Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Regina wakes up to a stirring in her arms, erratic and distressed. 

Her eyes shoot open and she looks down, seeing Cady squirming, her face buried against Regina’s shoulder. She's trembling, but based on her other movements, she's still asleep. 

A nightmare. Cady’s definitely having a nightmare.

Regina remembers the way Cady called her last week, panicking and sobbing after a nightmare. Her heart aches already, but she’s glad she’s here. She’s glad she’s already here and Cady doesn’t have to go through this alone. If Regina can help it, Cady’s never going to go through that alone again.

Regina squeezes her close. “Cady, it's okay. It's okay. Cady.” She rubs her back soothingly, trying to calm her down and wake her up at the same time. “Cady, it's okay. You're okay. It's just a dream.” 

Cady’s eyes shoot open and she starts to struggle again, but Regina holds tight. “Shh, baby, shh, it's okay. You're okay. It's just a bad dream. I'm here. I've got you. It's okay. It's okay.” 

It takes Cady a moment to stop thrashing, realizing where she is and who she's with. She screws her eyes shut again, burying herself back into Regina’s shoulder. She lets out a choked sob, her whole body shuddering with it. 

“I've got you, baby,” Regina says softly. “Let it all out. I've got you. I've got you.”

Cady sobs again, clinging desperately to Regina. Regina presses her lips to the crown of Cady’s head, running a hand through her hair. “I've got you, baby. I've got you.”

It takes quite a while for Cady to fully calm down. Regina keeps rubbing her back, playing with her hair, and whispering soothing words in her ear. She plants little kisses on the top of Cady’s head, holding her close and letting Cady sob it out in her arms. 

Regina closes her eyes as Cady’s shaking and sobbing finally begins to subside. She takes a deep breath, breathing in Cady’s scent. She takes another one, counting her way through it out loud. She keeps counting with each deep breath until she feels Cady’s breathing pattern start to mirror hers. She presses another kiss to Cady’s head. 

“You're doing so good, baby. I've got you.” 

Cady takes another deep breath, before nuzzling her face back into Regina. The spot where she was before is soaked with her tears, but Regina doesn't care. She cups the back of Cady’s head with her hand, whispering soothingly. Cady starts rocking in her arms, not quite shaking or trembling, so Regina rocks with her, which gets a sigh of relief out of Cady. 

“Does this help?” Regina asks softly, and she feels Cady nod against her. “Good, good. I'm here. I've got you.” 

Cady keeps rocking for a little while, until she finally tires again. It slows to a stop, and Regina feels her breathing even out in her arms, a sign that she's fallen back asleep. 

Regina closes her eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. Her mind and heart are both racing . She has no idea if she’s going to be able to fall back asleep after that. She probably needs to. It's going to be a long, long day. 

But quite frankly, the only thing she wants to do is hold Cady and watch her, and make sure she doesn’t have another nightmare. It’s the only possible thing that can hurt Cady while she’s sleeping in Regina’s arms. Regina’s determined to make that the safest place possible for Cady to be.

When Cady wakes the second time, it's not from a nightmare. She wakes up exhausted, drained, and defeated. This, this feeling is what she's always associated with her depressive episodes. Not whatever weird half-depression she’s been floating through for the past week and half, after that initial crisis. She is finally really in the thick of it. 

She feels Regina press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Hi, baby.”

Cady nuzzles against Regina’s shoulder, rubbing with her nose. Her mind is buzzing, and while she wants to say hi back, she can’t bring herself to do it. She’s too exhausted, too overwhelmed, too overstimulated. She just woke up. How the hell is she overstimulated? But Cady knows herself. She knows her stupid, broken brain better than anyone. Some days, it just wants to give up on being a person, and it looks like today is one of those days. She shouldn’t be surprised, really. She’s gone nonverbal for her entire birthday the last couple of years. And the day after. Ugh, she hopes that doesn’t happen. She always hates feeling like this, but she really doesn’t want to be like this around Regina.

