Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first couple of days bleed together. Joyce stayed in bed, and Jonathan came by with small meals insisting she had to eat something. Their house was proverbial Fort Knox, no one went in or out. That was until Karen sent Nancy along with a casserole and for a briefest second at the dinner table Jonathan had a look in his eye that she's seen before but she couldn't remember when.

The next week the boys went back to school, she went back to work and found out that the town was once again well aware of her latest tragedy before she had the chance to tell them. They buried Bob's ashes on a Tuesday, that much she's sure of. Afterwards, in the church hall, she walked in on Nancy consoling Jonathan and it felt like she was watching herself stand there motionless. Begging herself to do something to comfort him. Before she could, Jonathan quickly dried his tears, stiffened his upper lip and straightened up. He even asked her if she was ok, and she felt so ashamed she cried.

The following day she cleaned the house in a rage while the boys were at school. When she realized all the drawings were long gone the anger truly took hold. It was all so fucking unfair. Owens got to survive and Bob died. Bob died. Bob was dead and she couldn't move to Maine now even if she wanted to. It was like a bomb went off and she was left to pick up the pieces of her life but she can't even manage to do that.

At some point one of Will's drawings found its way to the refrigerator. "Bob Newby Superhero" it shouted at her every time she double checked the fridge for a Demogorgon in the middle of the night.

Eventually, the days blurred into weeks so quickly that it was Thanksgiving before she knew it. Time is funny like that. Jonathan, of course, made all the sides and the only reason they ended up with a turkey is because Hopper had enough foresight to buy them one.

Something about sitting down to holiday dinner with her boys finally snaps her out of her grief-fueled daze. And it's with a mix of horror and guilt that she realizes the only reason their house is still standing is because of Jonathan. But if he resents her at all it doesn’t show.

Truthfully, she really doesn't remember much at all. It comes back in small flashes, Will seizing, Bob, Mike carrying Will out, Nancy stabbing him with a poker to get that thing out, but nothing ever sticks around long enough for her to make sense of any of it.

The next morning, Will begged to go sledding with Mike, Lucas and Dustin like they do every Friday after Thanksgiving she cautiously caves. She made sure he packed his supercomm and sent Jonathan along with him for good measure. Which neither of them seemed too thrilled about but she's not about to let Will go off on his own.

They're still gone when she gets home from work and she tries not to panic. It's only six or so, and sure the sun went down an hour ago but there could be a perfectly logical explanation as to why they're still out. She makes herself a leftover sandwich and picks at it while trying to find something to watch that isn’t the news. She doesn’t watch the news anymore. She’s about to give up and just go lay down when she hears Jonathan’s car pull up. Joyce doesn’t hear him turn off the car but a few minutes later he unlocks the door and makes a beeline for his room.

“Hello?” She calls out, confused by his odd behavior.

“Oh uh hey” he responds walking back into the door frame of the living room.

Jonathan leaves the front door ajar and the wind blows in, she wraps a blanket around herself to try and warm back up. Her stomach suddenly churns.

“Where’s Will?” she realizes.

She envisions him crashing into a tree and bleeding out in the passenger seat of Jonathan’s car.

“Oh I left him at Mike's” Jonathan explains.

She stares at him wide-eyed.

“I didn't think it was a big deal.” he mumbles, glancing down and up again.

“You couldn’t have asked first?” she cries a little too loudly.

“I’m.. I’m sorry…. they were all just really excited and.. and I think Mike got some new video game but I’m picking him up in a couple hours” Jonathan reassures.

“A couple hours?” she presses, suddenly tense.

“Yea” he shrugs.

“What could possibly be so important that you need to be alone for that long?” she shrieks.

Jonathan stares, then he starts getting, well, fidgety. He takes a couple of breaths, tries to start talking. But the only noise is the drone of the tv, the car outside, and his fidgeting. She’s about to ask again, but she reminds herself to be patient while he finds his words.

“I'm uh… Well I'm um…the thing is…” he stammers, nervously.

The thing about Jonathan is that while he's just as earnest as Will, his thoughts are more like a puzzle or maybe a maze. Either way, it's… challenging for him to express himself as freely as Will does. And while Joyce really hates to think of him as the harder one to parent, right now he's not making it any easier. She maintains eye contact and starts counting. If after fifteen seconds he doesn't say what he wants to she'll start asking leading questions. Gently coaxing him out of his shell.

“I'm going out with Nancy” he spits out all at once when he’s almost lost her attention.

“Nancy?” she asks.

“Yea” he nods.

“Nancy Wheeler?” she questions slowly, making sure that they’re on the same page.

“Yea, Nancy Wheeler” he says softly with a smile.

It’s not that she doesn’t like Nancy, not in the slightest but well the two of them are an odd pair. A long time ago, maybe ten years ago now, she and Karen would have brief little jokes about the two of them falling in love. And sure she knows they both had crushes on each other in middle school but as the years passed Joyce resigned that their jokes were just that, jokes; a fun way to pass the time while volunteering at the school. When she found them together last year it made a little bit of sense, what with everything else going on. But she’s really not sure what the two of them are doing hanging out without a threat of monsters. At least she hopes there’s no threat of monsters. Jonathan’s still rocking on his heels in the doorframe waiting for her to say something.

“Well have fun” she resigns, because she has so many questions but no idea where to start.

“Thanks… uh I gotta go, she's waiting for me.” he informs.

“Waiting for you?” she asks.

“Yea uh in my car” he answers.

“Your car?” she blinks at him.

“Yea”

“You left her in the car?” she hisses.

“Yea”

Leaving Nancy Wheeler in the car in the dead of winter, what is he thinking? It’s not like him to be inconsiderate.

“Jonathan” she scolds “Let her know she can come in next time”

“Right, right yea I will” he nods, making his way back out of the house as quickly as he came in.

She waits a full five minutes before getting up, throwing on her jacket and driving over to the Wheelers to sit outside just in case.

A few days later, Joyce finds herself shopping alone at the Big Buy. She doesn't remember the last time she went grocery shopping. Jonathan took over the chore when he turned sixteen. Once a week, usually Sunday, he meticulously pours over the ads scanning for the best deals and neatly writing it down with an M for Melvalds or a B for Big Buy.

But this weekend he just putted around the house. He helped Will with some English assignments in the morning and then he spent the afternoon digging through her records pulling out Simple Dreams, Madman Across the Water and Close to You. And before she could ask what in the world he was up to he snuck off to his room and she didn’t see him until dinner.

It didn't occur to her until last night that he couldn't make his usual list because she canceled their subscription to The Hawkins Post sometime in the last month. So, she decided she was more than capable of grocery shopping. Although now that she's staring at the half-off Hamburger Helper and trying to remember if Will loves or hates the cheesy Italian shells she's doubting her mothering abilities.

“Oh Joyce, what are you doing here?” Karen greets pushing Holly and a full cart down the aisle.

"Hey Karen" she greets, not bothering to answer her question. She's shopping obviously, it's not that weird.

"How are you?" She asks, voice syrupy sweet.

"Fine" Joyce answers, because she really doesn't want to have this conversation again.

It's sad. She's sad. And she's tired of people not knowing what to say when confronted with her sadness. As though she's supposed to comfort them through her grief.

"Right' she nods "Well I'm glad to see Will made a full recovery"

"Marvels of modern medicine" she jokes with no humor.

"Right I'm just sorry about-"

"It's fine we don't need to" Joyce cuts her off.

She's not about to hand-hold Karen Wheeler through the fear of mortality in front of the Hamburger Helper.

“Right right of course, oh how did Jonathan do on his math test?” she asks changing the subject and reaching to grab some boxes.

Joyce has the briefest flash of jealousy that Karen doesn't have to guess children's favorite foods.

"Math test?" She asks, registering what Karen asked a beat too late.

"Yea he was over a couple weeks ago studying with Nancy" she explains in a hushed whisper, with a dainty doe-eyed look.

"With Nancy?" She sounds out.

"Mhmm he said he was stressed about it" Karen tells her.

"Well he hasn't said anything to me" she shrugs, she hopes that means he did well. It isn't like him to lie about his grades. Granted when she asks it's usually a one-word answer but still.

"Oh… I mean they're so secretive at this age you know they think they can hide everything." Karen jokes.

Joyce thinks about all the things Nancy and Mike are hiding from her and resists the urge to laugh.

“Yea” Joyce nods.

"Oh well I better get going but if you need anything Ted and I are here" she promises, big eyes full of sympathy.

Joyce smiles, nods and waves her off. She'd sooner curl into a ball and die than ask the Wheelers for help. Besides, she doesn't even know what she needs help with. She tosses four boxes of Italian shells into the cart and continues around the store.

When she gets home, Jonathan's car is parked in the driveway and considering how much she bought at the store she's extremely grateful. She carries in one bag herself, leaving the rest for Jonathan. Upon entering the house she hears Mike, Dustin and Lucas shouting over one another in Will's room. She makes her way in, so she can put the groceries down before checking in that the boys aren't being too rough.

"This is too hard," Nancy's voice claims from the kitchen.

She nearly jumps at the sound. Mike being a guest is understandable, but Nancy? What is she doing here?

"It's not that hard" Jonathan reassures softly.

"Says you, I think it's extremely difficult." Nancy counters.

"Oh come on" he exclaims with a laugh.

"No really I mean it I can't focus at all" Joyce hears her claim as she turns into the living room.

"Well uh…. Do you…do you want to take a break?" he whispers.

"Smart boy" Nancy murmurs.

"Hey mom" Jonathan greets loudly and quickly.

"Oh hi Mrs.Byers" Nancy greets, turning around to face her.

"Hi Nancy" she returns, she swears she sees Nancy's chipper expression fall for a fraction of a second but it returns so quickly that she decides not to think too much about it.

"Jonathan, do you mind?" She asks motioning to the grocery bag.

"Yea sure" he answers, getting up from his seat to grab the rest of the groceries from the car.

"Do you-" Nancy starts to offer.

"No no it's ok I got it" Jonathan cuts her off.

Joyce starts unpacking the milk and the rest of her bag.

"So what are you two up to?" She questions, aiming for nonchalant.

"Oh just studying for our math test." Nancy answers.

"Math test?"

"Yea on Friday"

"You know I just ran into your mom and she mentioned a math test from a couple weeks back" Joyce informs.

It's not that she's trying to catch Nancy in a lie. It's just odd.

"Oh the teacher, Mr. Mundy, he's a total stickler. We take tests like every other week." Nancy explains, annoyance creeping into her voice.

"Oh then it's good that you're studying together." Joyce smiles.

Maybe that's all they are then. A couple of study buddies. She's pretty sure they're both top of the class but maybe Jonathan needs the extra help now that he's a Junior. College is just around the corner after all. Or maybe Nancy is struggling in math and Jonathan's helping her out. She smiles at the thought.

“Did you buy out the whole store?” he jokes when comes back into the kitchen two bags under each arm.

“Well I had to we're bare bones around here” she justifies.

Jonathan shakes his head, huffs out something that sounds like yea and sets all four bags on the table. Nancy hops up to help him unpack, pulling things out and organizing them into piles. Joyce opts to start on the few dishes in the sink before the kitchen gets even messier.

"What's wrong?" She overhears Nancy asking softly.

"Uh nothing" Jonathan answers, clearing his throat.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watches him put away the Hamburger Helper and a couple other jars. Meanwhile, Nancy hesitates in front of the fridge until Jonathan sneaks behind her, whispers something that makes her laugh and opens it. Joyce is about to ask them what's so funny but she can hear the rustling of Will and his friends coming down the hallway.

"Jonathan tell Dustin that the story about Phil Collins and the drowning kid isn’t a real thing" Will demands barging into the kitchen.

Jonathan practically jumps out of his skin at the intrusion and she makes a mental note to remind Will that the only loud thing Jonathan likes is music.

"It’s totally a real thing," Dustin shouts.

"Uh I don't know I've never heard it" Jonathan answers, collecting himself.

"What the rumor?" Lucas asks calmly.

"No the song" he answers.

"Told you" Mike mumbles.

"How have you never heard of it?" Nancy questions.

"This may shock you but I don't listen to Phil Collins" Jonathan answers with a grin.

"It's in Risky Business" Nancy explains softly, the slightest hint of a challenge in her voice.

"Yea well I don't like Tom Cruise as much as you do" he smirks at her.

Nancy looks back at him and scrunches her nose. Jonathan is wearing an expression that she can't quite place. It's playful. Teasing or maybe taunting. Either way it almost seems like it doesn't quite fit him.

“Who cares about Tom Cruise, is it about calling the guy out or not?” Dustin shouts again.

