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Oh, something was wrong.
Ryuji felt it the instant he woke up - he was too warm and his body was achey in that familiar way, his throat in particular felt strangely hot and hurt when he swallowed. Shit. They were supposed to go into Mementos to train for Shido’s palace today, and there was no way Ryuji would be able to keep up like this. He didn't even want to move.
Ryuji groaned and rolled onto his side, kicking his blanket halfway off his body so his fever hopefully didn't kill him. That was about as much as he was willing to move, though. Hopefully his mom was around to call Shujin, he didn't need them thinking he was ditching when he was finally starting to do well. Ryuji had no idea what time it was, though. All he knew was that it was dark in his room.
He must've drifted back off to sleep without realizing because the next thing he knew, he was blinking his eyes open again when he felt a cool hand on his forehead. Everything beyond that feeling was fuzzy and dark. And warm. God, he was so warm.
Ryuji heard a ‘tsk’ above him and blearily looked up at the figure. He wasn't fully conscious and it was pretty dark, but based on the slender hand still on his head and the worried lines of the face staring down at him (and the fact that his blood didn't jolt at the sight of them - his brain was pretty good at detecting threats in his own home no thanks to his sperm donor), he was pretty sure it was his mom.
“Ryu…” she murmured, confirming his theory.
Ryuji groaned again and rolled over after she took back her hand.
She ‘tsk’ed again, hand going to his back to rub it comfortingly. He leaned into the touch.
“I have to go to work in a bit,” she murmured quietly, almost as if she was trying not to wake him. “You gonna be okay on your own?”
Ryuji sighed and hummed in response.
“... Alright. I'll be back as soon as I can.”
Ryuji heard her leave and close his door, and some childish part of him mourned the loss. He rolled his eyes at himself and rolled onto his stomach to nuzzle his face into his pillow. Ryuji wasn't a kid anymore, he didn't need his mommy to comfort him and make him food while he was sick. He could take care of himself, thank you very much.
… His sleep must've been fitful, because he kept waking up for seemingly no reason. At one point, Ryuji distinctly remembered opening his eyes, feeling his stomach growl violently, and turning onto his side before falling asleep again. Jeez, he'd never gotten this much sleep in his life. It must've been hours.
The next thing he knew, someone was opening his blinds and nudging him awake.
Ryuji groaned loudly in protest, throwing his blanket over his head as he squeezed his eyes shut against the small amount of light, and yeah, maybe he sounded a little childish, but he didn't feel good and he just wanted to sleep, damn it-
Wait. He smelled food.
“C'mon Ryuji, you gotta eat.”
Wait, what the fuck-?
Ryuji pushed his cover back to squint up at his black-haired best friend, mouth downturned in concern but otherwise looking as neutral as ever with a bowl of something in his hand.
“What… what're you doin’ ‘ere, Ren?”
“Your mom called me.”
“... Y’ain’t going to school?”
“I'm dead, remember?” Ren grinned humorlessly.
Riiiight. He was still in hiding. Ryuji really should've remembered that, but his mind was pretty addled at the moment. Everything felt too hot and blurry and… he didn't have much brain power to dedicate to thinking. It definitely showed - even Ryuji could tell he was slurring his words a little.
“... How'dja get ‘ere? Y’didn’t take the train, didja?”
Ren shook his head. “Your mom brought me over. She was careful. She wanted me to babysit you.”
“‘m not a baby,” Ryuji grumbled, turning to hide his face in his pillow again.
Ren chuckled above him. “Come on, baby, I made you curry.”
Ryuji absolutely knew it wasn't what Ren intended, but him calling Ryuji “baby” spiked his heartrate (... and his irritation, which Ren had no doubt intended). Man, what he wouldn't give for Ren to call him that for real…
Ahem. “... Curry?” Ryuji lifted his head and eyed the steaming bowl Ren had curiously.