Regina . God, she’s glad she warned Regina about this last night. She had almost forgotten about it. She’s certain Regina would be freaking out today if Cady hadn’t explained it last night. Not that Cady could blame her. It’s not her fault that Cady’s a mess who becomes this on her birthday. She hates herself for it. 

“How're you feeling?” Regina asks, to which Cady shrugs. She's not sure how to communicate I feel like shit without words. 

“Baby?” 

Cady just presses her forehead firmer against Regina and sighs. Maybe Regina forgot. Maybe she's going to freak out after all. 

“Did you… are you… what'd you call it, nonverbal?”

Cady nods.  

“Okay,” Regina says, pressing another kiss to her head. “That's okay. I'm still right here, okay?” 

Cady nods again. 

“Did you have another nightmare?”

Cady shakes her head. 

“Good, good.” Regina adjusts her grip, cradling Cady against her. “I love you, my sweet girl. I love you and I'm here and I've got you.”

Cady presses a gentle kiss to the nearest exposed skin she can find, hoping it gets the message across. I love you too .

They lay in silence for a little while after that. Regina runs her hand through Cady’s hair as Cady lays limply in her arms. Cady’s eyes are shut, but she stays wide awake. 

There's a gentle knock on the door. Cady squirms in Regina’s arms, so she loosens her grip. Cady rolls over, facing the door. 

“Come in,” Regina calls out.

Betsy opens the door and peeks inside. “Hi,” she says softly, her eyes landing on Cady, whose eyes are open and her face tear stained. “How are you feeling, honey?” 

Cady just shakes her head. 

“She's gone, uh, nonverbal, I think she called it,” Regina says. “She explained last night.”

Betsy sighs, coming to sit down on the edge of the bed. She gently cups Cady’s cheek, who nuzzles into the touch. “Yeah, that's common on her birthday. On and off throughout the episodes, really. It's been a shock that it hasn't happened until now. Any nightmares?”

Cady nods, and Regina squeezes lightly. 

“She was thrashing in my arms in her sleep,” Regina explains. “I woke her up and got her calmed down and stuff. She slept a little more after that, but no more nightmares.” Cady nods in agreement with Regina’s words. 

“Thank you,” Betsy says softly. She sighs again. “I'm going to make some breakfast. Would either of you like anything?”

Cady shakes her head, but Regina replies with, “Yes, please.” 

“I was just going to make some scrambled eggs and toast. That alright?”

“That's perfect, thank you.” 

Betsy pats Cady’s cheek softly, before standing up and leaving the room. Cady turns again, burying her face right back into Regina. 

“Hi baby,” Regina says softly, pressing a kiss to the top of Cady’s head. “I know eating is going to be really hard today, but do you think you might be able to try a couple bites of breakfast for me?”

Cady sighs, her shoulders slumping. She nods once, getting another kiss on the head.

“Thank you, baby. I know it’s hard. I just want you to have something in you.”

Cady nuzzles Regina’s shoulder again. Regina runs her hand through Cady’s hair, soft and gentle. 

They lay in silence for a while, Regina humming softly as she plays with Cady’s hair. Cady’s physically relaxed by the touch, but her brain is going a thousand miles a minute, working herself up over nothing over and over again.

She hates this. She hates this. She feels so useless, so helpless. She’s a mess. What kind of person shuts down like this? Over what , the reminder of a bad day? Why does she have to be this way? It was ten years ago . She should be over it by now. She doesn’t feel like Adult Cady Heron. She feels like Teenage Cady Heron, who shut down in the school library for months and months and hardly ever spoke a word. She feels like Teenage Cady Heron, who stared at the wall of her bedroom in Evanston for countless hours. She feels like Teenage Cady Heron, who couldn’t be left alone, ever . She feels like Teenage Cady Heron, who required her two best friends to basically work shifts babysitting her with her mother. She feels like Teenage Cady Heron, who was so useless, she had to drop out of fucking high school. Which is exactly why this day feels so goddamn awful in the first place. She feels like every single ounce of effort, recovery, anything , has all been undone. 

Cady feels like absolute and utter shit . 

