Work Text:
If it wasn't for the large backlog of overdue assignments spread out in front of him, Ryuji knew that there was no place he'd rather be than squeezed into one of Leblanc's booths with Ren on a Sunday afternoon. He longed to pull out a stack of manga, pointing out all his favorite scenes, before begging Sojiro to make some of the spicy curry he loved so much. Even Morgana would be an acceptable evil then, as the fiend always curled up on the table looking cute after stealing some chicken off their plates.
Instead, he had to deal with the horror of consequences. Namely that his procrastination and inability to focus on schoolwork had caught up to him. Kawakami had pulled him aside earlier that week and informed Ryuji that, unless he managed to submit all of his missing assignments by the end of the month, he'd be held back the coming year.
There were no words to describe how mortifying hearing that felt. The eyes he could feel on the back of his skull from eavesdropping classmates were bad enough. Nevermind the overreaction from Makoto upon hearing the news, her frustration at his lack of academic success greater than any anger she’d held toward him before. The taunting from Ann and Futaba about how that was typical of him was expected, but hurt nonetheless. Yusuke and Haru’s nonreaction to the situation stung something fierce, as if no other outcome could have occurred.
Worse than anything was having to tell Ren. It was already bad enough that his boyfriend would be moving back home at the end of the school year - now, their half-baked plans to go to the same college after graduating a year from now were close to falling apart. He'd expected disappointment, anger, even regret that they'd ever started dating at all.
Instead, all Ren had done was wrap Ryuji up in his arms and tell him that he'd do whatever he could to help him catch up in time.
Ryuji didn't know what to do with the kindness. It made him feel out of place, being respected instead of shamed for his struggles. All his life had been a series of rebuked failures every time he couldn't do what came to his classmates so naturally. He was the problem that needed to be fixed, not the mountain of coursework.
Which led to now, Leblanc empty aside from the two of them and Sojiro, who’d closed up shop under the guise of deep cleaning that needed to be done. Ryuji knew it was the old man giving the two of them some privacy from the prying eyes of the public, though he’d never admit it.
He was bouncing his leg beneath the table. It had started on reflex, an unconscious act that Ann often made fun of him for in middle school, but as soon as he became aware of it he couldn’t stop. Ryuji accompanied the motion with clicking the tip of his pen in and out, a staccato rhythm unable to beat how fast his heart was racing.
They’d agreed to tackle his backlog of assignments by first emptying out the bottomless pit that was Ryuji’s school bag, splitting the task in half. The first half hour had been spent simply dividing the trash and knick-knacks from the schoolwork itself, a near endless amount of arcade tokens, gacha prizes, and snack wrappers wedged between the pages of his books and folders. It was only once they’d sifted out all of the extra noise that the real work had begun.
The half Ryuji had tried to wrangle was disorganized at best, a jumble of papers from a variety of subjects ranging from the beginning of term to the current unit. Most were crumpled or stained from a can of orange soda that had exploded in his bag earlier that month. Ryuji had no idea how to begin working through them, let alone determining what was an actual assignment versus instructions or half-assed notes Makoto had forced him to take during one of their group study sessions.
Ren, on the other hand, had managed to not only wrangle his half of Ryuji’s mess into neat stacks grouped by subject, but also marked every individual item with a sticky note denoting when it had originally been due and what needed completing. He had a running list he was compiling of what should be tackled first and what could be left for the last minute.
Ryuji would never be able to do that. The fact sat hard in his chest, lodged the spike that had been wedged in his heart ever since he began going to school a little bit deeper.
Why couldn’t he be like everyone else? What was so wrong with him that he struggled to even read some days, nevermind complete the simple task of doing his homework on time?
He was pulled from his thoughts when Ren touched his hand, grabbing Ryuji's attention with a soft smile. Twirling in his off hand was his pen, around and around the mess that was Ryuji's academic life.
"I've got it figured out," Ren signed. "Most of these aren't hard, so you won't have to do much before submitting them."
Some part of Ryuji knew that Ren was only trying to help. That he was doing his best to aid him in getting everything done before it was too late. But the vicious part of him, the part that had grown up being told that he was too dumb to understand how to write or do math, reared its ugly head.
"I'm not as stupid as you think I am," Ryuji spat. "You don't need to dumb it down for me.
Ren's face was carefully neutral, but Ryuji saw the hurt reflected in his eyes. Whatever initial comfort was present in his outburst faded in an instant.
"I don't think you're stupid," Ren whispered. His words were nearly drowned out under the hum of the coffee machine.
Ryuji hid his face in his hands. "C'mon, man, don't lie to me. Everyone does."
"You're not." There was more force behind Ren's voice than Ryuji had ever heard before, even in the Metaverse. "You're one of the smartest people I know."
"That's not true."
"It is. Just because that intelligence isn't book-smart doesn't mean it's not there."
Saying nothing was easier than letting the lump in his throat turn into tears. Ryuji pulled his hands away from his face and tore at the edges of some of the papers in front of him.
"I just want to help."
"I know, it's just - no one's ever really tried before," Ryuji said, voice trembling. "At most they say they'll help and after a couple of hours give up. Or yell. I don't understand why you're not doing that. You should be mad at me."
"You haven't done anything wrong, Ryuji," Ren placed Ryuji's hands between his own, lifting them up and kissing his knuckles. "You've done the best you can with no support. I'm sorry we didn't offer it sooner."
He didn't know when he'd started crying, but Ryuji found his cheeks wet as Ren pulled him into a hug. Arms strong around his shaking shoulders, Ren held him firm as a lifetime's worth of being dismissed came out alongside the relief Ryuji hadn't realized he'd needed.
At some point, Morgana wedged himself between them, quiet purrs a grounding force as Ryuji slowly calmed down. He hated to admit that the stupid cat was being kind to him, but he supposed it fit in alongside all the other firsts the day had brought. Pulling back from Ren, he swept Morgana up into his arms and held the cat like a child who’d never held a baby before.
Ren laughed, watching as Morgana squirmed in Ryuji’s arms before finally escaping with a glare back toward his assailant. The sound was infectious; before long, Ryuji was laughing too.
When they’d both settled down, sides aching from how hard they’d laughed, Ren signed: “Are you ready to tackle some of these assignments?”
He wasn’t, not really, not ever. But Ryuji figured that right now, with Ren by his side, was the best chance he ever had of completing any of this. Abandoning himself wasn’t an option, not when he finally had someone to support him.
Ryuji nodded, pulling a stack of math worksheets closer to them. “Let’s try these.”
The smile Ren shot his way was brighter than the sun. The kiss on his cheek that followed made Ryuji feel as though he could accomplish anything.
Even if it took all night, he’d get this one thing done. The future didn’t seem quite so scary anymore, not when he had someone by his side.