh sweetheart there is no need to be so sad, Harry said he wasn't mad at you and in the end, nobody was hurt”- May tried to comfort him but right now he was feeling rather unconsolable, she had been right, everyone was right, he was not meant for cooking.
“It's not really your fault Peter, it's kind of a Parker curse, your uncle was an exception but neither I nor your parents were exactly skilled in the kitchen”- Peter thought his aunt's cooking was not that bad, it was probably due to the years of not having other option but to make something to eat or starve.
However, Peter spent the whole car ride pouting, he felt downright horrible, not only had he almost burned the entire kitchen down but he had gotten his friend in trouble. Harry kept reassuring him everything was fine and he actually thought it was quite funny but Peter still apologized every day for the whole week of punishment.
That day Peter knew that like Parker luck, Parker cooking was not something that he could just ignore. From now on his ass would remain out of the kitchen.
“Hello webs”- Deadpool greeted him when he landed on their rooftop. It was Wednesday, their established day for meeting, even if they met with each other almost every day, Wednesday was the only day that was actually agreed on.
“Hey ‘Pool”- He took a couple of steps in the border of the ceiling before he flopped down right next to him. Deadpool had taken the habit of feeding him, something that Peter wasnt exactly mad about considering his current financial situation, especially after he moved out of his aunt's house to live on his own closer to his university, having to eat out so much wasn't exactly cheap and May would kill him if he exclusively survived on instant ramen.
“Bone apple teeth”- Deadpool said handing him a plastic food taper instead of the usual greasy paper bag. He grabbed it but nevertheless looked at Wade in questioning, it was a wonder how despite the mask Deadpool could always tell what he was thinking about- “Yeah, uh, I actually made that”- Deadpool seemed shy about it, not exactly a common sight in him.
“Oh, I didn't know you could cook”- Peter commented opening the lid, the food was still warm and some steam came from it.
“When I was stationed in a little town in Mexico for a job that took me a couple of months I made friends with an old lady from there, she had lost her only son to the local gang I was there to take down so she made me food sometimes and eventually taught me all about how to cook it myself, I still visit her every once in a while”- He explained while Peter ate, he made a small sound of pure satisfaction when he took his first bite that made Wade’s voice wave a little during his explanation.
Spiderman and Deadpool hung out together almost every single day, and they ate together for most of those days so it wasn't an exaggeration to say that they had been to every single Mexican restaurant in the area, Mexican being Wade’s preferred food, and him being the one that pays for it, it was what they usually got. Yet even so Peter could say with all his heart that these were the best tacos he had ever tasted- “Holy shit”- Was all he could say.
“It's good isn't it?”- Wade teased coming back to his personality and leaving the uncharacteristic shyness behind.
“Holy shit!”- His excitement made Wade laugh loudly- “This is delicious! Deadpool!’”
“What?”- Deadpool asked between laughs.
“You have to cook for me more often! Oh please!”- Peter practically begged, he hadn't realized when he had come so close to Wade, with both of their mouths currently uncovered he could feel Wade’s breath grazing his cheek, he quickly backed down in embarrassment- “I mean- Only if you want to of course- I didn't mean to be so pushy. I'm sorry, I probably made you uncomfortable, this is probably a one-time thing, you can just forget about it, I was being stupid-” He rambled anxiety clouding his rational brain before being cut off by Wade.
“I would love to make more food for you baby boy”- Deadpool said softly- “Now eat your food before it gets cold”- Just like that their sweet moment was cut, but still, the warm feeling stayed in both their hearts the rest of the night.
Neither of them could guess those tacos would be the start for them as more than superhero friends that occasionally played video games together, Peter kept on coming back for food from Wade, and Wade kept making more for him.
“Hi May”- Peter greeted standing at the door that had just opened. His aunt immediately pulled him into a tight hug, it had been a couple of weeks since his last visit.
“Hi Peter”- She said lovingly, when she pulled away she looked at the man standing with him at the entrance- “And you must be Wade”.
“Wade Winston Wilson ma’am, at your service”- Wade threatically bowed to her like an old gentleman making both Parker’s laugh, to his delight.
“Come in both of you, it's so chilly outside”- She said pulling them both inside the house- “So, Wade, I have heard a lot about you from Peter, he is very much in love, I want to know your intentions”- She said non chalantly with a straight face.
“May!”- Peter complained immediately turning bright red but they both ignored him.
“Straight to the point I see, you are as brave as Peter told me you were, I like that”- Wade said calmly- “My intentions with your nephew are to make him happy until the day I take my last breath. I want to provide him with the best of everything and care for him even if he doesn't need me to, just because he deserves to be taken care of for being so amazing and kind”.
“Wade!”- Peter squealed turning even more red if that was even possible. Once again, they ignored him.
“Hmm, I like that, I approve”- May affirmed with a nod, Wade positively beamed, he knew how important her approval was to Peter. Despite still being embarrassed he looked just as happy as Wade- “Now that we took the heavy shit out of the way”- She said standing up and getting a ‘language’ from Peter and a hearty laugh from Wade- “Who is ready for dinner”
She had made a stew, Peter tried his best to eat it and looked at Wade to see his reaction but to his absolute surprise, he didn't complain, his face barely shifted. It seemed this was a test of May’s as she eventually stopped him.
