Chapter Text
SCENE 1 – AT THE “INN” –
[Opening shot of Stede's face – he looks distraught and deadly serious. His head is surrounded by ominously billowing smoke. He mops his brow, which is sweaty and smudged with soot. There is blood on his hand. Dramatic music plays, as Stede closes his eyes in despair, and whispers “this isn't how it was meant to go… ”.]
[The camera pulls out, to reveal that this is not actually the aftermath of a devastating battle, but merely Stede's failed attempt at making dinner. He is holding a tray of extremely burnt bread rolls, with smoke wafting up from them. Nearby, a cutting board sits with a couple of onions and an accidentally bloodied kitchen knife. Stede wraps his cut hand in a cloth and mutters “… oh dear… ”. He starts to pick the bread rolls apart, optimistically searching for any edible bits. Inevitably, he then burns his other hand on the scorched rolls. Looking up as he sucks his burnt fingers and whimpers in frustration, Stede glances out of the window and sees Ed sitting dejectedly beside Izzy's grave. He abandons his cooking, and goes outside.]
Stede [tentatively] - “Edward… hey, are you holding up alright, my love?”
Ed - “Hmm? Oh. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. Yep, I'm fine. Just, uh. Well, earlier, I was pretending that none of this was really happening, and… guess I've just realised that it actually is… ”
Stede - “Um. Anything I can do? Er. Apart from making us some dinner, I mean. Turns out, I can't really do that. Bit of a disaster in there.”
Ed - “That why you smell of burnt bread?”
Stede - “Yeah… sorry… I thought I was following the instructions Roach gave me, but I must have, uh, not followed them…”
Ed - “It's fine. Not hungry anyway.”
Stede - “Ed, do you want to… talk about it?”
Ed [sadly] - “Ha. Talk it through? That's what Izzy suggested too, shortly before I went and fucking shot him. What the fuck, who does that to their oldest friend?! And now he's dead. They fuckin killed him! I can't believe they got the little fucker, always thought he'd outlast us all.”
Stede - “I'm so sorry, Ed. He was a good man. If a little, er, prickly at times.”
Ed - “He deserved a better end than this.”
Stede - “He did.”
Ed - “Deserved better than I did to him as well.”
Stede - “That was my fault, Ed, not yours. And his own too, to some extent. We both pushed you into that state where you were… unstable.”
Ed [sounding tired] - “Oh, fuck off, Stede. I'm a fully formed adult, you know? Got my own brain and everything. Even if it gets a bit fucked up sometimes. I'm still fucking mad at you for what you did to me. Not gonna blame you for what I did to Izzy though. Likewise for him – still fucking mad at him, but also fucking mad at myself. We all fucked up. All of us!”
Stede - “I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn your forgiveness, my love. I know how much I hurt you. If it is ever possible to make amends for that, I will do my utmost.”
Ed - “We're gonna be ok. I mean, you were a fucking idiot. You were absolutely massively shitty. And I'm still really pissed off with you, sometimes. But also, I love you.”
Stede - “Sometimes?”
Ed [fondly] - “All the time, you idiot.”
Stede [holding Ed gently by the shoulders, and gazing at him adoringly] - “And I love you, Edward. I'm grateful for everything that's ever happened to me, because it led me to meeting you. To knowing you. To loving you. And I'm going to take care of you, now and always, in every way I can. I will protect you. I will cherish you forever, my love.”
Ed [slightly stunned] - “… Bloody hell, Stede.”
Stede [sheepishly] - “Sorry… too much?”
Ed - “Nah, it's all good. You're super fucking intense, man. But I like it!”
Stede - “Just as well!”
Ed - “Hmm. Yep. Stede? We really are gonna be ok. I mean, yes please with all the loving and protecting and cherishing and so on and so forth. But don't do those things out of obligation, because you're feeling bad about before. Just, like, do what you'd do anyway? We'll work things out.”
Stede - “Those are very much the things I would do anyway.”
Ed - “Ok, well, good. That's settled then. Gonna prepare to be fuckin cherished to bits I suppose.”
Stede - “Yup, that's the plan.”
[They both turn to look sadly at the grave again.]
Ed [quietly] - “I wish he'd had the chance to be happy with someone as well.”
Stede - “Yes, it's a shame. Was he lonely, do you think?”
Ed - “Previously, maybe, yeah. Not recently though - he and the crew were friendlier than I would have thought possible before. And he had no shortage of options onboard either, lately. Maybe he just wasn't interested. I really thought Lucius was gonna finally manage to seduce him. Or maybe Roach would, or possibly Wee John… Or all of them at once, I suppose - anything goes, if you're all happy with it.”
Stede - “Are you sure they didn't? He did seem rather more, ah… relaxed?”
Ed - “Nah, man, I'd have noticed. Knew him too well to miss that kinda thing going on.”
Stede - “Well, even if he wasn't romantically involved with anyone - “
Ed [interrupting] - “Yeah, I wasn't necessarily talking about romance, mate. Could be just fucking.”
Stede - “Uh. Yes. Well. That. Romantically involved, or, erm, otherwise intimately involved. But I'm glad he was close with the crew, in whatever ways that was expressed. I like to think he was happy there, for a time.”
Ed - “Pretty fuckin short time.”
[LATER, BOTH HUDDLED UP IN BED]
[mid-episode song, playing over this conversation, is “Dimming Of The Day” by Richard & Linda Thompson (timed so the lyrics fit in between lines of dialogue)]
Stede [whispering] - “Ed?”
Ed [completely hidden under the blankets] - “Yeah?”
Stede - “Are you awake?”
Ed - “… Yeah.”
Stede - “Are you alright?”
Ed [from under the blankets] - “Yeah… Uh. No, actually. Nope. Oh, shit! Fuck! Stede, we've made a mistake! We're not innkeepers, we're fuckin' idiots!”
Stede - “It's going to be ok, Ed. The inn will be lovely, it just needs some work!”
Ed [still hiding, a bit muffled] - “What the fuck were we thinking, huh?! We don't know how to fix this place. We don't know how to fuckin run an inn. And this is the middle of fuckin nowhere, nobody will even want to visit an inn here. Which is just as well, because it's gonna be shit!”
