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The cool breeze floated into Hyacinth’s window as she found herself staring at her ceiling, unable to sleep. Anthony had announced his engagement to Miss Sharma at supper, and she did not know why it was affecting her so. Exasperated, she put on her slippers and sneaked down for a glass of warm milk (a privilege that she, unlike her siblings, did have, in lieu of understanding the working of a stove.)
As she padded away from the kitchen with her milk and back into her room, she noticed the candlelight still spilling out of her brother’s study. For reasons she did not bother to examine, she went towards it. She knew she was risking a scolding, but anyone with eyes could see the circles under Anthony’s eyes and in Hyacinth’s opinion, he deserved to be taken care of and put to bed too, just like he did for her.
She knocked on the door, and after a slight pause, heard her brother’s voice, ever so softly, say, “Come in.”
The moment she stepped into the room, it was clear that it was not her that Anthony expected to see, but nevertheless,she went up to him, setting her glass on his desk. She put her hands to her hips, as her brother himself often did, and mustered up as stern of a tone as she could. “Brother, do you realise what time it is? How can you still be working?”
With the soft smile she knew was only reserved for her, Anthony asked, “I am quite aware of the time, Hy, which is why I ask, why are you awake?”
Ah. It only made sense for him to be asking that. Meekly, she whispered that she could not sleep. Anthony beckoned her onto his lap. She curled up into his chest, as she had done when she was ever so little.
“What is the matter, dearest?”. Hyacinth did not like the burn of her eyes at his words.
“You are getting married. To Miss Sharma.” Oh dear, was that a sniffle? She did not mean to cry. She was, as her governess said, a young lady now. Young ladies did not sniffle in their brother’s laps. But Anthony did not seem to mind. He merely hummed, and the vibration of his chest against her cheek was just as soothing as she remembered.
“Do you not like Miss Sharma? I thought the two of you were becoming friends.” Anthony asked, worry in his voice. He pressed a kiss to her temple, and her eyes betrayed her by letting a tear fall.
Suddenly, it was ever so clear to her why she was so apprehensive of his marriage.
“No, Anthony! I love Kate. She is wonderful, and I know she loves you. I could not like her more if I tried.” No, Kate was good. “It is just that, well. You love her too. And what if,”, she averted her eyes from Anthony’s, brow furrowing, “what if you love her so much that you forget about us? About me?”
Anthony swore his heart broke right in that moment. He wrapped her up in his arms as tightly as he possibly could, and he pretended not to notice the hot tears soaking his collar, for he knew Hyacinth did not like crying. “Oh, dearest, why ever would you think that? I do love Kate, but you are my world. I could never forget about you.”
He let her sob into his shoulder. “But my friend Emilia said that when her brother got married he sent her and her mother away, to a house she had never seen, and he hardly even came to visit.”
Anthony then looked at her, this sweet little girl who was his daughter as much as his sister, and yet again his heart broke. How could she think he would do that to her? “Darling girl, you will stay in this house, always. You are a Bridgerton, and nothing will change that. You are the light of my life, sweetheart. You could not do anything to lessen my love for you.” As Hyacinth’s sobs came to a halt, she looked up at him through teary lashes.
“Really?”
“Really.”
She rested her head against his collarbone. With a sleepy smile, she whispered, “Well, then I am happy for you. You always seem more like yourself around her.”
“Whatever do you mean?” “You laugh a lot. I like your laugh when you’re around her. And you are not so… uptight.”
Anthony gasped. “Uptight? Oh, how you wound me, Hy!”
She giggled, flailing in his lap, and his heart clenched at how much she had grown. She was becoming such a proper young lady, just a head short of Francesca, and it gave him so much joy that regardless of that, she was still his little girl. Still liked being held in his arms and getting kisses peppered into her hair. He wanted to savour this as much as he could, before she grew up and chastised him like the rest of their siblings. Before she did not need him anymore. Before… before no one needed him anymore.
Hyacinth hummed, shaking him out of his sudden melancholy. “You truly are the best big brother.”, she uttered before she snuggled against him and promptly fell asleep. Smiling, he carried her up to her room and as he began to tuck her in, she beseeched him to stay in such a pitiful voice that he could not bear to deny her.
When morning came, and Violet came to wake Hyacinth, she saw her and Anthony sleeping peacefully in her bed, Hyacinth’s favourite storybook lying near one of Anthony’s arms, Hyacinth curled up against the other. She wished she could preserve this moment forever somehow, her oldest and her youngest, with so much love between them. In that moment, however, all she could do was leave quietly.
And if she let a few tears slip as she went, that was nobody’s business at all.