Archive of Our Own ^beta

  It all started with Ena. 

  Well, in hindsight, whatever happened afterwards wasn't exactly her fault, but she was his sister, so Akito placed the blame on her anyway. 

  It was Ena who barged into his room unannounced on Sunday night when he was getting ready to go to bed, showing him various pictures on SNS and gushing about how cute the interior design of the cafe looked, how even the food looked adorable too, and hey we should try it out together one day. Afterwards she started lamenting how it was only open on weekdays from 2 to 11pm and how she wasn't free at those timings.

  Akito, tired of her spiel, pushed her out of his room and locked the door for good measure, yelling at her with half a mind to just text him the address. 

  It was Akito himself who remembered Ena’s words the next day after practising in SEKAI, checking his messages and pleasantly finding that the address Ena had sent him was not too far from his or Touya’s house, as it was located in Kamiyama district. 

  He was the one who turned to Touya then, outside Meiko’s cafe, and asked, “Hey Touya, wanna go to a cafe with me? It's near your house.”

  Touya blinked. “Oh…why?”

  “I'm feeling slightly hungry,” Akito shrugged noncommittally. “If you want to practise alone, that's fine, I can go on my own.”

  An alarmed look crossed Touya’s face at that. “No, I'd rather go with you.”

  Akito coughed into his fist to cover the way his chest constricted at his partner’s words. “So, meet you at Kamiyama in 15?”

  At Touya’s nod, he hit pause on ‘Ready Steady’ and closed his eyes, the familiar feeling of being transported back to the real world washing over him.

  Back in his room, he switched his slightly damp-from-sweat shirt for a fresh one before hurriedly making his way to the pre-arranged meeting spot. 

  He spotted Touya already waiting there under a streetlamp and waved, jogging over. “Sorry it's pretty late. Did you have trouble leaving the house?”

  “No, my father is away on a business trip. He won't be back for another few days,” Touya shook his head as they made their way to the cafe. Akito let out a breath, relieved. He didn't want Touya to get in trouble because of him. 

  Soon, they stopped in front of a shop. Its signboard read ‘Pancakes&Coffee’ in an elaborate font. “This is the one,” Akito said after checking his phone for confirmation. Touya pushed the door open, the bell above jingling, and they walked in. Akito didn't understand what Ena found cute about it, but the design was neat. There were a few rows of tables to the left and the walls were painted a light shade of blue, with a few paintings hung on the walls and items on display on shelves. The cafe wasn’t comforting like WEEKEND GARAGE or CRASE cafe, instead emitting a sense of calm. Akito’s eyes moved to stare at Touya, who was already at the counter looking at the menu. He fits right in.  

  “Akito?” Touya turned back and called softly. Akito flushed, realising he had been standing there blankly the entire time. He caught up quickly, eyes flitting across the menu as he looked from behind Touya’s shoulder, pretending to be deciding on what to get, even though he already knew his order from the moment Ena showed him the pictures on her phone.

  He wanted to hear Touya’s opinion though, so he asked, “Touya, what are you getting?” even though he already knew he was going to get coffee. Of course that's exactly what he ordered.

  Akito ordered his pancakes which happened to have the most ridiculous name ever, trying not to grimace. 

  “Do you want those on the same tab?” the cashier asked, head tilted slightly. 

  “Separate-” Akito hadn't even finished his sentence before he was interrupted by Touya. 

  “I'll pay for the both of us.” 

  Akito’s head whipped towards him so fast he nearly got whiplash, forehead crinkled. What? He opened his mouth to argue, reaching out to grab his hand, until his eye caught the glint of the card currently between Touya’s fingers. He stilled. He didn't recognise that card.

  “It's my father’s,” Touya shrugged in a way of explanation, which Akito knew was for him and not the cashier, confirming his suspicion.

  Akito lowered his hand and motioned for the cashier to proceed. Touya paid, thankfully with no other questions asked.

  As they sat down at a random table by the glass wall, Akito grumbled, “I'm paying the next time.” 

  Touya let out a quiet, breathy laugh that sounded like the passing wind, and why did Akito’s chest feel tight again? He should probably get that checked. “Akito, you don't have to. I'm using my father’s money anyway.”

  “How did you even get your hands on his credit card?” Akito managed to get out, able to breathe properly again. 

  “That's classified information,” Touya said smoothly, smiling serenely.

  “Fine, don't tell me,” Akito rolled his eyes at his partner's words.

  The cashier from before arrived with their order, placing it down in front of them. In real life, the stack of pancakes looked even better than the pictures Ena had shown him: thick, golden liquid honey syrup running down the sides, topped with two halves of a sliced strawberry and some whipped cream, as well as dusted with icing sugar as a final touch. In other words, it looked like the perfect plate of pancakes. Hopefully it tasted perfect too.

  The cashier said something about the cafe's closing hours which Akito only vaguely registered, too preoccupied with imagining what his pancakes would taste like. Finally, they were left to enjoy their food in peace. Akito picked up his fork and knife, cutting off a chunk of his pancakes and taking a huge first bite. His eyes widened. The pancakes were so soft they practically melted on his tongue, and the syrup was just the right amount of sweet. He took another bite, this time chewing more slowly. Kaito still made them better though. 

  Akito looked up, freezing like a deer caught in the headlights, suddenly remembering that Touya was with him. “How are the pancakes?” Touya asked him, voice close to a whisper. 

  Akito hummed, swallowing his current mouthful. “They're good, but not the best I have eaten.” 

  Touya didn't say anything in reply, choosing to take a sip of his coffee. Akito went back to savouring each bite of his pancakes. Soon, his plate was clean and Touya’s cup was drained. 

  Touya jerked his head towards the door. “Let's go home, partner.”

