Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I have good news to present to the court.” Agravaine seemed pleased with himself, which automatically meant that Merlin was now on high alert. Merlin didn’t care what he said, Agravaine sparsely ever had good news, or at the very least his good news were Merlin’s personal worst nightmares.

“Oh good. We could use some good news once in a while.” Of course, Arthur saw that very differently. A smile graced his lips, one of the polite ones he only presented in court. The earnestness in his gaze was hidden under a well constructed poker face. A poker face that to Merlin was practically invisible at this point. “Please go on.”

A little bit of sunshine rimlighted Arthur’s outlines in a golden hue and sat as a crown of light on his golden hair. Merlin loved the sight of his King, confident and comfortable in his position at the table he had established. Arthur Pendragon had fought and bled for his place at this table more than anyone else around him. Except maybe Merlin, but Merlin didn’t HAVE a seat at this table. Not that Merlin wanted one, he felt very comfortable in Arthur’s shadow, watching his back and helping him wherever and whenever he could. Today, Merlin was positioned at the door near the exit. Even if Arthur were to send out everyone for a private meeting with a single knight, maybe even to be alone, Merlin would always remain. The only one able to move about as he wished, the only one trusted near Arthur’s most vulnerable moments and most private of thoughts was no other than his manservant. Merlin could not be prouder of who he was.

“Sire -” Agravaine rose to his feet, smirking in what was supposed to be a kind expression as he looked around the table. “I have received word of King Sarrum of Amata. It appears -,” he paused for dramatic effect, “he has managed to capture a dragon.”

The audience broke into murmurs and mutters. Merlin, however, was immediately dragged out of his daydreams and tensed into an almost militarian stance.

Arthur raised his hand to quieten the table. “I’m sorry, what did you say? There are no dragons left, uncle.”

That was wrong. Merlin bit his lip, trying to stifle his internal battle with panic. There were precisely two dragons left but he couldn’t imagine that Kilgharrah would be stupid enough to get himself caught by any King. Let alone one known for his cruelty. The younger one, Aithusa, Merlin’s priced little Dragon baby, lacked the experience and was naive to a fault. Merlin’s fear was then immediately confirmed as Agravaine pulled out a scroll with a sketch on it.

“It appears that we have missed one. King Sarrum has informed me that it is a white Dragon. Even in the history books, the white Dragons were rare, Sire. The mere fact that he managed to achieve such a feat -”

“Is it secure?” Arthur sounded concerned. It would be like balm to Merlin’s bleeding heart if he didn’t know exactly that Arthur wasn’t asking for her safety.

“King Sarrum has confirmed that the Dragon will not be able to escape. We won’t have to fear it, I can assure you of that.”

Arthur shook his head and rose himself. As he did so, Agravaine politely sat back down to give Arthur the word. “You weren’t there when the great Dragon attacked, uncle.” Arthur reached for the scroll to inspect Aithusa’s features for himself. “One cannot know how secure the creature is, and I cannot risk uncertainty in these trying times. We would do well to arrange a meeting with King Sarrum and inspect the treatment of this Dragon ourselves. I’m sure that he will be agreeable to this request. After all, my father had the great Dragon imprisoned for over twenty years before it escaped. It would be beneficial for us all to exchange our methods and concerns, so that we can prevent the Dragon from ever escaping.”

The words felt like stabs to Merlin’s already pained heart. It was hard to listen to this, to watch the knights agree and the servants to exchange relieved glances. It hurt because Merlin had not known about this. He had been sure Aithusa was free and safe. He had failed her and he had to learn it in an environment where he was meant to be grateful and happy about the development. His only solace for his guilt and pain was Gaius who sent him a worried glance. Merlin steeled his heart in order to survive this meeting.

Thankfully, they had been near the end of the discussion as Arthur sent anyone out of the courtroom. As soon as they were gone, he stood up to move to the window, then back, then he twirled rather happily on his heels, increasingly pleased with himself. Only as the final person had left and the heavy door clicked shut, did Arthur address Merlin. “Did you hear that?”

“I did, Sire.”

“I’m honestly not sure whether to be terrified that there is ANOTHER dragon out there, or grateful for this chance to learn more about how to defeat these monsters.”

Merlin pressed his lips in a straight line as Arthur kept nervously scratching his neck and then stalking around the room like a nervous deer.

At the non reaction, Arthur snapped his full attention to Merlin. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. I know that face. You’re bothered.” Arthur squinted at him. “You don’t have to be scared, Merlin. I admit that last time was -” He didn’t finish that sentence. “However, the circumstances are different this time! Agravaine will arrange a meeting and we will be able to see how secure the dragon is. It will be fine, I promise you.” By now, Arthur had stepped closer to Merlin to put a hand on his shoulder. It was meant to calm him but Merlin found the hollowness in his heart widen at those words.

“Of course, Sire.”

Arthur watched him for a moment, scanned his expression as if searching for something, then clapped his shoulder again. “Come on. There is no need for you to make that face.”

Merlin debated with himself whether to speak his mind or not, found his brain and heart urging him to speak up, and yet he bit his lip deeper than before. Finally, as Arthur had already turned away to pick up his sword from its place on the table, Merlin took a deep breath. “I’m not sure that what Agravaine said is good news,” he admitted.

Arthur let his head fall to the neck as he let the sword dangle at his arm. “I understand that the idea of a dragon being alive is terrifying, but -”

“That’s not it.”

Arthur turned around, eyebrows raised. “Then what is it?” As Merlin didn’t immediately answer, Arthur rolled his eyes. “Out with it, Merlin.”

“I don’t like the idea of it being imprisoned.”

Arthur let out a disbelieving laugh. Then, his expression fell. “Seriously? What, you want him to set it free? This isn’t a hunting trip where you can distract me so I won’t kill those rabbits-” Merlin opened his mouth to respond but Arthur shushed him in the motion, “We both know you’re doing that, so shut up, will you.” He sighed. “This is a dragon! A murderous, fire breathing MONSTER that could destroy half of Camelot in a day if it wants to. You can’t tell me you want it free!”

Merlin clapped his mouth shut. “It’s just -”

“Just what?” Arthur was growing to be impatient.

“The great dragon was imprisoned for twenty years before it attacked. I just imagine that if I were imprisoned for that long, I’d be pretty pissed, that’s all. I don’t see how it’s wise to repeat the same -”

“Mistake?” Arthur looked flabbergasted, while Merlin mentally retreated. “You want to say it was a mistake to keep the Great Dragon locked away? Have you lost your mind? Haven’t you seen what he did?”

“I have.”

“Have you?!” Arthur had the expression of someone who didn’t want to understand, so Merlin decided to let it go. “Because that sounds to me like you’ve conveniently forgotten how many lives the creature took!”

“I haven’t.”

“Your FRIENDS, Merlin!” Arthur looked almost furious now, with his brows drawn into a frown. “How can you excuse that beast?” He shook his head as he turned away, as if disappointed in Merlin. “Do not speak to me about this again. You’re dismissed.”

“Of course, Sire.” Merlin bowed, for once not mockingly, then he left the room. It was rare for Merlin to speak so formally to Arthur and he could feel Arthur staring after him as he closed the door. Merlin exhaled as he leaned his forehead against the wooden door. He was glad that he could be open about his opinion, but it was difficult not to be able to explain the reason behind his words. He knew traveling to King Sarrum’s kingdom would be difficult for him, for THEM. But, as Merlin inhaled deeply, he knew he would have to commit treason once again. Dragons had to be free. It was Merlin’s duty to set her free. After all, he was the Last Dragonlord.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Merlin had many bad habits. He grew quiet when he was upset. He sputtered when he was caught lying, and he was incredibly nosy. All those qualities marked him as an idiot who could not keep a secret for the life of him, despite the fact that he was keeping a dozen secrets and more that could actually cost him his life. And because Merlin was nosy, he heard the knights and Arthur gossiping about him behind his back.

They were close to the border of Amata, not far from the castle. Merlin was feeding the horses while the knights huddled around the warm fire to talk, when Merlin heard Gwaine speak up first.

“Merlin has been quiet.”

“You’ll never shut up about Merlin, do you?,” Arthur groaned and took a sip from his water satchel before handing it to Elian. “He’s upset with me.”

Gwaine raised a brow. “Why? Because you’re using him as our only servant on this tour, you make him carry all the stuff, do all the work, depend on him as being our travel physician AND insult him to his face?” Gwaine listed those things off his fingers, making Merlin twitch a smirk.