It’s stupid. It’s so damn stupid. She can’t hold herself together just because it’s her birthday. Because she had to drop out. Because she can’t get through a single year without the jarring, horrid reminder. Without these huge setbacks. It always takes her so long to recover from these fully. Usually she just sleeps for basically two or three straight weeks just to make the feelings go away. To stop thinking like this. 

Tears start to flow. It’s so pathetic. Cady doesn’t know why anyone puts up with her. She doesn’t know why Regina would ever want to be with her. She’s pathetic. Here she is, curled up on her bed, spiraling, and crying her eyes out, because it’s her fucking birthday . Why should Regina have to deal with this? Why should Regina have to deal with her ? Why should her mother? Why should anyone have to deal with stupid, pathetic, useless, miserable Cady Heron? 

Their lives would be better if she wasn’t here.

The thought jolts Cady out of her spiral. She tightens her grip on Regina, clinging to her. Tears continue streaming down her face, and for the first time in a little bit, she begins to hear Regina’s soothing words again. She realizes Regina’s been saying them for a little while, but Cady’s been so tunnel-visioned into her own thoughts, she couldn’t hear Regina talking until now. That’s terrifying . She was over that years ago. She doesn’t do that anymore. She doesn’t get so lost in her own spiraling, suicidal thoughts that she blocks out the whole world anymore. Except apparently she does, even when in Regina’s arms. Regina’s arms, the place she’s felt safer than she ever has in her entire life. Regina’s arms, where she’s completely wrapped up in Regina’s touch, which is the most grounding thing for her. Yet she’s floated away. She’s lost herself in the one place where she thought she never would.

She’s never going to get better. She’s going to be like this for her entire life. Nothing can save her. Nothing can fix her. She’s useless, worthless, pathetic. Regina doesn’t deserve this. No one deserves this. 

She chokes out a sob, unable to hold it back any longer. She buries her face into Regina’s shoulder again, desperate for the comfort she normally feels from Regina. The comfort that for some reason, isn’t happening, even though Regina’s doing everything she normally does. Cady’s not feeling better. Cady’s feeling worse . She just wants it all to stop . She can’t make it stop . And she can’t even tell Regina, because she can’t fucking talk , because she’s useless and pathetic and miserable and she doesn’t deserve Regina. She doesn’t deserve anything . What’s the fucking point of being alive if life is like this?

Regina holds Cady close, closing her eyes and squeezing her. It’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you , don’t really seem to be working anymore. Regina’s not sure why or what does work in situations like these. 

There’s another soft knock on the door, and this time, it opens without waiting for a greeting.

“Sorry,” Dr. Heron says, nudging the door open with her foot. She’s got a small tray in her hands, with the breakfast and a bottle of water. “Just wanted to… oh, honey.” Dr. Heron’s eyes land on her daughter, sobbing hysterically in Regina’s arms.

“I don’t know what prompted it,” Regina tells her, trying (and failing) to keep her voice calm, to which Dr. Heron just nods. 

“That’ll happen a lot today. Just hang in there.” Dr. Heron puts the tray down on Cady’s dresser, before heading over to the bed and sitting on the edge again. She rubs Cady’s arm, gentle and soft, as Cady continues to sob. 

Regina holds Cady close, pressing gentle kisses to the top of her head as Dr. Heron continues to rub Cady’s arm. Dr. Heron begins to sing a quiet song in a language Regina doesn’t understand (Swahili, she assumes. She knows Cady used to speak it quite fluently back in Kenya, and can still understand a lot of it, but hasn’t really used the language in years). It seems to calm Cady down a bit at first, but then she begins sobbing again, more intensely this time. 

Regina looks up at Dr. Heron, confused and worried, to which Dr. Heron just sighs and nods. 

“Let me see if I can find something for her to write with.” Dr. Heron stands up. “Something’s going on.”

Regina wants to snap back, Clearly! , the frustration and helplessness of the situation getting to her, but she knows that’s not going to help anything right now. Instead, she just nods, pressing another kiss to Cady’s head and squeezing her tight. 

