Chapter Text
“A bachelorette party?” Charlie repeated for the third time that hour. “I don’t know, guys. There’s still a lot of things to do for the hotel—”
“Alastor will take care of it!” Exclaimed Nifty.
“—and all the wedding planning,” Charlie continued.
“Short King and Vagina have it covered,” Angel broke in, earning a glare from Vaggie and a face from Charlie. (“You REALLY need to stop calling my dad that.”) He widened his eyes. “ Seriously . Ever since you guys announced you were getting hitched, he’s been off his rocker, like drawing on the walls insane.”
“Who’s drawing on the walls?” Nifty butted in, eye wide. They all knew she would probably grab a steak knife from the kitchen and march upstairs if someone was actually messing up their walls.
Angel shot her a side glance. “It’s just an expression, Niff,” he said. “But Lucifer’s been hogging the printer printing sample itineraries for your wedding when you haven’t even picked the venue. He’s, like, insane, man. I don’t know.”
“You like insane, don’t you?” Husk’s gruff voice asked from the corner, behind the bar as always.
Angel sent him a flirtatious look. “You know me too well, Whiskers.”
Too which Husk grunted, then huffed, then went back to scrubbing at the same glass that he had been working on for the last ten minutes. He was just looking for an excuse to be in the room, in the same vicinity as Angel. She didn’t know what the fuck was up with those two, and she wanted it to stay that way. She didn’t want to know.
Vaggie only crossed her arms. “Why are you using the printer?”
He rolled his eyes skywards to avoid looking at her. “I wanted to print out some.. special photos.”
“ANGEL!” She exclaimed. “We talked about this! Stop printing out your nude photoshoots! It’s perverted! I mean, what do you even do with them? Tape it on the wall and look at yourself?”
He nodded, only adding more fuel to the fire. “Yeah. Something like that.” He sat up, fixing her with an amused look. “What? Still salty from last time?”
“Yes!” She replied. “Very much so! You left it out and I saw things I didn’t want to see!”
“Don’t be a prude, Vagina,” He said, snorting. “I mean, aren’t lesbians supposed to be all kinky? Don’t you keep your strap ons—“
“OH MY SATAN,” Vaggie growled. “I cannot with you right now!”
Charlie put a hand on Vaggie’s thigh, calming her fiancée. “Okay. Do you want to talk about something else now?”
They sat in the parlor, arranged in their usual formations around the couches. They had come down to talk wedding planning, but it had turned into Angel pleading with Charlie to let him throw her a bachelorette party. (No strippers, I promise! He said with a look at Vaggie, as if expecting her to stab him right then and there.)
Please. This was just Angel’s excuse to go out and get drunk, probably dragging Charlie along to clean up his mess. The thought of Charlie sitting in some shitty night club while her friends drank and snorted God knows what off the bathroom floor, in the name of “celebrating their engagement,” made her eye twitch ever so slightly.
“I still don't know,” Charlie said, biting her lip.
“Toots, it’s a party planned by me and Cherri Bomb,” Angel spoke up, eyes widening with each word. “Do you know how epic our raves are? Do you know how lucky you would be to be graced with our presence? You’d be missing out.”
“Yeah. Missing out on sexually transmitted diseases and blowing people up,” Vaggie deadpanned. Charlie sent her an unsure look.
“And blowing people off,” Angel said, holding a finger up. “Can’t forget about that. Well, you won’t be now that you’ll wifed up and all that sappy bullshit, but I sure will be.”
Vaggie turned on him. “You little—“
“OKAY,” Charlie said, grabbing Vaggie by the shoulders and pulling her back. “Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about something else? The flower arrangements? The weather? Taxes?”
“Oh, let me at him.”
He eyed her up and down. “A little thing like you? Sure.”
“Go choke on the size of your ego!”
“That wouldn’t be the strangest thing I’ve had down my throat,” Angel mused.
“I’m sure the sheer size of it would cut up from the inside,” Vaggie snapped back at him.
“Huh,” he said thoughtfully, pausing. “That is an odd image.”