"Jeez" Joyce sighs, wondering where he possibly gets all this energy.

“No, no I don't think so” Nancy answers resolutely..

“Then why does he say he can feel it coming and that he’s been waiting all his life” Dustin asks.

"Are those the actual lyrics?" Jonathan wonders a grin creeping across his face as he looks to Nancy to answer.

"More or less. You should really see it in Risky Business" she informs him with a mischievously sly smile.

“Where'd you even hear that anyway?” Lucas taunts.

"Steve" Dustin answers.

Nancy's cheerful face once again drops momentarily. But this time Jonathan notices and gives her a concerned look. And Joyce is straining to try and remember who Steve is and why he earns that reaction.

“How many times do I have to tell you Steve isn't a reliable source” Mike chastises.

"Alright, who's staying for dinner?" Joyce finally asks, not content to listen to thirteen year olds argue much longer.

"Do you want to?" Jonathan asks Nancy in a low whisper.

"Yea, but it's just we're supposed to be having a family movie night thing" Nancy whispers back.

"Oh uh right well then I can take you home" he nods.

"Thanks" Nancy smiles sweetly at him.

"Yea thanks Jonathan" Mike echos and Will snickers. Nancy shoots a death glare at both of them, which she thinks is a bit unkind but doesn’t say anything.

The kids pack up their things and Joyce honestly isn’t too upset to see them go. Not that she doesn’t like them, she just enjoys the quiet of herself and the boys.

“Will, where are you going?” Joyce questions as he pulls his coat on.

“With Jonathan” he admits shyly, twisting his hands around.

“You all won’t fit in the car” she points out with a nervous laugh.

“Mom please” he begs.

“It’s fine we can squish” Dustin grins.

“He’ll fit in the front seat” Jonathan asserts.

She stares at him incredulously, she can’t believe he’s encouraging this.

“There are five of you” she contends.

“I can sit in the middle Mrs. Byers” Nancy offers.

“That’s an awful tight squeeze” she frowns.

“It’s fine really I don’t mind” Nancy claims, exchanging a look with Jonathan.

“I’m sure she doesn’t” Mike snides to Will.

Nancy rolls her eyes and then shoots him a glare.

“Mom” Jonathan says more like a question.

Joyce looks from him to Will. She sighs, she’s supposed to be letting him go. That’s what’s healthy, besides he’ll be safe with Jonathan. Well as safe as one can be squished into a car.

“Fine but no pit stops” she concedes.

“Oh before I forget” Jonathan says, popping into his room as the rest of them pack up their things.

“This is for you” he offers, handing Nancy something she can’t quite make out from the couch.

“Oh great another mixtape” Mike snides and Will laughs.

Mike swipes the tape from his sister and quickly exits the house, followed by Will with Nancy at their heels yelling at Mike to give it back. She really doesn’t know where Karen gets the energy to handle those two. Dustin and Lucas quickly wave their goodbyes to see the commotion in the front yard.

“Uh bye mom” Jonathan mumbles hastily, rushing out to break-up the Wheeler’s latest spat.

“Bye” she nods but he’s already out of sight.

Jonathan must’ve managed to placate everyone into getting in the car, because a couple minutes later she hears them peel out of the driveway. While they're gone, she decides to finally fold the laundry that Jonathan’s left in the basket too long and she notices that his yellow sweater has gone missing. She knows it was in the basket this morning. She drives herself a little crazy, frantically searching around the house for where it possibly went.

On her second comb-through of the house, she thinks about looking in his room. She's standing at the door trying not to give into the temptation to turn the knob. She’d just be looking for his sweater, it’s not like she’s going to snoop around to try and figure out what's been going on with him lately. Then again, he and Will could be home any minute and she doesn't want to get caught.

She's about to give in when she hears the crunch of gravel. She drops her hand and rushes back to the living room, making it just in time for Jonathan and Will bursting into the house. As Jonathan peels off his coat, she realizes that Nancy was wearing his sweater when she left. But that's normal. Friends can lend each other their clothes Mike and Will do it all the time. Nothing to be alarmed about.

The first day the snow finally sticks to the ground, she's relieved to find that Jonathan shoveled it out of the way without her having to ask. He even went out of his way to de-ice her car and she's grateful for it. But she didn't get the chance to thank him because he and Will left the house unusually early. Her day at work goes by incredibly slowly, no doubt due to no one wanting to leave their houses if they don't have to.

At some point, Hopper is the only one in the store. He begs for her help and she follows him to the feminine hygiene aisle. She does her best to help him but doesn't envy what he has to go home to.

He doesn't talk about Bob or ask how she is or worry about Will. He just laments about how far out of his depth he is. And it's nice, almost normal. Or normal adjacent.

Before she knows it, it's time to close up and pick up Will from the AV club. She tries to ignore the cold on the walk out to her car and ends up zoning out a little until she's in the middle school parking lot. She's surprised to see Jonathan's car parked in the lot. He's standing with the hood open, and for the briefest second as he's hunched over he reminds her so much of Lonnie she thinks she's going to be sick.

She blinks hard and shakes her head for good measure and her sweet baby boy returns. She gets out of her car deciding that whatever's going on can't be good. The snow crunches under her shoes, catching his attention.

"Oh hey mom, what are you doing here?" He asks when she approaches.

"Picking up Will, what are you doing?" She asks.

"Uh trying to start my car" he laughs nervously.

“Ah”

“Yea you don’t have to… I mean I can do it myself, it’s no big-”

"Hi Mrs. Byers" Nancy greets appearing from the passenger seat.

"Oh hi Nancy" she greets a little startled by her presence.

"I told you to wait in the car, it's too cold" Jonathan harps, wrinkling his brow.

“It's fine" Nancy insists with a smile.

She doesn’t look the least bit cold, as she encroaches into his space. Joyce is momentarily taken aback by Nancy’s boldness.

"Did you figure out what's wrong? She asks, raising her eyebrows.

If Jonathan minds her being in his bubble he doesn't show it. Which strikes her as strange considering how skittish he can be with anyone who isn't her or Will.

“Could be the spark plugs” he answers.

“Right and what do they do?” She asks, eyes bright and inquisitive.

“It creates a spark”

Nancy rolls her eyes.

“Right sorry basically it ignites the fuel which makes the car-”

“Move” she finishes with that sly smile again.

"I thought you said you didn't know anything about cars" he quips in a tone nearly identical to Lonnie's all those years ago.

Except, it was Spring then and she was the one with car trouble. She took his offer of a ride home and the rest was history. Ancient History. That she only really has to remember once in a blue moon when Jonathan turns his head just right, or when he sounds too much like her past, or when he gets angry at her. Joyce has a sudden acidic taste in her mouth and she takes a deep breath of the cold air hoping to get rid of it. Jonathan is not Lonnie. He doesn’t even really look like Lonnie. He’s more her son. They have the same cheeks, the same hair color, the same mouth, the same bags under their eyes.

“Yea well I'm a fast learner" Nancy smirks.

“Oh yea?” He challenges.

“Have you gone that long without replacing them?” Joyce asks, refocusing on the problem at hand.

“Uh no so it might just be because it's cold as shit.” Jonathan jokes.

“It's not that bad”

“Says you, I could use warming up” he mumbles and Nancy raises a brow.

Just then, the doors to Middle School burst open, startling all three of them. She can hear the boys loudly chatting away. A maroon BMW swings into the parking lot closely followed by Susan’s car. Dustin and Lucas break apart from the group and Will and Mike continue their march through the snow.

“I guess we’ll leave the car here and we can come back.” Joyce resolves.

“I don’t want to leave it overnight.” Jonathan grumbles.

“Well then, we’ll go to the store and come back. It's fine.” she assures.

Jonathan exchanges a look with Nancy. They have a wordless conversation that she can’t begin to translate and he reaches over and closes the hood.

“Hi Mrs. Byers” Mike pants

“Hi Mike, sweetheart” She greets and Nancy shivers.

She figures the poor girl must actually be freezing and putting on a brave face about it.

“Where’s you mom?” She asks Mike.

“Oh uh”

“I was going to take Mike and Nancy home” Jonathan informs

“Oh well, I can drop them off” Joyce decides.

“Are you sure?” Nancy hesitates

“Yes, let's just get in the car” she answers.

“Shotgun” Will calls quickly and Mike groans.

Joyce raises her brow wondering how Will thinks Jonathan’s going to fit in the backseat of her car but he doesn’t seem to mind one bit.

“C’mon please” Mike begs.

“No” Will holds his ground.

“I’ll lend you my copy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” Mike promises.

“Nuh uh, it’s your turn” Will insists.

“Ugh fine” Mike whines and she wonders what that’s all about.

They all pile into the car, she worries for a minute that the three of them aren’t going to fit in the back seat. Jonathan’s badgering Will to move his seat up, Mike is screeching at his sister to move her butt so he can buckle and Nancy looks squished in the middle. She sighs, pinching her nose. She’s about to go into the school and call Karen to tell her to come get the kids but she hears the doors finally shut. She peeks into the rearview mirror and Jonathan’s got his arm around Nancy to make things a bit more roomier and they all seem to be waiting on her now.

“Everyone buckled?” She asks.

There’s a chorus of yea’s and she pulls out of the lot.Then they’re all so quiet she thinks she might scream.

“What’s a teenage mutant ninja turtle?” She asks Will, eager to learn about his new interest and get rid of the silence.

Will and Mike begin rapidly talking about Shredder and Splinter and turtles exposed to chemicals. She doesn’t really understand any of it but nods along anyway. Jonathan and Nancy are still quiet as church mice in the backseat and she decides to engage her older son too, fearing that he might feel left out. So once Mike and Will finish, she starts to ask the question that he never really answered.

“Jonathan?”

“Hmm?”

“You never said what you were doing at school this late” she presses.

“Yearbook” he mutters, from the backseat.

She hates when he does that, the one word answers. It makes everything so much more difficult. And he was just so chatty with Nancy too, but now he’s clammed up and she’ll have to open him up again.

“Since when are you in the yearbook?” she asks.

“Since September?” he huffs in disbelief, which she doesn’t think is fair seeing as she doesn’t remember him telling her.

“Yea, Jonathan and I decided to join together at the start of the year. All the other clubs were filling up and I figured he takes such nice photos and I write pretty well and do layout stuff. We thought it’d look good for college, you know?” Nancy explains rapidly.

Joyce is having another extreme case of deja vu in the driver’s seat. Long before three children broke her down, Karen was as much, if not more of a chatterbox as Nancy. And she had long forgotten how much she disliked it. And it wasn’t so much an indifference to Karen, or to Nancy now, she’s just always found it irritating when people don’t say what they mean clearly.

“I’ve told you.” he asserts.

“Right, right of course I must’ve just forgotten” she nods, but she’s not entirely sure that he's telling the truth. She doesn’t think she’d forget his extracurriculars or hobbies or college.

“Mom?” Will says, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Yea”

“What’s for dinner?” he asks.

“I’m thinking Hamburger Helper does that sound good?” she answers.

Will responds with an encouraging humming sound but she hears him sigh from the backseat.

“Jonathan?”

“Yea uh yea that’s fine mom.” He mumbles, and then the car is quiet again.

In a last ditch effort to ignore the silence, she throws on the radio. She’s not even sure what station it’s on or the last time she played music in here, but anything will work. In the backseat, Nancy perks up humming along to the melody.

“Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby” she sings softly and Jonathan laughs quietly.

She’s not sure what’s so funny, Nancy has a nice voice. Sure, it’s not superstar quality, but she seems to remember Karen bragging about her getting a couple solos in the Hawkins High Choir, at least before she quit last winter. She’s still probably more talented than the rest of the choir and Joyce can’t figure out why Jonathan would tease her about it.

“What?” Nancy asks.

“Nothing” he whispers.

“I like this song” she explains.

“Of course you do” he taunts.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she questions.

“Nothing” he maintains with a little laugh.

“Oh come on just tell me” she coaxes softly.

Mike groans loudly just as Joyce pulls up to the Wheeler’s. She’s not even sure if she comes to a full stop before he’s thrown off his seatbelt and flung open his door.

“See you Will” he rapidly chirps.

“Yea see ya later” Will replies.

“So I’ll call you later?” Nancy asks.

“Yea” Jonathan answers.

“Ok”

“Ok… bye”

“Bye”

“Nancy come on” Mike shouts from the walkway.

Nancy gets out of the car much slower than her brother. She takes her time collecting her things, scooting over to the door and standing in the frame before closing it.

“Bye” she says again, softer this time.

“Bye” Jonathan responds, equally soft.