Stede - “Ed, you're panicking!”
Ed - “I know! I know that!”
Stede - “That's great!”
Ed - “What?! Why the fuck is that great?!”
Stede - “I don't mean the panicking – I mean admitting it. Accepting it. Instead of denying it and running away. That's growth!”
Ed [suddenly pulling the blankets off himself, to glare at Stede] - “WOW... ok, so firstly, FUCK you. Secondly, yeah, you'd know a thing or two about panicking and running away, wouldn't you? And thirdly, I'm not your fuckin' psychology project, mate.”
Stede - “My darling, I'm sorry, I was just trying to help.”
Ed [angrily] - “Well, try something else. Because you're not fuckin' helping.”
Stede - “Sorry...”
Ed - “Just go to sleep.”
Stede - “OK. Goodnight love. Sleep well.”
Ed - “Whatever.”
[They lie side-by-side in uncomfortable silence for a few moments.]
Ed - “Stede?”
Stede - “Yes?”
Ed - “Sorry for snapping at you… ”
Stede - “It's alright.”
Ed [miserably] - “No, it's not. It's fucked up. Shouldn't take my temper out on you, I don't wanna go down that path… But seriously, Stede, what are we doing here?! I'm not panicking any more. I'm just saying, very calmly, that this whole thing is fucking mental and our plans are completely doomed.”
Stede - “We don't have to run an inn, if we don't want to. There are loads of things we could do!”
Ed - “Got to stay here, now, though. Can't leave Izzy. What the hell can we do from here? And don't suggest fishing, I've decided that's not really for me.”
Stede - “Uh… well, we could go exploring, but stay based here in between adventures. That sounds nice.”
Ed [tiredly] - “And how're we gonna make a living? Got to get by somehow, remember.”
Stede - “Ah, yes. Sorry. I tend to forget about that.”
Ed - “Regretting giving up all your money and stuff?”
Stede - “Not at all. We'll manage - we've got grit and determination!”
Ed [exasperated but fond] - “Oh my god, love, how many times? We also need something a bit more tangible. Love your positivity, but it's not enough on its own. I know you're kind of a big-picture guy, but the practicalities are important too. What shall we do for the rest of our lives, huh?”
Stede [looking over at the lighthouse painting propped against the wall] - “I guess we could maybe be lighthouse-keepers?”
Ed - “If there was a lighthouse near here. Which there isn't… Anyway, we don't wanna be relying on the authorities to pay us a wage. They might recognise us and just fucking kill us instead.”
Stede - “Not ideal.”
Ed [getting increasingly enthusiastic] - “Nope. We need to do something that can be a bit clandestine when needed. So we can trade discreetly, to get stuff we need. I'm a pretty fuckin good swimmer, maybe I could learn to dive for pearls. Yeah. Probably make a fortune, selling them to the fancy folks. We can build a fuckin mansion here!”
Stede - “Just a functioning roof would be fine, love, we don't need a mansion.”
Ed [calmer now] - “Ok. Right. Let's make some plans. Initially, we just have to survive. Got enough supplies for a couple of weeks, but it'll go further if we can supplement it with extra provisions. I'm absolutely not returning to fishing on a professional level, but maybe just for us would be ok. Could go out in that little dinghy they left.”
Stede - “Sounds wonderful. Maybe you could show me how to as well? I'd love to go fishing with you.”
Ed - “Sure thing, man, sounds great. So, that's sorted, we survive. And while we're out fishing, we can do bit of exploring around here, see if I can find some pearls. After that, the plan will either be working out how to sell them - or potentially, figuring out what to do instead, if I can't find any.”
Stede - “What'll I do, Ed? I'm a decent swimmer, but I've never done any diving. It'll take ages of practicing before I'm good enough to help properly! And I don't you having to do everything.”
Ed - “Nah, you'll be on lookout duty. Watch out for any sharks that are looking to find some tasty Ed for their dinner.”
Stede [horrified] - “What?? Sharks?! This sounds far too dangerous, we'll think of something else!”
Ed [placatingly] - “It'll be fine, we'll be careful. I can have a long string tied onto me or something, we'll have a code of, like, three consecutive short tugs means get the fuck out of the water fast.”
Stede [unsure] - “Are you sure it'll be safe?”
Ed - “It'll be alright. The bay here is pretty shallow, good visibility, no change for a big hungry fish to wander up close without being spotted.”
Stede - “Ok then, if you're certain. I shall be a vigilant watchman, and make sure you're safe. You're an absolute snack, my darling, and I don't want to share!”
Ed - “Ha! Thanks love. Appreciate that. Please don't call me a snack in front of Buttons, though, if we ever see him again. Don't want him getting any ideas. That guy is way too keen on cannibalism.”
Stede - “Indeed he is.”
Ed - “Do you think he still thirsts for human flesh, or would he be more interested in other birds now?”
Stede - “Couldn't really say… would rather not find out, though.“
Ed [suggestively] - “How about you, huh? Thirsting for human flesh at all…?”
Stede [aghast] - “What?! No, of course not! Ed, what the hell?! We'll go and catch some fish, like we were just saying - we're not going to resort to cannibalism!”
Ed - “No, no, I didn't mean it like that! I was just flirting with you.”
Stede - “Ohhh, I see. Sorry… still a bit new to all this. Could you perhaps be a little clearer with your intentions? And, maybe use fewer incredibly disturbing metaphors?”
Ed [grinning] - “Sure thing, love.”
[Stede & Ed embark on some passionate smooching, which seems to be a very clear method of communication. The closing shot of the scene pans up past gently wafting curtains, (the plant in a metal mug is sitting on the windowsill), and then up through a gap in the ceiling. A seagull is perched on the very top of the roof, sleeping with its head tucked under its wing. After a few moments, the gull is woken up by Ed's appreciative cries of “Oh, Stede!” - it ruffles its feathers indignantly, then glides off to find somewhere quieter to sleep.]
SCENE 2 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE -
[Oluwande approaches Frenchie & Zheng, who are deep in conversation over the charts.]
Oluwande - “Uh, captain… ”
Frenchie & Zheng [together] - “Yes?”
