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Phoenix wanted to cry.
He wanted to run away as fast as he could and never look back.
The pain he was feeling right now was truly excruciating, and it felt like his whole world had been flipped on its head.
Currently, the love of his life, Miles Edgeworth, was yelling at him as the dark-haired man yelled back in equal rage.
Phoenix's chest tightened, a storm of emotions raging within him. The words exchanged between them were like wires, each one cutting deeper than the last. But beneath the anger, beneath the heated argument, lay a tangle of unresolved feelings, aching to be acknowledged.
He wanted to cry, to let the torrent of emotions wash away the frustration, the hurt, the longing that had been buried for so long. Yet, tears felt like a surrender, a vulnerability he couldn't afford in this heated moment.
The love of his life stood before him, their connection crackling with the intensity of conflicting emotions. Miles Edgeworth, the one who left, the one he couldn't forget. Their clash felt like the collision of two forces, neither willing to yield.
Phoenix's heart ached with the weight of unspoken words. Words of longing, of regret, of the unspoken 'what ifs' that lingered between them like an unbridgeable chasm.
In the midst of the argument, a part of Phoenix yearned to escape, to run away from the pain that seemed insurmountable. But he couldn't run from the truth, from the unresolved feelings that had festered for years.
Their voices rose, echoes of passion and unresolved tension filling the room. And yet, beneath the anger, there lingered a fragile thread of something deeper, something neither dared to confront.
As the argument escalated, Phoenix felt the ache in his chest intensify, the turmoil threatening to consume him. But amid the chaos, a whispered plea echoed within him, a desperate wish to bridge the chasm between them, to lay bare the feelings they both harboured.
But for now, all that echoed through the room were raised voices, the unsaid words bouncing off the walls, leaving a painful silence in their wake.
"Phoenix! You cannot keep living like this! You need to think about Trucy and her future!" Miles yelled.
"I am trying my best! You don't know how hard it is to take care of a child and also take care of yourself!"
"I might not know, but that is why I'm here! I want to help you to the best of my ability!"
"Oh, so you're here to save the disgraced and disbarred attorney, is that right? Because I am so pathetic and someone unable to take care of himself and his child!? Because I am a failure to everyone around me, and I am nothing!" Phoenix screamed. He was speaking so fast and wasn't even sure if his words were coherent.
Miles clenched his fists, attempting to maintain his composure. "Phoenix, this is not about you being a failure. I am genuinely concerned for both you and Trucy. I've seen the toll this is taking on you, and I can't stand by and watch you spiral further. Please… allow me to help you."
Phoenix shot him a bitter look, his eyes reflecting a mix of frustration and desperation. He wants to reach out, and he does. But he can't. He can't admit defeat and admit that he's struggling.
"You think you can just swoop in and fix everything, Miles? What do you even know about raising a child? You have no idea what I'm going through!"
"I may not have experience with parenting, but I do know about facing hardships. I've seen you overcome countless obstacles in the courtroom. This is no different. You don't have to face it alone," Miles took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully, "Please… Phoenix. I care about you."
"It's easy for you to say. You always have everything together, Edgeworth. You never make mistakes. The all-perfect Miles Edgeworth." Phoenix scoffed, pacing around the room.
"That's where you're wrong. I've made plenty of mistakes, and I've learned from them. But you're not giving yourself a chance to learn and grow. Trucy deserves better, and so do you," Miles spoke, his tone softening.
The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of their words hanging in the air. Phoenix looked away, his shoulders slumped. He was tired, so very tired and he had no idea what to do with himself.
There were days he didn't want to get out of bed. Days where he just wanted the pain to end. For the voices mocking and haunting him to just go away and leave him be. The only reason he got up in the mornings was for his daughter. His sweet girl deserved better than a lazy good for nothing, evidence forging a father such as him.
As Miles continued to talk, Phoenix's mind spiralled into a whirlwind of self-doubt. The other man's concern only fueled the nagging feeling that he was indeed a failure, a burden on everyone around him.
Am I really worth helping? Phoenix thought, his inner voice echoing with doubt. Trucy deserves someone better, someone who can provide her stability and a brighter future. He couldn't shake off the conviction that he was dragging his daughter down with him, drowning in a sea of mistakes and regrets.
The weight on his shoulders seemed unbearable, each word from Miles digging deeper into the wounds of inadequacy. Miles truly was only trying to help him, but Phoenix couldn't help but take it personally. The echoes of his own harsh self-criticism resounded louder than ever.
Maybe the voices in his head were right. Maybe he was beyond saving, destined to be a washed-up attorney, a disappointment to those who once believed in him and those who still are holding out faith that he will prevail from this nightmare he calls his life.
Phoenix's gaze remained fixed on the floor, his thoughts a tangled mess. The room felt suffocating, closing in on him as if it were a tangible manifestation of his perceived failures. The idea of accepting help felt foreign, almost undeserved. His chest felt heavy, his head ached, and his eyes felt as though they were filling up with tears.
"Phoenix, I care so much about you. You have helped me through so much, you are the reason I am the person I am today. I just want to be able to do the same for you. I want to do whatever I can to make this less-than-ideal situation feel less… lonely and isolating," Miles stated as he took the beanie-wearing man's hand in his.
Phoenix felt the warmth of Miles' hand in his, a stark contrast to the coldness he perceived within himself. His tear-filled eyes met Miles', searching for answers to the unspoken questions that lingered in his mind.