“Shut up, that’s not it.” Arthur sighed. He pulled up one knee to hug it closer to his chest, which must be uncomfortable underneath all that armor.

“So, it IS your fault. Glad we cleared that up.” Gwaine grinned mockingly at him. Arthur kicked him.

“I did nothing wrong! Merlin is just being a girl, as usual.” Arthur rolled his eyes, causing Merlin’s smile to fall.

“You know? That’s your problem, princess. You always call him a girl and then pretend what he says isn’t valid. Why don’t you try listening to him for once?”

“Hey, YOU call ME PRINCESS!”

“That’s because you ARE one. I still take you seriously.”

Arthur groaned. “Merlin is upset because he thinks the dragon shouldn’t be captured.”

Gwaine paused, the other knights exchanged glances. Lancelot spoke up next. “Wait, seriously? Did he tell you why?”

Arthur sighed. “He said something like that capturing the Great Dragon only made it mad, or something like that. Like there hadn’t been a reason why it was captured in the first place!”

“Sire -” That was Sir Kay, one of their younger knights. He hadn’t been in Camelot for very long and Merlin distrusted him for how close he was to Agravaine. “You’re not telling me you let your servant speak to you that way.”

“Merlin just told me what’s on his mind, that’s all.” Arthur waved it off, albeit uncomfortably. “Still, it’s rare that he and I disagree like that.”

It was silent among them for a moment and Merlin decided he’d spoiled Llamrey enough. He didn’t want to know where this was going. Where he would normally go and sit by the fire, he now feared that he’d be asked to explain himself, so he went to gather more firewood instead. He couldn’t explain this, not without telling them the truth about himself. Not without risking losing Arthur’s trust.

Striving through the woods calmed Merlin’s raging heart. Between his worry for Aithusa and his wariness of what Agravaine had discussed with King Sarrum beforehand, Merlin needed a moment of peace. He could only find that in the magic of nature. Between the trees, the moss, the flowers and the river. The air was fresher here, tangling with his own magic and providing a comfort that people simply couldn’t.

Merlin bided his time, and soon it was too dark to see much more without the guidance of magic. That’s when Merlin heard a cracking behind him. “Hey.” It was Lancelot. The gentle knight seemed somewhat concerned as he approached him. “You’ve been gone for a while, is everything alright? You seem upset.”

Merlin smiled. Lancelot was still the only knight who knew about his magic. However, nothing beyond - “I’m fine.” Lancelot was already lying to his King, hiding a sorcerer in front of his very eyes. Merlin didn’t want to add anything to that.

“Is it true? You really want that Dragon to be free?”

Merlin paused. “She’s a creature of magic, Lance.”

Lance’s expression tensed seriously. “I see.” It was everything he needed to say because even if Lance didn’t know all, he understood the basics. ‘It’s a creature of magic. It’s like me. SHE is like me.’ “You should come back, Arthur is going feral over there.”

Merlin let out a laugh. “Yeah yeah, I haven’t put out his bedroll yet, I was wondering when he’d notice.”

“Merls -,” Lance looked confused. “He’s worried about you.”

“About me slacking off, maybe.” Merlin snorted as he walked ahead, not noticing the concern that Lancelot regarded him with. They returned to the camp, where the fire was nearly dead and Arthur glaring at him.

“Merlin, what the hell took you so long?”

“Hmm?” Merlin looked up and raised a brow. “There wasn’t much dry wood around. So, I took a detour.”

Arthur clearly wasn’t satisfied with the answer, but he left him be. Not without condemning Merlin to the first watch, of course. Merlin accepted the job quietly. He was on high alert anyway. He’d slept five hours last night, which was nearly twice as much as usual.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“King Arthur!” King Sarrum’s voice was harsh and worn from years of carrying authority. “Welcome to Amata!” If they were friends, he’d probably be hugging Arthur by now, alas they weren’t, so he didn’t. It seemed, however, that he was pleased to see them.

“King Sarrum. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Arthur had put on his kingly voice. He always sounded merciful, yet strong and decisive when he spoke. There was a grace about him, an honor that few kings possessed and King Sarrum was lacking the necessary kindness behind his eyes to even compare.

“I hope your trip was pleasant. I received note about some ruffians wandering around the woods. You didn’t run into them, I hope.”

Arthur gave him a smile that would normally look pleased but Merlin could see the relief in it. Arthur was thankful for the kind welcome and the seemingly open concern in Sarrum’s expression. “We did not. But rest assured, these knights -,” Arthur pointed at Gwaine, Lancelot, Elian, Leon and Percival, “- are the best in the realm. I am sure we would have overcome them, had they attacked.”

“That is good to hear. Maybe you and your knights wish to partake in some friendly competitions tonight?”

“If they are interested, I will not stop them.” Gwaine and Percival sent each other grins that had the vibes of mental high fives.

“And who is this fella?” King Sarrum suddenly turned to Merlin, looking him up and down with barely concealed confusion. “He looks like a servant. Isn’t it most unusual for a delegation to bring servants? In my experience they are more of a liability.”

Merlin gritted his teeth and Arthur seemed to notice. “Merlin here is my manservant. He’s been in my care for nearly ten years now and I must admit I rarely go anywhere without him. He may not be much of a fighter but he lives with our court physician and has picked up some useful skills over the years.”

“I see.” The King of Amata walked slowly around Merlin and took in his posture. “Pardon my curiosity, King Arthur. I am surely wrong but I am under the impression that you came here, expecting me not to have servants to take care of you, or that you somehow expect to be harmed here.”

Arthur bristled. “What? No, no. It’s no such thing. As I said, I take him with me nearly everywhere. It’s more of a habit than anything.”

“Is that so?” The King pinched Merlin in the side. “Is he always in such a grumpy mood?”

Arthur’s concern seemed to be growing per minute and even the knights were beginning to look nervous. “No, it’s just -”

“I apologize, your majesty.” Merlin bowed to Sarrum, eyes lidded. “For speaking out of turn.” He quickly added, sensing Sarrum’s displeasure. “I insisted to come with. My King tends to have bad luck during his travels and I didn’t think it wise to let him go to a foreign Kingdom without a physician. As you mentioned, ruffians are in the area and it is rare that we do NOT run into them. King Arthur has been kind enough to grant me permission to join him. My presence at your court is merely a consequence of my selfishness, I hope you understand.”

King Sarrum relaxed, then grinned as he watched Merlin bow to him. “Oh, I like him. He’s a loyal one, isn’t he?”

Arthur laughed nervously. “Very.” He paused. “Sometimes worryingly so. I might tell you later about the time he knowingly drank poison for me.” Arthur cleared his throat. “I also brought him along -,” Arthur glared at Merlin, “because he was there with me when I faced the great Dragon.”

“Oh yes, I heard about it. It is quite a feat for a man to defeat such a giant beast.” Sarrum sounded pleased, if not delighted by the reminder. “And he was there too?”

“Yes.” Arthur paused. “At the time we needed every man we had to defeat the creature. As I said, he’s a bit of a worrywart and I figured it would do him good to see that the last dragon is secure in your Kingdom.”

At this, King Sarrum grinned a bright threatening smile. “Oh, is that so? Well then, let me show it to you after the feast. My maids will bring you to your respective chambers. I imagine your watchdog will be staying with you, your majesty?”

Arthur straightened again. Was he that exhausted? His face was red. “If you’d get him the antechamber to my room, that would be most welcome.”

“It shall be done.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Merlin.”

Merlin was unpacking their stuff in the chambers. He put all of Arthur’s clothes in the cabinet and put his armor aside while Arthur took a bath (provided by the Amata maids). Merlin ignored Arthur, too preoccupied checking how many doors went into and out of the room. Arthur may just be joking about it but Merlin WAS his watchdog and he had to make sure no assassin would find a way inside the room.

“MERlin!”

Maybe it would be good to cast some spells to alert Merlin if someone approached Arthur’s chambers.

“MERLIN!”

“I am not deaf!”

“For goodness sake, Merlin, just respond when I speak to you!” Arthur grumbled and sank a bit further into his bath. “Would it kill you to look any less grumpy? King Sarrum seemed to think that you wanted to murder him.”

“I might if he turns out to be an arse.” Merlin pulled out some clothes he knew Arthur would want to wear to the feast.