Nancy shuts the door and Jonathan leans back into the seat. Joyce watches as Mike pesters Nancy about something and they bicker up the walkway to the door. She finds herself relieved that she doesn’t have to deal with that from her boys. They both turn around to give final waves before going inside and Joyce waits until the door shuts behind them to drive off.

“How long have you been driving Nancy and Mike home?” she asks.

“For like a month” Will snarks.

And from the backseat Jonathan bursts into laughter but doesn't let either of them in on the joke.

One evening, when she gets stuck later at work than she wanted, she finds herself not fully ready to go home. It’s silly, she knows it is, but she drives around town anyway. She convinces herself that she needs to stop in at the Big Buy anyway, and wanders the aisles for another half hour despondently looking at things she knows she doesn’t need. When she makes it to the snack aisle, her eyes bore into the jiffy pop and she ends up buying five. After checking out, she drives home in earnest. But she still goes the long way around so she can avoid that place. She leaves her grocery bag in the car because she doesn’t feel like explaining herself. When she opens the front door, she’s immediately met with the force of David Bowie over the speakers.

“What does that mean? Not sure if you're a boy or a girl” she hears Will ask from the kitchen.

“It means that gender is a social construct” Jonathan answers.

“Then how come you don't let Nancy drive?” he asks.

“Because she'd kill us” he counters with a little laugh and Joyce frowns. It’s not like him to criticize that harshly.

“Bull”

“No I swear, last week she almost drove over ice and then said I was distracting her” he informs amused.

He’s teaching Nancy to drive? That’s news to her.

“Well, were you?” Will questions.

“Finish setting the table” Jonathan instructs, as she comes into the kitchen.

“Oh hey mom, you’re just in time for dinner” Will greets, happily.

“Where have you been?” Jonathan asks, clearly annoyed.

“Working”

“You could’ve called” he argues.

"Julie had an emergency with the baby, it was a last minute thing” she excuses.

“Still would’ve been nice to know” he grumbles and she shudders at the way his tone sounds just like his father’s when she did something wrong.

“What’s for dinner? I’m starving” Joyce changes the subject.

“Hamburger Helper” he answers.

She thinks she hears him mumble ‘what else’ but she can’t be too sure. She shakes it off, Jonathan isn’t one to complain about leftovers or repeat dinners. He's sensible that way, he knows they don't have enough money for variety.

“Did you get a chance to pick up razors?” Jonathan asks as she sits down.

“What?”

“I asked if you could get them this morning” he explains quietly.

She strains trying to remember. The morning was so hectic, she was frantically looking for her keys, Will was stressed about his science test, maybe Jonathan did ask but she can’t be sure.

“Oh sweetie, I’m sorry I completely spaced” she excuses.

“It’s fine," he says in a tone that sounds the complete opposite.

The three of them sit down for dinner and Jonathan pushes his food around as Will talks about how he examined owl poop in school today, she reminds him that that’s not a dinner appropriate conversation and Will complains a bit. Jonathan nearly drops his food on his clothes and she notices he’s wearing something new.

“Where’d you get that scarf?” she asks suddenly.

“Oh uh Nancy gave it me” he answers.

“You two have been spending an awful lot of time together lately” she notes.

“Yea well you know” he shrugs, suddenly shy.

Will make a very judgemental scoffing noise and she wonders what that’s all about. She smiles along, hiding her confusion.

“It’s nice” she informs.

“Hmm?”

“That you’re teaching her how to drive it’s nice of you” She explains.

“Oh yea more like trying to” he smiles so easily that she feels the slightest prick of jealousy before pushing it back down.

“Can you teach me how to drive too?” Will chirps.

“Yea”

“Yea?” Will lights up with excitement.

“Yea totally” Jonathan grins.

“Maybe in three years” she finally interjects.

“Oh Mom?”

“Hmmm”

“Can you teach me to dance?” Will asks sincerely.

“What?”

“For the Snowball”

“You're going to the Snowball?” she questions, wondering again if she’s misremembering or if this new information.

“Yea”

“I don’t...”

“But Jonathan's going too, right Jonathan?” Will demands.

“Uh right” Jonathan nods.

“What?”

“He's volunteering with Nancy so it’s ok if I go right?” Will decides.

“Well uh-”

“Speaking of, is it ok if I see a movie with Nancy tonight?” Jonathan asks before she can answer Will or ask him about volunteering.

She’s starting to think that they planned whatever this is while she was out.

“Fine, as long as you're home by ten” Joyce answers, only because she can’t think of a reason for him not to go.

“Ten thirty?” he counters, hopefully.

She’s taken aback by his attempt to negotiate. She’s never had a problem with him trying to push his curfew before. Granted, the handful of times he was out of the house late on a school night was because he was at work but still.

“Ten, I don't need a call from Karen about you keeping her up all night” she maintains.

Jonathan makes a sputtering noise, and she looks up just in time to see him choking on his soda and Will wide-eyed and trying not to laugh.

“Are you alright?” she stresses.

“Yea fine, fine” he claims, clearing his throat.

“Does that mean I can stay at the arcade longer?” Will asks hopefully.

“The arcade?”

“Well it’s just…Jonathan… Jonathan said I could go if I finished my work and everyone is going and-”

Will looks like he's about to cry if she says no and she can't believe that Jonathan would back her into a corner like this.

“I can pick him up, it's fine.” Jonathan insists.

“No, it’s no" she waves him off and then sighs.

"I’ll pick you up at nine” she tells Will.

“That’s not fair!” he protests.

“Will, sweetie we talked about this”

But he quickly gets out of his chair, picks up his coat and makes his way to the door, not bothering to listen or talk about things. She exchanges a look with Jonathan. Will shuts the front door louder than normal and she sighs.

“He just wants to be like the rest of his friends you know” Jonathan offers getting up to clear their plates.

She doesn't miss what's left of his dinner winding up in a container.

“I know but-”

“He's almost fourteen. I was out way later when I was his age” Jonathan argues.

“That's not the-”

“And you know Mike wouldn't let anything happen” he reassures.

“I know but-”

“Mom, he hasn't had an episode since.”

That was true. She hadn’t taken him in to check, she refuses to enter that building. But from what Hopper told her, Will's last brain scan was perfectly normal. And there’s been no zoning out, no unsettling drawings, sure he still had nightmares but she figures that’s part of their new normal.

“Tell him if Karen picks them up at nine he can stay at Mike's until you drop off Nancy but if not-”

“He calls you got it” he nods.

He picks up his jacket off the back of the chair and slides it on, then checks his pocket for his keys and picks up Will’s from the kitchen counter.

“You should see if Hopper wants to come over or something.” he suggests.

She thinks she must be hearing things because this can't be the same boy who was so adamantly against sweet, kind, gentle Bob integrating himself into their lives.

“Excuse me?” she exclaims, blinking at him in confusion.

“Just so you know you aren’t all alone tonight.” he explains softly.

“I'm sure he's got other plans.” she shakes her head.

“Yea right, see you later” he notes, giving her a kiss on her head as he exits the kitchen and she’s left at the table trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

The next time she’s home alone on her day off and the boys are at school she gives in to her temptation. At first, nothing truly seems amiss in Jonathan’s room. It looks the same way it always has, straddling the line between messy and just clean enough that she doesn’t tell him to clean it. His chair is covered with not quite dirty clothes, stray jackets hang from the hooks on the wall, a couple of canisters of film crowd his nightstand. But then, she spots a pile of neatly folded newspapers sitting on top of his dresser underneath Bob's camera.

“What the hell?” she mumbles, approaching the stack and taking the camera away.

It's not just the Hawkins Post but the Chicago Sun Times, The Indianapolis Star, The Journal Gazette. As she thumbs through, she can’t find anything tying the collection together. He hasn’t circled or marked anything; there's no rhyme or reason for him needing these. She lifts up a copy of The Boston Globe and is surprised to find Bob’s funeral pamphlet. Her throat burns, she gently picks it up and lovingly strokes the image of her face. He should be here, he was supposed to be here. She opens the book and out slides a newspaper column, ‘Bob Newby: A Life by Jonathan Byers & Nancy Wheeler’ the obituary reads.

Warm tears are accompanied by a tightness in her chest. In her rush to dry her tears, she creates a wind and the obituary falls to the floor.

"Shit" she mumbles, dropping down to pick it back up.

For a minute, she thinks her mind is playing tricks on her. That the object she spots hiding under his bed is just a bottle of lotion or a rolled up magazine, or some other perfectly reasonable thing for a teenage boy to hide under the bed. But when she reaches for it, a wave of fear washes over her.

What the hell is Jonathan doing with a bottle of vodka underneath his bed?

She's not sure what's worse, that he has it or that it's half-empty. In a panic, she haphazardly puts the papers back, hurriedly leaves his room and hides the vodka in her bedroom closet.

Joyce paces around her room thinking up a flurry of questions. Sure, there was the obvious: Why did he have it? But it was quickly followed by, how did he get it? Did he buy it himself? Did someone else get it for him? If so, who? Maybe it was some weird belated gift from Lonnie. But no, he hadn't come around in a year. Jonathan wouldn't go visit him. Would he?

She slumps onto her bed feeling defeated. She crawls under the quilt. Who is she supposed to talk to about this? Karen wouldn't understand or worse would judge her. Hopper has enough on his plate as it is. It's not like she can ask Jonathan directly. Her heart aches for Bob. She wants him to come back, tell her that it's alright, and find a logical explanation for this. Hot tears leak out and she doesn't do anything to stop them.

Hours later, there's a soft knock on her door and in the place between sleep and awake she dreams that Bob's here to fix her problems.

“Mom" Jonathan greets softly, rocketing her back to reality.

She shuffles around in bed not ready to face him just yet.

“I made soup and grilled cheese, Do you want some?” He follows up.

She knows that she can't just swing the door open and demand answers. She doesn't want to scare him off. She hesitantly drags her feet to the floor and opens the door.

Jonathan's in his only white button-down shirt but it doesn't match at all with his tattered jacket and she's struggling to remember if he wore this to school or why he would. A presentation maybe?

"It's uh in the kitchen" he explains, walking back down the hallway.

She follows along. It can't be that he's out of clothes, she just did the laundry. Maybe it's something for work? Or a job interview? Then again, wouldn't he put on a tie for that? Besides, he'd tell her if he had an interview, wouldn't he?

When they get to the kitchen only two places are made up at the table and Will is already at one.

"Ok uh sandwiches and soup and uh there's an extra one on the stove if you guys wanna split that" Jonathan explains.

"You're not eating?" She questions concerned. Even in the worst days of Will's disappearance last fall, she's never known him not to eat.

"No uh I'm going to the Wheelers for dinner" he rattles off.

"Oh"

"Yea" he smiles hesitantly.

"You're not going to the Wheelers too?" She asks Will.

"Can I???" Will exclaims, lighting up like he's getting away with something.

"No" Jonathan answers gravely.

"Jonathan!" She scolds.

"Mom, seriously?" He begs.

"What I'm sure Karen-"

"Can't I just" he starts before stopping himself to rethink his words "I can bring Will next time I promise but tonight I'd like to go alone if that's ok"

His eyes are flitting around the room but can't seem to meet hers and she wonders if he's lying about his dinner plans. For a minute, she's about to tell him that she knows about the vodka. And then ask what else he's lying about. She’s pretty sure she’s smelled weed on him a couple times. She’s dying to ask how stupid he thinks she is. To pick a fight, just to feel something. But his expression is so soft and concerned. And she recoils, remembering that she swore she'd never be as cruel as her mother.

"Ok honey" she concedes.

Jonathan nods, ruffles Will's hair, and kisses her on the cheeks before leaving the kitchen.

"Jonathan" she calls after him.

"Yea" he responds, stopping dead in his tracks in the living room.

"Why don't you put your black sweater over your shirt. It matches better" she advises.

"Right uh thanks mom" he smiles.

She hears him pop into his room and then he's out the door. His car turns over just as she sits down. It's only then that it registers how weird a dinner invitation without Will is. Maybe he and Nancy are more friends than study buddies, he is teaching her how to drive after all. Then again maybe they finally… but no. No, no, that’s just her old fantasy talking.

"What do you think they talk about?' She asks Will before she can stop herself.

"I don't know books and stuff" Will answers in between bites.

"Books?"

"Yea" he swallows "Nancy lent him some book called Seeds something I think it has to do with flowers I'm not really sure"

"Flowers?" she drawls.

"Yea and Jonathan gave her some poetry book to read" he explains.

"Poetry?" She asks.

"Yea he said it won a Pulitzer"

"Huh"

It's not too weird. Jonathan loves to read, he has since he was a kid. And Nancy's a smart girl, a book exchange isn't that odd really. Though Jonathan prefers Vonnegut and Salinger, maybe he's expanding his reading.