Roach [in the background] - “Ah, this again, huh?”
Zheng - “Sorry, force of habit… ”
Frenchie - “Nah, no worries. I do still think you should be captain, though. I was only first mate for about five minutes… really not sure leadership is right for me anyway.”
Zheng - “You'll do fine. And at least you didn't get an entire fleet killed.”
Oluwande - “We're gonna find them, Zheng. I bet loads of them are ok, we'll rescue them, you'll see.”
Zheng - “We'll see, yes. Anyway, Frenchie, I was flattered that you tried to defer to me. But I'll be off soon, once we find any of my fleet that are salvageable. We need as many ships as possible, to spread out and look for the rest. I know it's a long shot, but I owe it to them to try.”
Frenchie [to Oluwande] - “How about you, mate? Any second thoughts? As far as I'm concerned, it's yours if you want it. Please?”
Oluwande - “Zheng's right, you're gonna do fine. It's natural to worry, just means you're not too cocky. That's a rare quality in a captain, and it's no bad thing!”
Frenchie - “You're absolutely sure then? I can't persuade you?”
Oluwande - “Nope, sorry man. But you'll be awesome.”
Frenchie - “Would you maybe consider the role of first mate?”
Oluwande - “I'd be honoured. Though, advance warning, I don't know how long it would be for. We've been talking about heading back to China, when all this is over. If we're even still alive of course… ”
Frenchie - “Yeah, that works, if you're ok to do it for now. Thanks man. We'll figure something else out later.”
Zheng - “You've made a good choice, Frenchie.”
Frenchie - “I know. This guy's the best.”
Oluwande - “Awww, thanks you two. Ok, right. Well, I came over to speak to you, captain, because I'm kinda worried about the crew. It's all been a bit shit recently, hasn't it? To be frank, everyone's fuckin traumatised. I thought we might hold some kind of memorial for Izzy, maybe tonight? The funeral was so rushed. I think it would be good for folks to talk. Pay our respects, share our thoughts, get some fucked up stuff out in the open if anyone wants to. What do you think?”
Frenchie - “Yeah, sounds good. We'll gather on deck, once we've anchored somewhere well hidden for the night. Let's all talk about plans then, too. I'm sure Izzy wouldn't disapprove of us conducting some ship's business right before his memorial. He'd probably be relieved we're not putting sentiment ahead of practicalities.”
Oluwande - “Yeah, absolutely. Let's do that. I'll let everyone know.”
Frenchie - “Cheers.”
[LATER, ANCHORED, AS THE SUN SETS]
[Lucius & Pete emerge from belowdeck, arms around each other.]
Wee John - “Oh, hey guys. Didn't think we'd be seeing either of you for a while.”
[They get closer, he sees that Lucius has been crying.]
Wee John - “Ah. You doing ok?”
Lucius - “Yeah, no, not really. And, uh, wasn't in the mood for a honeymoon… Sorry, babe. This isn't how I had imagined the first few hours of married life.”
Pete - “No need to apologise, sweetie. I just wanna take care of you.”
Lucius - “Awww. Love you, babe.”
Pete - “Love you too.”
Wee John - “Ah, you two are so feckin adorable.”
Lucius - “Yep! And we know it. Right, hubby?”
Pete - “Absolutely!”
[Lucius smiles at Pete fondly, but then starts crying again. Pete hugs him close.]
[Roach is working his way around everyone, passing them each a fruit bun and a mug of rum-and-hot-chocolate. The Swede distributes blankets and cushions, then goes to snuggle up beside Jackie. Fang and Lucius are both crying onto Pete's shoulders, while Wee John tries to help him comfort them. Oluwande sits close beside Jim, who is looking serious and tense, and gives them a one-armed hug. Archie leans affectionately on Jim's other side, uncharacteristically subdued. Zheng sits solemnly beside Oluwande, holding his other hand. Auntie is speaking quietly with Jackie. Frenchie perches atop the capstan, where Stede used to sit for storytime.]
Frenchie [to all assembled] -“Alright, people. Hello. Thank you all for, uh, gathering with me this evening. Couple of things to run through first, and then we thought it would be nice to maybe have a bit of a chat about Izzy. Something of an understatement to say we had our differences in the past, but more recently… well, quite a few of us owe him our lives, and quite a few times over. As did he to us too, of course… I just wish we could have saved him today.
Got a few other points to discuss first, though, before we get going with the memorial service. In a minute, I'll ask everyone to contribute whatever you feel is important to say about our plans over the next few days and weeks, and longer-term too if you like.
Right, uh. As I said, hello. Thank you all for electing me captain. Really not sure I'm the logical choice, but I'll give it my best shot. Absolutely no hard feelings if you decide it's better to give someone else a try. We could, like, all take turns or something. That would be pretty unconventional, but it could be fun maybe. And anyway, whoever is being captain at whatever point, we're all gonna run this ship between us. We've got different skills, different experiences. We're kind of an odd bunch for a pirate crew, but if we all learn from each other, we can make this work.
So, for now at least, I'm serving as your captain. And Oluwande has kindly agreed to be my first mate, for the time being. Ok… so, I think that was everything. Let's get on with planning our strategy, then. Zheng, d'you want to start?”
Zheng - “Thanks, captain. Alright, so, I need to ask you all for help. My crew, those who haven't already died, are in danger. The survivors from my ships near the Republic Of Pirates may have been executed already. I doubt it, though – I think Ricky will want to make a spectacle of it, and that'll take a little while to arrange. Not long though, so we need to move fast if we're to have any chance of saving them. But the same thing applies to the rest of the fleet – they're all trained in survival, of course, but being adrift far out at sea in a damaged vessel will be challenging. They should last a few days, though, which may be longer than the prisoners have. So I reckon we need to head straight back to Ricky first - which he will undoubtably be expecting, so we've got to come up with something pretty fucking good if we want to sneak past him.”