“Merlin!” Arthur sighed, half amused, half annoyed. “You know I hate disagreeing with you. That’s why I asked Sarrum to let you join us when we visit the dragon. You’ll see, it will be secure and in good hands.”

“I still think this is a bad idea.”

Arthur sighed, now more frustrated than amused. “If you think the dragon will harm me-”

“I think they might be harming the dragon, Arthur,” Merlin snapped and immediately bit his tongue.

Arthur stared at him, brows wet and mouth slightly open. “Sorry, Merlin, but I really don’t get where this is coming from. You’ve faced every monster and every creature with me. All of them were dangerous and threatening Camelot.”

“That might be because we only ever went to seek out the ones who were attacking.”

“Merlin-”

“The unicorns were harmless until you killed one of them.”

“Merlin.”

“I’m just saying that I think there is a bias here that you’re not seeing.”

“MERLIN!” Arthur snarled at him. Then he sighed. “Well, you’ll see later. King Sarrum told me that he’ll show us all the information he has gathered on Dragons and their nature and history.”

“Will he?” Merlin paused for a moment, then he noticed Arthur’s uncomfortable posture. He was sitting in the water, knees drawn to his chin and arms wrapped tightly around him. He was moping, in a sense. He really disliked fighting with Merlin but this wasn’t really something Merlin could explain to him. Not the way he should, not the way he wanted. “Arthur-,” Merlin exhaled deeply. “I understand where you’re coming from. And I understand that you want Camelot safe and not to repeat history.”

“But?”

Merlin hesitated.

“I’m sensing a but! You always have a but, Merlin. Come on, give me your insight! Why is it, in any form or way, bad that I want this beast hidden in the vaults to protect my kingdom?”

Merlin closed his eyes. “It is the last of its kind.”

“Thankfully,” Arthur muttered.

Merlin ignored him. “Can you, for one moment, imagine what that would be like?”

Arthur raised a brow. “To be the last of my kind? You mean, the only human left in Albion?”

“Yes.” Merlin whispered. “Imagine … imagine there were thousands of dragons and you’re the last human left. Imagine the dragons killed every single one of you, saying that you’re a threat to them all and locked you in for that reason-”

“That’s ridiculous. If there are thousands of them, then it’s obvious that they killed all of my kind. What danger am I to them?”

“The dragons are nearly extinct. Yet there are thousands of humans,” Merlin pointed out quietly, making Arthur freeze. “And that dragon is locked in the dungeons because you fear it.”

“Merlin, that’s stupid.” Arthur frowned. “Those things aren’t comparable.”

“Yes, because my story is fictional and yours isn’t.”

“Merlin -”

“Answer me this, Arthur. If you heard that thousands of dragons killed everyone you love and care about, and they locked you away, would you not want revenge?”

Arthur stared at Merlin, frowning sadly, still not getting it. “Merlin, these are soulless monsters who kill for the sake of killing. I cannot emphasize with that.” He watched Merlin for a moment, expecting him to answer but Merlin couldn’t.
If not even that could convince Arthur, then maybe it was all lost anyway.
“But-” Arthur said, verbally holding out the olive branch. “Now I get where you are coming from too.” He gave Merlin a hopeful smile, which twisted Merlin’s heart in a million different ways.

“Not every King would be willing to listen to me to this extent,” Merlin said in a rare moment of awareness. “You’re a good King… and a good friend, Arthur.”

Something softened in Arthur’s expression, something beyond relief, something more than hope. It was moments like these that Merlin felt seen by Arthur, although he was also hyper aware of how little Arthur really saw. It made Merlin feel grateful that Arthur existed.

Suddenly, Arthur rose from the tub, water splashing everywhere. “Where is my towel, Merlin?”

Merlin cursed as he quickly averted his eyes. Being open and emotional and vulnerable around Arthur were the moments he could least stand to see the man in his full naked glory. It opened up all the other problems Merlin had to deal with daily.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“This is my library! My pride and joy! Here I keep all my knowledge about the five Kingdoms of Albion and it is where I have my knowledge about Dragons and their Lords!” King Sarrum led them into a very wooden place, with three or four librarians running about, doing who knew what. That was a lot, considering that Camelot only had one of those and the man seemed rather bored with his duties while these one seemed almost hectic in the presence of their king.

“These are - a lot of books,” Arthur announced. “Quite a proud collection.”

Sarrum laughed at Arthur who now, without his armor, dressed only in black trousers and a fine blue shirt, looked very small next to him. Sarrum clapped Arthur on the shoulder. “Of course it is! Though I imagine it’s difficult to compare. Your father used to have the biggest collection of magic books in all the five kingdoms. It was quite a shock to us all when we learned that he burned them all.”

“He did?” Arthur straightened up in quiet shock.

“Of course he did.” Sarrum wasn’t even looking at Arthur. “Most of the lands already knew that magic was dangerous before he started the purge. Before, he was the biggest skeptic, always talking back when we explained the truth to him. He was obsessed with magic, wanted to know everything about it. Although he was aware of its dangers, he was very soft towards it. And then, one day, something changed his mind and he became radically against it all.”

“I… was not aware my father had a past like that,” Arthur admitted, his face stern and monotonous.

“Yeah well, we were all quite surprised.” A librarian approached, handing Sarrum a book before he quickly ran off. “I, for my part, was always more fascinated with magical creatures and beasts. Did you know that dragons don’t hatch normally? They need to be given a name. And not just any name. A Dragonlord has to give it to them and that name will determine what kind of dragon it becomes.”

Arthur perked up while Merlin tried to take a closer look at the book in Sarrum’s arm. Arthur curiously spoke up. “Really? And what kind of dragon is the one you caught?”

“That’s the thing.” Sarrum opened the book to one of the later pages. It showed some kind of door. Merlin squinted as he read the script. ‘Dragonrealm’ it said and seemed to have something to do with a prophecy. Great, another prophecy, Merlin thought annoyed. Sarrum continued undeterred. “The language of the Dragonlords is hard to decipher, their language is inherent to their kind, somehow. But we managed to translate it. This book prophesies that in a time of despair, when the dragons are close to extinction, a white dragon will open the gates to the dragon realm, starting the rebirth of the age of dragons.” The man pressed the book into Arthur’s shocked hands. “White dragons are rare, King Arthur. So how is it that I have one in my dungeons?”

Arthur’s eyes widened, looking from Sarrum to subtly glancing at Merlin. “You’re saying, the time is now?”

Sarrum grinned. “Not as long as the dragon remains in my dungeon! The age of dragons will end once and for all with the death of the white dragon.”

Merlin couldn’t help but clench his fists. It was either that or punching Sarrum in his stupid face.

Arthur seemed to sense Merlin’s distress because he quickly closed the book shut and handed it back to him. “Well then, I suppose it would be good to see the dragon now, wouldn’t it?”

Sarrum laughed loud and heartily as he led the two men down the library and towards a door to his dungeons. Merlin was on high alert, expecting a voice in his head the way that Kilgharrah used to annoy him sometimes. Instead, he heard a very real whimper echo through the moldy staircase.

Preparing himself for the worst, Merlin and Arthur followed Sarrum down the stairs into one of the darkest rooms Merlin had ever been in. His eyes magically adjusted quickly but he could hear Arthur cursing behind him. Even the torch Sarrum had brought didn’t shine very far. Another whimpering sound came from afar, making Merlin nearly fume with rage. Arthur, thankfully, didn’t comment on it.

“Well, gentlemen. I can imagine you’re excited to see it. Maybe now is a good time to tell you how I keep it secure, no?”

Suddenly, there was a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Especially you want to know how safe we all are, don’t you, serving boy?” He laughed again, very loudly from deep beneath his belly. “Of course I had to make sure it would not be able to hurt us, so I cut off its claws to the root of its fingers. We had to make sure it wouldn’t breathe fire, so I had its tongue cut out as well-”

“Erm, sorry, what?” This was Arthur, this time. “You cut off its tongue?”

“Had I known you’d come, I would have done it later, it tasted heavenly.”

Merlin nearly burst with rage at this point and he could feel Arthur’s horror on his back.

Sarrum, again, didn’t sense the mood at all. “Those were just necessary precautions. I tied its wings together as well as the legs. It cannot be allowed to attack us. Of course, it still tries.” He laughed again. “So, I would commend you not to get too close-”

That was the moment Merlin deafened because in front of him, right in front of him, lay his daughter, in a pool of her own blood, whining and whimpering for help. Merlin saw red as he pushed Sarrum’s arm off of him and even pushed off Arthur’s reaching hand. “MERlin, don’t!”