"And Mike says they listen to music a lot” Will relays.

“Oh…really?” She questions Jonathan's music is well an acquired taste.

"Nancy likes New Order" he shrugs and she nods even though she doesn't have the slightest clue what that means.

Joyce waits up for him, she doesn’t mean to at first. Will bounces off to bed first and she means to follow after. But before she knows it, she’s flipping through the channels trying to find something to deafen the silence and the next thing she knows she hears Jonathan driving up. She slouches a little, trying her best to look natural as he walks through the door.

“Oh hey, you didn’t have to wait up” he greets.

“Oh no I didn’t just there was a good episode on” she lies.

“Right” he nods, seeing right through her fib.

Jonathan lingers in the doorframe, rocking in his heels and running his fingers over the notches that keep the record of his and Will's growth spurts.

“What is it?” she finally asks.

“Did you… did you ever want to leave?” he stammers, looking more at the floor than her.

“Hmmm?”

“Hawkins” He specifies with all the animosity that comes with being seventeen and feeling stuck in a small-town.

She blinks at him in response, her words won’t come out. She takes a deep breath and wonders how long he’s wanted to ask. Judging by the focus in his eyes, she guesses that he’s been wondering for a while. She mentally berates herself for being so taken aback, she should know by now that he reserves his words for deeper questions than ‘how are you?’

She clears her throat and he straightens up.

“I…” she hesitates, she can’t tell him that a month ago she had them all packed up and living in a nice house in Maine. Or that as a girl she saved every nickel and dime desperately hoping to run off to California. That she foolishly applied to UCLA, USC and Pomona because she thought they’d accept her and that she could leave this town behind.

“My mother beat me to it” she laments bitterly.

Jonathan perks up, they don’t talk about her family and he’s clearly at least a little curious. He furrows his brow, walks into the living room and takes a seat.

“She was a nurse and she left to go help in Vietnam and then she just… never came back and your grandpa… he was sick so...” she whispers, like somehow her mother will come in yelling about how it’s all lies.

“So you never left” he finishes softly.

“He needed me” she notes more to herself than to him.

Jonathan doesn’t look entirely satisfied with her answer, but she changes the subject and closes their family history back up again.

“How was dinner?”

“Fine, fine, it was good Karen made meatloaf. Mr. Wheeler just talked a lot about IU, and law, and how art school isn’t sensible” Jonathan recounts.

She frowns and nods.

“Yea… yea I’m pretty sure he hates me” he sighs and looks up at the ceiling like the answers to winning over Ted’s favor will be found there.

She scoffs, catching his attention again.

“If he thinks art school isn’t sensible, I’d hate to tell him about the Upside Down” Joyce jokes.

“Yea” Jonathan huffs out a laugh.

But she can tell he’s not entirely convinced and it makes her heart ache.

“Hey look at me” she instructs and he complies.

“Whatever you want to do I’ll support you, you know that right?”

“Yea, yea I know” he acknowledges.

She knows there’s something else lingering, something he wants to ask or tell her but he hasn’t built up the courage to just yet. So instead she nods, Because it's important to her. Believing in both her boy's dreams. Her mother didn't believe in hers and look where they got her. Asking the same twenty people if they found everything ok in a store that hasn't changed since she was in high school. When she could've been designing the latest fashion in Milan. Or costuming for Hollywood. Or been anywhere other than here.

“Even if it’s law school” she jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

That earns her an honest laugh and she feels a sense of pride in her parenting until she remembers the vodka. Now, she’s the one without courage.

“Well I think I’ll head to bed, don’t stay up too late” she bids, running away from the problem. She’s so determined to evade, that she doesn’t even notice he’s wearing a new tie that he didn’t leave the house in.

That night, she’s haunted by her memories. Jim Hopper, on leave from the war, begging her to come with him and leave this town behind. Her dad calling her Darlene in his final days. Lonnie throwing a bottle at her head. Will not remembering Bob. Or her. The only new addition is Jonathan skipping town with Nancy and never coming back. And in the morning she feels more guilty and confused than ever.

Joyce assumed or maybe hoped that she'd never have to talk about things like underage drinking with Jonathan. Afterall, he wasn’t like her. She spent most, if not all, of her adolescence sneaking around and doing things she shouldn’t have been doing. Sneaking out of the house, sneaking out of town, sneaking cigarettes with Jim Hopper behind the bleachers. God, the things she used to do behind those bleachers. She supposes by comparison anyone would look like a saint. But Jonathan was exceptionally good; he kept to himself, rolled with the punches and was incredibly diligent. He’s had his future college picked out since he was six, for crying out loud.

And she wanted that for him, of course she did, what parent wouldn’t? Sure, her own mother was less than supportive and her dad was too sick to help but she swore that she’d be a better parent than either of them.Then again, her mother would’ve known what to say in this situation. Not that Joyce ever listened to any of her lectures. But she feels completely out of her element. Until a couple nights ago, the worst thing he ever did, that she really knew about, was hunt down a monster that he thought killed his brother… and get into a fight with that one kid but still, nothing like this.

At work, she had the brief impulse to write into the town advice column. In all her years of being a Hawkins resident she’s never once considered writing into Hattie’s Hollow. When she was in high school all the girls would beg the paper for answers about crushes but she never took much stock in it. She prided herself on being smart enough to tell when a boy liked her. She was tempted once, when given the option to skip town with a boy or stick around with Lonnie and be there for her dad. Eventually, she chickened out at the last minute rationalizing that everyone in town would know the anonymous letter was from her and she couldn’t hurt her dad like that or endure the shame.

Now, it seems perfectly reasonable to inquire as to why her teenager is becoming a total stranger before her eyes. Sure, she could understand if it was grief but other than Bob's funeral, Jonathan hasn't cried since. As far as she knows, the only time he wakes up in the middle of the night is when she and Will are screaming in their sleep. By all accounts he's unaffected and that makes sense considering he wasn't there. She mentally scolds herself, reminding herself it's not Jonathan's fault he doesn't share their trauma.

She drives the long way home again, still not quite ready to confront him. She passes the empty pool, the quiet cemetery, the house Hopper hasn’t lived in for over a year, the snowed-over Weathertop. She realizes she’s gone too far and if she doesn’t turn around she’ll end up leaving town. She quickly makes a u-turn but she drives around the fairgrounds and Forest Hills trying to avoid seeing the Creel House. She doesn’t need to be more upset than she already is.

Jonathan’s car sits out front, a final reminder of what she has to do. She collects herself one more time before turning the engine off and getting out of the car. Still, she walks slowly up the house, swearing to herself that it’s because of the slushy snow not because she’s avoiding it. But as she opens the front door, she wonders if it would really be so bad to delay their talk another day, just so she can determine her approach.

“How many times do I have to tell you? Stop. Calling” Joyce hears Jonathan demand, as she pulls off her jacket.

His voice is followed by the slamming of the phone. She rushes into the dining room to see what all the fuss is about and is surprised to see Nancy’s there too.

“Are you ok?” “Do you wanna go for a drive?” they ask each other before she can ask either of them what’s going on.

“Yea sure, can I have the keys?” Nancy begs, batting her lashes

“Yea if I wanted us to crash into a snowbank maybe” he jokes, a smile returning to his face.

The anger has completely dissipated from his voice and they don’t even seem to notice that she’s there at all.

“I’m a very responsible driver” she insists, putting on airs.

“You don’t even have your learners permit” he objects, smirking.

“Jonathan, who was that on the phone?” Joyce asks finally.

“No one important” he dismisses, breaking eye contact with Nancy.

“Wha-”

“We’re going out, do you need anything?” he asks

“No but-”

“Ok, don’t wait up” he smiles.

He grabs Nancy’s wrist, pulling her along as they quickly leave the room.

“Bye, Mrs. Byers” Nancy says as she passes.

Joyce is left standing there in utter confusion, and then a part of her wonders when he picked up the habit of driving to take his mind off things. She decides it’s not so strange. She just did the same thing after all. And she and Lonnie used to drive around Hawkins aimlessly for hours at his age.

Does he take the same routes? Do they all lead to the same place? Parked at Lover’s Lake, his hand precariously placed on the passengers knee? No, of course not he and Nancy are friends, that’s all. Besides, Jonathan’s a smart boy. He’s going to go to NYU, major in photography, and live the rest of his life in the city with someone who sees how caring, compassionate and sensitive he is. He’s going to get out of Hawkins while he still can. She’s sure of it. She shakes her head to free her from the memories. Maybe she should seek professional help after all.

Instead of airing out her dirty laundry to all of Hawkins she flips through an old issue of Parents Magazine she finds at work. Scanning the pages for something useful. But the only article about parenting teens is "top ten tips when your teen starts dating" and she rolls her eyes at the uselessness of it.

As she eats her ham sandwich, she wonders if it would be better to pry Will or Nancy for answers about Jonathan’s behavior. Will would be easier, but he might not know as much as Nancy. For a brief second, she worries that Nancy’s actually a bad influence. That she’s the one keeping him away and encouraging him to drink. But she realizes how silly that is. Barring their brief stint with monster hunting, she doubts the girl has ever done anything worse than being tardy. And even that she’s not too sure of, Nancy having a perfect attendance record wouldn’t shock her in the slightest.

When she comes back from lunch, Nancy is standing in the greeting card aisle like she accidentally summoned her by thinking too hard. She's on her way to ask if she needs anything but before she can, the girl drops what she’s holding like it burned her and races out of the store. And she spends the rest of her shift wondering what that was all about.

Jonathan’s car isn’t in the driveway when she gets home, but she can see the lights on in the living room. As she walks up she wonders if the boys just forgot or left it on for her. Either way, it isn’t great for the electrical bill. Although, she doesn’t remember paying recently but she’s sure she did. She must have, it’s well past the first of the month. She walks into the house pulling off her coat and boots. Jonathan’s door is tightly shut and neither of them are in the living room.

“Hello” she calls out.

“Hi mom” Will calls back from the kitchen.

She follows his voice and is surprised to find him alone at the table.

“Where's your brother?” she looks around, like he might appear at any moment.

“I don't know” Will shrugs

“What do you mean you don't know?” she questions as her heart begins to race.

“He went out a couple hours ago” he explains

“He left you alone for hours?” she panics

“Well no, not exactly Mike was here but then he had to go home so...”

“So you've just been here? All alone?”

“Yea but it’s fine, I did all my homework and I even reheated some pasta for dinner” Will explains proudly.

“Do you want some?” he offers

Joyce doesn’t really eat her dinner and spends the rest of her night trying not to panic. She doesn’t break eye contact with the phone on the wall as Will flips between V and The Dukes of Hazzard. Before she knows it, he’s moved on to Dallas and the phone hasn’t rung once. She gives in and calls The Hawk when Dallas ends but they have no idea what she’s talking about. And she doesn’t even know who else to call. In desperation, she calls the Wheelers but the line is busy. When Miami Vice ends she sends Will off to bed and begins pacing.

She shuts off the TV before she can hear the top story. She doesn’t want to know what the latest local horror is. Dread continues to rise within her, what if he’s out drinking? What if he was driving? What if he slid on the ice and now his car is wrapped around a tree or a pole or… She picks up the phone, she should just call Hopper she’s sure he can sort out this in no time.

Then again maybe it’s better not to know. If she doesn’t know, then… then he can’t be gone too. Ripped away from her too soon. She puts down the phone and sits back down on the couch. The hours go by painfully slowly and she finally hears his keys in the door around one in the morning. Jonathan doesn’t even notice her as he quietly takes off his shoes and makes his way to his room.

“Where the hell have you been?” she hisses, before he can get too far away she gets up from the sofa to meet him in the hallway.

“Jesus mom” he jumps.

“It’s after midnight Jonathan, where were you?” she demands.

“I-”

“And do not say working because I already called the Hawk and they said you don’t work there anymore?” she presses.

She watches the minor changes in his facial expressions and it feels like she’s watching him think of a lie.

“What on earth could have possibly been so important, Jonathan?” She fumes

“I…I'm sorry… I was with Nancy and I… I lost track of time it won’t-” he stammers out

“Nancy? You went out with Nancy? And you didn't even leave a note?” she snaps before he can finish.

“I didn't think…”

“What? That I'd care about where you were? I mean I almost called Hopper.” She shrieks. And she knows she sounds hysterical but it’s like she’s watching herself again, and she just can’t stop.

“I…”

“And you left Will alone. What if something happened to him? Did you think about that?” she accuses in a rage.

Jonathan's lip trembles and she regrets her words immediately.

“I need you to be more responsible.” she sighs.

