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Part 1 of ProhibitedWish AU collection
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2023-10-17
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2023-10-20
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2/?
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They're all uptight

Summary:

Now, Prismo knows that if one doesn't get enough sleep, they're bound to start dreaming when they're awake.
I mean, that's got to be it - just a random delusion brought on by his lack of a liveable sleep schedule.
Nevertheless,
Prismo still swears up and down that their office department's new accountant literally cannot be human.
He just can't be!

 

OR - I see your silly prohibitedwish office au, and I raise you ALIENS.

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Now, Orbo may have fucked up again.

He’s been at this company for the past five years, a department manager for the last two of them, and, somehow, throughout his whole time here, has been the definite reason behind two auditors getting temporarily sent to watch over his crew. How he managed to climb up to this rank is far beyond him, frankly, when he was single-handedly the reason why office supplies were going missing back when he was still just a cubicle employee.

Regardless, Orbo’s also had experience with an auditor as a manager, and he can understand why back then, his manager at the time had been so angry about the situation. Auditors are a universal nightmare to deal with, apparently. Sure, they’re just doing their job, but that job also happens to be to act like an uptight prude and frankly neither he, nor his employees enjoyed the four months that an auditor was present with them for the first time.

Back then, Orbo had sworn to never use the company’s credit card to write off bar dinners and drinks ever again.

Of course, that sworn promise didn’t last for long, but he hadn’t expected for the situation to get that far out of line! It was especially made worse because apparently there were a bunch of other minor violations happening that he had chosen to turn a blind eye to - things like more office supply theft, employees abusing their coffee machine privileges, and just a few shady shareholders that apparently were more trouble than the hefty bribes were worth.

Regardless, let’s not point any fingers, he had said when having to announce that an auditor would be permanently filling the empty office that was once inhabited by their accountant, before that accountant had to quit because of some scandal regarding another employee in another department. Obviously, to give an auditor a permanent position just wouldn’t be feasible - they were needed all over the place all the time, the longest stays only lasting as much as six months, Orbo had heard from other managers.

It was just a happenstance of opportunities, the higher-ups had said, where some auditor had applied for a promoted position as a department accountant, and it just so happened that Orbo’s department had just so many violations that they decided his new accountant would also have the responsibility to hand in regular reports to the head auditor’s office. Indefinitely. Because supposedly Orbo was just good enough of a manager that they couldn’t demote or fire him, but just bad enough of one that they couldn’t trust him to file his own finance reports.

Regardless of the situation, it’s understandable that the office ran tense for the entirety of the following week, trying to whip themselves into shape at the last second, so the new guy couldn’t find any violations as soon as he entered the premises. Something similar had happened the last time that an auditor came to inspect Orbo’s office for three months, practically sniffing out anything she could write into a report like a sadistic police dog hellbent on shutting Orbo down as a manager entirely. He’s 90% sure that she had eyes in the back of her skull to spot any of the violations that he saw written into her reports before being forced to hand them off anyways.

With any luck, though, this time the circumstances would be different.

The new accountant was apparently some especially brown-nosed newbie, only an employee at the company for a year by now but already managed to bring down at least three department managers and five employees, climbing the promotion ladder like a monkey in a jungle gym.

From what gossip Orbo could gather, though, apparently he had also begun to mellow out the more his reputation amongst the company solidified. The new promotion this guy had applied to might’ve been the end of his auditor days.

If he had been sent to any other department other than Orbo’s to work for.

Still, maybe the guy would be easy.

Maybe he wouldn’t be even half as scrutinizing as the other two he had experience with.

Surely!

…

Gods, he knew his whole department was fucked as soon as the new guy set foot into the elevator with him.

The dude’s suit was almost as tidy as his eyes were judgemental, and Orbo had to stop himself from physically reeling back when a shiver ran down his spine as soon as that gaze was turned towards him. He can’t entirely pinpoint the feeling that made his heart speed up and adrenaline deafen his ears when faced eye to eye with this person, but it was something he was sure he’d felt when watching a horror movie, something primal activated in Orbo’s brain that rather plainly and blatantly told him to run for the hills and never turn back.

Actually, running might be the most effective option here - Orbo does note how the employee heavily leans on the cane he’s brought with him, and quietly wonders if it’d be out of place to ask about it.

He just might, if there wasn’t something so… off-putting about the guy.