  The night air had turned chilly as they walked together back to scramble crossing. Akito noticed that Touya was shivering slightly from the breeze, rubbing his arms with his hands to generate heat. “Did you seriously come out without a jacket?” Huffing, Akito shrugged off his own jacket and draped it over Touya’s shoulders. 

  “Akito? What about you?” Despite his protests, Touya still pulled the jacket tighter around himself.

  Akito waved his concern away. “Don’t worry about me, I don't get cold easily. You can return the jacket to me tomorrow.” Still, seeing Touya in his jacket made him feel an odd sense of protectiveness rise from within him. It’s…nice.

  They reached the crossroad then, effectively preventing him from saying something stupid like “you should wear my clothes more often”. “Thanks for coming with me, partner,” Akito said instead, reaching out to ruffle his partner’s hair.

  Touya let him do as he pleased for a few seconds before he pulled away with a soft smile. “Goodnight, Akito. See you tomorrow.”

  “See you tomorrow,” he echoed.

  Akito struck his ending pose for Kashika, holding it still even though his chest was heaving, desperately gasping for air. The choreography for Kashika wasn't as intense as some other songs, and it had been a while since he had problems with breath regulation, but having to sing for almost the entire song still took its toll. He collapsed onto the floor of the studio, groaning. They were doing their first full run for their upcoming event, and clearly, he still had some work to do before they were considered ready. 

  Someone pressed a cool bottle on his cheek, the sensation making him flinch a little. His eyes flickered up to see Touya looking down at him. “Drink up,” he ordered.

  Akito complied. He chugged half the bottle right there and then, feeling much more refreshed afterwards.

  An bounded towards them with Azusawa in tow. “Great work today, guys! I think we’ll have to change the order of our songs, but other than that we’re probably good to go,” she said, chipper as ever. “We should stop here for today, see you two tomorrow!”

  Azusawa waved at the two of them before following An out. Touya waved back before settling down cross-legged on the floor beside him. 

  “Why are they in such a rush?” Akito shook his head in exasperation.

  The question was a rhetorical one, but Touya answered anyway. “Maybe they're going on a date since it's still early. Are you going to go home now, Akito?”

  Akito thought of his currently empty home. “Let’s stay here a little bit longer.”

  “Shall we practise our solo song?” Touya tossed him a mic, which he caught languidly. 

  By the time they finished their second round of practice, it was already the same time as when they ended their usual group practice. Sweat that dripped into his eyes blurred Akito’s vision, but he could see Touya’s grin matching the one on his own face. He wiped at his face with a towel, trying to catch his breath for the second time today. In his mind, an image of a stack of pancakes resurfaced, unprompted. He immediately turned to Touya.

  “Touya, do you want to go to that cafe again?” 

  “You just want to eat the pancakes again don't you,'' Touya deadpanned.

  Ulterior motive exposed, Akito smiled sheepishly. “Yes…?”

  “Fine, let’s go, it's late,” Touya relented, holding the door open for him, motioning him to leave. 

  Akito slung his bag over his shoulder. “You really are the best, Touya.”

  They were seated at the same table in Pancakes&Coffee as before. Akito thought back to their practice and the way Touya sang, his voice clear yet laced with emotion. “You were amazing today, Touya,” he commented. He stretched back in his seat, feeling a part of his shoulder crack into place in a satisfying manner.

  Touya raised an eyebrow, face dusted pink, saying quietly but firmly, “No more than usual.”

  Akito shook his head in disagreement. “I really think we're close to perfecting that part. You basically aced it today.” With his long-awaited pancakes now in front of him, Akito finally dug in. It tasted as good as he remembered. He chewed and swallowed. “I'll have to work harder to catch up…” he trailed off, mind wandering to his practice schedule. 

  Touya set down his coffee cup with a clink, eyebrows drawn together and lips pulled down into a frown. “Don't overwork yourself, Akito.”

  Akito saw the chance to tease Touya and grabbed it with both hands. He rested his chin on his hand, elbow propped up on the table, grinning slyly at Touya. “Why, you worried about me?”

  Touya merely stared back at him with an impassive face. “You're my partner, Akito. You're important to me. Of course I'm worried about you.”

  Well, that wasn't the reply he was expecting. Akito felt his face start to burn, rapidly turning a dark shade of red. His plan backfiring spectacularly, he hid his face in his hands and mumbled inaudibly, “Yeah, yeah, whatever dude.” He shoved the rest of his pancakes in his mouth, willing his face to cool down already. Touya drank his coffee calmly. It was at times like this Akito hated his friend’s tendency to say embarrassing lines with a totally blank face.

  Akito really didn't know what was going on with himself.

  At school, Akito never ate lunch alone. He was always with Touya and sometimes An, either in the classroom or at the cafeteria. It was basically routine at this point, so much so that Touya's classmates expected him to appear in 1-B everyday.

  The bell rang. He shuffled out of the classroom along with his classmates, swinging by the school cafeteria first, before climbing up a flight of stairs to reach Touya’s classroom, unceremoniously shoving the door open.

  He dropped the plastic bag he was carrying on Touya’s table. Touya looked up from the notebook he was writing on, head cocked to one side. “Where’s Shiraishi?”

  “With Akiyama,” Akito replied, dragging an empty chair closer to Touya’s table and making himself comfortable. He reached into the plastic bag, pulling out a sandwich and unwrapping the plastic covering. He looked at Touya, who had resumed writing, always the studious one. He gestured to the plastic bag emphatically. “Dude, stop writing for a second, you need to eat lunch. I bought those good sandwiches that the cafeteria only sells once a week. They are way too overpriced so you better not waste my money.”

  At that, Touya obliged, reaching into the plastic bag to take a sandwich for himself. He ate with the sandwich in one hand, the other holding his pen as he continued to write. Akito sighed loudly and scooted closer to Touya to peek at his notebook. “What are you even writing?” Akito asked in confusion after trying to make sense of it for an entire minute.