“Yeah. It's good for colds or something. I dunno, just eat it.” Ren held it out to the blond and Ryuji stared for a couple seconds before taking it. He didn't really feel like eating even though his stomach was begging him for it, but Ren’s curry… it was steadily becoming Ryuji’s favorite food.
Ryuji ate a little bit, but he couldn't taste it very well and his throat must’ve been unhappy with him because it felt like he was swallowing glass. Ren seemed content with the few bites he had and set the bowl on Ryuji’s bedside table for later.
“You doing okay? You need anything? …Besides water.”
“Don't want water…”
“You're getting water.” Ren sounded so stern... Ryuji sighed heavily.
“... Nnn. Sleep.”
Ren stared at Ryuji for a bit, face neutral again. “... Want a bedtime story then, baby?”
“Not a baby!” It was meant to be a harsh protest but it came out as a whine. Jeez, Ryuji was not helping his own case. Ryuji hid his face again.
Ren laughed above him. “So cute.~”
… Cute?
Ryuji felt his face warm up a little more as Ren wandered off to go get him water. Ren thought he was cute? Did he always think he was cute?
Ryuji pushed the thoughts from his mind and desperately tried to fall back asleep before Ren forced him to drink the stupid water.
No dice. Ryuji heard Ren come back and just stand above him for a moment while he tried his hardest to play dead.
“... I know you're awake.”
Ryuji whined.
“C'mon, just a little and I'll leave you alone.”
Ryuji sighed and sat up a little to take it from him. His body ached a little harder in protest. He knew he needed water and that Ren was just worried about him, so when he took the glass he downed the entire thing, albeit slowly. It… took a little while.
“Now lemme sleep,” Ryuji grumbled, laying back down and hugging his blanket around his shoulders.
Ren chuckled at him again and left the room. Finally, when Ryuji closed his eyes, he slipped into unconsciousness.
-
Ryuji woke up to him and Ren still cuddling in the middle of the night on Ren’s bed. He remembered why they were cuddling, but it still brought a fierce blush to his face. Yeah, it was platonic - Ren had just lost his… well, ex, Ryuji supposed, but regardless. Ren was mourning, and Ryuji was just being a good friend, but…
Ryuji got up to pee, and when he untangled himself from Ren, he made a small noise of protest and reached out for him sleepily. Ryuji blinked in surprise and searched Ren’s face for any sign that he was awake, but no. He was still trying to cuddle Ryuji even in his sleep. God, that was cute.
Ryuji came back upstairs after finishing in the bathroom and hesitantly took his spot back on the bed. He wasn't sure if he should wrap his arms around Ren again, but a half awake Ren made the choice for him - he made another small noise, this time significantly more content, and threw an arm over Ryuji as he buried his face in Ryuji’s chest. Ren ended up laying the side of his head right over Ryuji’s heart, and Ryuji wondered if he could hear how fast it was beating.
This… was super platonic, right? Just best friends being bros? Ryuji couldn't let himself hope that it was more. There was no way Ren liked him.
… Ryuji woke up again. He let out a high-pitched groan as he stretched and felt around for Ren. Wait… no, this… he was in his own room. Right, he was sick. Somehow he felt a little worse this time, and… he'd had such a nice dream, although it was more like a memory, and…
Ryuji stood on shaking legs, throwing his thinnest blanket over his shoulders, and went looking.
He found Ren in the living room sitting on the couch, one leg tucked under him as he scrolled on his phone. He looked up when Ryuji shuffled into view.
“What are you doing? I thought you wanted to sleep.”
Ryuji said nothing, he just approached the couch and flopped down next to Ren. Before Ren could say anything else, he rested his head on his shoulder and leaned on Ren.
“Need you,” Ryuji whined softly.
Ren stiffened next to him but Ryuji was a little too out of it to care. He nuzzled his face into the spot where Ren’s neck met his shoulders. Ryuji could almost feel Ren’s pulse fluttering against his lips with the way he was positioned, and alarm bells went off in his rational mind, but he didn't have the energy to listen to them.
