Chapter Text
It wasn’t like an obsession or anything, no matter what Tolkien said. It was just a crush. A tiny, insignificant crush. One that had gone on for a few years, sure, but that’s normal.
Really it started a few weeks before 8th grade. 13-year-old Craig had been skateboarding past the park by his house. He had been on his way to Clyde’s. That wasn’t important or anything, but it was something he remembered. He hadn't been paying attention to what was going on around him and had been focused on the music he was listening to while trying not to fall off his board.
Over the blaring music, he heard shouting, so he looked up to see Kyle and Cartman loudly arguing. Nothing out of the ordinary there, but the only thought Craig had going through his head was ‘oh wow’ because there, playing basketball with Stan and his douchebag friends, was a very shirtless Tweek Tweak. Craig was stunned at the sight of the other boy's pale skin glowing in the sunlight.
And, look, it’s not like Craig didn’t already know he was gay at that point. At least, he was pretty sure he was since he wasn’t really into girls. But while celebrities and guys he saw online were hot, he hadn’t ever thought a guy he actually knew could be that attractive.
Craig was quickly jolted out of his daze by suddenly slamming into a metal bike rack while his board flew out from underneath him. He pulled his headphones from his ears to the sound of laughing coming from the worst people on earth. Great.
“Yo, Craig, there’s a bike rack there!” Stan shouted between laughs. All the other guys laughed and looked at him like he was the stupidest person on the planet. Which he certainly felt like. Craig flipped them off, grabbed his board and pushed off to ride away, trying to ignore the jeers following his retreat. He turned back once he was far enough away to see Tweek getting his hair ruffled by Kenny.
He sighed and continued on. He didn’t think Tweek was hot or whatever. It was just a shock to see him shirtless. Probably just a fluke.
Yeah, it was sooooo not a fluke. The school year started soon after, and he quickly learned that, yeah, he was definitely attracted to Tweek. Which was fine and easily something he could ignore if it hadn't been for their shared gym class. As it turned out, Tucker and Tweak were pretty close in the alphabet, so naturally, their lockers were right next to each other.
Even though they had lived down the street from each other their entire lives, they weren’t exactly friends. That being said, aside from a brutal fight in the 3rd grade which had landed them both in the hospital for concussions, they got along well enough. They never hung out or anything but Craig didn’t hold any grudges.
Luckily their gym class gave them the opportunity to get to know each other and oh boy, did Craig learn a lot about Tweek. For example, he learned he smelled like coffee every day, had clearly defined muscles from boxing, and was pretty funny in his own weird way. Craig grew to not only think Tweek was the hottest guy he knew but also like actually really cool and interesting. He quickly developed a crush on the shorter boy.
Hormones constantly raging, he tried his best to keep his eyes up when Tweek changed next to him. He even tried to casually talk to him in the locker room but continually got tongue-tied around the other, very shirtless boy. He didn’t think Tweek noticed though, and he just hoped no one else did either.
As his feelings grew, he began having a hard time talking to Tweek outside of the locker room too, which was something he hadn’t experienced before with anyone else. Tweek probably thought he was so weird. Who goes from speaking in full sentences to being a complete mess around someone?
One incident was particularly embarrassing. They had been standing next to each other in the lunch line and somehow none of their friends were around, so Tweek, polite as ever, turned to him and nervously asked, “H-hey Craig, how’re you?”
That was it. Nothing weird or mean or anything bizarre. Just ‘how are you?’ A normal question. Craig did not give a normal answer.
Instead, he stuttered out, “I-I’m good. Y-yeah. Just G-getting lunch. Ya know. L-like you. Are. Ummm.. how are you?” He then made the mistake of making eye contact with the green-eyed boy which made it so much worse because then he couldn't look away.
Tweek looked back with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth open in confusion. Probably baffled that Craig was having a stroke in front of him. “I’m good?” He responded though and looked away to grab a tray and start moving through the lunch line.
Ugh. Craig still chided himself for being so lame and embarrassing.