But Merlin was already there. He’d jumped over a stone fence to get close to her face. “No, no no no no no!” Merlin fell to his knees, scrambling forwards on his hands to put a hand to her snout. His teary eyes scanned all over her body, finding it worse than what Sarrum had described. Her claws were twitching and bleeding on the dirty ground. There was no water in sight and she looked thirsty while her eyes looked milky and unseeing. Yet, she seemed to recognise him somehow. For a moment, her gaze cleared and she nuzzled her forehead against Merlin’s. Cuts among her side, red coloring her white scaled bloody.

“Merlin, what the hell are you doing! Come back here! NOW! It will eat you!”

But Merlin’s glare found only Sarrum’s who seemed more confused than anything. And that look, that innocence feigning, pleased expression, blinded Merlin with pure, unaltered rage. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER!”

Sarrum raised a brow and chanced a confused look at a terrified Arthur. “What do you mean HER?”

“Shh.” Merlin cupped Aithusa’s cheek, speaking calming words to her whimpers. “I’m here, I’ll get you out of here, I promise.”

“MERLIN!” Arthur finally jumped over the fence, his sword ready as he approached slowly. “Get- away- from that thing! This is an order!”

“I said -” Merlin turned around and for the first time in his entire life, his glare was directed at Arthur. “I’ll get her out of here!”

“Merlin, you can’t be serious! You’ve heard what he said about the dragon restarting the age of dragons!”

“And YOU heard what he did to her!” Merlin spat back, fury running down his cheeks in utter hatred at everyone, them, the world, himself. He turned back to the dragon. “I should have never let you go. This is all my fault! I’ll make this right. You’ll come back with me -”

“Oh.” Sarrum’s voice suddenly let out. “OOOOH! Now that is rich!”

“Don’t listen to him. Merlin is just a servant, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He does the same thing when we go hunting! I swear -”

“So, you understand who I am, don’t you?” Merlin’s voice was no longer beyond his control. He leveled it to a threatening authority, not even looking at the two of them.

“So this is the true reason you’re here.” Sarrum laughed bitterly and beyond frustrated. “To bail her out. I should have known. There is no King who would bring a single servant to a peace treaty.”

“No no, you misunderstand!” Arthur now desperately stepped between them, seemingly unsure whose side to take. “Merlin, come back here. He is just a servant, I swear-”

“Arthur has nothing to do with this, he doesn’t know.” Merlin stroked Aithusa one last time before he stood up to face Sarrum with all the authority he could muster. “You will let her free.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” Sarrum laughed manically before pulling out his sword. “You think just because you’re a Dragonlord, you have the authority to bail her out?” He shook his head. “It is my prisoner. You should have taken better care of it if you don’t like what I’m doing!”

“Dragonlord?” While Merlin didn’t move, Arthur let his sword sink. “MERlin? A dragonlord? You’re nuts.”

Merlin had had enough. It was enough with the lies, his daughter needed him. “I am sorry, Sarrum, but I have no choice. You’ve read all those books on dragons, you must know that it’s my duty to protect them.” And with those words, Merlin reached out a hand with purpose and let the chains burst around Aithusa’s ankles.

“Magic?” Arthur whispered, eyes suddenly trained motionlessly on Merlin. His sword no dangled completely by his side, the shock written there and it was the only moment of distraction Merlin could allow himself.

“I’m sorry, Arthur.”

“GUARDS!” Sarrum’s voice bellowed over the entire castle, as he raised his sword at Merlin.

Merlin’s eyes blinked golden and the sword was thrown out of Sarrum’s hand, now stuck in the wall behind him. Merlin twirled around and raised his hand at the dungeon ceiling. A tiny, muttered spell, and the entire ceiling collapsed over them while Merlin’s other hand magically pushed Arthur out of the way. “Aithusa, baby, I am so sorry, but I need you to fly us out of here.” Merlin helped her up and muttered some spell to give her enough strength to actually do that. Then, he climbed on her back, forcing her to spread her wings. In the midst of all the chaos, Aithusa let out a breaking scream as she jumped into the air, weakly jumping just high enough to reach the ceiling, then it crawled into the room upstairs.

Merlin’s calculations were off. He cursed as they landed in the library. Guards stormed into the room, circling them with their lances and swords. Merlin raised both his hands at them. Another wave of gold washed over them, throwing them against the shelves and knocking them out. Books fell everywhere, creating even more chaos. “Come on, Aithusa. Just a little more. If you can’t fly, run! I’ll clear the way!”

Aithusa did as she was asked, getting closer to the nearest door that suddenly burst open, revealing no other than the Camelot knights.

“Wha- MERLIN?!” Gwaine screamed, clearly too caught off guard to do anything as the golden eyed servant came riding towards him on a fucking dragon!

“Lance!,” Merlin yelled, his magic too occupied giving Aithusa the strength she needed to keep going. “Go to the dungeon! Arthur is alone with Sarrum! I have to get Aithusa out of here!”

Lancelot, if anything, looked even more flabbergasted than Gwaine did, but he caught himself quicker. “Yes, of course.” Then he pulled the knights back and pressed them against the wall to let Merlin through. “Where the hell are you going?”

Merlin yelled back. “Forest!” A moment later, the wall between the floor and outside bust open and Merlin and Aithusa jumped out of the castle. Close to the ground, Aithusa gained enough momentum to spread her wings and fly high into the sky. Blood rained from where she flought and Merlin knew it was nearly inevitable for them to have a rough landing.

And so they did. Aithusa lost focus for a moment and crashed into a nearby tree, both of them tumbling downwards into the earth through the bushes and leaves scratching at them. Merlin’s magic only managed to soften the fall.

Chapter Text

Arthur pushed himself from the ground, rubble falling from his back and dust invading his lungs. He coughed it all out. His sword lay abandoned a couple meters to his right, so he scrambled over to pick it up. As he tried to catch his breath, tried to understand what had happened, he had to block out the screaming orders around him for a moment. A single fact plagued his mind: Merlin was a traitor.

He stood there for a while, eyes directed unseeing at the ground, breath heaving and close to tears when Sarrum suddenly approached him. “You really didn’t know, did you?” His voice sounded unusually soft, although it had a mocking tone to it as he observed Arthur’s desperation. “What am I thinking, of course you didn’t. Magic in Camelot is punishable by death. You wouldn’t keep a blasted Dragonlord around.” The words cut deep and Arthur had to bite his lip as Sarrum sent guards after Merlin and then pulled his sword out of the wall behind him. Sarrum turned to Arthur, sword clinking uselessly, almost amicably against Arthur’s. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“Did you hit your head? Your traitor stole my dragon. You’re gonna help me get it back and then you’ll execute him.” He walked ahead, no regard for Arthur’s state of mind whatsoever.

At that moment, the door to the dungeon slammed open and Lancelot and the knights stormed in. “Sire!” Lancelot yelled from above as they quickly made their way downstairs.

Sarrum let them through and nodded at Arthur as if to encourage him to give an order. “Follow as soon as you’re ready.” Maybe he also understood that the betrayal cut deep. He was a King too, he surely knew what it felt like to be betrayed by someone who had served him for as long as Merlin had. Then he followed the guards back out, probably to examine the levels of destruction above.

Arthur’s entire expression shifted into one of utter despair. He would have to order his knights to hunt and kill Merlin.

Lancelot was by him a moment later, just as the door slammed shut and Sarrum disappeared. “Sire, is everything alright?

Arthur closed his eyes before schooling his face into a determined expression. The other knights quietly joined Lancelot. “Merlin is a traitor.” Arthur began, every word tasting like bile on his tongue. “He freed the dragon with magic. He’s- he’s a -. I need you -” He paused heavily, “I need you to go after him. And-”

“You need to calm down, Sire.” Lancelot suddenly cut in, shocking Arthur to the core. Lancelot was his most loyal knight. He rarely ever interrupted him. “Merlin told us that we would find you here. Did Sarrum hurt you?”

Arthur laughed incredulously. “Are you telling me you came here because Merlin ordered you to?!” The knights exchanged a glance. “What, he came towards you on a fucking DRAGON and you decided it was a good idea to listen to his orders?!” Arthur nearly shrieked. Even without all the drama, Merlin was a SERVANT, they shouldn’t be listening to him to begin with.