Nevertheless, it’d be improper to even appear scared, so he hurriedly tried to swallow his own nervousness and steel his shoulders, giving the guy a friendly nod and a tight-lipped smile as he watched the man push the button that would send them both up to the office they now shared. Better to get introductions out of the way early, right?

“So, I hear you’re going to be our new accountant? I’m the manager of that floor you’re going to.” He starts off the conversation casually, looking towards the guy and ignoring the cold sweat on his back as the man keeps facing the elevator door, only briefly turning his eyes towards the side where Orbo stood.

“Yes, I am going to be moving into that empty room I hear you people have in your office. I do hope it’s not as haphazard there as I hear your employees are.” The man speaks, in a proper and clear tone of voice that sends a new round of chills through Orbo’s mind. He immediately decides to hold back from reprimanding the insult that his last sentence was, if only to not immediately fall into the guy’s bad graces.

He laughs it off, extending a hand outwards. “No worries, mate, we cleaned it out for ya! I’m Orbo, by the way - just to get all that professionalism out of the way.” And almost immediately, Orbo can see the way the new accountant’s eyes go thin in judgment, before taking the offer and shaking his hand.

“My name is Scarab, and I’ll let you know that I pride myself in being professional, sir. ”

Ouch. Alright. Maybe casual wasn’t the best approach here. Regardless, a single ‘ding’ signaled that it would be about time to get off of the elevator, so they both stepped through the open doors with an awkward-tense silence.

Today was going to be long.

Maybe it was Prismo’s bad habit of regularly arriving to work late that led to him not particularly noticing the new guy moving into the office.

The day that it happened, all he noted was how everyone in the office was tense and serious as they worked, sharing nervous glances, ones in which Prismo could spell out questions and warnings. Like the smart person he considers himself, though, Prismo decided to not respond to any of it with anything more than an eyebrow raised in confusion, as he followed the weird vibe of the office and set to work in his cubicle without question.

Normally he might at least have a quick chat with his boss, or Cosmac, or whoever else was open to talking and sharing some gossip that day - a way to settle into the work day with no stress, to maintain the chill atmosphere he prided himself on helping maintain.

This time, though, he was left to uncomfortably spend the next few hours of silence in his cubicle, sure that he might be able to hear a pin drop. He was even half-tempted to test that theory, until half of the office headed out on their lunch break, him included, and it felt like a heavy weight was finally lifted off of his shoulders as he sat with his friends and tried to figure out what the fuck all that silence was about.

“Mate, the auditor’s here.” Orbo finally broke the news to him with an exasperated tiredness to his voice.

“Wait, today? ” Ah, shit. Maybe Prismo should’ve actually listened when Orbo was going on about that in their last department-wide meeting. In his defense, though, he was very tired at the time, and you really can’t expect a man to work at full capacity when it felt like his head was about the weight of a lead balloon.

“ Yes, today! Everyone’s fuckin nervous about it, if you couldn’t tell.”

“I mean, dude, I read that, like, the whole office’s vibes were off today, sure, but over some guy? Isn’t his job literally just to watch the finances and stuff? You said he’s our new accountant, right?” Prismo was still a little confused about what this all meant. He has only been with the company for a few months by now, and couldn’t say that he had an awful lot of experience with these sorts of situations, but surely, surely it couldn’t be that big of a deal to have a new accountant to their department, could it?

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t exactly stop any of them from sending in complaints about everything regardless,” Orbo mutters with annoyance, rolling his eyes as he takes another bite of his sandwich.

All Prismo can really do to react is shrug, not sure how to respond to that, so he turns his attention back to his food. May as well try to get the lunch break over with early. With any luck he could use the remaining time to talk to some of his coworkers and assist in lightening the mood again.

Not to hold anything against people he’s never met before, but it does suck how this accountant guy can just ruin the vibes like that.

The conversation seems to fizzle out between Prismo and Orbo from there, though the taller man does still tune into whatever it is that the rest of the people sitting in his general circle are talking about. Cosmac talked about a new, weird board game that he found, and one of his female coworkers confessed to stealing office supplies, which Orbo luckily just laughed off and joked to watch out for while the new auditor’s still in the business of catching that sort of stuff.

He was about to butt in with a joke of his own, until he noticed someone… odd, standing in the break room. They were on the shorter side, with pale, almost blueish gray hair. Dressed neatly, in a suit jacket, leaning on a fancy cane- oh, walking with the cane, alright then. Nevertheless, one main question reigned - who the hell is this? Then a second question was hurriedly brought up - why were they glaring daggers in Prismo’s direction?