‘Too close, dude! You're making him uncomfortable!’
‘If he was uncomfortable, he'd push you off. This feels nice. Stay.’
The rest of his brain won. This was just part of the whole “getting better” process, right? If cuddling his best friend made him feel better, then it was probably helping him beat the cold or flu or whatever, right?
“You're gonna get me sick,” Ren chided lightheartedly, and Ryuji actually would've backed off if Ren didn't also relax and wrap an arm around him. Now Ryuji’s heart was going all over again.
“‘m not lickin’ you or anything,” Ryuji muttered, and he kinda expected Ren to laugh but he didn't. He stiffened again. …Was it maybe because Ryuji’s mouth was right on his neck? Yeah, that… that might be it. Ryuji mentally shrugged it off. Again, if Ren was uncomfortable, Ryuji was certain that he'd push him away. Ren didn't tend to let people cross his touch boundaries without a fight.
Ren shook his head and relaxed after a couple minutes, focusing on whatever the hell he was doing on his phone. Ryuji couldn't see the screen well, but he was curious.
“Whadya doin’?”
“Reading smut. What does it look like?”
Ryuji’s stupid tired mind believed Ren for a second, shock jolting through his system. He shifted so he could see the phone screen, and it was some boring blocky number game that Ren had clearly put too much time into based on his high score.
“‘s not smut,” Ryuji accused, moving back to where he was. “Fuckin’ liar.”
Ren laughed at him. “Did you want it to be? Why would I read it at your house?”
Ryuji let out a groan that roughly meant ‘I don't know, shut up, I'm doing my best here’. “I will lick you,” Ryuji muttered in a way that was meant to sound threatening.
Ren chuckled for half a second until Ryuji nuzzled a little further into the crook of his neck. Honestly, this really was comfortable. Why didn't he cuddle with Ren more often? He wanted to.
He must've fallen asleep again without realizing, because the next thing he knew, it was dark again and he was being gently ushered to his room by his mother. Ren was practically carrying him on one side, but once he woke up a little more he started holding up his own weight.
Ryuji was plopped onto his bed unceremoniously but that was fine with him. His mother put a cold, wet towel on his forehead once he was settled, and Ren murmured a goodbye and tried to walk away.
Ryuji sleepily tried to grab his arm and missed by a mile. “Nooo, stayyyy, need youuuu…” he whined.
Ren’s breathing hitched and, after a moment, he sighed. “You're so needy,” he teased, but Ryuji was too sleepy to care.
“Need you,” he insisted, though it sounded more tired than anything. “Feel better when you're here.”
Ryuji’s mother let out a small, amused huff but wisely kept her mouth shut about her son being so obvious. “I'll take you home in the morning, Ren,” she said instead. “... After breakfast.”
Ren barely had time to lay down next to Ryuji before he was clinging to the black-haired boy. A laugh bubbled out of Ren’s chest as he tried to adjust himself to a comfortable position, tossing his glasses in the direction of the bedside table. “Give me a second, Ryuji,” he laughed, though he seemed to be moving around just fine.
Ryuji shook his head and clung a little harder before falling asleep.
—
Ren went limp in Ryuji’s arms, finally accepting his fate when he realized the blond was asleep again. He looked over at Yui, still standing in the doorway and smiling in amusement at the two of them.
“Let me know if you need me to help you get free,” she said softly, trying her best to stop laughing.
Ren sighed melodramatically. “I will,” he said solemnly, and she laughed before closing the door.
…But really, why would he want to get free? He was being forcibly cuddled by the guy he’d been in love with for months. Hell, he could die happy here in his arms and his only regret would be not telling Ryuji how he felt.
…It meant nothing, though. Ryuji was just tired and a little delirious, and maybe he was lonely or something and that's why he ‘needed’ Ren. Ryuji didn't see him that way. Didn't see any guy that way. He was straight.
Ren’s traitorous heart still insisted on feeling hope, though.