This time, Gwaine side glanced at Lancelot before approaching Arthur nervously. “Well, it was rather sudden and he seemed to be worried to have left you alone with King Sarrum. We figured that your safety was more important. Also, it was kind of intimidating, he sat on a dragon of all things and his eyes were blazing -”

“YES, because he used MAGIC!” Arthur yelled at him. “We have to go after him -”

“No.” Again, Lancelot looked utterly determined and almost frighteningly sure as Arthur stared at him. “Merlin’s order was clear. We are to keep you safe. I’m sure he believed that Sarrum would make you responsible for his actions -”

“MERLIN’S order?” Arthur grabbed Lancelot by the collar to pull him on face level. “I AM YOUR KING! Merlin is a TRAITOR! Do I need to remind you that using magic is punishable by death?!” The last word made Arthur’s voice break. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t give the order for Merlin’s execution. But this was the law and his mind was swimming and it was the only way he could gather some control over the situation.

Lancelot gently pulled Arthur’s hands from his collar and then grabbed Arthur by his shoulders. “I understand that this is a lot, Arthur, but I can assure you that if Merlin freed that dragon, risking to putting you in danger, then it was very important that he did it.”

“Are you missing the point where Merlin used MAGIC?! Because -”

“I’m well aware of his powers and I am probably the only one here who knows what he’s been using it for. So, I need you to calm down and listen to me.” Lancelot’s eyes bored sternly into Arthur’s.

Arthur’s arms went limp. “You knew. He told you.”

“No. I saw him use it to defeat the Griffin. It’s why I left when you restored my honor in front of your father. I had started that journey with a lie and you went to trust me anyway. I couldn’t stay and take the credit for something Merlin did, after everything I had done.”

Arthur wanted to punch him. “You KNEW! All this time, you KNEW he betrayed me and lied about it! You’re his accomplice! So what? Is that why you are in my service? Why he was? So he could find and gather dragons in his attempt to overthrow me?”

“Gather dragons?” Lancelot raised his brow. “To kill you? You think Merlin could ever kill you?”

“Well, yesterday, I thought Merlin was a regular human being, turns out he’s not only a sorcerer, but also a DRAGONLORD! So what do I-”

“He’s a Dragonlord?” Lancelot’s eyes went comically wide. “So THAT’S why he was so upset on the ride here!”

Arthur finally pushed him off of him. “So THAT’S your main concern. Good to know where your priorities lay, SIR Lancelot. Who else knew? Gwaine? Any confessions on your part?” When Arthur turned to Gwaine, he wasn’t expecting the man to look as torn as he felt himself.

“No, I didn’t know.” Gwaine clipped between his teeth. “I didn’t even NOTICE anything.”

“So, just Lancelot. Great.”

“I’m telling you, Merlin has been using his magic for the better of Camelot. For you!” Lancelot stepped forward, dabbing his finger against Arthur’s chest. “He apparently didn’t even tell me half of it, but I already know he’s the bravest of us all! He didn’t JUST fight the Griffin, he also defeated a man named Cornelius Sigan, an Anfanc, witches and Bandits -”

“And let me guess, he also freed the Great Dragon?” Arthur turned back to him furiously. “Because who else would free that giant creature if not a DRAGONLORD?!”

At that, Lancelot fell quiet.

Arthur looked down. “And I always wondered. Heck, Merlin even TOLD me that he sympathized with the dragon -” He gestured at the remains of the chains that used to hold it. “I was an idiot! I should have seen it! I knew he was keeping secrets but to think that -” Arthur couldn’t even finish that sentence.

“Maybe you should talk about this with Merlin himself. Right now we should get to him before Sarrum gets there first.”

“And why would I want to protect Merlin right now?!” Arthur lied to his knights. He couldn’t help it. He was upset and his pain blocked out the worry he knew he was feeling. But he was angry that he was feeling it at all.

Lancelot’s expression didn’t shift much. “If you still want peace with the Kingdom of Amata, you should make sure her King is left alive to reason with.”

Arthur’s eyes widened.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Merlin had hit his head pretty hard. A quick check proved to him, however, that he didn’t have any open wounds and he doubted that he had a concussion either. Feeling somewhat sore, Merlin jumped to his feet and made his way over to Aithusa. She was wailing in the sun, whimpering once again and in the daylight, her wounds stood out even more prominently.

Merlin knelt down beside her again, trying not to wince at the oozing wounds and the painful expression. “Hey, hey, where is my little girl? You’ve done so well, Aithusa.” Merlin had to stop himself from choking on his hatred. Looking around, he sensed that the nearest river was a bit too far for them to reach by foot. “I’m gonna get you something to drink, yeah? I only have to bring the river here.”
Aithusa closed her eyes and Merlin got to his feet again. He took a deep breath and then concentrated on the magic around him. On normal days, the magic liked to press against him, begging to be let in, so it was the easiest thing in the world to tear down his inner walls. When Merlin blinked, he knew his eyes were shining again. With all his might he pulled the magic by the seams and pushed it into the ground.
The ground cracked underneath his hands, opening a wide path that he knew would lead to the river. Heaving, Merlin stared at his work, then he returned to Aithusa’s side. “Just a minute. The water has to find its way here. You’ll be able to drink soon.” He caressed her cheek again. “I am so sorry, Aithusa. I should have been there for you! I should have known this would happen.”

Aithusa craned her neck to nuzzle her snout into Merlin’s arms.

That was the moment the bushes behind them opened up. Merlin cursed his luck. Of course he’d gotten them stranded precisely in that part of the forest where the ruffians lived.

“And what do we have here?” Merlin tensed, not daring to move too quickly. “A servant? From the castle? And what is it you got there?” Whoever he was, he was not alone. The sound of swords and heavy crossbows weighing down the men clang in Merlin’s ears, making them twitch.

“Oi, Kain, don’t move too close. That’s a dragon, isn’t it?” Suddenly, multiple men raised their crossbows.

Merlin clicked his tongue, more annoyed than anything. “I would advise you to put those down. If you hurt her, for whatever reason, I will kill you.”

“You and what army? You don’t even have a weapon!”

“Hey, hey, Kain, don’t provoke him! That’s the white dragon King Sarrum brought into his castle! I saw it when he brought it in! If he risked and managed to stealing it -”

“Shut up, Salem!”

Merlin could hear someone being pushed backwards. Then, finally, a trigger was pulled. Merlin didn’t care who it was. As he sensed where the arrow was going, he let his magic flare once again. Within a second, the arrow changed its trajectory 180°. A hit, a grunt, and then someone who fell to the ground. Merlin felt the live leaving his body. Merlin took the casual murder with stride. It wasn’t his first corpse. It wouldn’t be his last.

“Oi, holy shit, how did he do that? KAIN!”

Merlin finally got up again to slowly turn around to face the rest of the bandits. They were dressed mostly in stolen clothes. Ruffians, Bandits, Sarrum’s knights, who the fuck cared anyway. They raised their crossbows at Merlin more out of desperation than a warning. Only the one called Salem raised both hands in defense.
“This is my last warning -” Merlin glared, not bothering to hide the demonic glow in his eyes. “And trust me, I won’t hesitate.”

“Guys, we should do as he says.” Said Salem behind his raised hands.

“Stop being a wimp, Salem! He’s just one guy!”

“One guy with magic and a dragon, you idiot!” Salem snapped back at his comrade.

Merlin raised a brow. “You should listen to your friend here. I am in a really bad mood right now. And you don’t want to mess with Emrys when he’s in a bad mood.”

Salem’s eyes widened, recognition in his eyes. He was likely a former druid, Merlin concluded from that reaction. Why does no one ever listen to the druids? They tended to be the most reasonable.

“I don’t fucking give a shit who you are!” This was another guy who’s name Merlin would never have the chance to learn. The moment his finger pulled the trigger, Merlin’s eyes flared again and the weapon exploded in his hand. Screaming, the man fell backward. He was dead before his body hit the ground.

“Fucking hell, do none of you guys ever fucking LISTEN?!” Salem grunted. “We’re leaving, NOW!” Salem, abandoning his weapon, pushed the last remaining bandit by the shoulder, accidentally triggering his crossbow. Merlin didn’t need to react to that one, however, as it got buried in a random tree far off to the side. “Matthew, I know you’re angry -” Salem whispered to the last bandit, “But not even Sarrum’s army could defeat this guy! Let’s GO and thank the heavens he’s letting us off with two warnings!”