Prismo found it hard to be sure what this person’s deal is - whether they had simply come into the break room to grab the coffee that they’re currently nursing in one hand, or specifically just to glare at him. Their attention seemed to be split pretty evenly between Prismo and the coffee, and for a split second Prismo had the thought that maybe he should leave the room before this person inevitably approaches him and some shit breaks out.

However, he found himself frozen to the spot like a deer in headlights, awkwardly staring back at the guy, food forgotten.

He stares.

Absent-minedly, he notes that someone just asked him a question.

The guy stares.

Prismo notes how the little group he was talking with got silent.

Prismo stares.

And all of a fuckin’ sudden, Prismo watches as the man finally blinks… and his eyes… are decidedly not human.

Unfortunately, the cane-and-coffee guy turns his head away in the split second following that realization, finally seeming to be over their little staring contest as he heads back towards the exit of the break room. Also unfortunately, Prismo can tell that his friends have caught on to whatever it was that Prismo and the coffee guy had going on.

“Mate, what the hell was that?? ”

“Hoo, Prismo, dude, that was terrifying- ”

A few similar comments rang out, as they tried to figure out whatever it was that Prismo had done to catch the guy’s eye, but really, he didn’t really have the mental capacity to respond to any of it. He was still caught up in… whatever it was that he saw going on with his face. Because, although he couldn’t get a clear look at him, Prismo could have sworn that the cane guy’s eyes were almost entirely yellow. Save for the single entirely black pupil staring him down just like it had milliseconds before the change. Was it just a trick of the light? It couldn’t be, could it? That was pretty extreme for… for a room with no windows that a messy light could pass through.

This thought plagued him for a long while afterwards.

Prismo knew for sure that he was worrying his friends.

Prismo spent the rest of his work day hardly getting any work done.

He felt practically deaf and blind to any of the happenings around him.

Finally, finally he could stand up from his desk when the clock hit six.

Prismo makes his way to the elevator, trying to shake off the unnerved feeling that he was about to get pounced on. That he was being stared at. But nobody was staring…

were they?

He gets on the elevator, still zoning out.

He pays no mind to someone getting in next to him before he presses the button to take them down.

He can’t help but continue to spiral, stuck on the fact that he was sure he saw some weird fucking bullshit happen in that breakroom that nobody else was acknowledging. Was he the only one who saw that? Or was he just that delirious?

Who the hell was that guy?

What the hell was tha-

“So, do you regularly arrive to work late or was today a special occasion?” A clear, serious tone spoke out next to him, breaking Prismo’s train of thought.

“Oh, uh, yeah nah-” The pink-haired man heaves an awkward chuckle, turning to his left, “I just have some troubles when it comes to waking up on time, y’know?”

And he’s faced with the same fucking guy again.

The guy has the audacity to look annoyed at him, still pinning him with the same angry glare that he did in the breakroom.

“Well, I suggest that you get a grip on that then.”

Chapter 2

Summary:

Prismo's decided that their new accountant is weird as hell. He then tries to talk to the guy about it.

Notes:

I've decided I'm going to post ~1 chapter per week, maybe twice if I have the free time for it! And if you've caught up on the fic and want to see some more of my writing, I have a winterkov fic that I'm writing at the moment too! Coughs-

Chapter Text

The interaction stays fresh in Prismo's mind as he finally stumbles out of the elevator in a panicked manner and makes his way out of the building in quick strides, the panic that's making its way into every step hurrying him along. It's only when he's finally three steps out the door and taking in the fresh air that the street has to offer that Prismo notes how he hadn't even bothered to respond to the man after the quick realization of who he was, like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on his head, leaving him frozen in shock.

In hindsight, it had ended in an awkward manner.

Not much can be done about it now though.

Nevertheless, he continues on his steady trek back home by foot, his apartment just over half an hour's walk away from the office building. As he owns no car, he'd gotten real lucky in that regard - at least, as lucky as one can be on rainy, cold or unbearably hot days.

When he finally makes it up the stairs of the bright yellow apartment building that he lives in, Prismo could have almost collapsed in joy at the sight of the scuffed door of his home. He makes his way into the messy apartment, letting out a satisfied sigh as all the noise of the world gets immediately shut out behind him.