Auntie - “Yeah. First things first, we'll go back there and do a quick in-and-out to get the crew back. No time for stopping off to kill Ricky just yet, much as I would dearly love to. We need to focus on getting our people to safety, we can go back for revenge later. Free the prisoners, then run straight back out to sea and get on with finding the rest of the fleet. I have been recreating The Board - “
Oluwande [interrupting with a sheepish grin] - “ - which I will not touch - “
Auntie - “ - which none of you will touch! It's not going to be quite as accurate as it was before, since I don't know which of the ships are still capable of sailing and which will just be drifting. But it's a starting point, and it's the best we're gonna get. As soon as we have another ship or two functioning, it'll get easier to spread out and locate the rest. I'm hopeful that many of the crew will survive. Not all of them will have, I know - I've no false illusions there. And I will not rest until Ricky answers for their murders.”
Zheng - “Absolutely. So, first we'll stage a prison break. Following that, a search and rescue effort across the entire ocean. Then go back and kill Ricky. None of these steps will be simple, or safe. But we can do it, we can outsmart him. I underestimated him before, and my crew paid the price for my hubris. He'll be over-confident now though, he'll make the same mistake I did. And he will die for it.”
Jackie - “If we go meet up with the lads, that's another ship and crew who can help search for your fleet. And they should be right near here tomorrow, according to our prearranged schedule. I agree that we've gotta spread out as much as possible, and fast, if we're to retrieve any survivors before the navy or the elements get them first. Once we've rescued as many of them as we can – well, that's a good start to rebuilding a pirate fleet, and then we can go fuck up Ricky's plans. And kill him, obviously… but I'd quite like him to know he's beaten first. If possible, that is. I won't stay my hand while aiming for even better revenge though, and miss a change to get rid of the little shit.”
Zheng - “Who are these 'lads' you're talking about?”
Jackie - “M'husbands, of course. They're in my ship. A ship, by the way, which Ricky won't recognise - nor will he recognise the men. That could be useful.”
Zheng [surprised] - “They're ok? I thought your bar was attacked?”
Jackie - “Yeah. But I sent the guys out along one of the escape tunnels, after the first explosions but before the fuckin Brits arrived and made themselves comfy.”
Swede - “Wait, so the others really are alright then? When you said that before, I thought you were just trying to cheer me up.”
Jackie - “Yeah, they're fine. Well… mostly, anyhow. We lost a couple of them. They will be avenged though. Jackie does not take kindly to people murdering her husbands.”
Swede - “Yes, you always get revenge. Every time! I've seen you do that. It's actually very alluring.”
Jackie - “Thanks, boo-cakes. I appreciate that.”
Oluwande - “Sorry to interrupt the love-in, you guys, but – what? How'd you know where the ship will be? With everything that's been happening, I doubt they'd be safe staying in one place for too long.”
Jackie - “You think Jackie's got no contingency plan for that kind of thing? Ha! All my husbands are trained up with a complex set of strategies for a fuck-ton of different unpleasant scenarios. This one right here being scenario number twenty-seven, which is: the bar and the republic have fallen, Jackie has sent as many of her men as possible to safety, she'll be joining them soon after unleashing her wrath upon the dogs who wronged her.”
Jim - “That's pretty detailed. How many of these scenarios do you have?”
Jackie - “Forty-two. Though some of them include sub-clauses too. So, counting all those additional ones as well, it would be sixty-nine.”
Jim & Archie [together, grinning] - “Nice.”
Swede - “Wait, is this all in that big book you were making me read? I don't think I had got as far as these parts?”
Jackie - “No worries, pet. You're new, it takes time to learn all this. You were doing great. Just hadn't finished the whole curriculum yet.”
Frenchie - “Thanks, people. Ok, so, it sounds like we've got a plan taking form. Can we go around everyone now, please, and check we're all on the same page? Feel free to bring up any concerns or additions - either now, or come and find myself or Oluwande later if you prefer.”
Jim - “Let's go kill that slimy prince. As soon as we can, yeah, after we're done with the rescue? Once he's dead, then we can work out what to do for the longer-term. We gotta get vengeance for Izzy first, and also stop whatever shitty plans are coming up next. So… goodbye, Ricky.”
Pete - “Sounds good, yeah. Shall we go and tell the captains - the former captains I mean - once it's done?”
Lucius [exasperated] - “Oh my god, babe! Even after everything, you're still desperate for Blackbeard to approve of you?”
Pete - “Well, I mean, yeah… a little bit? Is that so bad? I know he fucked up, it's not like I'm over that, of course I'm still pissed off. But, also - the guy's a fuckin genius, babe, he's the best!”
Lucius [fondly, teasing] - “Oh my god, you're so cute when you've got a crush… D'you want me to dress up sometime?“
Oluwande - “OK, guys, I think we're getting a bit off-track here… anybody else got thoughts? Thoughts on our actual plans, I mean, not thoughts on how hot anyone is?”
[The rest of the crew agree with the plans as outlined so far. The scene fades out with a shot of charts being produced. Frenchie, Oluwande, Zheng, Auntie & Jackie gather around to coordinate the various parts of their strategies.]
SCENE 3 – RICKY'S NEW HEADQUARTERS (formerly Spanish Jackie's Bar ) –
[Ricky approaches the cell which previously held the crew of the Revenge. It is now one of several which are occupied by many of Zheng's crew – survivors from the bombed ships in the harbour. Several are injured, and they are all looking tired and disheveled.]
Ricky - “Good afternoon, ladies. My apologies to you all for the rather basic accommodation. I trust there aren't too many rats?… Or do you people eat them?”
[Some of the imprisoned crew glare at him, others stare resolutely in a different direction.]
Ricky [mockingly] - “Oh dear… is it something I said… ? Or perhaps you're upset with me because I double crossed your so-called queen with such devastating results?”
[One of the crew (Minghui) steps forward to the bars.]
Minghui - “What do you want, why are you even down here bothering us? If you're building up to a dramatic announcement of our executions, don't bother – and don't expect us to be surprised. You won't get the satisfaction of alarming us.”
Ricky - “Ah, thank you for that very helpful information. I shall temper my expectations accordingly. But in answer to your somewhat brusque question - I am visiting you to request an audience with whomsoever is the most high-ranking surviving crew-member. Would I be correct in guessing that is yourself, my dear?”
Minghui - “Don't patronise me, boy. And yes, I'm one of the more senior crew here. What of it?”
