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The first thing Dazai felt when he saw the devilish creature in his slug’s arms was his blood flushing ice cold and a wave of intense dread flooding over him. His eyes remained trained on the wiggling mutt that tried to free itself of Chuuya’s grip, its tail wagging as it grinned at Dazai with doe eyes. To any other person, the dog may have appeared the single most innocent being in the world but to Dazai it was nothing but a conniving beast. The detective’s throat ran dry and he suddenly found it hard to breathe but Dazai was good at not letting his true emotions show. He couldn’t afford to let his mask slip now. Especially not now with this creature- and his own dog- watching him.
Dazai simply smiled tersely at his redheaded partner who had only just noticed that Dazai was home. “Chuuyaaa! How could you get such an ugly creature without checking with me first?”
“Last time I checked, you didn’t live here,” Chuuya deadpanned and sneered at Dazai before turning his attention back to the fuzzy mutt in his arms and cradling it, stroking the small pup’s head affectionately. The dog barked and licked Chuuya’s chin, causing the mafioso to smile despite being covered in disgusting and smelly slobber.
Dazai couldn’t help but glare at the scene. How was Chuuya so alright with such a foul beast covering Chuuya with its unhygienic germs? Whenever Dazai so much as stepped into Chuuya’s apartment Chuuya would threaten to kick Dazai out because of Dazai’s horrible stench but Dazai was so much more cleaner than this mongrel. The mutt looked like it belonged inside a dog food factory instead so that it could get devoured by the stronger ones of its own kind.
“Why did you get such a hideous thing anyway? You know, it doesn’t look very strong or smart to begin with so it can’t be very useful,” Dazai whined. He knew he probably shouldn't utter such things out loud unless he was actively seeking to sleep on the couch instead of beside Chuuya in bed tonight, lest worse be kicked out.
"You're right. Why do I bother keeping you around," Chuuya snorts and rolls his eyes at Dazai's commentary. Dazai's mouth hangs open, speechless and unable to form a response quick enough.
"That's mean, you slug!" Dazai huffs, his lips drooping to a pout. "I'm charming, smart and very handsome so of course I'm worth keeping," Dazai proudly boasts and flashes Chuuya a bodacious grin.
Chuuya scowls at the detective and pushes his face away from him. "Oi, I don't need another one of your fake smiles, shitty mackerel."
Chuuya turned away to walk towards the kitchenette, his fingers running through the fur on his dog's belly as it barked happily, "I need a drink," He muttered
A moment later the sound of the cabinet door opening echoed throughout the apartment and Dazai followed suit, grabbing one of the wine bottles Chuuya kept for his work days. It wasn't the first time Chuuya spent the night and Dazai knew the alcohol would undoubtedly affect Chuuya but he still wanted Chuuya to relax. That way they wouldn't have to worry about dealing with two dogs (Chuuya's new dog and Chuuya himself).
A while later, Chuuya returns with a cup of steaming warm tea which he hands to Dazai and takes a seat, besides the brunette, on the coach. Dazai smiles and blows onto the tea to cool it down before lifting it to his lips.
But before he could take a sip, a voracious figure leaped from behind the couch and onto Dazai’s lap, knocking the cup over and allowing the hot contents to spill and stain Dazai’s clothes and the bandages wrapped around his neck. The cup smashed into pieces as Dazai dropped it and fell to the floor himself in fear, scrambling away from the dog and yelping when it tried to press it’s nose to Dazai
His mind had become nothing but an echoing void and suddenly all Dazai could see was red. Red, baring jagged teeth and darkness everywhere. It was like he was 14 again, locked in the cellar and ravaged by a pack of beasts like he was their prey. Dazai’s mind was in a frenzy of panic as his eyes darted all over the room and his breathing became jarred and bated as his chest heaved and his hands found their way to clench his brown locks and tug on them in distress.
All Chuuya could do was stare at the scene unfold. The sight of Dazai like this unnerved Chuuya. Chuuya had never expected Dazai to act like this in all his years of knowing him. Chuuya had only thought that Dazai hated dogs for no valid reason other than they disgust him but he never expected Dazai to be genuinely scared of them. He didn’t think anything could scare Dazai but after seeing the way Dazai had reacted to something so harmless from the dog he knew that wasn’t the case. Dazai’s reaction was a conditioned response. He must have trauma surrounding dogs. Chuuya would have never guessed since Dazai had never portrayed fear towards anything- even death. Dazai was suicide fanatic for crying out loud. He didn’t fear death but for some reason he feared dogs.