Sure, he loves the hustle and bustle of the workplace, of the city, of hearing his neighbors going about their lives - all of them, reminders that there were people around, that Prismo had his element to lean into somewhere in the vicinity. But, he also tended to get quickly… overwhelmed by the messy noise of it all. He was fit for short moments of socialization between the occasional break to recuperate from the world, not for long stretches of all his senses screaming at him at once. And there were certain days where it even got bad .

immediately going and flopping onto the couch without even taking his shoes off. It’s covered in a variety of blankets and clothes and pillows like the world’s strangest nest, and honestly he uses it more than he does his actual bed.

You can blame it on the fact that it’s right in front of the tv, and the fact that his room feels just so uncomfortably void of life - practically minimalistic in its decor. That’s most of the house, but at least here in the living room there’s the subtle signs of friends and family in the clutter of the place - a stain on the floor from when Cosmac spilled coffee and left-over board games on the table, a rough patch on the wall from when Jake had gotten too caught up in Just dance. Various other little details that reminded Prismo that he wasn’t alone. Falling asleep in the living room felt like falling asleep among friends.

He doesn’t even realize that he’d fallen into a nap, only waking up when the darkness outside is already casting shadows in the apartment. Prismo lets out a dissatisfied groan. His sleep schedule is clearly going to shit. Regardless, a man still needs his dinner. Dinner in the form of takeout from a shitty local restaurant, but, hey, food nonetheless! Prismo just can’t afford to order from anywhere further than that place. Aurgh.

While he waits for the food to arrive, he puts some random evening cartoon on in the background and pulls up his laptop, trying to get some work done on a small writing project that he’d been working on in his free time. His thoughts are quickly derailed, however, as he remembers the freaky guy he saw in the break room and elevator…  someone he’s never seen before. When the hell did they hire anyone new? No way the guy was an intern.

Prismo feels like he’s forgetting something important.

Regardless, that dude was weird. He can’t describe what exactly was off about him, but during the borderline staring competition he’d gotten into during the lunch break, the whole time there were nothing but alarm bells going off in his mind. Something about him…

The guy’s eyes felt too empty and wide, that much he remembers. He can’t entirely describe it, just this uncanny feeling that came with being caught under his gaze too long. Prismo also noted how the man’s face seemed almost too expressionless despite the clear anger that was seething through in his appearance, something in the subtlety of body language telling Prismo that he was about to be jumped at while the man was just standing there, entirely neutral and unthreatening on the surface in hindsight. He just didn’t even know how to describe the sort of read that he got on the guy.

And then he blinked, and…

There’s a knock on the door. Food?

He spends the next few hours generally milling about his apartment, trying to get something, anything done to distract him from the blatant weirdness that followed him throughout the entirety of the day.

He doesn’t get anything done.

Around some time late in the night that he doesn’t even bother checking the time for, Prismo finally falls asleep on the couch, laptop still open on the table in front of him while the tall man himself bundles up with one of the various soft blankets within reach.

—

Things eventually moved on around the office, social stresses forgotten in favor of the workload.

Though Prismo did wind up getting reminded that the scary guy he’d seen was apparently their new accountant. Right, he’d forgotten about that detail at all, in the aftershock of the moment they’d… shared in the break room?

Nevertheless, in barely even a few weeks’ time after the incident, Prismo already found himself barely thinking of the new person in the room to the side of their office. And it seemed that everyone else slowly began to calm down too. Undeniably, the tense air that the new accountant brought everywhere he went still persisted despite Prismo doing his best to break the ice surrounding the subject, but with enough elbow sweat and effort it eventually became sort-of an inside joke, how creepy and quiet the reclusive man was.

And then, as is standard, the accountant even became an occasional subject of gossip over time. After all, almost nobody in the office knew anything about him. Simply the fact that the man drove to work, arrived perfectly punctually fifteen minutes early - yes, someone had actually timed him once - and seemed to have some issue with his knees that made him reliant on using his cane.

Other than that, he may as well be an entire mystery to anyone in the office.

So Prismo began to keep an eye out for anything he would overhear about the man.

Admittedly, there wasn’t much.

He and the guy still left the office at the same time, though luckily, he never seemed like a chatty person when they got into the elevator together. At least not after Prismo had visibly panicked when he got caught off-guard last time. Prismo still wasn’t sure whether the awkward silence was truly awkward on both sides.

His biggest breakthrough had been when Cosmac came back from visiting the man’s office visibly green in the face, and, after some pestering and questioning, it turned out that their new accountant ate bugs.

“What? As, like, a snack?”

“Dude, yes, hoooly shit. I’m telling you, I came in and he just- There was a cricket and. And he made eye contact with me while biting it’s head off-”

“Seriously??”