“I was thinking of crimson orchids myself,” Charlie cut in, trying to detract from the conversation. “Oh, or daisies! You like daisies, right, babe?”
Vaggie leaned back with one last growl. She liked daisies just fine. “For the bouquet can’t we just mount Angel’s head on a stick and call it a day?”
“Well,” Charlie started, left eye twitching. “That’s a little.. morbid, but I can put it on the maybe list.”
“My head’s on a stick everyday,” Angel pointed out nonchalantly. “That’s, like, my job.”
Vaggie groaned. “How do you manage to make everything dirty?”
Angel shrugged, laying down on the couch and looking up at the ceiling. “I didn’t choose the talent, the talent chose me.”
“Wow,” she snapped. “You should put that on a greeting card.”
“Maybe I will. You know, that’s the first good idea that’s come out of your mouth all year—“
Vaggie started to rise, about to open her mouth when Charlie cleared her throat, looking desperate at this point. “I will go!” She exclaimed. “If you two stop, I will go.”
Vaggie fell back onto the couch at the same time Angel rose, two pairs of hands folding together. “Great! I’ll go tell Cherri. We have some planning to do!”
“Oh,” Charlie squeaked. “You do?”
But he was already halfway up the staircase to Cherri’s room. “Wear something nice tonight! You won’t regret this, Princess. I promise.”
Angel’s promises meant next to nothing, at least to her. She couldn’t count the number of times he had promised to do something but abandoned it instead, disappearing for hours on end. Like the time he volunteered to hold the rickety ladder while she was painting a section on one of the walls, then left because Husk had returned with a fresh restock of new alcohol bottles. Thankfully, she had her wings back, but if she didn’t, it would’ve been a whole different story.
Angel disappeared up the stairs and down the hall. Vaggie watched him go with a scowl, folded against the couch with her arms crossed.
Husk let out another grunt. “You’re gonna regret it.”
Charlie furrowed her eyebrows. “I will?”
Husk didn’t reply, still wiping at the same fucking glass. Seriously. How clean could it get? She sent him a silent glare that he only acknowledged with a flick of his ear.
“You don't have to go,” Vaggie told Charlie quickly, placing a hand on her knee and squeezing it. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“No, I want to. I do. They’re just trying to be nice, and they’re my friends,” Charlie said, biting her lip.
“Or just looking for an excuse to get wasted,” Vaggie muttered. They had been busy with a few new guests, a few minor repairs when said new guests got a little too rowdy, and some exercises to actually work towards their goal of redemption.
“They’re so excited about it too,” Charlie continued. “It’s kinda.. cute. Besides, what’s one night off? We’re holed up in here enough, aren’t we?”
Vaggie blinked. Well, she couldn’t argue with that. She often had to drag Charlie kicking and screaming back to bed because she got up to return to work. It was a normal occurrence to wake up to the bed empty and coming downstairs to see Charlie rummaging frantically through the receptionist’s desk. Five more minutes was code for one more hour.
Vaggie had often resorted to threatening to withhold sex if Charlie didn’t return to bed. Charlie actually thought about it most of the time. Her girlfriend or her work. Vaggie just groaned, grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her up the stairs.
“Who are you?” Vaggie asked. “And what have you done with my girlfriend?”
“Fiancée,” Charlie corrected with a hum and a kiss to her temple.
“Even better,” Vaggie replied.
Charlie snickered, then sent her a side glance. “Are you sure you don’t want to go? I mean, it’s our engagement. Yours as much as mine. Don’t you want to celebrate?”
“I’d rather choke on glass,” she retorted. Charlie sent a look and she cringed. “I’m sorry, babe. But the club.. isn’t my thing. A bunch of drunk and high demons in such close proximity? All sweaty and gross and..” She shivered. “I don’t need some rave or party to celebrate us. Being with you is enough. Knowing I get to marry you is an honor.”