The puppy, however, seemed unaffected by this, licking Dazai with a joyful yip while jumping up in excitement and barking excitedly. It even began to circle around Chuuya’s legs with a similar energy of excitement.
The detective blinked rapidly and took shallow breaths through his nose. This was too much for Dazai and Chuuya was afraid that Dazai was going to start hyperventilating if he kept looking at the dog for too long.
The fact that Dazai was acting this way made Chuuya feel anxious and unsettled. Chuuya glanced at Dazai and frowned. He knew Dazai was scared, that much was clear, but he wasn’t expecting to see this level of terror and discomfort on Dazai’s features. Dazai was always good at hiding his emotions so that, back in the mafia, his subordinates wouldn’t notice when he truly didn’t want to deal with something. He’d always tell everyone what they needed to hear or deflect with words as a way of avoiding the conversation. So seeing Dazai so affected made Chuuya frown deeper. What had happened to make him like this, and why hadn’t Chuuya seen this before? Has Dazai always been this terrified of dogs? Did Mori know? Were there others who knew as well? Did Dazai have anyone else like this? What were they doing to Dazai? He didn’t know how to help. If anything, Chuuya should be comforting Dazai but the mafioso was frozen to the spot as he watched Dazai’s panicked expression contort into pain.
Chuuya decided to finally do something and picked up the dog, locking it away in his bedroom before rushing back over to where Dazai was curled on the floor and hyperventilating. Chuuya kneeled and sat down on the floor in front of Dazai to help his partner snap out of his dissociative state.
“Hey hey hey, it’s okay Dazai,” Chuuya gently cooed at Dazai and tried to calm him down. The brunette flinched under Chuuya’s touch but thankfully calmed enough to be able to breathe properly.
Chuuya waited until Dazai had calmed down and stared into those dull and empty mahogany brown eyes before finally asking. “What happened?”
Dazai shook his head slowly and closed his eyes, taking deep, and shaky breaths to calm himself. “Nothing…it’s stupid…” The detective whispered weakly and averted his gaze from Chuuya. He nudged Chuuya's hand away from him before standing up and awkwardly looking away from Chuuya in shame that he had allowed someone to see him like this.
“No it isn’t,” Chuuya said firmly. It was clearly something serious if Dazai had reacted in such a way. “I don’t need you sprouting your bullshit when we both know that this is something serious, you bastard,” the redhead snaps and casts Dazai a stern look, crossing his arms.
Dazai glances at the executive before him before turning on his heels and heading towards the door. The action momentarily shocks Chuuya but then proceeds to infuriate him further. “What? Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! I’m talking to you.”
“I don’t know,” Dazai’s voice shakes as he sniffs. For the first time in years, he isn’t thinking straight anymore. For the first time, he’s lost and thinking illogically enough to give into his emotions and it terrifies him. His clothes were still stained with tea and his hair was still dishevelled, not to mention the dried tears that streaked down his cheek. He was a mess, as if it wasn’t already obvious. Where could Dazai even go in such a bedraggled state? To his own home? Or perhaps to Atsushi's place? But that would only raise questions from his mentee which he wasn't prepared to answer.
“You can’t just run away Dazai! Don’t you dare run away. We need to talk this out,” Chuuya huffs, frustrated and stands up from his spot on the ground, walking over to grab a hold of Dazai’s arm and pull him back towards him, forcing Dazai to face him.
“Talk to me! Talk to me right now. You need to tell me what’s bothering you because I can’t read you like I used to. I won’t stand for you running off again and not saying shit about it,” Chuuya demanded, glaring at his partner fiercely and trying to convey his frustration and concern through his glare alone.
“Chuuya…you don’t get it,” Dazai mumbles and tries to pull his arm free from the redhead’s grasp but Chuuya refuses to let him go. “Let go of me!” He orders, his tone rumbling low in warning.
“Stop being difficult! I won’t ask again. What’s wrong?” Chuuya asks once more, narrowing his eyes, his grip tightening.
Dazai sighs deeply as he looks Chuuya in the eyes, studying the mafioso's expression.
"It's.... difficult," Dazai begins to speak in a slow manner and looks down to the floor. He bites his lips, the taste of iron now pungent in his mouth. "I haven't always had the best experience with dogs."
He says hesitantly. He knows it's not enough of an explanation for Chuuya but he hopes that it would at least satisfy Chuuya enough. It’s better that than nothing. And he’s done this so many times before with Chuuya. Dazai thinks he might be able to manage it without fully opening up but giving tidbits every now and then.