After a few months, he finally got used to changing next to Tweek in the locker room. He even developed the ability to carry on a normal conversation with him sometimes. Shirtless or not. Craig considered that progress.
Then Bebe’s 14th birthday party brought everything crashing down. It started off relatively okay, just kind of boring. He had been sitting on the couch in the basement, sipping a soda, while Kenny McCormick and Clyde sat on either side of him, talking about something stupid. Probably. He was doing his best to ignore them.
Tweek was pretty good friends with Bebe so was at the party as well. Craig hadn't seen him yet but idly looked around the room to catch sight of his wild blonde hair. He actually did that a lot and would subconsciously start searching for the other boy almost everywhere he went. South Park was a pretty small town.
He finally caught sight of Tweek across the room, arms linked with the birthday girl and laughing hysterically. Craig pondered the pair for a bit and decided they were probably dating. It made sense. Of course, Tweek would be straight and even if he wasn’t, he would want to be with someone fun and happy like Bebe. Certainly not someone grumpy and boring like Craig.
Clyde pulled him out of this spiral by poking his side to get his attention. “What are you staring at?” He asked, following his line of sight. “Are you staring at Bebe? Dude! You know I like her.”
That was true. Everyone knew Clyde liked Bebe and had since forever. He never shut the fuck up about it. Craig was definitely not staring at her but couldn’t exactly tell Clyde who he was staring at. He wasn’t out to Clyde yet, or anyone for that matter.
“No, fuck off. I wasn’t staring at anything. I was just zoning out.” he replied flatly, hoping that would end the discussion.
“That better be true, dude, because if you like Bebe, then there’s no way I have a chance with her.”
He shrugged Clyde off and rolled his eyes before glancing at Kenny to his left who was intently watching their interaction. Kenny then turned his attention to Bebe and Tweek across the room and back like he was trying to figure something out. Oh god. Craig hopped up and walked away to hopefully district Kenny from whatever he might put together. There was no way he was dealing with that right now.
As soon as he crossed the room to Tolkien and Nichole who were sharing a loveseat in the corner, Bebe yelled out, “Let’s play spin the bottle!”
Well, there was no way in hell Craig was going to do that, so he took the seat that Tolkien abandoned and watched half the kids in the room form a circle in the middle of the room while the other half looked on. Bebe had Tweek in an iron grip next to her which almost made Craig give in and join the game but he quickly shook that thought off. With his luck, he would have to kiss Cartman.
Instead, he watched from the loveseat and noticed Clyde, Kenny, Stan, Wendy, and some others had also joined. The game started and proceeded pretty normal: Bebe kissed Stan quickly not wanting to upset Wendy, Stan kissed Red on the cheek, Red kissed Clyde a little deeper than necessary, Clyde kissed Annie, and on and on until Nichole spun Kenny.
They had a normal smooch before Kenny took his turn to spin the bottle. And he spun Tweek. Some of the group laughed and Tweek himself flushed a bright red but giggled shyly. Kenny just smirked while Bebe clapped excitedly. Shockingly, Tweek was the first to say something. “You don’t have to, Ken.” He offered, sounding embarrassed.
“Oh please,” Kenny scoffed and moved to his knees. “C’mere.”
From the loveseat, Craig couldn't take his eyes off what was unfolding in front of him. Tweek slowly moved to meet Kenny in the middle of the circle. When their lips met, Craig could hear his heart pounding in his ears. This kiss was much, much deeper than any of the previous kisses. Kenny’s hand moved to Tweeks face as their lips moved against each other. After what felt like forever, they separated and moved back to their original spots.
Tweek was bright red when he sat down. He held his hands in front of his eyes but was definitely slightly smiling. Even Kenny looked a little flushed but still had that stupid smirk on his face. Bebe laughed loudly, “That was so hot.” She said which ended the awkward silence. Quickly the room started talking and laughing again. Finally, Tweek grabbed the bottle for his turn and everyone moved on.
Craig, however, could not move on. For days after the party ended, he kept replaying Tweek and Kennys kiss in his head. He had never once regretted joining a kissing game up to that point.