His soft expression hardens instantly and he looks more like Lonnie’s boy again.

“You left me alone with him when I was his age” he argues, voice low.

“That was different” she contends.

“Yea that's for sure” he snarks.

“Excuse me?”

“You're so … you're so paranoid you've practically got him living in a bubble!” he criticizes

“I do not”

“Yes you do! You're isolating him from his friends and only-”

“I am keeping him safe” she defends.

“Keeping him hostage here is more like it” he retaliates.

“He is safe here” she yells.

“Right ok yea. God forbid anyone go out and live their lives.” he shouts back.

“Live your life, is that what this is? You can't just shirk work, or-or your responsibilities for some latent teenage rebellion Jonathan” she reprimands.

“Teenage...Teenage rebellion?” he snickers “Seriously? Is that what you think?”

“What am I supposed to think I mean I hardly know what's going on with you anymore and you're hiding things from me and then I went in your room and-”

“You went into my room?!” he exclaims.

“Yes and I'm glad I did.”

“What?” he blurts in disbelief.

“What are you doing with a bottle of vodka?” she furiously accuses.

“That's what this is about?” he questions back.

“It depends, were you out drinking tonight?” she interrogates, determined to get a straight answer out of him.

His face contorts in that way that makes him look even more like Lonnie and she tenses. She has a flashback of their last screaming match in the street and braces herself for what he’s about to say.

“Let me see if I've got this right, you think I'm irresponsible. And-and rebelling. But you have no idea where I was or where I am.. even though I've been telling you. You just-you just aren't listening to me and-and all of that makes it ok to go into my room without asking. I mean why would… why would you do that?!?” he recounts

“Because I'm your mother.” she justifies, but the words feel like poison in her mouth.

“Yea, right ok” he sniffles

It’s then that she realizes Jonathan is crying. She made him cry. Again. Her brain begs her to do something. To wipe his tears. Tell him that it’s all going to be alright. That she’s here. That she’ll listen if he just talks to her. But before she can do anything the door to Will’s room clicks open behind her.

“What's going on?” He asks, nervously scanning the scene.

“Hey buddy, I'm sorry you should-you should go back to bed” Jonathan chokes out.

“Is everything ok?” Will questions, softly.

“Yea it's fine” Jonathan reassures.

“Mom?”

“Go back to sleep, baby.” she interstructs.

“Oh-ok”

Will looks between them again before following through and returning to his room. Jonathan is still breathing heavily, tears stuck in his eyes. Absent-mindedly, she wonders when he learned how to stop crying so quickly. She crosses her arms waiting for him to say something or to apologize. But he ignores her, walking toward his door.

“You're grounded" she barks instead of saying goodnight.

“For how long?” he asks.

“I don't know you just are.” she answers.

“Fine.” he spits out, pushing the door open.

Her brain thinks of a hundred different things to say to fix this. But before she can get any of them out he turns around again, frown firmly set on his face.

“By the way, I had to quit work a month ago to take care of both of you, sorry for being so irresponsible.” he informs, before shutting the door.

She stands in the hallway for longer than she should. Trying to process everything that just happened and how it all went so bad so quickly. Eventually, she wanders into her bedroom to lie awake for the rest of the night.

The next day when Joyce leaves to open Melvald’s, she can hear him rustling around his room with The Clash playing softly. She raises her hand to knock but then thinks better of it. But as she’s leaving she swears she hears his door open.

She tries to keep her mind off their fight during her shift. Maybe she has been unfair, she’s never grounded him before. Then again, he’s never stayed out so late. She ping-pongs between guilt and justification until it’s time to return home again. To his credit, Jonathan’s car is parked exactly where it was when she left all those hours ago. But as she enters she can hear him talking to someone and she thinks she’s going to have to set rules for him being grounded, even if she doesn’t know what they are.

“I don’t know, I'm just...tired I guess” She overhears Jonathan whispering and she stops in her tracks in the living room.

“No no that’s not it, being with you is kinda the only time I feel-”

A part of her feels bad for eavesdropping, but the larger part of her that’s too curious convinces herself to listen in.

“I was going to say like me but yea I guess” he huffs.

“It’s … I don’t know, it's just complicated.” he admits, sadness laced in his voice.

“I’m…I’m tired of cleaning and getting the mail, and paying the bills, and having to know where Will is every minute of the day, and then there’s school. And I’m so tired of the stupid Hamburger Helper” he rants.

“I can’t stand it and she bought my least favorite flavor and-and she knows that. She knows that…I’m sorry, this is a lot you didn’t-”

“Right sorry”

“Sor-…anyways it just… it just feels like she doesn’t care at all anymore” he sniffles.

Her heart drops to her stomach, and she thinks she should sit down but she can’t get her legs to move. He thinks she doesn’t care? She spends all her time worrying about him… Well, more Will than him but still! And how was she supposed to know that he doesn’t….Suddenly, she’s back in the Big Buy with Karen chatting away. She thought it was Will but it was Jonathan. Jonathan hates cheesy Italian shells. Her throat feels tight and her face is burning. How could she have forgotten that?

“Oh hi mom, how was work?” Will greets, sauntering into the living room like nothing’s wrong.

“Hey sorry, I gotta go” she hears Jonathan rush out.

“I need to go lie down” she informs Will, not quite ready to talk with Jonathan.

She leaves him confused in the living room and she doesn’t get back out from under her covers for the rest of the day no matter how much Jonathan pleads through the door.

Somehow, the next time she’s at work she gets tasked with unpacking and shelving the extra liquor that Donald ordered for the holidays. Every bottle she marks reminds her of the one under Jonathan's bed. And his lack of an explanation for it. Is he drinking regularly? Does he have a problem? Is that why he's been so strange lately? So much more deceitful and distant and defensive…

Like Lonnie

She shakes off the thought and focuses on the task at hand.

It would be easy for her to take one of the bottles herself. Sneak off to the back room and forget all about her worries. She could float away leaving her cares and concerns about Jonathan and Will far behind. Drinking herself into a stupor until she forgets everything that hurts too much to remember.

No.

Joyce shelves the bottle and sniffles. She doesn't get to give up on her boys just because it's a little hard right now. They need her. And she needs them.

"Oh hi Mrs. Byers" Nancy calls and she jumps.

“Hi Nancy” she greets once she calms down.

Nancy blinks at her with the same doe-eyes as her mother and Joyce straightens up, preparing for another ramble. Joyce checks her watch, wondering what Nancy is doing out of school so early, only to discover it’s already two in the afternoon. Still, she’s curious about what could be so important to her that she didn’t just ask Karen to pick it up.

“Can I help you with something?” she offers.

“Uh yea actually do you know where the pantyhose are?” Nancy asks with a tilt of her head.

“Pantyhose?” she questions back.

Nancy gets a soft sentimental smile. Joyce has to admit that she’s never really spent enough time with Nancy to notice just how expressive the girl's face is, like every emotion is right there. No wonder it’s easier for Karen to parent, if Jonathan were half as expressive as her she’d have no problems.

"Yea, I tripped in the cemetery the other day and ripped mine pretty bad and my Nana's coming to our Christmas party so…" she explains.

“Ah” she nods.

“I'm surprised Jonathan didn’t tell you I mean I kinda took him down with me.” Nancy laughs softly.

She resists the urge to ask what in the world they were doing in the cemetery. Is it a new fad? Hanging out in graveyards with your friends?

“Oh well I’m sure he’s not too upset about it” Joyce reassures, even though she hasn’t spoken to Jonathan in days.

“Probably not I mean he was so sweet about the whole thing, making sure that I was alright, he was a lifesaver really. I’m sorry, what am I talking about, you know how he is duh” Nancy rambles and bites her lip to stop herself.

“Yea, Hosiery is in the healthy and beauty aisle” Joyce finally directs her.

“Right, thanks”

“Sure, anything else?” she asks and regrets it almost immediately.

“Uh yea actually there is one other thing but it’s not really work related.” Nancy hesitates, worming her lip again.

“What is it?” she presses.

“It’s just well… Do you know what he wants for Christmas?” Nancy asks excitedly.

“Christmas?” she asks. She hasn’t even thought of the holiday, it’s so far off.

“Yea I mean it’s in like two weeks and I haven’t gotten him anything and I feel bad but I want to get him something he’ll use you know? But also something nice. I mean he's been kinda stressed. I mean you know, you've all been through so much. And of course he’s being so Jonathan about the whole thing. So I was wondering if you had any ideas?” Nancy babbles and she struggles to keep up.

She's not quite sure what Nancy means but that. Jonathan being sensible about his gifts isn't a bad thing.

“I thought you got him that scarf?” she asks.

“Oh that was more because” she hesitates again, a pink creeping into her cheeks “Well we went Christmas shopping and we got caught in a snow flurry and he was being stubborn about being cold so let him borrow it but he hasn’t-”

“Joyce I could use some help at the register” Julie calls.

“Be right there" she calls back grateful for someone to interrupt Nancy's ramblings.

“Uh worst case he always needs more film” she answers with a little smile.

“Oh ok right yea” Nancy nods, but disappointment is all over her face and Joyce wonders what she did wrong.

“Joyce” Julie calls again.

“Coming” she answers.

Fifteen minutes later, Nancy finds her at the checkout but is much more quiet when she hands over two pairs of pantyhose, a roll of film and the peppermint bark that Jonathan loves. Still, Nancy hums along to whatever new Christmas song is playing so Joyce figures she can’t be too upset. To be polite, she tells her that the peppermint bark is Jonathan’s favorite and to her surprise Nancy nods and blushes again before picking up her bag and practically skipping out of the store. Joyce watches as Nancy gets into the passenger seat of Karen’s car and if she didn’t know any better she’d think Nancy actually does still have a crush on Jonathan but that’d be ridiculous plus she’s pretty sure she’s seeing someone else.

An hour or so later, when Joyce gets home that afternoon she pulls out a box of Christmas decorations. She’s not sure how time got so far away from her again. Especially, since Melvald’s is done up to nines. She doesn’t put up as many lights, simply because she can’t bring herself to do it. But she sets out the small collection of holiday decor they have and puts a string of lights in the front window just as the boys get home.

“Mom we’re home” Will greets, throwing the door open.

The breeze comes in with them and she shivers. Then she racks her brain to remember why they’re home so late before remembering Will had AV club or maybe science club?

“Whoa” Will exclaims happily when he walks into the living room.

“Yea I was thinking we could even get a tree this weekend” Joyce suggests.

“Will has the Snowball this weekend” Jonathan informs in lieu of a greeting.

“Well, during the day” she counters.

“You work during the day” he reminds her stubbornly.

“Well Friday we could.” she tries.

“Yea I guess” he shrugs halfheartedly

“Is there a different day? We could do Sunday or tomorrow or tonight even” she offers.

“It's fine, I don't care, I'm grounded anyways.” he grumbles.

“Jonathan-”

But before she can try to talk to him, he sulks off to his room, locks the door and she hears the muffled guitar of Joy Division.

“Is he really grounded?” Will asks finally, startling her.

“Yes, why?”

“I think he had plans with Nancy on Thursday. They were talking about it in the car" he answers.

“The car?”

“Yea, you know, on the way to school” he elaborates.

“The reason you've been leaving early is to pick up Nancy?” she asks, skeptically.

“And Mike and sometimes Lucas too” Will answers earnestly, picking up a felt mouse ornament from the box.

“Jonathan says it's too cold for them to walk so” he explains when she doesn’t respond right away.

“So-so he’s driving them to and from school?” she questions, trying to process why Jonathan wouldn’t just tell her.

“Yea. I thought you knew” he shrugs.

In that moment, she decides she’s fed up with what she does and doesn’t know. She marches to Jonathan’s room rapping on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“What’s stopping you?” He gripes from the other side of the door.

Joyce rubs her eyes and decides that means she can enter. She turns the knob and finds him sitting on the edge of bed. She quickly closes the door behind her. His room looks neater than the last time she came in. The papers have mysteriously disappeared, his nightstand is completely cleared, and there’s not even any clothes in the chair. She quietly takes a seat next to him on the bed At first, the silence is unbearable. Then he slowly hands her the bottle of Vodka from the other side of the bed. He places it in her lap and she has a staring contest with the label, waiting for him to explain himself.

“It was a gift from…” he hesitates.

From who? His ex-coworkers? Nancy? Lonnie?

“You know what it doesn’t even matter, you’re right I shouldn’t have it and I’m-I’m sorry” he apologizes.

She nods, a half-answer is better than nothing she supposes.

“And the other night?” she asks, cautiously.

“I'm sorry about that too”

"You can't scare me like that Jonathan" she harps, gently taking his arm.