"Yeah?" Chuuya asks.
"Yeah," Dazai nods in affirmation, ineptly, pressing his lips into a thin line. "They...they're not always friendly."
"Oh? They aren't?" Chuuya raises his eyebrows in confusion.
Dazai shakes his head. "Not really," he answers simply. Dazai's stomach tightens as his mind wanders back to those wretched events but even then he continues talking, his voice now a low whisper only loud enough for Chuuya to hear. “The mafia used to have dogs. They still do. The most vicious of beasts that were always ravening. They'd attack anything and anyone they saw as weak and were so difficult to train but they obeyed the boss's orders and anyone they deemed worthy."
"And?" Chuuya prompts, curiosity evident in his tone, making him want to continue hearing more about those cruel and horrible days.
"And sometimes as a form of taming the dogs, Mori would starve them for days or maybe weeks. Then he'd throw some subordinate who'd messed up in the dog pen as a form of punishment. No one ever lived and if they did they were never entirely unscathed," Dazai's gaze drops to his hands. He can almost remember those dreadful days vividly, can practically smell the rotten blood and clamped flesh in his nostrils when he recalls the stench of thick blood that coated his hands when he suppressed every single ounce of flailing flesh that threatened to fall off his own skin from those monstrous creatures that ravished him relentlessly.
"Mori hadn't fed them for days so of course they were famished. Sometimes he'd throw me into their cell as punishment," Dazai finishes quietly, his voice dropping lower. There was no point in continuing. Dazai didn't have anything more to add.
"How many times?"
Dazai hesitates but finds that his tongue doesn't seem to cooperate with his brain. His voice comes out quiet and muffled. "I don't remember. Too much to count."
Chuuya lets out an unimpressed scoff and turns around in a huff. He couldn't deal with this right now, and Dazai definitely wouldn't listen to what he had to say anyway.
"Chuuya?" Dazai calls after him worriedly. Was Chuuya going to leave? Why was Chuuya leaving? Did he do something wrong?
"Come here!" Chuuya called out and grabbed hold of Dazai's sleeve. He didn't look back as he tugged Dazai behind him, pulling the other into his room as quickly as he possibly could.
Dazai was startled by the sudden change in scenery and stumbled forward, his balance nearly thrown off. “Wha-”
"Just shut up, shitty Dazai," Chuuya interrupted Dazai before closing the door and locking it. He pushed Dazai onto his bed, sitting on top of him.
"What are you doing?" The brunette raised an eye in scepticism, staring up at Chuuya.
"Shutting you up," Chuuya growls lowly and grabs a hold of Dazai's collar, yanking him closer with one strong movement until their lips collide in one hard collision.
Dazai immediately froze under Chuuya's force, his breath hitched as he stared up at the redhead in shock. Dazai looked dazed; almost confused. He was shocked that Chuuya had actually kissed him.
But it was too soon- too fast. The world felt like it was spinning. His heart was racing and his cheeks flushed, a light shade of pink painting his features.
"What-" Dazai began as he struggled against Chuuya, who was pushing at the taller man with all his strength. "What's gotten into you. Why are you kissing me so suddenly?" Dazai blinks in utter confusion at Chuuya. None of this made sense. It all came out of nowhere. What was happening? Was this real?
"I told you, I'm done waiting. Now kiss me!" Chuuya demands angrily as he pushes Dazai against the bed. Dazai stutters out a gasp as he hits the mattress harshly, his breath knocked out of him. And then it all suddenly clicked. This was Chuuya's way of distracting Dazai. Of cheering Dazai up and taking his mind off reliving those awful memories.
"How thoughtful of you that you're doing all this to distract me," Dazai smirks up at his partner, who sat straddling the detective's waist, smugly reaching his hand up to stroke Chuuya's fiery ginger hair out of the way so he could cup the mafioso's cheeks.
"Don't fucking try me, you idiot," Chuuya snarls at the younger man, leaning downwards, and capturing Dazai's lips once more. And this time Dazai didn't hesitate. He kisses Chuuya back and moves his hands so that they rest comfortably on Chuuya’s shoulders.
His fingers curl gently into the soft fabric of Chuuya's sweater while his thumb strokes softly against the soft skin on Chuuya's neck, feeling the warmth radiating off of the older man as they kiss fervently, hungrily.
This isn't how they usually started things. Dazai was the one who usually topped. He wasn't used to being taken care of or not being in control. The urge to turn the tides was tempting enough for Dazai to give in as he pushed back against Chuuya and flipped them over, now pinning the redhead under him as their mouths continued to feverishly move against each other. Now this was more Dazai's taste.