Afterwards, it was like Craig couldn't even look at Tweek without imagining them kissing. Sitting next to him in English class and changing next to him in the locker room became awkward again. When he started having dreams about doing more than kissing with Tweek, he thought it might be time to actively keep his distance. Of course, that didn’t stop him from searching for the other boy everywhere or staring at him when he didn’t think anyone would notice.
He had also noticed Tweek and Kenny spending more time together after Bebe’s party. The thought made him vaguely upset, but he wasn’t sure why. They were both straight, especially Kenny, who had been obsessed with boobs since the third grade.
As the rest of 8th grade passed, Craig found himself excited for the summer and getting the fuck out of South Park and away from all the new emotions he was feeling. Normally he hated summer camp but for once, he was looking forward to it.
With camp came Thomas. They met for the first time on the second day of camp. The other boy had Tourette’s and had an outburst in the dining hall one morning during breakfast. Everyone around was staring and judging but Thomas didn’t let that bother him and just continued with his breakfast. Craig admired that kind of bravery.
At lunch that day, Craig asked Thomas if he could sit with him. He was apparently used to sitting alone so was confused but nodded his agreement anyway with wide eyes. They made conversation and found that they actually had a lot in common.
They became inseparable after that day.
If Craig was being honest, he thought Thomas was cute. He had enormous eyes, blonde hair, and a great sense of humor. Craig didn’t get the butterflies or nervousness he got around Tweek, but considered that a good thing. At least he could hold a fucking conversation with Thomas.
Towards the end of camp, the two boys were sitting on the dock during free time when Thomas brought up something they hadn't talked about yet.
“Have you ever -SHIT- kissed anyone before?” He asked Craig seemingly randomly because they had just been discussing Red Racer.
“Uh yeah. A few people. Why?” This was true, but they had all been girls, so they kind of didn't count.
“O-oh no reason. I just -FUCK-don’t know if I’ll ever get to kiss someone. You know?” Thomas shrugged and looked away.
“Why?” Craig asked confused before he realized what Thomas meant. “Because of the Tourette’s?”
Thomas just nodded.
“That’s stupid, dude. You’re great and super cute. Anyone would be lucky to kiss you.” Craig didn’t even realize what he said until Thomas looked at him in shock.
“You think -SHIT- you think I’m cute?”
Craig quickly tried to think of how he could save this. “I mean l-like objectively s-sure. You’re cute.”
Thomas tilted his head and frowned. “Craig, are you -FUCK- are you gay?”
Craig sputtered, and his eyes widened. Oh, no. “N-no! Don’t be ridiculous!”
“It-it’s fine if you are.”
“Well, I’m not,” he replied sharply. “So case closed.” He was getting abnormally upset, and his breathing was picking up.
Thomas hummed but said nothing. He put his hand on Craig’s shoulder to comfort him and give him time to calm down.
Craig closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. “I’ve never said it to someone else before. I’m sorry for making this weird. Yes. I’m gay.”
“Okay. I’m -FUCK- I’m proud of you.”
Craig just rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”
They were quiet for a while.
“H-have you -SHIT- ever kissed a boy before?” Thomas asked suddenly.
“Umm no.”
“Would you want to kiss m-me?
Craig was confused. He took a deep breath to calm himself. There was no way Thomas was fucking with him. Or making fun of him. He wasn’t a mean dude. Right?
“I mean. Yeah…?” He said this as a question, still confused by whatever was happening.
Thomas blinked at him as if waiting for something. Oh! He wanted Craig to kiss him. Right here and now. Okay wow!
He thought back to the kiss between Tweek and Kenny and how that made him feel. Okay. He could do this.
Craig leaned forward and put his hands on Thomas’s shoulders. He brought his face closer to the other boys until their lips met. He pressed them together softly for a fleeting moment before he pulled away. Their faces were still close, and before Craig could react or move away, Thomas leaned up and kissed him again. Craig felt his eyes flutter closed and moved one hand to Thomas's cheek. He felt Thomas's mouth part as their lips moved, so he went for it and deepened the kiss.