  “I'm copying down notes on the whiteboard. I have to finish it before lunch ends.”

  Akito glanced at the whiteboard, and sure enough, there were words crammed into its every corner. “You could just take a picture?” Akito suggested.

  Touya looked up again, staring at him pointedly, unimpressed. “You and Shiraishi would pester me for my notes later, anyway. Might as well get it done now.”

  Akito winced. That was, sadly, the truth. Both of them wouldn't be able to pass most of their classes without Touya’s help.

  He watched as Touya’s pen scratched on paper, black ink forming his neat, typewriter-like handwriting. Akito’s eyes wandered from the notebook to Touya, who was bent ever so slightly over his notebook, short strands of blue hair untucking from behind his ear and framing the side of his face. Even the way he grasped his pen was, for the lack of a better word, elegant. Akito couldn't believe he never noticed how pretty Touya looked when he was focused, eyes slightly narrowed in concentration as he worked on his notes, even after spending most of his waking hours with him.

  He stopped his train of thought that would have inevitably gone downhill right there, grabbing a second sandwich and stuffing it in his mouth in a desperate attempt to hide his most likely flushed cheeks. 

  Touya set down his pen, massaging his stiff arm muscles which were cramped up from writing for too long. He munched on his half eaten sandwich. “Thanks for the lunch, Akito.”

  “It's not a big deal.” For Touya, anyway. If he did that for, say, An or something, he would expect some form of payment in the near future.

  (But if Touya were to ask him to buy more, he'd have his wallet out before you could say “whipped”.)

  Akito cursed aloud as he kicked at a stray pebble on the pavement. An had just texted in the VBS group chat that she and Azusawa had a date planned for today that she conveniently ‘forgot’ to mention until the end of the school day, so now today’s practice session was called off. He'd expected An to do something like this, but Azusawa too? He thought she was the more responsible one. Then again, maybe An had decided that she wanted to go somewhere with Azusawa at the last minute, but how she managed to convince her girlfriend was another mystery. 

  Touya didn't seem bothered, as he stood before the school’s flower beds and observed the clouds in the sky. “Akito, you don't have soccer practice today, right?”

  “I don't,” he confirmed.

  “Wanna go to the arcade?”

  Akito mulled it over. I guess it's good to take breaks from practising once in a while… He nodded, “Sure.”

  Akito never really enjoyed visiting the arcade. It was loud, the cacophonous noise from various game machines all meshing together hurt his ears, and the bright neon lights were too harsh on his eyes. But if Touya liked the arcade, he would still accompany him when he asked. 

  Today, Touya dragged him over to the row of Dance Dance Revolution consoles, setting his bag down beside the dance platform, which was thankfully not already in use. Akito did the same. “DDR? Seriously, how old-fashioned can you get, Touya?” Akito mocked, amusement evident in his tone.

  “I just thought that since we aren’t practising today we can play this as a substitute. Besides, isn't it fun to compete and see who has the higher score?” Touya said, face inscrutable but a challenging lilt to his voice.

  A sharp grin formed on Akito’s face. He loosened his tie and shrugged off his blazer, making a show of rolling his shoulders. “Oh, game’s on, partner.”

  They started off immediately with Maniac level, the easier ones being child’s play to them. Both of them threw their entire body into their dance, the flashy movements more natural instead of just awkwardly stomping on the arrows. 

  By the time they finished their fourth song, a small crowd had gathered to watch them play, just like when they performed on the streets. Akito thanked them and they clapped politely before dispersing, going back to their own gaming consoles. 

  It turned out to be a good workout, even though neither of them got all perfects, they did attain the machine’s high scores. As for their competition, both of them had won two rounds each. “I guess it's a tie this time,” Touya pretended to sigh in disappointment as he gathered his things, “I'll crush you for sure next time.”

  Akito felt a flood of warmth, a tingling sensation all over his body at the thought of next time. “We’ll see about that,” he said easily.

  Something else seemed to have caught Touya’s eye, because he was looking in another direction. Akito followed after Touya, who was striding towards the other side of the arcade where the claw machines were located. He stopped in front of a glass case filled with stuffed toy cats of various colours and patterns, studying the layout of the prizes seriously for a few seconds before digging out his wallet from his bag and inserting a few coins into the slot. He expertly manoeuvred the claw using the joystick with some technique Akito didn't know of, and it only took two attempts before he successfully obtained the plush he was aiming for. He fished it out from the prize slot triumphantly, admiring it for a few moments.

  “Here,” said Touya, holding out the plush to Akito. “For you.”

  Akito gaped dumbly, eyes flicking from Touya to the cat plush, his heart fluttering traitorously. “What?”

  Touya tugged on his arm, forcing him to unclench his hand. Touya gingerly sat the plush on his palm. Akito inspected it, an adorable black cat with blue eyes, which happened to remind him a lot of Touya. His eyes flicked back to the claw machine. 

  “Hold it,” Akito shoved the plush back into Touya’s hands, olive eyes alight with determination as he inserted his own coins into the machine. 

  Having poor depth perception and with zero experience in prize games, Akito had trouble controlling the joystick and the claw closed over thin air. Face twisted into a scowl, he pushed more coins into the slot to try again. Touya watched, alarm visibly mounting. After another five tries, he finally caught his target — an orange tabby cat plush with green eyes. 

  Satisfied, Akito gently traded it with the black one Touya was holding. “For you, in return for this one,” he swallowed, heart thundering out a staccato beat against his chest as he waved the black cat a little. 

  “Akito…” Touya smiled down at the plush clutched to his chest, the kind of smile that made his eyes crinkle a little at the edges. “You didn't have to.”