"I didn't mean to" he apologizes so softly that in her mind he's suddenly six years old again crying because he accidentally broke her favorite mug while saving Will from running into the coffee table.

"It's just... it was Barbara's funeral…Nancy needed me" he explains quietly.

Joyce doesn’t think to ask why Barbara’s parents gave up hope. It’s too sad of a prospect. She takes a deep breath, remembering how fortunate she is. Both of her boys are here and breathing. Jonathan looks like he's on the verge of tears and she sighs. It's not his fault, he's not the reason she's increasingly paranoid whenever the boys are out of her sight. And she can't begrudge Nancy either, the poor girl's been through enough of course she would need a friend. She's stuck between still being mad he stayed out so late and in awe of what a supportive and kind person he is.

"Just … call next time" she instructs firmly.

“It won't happen again I promise.” Jonathan swears.

“Ok sweetie” she resolves.

Unexpectedly, he pulls her into a hug. She squeezes him tightly, determined not to let go until he’s ready.

“You know, we could go get a tree now” he suggests when he pulls away.

“I don’t know, Will might be busy” she jokes.

“I’m not” Will calls from the otherside of the door.

When they get back and Jonathan’s carrying in the tree, his sweater shifts in a way that she thinks she spies a purple mark just under his collar but she blinks hard in shock and the fabric hides it again. She shakes her head, trying to come to her senses. Before she can even think of what to ask, Will starts pulling Christmas lights out of a box as Jonathan puts the tree in the stand and she decides she doesn’t want to ruin this. Besides, maybe it’s just a bruise from his tumble with Nancy. Or maybe it was a trick of the light. Either way, she’s not going to be the one to sour the mood.

The boys get to work trimming the tree, animatedly taking suggestions for placements, and reminiscing when they find hand-made objects. They insist that she puts the star on the top and both help her keep her balance on the chair. And for a moment, her heart is so full she can’t imagine needing more than this. But then she goes to make the boys hot chocolate and Bob Newby: Superhero breaks the spell.

On Thursday, Melvald’s is mostly empty. She realizes about halfway through her shift, that it’s because the tree lighting ceremony is tonight. She briefly thinks about asking the boys if they want to go before thinking better of it. After lunch, she sends Julie home early mostly because they’re so slow but also so she can read her Parents Magazine without being judged. Before she can crack open the issue though Hopper comes in claiming he needs to buy cigarettes.

“How are you doing?” he greets hesitantly.

“Fine” she answers, content to keep up their usual pretenses.

“And Will?”

“Sleeping through the night and being annoyed at me for not letting him go off on his own.” she informs him.

“Mmm that all?” he asks, even though she knows he knows it’s not.

“Yep, we're surprisingly normal, well normal for us” she resolves.

“What about Jonathan?” he asks, startling her.

Hop doesn’t ask about Jonathan during their check-in rituals. Just Will. She wonders why he suddenly has an interest. She panics momentarily that he’s found himself in some kind of trouble with the law before reassuring herself that’d be ridiculous.

“He's…. fine, just spending a lot of time with Nancy Wheeler.” she confides.

“Oh I'll bet” he ribs with a little laugh and a big grin.

She looks at him confused, wondering what the hell is so funny.

“What don't give me that look, I just mean she's his first girlfriend right?” he asks and this time she laughs hollowly.

“No she's not.” she answers through a laugh.

“He's dated before?” he questions.

“No but she's not his girlfriend.” she scoffs.

“Oh Joyce c'mon” Hopper challenges with another small laugh.

“Stop it, she's not” she argues.

“No? He follows her around like a lost wet puppy” He claims.

“That doesn't mean-”

“And now they're spending all this time together just the two of them.” he continues.

“Well yea but-”

“And I bet he's going around with that dopey grin that you only get when you're a teenager in love” he guesses.

Sure, Jonathan’s smiling more and he’s more affectionate than normal. But that probably has more to do with them surviving last month and Will being well than anything.

“He's not in love” Joyce insists.

“You know, I could’ve sworn I saw his car parked at Lover’s Lake the other night” Hopper taunts with a smug grin.

“Yea well, you should get your vision checked” she counters dismissively.

Hop shakes his head and looks at her wide-eyed. She glares back, there’s no way in hell Jonathan started dating and didn’t tell her. Especially if it was Nancy Wheeler of all people.

“They’re not dating, they're just…friends, friends can carpool and get each other gifts and go to the movies.” she rants.

“Uh huh, like we used to go to the movies?” he smirks and she thinks about smacking him right then and there.

“No. Not like that. At all” she asserts sternly.

“So what was the name of the movie they saw?” he asks, catching her off guard again.

“I don't know but he'd tell me if she was his girlfriend” she argues and Hop tilts his head and purses his lips.

“He'd tell me” she repeats, more to convince herself than anything.

The idea eats at her for the rest of the day in between checking out what few customers she gets, she’s consumed with a worry that Jonathan, for whatever reason, doesn’t feel safe confiding in her. And it has to be at least partially true, what with the drinking, and work, and staying out late and possibly the weed. So, she does what any sensible mother would do. She shuts Melvald’s down early and marches over to the library before they close. She quietly makes her way over to the non-fiction section, mentally cursing the tree lighting for making the library so empty this time of day. She discreetly pulls Growing Up Free: Raising Your Child in the 80s off the shelf and shyly hands it to Marissa. Who looks down at the book, raises her eyebrows and then looks back up at Joyce before handing it off.

She’s sure by this time tomorrow all of Hawkins will be talking about how Joyce Byers needs a parenting book. But at least she’s trying to understand her kids which is more than she can say for the rest of this town. She just hopes this doesn’t get back to Karen because she really doesn’t know how she’ll explain herself when she asks about it at the Wheeler’s Christmas Party next week. She has a feeling that she would think Joyce is crazy for thinking something is going on with Jonathan and Nancy.

When she gets home, Will is watching TV but Jonathan is in the shower. She tries not to think too much of it as she sets down her things and makes her way to the kitchen. As she’s pulling out the ground beef, she remembers that Will said he and Nancy had plans for Thursday. So she guesses that makes his evening shower make sense. Friends can take a shower before hanging out with their friends. That’s normal.

She tries to drown out Hopper’s skeptical voice in her head. She decides on meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. In part because she doesn’t want Jonathan to have a meltdown over hamburger helper. By the time she slides the meatloaf into the oven, he’s out of the shower and wandering into the kitchen.

“Do you need some help?” Jonathan offers, pulling his yellow sweater over his head.

She flinches slightly, and wonders when he got the sweater back from Nancy.

“With dinner?” he continues, smiling like she’s just having a flighty moment and not trying to piece together a puzzle.

“Oh yea, yea, could you put the water on for the potatoes?” she asks.

“Sure”

He moves around the kitchen, pulling the big pot from the cupboard and taking it to the sink. He catches her watching him and she suddenly grabs a knife to peel the potatoes and rushes to sit at the table.

“What?” he asks with a laugh and narrowed eyes as she sits down.

“Nothing, just how are you?” she asks

“Fine? How are you mom?” he responds confused.

“Good”

“Good”

“How's school?” she questions, trying to sound casual and not like she’s digging for clues.

“Good”

Joyce resists the urge to sigh. Of course, he’s going to give her one word answers. What did she really expect?

“Have you thought about any colleges yet?” she presses.

“No, we're just focused on tests mostly,” he answers.

We.

“Oh?”

“Yea uh I think Nance said the ACT test in February” he explains, digging around the cabinet.

She nearly slices her thumb instead of the potato when he casually uses her nickname. In all the years she's known Nancy, the only people she's heard shorten her name are Karen and Mike. There's a familiarity to the diminutive. An intimacy. Yet it rolled off Jonathan's tongue like it was nothing.

“Have you seen the salt?” he asks just as casually.

“Well then it’s a good thing you quit work” she laughs nervously.

He turns around and looks at her even more confused than before.

“Are you-”

“So you can study and it's on the counter next to the sink.” She interrupts and directs him with the knife.

“Yea uh we're thinking about looking for internships next summer anyways” he imparts and she tries to hide her surprise at how open he’s being for once.

There's the we again.

“Hmmm but no schools specifically?” she prods.

“No I mean… I don't know there's this one called Emerson…. but it's expensive and in Boston so” he hesitates.

“Look at me” she demands seriously and he complies forcing himself to look her in the eye, “If it's really what you want we'll make it work” she asserts.

“I uh…I just…I'm focusing on the tests right now.” he mumbles, shying away again.

“Ok honey” she nods.

She can see him so clearly amidst the flurries of snow and cobblestone that it makes her heart ache like he's already left. Then, Nancy’s small frame unexpectedly intrudes on her college vision. Jonathan’s got his arm wrapped around her shoulders and she’s snuggled into his side.

“What was the name of the movie you saw by the way?” she asks suddenly.

“Hmm?”

“The other night? With Nancy?”

“Oh uh Nightmare on Elm Street” he answers, avoiding her eyes.

“Really?” she doubts.

“Yea it wasn't half bad” he maintains.

“Mmmm, I didn't realize Nancy likes scary movies.” she notes.

“Yea uh she thinks they're funny” he smiles softly with a hazy look in his eyes that sends a chill down her spine.

“Honey, could you light a fire? It’s cold in here” she requests.

“Yea sure mom” he nods and wanders back out to the living room.

An hour or so later, the three of them are sharing an exceptionally quiet dinner. She considers turning the radio on, because even cheesy Christmas carols would be better than silence. The boys eat like they’re starving, surprising her.

“Can I go out tonight? Or am I still grounded?” Jonathan asks suddenly while he pushes his peas around.

He doesn’t like peas by themselves; she can’t believe she forgot that.

“Where?” she asks.

“Nancy just wanted to do something, that's all” he answers vaguely.

Joyce hesitates just long enough to make him think that she’s trying to decide or not. She’d rather unground him than have him sneak out but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Ok but I want you home early. It's a school night” she instructs.

“We're not even doing anything tomorrow” he argues, with a small laugh.

She braces herself, she needs to be gentle but firm, to commit to her time and give him a reason why. At least, according to Parents magazine. Admittedly, the article was advice for the terrible twos but how different are toddlers from teenagers anyway?

“Nine-thirty. I don't want you to be late to school. You can stay out until eleven over break” she negotiates.

“Fine” he grumbles, before getting up to clear his plate.

That night, when she's up too late reading she swears she hears the dull thud of his window opening. But that’s impossible, it’s snowing and he wouldn’t open his window when it’s this cold. For a brief moment, she’s overwhelmed with the fear that whatever thing had Will has Jonathan now, but the moment passes and she lets out her breath. The house is quiet and she almost convinces herself that she’s hearing things. Still, with everything they’ve been through would it be that crazy just to check?

She slides out from under her quilt, wincing when her feet hit the cold floor. She tiptoes over to Will’s room first, but he’s tucked into his blanket snug as a bug. A brief relief washes over her and she makes way down the hallway. There's a little bit of light creeping out from his door frame she leans in and listens. The soft notes of whatever music he has on to fall asleep make her come to her senses. No one is sneaking into Jonathan’s room to hurt him in the middle of the night in Hawkins.

She takes herself back to bed, turns off her light and sinks into her blankets. From the other side of the wall she swears she hears a shushing noise but she ignores it and turns over convincing herself it's just the wind.

When she walks into the kitchen in the morning and he's bustling about, she decides it really was all her imagination. She's been fueled by Hopper's suggestions there's no way Jonathan even has a crush on Nancy. But then he starts humming Wouldn't It Be Nice to himself.

Admittedly, there's a lot she doesn't know about her older son but she knows enough to know that The Beach Boys are an extreme outlier in his music taste. It's nearly as off-putting as his brief obsession with Dirty Work over the summer but even that was on a mix with the Elvis Costello guy and The Velvet Underground.

"What happy times together we've been spending " he sings softly flipping a pancake and she nearly chokes on her coffee.

He’s got that hazy look in his eyes again, the same one from last night and she’s about to demand to know if he’s in love with Nancy Wheeler.

“Pancakes!?!” Will shouts excitedly, before she can ask anything.

“Yea, I figured we could celebrate getting out early” Jonathan grins.

“What?” she asks.

“The semester is over, we have a short day” Jonathan answers.

“A short day?”

“Yea, school’s out early” Will explains.

“You forgot?” Jonathan asks

“No… no I just work late tonight so you two are on your own for dinner is all” she informs

She swears Jonathan perks up at the thought.

“Well then can I spend the night at Mike's instead?” Will pleads

“Uh I don't know sweetie you've got the Snowball tomorrow” she hesitates, still trying to observe Jonathan in the kitchen.

