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INT. The Boys Cabin- Night, After The Elimination Ceremony
The boys are lounging on their beds, milling around the cabin, and getting settled in. On the left side of the cabin Kenny (top bunk) and Kyle (bottom bunk) share one bunk bed, Stan (top bunk) and Cartman (bottom bunk) are in the next, and Craig is alone on a bottom bunk. Across from them is Tolkien (top bunk) and Clyde’s (bottom bunk) bunk bed, then Tweek (top bunk) and Jimmy’s (bottom bunk). There are dressers for clothes in between the bunk beds, and a frayed circular carpet in the middle of the floor.
Tolkien: *unpacking his clothes* Crazy first day, huh guys?
Kyle: You don’t even know the half of it *flops face first onto his bed*
Stan: *sits next to Kyle and places a comforting hand on his back* Aww c’mon dude, it wasn’t so bad.
Cartman: *Snorts from where he is lounging on his bed* Says the guy crying over some random chick all day!
Stan: Wendy’s not random! She’s my ex, asshole.
Kenny: *hangs upside down from the bunk above Stan and Kyle, giggling* You do cry like a bitch though, dude.
Stan: Hey! *grabs Kenny from where he’s sitting and tries to jokingly yank him off the bed, but Kenny dodges him, laughing*
Jimmy: W- W- Was she at least a good lay though?
Stan: DUDE! Craig: Ew. Clyde: Yoooooo this guy gets it. *Clyde and Jimmy hi-five from their beds, Jimmy uses his crutch to reach*
Kyle: *lifts his head from the bed to give Jimmy a dirty look* Dude, not cool.
Tolkien: *breaking the tension* …Sooo aside from Stan and I, does anybody else have a girl?
Tweek: *Tweek has been sitting on his bed above Jimmy, frantically coloring in a zen coloring book, he stops* -Gah! Why would you assume we all like girls, man?
Craig: *say nothing but gives Tweek a very hard side eye, as if noticing him for the first time*
Tolkien: Oh! Right, sorry. You know what I mean. Is anybody else in a relationship?
Clyde: Well, I always have a few ladies on the line, but it’s nothing serious.*casual hair flip*
Jimmy: I’ve got a g-g-girl. Her name is N-Nancy. She’s super sweet and s-s-smoking hot.
Kenny: *stretches out on his bed with his arms behind his head* I’m livin’ that bachelor lifestyle.
Cartman: Yeah, I’m not gonna let some dumb girl boss me around, I already get enough of that shit from my mahm.
Clyde: Dude. Don’t disrespect your mom like that.
Cartman: Okay fine. Then I’ll disrespect your mom, alllll night.
Clyde: My mom’s dead, bro.
Cartman: *Everyone is aghast, but Cartman is unfazed* Yeah, and my dad’s dead. I made him into chili. What’s your point, dude?
*This gets EVERYONE'S attention, they look at Cartman, appalled. Cartman and Clyde stare each other down for a tense moment*
Clyde: *Clyde breaks the stare down and starts laughing, slapping his knee* HAhahahah good one, man. *the others start to awkwardly laugh along too, now assuming it was a joke.*
Stan: *leans down and whispers to Kyle* Dude, I seriously can’t tell if he’s joking or not.
Kyle: *whispering back* From what Leo told me about him… he might not be joking. *Realizes something, sits up on the bed* Hey wait, where is Leo?
Tolkien: Oh yeah, Leo! You’re right, he’s not here.
Tweek: Maybe he’s in the bathroom? Oh God– What if he caught some kind of deadly illness? D- Do you think it’s contagious?
Cartman: You guys, please, BUTTERS, is fine. He’s probably just out looking for a way to forfeit early.
Kyle: Well he’s on our team, so you’d better hope that’s not true. And he said he doesn’t like to be called that.
Cartman: So what?
Kyle: *scoffs and rolls his eyes* So don’t call him that?
Clyde: I dunno… It is pretty fitting.
Cartman: SEE, Kahl?
Stan: *Kyle shoots Stan a look to help out, but Stan just shrugs* It does kind of suit him, dude. I don’t know.
Kyle: Ugh. Well, whatever you want to call him, where the hell is he? This better not cost our team any points.
Craig: That doesn’t make any sense. We’re not even in a challenge right now.
Kyle: Haven’t you seen this kind of show before? Anything could be a challenge.
Tweek: O-Oh God, whAT IF WE’RE IN A CHALLENGE RIGHT NOW?
Craig: We’re not.
Tweek: IT’S JUST TOO MUCH PRESSURE, MAN!
Kenny: *jumps off his bed and walks to the center of the room confidently* Gentleman, gentleman please. Leo is more than okay. In fact, I wish I could trade places with him.
Tolkien: Why? Where the hell is he?