“Aw, Vaggie,” Charlie said. She wrapped one arm around her partner and pulled into a side hug. She looked away and let out a small sigh. “But I guess you’re right. You’d probably be arguing with Angel all night, or trying to keep Nifty from drinking bleach. Again.”
Vaggie nodded along, agreeing.
Charlie turned to flash her a smile. “Tell you what, when I come home, I’ll make it up to you.” She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively. “We can celebrate in our own way.”
Vaggie felt her cheeks go warm at her implications (she was totally going to take her up on that offer.. later), hoping Husk wasn’t hearing them. Satan, his teasing could be ruthless when he wanted it to be. It had taken a lot of self control to not make a cat kabob with her spear.
“Speaking of tonight,” she managed. “Is there anything you need to be done? If I’m here, I might as well get stuff done.”
Charlie blinked. “Oh, not really. I don’t want you working too hard, though. You should relax a bit.”
“Babe, it’s fine. You go out and have fun,” she said, then lowered her voice. “And when you come home, then I have my fun.”
It was Charlie’s turn to go red, then her eyes widened and twinkled like they did when she remembered something. “Oh, I almost forgot. My dad is stopping by tonight.”
That didn’t surprise Vaggie. Lucifer stopped by often, just to check over things and catch up with Charlie. He literally just materialized into their lobby and scared the shit out of Vaggie. But he was eager to help. Over the last few months, he had helped rebuild and manage things, making things so much easier with just a snap of his fingers. He had (mostly) patched up his relationship with Charlie and started developing relationships with the other staff and residents, once he could remember their names that was. He even had learned to hold his tongue and not snap at Alastor all the time. Well, mostly.
He stayed so often they gave him one of the best suites on the upper floors. Charlie originally wanted to give him a room next to theirs but Vaggie started to spiral when Lucifer started to gush over the idea, suggesting a room with connecting doors so they could easily access each other’s room. Vaggie could just imagine waking up and seeing her fiancée’s father at the end of the bed. GOODMORNING, GIRLS! TIME TO RISE AND SHINE! WE HAVE A BIG DAY AHEAD OF US!—
She managed to talk Charlie out of it and give him a room a few halls down, still close enough. Babe, he does NOT need to hear it when we— Charlie had gone red and nodded, taking her suggestion.
“Oh, really?” She said, brought back to the moment. “What’s he need?”
“He wanted to get a head start on planning,” Charlie supplied.
Vaggie raised an eyebrow. “Planning?”
“For the wedding?”
“Oh?” Vaggie said. “But I thought that was our job.”
“I told him he could help!” Charlie said.
Vaggie held back her sigh. Of course you did.
Charlie caught the look on Vaggie’s face and frowned. “Oh, come on. He just wants to help. I’m his only child, and I’m only planning on doing this once, so this is his only chance.”
Vaggie nodded, trying to understand. “Yeah. Okay.”
Charlie smiled. “Thank you for understanding, hon. I’m sure you’ll have fun with him tonight.”
Vaggie nodded, then paused. “Wait, what?”
“That’s what you’ll do tonight,” Charlie explained. “Since you’re staying and he’s visiting, it makes the most sense.”
“But,” Vaggie stuttered. “Shouldn’t you be there? I’m marrying you, not your dad!”
“You know what I like,” Charlie said, unconcerned. “Just pick something you’d think I’d like.” She shrugged. “All the little details don’t matter much to me, as long as I’m marrying you.”
“Great. Me too. Why don’t we just skip the whole fancy ceremony thing then? We can just get married here, in our normal clothes—”
“Vaggie,” Charlie said, raising her eyebrows. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Please don’t leave me alone with your dad,” she burst out.
She had nothing against Lucifer, per se. He was nowhere near as scary as the stories made him out to be. He seemed to be a decent guy, trying to be a better father. Maybe that was it. He seemed.. desperate. He was always there. Calling her family, saying to stop calling him ‘sir’. Call me Luci. Call me Dad.