Dr. Heron returns a few minutes later with a notebook and pen, sitting on the edge of the bed again. Regina feels so dumb when she sees it. They'd worried last night over being able to communicate without using a screen. They'd forgotten about paper.

Regina supposes she has an excuse. She's quite literally concussed right now. And Cady, well, if this is what a single night did to Cady, Regina can't really blame her for whatever's going on inside her head either.

Dr. Heron nudges Cady lightly, but she won’t remove herself from Regina’s shoulder.

“Cady, I have a notebook for you to write on, so you can tell us what’s wrong,” Dr. Heron tells her. “Do you think you can do that for us?”

Cady shakes her head, trembling. 

Dr. Heron takes a deep breath, putting the notebook down on the bedside table, along with the pen. “I’ll leave this here for now.” She starts rubbing Cady’s arm again, but Cady jerks it away. Dr. Heron blinks, stunned. “Do you want me to go?”

Cady nods forcefully, still not taking her head away from Regina’s shoulder. Regina gives Dr. Heron a confused and apologetic look, but Dr. Heron just puts up a hand and nods. 

“It’s alright. I’ll go. Let me know if she needs anything, okay?”

“Of course,” Regina says softly. She knows it’s what Cady wants, but Regina wants to scream and beg Dr. Heron to not leave. This is terrifying . She has no idea what’s wrong with Cady, or why she won’t stop sobbing, or what to do . 

Dr. Heron leaves the room, gently closing the door behind her. Regina takes a deep breath, pressing her lips to Cady’s head again. 

“She’s gone, baby. It’s just us.”

Cady sobs and shudders, and Regina just holds her close. They lay there in silence, Regina holding her close as Cady continues to sob. Regina runs her hands through Cady’s hair, but she doesn’t know what to do . 

When the sobbing doesn’t subside after several more minutes, Regina squeezes Cady tightly. 

“Baby, I need you to try to breathe for me, okay? I’m worried you’re going to cry yourself sick again. Can you try to breathe with me?” 

Cady gives a feeble nod, still trembling.

Regina begins counting them through deep breaths, doing them with her. It’s slow, and takes far longer than it normally does, but the sobbing finally subsides, and Cady just lays in Regina’s arms, taking deep breaths over and over again. 

“Do you think you could try using the notebook to tell me what’s wrong?” Regina asks softly. “Or what I can do to help? Anything .” She kisses Cady’s forehead again. “I don’t know how to help but I know whatever’s happening, you need help.”

Cady nods, starting to roll over in Regina’s arms. She reaches up and grabs the notebook and the pen off the bedside table, laying on her side, back facing Regina. She’s not sure that she can look at Regina while she does this, so she doesn’t. To Regina’s credit, she doesn’t try to get her to roll back over. She’s pretty sure Regina knows this is going to be delicate. She opens the notebook, putting it down on the bed next to her before uncapping the pen. She takes a slow, shaky breath, and starts to write.

I’m sorry .

The handwriting is large and shaky, and a little slanted, but it’s definitely legible. She holds it up for Regina to see, which makes Regina wrap her arms tight around Cady’s stomach and hold her close, even if she’s still facing away from Regina. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Cady.”

I do.

“What are you sorry for?”

I’m sorry you have to put up with me.

“Baby, I’m not putting up with you. I love you. I’m going to be there for you, however you need, whenever you need, for as long as I can. For as long as you’ll let me.”

You deserve better.

“Okay, no. We’re not doing this right now, okay? You’re hurting. You aren’t thinking clearly. I don’t care what you think I deserve . I love you , and that means all of you. Even the parts you don’t like, okay? And yeah, I don’t like that you’re this upset either, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to give up.” Regina pulls herself closer to Cady, pressing her lips to the back of Cady’s shoulder. “You’re stuck with me. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Cady takes a long moment, writing and scribbling and writing again several times in a row. Regina waits to see what she holds up, and when she finally does, Regina’s heart sinks.

I don’t

You don’t

I can’t stop thinking

I can’t

You would be better off if I

No one deserves this. Having to deal with me.