Kenny: You should be asking, where is she? ‘Cause there was some clerical error, and now he’s bunkin’ with the girls. *grinning*
*Cartman starts laughing hysterically, Kyle and Stan look at each other skeptically*
Clyde: WHAT? LUCKYYYyyyy! Craig: Ew. Jimmy: No w-w-w-way. Tweek: Gah!
Tolkien: Wait, with Nichole?!
Kenny: *shrugs* Guess so.
Tolkien: *tense, unsure of whether to run to the girl’s cabin or not* Oh my god, will she be okay? Is this ‘Butters’ kid a creep? I can’t have some weird dude watching my princess sleep!
Cartman: *Cartman is laughing, finding this hilarious as the only person who knows Butters well* Bro, relax. Butters is a harmless little kitten. He’s also like, the gayest person I’ve ever met. The dude still thinks girls have cooties. He’s probably hiding in a corner crying, begging them not to infect him as we speak.
Tolkien: *relaxes considerably* Really? What a relief.
Kenny: Maybe I should start telling people I’m gay so I can bunk with the girls too, damn.
Clyde: Amen brother. *Clyde and Kenny fist bump*
Jimmy: Do you think the girls are f-f-f-freaking out?
Craig: *first time we’ve seen him smile* Hah. I hope so.
CUT TO:
INT. The Girls Cabin- Night, After The Elimination Ceremony
The girl’s cabin has the same layout as the boys, but with less beds and more open space. On the left of the cabin there is one bed belonging to Wendy (top bunk) and Heidi (bottom bunk). Across from them is Nichole (top bunk) and Bebe (bottom bunk), then Butters (top bunk) and Henrietta (bottom bunk). The girls are not at their beds however, they are crowded around the back right corner of the cabin, looming menacingly over Leo “Butters” as he cowers and sinks into the floor. Only Henrietta is uninterested, reading on her bed.
Butters: *Butters is terrified, holding his hands up to protect his face and speaking rapidly* Please don’t be sore at me ladies, I don’t know why they assigned me to sleep in here with you, honest! I’m not tryin’ to disrespect your secret lady bond or your privacy or nothin'. Jus’ please don’t sacrifice me in your blood ritual when it’s that time of the month, I’ll do anything you want, I swear!
Bebe: *intimidating tone* You are… *Butters shrinks even more, but then Bebe’s tone changes to excitement* Soooo adorable!
Butters: HuH?!
Heidi: Oh my gosh I know! I could just gobble him up like peaches and cream! *squeals excitedly*
Nichole: *extends a hand to help Butters off of the floor* Yeah, don’t worry, we're not mad at you. This is probably just Chris’s idea to create extra drama.
Butters: *takes Nichole’s hand and stands, calmer* Oh! Oh YEAH. So you’re not gonna sacrifice me, or- or starting lezzing out?
*All the girls are confused, Bebe and Wendy share a brief look*
Wendy: Ummm… no. We’re not. Anyways, I’ll admit, I don’t love the idea of having a boy in the girl’s cabin, but you seem… nice enough. It’s Leo, right?
Bebe: Leo? I thought your name was Butters.
Butters: Well, no, actually, that was just–
Bebe: OH MY GOD *everyone looks at Bebe* I just had the most amazing idea.
*Bebe whispers something to Heidi, who squeals again. Then Heidi whispers something to Wendy, and Wendy gives Butters a calculating look like she’s assessing him. Then Wendy whispers something to Nichole, who immediately smiles and gives her approval with a thumbs up. The girls turn back to Butters– they are in agreement on something*
Butters: *Butters is terrified again* Oh geez, I swear I wouldn’t make a very good human sacrifice! M-m-my dad says my constitution is too weak! *the girls laugh, finding his panic cute, like he’s a trembling chihuahua*
Wendy: Oh please, the only one here who might sacrifice you in a blood ritual is Henrietta. And frankly, I don’t think she has that kind of power.
Henrietta: *Henrietta doesn’t get up off her bed, but responds to Wendy* Actually, sacrificing people isn’t goth. It’s like, wayyyy too much effort, and that’s not really our thing. However, I will be calling my period a blood ritual from now on, so I guess we’re cool. *she turns her attention back to her book, then changes her mind and addresses Butters* I’d watch out for them, whenever conformist girls start whispering, they’re either talking sh*t or plotting a makeover.
Wendy: *Wendy looks annoyed– like she wants to argue back, but can’t think of a rebuttal*
Bebe: *Bebe waves off Henrietta and turns back to Butters, batting her eyes* Butters–
Butters: Actually, my na–
Bebe: Butters, listen. Would you maybe…. let us do your makeup?
Butters: *Butters is totally shocked, this is not what he was expecting* D-do my-my makeup? B-but, I’m not allowed to wear makeup! I don’t even have any!
Bebe: Well duh, we’ll use ours.