Matthew pulled himself free from his friend’s grip, only grimacing angrily in response. A moment later, they both stumbled through the bushes and left, probably to alert the rest of their troop. Hopefully, Merlin thought, to stay far, far away.

With a wave of his magic, Merlin lifted the corpses into the air and pushed them further into the forest, after the two men. May their friends bury them eventually, as long as this corner of the forest remained quiet, he wouldn’t bother them again.

It was only now that the river finally took shape and Merlin could fill his satchel with water. Then he hurried to Aithusa and gently lifted her head to help her get down some of it. It was difficult because without the tongue it was hard for her to swallow. Merlin made her drink slowly, despite her thirst almost making her drown herself. Merlin hated this. Hated how hurt she was and it took everything within him not to start sobbing into her wounds. It was his fault. He hadn’t taken care of her. He should have been there for her!

Once Aithusa had drunk a little, Merlin wiped off his tears on his sleeve and pulled off his own scarf. With a silent spell, he cleaned most of the grime off before he went to clean Aithusa’s wounds as well as he dared. He would need plants, ointments and all kinds of things, but he didn’t have anything with him. Nothing at all.

Aithusa whimpered with every touch. “I’m sorry, Aithusa. You’re doing so great. We’ll get you through this, yeah?” Merlin’s voice turned more and more monotonous. Even his magic couldn’t help her much but it was better than nothing.

Aithusa let out a creaking sound.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll find us something to eat.” Merlin huffed a breath while keeping down the threat of sobs. “I’d even kill a rabbit for you, does that sound good?”

Aithusa made the same sound again, then she closed her eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Merlin gently stroked her cheek. “You need to rest.” Then he got up. Food it was.

Merlin tried not to think of Arthur. Tried not to think that he would never see Camelot again. That he’d just given up everything he cared for to save the daughter he loved.
He failed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Arthur’s PoV:

“I’m ready. My knights will join yours to search the forest. I need you to show me an outline of your kingdom to narrow down where they could have gone. The dragon is hurt, they can’t be far.”

Arthur had somewhat gathered his nerves to face King Sarrum again. The man was already pulling out several books while the knights helped the knocked out librarians and guards back on their feet.

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Sarrum waved Arthur over. Once Arthur was with him, Sarrum opened up the book and seemingly found the page he was searching for. “There it is.”

“What is it?” Arthur was still terrified, but he looked over Sarrum’s shoulder anyway.

“It has been bothering me, you know? When you arrived, I thought your servant seemed familiar. But I think I know now why that is.”

“Familiar?” Arthur couldn’t quite tell what Sarrum meant. The page he’d opened was titled with ‘Emrys’.

“Yes. When I was younger, I spent some time with the Dragonlords. I can’t imagine that Uther taught you much about them, but basically speaking, there used to be five Dragonlord families. Their powers, much like a crown, were inherited by their oldest sons. Their powers were immense, and to make sure that they wouldn’t abuse them, they each chose to serve one of the five Kingdoms of Albion. The Dragonlord I spoke to, was no other than Balinor, the Dragonlord who was serving Camelot at the time.”

“Camelot.” Arthur frowned and tried to see what that had to do with the page. The page spoke not of a Dragonlord but of a destined magician. According to the title, Emrys was the most powerful warlock to have ever walked the earth.

“That servant of yours, he looks similar to when Balinor was your age.”

Arthur wanted to laugh it off, instead his face turned white. “You’re not saying -”

“It would be the most likely explanation. And this gets me to THIS point -” Sarrum finally tapped the page. “Those chains I had locked the Dragon away with - It should have taken at least ten sorcerers to open it the way the boy just did. The days of prophecy -” Sarrum stroked his chin. “They seem to be upon us. Not only do we have a white dragon, I might have just met the great Emrys himself.” He grinned. “To think he’s this young.”

Arthur stepped back. “Okay, hold on. You don’t want to tell me that Merlin -” Arthur’s words dangled unfinished in the air. He MUST be kidding.

“Are you really that surprised after everything you just saw? It only makes sense that the last Dragonlord is also Emrys.”

“Yeah but - that’s ridiculous.” Arthur couldn’t wrap his mind around it. “There -” He pointed at a phrase in the book. “Emrys is meant to be the King of the druids! Why would a King serve at my court?”

Sarrum almost looked like he wanted to take pity on Arthur. “Can you really not think of a reason why magic itself would steal itself into the heart of Camelot? Is there not a single thing magic would want from the King who forbids its existence? Do tell, Arthur Pendragon. Do you doubt the evilness of magic? Has his word poisoned your heart to forgive sorcerers for their crimes?”

Arthur bit his lip, hard. He closed his eyes.

“It is only human for you to doubt. Your father doubted its evilness once. Make sure not to make the same mistake.” Sarrum sounded almost soft at this point.

Arthur lowered his head, feeling like a scolded child. “Of course.”

“Good, because we will have to kill him on sight. Emrys is said to be powerful enough to defeat armies. We don’t have room to make mistakes.” With that, Sarrum turned around again, spouting order after order.

Arthur just felt dizzy from all the additional information. Lancelot was by his side in a second. “Sire, are you alright?”

“Shut up, Lancelot. I don’t want to hear a single word from you right now.”

With that, Arthur walked after Sarrum, asking him for maps for his kingdom. He was fighting the tears that dared to spill with every added crime on Merlin’s count.

Arthur felt ashamed and worthless. All these years he had trusted Merlin and now he was searching on a map for his whereabouts, only to find that he didn’t know a single thing about him. What places would Merlin go to? Where would he hide?
‘Where did you go, my heart?’ Arthur thought wistfully, staring at a random point on the map. He clenched his fist. It had been tough being betrayed before. Arthur knew the pain that came with his heart being torn apart. He had felt it when he believed his father had caused his mother’s death, he had felt it every day that he was blamed for it instead. He remembered Morgana’s betrayal and the way her death tore him to shreds. He had even felt it a little when Gwen had chosen Lancelot over him. Arthur had given his heart to Merlin for safekeeping and now it wasn’t broken. It was gone.
Who was Arthur supposed to turn to now? If he killed Merlin for his crimes, who would remain to pick up the pieces? What kind of kingdom would Camelot be without Merlin? Without the happy and just King Arthur was striving to become, because he knew that without Merlin, that King did not exist.

Arthur hurried to wipe off the tear that threatened to spill otherwise. He was fine, he just had something in his eye.

“Oi, princess.”

“Not now, Gwaine.”

“If not now, then when?” Gwaine leaned over the table, blocking his view, just to face Arthur better. “I don’t know what’s going on but I assure you, Merlin is a good guy.”

“What is it with all my knights trusting Merlin more than their King?” Arthur hit the table with an angry grunt.

Gwaine frowned. “Look, I’m not Lance. I didn’t know about Merlin’s magic, apparently I’m not close enough of a friend to him for that. So I get that you’re angry. I am too. But Lance was RIGHT. The only thing Merlin ordered us to take care of when he left this castle was you. I haven’t known Merlin for as long as you and Lance have. But I’ve known him long enough to know that he would do anything for you. YOU, princess, come first. Always. So, like Lance said, if Merlin saved that dragon and risked leaving you behind for it, then that means something.”

“Yeah, it means that he loves that dragon more than he cares about m- us!”

“Exactly.” Gwaine’s glare was stern. “Merlin searched half the country to find me to help you on your weird quest in that magic kingdom. Merlin drank poison for you! Merlin would do anything for you. Don’t forget that when you think about this so-called betrayal. What exactly did he betray anyway?”

“Only everything Camelot stands for? With having magic and being a Dragonlord? Stealing dragons, FREEING dragons that attack the citadel? Hmm, I wonder what it could be.” Arthur grunted, still clenching his teeth.

“Yeah, because it’s so easy being your friend when he has literal magic.” Gwaine’s expression softened.

Their eyes met and Arthur felt lost at the implication. “You’re saying this is my fault.”

“I’m saying it’s your father’s fault. It’s his law, not yours. And try to explain to me how being a Dragonlord is against the law if it’s something you’re born with? And THEN, princess, explain to me why Merlin would face the Great Dragon with you if he wanted it to destroy Camelot.”

“He probably just came with me to stop me from killing it.”

“Yet, Camelot hasn’t been attacked from it since.”