Ricky - “Well, you see, I was hoping to have a discussion with you, on some topics I've been pondering lately. There are so many human traits that we all share, don't you agree? Loyalty and trust… fear and resentment. Also, understanding the consequences of our actions… And most of all, the will to survive.”
Minghui - “How lovely for you. An amateur philosopher in the making. Is there a point to all this?”
Ricky - “Well, it seems such a waste to have you all imprisoned here. Skilled fighters, skilled sailors… And yes, your assumption is quite correct that your executions are scheduled for the not too distant future. But perhaps we could reach a different agreement? Taming this 'republic of pirates' is an ongoing task, and so many of my men are needed elsewhere as the area we control grows.”
Minghui - “Are you suggesting that any of us would agree to work for you?! You're insane.”
Ricky - “Insanely brilliant, I prefer. And I have great faith in your loyalty.”
Minghui - “Yes. We are loyal to our queen. You think we'd switch to your side, just because you bested her once? We're not that fickle. She will come here to rescue us, and she will kill you.”
Ricky - “No no no, my dear, you misunderstand. I would never expect to receive your loyalty. But… I do truly believe in the strength of your loyalty to each other. If just half of you were freed at any time, to work for you keep… would you really condemn your imprisoned colleagues to a terribly painful death, by disobeying or trying to escape?”
Minghui - “Why the hell would we agree to that?! No. Go ahead and hang us all. We're not working for you, scum.”
Ricky - “Shouldn't you consult with the others before taking such a weighty decision? There would be advantages to accepting. You would be provided with food, perhaps even some medical supplies to treat your injured. Think on it.”
Minghui - “No, there's no need to think. We reject your offer, and we don't want to hear anything more about it. Now go.”
[A young crew member (Jing) speaks, from the back of the cell where she has been attempting to treat the wounds of an injured friend.]
Jing - “Minghui? Please. We need medicine and clean bandages. What harm is there in hearing him out?”
Minghui [snarling with rage] - “How dare you speak out against me? Be quite, remember your place.”
[Jing looks at the floor, ashamed. The others glare at her.]
Jing - “I am sorry, Minghui.”
Minghui [coldly] - “Do not question me again. I am your superior.”
[Jing nods and starts to cry. Ricky looks at her thoughtfully for a few moments, then leaves. The guards resume their usual posts, monitoring all of the cells. Minghui catches Jing's eye, under the pretense of continuing to berate her for insubordination. Unseen by the guards, they smile at each other.]
SCENE 4 – AT THE “INN” –
[mid-episode song, playing over Ed's dream, is “The Ghost Of You Walks” by Richard Thompson]
[Scene starts with a shot of the nightmare Ed is having – Izzy in standing beside his own grave, leaning on a crutch to support him with his leg missing. Dream-Izzy contemplates the grave marker, then turns to Ed and says scathingly - “For fuck's sake, Eddie, you took my leg off AGAIN?!”]
Ed - “ARGH! OH FUCK!”
Stede - “Ed! Edward, wake up! Wake up, my love. It's ok, you're alright, you're safe… You were having a bad dream.”
Ed [shaken] - “Fuck… I was dreaming about Izzy. He said I'd taken his leg again. Shit. We should have left it on him. We fucked up again, Stede, we couldn't even bury him right… ”
Stede - “I mean… we could make him a different grave marker? If you like? If you think he'd prefer to be buried with the unicorn leg attached?”
Ed [unsure] - “What, just like… dig him up, strap it back on, re-bury him?”
Stede - “Yes. I don't see why not. I mean, it's not like we'd disturb him. And I know that exhuming someone can be disrespectful, but this is the opposite of grave-robbing, isn't it? More like grave-adding.”
Ed - “I guess that'd be ok… what should we make for the marker instead?”
Stede - “Well, stone would be longer-lasting of course, outside in the elements. We could carve something? Might take a few attempts, but I'm sure we'd get there eventually. Better start the digging process as soon as possible though, if we're going to do it at all. While he's still relatively, uh, fresh. We can just pop his leg on and fill the grave back in, then work on his new marker afterwards. ”
Ed [fond, sad] - “It should have a unicorn, like the leg. He fucking loved that thing.”
Stede - “Yes, understandably. It was a gift from all of the crew. Very thoughtful of them, taking him under their collective wing like that.”
Ed - “He took care of them, you know, the best he could. During the worst of it all. Kept them as safe as possible, which thanks to me wasn't wasn't very safe at all, but he tried. They were definitely under his wing then. Ooh, yeah, thinking of wings - the gravestone should have a flying swallow on it. And a sword too, because he was the fucking best… Fuck! Why didn't he fucking fight me? He'd have had a good chance, especially with the state I was in.”
Stede - “Because he loved you, Edward. You didn't want to blame him for provoking you, don't blame him for not fighting back.”
Ed [despairing] - “Yeah, ok. Oh, this is so fucked up… Do you think there's any way I could have made it up to him? After everything? We'd been through a lot of shit over the decades, hurt each other pretty badly, but we always had each other's backs. I crossed a line, towards the end. D'you think we could ever have got back to trusting each other, after all that? Felt like we were maybe moving in that direction recently… but only because we were both pretending that none of it had happened. Not really a great fuckin strategy. But I guess we'll never know if we could have made things right. Oh shit. Fuck. What the hell am I meant to do, after all that?! I went fucking insane. Why did I keep chopping his toes off, huh?”
Stede [clearly out of his depth] - “Um… I perhaps don't really know the dynamics of your relationship well enough to understand properly…?”
Ed - “I stand by that first one, mind you. The man was out of line. A captain needs to maintain discipline.”
Stede [grimacing] - “Perhaps there might be less extreme ways of doing so?”
Ed [thoughtfully] - “Perhaps. Though I've seen Hornigold do way worse. Hmm. Shit. Kind of a low bar there, though, isn't it? Not really the role model I want to be comparing myself to… Well, fuck. But anyway… after that first one, though. He wasn't threatening me, wasn't even disobeying. But I took it out on him, whenever anything wasn't quite right. And he just… let me. I was hoping he'd snap, and put me out of my misery, but he was too fucking loyal for his own good. Should have just asked Jim instead, I bet they'd have done it.”