  “I wanted to. But you're seriously really good at these kinds of prize games, Touya. I swear these things are rigged to hell and back,” Akito complained.

  Touya chuckled, “There are tricks to it.”

  “Maybe you can teach me, next time.”

  Akito left the arcade with a much lighter wallet, but with an additional cat plush sitting snugly in his bag. The trade was very much worth it.

  Later, they ended up at their usual park. Touya handed him a drink from the nearby vending machine, taking a seat next to him on the bench. “Thanks,” Akito said automatically, opening the soda can with one hand. 

  They sipped at their drinks, watching the sun dip below the horizon, bathing the world in an orange glow. Akito looked away from the scenery to steal a glance at Touya. To his surprise, Touya’s attention was elsewhere. Akito followed the direction of his gaze to see the park’s basketball court. 

  Akito stood up abruptly, brushing off invisible dust on his pants. “Touya, wanna play basketball? I'll show you how to play.”

  Touya jerked his head to stare at him for a long moment. “You play basketball? I thought it was just soccer.”

  “Ah,” Akito said sagely, scratching the back of his head, “I played a little in middle school. So did An, actually.”

  “I never knew,” Touya blinked slowly. “It's nice knowing these things about you.”

  To hide his growing embarrassment, Akito went looking for a stray basketball they could play with, walking around the court aimlessly. “There should be one around here somewhere…” he mumbled to himself. Sure enough, he spotted one near a bush. 

  He picked it up, giving it an experimental bounce, feeling it smack satisfyingly against his palm. “Touya, catch!” he yelled, giving him a heads up as he threw the ball over. Touya fumbled but caught it successfully. 

  “Try bouncing the ball repeatedly using your fingertips as points of contact. That's called a dribble.”

  Touya did as instructed without any issues. “You could try moving around while dribbling now.” Touya seemed hesitant, but did so anyway, running around the court as he got used to the basketball’s sensation.

  “Hey, you have pretty good coordination,” Akito praised once Touya stopped in front of him. He dragged his partner to one end of the court, taking back the ball. “I'll show you how to shoot.”

  He walked Touya through the steps as he demonstrated―elbow at a degree, one hand under the ball, the other supporting the side, release and follow through. He made the shot easily, ball sinking in an arc through the hoop. He passed the ball back to Touya.

  Akito admired Touya, decorated in sunset hues, as he tried to follow Akito’s shooting advice. In the fading sunlight, Touya looked absolutely ethereal―sun-gold caught in his silky blue hair, red warmth reflected in grey eyes trained on the basketball hoop, shadows forming on the curves and edges of his arms, turning pale skin a copper shade. His breath caught in his throat, brain running further ahead, imagining Touya waking up in the morning, bleary-eyed, cast in the same colours from the rays of sunrise, smiling down at Akito and—

  “Wow,” the image disappeared, and Akito was terrified for a moment that he had gone crazy and the voice was actually his until his vision came back into focus. It was Touya, watching in awe as the basketball went through the hoop and landed on the ground with a dull thud. Akito was certain his cheeks were a rosy colour, and he was stupid for thinking, even for a moment, that Touya was…was…

  “Oh, uh, good job, that was a nice shot,” Akito cursed himself for stuttering like an idiot.

  They decided to play a one-on-one game now that Touya had gotten a handle on the basics, and Akito forcefully banished all unwelcome thoughts in his brain, shifting his attention to the rhythm of the basketball slamming against the ground while closely tracking Touya’s movements by the shifts in his lean muscles underneath his uniform.

  Touya moved one arm, suddenly, to knock the ball out of his grasp. Akito smirked, swiftly passing the ball behind his back into the clutches of his other hand, pretending to dodge to the left as a feint before sidestepping around Touya from the other side, lofting the ball upwards. His aim was a little off and the ball hit the rim, wobbling for a split second before falling through the hoop, making the three-pointer. 

  Akito clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “You could have plucked that right out of the air.”

  Touya just shrugged, “Perhaps.”

  That was when he felt it. Something dripped onto his arm. Huh, it had gotten dark pretty quickly, hadn't it? Akito slowly raised his head to look at the sky. A very ominous looking black cloud hovered directly above them. Akito shared a look of horror with Touya. “Run!” he shouted.

  It started to pour .

  The rain pelted down on them as they unanimously made a beeline for their bags, then raced to the nearest shelter, which was the park’s pavilion a few metres away. Akito slumped against one of the pillars, using his towel to dry himself off, Touya doing the same.

  “The weather has been really unpredictable lately, hasn't it?” Touya stared off into the rainstorm, the world now dark that the sun had truly set.

  Akito didn't bother formulating a reply, because his eyes were automatically drawn towards Touya’s face like a magnet, hungrily drinking in the image of Touya drenched in rainwater, unable to tear his gaze away.

  Unbidden, memory of Touya’s figure slid back into his mind―not of him waking up in his bed at dawn; this time, he was stepping out fresh from the shower, damp hair slightly ruffled from drying with the towel, some strands plastered to the sides of his face as water rolled down his neck and dripped onto the floor. Most of his body was wrapped securely in a large towel, but there were a few water droplets that still clung onto his pale skin, glistening under the light. He spotted Akito and smiled, raw and unguarded, walking over and―

  Akito gasped, his grip on his towel loosening momentarily, and fortunately he wasn't standing or he would have slipped. He could feel his face burn from down his neck to the very tips of his ears, likely an embarrassing dark scarlet, and he brought a hand up to shield it from Touya’s view, even though the darkness could have masked it well enough. 

  Things started rearranging themselves in his brain, from his own blushing, the way his heart beat erratically only around Touya, to his fantastical daydreams, everything gradually clicked into place. It all made sense now.

  He liked Touya. He had a crush on Touya.