"Why is he so insistent on helping?" Phoenix wondered his thoughts a jumble of confusion. The sincerity in Miles' words tugged at the tightly wound strings of Phoenix's heart, threatening to unravel the walls he had built to shield himself from vulnerability.
For a moment, the room seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them locked in a silent exchange of emotions. Miles' genuine concern chipped away at Phoenix's self-imposed isolation, making him question the walls he had constructed around his wounded heart.
"I don't deserve this," Phoenix mumbled, his voice barely audible, as if confessing a secret to himself. The idea of being cared for, of having someone by his side through the storm of his struggles, felt both foreign and overwhelming.
He was angry at himself for not being strong enough to take care of his mental health and his child. He hates that he isn't well. Before Phoenix could spiral again, Miles squeezed Phoenix's hand gently, offering a small, understanding smile.
"You're not alone in this, Phoenix. Let me help carry some of the burdens you are feeling. Let me into these walls you've created. You don't have to face everything by yourself," Miles softly spoke to him, his attitude and love unwavering.
As the weight of Miles' words sank in, Phoenix wrestled with the vulnerability of accepting help, unsure if he could allow himself to lean on someone else. The room held a fragile stillness, a moment frozen in time where Phoenix grappled with the conflicting emotions tearing at his wounded soul.
"I'm scared of burdening you," Phoenix admitted, his hands covering his face in a mix of vulnerability and shame. "I can't shake the feeling that I'm just using you for the resources I desperately need. What if you think less of me and believe I'm only sticking around to take advantage of your kindness?"
Miles, quick to reassure, responded, "Phoenix, I would never think that way. I want you to lean on me, to ask for help when you need it. I understand it's difficult, but I'm here to be patient and support you through all of this." He rushed to Phoenix's side, holding him in a comforting embrace, a gesture meant to convey the sincerity of his intentions.
They stayed like that for a while. Phoenix didn't know what to say, and Miles wasn't sure if he should keep talking or just let Phoenix cry into his shoulder. The room was quiet, except for Phoenix's muffled sobs. Miles held him tighter, trying to convey that he was there for support without needing to say anything. They shared a moment of quiet comfort, Miles waiting patiently, ready to offer words of encouragement when Phoenix was ready to talk. Sometimes, just being there was enough.
Phoenix was the one to finally break the silence after he had exhausted himself with tears.
"Why did you decide to come back now, of all times? You were absent for a significant chunk of time when I first got disbarred. I thought that was the end of our relationship," Phoenix chuckled, though it lacked humour and carried more of an uneasy tone. He didn't understand why he was bringing it up now or what it would achieve.
Miles looked at Phoenix, his expression softened with understanding. He took a moment before responding, choosing his words carefully.
"I didn't leave on purpose, I promise. Urgent matters came up, and I was instructed to leave for Germany. I wasn't trying to stay away on purpose and anytime I had the chance to call you and check in, I was swept away by work once more. But when I finally got the chance to talk to you, I realized how much you were struggling. And seeing you struggle, especially after Trucy came into your life, made me realize that I couldn't stay away any longer," Miles explained, his gaze sincere.
Phoenix listened, absorbing the words and trying to make sense of the conflicting emotions swirling within him. The past wounds were still tender, but a glimmer of hope began to emerge as Miles continued.
"I've always cared about you, Phoenix, and I want to be here for you. Not just during the good times but also when life gets tough. I want to be a support, not an added burden. That's why I came back," Miles affirmed, his hand gently resting on Phoenix's shoulder.
In the silence that followed, the air held a mixture of vulnerability and tentative optimism. The unspoken understanding between them seemed to bridge the gap, opening a door to a shared journey of healing.
Then, out of nowhere, Phoenix uttered a revelation that shattered the silence. "I would've married you, if you'd have stuck around."
The words hung in the air, and neither man dared to meet the other's gaze. The admission lingered, creating a poignant moment of reflection.
"Oh, Phoenix. My dearest, Phoenix," Miles murmured, his voice soft with a blend of regret and affection. The unspoken history between them became a palpable presence in the room. It was clear they were more than just friends but he never expected the man beside him to blatantly say that out loud.
Phoenix, standing but seemingly rooted to the spot, broke the silence with an apology.
"I'm sorry. I... I really don't know why I said that; it just felt right in the moment," he stammered, his eyes searching for understanding in Miles' gaze.
Miles, his expression a mix of surprise and empathy, also got up and took a step closer to Phoenix. Phoenix instinctively took a step backwards, scared that Miles was mad at him or worse didn't feel the same way.
"You don't need to apologize, Phoenix. It's okay," he reassured, his hand reaching out to gently caress Phoenix's face. "Sometimes, the heart speaks before the mind can catch up."
The room held a delicate tension, but at that moment, there faces and body language showcased that something significant had shifted. A question lingered in the air, unspoken yet palpable.
"Do you…" Phoenix began tentatively.
"Yes, Phoenix. I also feel the same way," Miles replied, a warm smile spreading across his face. Phoenix's heart fluttered, the acknowledgment of their shared emotions creating a sense of exhilaration.
Miles, guided by the newfound understanding between them, pulled Phoenix in by his waist. Their faces were mere inches apart, the unspoken connection now a tangible force in the room.
"Can I kiss you?" Miles asked, his grey eyes searching Phoenix's for consent.
"I would love nothing more," Phoenix replied, a genuine smile breaking through after all the crying and self-doubt he's been feeling these past months.
As their lips met, the delicate tension in the room transformed into a moment of shared vulnerability and pure bliss.