Stede [upset] - “Possibly, yes. I'm extremely grateful that you didn't request their assistance.”
Ed - “I hope the crew's doing ok. Must be weird for them. They're probably way more relaxed without me there, but they'll miss Izzy. He was always looking out for them. Recently, I mean. Not back when he was setting the fucking British navy on us, the dickhead.”
Stede - “He was a complicated man.”
Ed [fondly] - “Incredibly loyal. Uncompromisingly so. He really believed that it was the only way to keep me safe. He thought your somewhat unconventional pirating style was going to get us all killed. Plus, he was also being a jealous little bitch about you, obviously.”
Stede - “Mmhmm, yes, I gathered. I may not be the best at reading social cues, but I did pick up on that… He changed a fair bit, lately, didn't he? He was actually very helpful. Still speaking his mind very plainly of course… I think it's fair to say tact wasn't his strongpoint.”
Ed [quietly] - “He didn't change that much, really. You just see it that way because he became loyal to you, rather then working against you. He always looked out for our crew, back on the Queen Anne too. Tried to avoid them dying, if possible. Often wasn't possible, in our line of work. And that bothered him, like, WAY more than it ever bothered me.”
Stede - “I hope our crew will take care of themselves… I'm going to miss them.”
Ed - “Yeah, same. Bunch of fucking awkward misfit weirdos, I liked them. They're a decent lot, they'll take care of each other. And they're probably better off without either of us there.”
Stede [hurt] - “Ed, that's depressing.”
Ed - “Sorry, love.”
[mid-episode song, at the end of scene 4, is “Ghosts In The Wind” by Richard Thompson – set to a shot zooming out from the inn to include Izzy's grave, where the seagull is now perched asleep on the crossbar of the marker (song continues into the start of scene 5)]
SCENE 5 - ONBOARD THE REVENGE –
[The charts have been stowed away. The crew are gathered in a rough circle on the deck, wrapped in blankets and many hugging each other, having an informal memorial service.]
[Jim stands abruptly. They are thoughtfully twirling a knife.]
Jim - “Never expected to care about Izzy. If you'd told me I was going to, back when he was just, like, yelling at us all and ratting us out… well, I'd have thought you were stupid, drunk, lying, or all three. But we saw a different side of him, back when Blackbeard was… deteriorating. Izzy tried to protect us. Every day was more dangerous than the last, it was fucking scary. And yeah, I know, being a pirate - never the most secure or comfortable life. But this was crazy. Blackbeard was fucking possessed, he was relentless. We had to keep raiding more ships every day, no matter what injuries or losses we sustained. We were all fucking exhausted from keeping up the pace we were driven to, and we were constantly terrified. Between the raids, we were right here. On this ship, scared out of our fucking minds, knowing that the man in control of our lives was losing his grip on reality… Blackbeard mostly kept to himself, the guy was drowning his sorrows in a whole fucking ocean of rum, rhino horn and whatever the fuck else he could get hold of. But sometimes we'd see him above deck, and that was... pretty tense. We weren't sure how far he'd go, out of boredom or desperation or whatever, and we didn't know if he suspected we were less than keen to be working for him. Whenever he started taking too much interest in the crew, Izzy would distract him, get him away from us, get Blackbeard's attention back onto himself instead. Even when he knew damn well what it was going to cost him.”
Fang - “He always did make an effort to keep his crew safe. He cared, in a harsh kinda way. Tried to arrange for as many risks as possible to be accounted for, so we didn't lose anyone when it could be avoided. Made sure that whenever we did lose crew, if they'd told us who their people were, we'd pass on their belongings and any loot owed to them. It's not much, at a time like that, but it's better than nothing. It's a dangerous life, this. Not only the fighting and so on, but the sea, and the storms, and the rocks, and the reefs. And also the constant worry that if the ship isn't taken care of, she'll just fall apart and sink, and we'll all drown. Of course, Izzy was always making sure the maintenance was being done properly. This… often involved quite a lot of yelling.”
[some tearful laughs]
Lucius - “Yeah, little bit over-zealous in that department… Remember when he made me scrape off the barnacles?! Well, tried to make me… that didn't go so well for him though.”
Fang - “Of course I remember. Ha! Well played, babe.”
Lucius - “When he found us, oh my god, I think we broke his brain. He was without a doubt the most repressed man I've ever met, and that's up against some very stiff competition. How the hell was he still such a prude, after decades on pirate ships?! Nice to see him chill out a bit, recently. I would never have guessed he could sing like that, it was fucking beautiful.”
Wee John - “He was fucking beautiful.”
Lucius - “Yeah.”
Wee John - “Thought he was gonna laugh, when he found me getting ready to be Calypso. Never woulda expected that he'd want to join in. It was fun though. And then, saw a whole new side of him, yeah. Sassy little thing, taking the piss out of Lowe's crew while they were getting ready to torture us. Fuckin epic.”
Fang - “Yeah, back in the day, he tended towards being sarcastic and witty, rather than so angry and bitter. That was before things got kinda fraught on the Queen Anne, these last few years. Him and Blackbeard had been less sure of each other for a while, not working together seamlessly like they had before. Bit tense, y'know? Nothing like when it all went to shit here after Stede left, of course.”
Oluwande [with a comforting arm around Jim's shoulders] - “Those of us who weren't here during the worst of Ed's meltdown, I know we don't fully understand what you all went through. And you don't have to tell us more than you want to, nor are you obliged to keep it to yourselves. Share details, or don't, whatever's best. The rest of us don't need to know every little thing, to understand the effect it had. We saw the difference in all of you. I'm sorry you had to get through all that, and I wish we could have helped. Glad you had each other, though, during the worst times. I never would of thought Izzy would be the one protecting you. But it turns there was a decent bloke hidden underneath all that pent-up rage!”
[Jim smiles sadly but fondly, and rests against Oluwande's side.]
Roach - “Ah, such a fierce little man. Kinda cute.”
Jackie - “Agreed. Too bad he wasn't keen on getting married.”
Roach - “You proposed to Izzy?!”