They ended up kissing there on the dock for longer than expected. It was nice kissing another boy, much nicer than Craig expected. It was something he could get used to. Eventually, It was getting dark, so they parted ways and went to their own cabins. They didn’t end up kissing again during the last few days of camp, but they talked about what happened. Thomas said he wasn’t sure if he was gay and didn’t want to lead Craig on. Craig liked Thomas well enough but saw him as more of a friend, so he wasn’t upset by that. They exchanged numbers and promised to text, but since they lived a couple hours away from each other, it wasn’t a big deal. Still, Craig went home to South Park feeling like a completely new person.
Well, to an extent, at least. But he did finally feel ready to come out to more people. For some reason, he started with Tricia. He and his sister weren’t that close, but it felt like the thing to do. He walked into her room without knocking one afternoon while she was still in bed.
“Hey, Tricia.” He said to get her attention.
She looked up from her phone and glared at him. “What do you want, asshole?”
“I’m gay.” He replied simply and turned to leave. Before he got too far, he felt arms wrap around him from behind and turned back to her confused. He hadn't expected a hug from her. He didn’t even remember the last time they hugged.
She was looking up at him with big, watery eyes. “That’s great,” She said seriously for an eleven-year-old. “Thank you for telling me.” At least she didn’t say she was proud of him.
He smiled slightly and hugged her back. Definitely not the reaction he expected but not bad.
“You’re still an asshole, though.” She mumbled into his chest. He laughed and nodded his agreement.
The next ones up were his parents which felt like something that he should plan out more. He didn’t think it would be a terrible reaction, but he honestly wasn't sure with his dad who had a tendency to have more old school opinions.
One night when Tricia was spending the night with a friend, he sat them down on the couch after dinner.
“Mom. Dad. I have something I want to tell you.”
His parents looked at each other nervously.
“Okay, Craig. What’s up?” His mom said softly and a little warily.
“Well… you see. Well,” He started nervously. No, it was better to get it out quickly. “ I’m gay.”
His mom's eyes widened in shock while his dad’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. They didn’t say anything for a few moments.
She was the one who spoke first. “Oh, Craig! I'm so proud of you for telling us.” She got up and pulled him into a tight hug. “This doesn’t change anything. I love you no matter what.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. At least she didn’t hate him. “Thank you, Mom.” He croaked. He had promised himself he wouldn’t get emotional no matter the response.
His dad still hadn’t responded but when he cleared his throat, both Craig and his mom looked over. “Of course, we support you son. Umm, and are you sure?”
“Uh yeah…” Craig started, but his mom interrupted before he could say anything else.
“Of course, he’s sure, Thomas, you idiot. Now come hug your son.” She said through gritted teeth.
His dad got up, and they hugged somewhat awkwardly. He was relieved when they broke apart and his dad gave him a genuine smile. “I love you, Craig. I will always support you.”
Craig guessed he really couldn’t expect a better reaction. Especially because his dad gave him $100 later that night for no reason. Weird.
A few days later, he needed an excuse to get out of the house, and figured he might as well tell his friends, so he texted the group to see if they were free. They were all available and met at Tolkien’s house for a movie night.
Craig believed it was better to rip the bandaid off in most cases, so when he arrived and noticed Clyde and Jimmy were already there, he decided it was as good a time as any. Once he came out to his friends, he would be done with this whole thing and never have to talk about himself ever again.
He interrupted Clyde and Tolkien fighting over what movie to watch first. “Hey, guys. Can you shut up for a second? I have something I need to tell you.”
“Oh no, you’re dating Bebe! Aren’t you? I knew it!” Clyde immediately jumped to his own personal worst-case scenario. It’s something that had come up a few times since Bebe’s party. Maybe this would get him to finally let it go. Maybe.
Craig rolled his eyes. “Shut the fuck up, Clyde. That’s not it.”
“Let him talk, Clyde! Not everything is about you or Bebe, for that matter.” Tolkien added helpfully.
“Well, what would you be so serious about? Oh, my god! You’re moving? Noooo!” Clyde cried. “Not my best friend moving!”