“Yes!” Cosmac’s voice fell down into a whisper-yell as he noticed one of their coworkers in the cubicle across from theirs curiously looking over. “I obviously asked him, like, dude, what are you doing. And this man said, ‘it’s just a snack’ and then I was obviously like where’d you get the crickets from and apparently he just orders bugs online?? To eat??”

“I mean, I’ve heard of people doing that, I guess?”

“Look, whatever it was, it was sick. And I mean, like, weird sick, not cool. He ate three more just in the time that we spoke! Trust me, I was trying to get out of that conversation fast. ”

Well, there goes another interesting fact to add into the mix. Let Prismo make a note to never have lunch with the man, apparently.

Other than that, though, the next time anything of note happened regarding the man was roughly two or three weeks after the fact.

Another day, a friendly coworker of his, Perry, had come into work looking… a little out of it. Prismo was concerned for his friend, obviously, as was everyone else in the office - the man that was usually a shining ray of positivity had now been reduced to a pale, shaking ghost. And then Scarab had come passing by and Prismo watched as Perry flinched , looking horrified at just the sight of the man.

Prismo seemed to be the only one who noticed.

Hurriedly, he had made his way over to Perry, but couldn't get a single peep out of the poor guy other than excuses that he had to get back to work.

So, asking him directly was clearly a dead end…

What had led to this, though? Previously, Perry had been one of few people to actually be nice to Scarab, which was a feat in and of itself as everyone else in the office was either cold and professional or terrified. Then again, though, Perry was nice to everyone.

And now…

Should he go and question Scarab, himself, then?

Prismo still didn't know why he was making himself to be so curious and involved with everything regarding their new accountant.

Regardless, as soon as the lunch break hit, Prismo was quick to let the others know that he wouldn't be joining them in the break room today. People questioned him, of course, and he came up with excuses that he's sure everyone knows were half-assed, but they left him alone for long enough that he could inconspicuously make his way over to Scarab's office door.

Without even a hesitant knock, he opened it up quickly enough to notice a flurry of movement milliseconds before the door revealed Scarab sitting there, looking genuinely startled for the very briefest moment before Prismo saw him school his expression back into neutral-anger.

" What do you want. " Came a clipped and almost offended sounding question faster than Prismo could even process, but he gave the shorter man a lazy smile and a friendly shrug anyways.

"Just checking in, dude. Sorry, were you on your lunch break there?" Prismo asked while closing the door, and was immediately startled by just how quiet everything inside immediately seemed, as soon as the office was closed off from the rest of the world. " Woah. " It was practically sound-proof.

See, his first time here was already filled with new discoveries!

Such as the fact that people didn't really need to be as quiet in their cubicles as they believed they should, in fear of Scarab.

"Woah? Are you surprised? " Scarab questioned him right back in a tone as if he was in a mix of disgust and shock - maybe contempt, even, while avoiding answering the taller man's own. Prismo quickly noted how he slipped something into a drawer on his side of the desk in the vague shape of a lunch-box. Alright then, so it was the man's break.

"Well, it's just… so quiet in here." He replies, not hiding his wonder as he looks around the office space. "I mean that in a good way. Quiet is nice." Prismo amends, before finally turning his head back towards the desk in the center of the messy-but-clearly-organized space and approaching without hesitation, to sit down in a chair in front of it.

Scarab visibly scowls at that. "I'm glad we can agree on that, at least. And I'd rather go back to that quiet."

"Right, I know, I know, I just had a few questions."

" What kind of questions?"

The almost immediate aggression in Scarab's voice took Prismo by surprise, and he raised his hands in surrender to placate the man. Though he noticed how the other only bristled more at the action.

"Just some questions regarding our coworkers! To see how you've been settling in, yknow?"

"I've been settling in just fine ."

"Great! That's great. And how's your relationship with your coworkers going-"

"I don't need one." Prismo had barely gotten the last vowel out before Scarab had cut him off with this reply. He noted the way the accountant's eyes seemed to hint at something, almost in a condescending look now, but he stubbornly chose to bulldoze over the warning to leave.

"Right, well, I was just curious about one coworker specifically. Y'see, I noticed Perry- "

" I haven't even spoken to him. Please leave. "

"What?"

" Are you deaf? Leave my office. "

"But-"

" Leave. "

Well, you could call that investigation an all-around failure.

Except… Prismo does now know that he and Scarab share a lunch break.

At least there’s that.

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