   Oh, hell no.

  Touya, completely not sensing the nuclear meltdown Akito was currently having, said, “The rain slowed down a little. We should go home now.” He retrieved his umbrella from his bag and crouched down to face Akito.

  This time, it was Touya who reached up, carding his long pianist’s fingers through his orange hair, just once, a brief, fond touch. “Thank you for today, Akito.”

  Akito watched him leave, umbrella open to shield himself from the rain, feeling caught somewhere between annoyance and hopefulness together with an unexplainable breathlessness, all the words he wanted to say stuck halfway in his throat. He shut his eyes and took a few steadying breaths, and once his heart turned calm enough, he too opened his umbrella, stepped off the pavilion and began his walk home. 

  After his huge revelation in the rain, Akito did what he knew best—he pretended nothing was wrong. (In reality, nothing actually was wrong, nothing even changed—Touya was still his best friend, his partner. But to Akito, that was everything.) He continued to eat lunch in school with Touya, he went for practice with Touya, he hung out with Touya. Life was the same, except for the fact that his heart rate sped up considerably at every brush of their fingers, and he reached a sense of hyper-awareness of everything Touya did.

  With their next event rapidly approaching, Akito threw himself into training and practice, which provided ample distraction from the tangled mess of his feelings. The instant any of it threatened to surface, he squashed it down with renewed vengeance, like he was stuffing it all into a box, locking it and throwing the key elsewhere.

  He really should have clued in to the warning signs of his poor coping methods.

  The pounding music reverberated throughout Akito’s body, the live house’s harsh stage lights practically blinding him as he and Touya sang the last line together, tapping their feet on tempo with the beat of the song. 

  In a rush of adrenaline, Akito finished up the last part of the choreography for Fragile, body moving on automatic from the countless times he had practised the dance, sliding away from Touya before ducking down, stepping left, right, and left again. The instrumental drew to a close, and he and Touya swung their hands above, fist clenched as their heads snapped sharply to the left all in perfect sync.

   This is the true meaning of life. The crowd exploded into cheers, screaming his name, no, their name over the thunderous applause. The crowd’s reactions had been really enthusiastic in their latest events, and Akito couldn't help the surge of pride that coursed through his body.

  His gaze shifted to Touya on the stage, breathing heavily from the exertion of singing and dancing, and their eyes locked. Touya’s lips curled upwards into a grin, and through his slightly blurry vision the edges seemed to soften, melding together like in a painting and suddenly the stage lights were not so harsh anymore. His heart raced faster than it ever did while he was performing just a minute ago.

  Akito barely registered An and Azusawa rejoining them on the stage to wrap up their performance. Still high off exhilaration, he slung an arm around Touya’s shoulders in what he hoped was a casual action and smoothly pulled him close, their sides pressed together. He leaned towards the mic in An's hands and yelled, “We are Vivid BAD SQUAD! THANK YOU!”

  Akito exited the stage behind An and Azusawa, waving to the cheering audience, arm still looped around Touya’s shoulder. The feeling of a warm breath tickling against his ear sent a bolt of electricity down his spine and he shuddered, letting go of Touya.

  It was just his personal opinion, but Akito always thought that Touya looked the best right after a successful performance, face flushed and slick with sweat, eyes shining with iridescence even backstage where lights were dim, a genuine smile spreading across his face. He was positively radiant, and so, so…

  What Akito didn't know was that when you suppress your feelings for an extended period of time, those feelings you tried so hard to hide will overflow when you least want it to, bursting forth from the box like ocean waves crashing onto the shore during high tide.

  “Touya.” Hearing his name being called with such severity, Touya turned to look at him. Before Akito’s brain-to-mouth filter could kick in, he was already speaking, words tumbling out of his mouth. “You're really beautiful. I love you.”

  Taking in Touya’s bright crimson face, his brain finally processed what he just said. Oh shit, shit. He had to do some damage control now , he had to say something, anything . In his panic, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, voice coming out strangely high-pitched and strangled, “NO! That.. that wasn't what I meant to say! I’m not in love with you, I just…”

  Akito trailed off, because the smile had slipped off Touya’s face now, his expression turning entirely unreadable even though he could usually read him like an open book. Akito floundered. Shit, did he say something wrong? How was he messing up this badly?

  “Akito,” was all Touya said before he reared back a fist and punched him directly in the jaw. Akito stumbled back in shock, pain blooming along the side of his face. It was giving him an awful sense of deja vu. “You're an asshole.” Then Touya bolted , his things clutched to his chest as he darted out through the back door of the live house.

  Every fibre in his being was screaming at him to run after Touya, or you'll lose him forever. But Akito’s feet were rooted firmly to the ground, refusing to move, even though he desperately wanted to chase after him, to apologise, anything so he wouldn't lose his partner. My partner. One of his hands cradled the spot where Touya had punched him, the phantom feeling of his fist leaving it tingling. By the time he could move again, Touya was long gone.

   Fuck.

  “Fuck!” Akito shouted, tears of frustration prickling at his eyes. He slid his back against the wall until he was sitting on the floor. 

  “Hey, what was that noise?” An barged in along with Azusawa, both of them having disappeared to god-knows-where after their performance. An took one look at Akito’s despondent expression and rushed towards him. “Akito, what happened?”

  “Where's Aoyagi-kun?” Azusawa asked innocently, looking around in confusion. Seeing Akito’s face fall even further at her words, An and Azusawa exchanged a worried glance.

  An extended a hand to pull Akito up from the floor. “C’mon, let's get out of here.”

  An led him to a quiet alleyway down the street, where no one could overhear their conversation for more secure privacy. “Spill,” An demanded, her and Azusawa leaning on the wall opposite him. 