“You can stop now Wade, the takeout is already on the way”- She explained satisfied with the way Wade ate with no complaint- “I'm sorry about this but with Peter’s abilities in the kitchen I wanted to make sure you had a strong stomach and could handle some not perfect food”- Peter wanted to complain but it was a valid concern.
“Is not bad”- Wade said between munchs.
“Oh please Wade you don't have to force yourself”- May was actually starting to get concerned for him.
“I have eaten Peter’s food before, this isn't bad, I can definitely see how you two are related tho’”- Peter gave him a slight smack on the shoulder.
“You have? Peter didn't mention he ever tried to cook for you”- She commented curiously.
“I don't think we need to-”- Peter tried to stop him, this is exactly what he feared, the two people he loved the most coming together to bully him and gossip about him. His nightmare came to reality right before his eyes.
“It's actually a funny story-”
“Wait-”- But Wade had already started talking.
It had happened on the dates where they were still dancing in the limbo of more than friends yet not quite lovers. They had decided to have a date at Peter’s apartment for a change, they usually went to one of Wade’s places when they wanted to hang out but Peter was excited to have him at his house for once. It was all part of them getting to know each other outside of their crime-fighting lives, just Peter and Wade.
It was that excitement that made Peter believe that there was nothing more romantic he could do than make the other something to eat. He had started cooking at nine in the morning, early? yes, but this way he would have time to clean up and order takeout before Wade appeared at three in the evening if he fucked it up.
Fuck it up he did, but he didn't have as much time as he planned to have. He had tried to make pasta, simple but classically romantic. The instructions were simple, put spaghetti on boiling water to cook it, take it out, and put the salsa on top, ready to eat. Probably one of the simplest dishes to make out there, he truthfully had no idea how he had managed to fuck it up so massively, at this point it was a talent.
When Wade was nearing the door to Peter’s apartment (because now that they were kind of dating coming through the window felt a little weird) a small bouquet of red roses in hand he smelled the smoke, he hurried to the place finding the door unlocked he barged in ready to find some kind of big fire or supervillain that had somehow found Spiderman’s home. Instead, he found a frying pan on fire, a big black cloud surrounding Peter that was currently on the floor, the most distressed he had ever seen him and close to tearing up.
Realizing the only danger was Peter to Peter himself he calmly walked and put the fire out, finding underneath charcoal that once was noodles. And kneeled down to be at Peter’s eye level.
“I tried to cook”- He said hiding his face in between his knees.
“I can see that”- Wade responded trying really hard not to laugh in the face of the disgruntled Peter.
“I didn't work”- Peter muttered.
“I can see that”
“I'm sorry”- Peter hugged his knees closer to him, he knew he looked a mess, with various condiments on his clothes, messy hair, and sweaty forehead from desperately trying to put out the fire before giving up to lay on the floor in shame. He felt disappointed in himself, he had ruined their date, they could have had a nice evening but Peter messed it up as he always did with every good thing in his life.
He felt his eyes burn as a hand gently petted his hair- “It’s okay, you tried, I appreciate that”- Wade comforted him.
“You are not mad at me for ruining our date?”- Wade’s heart made a weird beat at Peter referring to their hangout as a date out loud.
“Nothing is ruined”- He pulled Peter up to his feet- “You go change into something clean, I will take care of this and we will see what we can do”- Peter nodded and walked hesitantly towards his bedroom, while he changed into the outfit he had planned and tried his best to fix his hair he feared that when he came out Wade would no longer be there.
He was there when he came out, not only he was there his kitchen was clean and alive again and he had new ingredients lying on the table.
“What’s this?”- He asked walking closer to inspect the table.
“If you want us to eat something homemade today we could always make something together”- He offered, the kind treatment made Peter tear up again, this time with happiness.
“Oh Wade”- He quickly pulled the taller guy into a hug by the neck, finishing with a quick kiss to his lips- “You are the best”
“You know it webhead”- Wade joked chasing his lips again.
They actually managed to make something edible at the end, a little burn in some places and a little raw in others but nothing Deadpool’s healing factor couldn't heal him from. Besides, he would gladly die of food poisoning a thousand times if it made his little spider happy.
“No way”- Wade said seeing Peter walk into the room with a platter of food in his hands, actual non-burned food, he didn't even smell any fires from their kitchen.
“Happy anniversary Wade”- Peter said proudly setting the tray next to his boyfriend.
“Oh my god no way”- Wade continued to stare in wonder, barely processing what Peter said- “Did Harry help you make this?”- He asked.
“Nope”- Peter cheekily admitted- “...But he did give me some advice”- He added quietly.
“Ned?”
“Wrong”
“MJ?”
“Nuh uh”
“May?”
“If May had helped me we would have burned the house down together”- Peter joked.
“That's true”- Wade admitted laughing with him- “So you did this all by yourself?”- Wade could hardly believe it when Peter excitedly nodded, he knew he wouldn't lie to him.
“A sandwich, freshly squeezed orange juice, and granola, all things that I can do away from fire”- Peter proudly showed all of the food items from the tray.
“Smart”- Wade praised.
“I'm working around it”- Peter blushed a little at the compliment- “Happy one-year anniversary Wade, I love you”