Jimmy started at that. “W-w-what are we? Ch-ch-chopped liver?”
“Guys! Let Craig talk.” Tolkien shouted over Clyde’s whining.
“Thanks, Tolkien.” God, his friends sucked sometimes. “Anyway, as I was saying, I need to tell you…” he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could do this. They would still be his friends. They weren’t homophobic. “I need to tell you… that I’m…gay.”
He didn’t hear anything for a second, so he opened his eyes to see Clyde’s eyes wide, Jimmy's mouth hanging open, even Tolkien seemed a little speechless.
Tolkien was the first to react. “I didn’t expect that,” he said slowly and quickly added, “Of course, this doesn’t change anything. I’m still your friend. I still love and support you.”
“Yes, of c-c-course! Thank you for t-t-t-t-tell-letting us know.” Jimmy added once he recovered. “I’m pr-pr-proud of you.”
Craig was a little embarrassed now. He was glad his friends supported him and everything, but still. He smiled slightly at them in thanks. Clyde had said nothing, so all three boys glanced at him.
Clyde seemed to realize everyone was looking at him, so he shook off the shock and jumped off the couch. He seemed to focus on Craig, who was getting a little concerned. Suddenly Clyde jumped on him, and Craig flinched before he realized Clyde was hugging him with so much force he couldn’t breathe.
“Bro… I will always love you no matter what. I’m so happy you told me,” Clyde whispered in his ear with a watery voice. “You are my best friend forever, whoever you love. Nothing will ever change that.” A few tears had leaked out of his eyes when he pulled back.
If Craig was the type to get emotional, he would have cried with Clyde at those words.
He felt more arms wrap around them and noticed Tolkien and Jimmy had joined them in a group hug. Eventually, Craig pushed everyone off him but thanked them for their support. This was really the best reaction he could expect.
They talked about it for a few minutes to allow the other boys to ask questions. Craig asked them to not tell anyone else, but that it wasn’t a big secret. He just liked to be private about his personal life.
Finally, Tolkien went to pick a movie and get the night back on track. While he was putting it on, Jimmy turned to Craig.
“S-s-s-so Craig. Do you have a cr-cr-cr- do you like someone?”
Craig just groaned and dropped his head in his hands while his friends laughed around him. That was answer enough, really.
High school started a couple weeks later, and Craig had never been so glad to have such a good group of friends. Sure, there were more students now, but he was still subjected to the same kids he had always known. It's almost like it made that group of kids from elementary school closer than ever. It was like every party, every sporting event, or whatever, Craig was surrounded by people he didn’t even like from elementary and middle school. Including, but not limited to, Stan and his douchebag friends. And Tweek, who he did very much still like.
Summer had clearly been amazing for Tweek. He had gotten a little taller, more muscular, and his blonde hair seemed even blonder somehow. Craig couldn’t help but stare longingly every time he saw him. Unfortunately, they didn’t share too many classes that year except for the same lunch. During one of these lunches, Craig’s friends finally noticed what he had been staring at for the last few weeks instead of joining their conversations.
“Dude, what are you looking at?” Clyde finally asked, bewildered, when he once again tried to talk to him, and Craig just hummed in response.
Clyde must have followed his eyes because he snapped loudly. “Oh, my god! I know who you have a crush on!” They had been trying to get it out of him for weeks.
Craig twisted his gaze away from Tweek to glare at Clyde. “Shut up, Clyde.”
“What, who?” Tolkien asked curiously. He was just as much of a gossip as Clyde but would never admit it.
“Clyde, you’re wrong. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Craig warned.
“No, no. Craig, you can’t gaslight me. I have it all figured out,” Clyde taunted. “You’ve liked him for a long time, haven’t you? Since Bebes birthday last year!”
Craig kicked Clyde under the table, to which the shorter boy hissed in pain and pouted. But it was too late and Craig knew it. Clyde could be surprisingly perceptive when he wanted to be.
Somehow this made Jimmy get it too. “O-o-oh! Yeah, fair enough.” He laughed at Craig’s misery. “That k-k-kiss even made me ex-ex-ex-excited.”