Dazai groans as he pulls away slightly, looking down at Chuuya. "We should probably stop now. I mean we've got company," Dazai points out. Chuuya looks up at Dazai blankly for a few seconds before registering the pup that was still in Chuuya's room who had been silently staring at them the entire time with wide eyes.
"Shit…" Chuuya mutters under his breath as he pushes Dazai off him, who sits up next to him on the bed and pouts. Chuuya walks over to the pup and picks it up, gently stroking and cradling the traumatised creature for what it had witnessed. It could have been worse but at least the dog hadn't witnessed too much.
Dazai watches the redhead in silence for a few seconds before turning his attention to the puppy in Chuuya's arms, watching with curious brown eyes as Chuuya caresses the pup’s ears with his free hand while his other hand rests gently over its muzzle, petting it.
"Hey, Chuuya,"
"Yes?" Chuuya answers distractedly, still stroking the pup’s fur.
"Make sure to keep the thing away from me," Dazai said as he warily watched how Chuuya handled the pup. The pup may have seemed harmless but Dazai couldn't trust it just yet, especially with his experience of being attacked by dogs numerous times in the past.
Chuuya frowns slightly at the thought, turning his face towards Dazai. His brows crease together as he stares at Dazai. "What do you mean?"
"Just make sure it stays away," Dazai repeats himself calmly.
"…You think it'll attack?" Chuuya raises an eyebrow.
"Maybe…" Dazai wasn't necessarily willing to admit to something that he may sound embarrassingly ridiculous for suggesting that a small dog that looked as dumb as the pup could be dangerous but Dazai did believe it. Blame his trauma for generalising his experience of dogs with all of them, if you must.
Chuuya sighs heavily as he sets the puppy back down on the floor and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Fine. I won't let it touch you."
He's aware of just how much of an asshole he can get to be but sometimes there were moments where he found it easier to push that aside. And Chuuya couldn't blame Dazai for being such a pick when he had a genuine reason for once and wasn't just baselessly complaining.
Dazai nods gratefully and watches the dog play with a random cloth it had found. "Are you going to get rid of the dog or does this mean I'm moving out of your apartment then?" Dazai hums. Chuuya had picked this pup off the streets so it wasn't like he'd adopted it yet. Technically the pup was still a stray.
"No, you aren't getting out of my place," Chuuya grunts as he continues to rub his temple irritably. As much as Dazai infuriated Chuuya at times, Chuuya wasn't going to ever fully kick Dazai out. He'd like it if his partner remained here with him, preferably where he could keep an eye on the bandage wasting freak.
"I thought you'd never ask," Dazai smiles cheekily. He would stay with Chuuya forever if it meant staying near Chuuya but he wasn't going to stay if Chuuya was going to have a dog. "I'm not staying if you're keeping the dog."
"Oh yeah? Are you going to leave me then?!" Chuuya scowls and glared up at Dazai who only grinned at him mischievously back. Dazai knew that he could easily walk out anytime he wanted so he didn't really need any incentive.
"No. But I'll be forced to if you decide to keep the dog," Dazai remarks. "If that thing so much as touches me, I won't be able to help myself."
"Fucking fine! Whatever," Chuuya huffs and crosses his arms across his chest, pouting childishly before his expression turns into a solemn one. "It's not like I can give it a great life anyways what with my line of work," Chuuya laughs a little forcibly. Dazai smiles sympathetically and rubs Chuuya's back in an attempt to comfort him.
"I'll drop it off at the pound tomorrow," Chuuya says dryly. "If they don't have space then I'll find someone else to take care of it."
"Good idea," Dazai agrees cheerfully. "Now you've gotta stop worrying about it because I want nothing more than to cuddle you right now, Chibi."
"Yeah right," Chuuya rolls his eyes. He doesn't believe Dazai for a second.
Chuuya sighs happily when he finally lays back down in the bed beside Dazai who has already shifted over to his side. There was no question whether they'd be sleeping together tonight. They needed some peace and quiet after everything they had gone through today. Letting their bodies curl tightly around each other. Both content with the peaceful silence and peace, neither spoke. Not a single word except for the warm comfort that settled over them like a routine. It was moments like these between them that was just another of the many examples to show their care for each other. Words were never their forte, after all.
And as they held each other close in their sleep, they both failed to notice the soft bundle of fur curled to their feet and snoozing comfortably alongside them.