“Yea but Jonathan can pick me up, right Jonathan?” Will asks.

“Uh yea, that's not a problem with me” Jonathan replies.

“I don't…”

“Oh c'mon Mom please” he begs.

“Alright, fine, fine.”

“You’re the best” Will appreciates, as Joanthan piles pancakes onto his plate and she nods, still flustered.

“You’ll be alright on your own?” she asks Jonathan.

“Yea, of course” he reassures.

That night when she gets home she's surprised by Jonathan's car in the driveway. She assumed he would’ve been out with the way he perked up at breakfast. But it might be nice to get a chance to talk to him, and maybe ask about Nancy this time. If she has the courage. The house is dark when she gets in, save for the lights from the window and the tree and she guesses that he’s in his room.

She’s not really paying attention when she flicks on the light illuminating the living room and revealing Jonathan and Nancy on the sofa. Specifically, Nancy in Jonathan's lap, Jonathan with his hand up the front of Nancy's bunched up sweater and both of them kissing each other so deeply it's a wonder they can breathe.

In her state of shock, the first thing she thinks about is how Nancy used to be so small that she had to help Karen hem all her pants, skirts and tutus, the second is about how in seventh grade Jonathan came home with a handmade Valentine from Nancy who had supposedly forgotten to include him in the cards for their classmates, and the third thought is about how this is the quietest she’s heard Nancy in weeks.

Reality kicks in and Joyce turns around shutting her eyes for good measure. Nancy, to her credit, must realize what's happening a lot quicker than Jonathan judging by the cacophonic sounds coming from the couch.

"Oh my God" Nancy exclaims in her high sweet voice.

"Shit" Jonathan mumbles.

"I'm not looking" she promises.

She swears she heard Jonathan mumble kill me and she thinks they'll have to have a talk about jokes like those not being appropriate.

“Mom you can uh turn around” he informs finally.

Joyce hesitates, takes a breath and turns around to face them. Nancy’s fuzzy pink sweater is still a bit rumpled at the edge and Joyce realizes there’s a matching ribbon in her hair, the collar on Jonathan’s flannel looks like it’s been strangled, and they’re both sitting on their hands looking more guilty then when she found them at the police station. She wishes this was as simple as when she found them at the police station.

“Well this is uh unexpected but I'm happy for you both really but-”

You didn't tell her" Nancy accuses, freeing her hand to throw it around.

“What no I did I swear” Jonathan promises.

"Jonathan-" she starts to scold him for lying, he really should know better.

"Mom, I told you after Thanksgiving, remember?" He cuts her off.

She tries to rewind her memory; Thanksgiving, Hopper came by with a turkey, Jonathan said the store was out of cranberry sauce, and she and Will watched the parade. The next day the boys went sledding and Jonathan came back early to pick up something, Nancy was waiting in the car and oh oh .

“You said you were going out with Nancy” she recalls.

“See” Jonathan comments looking at Nancy.

“So this whole time you've been…” Joyce hesitates, feeling like a fool.

“Going out” he finishes.

“With Nancy” she notes.

“Right”

“What did you think I meant?” he asks.

“That you were going out like out. Like out of the house or…”

Nancy curls her lips like she's stifling a laugh and smiles at Jonathan who in turn gives her a glare and a sigh.

“We're together” he informs picking up Nancy’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

“Mmmm I can see that” Joyce nods.

“Sorry about the confusion and the other thing” Nancy apologizes.

“I need… I need to take a drive.” she announces.

“What!?” They chorus.

Before they can change her mind she’s back out the door. She thinks she hears Jonathan calling after her but she rushes to her car anyway. She throws herself into the seat, turning the ignition over and rolling the window down so the cold night air can help her think. She peels out of the driveway with the recklessness of a far less experienced driver. For the first time in a month she feels like she’s really seeing Hawkins. She passes the abandoned remains of Benny Goodman’s dreams, the once-beautiful now haunted Creel House, the desolate woods that hide a stolen child. Joyce twists and turns around the town until she finds herself at the sign beckoning her to come back soon. She idles the car, slumps her forehead to the wheel and cries.

She’s never felt so stupid in her entire life. How could she have possibly missed so many signs? Friends don’t share clothes, or talk to each other like that, or leave love bites on each other's necks, or plan their futures around each other. And now she has to go home and come up with something to say that’s reassuring. Because she can’t go past the sign, there’s no Los Angeles or New York or Maine for her. There’s nowhere to call home outside of Hawkins.

Joyce takes one more deep breath and straightens, turning on the radio. She circles back through town as Judy Garland croons and her tears are quieter now. She finally brings herself to drive past the lab and is shocked to see the gate closed shut with the building as dark as it was that night. She’s not sure how it finally got shut down but she feels a relief that she hasn’t felt in months.

She takes another moment before entering the house. She’s surprised to hear the two of them chatting away in the kitchen. It’s pretty late and Jonathan should really get Nancy home before Karen calls.

“Maybe I should call Hopper,” Jonathan frets from the kitchen.

“Jonathan, I really don’t think-”

“No, you’re right I’ll just go out and look myself” he decides.

“Honey, I’m not so sure-”

“No, no it’s fine you stay here in case she comes back and I’ll go” he insists.

“Would you listen to me?” Nancy demands.

Joyce stalls in the living room, trying to build herself up again to talk to them.

“Sorry it’s just I don’t… I don’t know what to do.” he confesses and she can hear the fear in his voice.

“Which is why we should both stay here. You’re worrying too much to think straight” Nancy assures softly, and she can hear what sounds like a kiss.

“She literally saw me groping you” Jonathan groans.

“Yea, not our finest hour but I’m sure she’ll be back I mean she said…”

“What’s wrong?” he worries.

“Nothing just…” Nancy hesitates “She said she’s happy for us but.”

“What?” he asks.

“She said but” Nancy answers.

“I’m sure it’s just because she was, you know, shocked” he justifies in a whisper.

Shocked doesn't begin to cover it.

“What if she doesn’t like me?” Nancy asks worriedly and her heart aches.

“Nancy c’mon she likes you” Jonathan comforts.

“Yea as Mike’s older sister not as your girlfriend” Nancy argues.

“Why wouldn’t she like you?” he asks.

“I stabbed your brother.” she grumbles.

“I thought we talked about that.”

She makes a mental note to tell Nancy that as far as she’s concerned she saved Will’s life and hers for that matter.

“Yea but your mom and I haven’t and she doesn’t call me sweetheart anymore” Nancy stresses.

“What?”

“You know, growing up it was always Nancy, sweetheart and now it’s just Nancy and don’t look at me like that”

“Sorry, look I'm sure it's fine she's just a little surprised you know but she'll come around” he promises.

And he’s right, it was a surprise but she’s sure she’ll… well she’s happy as long as he’s happy.

“Besides, I like you” he confides sweetly.

“Not the point” she dismisses.

“I can call you sweetheart if you really want” he offers.

“Jonathan” she admonishes.

“Yes sweetheart?” he responds in a low voice.

When they come into view, she can tell they’re having some kind of a staring contest. Completely absorbed in one another again, and she wonders again how the hell she didn’t notice their mutual attraction. Joyce clears her throat loud enough to announce herself but quiet enough to not startle them.

“Mom” Jonathan greets, quickly turning to face her.

“Hi”

“How was your drive?” he asks.

“Fine, tiring. I’m going to bed, make sure to get Nancy home soon.” she answers.

“Uh yea, yea I will” he nods, exchanging a look with Nancy.

“Goodnight sweetie” she smiles.

“Good..goodnight” Jonathan bids, confused.

Even if Joyce wanted to sleep, she can hear them whispering through the wall and it keeps her up most of the night sick with worry.She tosses and turns around her guilt and embarrassment. At one in the morning, it clicks that Nancy’s his first girlfriend, but he’s not Nancy’s first boyfriend. An hour later, fear spreads when she remembers how much of his future he’s starting to build around her. Close to the witching hour, an ugly jealousy sweeps through her resentful that her teen is in love, so soon after she buried her beau. Somewhere around four in the morning she realizes that, in part, is why Jonathan doesn’t talk about Nancy more, because he didn’t want to hurt her and somehow that hurts more.

They're together and Nancy thinks she doesn't like her and that's not exactly the truth but they just seem so attached. It doesn't seem healthy, she would hate for him to make the same mistakes she did because he thinks he’s in love. She thought she was in love once too and look where that got her. She mentally curses herself. It got her her boys and that’s all that matters.

As the night bleeds into the day, she's left with more questions than answers. How long had they been together? He waited until after Thanksgiving to tell her but Nancy was at Bob's funeral and she dropped off that casserole and if Joyce strains hard enough she thinks she remembers Jonathan holding onto her for dear life the night they saved Will.

So since then at least. A month and some change and she just walked around clueless until…

And oh God, Hopper said he saw them out by the lake and what if they weren't being safe? She envisions Nancy nine months pregnant and it doesn't matter if Emerson is really what Jonathan wants because any version of the better life she wants for him is gone in the blink of an eye.

In a sleep-deprived panic, she beelines for the health and beauty section of the store and tries to pick out a box of contraceptives that reads "I'm fine with you having sex but don't be stupid".

Maybe this is too weird. Then again, she has no desire to be a grandmother. But does Jonathan even know how to use a condom? Is she going to have to teach him? What If he does, and there’s a brand he likes and she picks the wrong one? What if he has some latex allergy she doesn’t know about? What if Nancy has a latex allergy? What if it’s all a moot point and they don’t end up using them? What if they’re not even having sex yet? She’s hit with another flashback from the night before and decides that’s a ridiculous assumption. Then she can’t help but wonder how long they’ve been having sex and why he didn’t tell her. Then she remembers he’s seventeen and Karen was right and they really are secretive at this age. And while she’s privy to alternate dimension monsters and government conspiracies, his relationship with his girlfriend is apparently off limits.

Joyce sighs heavily and rubs her eyes. Her little boy has a girlfriend. She supposes that means he’s not so little anymore. She wasn’t prepared for this. She thought, or maybe hoped that Jonathan would hold off on dating a little longer and she’d have time to-

“Thought he wasn’t dating her” Hopper teases breaking her thoughts.

“Yea yea yea” she waves.

He huffs out a chuckle and comes in closer.

“Oh man, I do not envy you” he grins.

“I have no idea what I’m doing” she admits.

“Me neither” He laughs picking up concealer “I mean what does this even do”

“I’m serious”

“So am I”

She glares at him, after her night of no sleep she’s not in the mood for his antics.

“Joyce… your son and his girlfriend successfully exposed a secret government facility in the course of a weekend, I really don’t think you need to worry about them using condoms” Hop suggests

“They what?” she asks, eyes-wide.

“He didn’t tell you?” he asks.

“That’s the problem” She snaps “He doesn't tell me anything anymore. I mean sure he said they were going out but he never calls her his girlfriend or says that he’s going on a date. I mean he never even told me he had a crush on her. And how am I really supposed to talk to him when he’s barely home anymore? And he hates Hamburger Helper, oh and all of sudden he wants to go to Boston when he’s wanted to go to NYU since he was six. How am I supposed to believe Nancy’s not pushing that? They’re so enmeshed I mean it constantly with each other. It’s… codependent is what it is and the only reason I found out is because she had her tongue down his throat!”

Hopper doesn’t say anything when she finishes rambling, just stares at her with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“What?” she demands.

“Nothing” he laughs.

“Oh C’mon”

“Nope I’m just gonna” he gestures to the make-up section.

“Just say it” she requests.

“You tell your mom everything at that age?” he asks.

“No but-”

“He’s seventeen, they’re in the honeymoon phase, it'll wear off eventually.” he consoles.

“Well yea but-”

“But what?”

“What if she breaks his heart?” she worries.

“Well then he joins the ranks of every other schmuck that got his heart broken by his first girlfriend.” he offers sympathetically.

For the tiniest second, she wonders if that’s how Hopper remembers what happened to them. Not that they were ever really a ‘them’ to begin with, just a few hasty kisses, the occasional movie, and trip in the back of the Oldsmobile. It was never that serious. He wanted out of this town and she couldn’t give him that. She thought that he understood that, but maybe she’s not the only one with regrets.

Then she shakes her head, worms her lip and sighs, her heart prematurely aching for her boy. Jonathan’s too sensitive for things like dating, heartbreak and thirty year old regrets.

“There’s worse things that could happen” Hopper claims.

Like watching your boyfriend get eaten by a demogorgon, having to bury him and then being so despondent you don’t even know what’s going on with your kids.

“Besides, according to Flo, Nancy’s crazy about him.” he informs, picking up eyeshadow.

“How does your receptionist know more about my son’s love life than me?” she questions.