“Yeah, because I KILLED it!” Arthur glared at Gwaine, who simply raised a brow.

“And what if you’re wrong? What if Merlin made you believe that you did?”

Arthur’s had enough. He finally snapped. “So, you want me to be glad that he LIED to me? Make me look like a FOOL in front of my entire Kingdom?! While that monster is still out there?!”

Gwaine’s expression hardened again. “You know what the worst part of this is, princess? I can’t stop thinking that all these years, he lived in your shadow, knowing you’d kill him if he told you. And yet he loved you with every choice he made. We know of so many of his sacrifices, yet we can’t even begin to understand how far that brought him. How many times has he crossed lines only to protect you, what do you think? And you have the gall, the audacity, to be upset that he protected all of us from the truth. You’re not even giving him the chance to explain.” Gwaine frowned, letting his words sink in. He sounded upset and mad and Arthur found himself feeling even more guilty than before. “Merlin said we will find him in the forest.” With those words, Gwaine turned around to speak with Lancelot about their next steps.

Arthur remained where he stood, trying to get his mind in order.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Sir Leon, I need your advice.” By now, they had all put on their armor and Arthur was only waiting for Gwaine and Elian to get ready.

“Naturally. What can I help you with?” Leon raised his head to be eye level with Arthur. Leon was taller than Arthur, yet he almost managed to make himself seem smaller somehow.

“What do I do with Merlin?”

Leon blinked, then suddenly relaxed. “I don’t know, Sir.”

Arthur wanted to punch him for that answer. “Come on. You’re the only knight in my court who already served under my father and who I didn’t pick up from some random stroll in the forest! Gwaine and Lancelot are biased in a way they want me to protect Merlin, Sarrum is biased in a way that I should kill Merlin. What do YOU say?”

Leon frowned. “Sire - I don’t think the answer is what you SHOULD do. But what you CAN do.”

Arthur nearly burst with rage. “Well, obviously, I can do both, that’s the problem -”

“Can you kill Merlin?” Arthur stilled as he took in Leon’s tired eyes. He showed empathy. That was not an expression Arthur saw on Leon often. “Can you go out there with us to murder him?” There was another pause as Leon gathered his breath. “Sire, I know that with what happened to Morgana, you feel like you have no choice. But you do. You are a wise King and part of your wisdom comes from your tendency to listen to your people. And more often than not, you have been listening to Merlin. Now it is more crucial than ever that you do. Merlin’s betrayal cuts deep because he made a choice. A choice you don’t know what part you played in.” Leon hesitantly clapped Arthur’s shoulder. “That’s what I hope you will do because it’s what the King I have faith in would do.”

Arthur nodded slowly, taking the words with stride. Somehow it made him think of Gwen. ‘In life you always have a choice. Sometimes it’s just easier to think that you don’t.’

With that, Arthur turned around to lead his men into the forest.

. . .

The trail wasn’t as hard to find as Arthur had feared. The broken wall Merlin had left behind left a trail of rubble and blood in its wake. Somewhere in the distance, Arthur could see a broken tree crown and it didn’t take a genius to know what that meant.

It took nearly an hour by foot to reach the crash zone and so Arthur found himself agonizing over the chance that Merlin might have died from the fall. That was until they stumbled over the corpses. They lay face down in the mudd. Sarrum made a sign for their armed delegation to halt. With his foot, he kicked the bodies around. “Ruffians.” He said quietly. “Definitely killed with magic.”

“How can you be sure?” Arthur stepped towards him.

“This one has his face blown off.”

“Oh.” Arthur bit back another comment. He could feel the heavy gazes of his men on his shoulder. It was impossible to bear.

Then there was a rustle in the bushes and everyone in their party raised their swords.

“Hey, hey, I won’t do anything!” A man walked out, looking scared. But he had his hands raised in surrender.

Sarrum spat at the ground. “What do I care. You’re a ruffian, you deserve death.”

Arthur stretched out a hand to stop Sarrum. “Let him speak. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t know something.”

“Know what?” The ruffian halted, then his eyes found the corpses. His expression twisted. “Those were my crewmates. We ran into a sorcerer with a dragon. He killed them.”

Arthur blanched. “He… did.”

The man nodded seriously. “Are you after him?” His eyes fell to Sarrum and narrowed with barely concealed hatred. “I suppose you’re after the dragon. You should run, Emrys is not one to mess with.”

Sarrum’s expression turned wild. “So I was right. He IS Emrys.”

Arthur shook off the knowledge. “What is your name, stranger?”

“My name is Salem. That man at your feet was Kain. The other was Terris. They wanted to shoot Emrys. He warned us, twice. They wouldn’t listen. Me and my partner are lucky that we got out alive. I may make my life stealing and stuff, but I don’t spill blood if I don’t have to.”

Arthur nodded, then reached into his pocket. He threw over a small package of coins. “For your help. You don’t happen to know where he went?”

Surprised, the ruffian caught the money with his free hand. “Eh… Yeah. You can’t miss him. That river down there - that wasn’t there hours ago. Emrys made it himself.” He pointed out at a small stream of water. “I imagine he didn’t want to move the dragon, it looked really hurt.”

“And why would you tell us all of this?” Sarrum narrowed his eyes.

“I came here to bury my friends.” Salem glared back. “And I’m not dumb enough to lie to a delegation of the King. Now, if you would let me get them -”

Arthur stepped aside. “Percival, Gwaine, help him out, will you?”

Gwaine looked aghast. “What about Merlin?”

“We can handle him.”

The ruffian watched Arthur seemingly perplexed. “You’re… helping me?”

King Sarrum seemed just as confused. “He is a thief, King Arthur! You can’t seriously be wanting to waste strength on our side for that ruffian!”

Arthur grimaced. “You handle your knights as you please, King Sarrum, I handle mine my way. This is not the time to discuss the state of poverty in your kingdom. Which is also why I will tell you now, Emrys was my servant. I will face him first.”

“Seriously?” Sarrum grunted. “Well, fine, have it your way. I’ll make sure you get a proper burial.”

“Emrys was your servant?!” The ruffian’s jaw was slack. “What kind of King are you?”

Arthur ignored them. “Is it far?”

“Not much. Maybe a hundred meters down the river.” Salem pointed ahead in the direction he had earlier. “But damn, can I come watch?”

Again, Arthur ignored him. He signed the rest of his knights to follow after him, while Sarrum yelled at Salem if he had any regards for his life. Arthur went ahead, Sarrum remained behind at the clearing with Gwaine, Percival and Salem with the corpses.

It really didn’t take long. Arthur had his sword pulled before he knew it. And then… finally, the river ended in a small sea next to a white creature that was a little bigger than a cow. And Merlin? Merlin stood there, his rag of a scarf in his hand as he wiped the grime off of the dragon’s sleeping body.
Arthur’s heart skipped a beat. The nerves threatened to eat him up. Behind Arthur, Elian, Leon and Lancelot had pulled their swords, nodding at each other to get ready. Then, Arthur signed them to stay behind.

Arthur could see Merlin’s ear twitch from here. Then, finally, Arthur raised his sword. “Turn around, Merlin. Or should I be calling you Emrys?!”

It seemed to take forever, as Arthur’s heart threatened to explode, before Merlin got up and turned around to face him. He looked sad, expectant and ready for nearly anything. His eyes trailed down the sword in Arthur’s tight grip. “Are you here to kill me?”

Arthur took in his surroundings and found a single arrow stuck in a tree behind Merlin. It made him think and wonder what he would have done had he found Merlin here with that arrow in his head. Arthur trembled, then huffed out a breath before he threw the sword to the ground. “NO. I’m not doing this.”

Merlin raised his brow, eyes following the sword to his feet. He seemed confused and that alone brought Arthur a sense of satisfaction as he stepped forward.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re a LIAR and a SORCERER!” Merlin narrowed his eyes. But Arthur was not done. “You betrayed me. I trusted you and you-” Arthur inhaled deeply. “But I am NOT going to do this! If I kill you now, all that will do is give you an excuse. You are Emrys, I know I cannot defeat you. If you want me dead, I won’t give you the excuse that you did it out of self defense. I won’t give your kind another reason for revenge. If you wish to kill me, you have to do it while I’m unarmed.” Arthur kicked the sword further away and spread his arms slightly to show that he was completely unarmed.

“SIRE!” That was Elian and Arthur could hear the shock in his voice. Lancelot and Leon, however, seemed to be sheathing their weapons, going with the flow.