Heidi: Oh pretty please! You’d look soooo adorable all dolled up.
Nichole: We won’t tell the other guys if you let us, promise! Not even Tolkein!
Wendy: Honestly Butters, I think if we just did a little something with your eyes and some highlights on your cheeks, you’d look really good. *the other girls nod in agreement*
Butters: *Butters is coming around to the idea, and he’s loving the compliments* Oh, uh, wow! You really think so?
Bebe: Totally! I swear, you’re not going to regret this.
Butters: Well okay then! What the heck! Let’s do it.
*After he agrees, the girls burst into action, rummaging through their things for their makeup. Nichole sits Butters down on Bebe’s bed and grabs her own makeup bag from the dresser*
Nichole: I’ll prep his face, but dibs on doing his highlighter! I’m really good at it, someone just needs to find one that matches his skin tone. *she starts cleaning Butters’s face with a makeup wipe*
Bebe: I’ve got some that’ll match! He can use my skin products, I think we’re about the same.
Wendy: Let me do his eyes! I know the perfect shadow and liner combination for him.
Heidi: Ooooo and can I do his lips? I’ve got all kinds of flavors of gloss!
Bebe: Sure! Oh, and let’s fill in his brows a little too.
*The girls descend on Butters, quickly taking turns applying different makeup products. When they’re finished, they stand back, satisfied, and appreciate their work. Bebe passes Butters a little hand mirror so he can look at himself.*
Butters: *Butters checks himself out in the mirror, almost in disbelief. He absolutely loves the way he looks and is in awe of their work. The girls take his stunned silence as a compliment*
Bebe: See! Told ya you’d look good!
Henrietta: *shouting from her bed* Show me! *Butters turns so she can see, for a split second she is shocked by how pretty he looks, but quickly goes back to being unfazed* Eh, could use more eyeliner. There’s like, none under his eyes. You need top and bottom liner, duh.
Wendy: We weren’t trying to make him goth.
Henrietta: *scoffs* Whatever.
Nichole: You look great, dude. Really.
Heidi: Sooo… what should we do now?
CUT TO:
EXT. Outside Both Cabins– Later That Night
From the outside the cabins are the same, but there is loud pop music coming from the girl’s cabin on the right, and the boys cabin to the left is dark and quiet.
CUT TO:
INT. Boy’s Cabin– Later That Night
Clyde, Kenny, Stan, Jimmy, and Tweek are playing cards on the floor and Cartman, Craig, Kyle, and Tolkien are in their beds. They’ve all stopped what they were doing to listen to the music coming from next door.
Stan: What do you guys think they’re doing over there?
Kyle: *putting his book down* Maybe they’re trying to drive Leo away with bad music. *Stan and Kenny laugh, but nobody else does*
Cartman: *talking while eating a bag of chips that he inexplicably had under his pillow* Don’t talk sh*t about Lady Gaga, dude. She’s an icon.
Kyle: Seriously? You like that crap?
Cartman: Yeah, dude! She’s an icon.
Craig: I actually agree with Cartman on this one. *A chorus of agreement from the other boys, aside from Stan*
*Stan and Kyle give each other The Look from across the room- are they the only two sane people here?*
CUT TO:
INT. Girl’s Cabin– Later That Night
Bebe, Heidi, Nichole and Butters are dancing around in their pajamas, singing into hair brushes, and having a great time. Henrietta is in bed and under the covers with chunky headphones on, and Wendy is journaling in her bed, but is also singing along to the music.
Bebe: *Bebe peeks out the window and sees that boy’s cabin is totally dead* Boy’s cabin? More like boos cabin.
Heidi: Yeah! Boy’s cabin? More like… uh… bummer cabin. ‘Cause our cabin is way more fun!
Nichole: Yeah! You tell ‘em sis’!
Butters: Yeah! Boys stink! *Bebe, Heidi, and Nichole cheer in agreement*
CUT TO:
EXT. Outside Both Cabins– Later That Night.
The girl’s cabin is still rocking and the boy’s is still quiet. Chris stands in front of both cabins.
Chris: Aaaaannnnddd that’s a wrap on day one of Total Drama Island!
Due to his poor navigating, Scott was eliminated, and the first win went to the Vicious Vipers!
Kyle almost murdered all of his teammates because of Scott’s mistake, and they have Stan to thank for saving their lives! And they still lost! Ha! I can see that temper getting him into trouble later. *wink*
Oh, and Leo aka. Butters was “accidentally” assigned to the girl’s cabin. You can blame my intern for that one. *Chris looks around, then whispers to the camera* I don’t have an internnnnnn!
Anyways, I wonder how that is going to play out! Only time will tell- here on: Total! Drama! Island!
Tune in next week, where two campers will compete head to head in an episode that’s sure NOT to be a drag. *wink*