Regina’s heart sinks as her eyes scan the paper, including the crossed out portions. The words left unsaid are screaming in Regina’s ears. She turns Cady over, pulling her into an incredibly tight hug. She cups the back of Cady’s head, burying her own face against the top of Cady’s shoulder. “No, no, no. You’re wrong, baby. You’re so wrong. You are so important to the people who love you. You’re so important to me . You’re just having a bad day. Everybody has bad days. That doesn’t mean…” Regina’s voice trails off, stuck in her throat. She feels tears welling up in her eyes. “ Please , baby. Don’t… don’t say things like that.” Her voice cracks on the last sentence, and she falls quiet. 

Cady’s tears are flowing again, but they aren’t full blown sobs this time. She buries herself in Regina’s arms, feeling the fierce and protective way Regina holds her and trying to focus on that. Trying so hard to focus on the love and care and fear that’s radiating through Regina right now. The desperate need for her to be okay . She begins shaking again, and Regina squeezes her tighter. 

“I love you,” Regina says with a shaky voice. “Please don’t… please don’t… I can’t even say it. I’m sorry.” A tiny sob escapes her, and Cady clings for dear life. She presses a kiss to Regina’s shoulder, before pressing her forehead against Regina’s neck. The skin-to-skin helps, but it’s not enough. It hasn’t been enough at all today. Maybe that’s what she needs. More skin-to-skin than this. Cady slips her hands underneath the back of Regina’s shirt, putting her palms and forearms on Regina’s back. She takes a shaky breath, feeling Regina’s warmth and letting it flow through her. 

Regina mirrors the movement, sliding her arms under and up the back of Cady’s shirt. The same pressure isn’t there that the fierce hug offered, but the extra skin-to-skin contact does wonders to calm them both. They tangle their legs together, getting as much skin-to-skin as they can on their calves, their sleep shorts providing plenty of space for that. They’re laying there, pressed into each other, tangled up together, eyes shut tight as they try to focus on one another. 

Cady’s trembling slowly subsides, and her breathing evens out. She’s fallen asleep again, completely exhausted by her crying. Regina can’t sleep, definitely not. Her senses are on high alert, entirely unable to stop from constantly checking for Cady’s breathing and heartbeat. Her own heart feels like it’s in her throat, and she’s just barely able to breathe.

This isn’t passive, and she knows it.

Cady stirs again, and she feels like shit. Still . Her whole body and mind feel like every ounce of energy has been sapped from them. Her eyes hurt, and her face is all hot and sore from sobbing. Her body is clinging desperately to Regina, each of her limbs seeking some amount of skin-to-skin contact. 

“Hey,” Regina says softly, rubbing her hands on Cady’s back. “You’re awake.”

Cady nods softly, pressing her head against Regina firmly. 

“You feeling any better?”

Cady shrugs lightly. 

Regina presses a kiss to the top of Cady’s head. “I’m scared, Cady.”

Cady takes her hands out of the back of Regina’s shirt and starts to squirm, trying to roll over again. At first, Regina won’t let her, but after a frustrated huff, Regina realizes what she’s doing.

“Sorry,” Regina says quickly, taking her hands out of Cady’s shirt and letting Cady turn over. “Forgot about the notebook.”

Cady starts writing again, and then holds it up for Regina to read.

I’m scared too.

“Is… is it worse? Than it’s been before?”

I feel like it is but I don’t know. It’s always such a blur. I just want to stop feeling like this.

“I know, baby. I know. I wish I could make it stop. I wish I could take all that pain and hurt away.”

I’m sorry I scared you.

“Please don’t be sorry. And please, even if it is scary, tell me when these things happen, okay?”

Okay. I love you. I’m sorry you have to deal with me and my bullshit.

“Baby, I’m not dealing with anything. I love you so, so, so much, and this is a part of that. Taking care of you. Supporting you. Holding you close when you need it most and being here. I love you . More than words will ever be able to fully describe. Promise… promise me if you ever feel like you’re going to do anything like that, you’ll come to me. Please .”