“Beats me, she's just got her finger on the pulse I guess” he mumbles.

“You guess…oh God, everyone knew but me didn't they?” she sighs

“He gave her his jacket at the town tree lighting on Thursday.” he gossips.

“He went to the town tree lighting!?” she exclaims.

“Yup, seemed pretty cozy too” he laughs.

She sighs again and rubs her face. She should have the sex talk sooner than later. She peeks through her fingers to see Hop smirking while trying to decide between Dippity-Do and Farah Fawcett Hairspray.

“Why do you need hair gel?” she asks.

“It's a long story, could use your help actually if you don't mind.” he answers hopefully.

By the time she gets home from her adventure, both of the boys are frantically pacing around the house in various states of dress. Will’s got his dress pants on but just a white undershirt. And judging by Jonathan’s wet hair he just got out of the shower and changed into his boxers and undershirt. They’re digging around the laundry in the living room and she wonders which one of them lost something.

“Mom, thank God, Jonathan can’t find my shirt” Will greets, whirling around.

“You need to keep better track of your things” Jonathan hisses and Will pouts in return.

“It’s on the chair in my room I fixed the button the other night” Joyce tells him.

“Thanks mom” Will says, before setting off to find his shirt.

Jonathan looks like he’s trying to find something to say but instead she reaches into her bag and pulls out shaving cream and razors to hand off to him.

“Thanks” he nods and then runs off to the bathroom.

She laughs in spite of herself. The frenzy of it all has her feeling more normal than she has in weeks. Lighter than she imagined feeling at work. And then the phone rings. She takes a deep breath through the first ring, calming herself down. On the second ring, she figures it’s Hopper needing something else. Or maybe Nancy checking in, so she picks it up.

“Byers residence” she greets.

“Babe finally, Jonathan’s been-”

But she never finds out what Jonathan’s been doing because she hangs up on Lonnie before she can second guess herself. The phone rings again and she steels herself to tell him to fuck off.

Jonathan rushes into the room before she can, face covered in shaving cream, razor in hand. He looks at her wide-eyed as the phone rings on the wall and she softens.

“How long has your dad been calling?” she asks gently.

“I don't… probably a month or so, it got worse after … after the news about Barb” he whispers, to the floor.

“The news?” She asks, unsure of the last time she watched it or glanced at The Hawkins Post.

“Yea she was exposed to toxic chemicals from the lab” he quotes.

“Hmm and your dad heard that and-”

“Probably figured he could get money or something” he sniffles.

“Were you going to tell me?” she asks, knowing the answer.

He shakes his head and she sighs.

“It's not your job to protect me from him you know” she reminds him.

“You and Will have been through enough” he counters.

“Yea but so have you” she sighs.

“I’m fine” he insists.

Joyce looks at him in his undershirt, with his wet hair and foam over his face and forces herself not to laugh. She takes a deep breath instead, remembering how grown she felt at his age. Ready to leave Hawkins and conquer the world, and she didn’t even fight monsters.

“I think… maybe you should let me worry about things.” she determines.

“Mom” he protests.

“What with clubs and college and your girlfriend. Your plate seems pretty full already” she notes teasingly.

“I can-”

“I know you can, but I want you to worry about being seventeen” she advises.

She watches him watch her. And she’s once again envying Karen’s expressive children.

“Ok” he nods finally.

“Ok” she repeats.

“Mom, you still need to teach me how to dance” Will complains, racing into the room.

“Let me get the camera” Jonathan grins.

When he returns, finally dressed, she turns on the radio and does her best to dance with Will around the living room as he films. He doesn’t learn quite as fast as Jonathan did a couple years back, but they have fun with it all the same. Will finally decides that he’s had enough of Jonathan’s home movies and announces that he’s going pee and then they’re leaving. As he wanders off to the bathroom, that new song Last Christmas replaces Jingle Bell Rock and Joanthan laughs to himself.

“What’s so funny?” she asks.

“Nothing, Nancy just likes this song that’s all” he smiles.

“She likes New Order too, right?” She follows up.

“Yea” he answers with a confused look “but uh not as much as Cyndi Lauper or Blondie”

“Ah” she nods.

He hums a couple of bars to himself while they wait for Will and fidgets with his hair nervously.

“Where’s your tie?” she asks, noticing that his collar is open.

“I’m not wearing one” he answers.

“Oh c'mon, don't you want to look nice?”

“I look plenty nice” he counters, stubbornly.

“Jonathan” she chides.

“Mom C’mon it’s just a middle school dance” he groans.

“For Nancy?” she appeals.

“Mom seriously I don’t-”

“If I have to wear one, so do you” Will argues.

“I don’t… I don’t know how to-” Jonathan hesitantly tries to admit.

“Just go grab your tie” she instructs.

He shuffles off to his room, reappearing quickly with a thin black tie in his hands. She takes it from him and wraps it underneath his collar. Silently thankful that she practiced on Will before teaching Jonathan.

“Ok so the skinny end goes up here, then it crosses to make an x, then the bunny goes through the hole” she teaches.

“I thought that was for shoelaces” he interrupts.

“It works here too, now pay attention you’ll need to know this for the Wheeler’s party next week” she reminds him and he nods solemnly.

“So then we go to the side, bunny goes behind the hole and over the shoulder, back into the hole, across again but you want to put your finger in the knot” she informs.

“How do you know this?” he wonders aloud.

“I did costuming for the drama department in high school” she answers with a fond smile.

“Really?”

“Yes, now pay attention, bunny goes out of the hole and you flip to show the face, then the big end under your finger and then pull, pull, slide pull. Tighten and-”

“Ow”

“It should be a little too tight” she advises, just the same way her dad told her a lifetime ago.

“Why? What if I suffocate” he whines with an overdramatic pout.

“You won’t suffocate” she reassures.

“There you go, look so handsome” she finishes, patting the knot lovingly.

“Mom” he groans.

“I mean, I don’t think you’ve gone to a school dance since your own Snowball” she teases.

“Well you know what they say” he shrugs.

Joyce raises a brow.

“Love makes you crazy” he laughs.

“You love her?”

“Yea I do” he affirms, with a confidence she didn’t know he had.

“Can you repeat that into the camera?” Will jokes.

Jonathan looks absolutely mortified and she knows she shouldn’t but for the first time in a long time she laughs like she means it. He looks at her like she’s completely lost it, and maybe she has but for the first time in a long time she feels light. Hopeful even.

For some reason, Will refuses to go with Jonathan while he picks up Nancy so Joyce drives him solo. And it’s nice, she’s thinking maybe she can ask Mr.Clarke if they need any extra volunteers. She’s happy to help, plus she can stick close by and-

“Mom about tonight,could you maybe just drop me off? I just … I need some space you know and I think-I think Jonathan does too” Will asks suddenly, taking her by surprise.

“Also I don't want to third wheel them anymore I mean they kiss all the time I don't even know how they breathe it's so gross” he laments.

She nods sympathetically to let him know that she hears him and respects his needs. A crucial step, if her parenting book is to be believed.

“Well, thank you for telling me I’m sure that wasn’t easy” she acknowledges.

“Yea… I mean he’s so lame now. Last week he was listening to your old people music. Can you believe that?” He complains.

“But he’s happy?” she asks.

“Of course he’s happy. I mean have you seen them?!” he snides.

“Yea” she huffs, trying not to think about last night again.

True to her word, she drops Will off out front and watches him rush to Mike so they can enter together. She gives them both a quick wave and immediately finds a space in the lot to park. She stays in the car for a while, people watching mostly. She must not catch Jonathan and Nancy in time. In a brief moment of paranoia she gets out of the car to look around and see where he parked. It only takes her opening and closing the door to realize how crazy she’s being.

But that’s when Hopper finds her, they exchange a couple jokes and a cigarette and he holds her. And it’s nice, steady, comforting. A feeling long buried makes an attempt to crawl out of her but the cold wind pushes it back down again. She swallows hard and sighs, catching his attention.

“How’s the kid?” Hopper asks gently.

“He’s getting older and I don’t know what to do about it” she sniffles, toeing the mushy snow in the lot.

“Nothing to do” he huffs

She looks up at him, trying to figure out what he means by that.

“Growing up, changing, that’s part of life you know?” he advises softly.

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it” she argues.

“Hey it’ll get easier” he assures her again.

“I’ll hold you to that” she grumbles.

“I look forward to it” he grins and she feels the smallest hint of a spark flare up in her chest again, before guilt snuffs it out.

Bob’s death is too fresh to rekindle anything with Hop, at least for now. But maybe, eventually, soon, they can make something new, something better out of the broken pieces. Her stomach flutters at the thought.

Before she knows it, it’s time to “pick up” Will. She and Hopper make their way to the gym, and she tries not to think about the last time she was in there.

“What are you doing for New Years?” Hopper asks hesitantly. Holding the door open for her.

“Hmm?”

“New Years, thought you could come over, we could watch the ball drop or something” he proposes.

“All of us in that tiny cabin? No, no you can both come to my house” Joyce decides without really thinking about it.

Normally, she spends New Year’s with Karen while the boys play in the basement. But maybe a change will do her some good. She can invite Nancy too if she and Jonathan don’t already have plans. And she supposes Mike, Dustin and Lucas can tag along too. They can all make the best of their new chapter. She’s not sure when her tiny family got so big, but for once she’s looking forward to a loud active house. Hopper grins and nods as they make their way to Will and his friends. He quickly sneaks El away before he can get asked too many questions with a mumbled goodnight.

“Were you waiting outside?” Will complains.

“No uh no of course not” Joyce lies.

She's distracted by Jonathan and Nancy Laughing and dancing to Let’s Stay Together, and she wonders if they requested it or the DJ thinks it’s acceptable for middle schoolers. She wonders if this is what Will meant by “old people music”. Jonathan's using the same moves she taught Will just a few hours ago, he spins Nancy out and holds her even closer when she returns.Then he makes a show out of dipping her and they both are reduced to giggles. Even from here she can see Nancy’s eyes sparkling, looking at Jonathan like he hung the moon. They look at each other so tenderly that Joyce wonders how it took her this long to piece it together when they're obviously so lovestruck with another.

"Show off" Dustin grumbles.

The music ends and Jonathan kisses Nancy’s hand before separating from her. He smiles softly at her, she turns about as pink as her dress and Joyce suddenly feels very guilty for observing such an intimate moment between them.

“Disgusting” Mike sneers.

“See what I mean mom they’re gross” Will asserts.

“I think it’s romantic” the red haired girl whose name Joyce doesn’t remember croons.

“Yea totally” Lucas agrees and Joyce tilts her head in surprise.

“Traitor” Will hisses.

“C’mon Will, let’s get going” she insists before she has to watch them argue anymore.

Will says his goodbyes and the two of them head home through a light dusting of snow. They catch A Charlie Brown Christmas on TV and she finally puts the Jiffy Pop to good use. She makes him her signature hot chocolate and mentally reminds herself to start Christmas shopping soon, stressing over what in the world she’s going to get Nancy and then feeling incredibly embarrassed that she advised buying film for Jonathan. Really, how did she not notice earlier? Will saunters off to bed after finishing his cocoa and she waits up another hour or so before Jonathan walks in through the door.

“Oh hey what are you still doing up?” he greets.

Joyce gestures to him and he flushes.

“Right sorry we-”

“You don’t need to apologize” she informs him with a smile.

“I don’t?” he asks unsure.

“No” she laughs.

“Ok well good night mom”

“Sweetie?” she calls before he can sneak into his room.

“Yea”

“I'm sorry”

Jonathan knits his brows together and looks at her like he's trying to anticipate where she's going without asking. Then he enters the living room and takes a seat next to her on the couch, waiting for her to find the right words.

“I've been… I’ve been checked out lately and I'm…I'm sorry about that” she continues.

“It's fine” he mumbles, twisting his hands together.

“It is not fine, I didn't even know you had a girlfriend,” she laments.

“Neither did I at first if it makes you feel better.” he jokes.

“You can talk more about her, you know” she encourages.

“I really don't think I can. I mean I don’t even… she's just so… and her eyes… and she's brilliant…and when she smiles…and…”

“Aww my baby's in love” she gushes.

“Goodnight mom” he groans quickly getting back up from the sofa.

“Goodnight” she bids.

He’s almost out of the room before she remembers.

“Jonathan, one last thing”

“Yea?”

“No more sleepovers on school nights” she imposes.

She reads Jonathan’s face clearly as he switches between guilt, disbelief and confusion in the span of a few minutes.

“How?” he hesitates.

“I'm your mother, I know everything” she asserts.

“Yea right” he scoffs with a grin.