  Hesitantly, Akito told them about his crush on Touya, and filled them in on what they had missed after their performance. 

  “You WHAT?” An shrieked. 

  Akito looked at her quizzically. “I told Touya that I loved him, then said that I didn't mean it, then he punched me and ran away,” he repeated, more slowly this time.

  “Oh my god,” An moaned theatrically, dragging her hands down her face. “ Oh my god. ” If she were any more agitated and had any less self control, she probably would be shaking him vigorously by his shoulders. 

  “An-chan,” Azusawa chided gently. “Why did you take back your words, Shinonome-kun?” she asked, ever the rational one. 

  “I don't know. I just…panicked,” Akito despaired, pulling at his hair.

  An muttered to herself, “We need to fix this.” More loudly, she said, “You need to fix this.”

  “How?”

  “Confess, obviously. For real this time.” 

  Akito rolled his eyes. Hypocritical, coming from the person who took literal months to work up the courage to ask out Azusawa, where the confession took a very large, expensive bouquet of flowers, many failed batches of handmade chocolate, a badly written love poem that had to be edited by Touya, and him as the extremely reluctant wingman. 

  “I literally just got rejected,” Akito stated flatly, heart clenching a little at the memory. He had expected it, but it still hurt. It ached, wounding deep in his chest.

  “No you fucking didn’t, you idiot,” An exclaimed in exasperation, chopping him on the head in a swift strike. “It's not a confession if you literally take it back. And wait, haven't you and Touya been going on dates to the cafe and arcade recently?”

  Akito reflected on their outings, and huh , maybe An was right. He stared at An suspiciously—how did she even find out about that?

   “Shinonome-kun,” Azusawa started mildly, pausing for a second before continuing, “Maybe you could write Aoyagi-kun a love song and sing it for him? He would probably like that.”

  “Aww, Kohane! That's so romantic!” An cooed, nuzzling into her girlfriend’s cheek. Azusawa squeaked out a mortified “An-chan!”, batting her away.

  Akito wrinkled his nose at their PDA, and he probably would have made fun of them over it if he wasn't currently going through a major crisis. He contemplated Azusawa’s suggestion, as ridiculous as it sounded. He couldn't write a love song, but… 

  “Azusawa, you're a genius. I have an idea.”

  Just having a rough plan wasn't good enough. Akito didn't know how he should go about carrying out his confession, because he would have to speak to Touya first. He had tried calling once after talking to An and Azusawa, but it went to voicemail, so he hasn't spoken to Touya since…the Incident. Afterwards he had received a message in the VBS group chat from Touya, stating that he would be gone for a week as his father had forced him to attend one of his networking events outside of Shibuya. 

  That was an entire week without Touya, for him to sort things out on his own.

  It had been two days since then and he had made no progress.

  Akito sighed and rolled over in his bed, coming face-to-face with the cat plush Touya had won for him at the arcade. The black cat’s comically large blue eyes stared back at him from beside his pillow. He hugged it in his arms, wishing it was Touya instead.

  He needed better advice. From Ena? No, definitely not. Not from Ken-san, either. Oh. Akito retrieved his phone from his desk, tapping the play button on ‘Ready Steady’, vision turning white as he hopped into SEKAI.

  “I wonder how Touya is doing…” Miku stared off into the distance, head rested on the cafe counter. 

   (Touya walks into CRASE cafe, his usual poker face replaced by a troubled look. Without a word, he sits in front of Meiko and Miku. 

  “Hi, Touya,” Meiko greets, sliding a cup of  coffee towards him, “How was your latest event?”

  “It went fine,” Touya says, voice clipped. Miku and Meiko share a glance. 

  Miku speaks gently, “Touya, is something bothering you?”

  Touya clenches his fist until his fingernails are digging into the skin of his palm, eyes downcast. “I punched Akito in the face,” he confesses, voice cracking midway.

  Both Miku and Meiko raise their eyebrows. That situation sounded very familiar to them after all. “If you don't mind sharing, why did you punch Akito?”

  Touya hunches in on himself further. “Akito…he told me he loved me by accident and tried to take it back. I got angry, so I punched him then ran away.” 

  Miku looks at Meiko and sees her own bewildered expression mirrored on her face. No time to unpack that now. More importantly, Touya needed their help. “Yeah, I think it's normal for you to feel overwhelmed after hearing such life-changing words,” Miku reassures him. Validate his feelings―good. “Maybe Akito also got overwhelmed by his own words, so he panicked.”

  Touya stares into his coffee. “Miku…Meiko…What should I do?”

  Miku thinks hard on what she should say, choosing her next words carefully, “Touya, remember your first fight with Akito? Even then, you two managed to work it out. Out of everyone, you know Akito the best. Touya, do you love Akito? If you do, whatever you choose to do next has to be with the knowledge that you love him, and he loves you.”

  Touya is silent for a long moment. “Akito is someone who will do anything in his power to achieve what he wants. He burns with so much passion and he won't stop or give up until he's satisfied. That's why, as his partner, I–” he stops there, red on his face darkening.

  Meiko reaches over the counter to pat Touya’s arm comfortingly, urging him to continue. 

  “I believe in him,” Touya finally finishes, ducking his head.

  Miku smiles to herself. Meiko is usually the one who is more adept at consoling others, but she thinks she did a pretty solid job this time. And the two of them―Touya and Akito―weren’t subtle at all. Even without the increased number of items in SEKAI turning orange and blue, she still would have picked up on how they didn't just see each other simply as singing partners from the way they looked at each other like the other hung the entire universe’s worth of stars in the sky when they thought nobody was looking. 

  At least Touya looks relaxed now, for the first time since he came in. “Thank you, Miku. Thank you, Meiko.” He stands up to bow a little, as formality. Both of them beam at him.)