Jackie - “Yeah, fuckin years ago. No issue that he wasn't too keen on the ladies, Jackie was open to it being strictly a political union. But he wasn't gonna divide his loyalty to Blackbeard by getting hitched.”
Pete [smiling at Lucius] - “I bet you he'd have changed his mind for you, though, babe. Like, eventually. Probably after quite a long time, and quite a lot of cursing.”
Lucius - “Hmm, perhaps. We were still a long long way off from anything even vaguely in that direction though. Not even sure he knew I fancied him.”
Wee John [laughing] - “Of course he knew! Everyone knew! You weren't exactly subtle. And we all saw the way he looked at you, as well. Sorry to break it to you, but if either of you were trying to hide your interest, you were doing an absolutely shit job of it.”
[Lucius smiles, and Pete kisses his cheek.]
Oluwande - “Hey Frenchie, you want to say anything?”
Frenchie - “Nah, man, I'll just… “
[He picks up his lute and begins to play the tune to La Vie On Rose. Jim buries their face in Oluwande's shoulder, Wee John pats Fang on the back as he sobs openly, Pete & Lucius sway together. Jim gets up and goes over to Fang, pulling him into a tight hug.]
SCENE 6 – RICKY'S HQ –
Ricky - “Good morning. I'm feeling rather magnanimous today, so I thought I would give you one more chance to consider my generous offer which you so rudely turned down yesterday.”
[Minghui steps forward and takes a breath to speak – he interrupts her.]
Ricky - “No, not you. Where's that young lady who was sensible enough to actually think, rather than lash out automatically… Aha, there she is. Come here, miss.”
[He gestures to the front of the cell. Jing, who has been sitting apart from the others, shunned, glances fearfully at Minghui, and does not get up. As she turns her head, new bruises are visible on her face.]
Ricky - “No, don't look at her. You answer to me now. Come here!”
[Reluctantly, Jing approaches the bars.]
Ricky - “Oh dear, what has happened to you? All for daring to voice an opinion? Don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you.”
[Jing stares at the floor, silent and trembling. Ricky nods to the guards. Several of them raise their pistols and aim at the group of prisoners, through the bars of the cell.]
Jing - “No! Please! What do you want?”
Ricky - “That's better.”
[He nods again to the guards. They keep their guns raised, as one of them briefly unlocks the cell door and pulls Jing out roughly, locking it again behind her. Ricky sighs and looks irritated.]
Ricky - “There's no need to manhandle the poor thing. She's clearly terrified, and this is meant to be a gesture of good faith. Listed here, girl. Do you want your colleagues to go hungry for the next few days? I wouldn't blame you, after the way you've been treated.”
[Jing shakes her head.]
Ricky - “Well, isn't that nice. But if you want them fed, you're going to have to do it yourself. I can't spare any staff to look after these criminals. You will work in the kitchens, and bring meals here. If you try to cross me, you will die, but not until you have watched your friends perish most horribly. Do you accept my terms?”
[Jing is crying silently, but she nods.]
Ricky - “Marvelous! I knew we could find some common ground if we just had a nice little chat. If this goes well, perhaps some of the rest of you will consider a similar arrangement. Be pragmatic, for goodness sake! Live on, to fight another day.”
[Minghui glares at him, speechless with rage. Ricky looks at her, amused.]
Ricky - “Hmmm, yes, of course. I don't think this young lady will be safe back in there with you, will she? Despite the work she'll be doing, to make you more comfortable. How ungrateful!”
Jing [timidly] - “Please, do not make me stay apart from my friends, sir.”
Ricky - “Aww, how sweet. No, you can stay here, when you're not working. I won't risk shutting you in a cell with this rabble though… Guards, listen up. From now on, your post is to be outside the door to this room. Give the ladies some privacy to wash and treat their injuries and so on. The cells will remain locked, of course, but Jing will stay in this area outside of them. Supplies for the prisoners will be deposited here, she will be in charge of distributing them. If she tries to escape, be sure not to kill her immediately. That would be far too kind.”
Jing - “I will not disappoint you, sir, I want my friends to be well cared for.”
[The guards leave, and Ricky starts to follow them. Jing turns to address the prisoners, before accompanying him.]
Jing - “Please forgive me. I only wish to keep you all safe. I will return soon, with food, and with whatever blankets and medical supplies we are granted.”
Minghui [hissing] - “Traitor.”
[Jing's back is turned to Ricky, he can't see her face. She catches Minghui's eye, and winks.]
SCENE 7 – AT THE “INN” –
[Ed & Stede hold hands, standing solemnly by Izzy's graveside. A seagull circles above them.]
Ed [exhales decisively] - “Right then. Let's do this.”
Stede [brandishing a shovel apologetically, looking down at the grave] - “Sorry about this, Izzy. We'll be all done in just a tick, and then you can rest peacefully.”
[mid-episode song, playing over the digging and exhumation, is “I Can't Wake Up To Save My Life” by Richard Thompson]
[Ed pulls the grave marker up out of the ground, and starts carefully disassembling it. Stede begins to dig up the grave. Eventually, by now shirtless and streaked with dirt, he reaches the coffin.]
Stede - “Edward, my love. Do you want to do this part?”
Ed - “Uh. Not especially. Can do, though, if you don't want to?”
Stede - “It's alright, I can do it… OK, yes. I've got this. Get ready to pass me the unicorn leg. I'm going in… now.”
[Stede wrenches open the lid of the coffin. Izzy is revealed, pale and seemingly lifeless. Stede begins to cry, his tears making tracks through a smudge of earth on his cheek. He turns to Ed, who wordlessly gives him the unicorn leg. Stede straps the leg in place, and goes to replace the coffin lid.]
Ed [also crying softly] - “Wait a minute. I want to say goodbye properly.”
[Ed gives Stede a hand to climb up out of the ground. They stand looking at each other, then gently bump foreheads for a moment before Ed turns and jumps down into the grave. He wipes his hands on his clothes, then reaches tentatively towards Izzy's face. He pauses.]
Ed [looking up at Stede, silhouetted against the bright sky] - “Could you give us a moment, love?”