I promise. I don’t want to DO anything about it, but the thoughts won’t go away. I hate it so much.

“I know, baby, I know.” Regina presses her forehead against Cady’s shoulder for a moment, but she pulls it back up quickly, not wanting to miss any messages from the notebook. 

I won’t ever do that to you. I promise.

“Thank you, baby,” Regina says softly. 

Can you lay on top of me for a little while? I think I need more pressure.

Regina gives a tiny smile. “I sure can, baby. Let’s get comfortable.”

A little while later, there’s another knock on the door again. Regina turns her head to see Dr. Heron enter, a soft and worried look on her face. She gives Regina a look when she sees her laying fully on top of Cady.

“Pressure,” Regina whispers. “She likes the pressure. Also, she’s asleep. I’m just laying here.”

Dr. Heron considers this for a moment, and then nods, accepting that Regina’s telling the truth. “How is she?”

“A little better now, I think, but overall, really not good.” Regina points to the notebook near the edge of the bed. “I’m worried. Really worried.”

Dr. Heron picks up the notebook and reads through the couple of pages with Cady’s large, shaky handwriting scribbled across several lines at a time. Her shoulders deflate when she gets to the page with all the crossed out writing, and they don’t perk back up through the rest of the pages. 

“She’s not to be left alone until she gets cleared by her therapist tomorrow,” Dr. Heron whispers. “That means even if you’re just going to the bathroom, call me over, or see if you can get her out in the living room. And if she has to use the bathroom, she’s not allowed to close the door. She knows that, but she might need a reminder. Just a heads up.”

“Got it,” Regina whispers back. Cady sighs beneath her, but shows no other signs of waking up.

“Let me know when she wakes up.” Dr. Heron puts the notebook back on the edge of the bed. “I want to try to talk to her a bit.”

“Okay, will do.” 

Dr. Heron leaves the room again, taking the untouched and long forgotten tray of food as she goes, and Cady continues to slumber peacefully beneath Regina. Regina closes her eyes, breathing in Cady’s scent, feeling for Cady’s steady heartbeat, and hoping desperately that Cady will be even just a little bit better when she wakes up again. 

Cady stirs, feeling steady pressure throughout her whole body. A hand gently caresses her face, cupping her cheek. Cady’s eyes flutter open, and she sees Regina smiling down at her gently. Cady can’t help but give the tiniest hint of a smile back, which makes Regina smile even brighter. 

“Hi, baby,” Regina says softly, rubbing her thumb on Cady’s cheek. “How’re you feeling?”

Cady closes her eyes and presses her cheek further into Regina’s hand. She’s not really sure how to answer that. Both literally and metaphorically. She doesn’t know how she feels, and she doesn’t know how to communicate it. 

“Can you give me a nod if you’re feeling even just a little bit better?” 

Cady hesitates, but then gives the tiniest of nods. Regina stretches her neck up, leaving a gentle kiss on Cady’s forehead. 

“Good. That’s good. Even if it’s only just a little bit, that’s good.”

Cady smiles softly, reaching a hand up and stroking Regina’s face in a mirror image. Regina smiles at the touch, leaning into Cady’s soft and gentle hand. 

“I really need to pee,” Regina finally admits, “and your mom wants to talk to you. She also said you’re not allowed to be alone right now, so you need to come out to the living room while I use the bathroom.”

Cady sighs, her shoulders slumping, but she nods. She knows the drill. Regina climbs carefully off Cady, helping her get out from underneath the mountain of weighted blankets. Regina picks one of the blankets up, wrapping it gently around Cady’s shoulders as Cady stands up from the bed. Cady has to steady herself for a moment to hold it up, but then smiles at Regina and nods her head slightly. Regina grabs the notebook and pen, before wrapping an arm around Cady’s shoulders and leading her out into the living room. 

Betsy looks up, a soft and worried smile on her face. “Hi, honey. How’re you feeling?”

Cady shrugs as Regina leads her over to the sofa, but Cady shakes her head. She heads over to the empty recliner instead, sitting down in it. 