  “I don't think you need to worry,” Meiko hummed as she washed the cafe’s dirty dishes. “It's all up to Akito now.”

  As if summoned, Miku spots a familiar mop of orange hair walking up to the cafe door. “Speaking of the devil. Look who's here!” she said cheerfully, sitting up to greet the newcomer.

  Akito slipped into the cafe to see Miku waving at him enthusiastically and Meiko drying the dishes. “Hi guys,” he said, hopping up onto the barstool beside Miku. 

  “Akito, a cheesecake for you?” Meiko inquired, already opening the refrigerator to cut him a slice.

  Akito nodded. “Yes, thanks Meiko.” Meiko passed over a plate, and Akito dug into it with a fork, cheesecake still a little frozen from the ice-cold of the refrigerator.

  “Something tells me you aren't just here to have some cheesecake,” Miku commented dryly, stifling a laugh. “So, what's up, Akito?”

  Akito chewed on a mouthful of cheesecake, licking his lips to stall for time. Both Miku and Meiko looked at him expectantly. 

  Akito found the entire humiliating story spilling out of him once again, tripping over his own tongue as he jumbled up words in his haste. “So, Touya hates me now,” Akito concluded, lightheaded and breathless from his own tirade. ( And Akito isn't stupid. Of course Touya would hate him, for being so pathetic and worthless, because he isn't good enough for Touya, for anyone, no matter what he does he’ll never be better– )

  “That's not true.” Akito startled, but Meiko’s voice was so soothing that he shut that one annoying part of his brain down and listened. “Touya believes in you. More than you can imagine.”

   Touya believes in you. Meiko’s words rang in his ears over and over again like a broken recorder, and he felt winded, like he had been punched, or slapped, all over again, air knocked out from his lungs. If Touya believed in him, then maybe, just maybe, he could believe in himself too. He choked out a laugh that bubbled up involuntarily from his chest, lifting a hand to wipe at his suddenly wet eyes. 

  “Akito, what do you really want, now?” Meiko turned serious, not at all fazed by his out of character display of emotions. 

  For so long, Touya had always been there to pick him up after every fall, allowing him to renew his goal and keep on moving forward. In every memory, Touya was there, and Akito didn't think he could envision a future without Touya in it. Just the thought of that alone terrified him.

  “I…I want to keep on singing with Touya,” Akito’s voice grew with confidence with each word. “I want to stand next to him, as his partner, and surpass RAD WEEKEND with him by my side. Because I love him, and I want to tell him that.” All of a sudden, Akito felt like he could breathe easier.

  “Actually, I have an idea on how I want to do that, but I'll need your help.” Having piqued Miku and Meiko’s interests, Akito explained his plan to them.

  Miku gave him a sharp grin, thumping him on the back after his quick rundown. “That's ambitious! I like it!”

  “We’ll do anything we can to help you,” Meiko added kindly, voice sincere.

  “Thanks, guys,” Akito said, relief evident in his eyes. “I really owe you one.” In fact, he should probably start searching for something in the real world that they would like and bring it to SEKAI next time. How much did a bag of those mini jelly pouches cost again?

  “Hey, that's what we’re here for! Now, let’s start finalising the details, shall we?” Miku cracked her knuckles, and the three of them launched into animated discussion.

  The rest of the week pretty much flew by. Akito still practised with An and Azusawa in SEKAI, with Len acting as substitute for Touya as they choreographed a new song, with An, Azusawa, Miku and Meiko occasionally shooting him knowing looks. But when he wasn’t practising, it was surprisingly lonely. He worked on his holiday assignments and gave up an hour in, mostly lying in bed all day with nothing to occupy himself with, bored out of his mind. Surely he knew a life outside of Touya? Apparently not.

  The day Touya was expected to return home, Akito felt the confidence and certainty from earlier in the week fade drastically. If his anxiety kept escalating at this scale, he wouldn't be able to carry out the confession plan. Why did he think he could do this? He had basically confessed once before this, so his nervousness didn't really make any sense.

  He had gone to SEKAI early to help Miku and Meiko set up for his big confession, also as a way to distract himself from his nerves. Akito heard a telltale ping of a notification from his phone, and he scrambled to check it so quickly he nearly smashed his head on the counter. Miku, noticing his odd behaviour, giggled. It really was from Touya, texting them that he had arrived back at Shibuya. Akito immediately went to his private chat with Touya.

Akito: hey dude hope you've been ok

Akito: are you back at home yet?

  His message was read almost instantly. Akito held his breath.

Touya: hi, akito. my week was fine, don't worry 

Touya: and yes, i’m back home

  Akito’s fingers trembled so badly as he typed out his next message that he had to delete and retype it multiple times.

Akito: can you meet me at SEKAI? i have something to show you

  Akito watched as the ‘typing…’ bubble icon appeared on screen, his heart palpitating madly.

Touya: sure, i'll be there in 5

  Akito looked up from his phone. “He’s coming,” he said hoarsely to Miku and Meiko. Both of them nodded in understanding and made their way to their assigned stations.

  Akito himself took his position on the makeshift stage in the cafe. It was really just a raised platform with a microphone connected to a pair of speakers, but it was good enough. Akito had barely picked up the mic before the entire cafe was plunged into darkness. That was Meiko’s doing, apparently to create the “atmosphere”.

  It truly hit him then, the reality of what he was about to do, the impact being like a truck going at full speed crashing right into him. He was going to serenade Touya. Akito never had any form of stage fright in his life, but he thought that it mustn't feel so different from what he was experiencing now, his pulse roaring in ears, nausea churning in his stomach, palms covered in cold sweat gripping the mic with all his strength, hands shaking too much to be natural. All a part of him wanted to do was to call the entire thing off, but Akito wasn't a quitter. So he planted his feet onto the floor and breathed.