Stede - “Of course. I'll go and look at the sea for a little while. Come and get me when you're ready? Or just call out, I won't be far off.”
[Ed smiles sadly and nods, and Stede walks away from the graveside. Ed crouches back down to speak to Izzy. He reaches out again, and cups Izzy's cheek, running his thumb over the 'x' tattoo.]
Ed - “Goodbye, mate. I hope you're at peace. I'm so fuckin sorry, Iz. For shooting you. And for the thing with the toes, that was… really fucked up. Uh… so, this is goodbye, I guess. I already said that, didn't I? Oh fuck.”
[He pats Izzy's cheek. Behind him, the seagull lands briefly on the edge of the grave and caws loudly before flying away, startling Ed.]
Ed [looking back down fondly at Izzy] - “You know, it's kinda difficult to hold a conversation with you, like this. You're not saying much… Which feels really weird, because normally you don't know when to shut the fuck up, you twat… I'm really gonna miss you, mate. Hope you're in a better place, if that's a thing that can happen.”
[Ed takes out Izzy's scarf & ring, which he had also removed from the grave marker, and gently returns them to their proper place.]
Ed - “There ya go. You're all back together… Well, more or less. Sorry, again. And goodbye, again.”
[Ed take Izzy's hand and squeezes tight, crying. Izzy's eyelids flicker. Ed shouts loudly in surprise. He leans forward to pat Izzy's face, less gently this time. Izzy's eyes open slightly, and he weakly gasps for breath.]
Ed - “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS GOING ON?!… STEDE! STEDE? STEDE!! GET OVER HERE! NOW!!”
[Footsteps can be heard, running towards the grave.]
Stede [calling, from out of sight] - “Edward? What's wrong? Is there a spider?”
Ed - “STEDE, COME HERE! OH MY FUCKIN GOD, LOOK AT IZZY! AM I GOING FUCKING INSANE?!”
[Stede arrives at the graveside, out of breath, and looks down. He sees that Izzy's eyes are open. Ed is staring at Izzy again.]
Stede - “You… opened his eyes? It's usually the other way around, love, shouldn't they be closed? Is it a pirate tradition or something, so he can see what's going on in the afterlife?”
Ed - “I didn't open them! He opened them!”
[Izzy unmistakable rolls his eyes. His breaths becomes stronger, and he turns his head slightly.]
Stede - “AAAAAA, WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Ed - “Yes! That's what I thought!”
Stede - “He's still alive?!”
Ed - “Seems that way, yeah!”
Stede - “Oh my goodness, Izzy, we buried you alive?! Fuck, I'm so sorry, oh god!”
[Ed gets an arm behind Izzy's shoulders and lifts him into a sitting position. Izzy grunts sharply and clutches at his side, where he was shot.]
Ed - “Fuck! Sorry! Oh shit, Stede, we need to get him inside, give him some water, see to this fuckin wound. Izzy, mate… we're gonna take care of you, don't worry, you're gonna be ok.”
[Izzy looks unimpressed, but still can't speak. His eyes close for a moment, and he rests his head on Ed's chest, exhausted.]
Ed - “No! No no no no no! FUCK!! IZZY! Wake up, man, fuckin wake up! Don't fuckin die on me again, please! Izzy! Iz! Can you hear me?!”
[Izzy nods tiredly.]
Ed - “You indestructible little fucker! Fuckin legend! Right, here we go… I'm gonna stand you up now, ok? Hey, Stede, can you help me lift him out of here?”
Stede - “Yep, I'm ready.”
[Ed manages to get Izzy more-or-less standing, and Stede takes hold of him under the arms. As gently as possible, they manoeuvre him up to lie on the grass. Ed jumps up out of the grave.]
Stede - “Izzy, please open your eyes again. Izzy? Izzy!”
[Izzy complies, looking annoyed. He snarls something indistinct at Stede, then gives him a crooked grin.]
Stede - “Was that 'you absolute twat'?”
[Izzy shudders with what might be a laugh. Stede looks concerned.]
Ed - “Stede, I'll carry him inside, can you run ahead and make things ready? Boil some water, get the first aid kit out, find a load of clean cloths and soap?”
[Stede nods and dashes off. Ed picks Izzy up carefully, and carries him bridal-style towards the house. Stede is inside, frantically preparing for them to do some medical care. Ed brings Izzy in and gently lays him on the kitchen table. Stede & Ed work well together as they try to make him comfortable, communicating easily with gestures and quick comments. Stede supports Izzy's head while Ed slips a cushion underneath, then tries to comfort Izzy as Ed starts cleaning and dressing the wound. Izzy grits his teeth in pain, and also looks fairly pained at Stede's attempts to reassure him. He pats Stede on the hand and rolls his eyes.]
[End-of-episode song, playing over the end of scene 7 plus while the credits roll, is “Isn't Life Strange” by The Moody Blues. Song continues into the post-credits scene.]
POST-CREDITS
SCENE:
Anne
Bonny
& Mary
Read
return
ing
to piracy -
[Late evening, at a port town where several large ships are docked. The ship nearest the sea is guarded by a young man. Anne Bonny & Mary Read are lurking in the shadows a little way off, arguing together in whispers.]
Mary - “I still think we should find us a crew before we get a bloody ship! How the hell are we gonna sail away with only the two of us, huh? This is fucking insane!”
Anne - “Yeah, and I'm sure that would go so very well! 'Oh, hello, who wants to crew our ship? Our ship, that we don't have, and don't even know how we'll get'. We're sure to be fucking inundated with offers.”
Mary - “This is too fucking risky. If that little shit over there suspects anything, he'll just fucking shoot you. You can't carry much weaponry, if you've got any chance whatsoever of fooling him.”
Anne - “I'll fool him easily, just watch and see. I'll be fine. Oh my god, you're so fucking pessimistic!”
Mary - “Oh, well, excuse me if I'd rather you don't get fucking killed! Before we even get back to sea! Oh, fuck. OK then. Go on, do it. Just be fucking careful, please… for whatever stupid reason, and despite your numerous flaws, I'm unaccountably fond of you.“
Anne - “Awww, you're so sentimental.”
[They kiss, then Anne walks off towards the target ship, feigning drunkenness.]