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Regina tells Dr. Heron as she hands Cady the notebook and pen. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Dr. Heron nods as Regina heads into the bathroom. She turns and looks at her daughter.

“I read the notebook,” Betsy says, to which Cady nods before she begins writing.

I know. I figured you would.

“Do we need to escalate anything?”

No. I promise. I’m feeling better now. It was just really overwhelming for a little bit there. Regina got me through it.

“Good,” Betsy sighs. “Good. Just to be safe, though, I don’t want you alone until you get cleared by Thalia tomorrow, okay?”

Okay. That’s fine.

“I’m going to make some lunch for us. I want you to try and eat some of it, okay?”

You sound like Regina. But yeah. I’ll try.

Betsy laughs lightly. “Thanks, honey. I’m just going to make some sandwiches. Do you want anything specific?”

Honestly, I feel like a PB&J.

Betsy blinks. She mostly asked as a formality. Cady never offers real answers for what she wants to eat when she’s like this. Hell, she hardly offers answers about what she wants to eat on a good day. She smiles gently, trying not to let too much of her shock show. “Sure, honey. I can do that.”

Regina emerges from the bathroom, and Cady stands up from the recliner. “Do you want to go back in?” Regina asks, gesturing to Cady’s bedroom.

Cady shakes her head, pointing to Regina, and then the recliner. Regina walks over skeptically, sitting down in it when Cady urges her to do it again with more hand gestures. As soon as Regina is sitting, Cady sits in her lap, curled up in a little ball, her side leaning against Regina’s front as she tucks her head into the crook of Regina’s neck.

Regina finally understands. This is how they cuddle on Regina’s couch when one of them is upset. She wraps her arms firmly around Cady, holding her close. She rocks a bit in the recliner, since the chair can rock back and forth a bit, humming softly. The rhythmic motion and soft noise seems to calm Cady further, and Regina can’t help but feel relieved.

Betsy watches from the kitchen, stunned as she watches the way Regina cares for her daughter, so gently and effortlessly. The fact Cady had opted to sit out here instead of crawling right back into bed was a miracle in and of itself. And the way Regina immediately started rocking her and soothing her… Regina knows her daughter. Regina knows Cady, and what she needs. She knows how to help. 

Betsy finishes making the PB&Js, cutting them diagonally, like Cady used to love when she was a little kid. She brings them out on three plates, putting them on the coffee table. 

“Cady actually requested these,” Betsy tells Regina, which makes Regina smile. Betsy’s not sure if Regina knows just how big of a deal this is, but the look in her eyes tells Betsy she knows it’s a big deal in some capacity. 

“Let’s eat, baby,” Regina says softly, rubbing Cady’s back. Cady sits up a little, holding out a hand for the plate. Betsy hands it to her, and then one of the other plates to Regina, with a gentle smile. Regina takes it and smiles back, balancing the plate on Cady’s knee so she can eat while still keeping an arm wrapped around Cady for comfort. 

The three eat their sandwiches in relative quiet. Regina finishes first, but keeps rubbing gentle circles on Cady’s back under the blanket while she eats. Betsy waits until Cady is done, and to her absolute shock, Cady eats the whole sandwich . 

Regina kisses Cady’s forehead. “Good job, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

Cady smiles softly, pressing her head into Regina’s neck again. Betsy takes the plates from Regina, who looks up at her with a hopeful smile. 

“Thanks for the sandwiches, Dr. Heron.”

Betsy stares at her for a few moments, watching the way she holds Cady. The way she rocks Cady. The way she’s tender and loving and gentle with her. The way Cady presses into her, seeking comfort. The way her daughter trusts her, the way she loves her. The way Regina clutches Cady in her arms, almost scared that if her grip isn’t tight, Cady might float away. 

It’s a fear Betsy knows well. It’s the scary reality of what happened to her husband. It’s been her biggest fear with Cady for the last ten years.

As much as Betsy hates to admit it, her and Regina are a lot more alike than she ever thought.

“Betsy,” she says, with a little nod and a smile. “Call me Betsy.”