She felt suffocated. This was all still new to her. She never had much of a family, unless you counted her Exorcist sisters, but, personally she didn’t think well-oiled killing machines counted as loving and domestic. She didn't have a family until Charlie and the hotel came around, and even then she didn’t know how it worked. She bickered endlessly with each of them. Even when they gave her a genuine compliment, or quick touch of affection, she searched their face for traces that they were messing with her or just joking.
She wasn’t a very trusting person. That was for sure. But, fuck it, she was trying. For Charlie’s sake, for her own, for the hotel and everyone in it.
“Wait,” Charlie said, eyes narrowing. “Are you afraid of my dad?”
“What?” Vaggie said incredulously. “NO. I just.. afraid isn’t the right word. Intimidated is closer, I suppose.”
“Why?” Charlie asked, face contorting into concern. “Has he ever said or done anything to make you comfortable? I know he can be a bit much, and he’s probably excited that I have a partner that he finally gets to meet, and another fallen angel nonetheless..” She trailed off, pausing. “Wait, is that it? Has he tried reminiscing about Heaven or some shit? He doesn’t know everything about your past, but I could talk to him—“
“No, no. He hasn’t,” she replied quickly, shaking her head. “Charlie, it’s fine. Really. I’ll just deal with it.”
Charlie stopped, gaze flickering back and forth as she studied her fiancée. “Think of it as a spider.”
Vaggie squinted. “What?”
“A lot of people are afraid of spiders,” Charlie started. “But they’re small, and mostly harmless.”
“Harmless?” Vaggie echoed. “Babe, I’ve seen your dad blast people out of the sky because they laid a finger on you. And he would’ve ended it all if it wouldn’t have been for you.”
“Key word: mostly,” Charlie said. “But my point is that if you’re afraid of him, he’s probably more afraid of you.”
“Huh,” Vaggie said. “He’s afraid of me?”
Well, she guessed that checked out. He always seemed lost in thought, jumpy. When she came up behind him or called his name, he usually flinched, voice high and squeaky. He gave her weird looks when she had her spear in hand and sometimes would send glances to the top of her head, where her halo used to be. Sometimes she caught him staring at her, like staring staring, like he could see into her soul. Like he could see each of his people she had killed.
But did that matter to him? He seemed to always have a sense of apathy towards Sinners anyway.
“Huh,” she said again. “I could see that.”
“You two just need to spend some time together to sort it all out. And what’s better than wedding planning? Making plans for the future— how wholesome!” Charlie chattered excitedly. “And he’s already talking about the honeymoon! He knows some good spots from when he traveled with Mom. I’m sure he still has a few good vacation houses tucked away somewhere. And now that we know that you’re not a Sinner, you can travel between Rings and—“
“Charlie,” Vaggie retorted. “Babe. One thing at a time.”
Charlie took a breath. “Right. Sorry. I’m just really, really excited to be marrying you. Like, I just wake up and I’m like holy shit, I’m marrying Vaggie!! And I can’t wait to start our future together, and travel, and, Satan, I love the hotel and our friends, but it’ll be nice to..”
“Get away?” Vaggie finished as Charlie paused, out of breath. Vaggie leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “You know I think it’s cute when you ramble.”
Charlie accepted the kiss. It was quiet for a moment, then she spoke up. “So, it’s settled,” she said. “You’ll start the wedding planning with my Dad tonight and then you can show me when I get back. Oh, it’ll be great. I can’t wait to see it!”
Then Charlie was jumping up and practically squealing. “I better go call Dad! And start getting ready,” she said in a rush. She took a deep breath and kissed Vaggie’s cheek in one swoop. “I love you, and I’ll see you later tonight, okay? Whew. It’s gonna be a good night. I can feel it!”
Charlie quickly left the room, trotting up the stairs. At her current pace, Vaggie was surprised she didn’t fall and land right on her face. When her fiancée was excited and determined to do something, nothing seemed to stop her. Lord help anyone who got in her way.
That left Vaggie alone in the parlor, slumping against the couch in defeat.
“ Yay,” she said, sliding down the back of the sofa. She imagined the awkward night ahead of her with no one but her future father-in-law. “I can’t wait.”