“What kiss?” Tolkien asked, confused. He was rarely the one out of the loop on stuff. In fact, that was usually Clyde. “Who does Craig have a crush on?”
Craig put his forehead on the table in defeat and groaned. “I liked him before that stupid party.”
Clyde and Jimmy laughed, and Clyde manually turned Tolkien’s head towards Tweek's table, where he was sitting next to Kenny and laughing about something on his phone.
“Oh, that kiss! You like Kenny?” Tolkien asked, shocked and a little disgusted. That would have shocked and disgusted Craig too. Ew, no.
Which he would have said in no uncertain terms if Clyde hadn't beat him to the punch. “No, dude! He likes Tweek.”
“Tweek?” Tolkien considered the idea and hummed. “Yeah, I can see that. You guys would be cute together.”
“Well, he’s straight, so that’s not gonna happen,” the table muffled Craig but could feel how red and hot his face was.
Clyde snorted. “I don’t know about that dude. He seemed pretty into that kiss. And you know, he and Kenny seem really close.”
Craig’s stomach dropped. Yeah, believe it or not, he had noticed that development too, and didn’t enjoy thinking about the implications. He didn’t bother responding to Clyde and glanced back at Tweek, who was talking animatedly to Kyle and gesturing to his phone.
After that, his friends started teasing him about the crush, which made him a little more confident to finally talk about it. In private, at least. This only incited them to make fun of his ‘obsession’ with Tweek. It wasn’t an obsession. It was a crush. A totally normal crush.
Craig had come to the begrudging conclusion that Tweek was straight. Mostly because, while yes, Kenny was always hanging off of him, so was Bebe. They were super close actually. Clyde, who was sort of, sometimes dating Bebe, said they were just good friends. Craig wasn’t so sure.
This opinion drastically changed one day at lunch. In fact, that one afternoon gave Craig hope he had never dared to have before.
During said lunch, Craig and his friends were, unfortunately, at a table closer to Stan and his friends than usual. Someone had nicked their table, and now they were forced to hear the garbage spewing out of Cartman's mouth. He could honestly kill those table thieves.
He was trying to tune out Cartman and Kyle’s incessant arguing when Tweek interrupted to say something to Kyle. This aggrieved Cartman apparently because he turned his wrath on Tweek.
“No one cares about your opinion, you stupid fag!” Cartman shouted loudly.
Being used to Cartman’s bullshit, Craig rolled his eyes and tried to tune out his voice. He had learned it did no good to be upset by it. Also, maybe he didn’t want Cartman to turn on him.
However, something very unexpected happened. Tweek stood from his seat and leaned over Cartman. Craig kept his eye on the events unfolding next to him but didn’t dare move.
“Yeah, so what if I am?” Tweek replied lowly, glaring at Cartman.
Cartman’s eyes widened in shock. As did Stan and Kyle’s. Kyle, however, was the one to ask, “Wait, what?”
“I’m gay, and I don’t care what Cartman or anyone else has to say about it,” Tweek responded loudly. Half the lunch room was looking over by that point. Well, that was certainly one way to come out.
Tweek seemed to realize what he just did because his eyes widened, and he started visibly shaking. Craig wanted so badly to get up and comfort him, tell him it would be okay, and lead him out of the lunchroom to somewhere more private. But he was frozen in his seat, his mouth gaping.
Everyone around them started whispering about what happened. Cartman started laughing loudly and yelling, “I knew it! I told everyone he was a homo.” As Kyle told him to shut up.
Kenny was the one to throw an arm around Tweek and lead him out of the lunchroom.
It seemed like after Tweek came out to half the school, he and Kenny became closer than ever. Craig’s crush only seemed to grow as well. For a while, he wanted to say something to Tweek, tell him he was gay too, and that he liked him, but he just couldn’t seem to do it. Between getting tongue-tied around the other boy and the fact that they were never alone together. Like ever. It seemed like a lost cause.
But a couple years made a big difference because by the time junior year started, Craig was sure something had changed and he was finally ready to make a move. He would ask Tweek out. Soon.