  Eventually, the doors to the cafe were pushed open, and Touya stepped in. It took Akito all of his restraint to not call out to him and ruin everything. Touya stood there, taking in the completely dark cafe in puzzlement. “Akito?” he called out cautiously. When there was no response, he took another hesitant step forward.

  Miku took that as her cue to start the music soundtrack. As the first few notes of the instrumental rang clearly through the cafe, Touya halted in his tracks to trace the source, even more baffled than before. Akito could see the exact moment that Touya recognised the song that was playing, Aun no Beats, his eyes widening. They had talked about covering this song before, but scrapped the idea because it was difficult to choreograph.

  Touya knew, just a few more notes, and the lyrics would start. 

  The lyrics did start. 

  The spotlight turned on, shining down on Akito as he opened his mouth to sing the first line, nervousness forgotten. 

  “ minna dokka icchatta yo zero ni nacchatte zamaanai ne

shinjitetai kara koe ni dasu no ha yameta ”

  Akito’s voice came out perfectly even effortlessly, as it should after all the time he spent practising. Touya’s head swivelled to stare at him illuminated on the stage, slack-jawed, gears undoubtedly turning in his head. The song continued, and Akito’s voice filled the cafe, voice growing stronger with each passing lyric, as he poured every ounce of his own raw feelings into the song, praying that they somehow reach Touya.

  The song was about to end, and Akito sucked in a steadying breath, mentally preparing himself to sing the words. He locked eyes with Touya, whose intense gaze had not wavered from his figure since the start of his solo performance, and Touya imperceptibly grew more flustered.

“ soredemo soredemo soredemo

‘anata kara itte kudasai ne’ ”

  As the last few notes of the outro played, Akito slowly lowered the mic in his hand. Everything stilled, neither Akito nor Touya breaking their eye contact with each other. Out of the corner of his eye, Akito saw Miku and Meiko surreptitiously flashing him a thumbs up and a wink before slipping out of the cafe.

  He did it. He actually did it. Akito felt like he was floating, but he was far from done. He was about to say his actual confession, but Touya beat him to it. “Akito,” Touya breathed, leaping up onto the stage, slamming into him full-force, the surprise tackle almost causing Akito to lose his footing and send them both crashing onto the floor. Touya wrapped both arms around him, pulling him close into a hug so that their faces were mere centimetres away from each other. Then Touya leaned in, head tilted to close the last gap and pressed his lips against his, and they were kissing . 

  Akito let out a tiny noise of shock, mind going blank, but soon enough relaxed, one hand reaching up to cup Touya’s face, thumb tracing the outline of his cheekbone as he practically melted against him. Akito was sure Touya could feel his heart hammering against his ribs with the way their fronts were pressed together. It only lasted a few seconds before Touya pulled away, but Akito felt like he was about to combust, fireworks exploding in his mind. The red of his blush matched the intensity of the one on Touya, and both of them stood there facing each other, breathless. 

  “Sorry,” Touya offered, having the grace to sound abashed, “I got too excited.”

  “Don't apologise,” Akito blurted out, speaking in a rush. Oh right, my confession . Akito looked Touya straight in the eye, reaching out to grab ahold of both his hands. “Touya, you…you are the most amazing person I've ever met. I was enchanted by you when I first heard you sing that day on Vivid street. When we became partners, you were always there to support me whenever I felt like I wasn't good enough. And I realised that I want to sing with you by my side forever, because I love you, Touya,” Akito managed to say with minimal stuttering, feeling like his heart was going to leap out of his throat.

  “Akito…I was starstruck by your performance. And…you gave me a dream, taught me how to love. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be standing here today, Akito. Meeting you…It’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. There's no other person I'd want as my partner, because you're the best one I could ever ask for,” Touya’s eyes shone with fondness, and Akito’s breath hitched. “What I'm trying to say is, I love you too, Akito.” And the way Touya said ‘love’—like it was the thing he was most certain of, without a trace of doubt clouding his voice—made tears well up in Akito’s eyes, threatening to spill over.

  Touya gently rested his forehead on Akito’s, and adjusted one of his hands so that their fingers were now laced together. Akito felt the weight of his worries dissipate, and he laughed, happy and carefree for the first time in days. He could feel Touya do the same, shoulders shaking, the ringing sound echoing in the dark. 

  “I can't believe it took us so long to say that,” Akito snorted after they calmed down.

  “We really are idiots,” Touya said, but there wasn't any malice to his words as he smiled.

  Akito squeezed Touya’s hand, which he wasn't planning on letting go any time soon. “Yes, we are.”

  He wouldn't have it any other way.

  After thanking Miku and Meiko and bidding them farewell, Akito and Touya found themselves back at Pancakes&Coffee in the real world, on their ‘first’ date. Their hands intertwined, Touya had led him away from their usual table to a table meant for four and slid into the cushioned seat next to him. 

  ( Akito stands before the cashier, trying to decide if he should try something different for once and order the new menu item. Touya’s lips graze over his ear, whispering into it, “Get one. We’ll share,” voice low and sultry. A shiver runs up Akito’s spine at his proximity, and his face feels like it is on fire. )

  “Is that going to be a thing from now on?” Akito grumbled petulantly as the memory from just now finished replaying in his head. 

  Touya smirked, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “Yes,” he said smugly.

  Akito’s phone buzzed with a message from An, congratulating him for ‘finally getting his shit together and confessing to Touya’. Azusawa’s well-wishes were of the more polite variety. Akito ignored them all in favour of turning to Touya, who had insisted on hand-feeding him the pancakes. He dutifully opened his mouth to let Touya give him another forkful of blueberry pancakes. A tender expression was on Touya’s face as Akito did the same for him.

   Yes, this is life.

  Maybe Akito should thank Ena instead.