“So?” Arthur straightened his back. “You can choose. Will you use your magic or my own sword to kill me? If I have to die, then I want to do it without my hand raised against a friend.”

Merlin’s expression fell from prepared to completely unprepared. For a moment he just stood there, taking Arthur in. Then he stepped forward, slowly, oh so slowly and Arthur felt his lungs constrict. Maybe he was a fool. The history books would talk about Arthur Pendragon, killed by his own naivety. Then, suddenly Merlin’s hand found Arthur’s cheek, caressing it softly as he smiled at Arthur. The touch, so soft and caring startled Arthur beyond belief.

“I could never hurt you.”

“But you did.” Yet, Arthur found himself melting into the touch. He was close to tears, yet he felt helpless against the relief he felt at the soft expression Merlin regarded him with. His heart was basically begging him to be allowed to keep trusting Merlin. His brain was begging Merlin to just kill him already and not prolong this torture.

“Arthur, I am so sorry.” Merlin seemed in pain. “I couldn’t leave her down there.”

“Because you care about her. About the dragon. Because you’re a Dragonlord and that goes beyond your duties as my servant.” Arthur concluded weakly.

Merlin twitched a smile at Arthur’s pain. “Arthur, Aithusa is my daughter. I hatched her from the egg that was hidden in the tower of Ashkanar. She will never attack you. No dragon will ever attack Camelot again, not while I’m the last Dragonlord. Saving her does not go against my duty as your servant.”

Arthur’s breath hitched slightly at those words. His daughter? Arthur chanced a glance at the hurt dragon and suddenly he understood all too well why Merlin had been so upset from the very beginning. “And the magic?”

Merlin huffed a laugh. “I am magic.” Suddenly, Merlin’s eyes flashed golden and as Arthur nearly panicked at the sight, their surroundings brightened around them, painting the entire clearing into a golden glow. Nothing, however, was brighter than the molten lava in Merlin’s iris and Arthur found himself unable to look away. “My magic too, does not go against my duties.”

Arthur took in a breath and closed his eyes against Merlin’s warm touch. His hands reached up to hold Merlin’s arm there, clinging to it, completely unarmed and unguarded. If Merlin killed him now, Arthur would consider it a mercy. He’d rather die, feeling safe and sound than die of the same broken heart that had faced Merlin initially.

Suddenly, Merlin relaxed and smiled widely. Arthur opened his eyes in time to see it. “I was worried you’d kill me.” Merlin whispered against Arthur’s hand. “I should have known you wouldn’t do that. You faced Annis of your own accord, unarmed, begging for mercy for your men and you faced that child in the well alone.”

“As if I could have killed you.” Arthur said, not sure whether he meant physically or mentally.

Merlin’s expression somehow softened even further and he let his free hand glide through Arthur’s hair. “I would have made it easy for you. You just need to say the word and I’d do it myself.”

Arthur startled out of the soft moment. “You’d WHAT?!”

Merlin nodded at the sword at the ground. A flare in his eyes and it was suddenly in his hand. He regrettably stepped away, causing Arthur to watch his every move with sole focus. Then Merlin knelt down to hold Excalibur out to him. “This sword, Arthur, was forged in a dragon’s breath. It is the only known weapon to be able to kill the undead, the immortal, and even dragons. It is the only weapon able to kill me and it is yours alone to use.” Merlin looked up. “I’ve put my life in your hands the day I had it made. I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

Mesmerized and completely dazed, Arthur took the sword from Merlin’s hand. A part of him wanted to be mad about the lie with the sword in the stone. But, somehow, he could imagine what had happened, what Merlin had done. For him. For Arthur. Somehow, it gave him more faith than pulling the sword had.

Arthur looked at Merlin, wanting to ask why. Why all of this. Why lie, why use magic, why him, why why why? But he knew the answer. It was obvious. Merlin’s portrayal of emotions meant so much more than that.

And then, the moment was over as King Sarrum’s voice echoed through the forest. “I KNEW IT!” He barged through the bushed, forcing himself through the knights. Then he shoved Arthur backwards, ripping the sword from his grip. “THIS sword can kill the great Emrys, huh?” His eyes widened as he glared at Arthur. “And YOU, weak King, you let magic poison your mind! You can’t see what’s in front of you! Helping bandits, forgiving this man - have you forgotten he freed the great dragon, or was that a deduction too difficult for you?”

Arthur stumbled backwards, ripped away from Merlin.

Merlin stood straight now, hand raised at the other King. “You wouldn’t understand.” Merlin’s eyes remained golden as he stepped further back to stay between Sarrum and Aithusa. His fucking daughter!

“Oh, try me.” King Sarrum grinned a wide, bloodthirsty smile. “Wanted revenge for your kind, huh?”

“I’ll have you know, I wasn’t even a Dragonlord back then. My father was still alive! I only freed Kilgharrah in exchange for information on how to save Camelot!”

“Such pretty lies, aren’t they? How many of them do you have?”

Merlin raised his hand and a moment later, King Sarrum was thrown against the next tree. Excalibur fell from his hand and Arthur hurried to pick it up. As he stepped backwards, he wasn’t sure whom to point it at. He wanted to believe Merlin. He really did. But he had been lied to so often. What if he was making a mistake? Then, Arthur had an idea. “Merlin, don’t defend yourself.”

Merlin turned his head towards Arthur. He opened his mouth to say something but then he closed his eyes and knelt on the ground as if waiting for his execution.

As King Sarrum stood up, he was furious. “Like he’s going to listen to that! Give me the sword!”

“No.” Arthur paused, then turned to Merlin, sword now pointing to his neck. Merlin looked up, unaltered faith in his gaze while Sarrum seemed to be waiting with bated breath what Arthur would do. They all were. Merlin, however, didn’t even look at the sword, just at Arthur. Arthur knew he had to test it. To test Merlin’s resolve, his faith. Arthur dragged the blade across Merlin’s throat, breaking skin. Merlin didn’t even twitch as his blood ran down the blade. Arthur’s eyes widened then. Merlin was prepared to die by Arthur’s hand. And he wasn’t even mad about it.

Arthur redrew his sword and cleaned it off on the ground before turning around to face King Sarrum. The man quickly drew his own sword. “I think I have a choice to make here, don’t I, King Sarrum?”

Sarrum scowled at him. “Are you a coward? You believe anything he just told you?”

“I said, I have a choice to make, King Sarrum!” Arthur snapped. “Of who I wish to make peace with. With Amata -” Arthur turned to Merlin. “Or magic.”

Suddenly, Merlin lost his composure. “Hold on, what is happening?”

King Sarrum, however, had his eyes widen. “According to your laws, magic is forbidden! You HAVE to kill him! And if you want peace with Amata, you will kill that dragon as well!”

Arthur took that in for but a moment. Then, Arthur raised his chin and narrowed his gaze. “It is true that Camelot has been at war with magic. But you forget that wars can be put to rest. All it needs is a peace treaty. And, as you told me, Emrys is the KING of the druids.”

Chapter Text

Arthur’s words hung heavy in the air. Sarrum stared at Arthur as if trying to figure out what went wrong in his head. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am very serious.” And how could Arthur not be? The answer had been right there, hidden in Sarrum’s books, books that Uther would have burned on sight.

“He may be a King, but only in title. He doesn’t have a kingdom! There is no land to his name! He has no money, no castle, nothing! What makes you think he’s worth reasoning with?”

Arthur raised his sword a little higher. “I think you misunderstand what a kingdom is. A kingdom is not simply defined by land or borders, it is determined by its people. All these years we have been judging over people that aren’t our own. Why I need to reason with the King of the Druids? Because if we kill him, there will be an army of magic users attacking our kingdoms and apparently -” Arthur pointed at Aithusa, “he has dragons.”

Sarrum scowled at him before he snapped: “If his people live in my kingdom, they are my people by definition!”

“No, they aren’t! And you’re proving that yourself! If being a magic user gets you killed, then you’re banning them from your kingdom, SHOWING that they don't belong. Camelot has done the same thing. Where do you suggest they go? How could they all live in one giant kingdom if just anyone can pick up the art? My sister turned to magic and that alone made her our enemy. If they appear anywhere in the world at random, then of course they don’t have borders to claim their own.”
Sarrum opened his mouth, then closed it. That alone proved to Arthur that he had won the argument. But he wasn’t quite done yet. “If Emrys is the King of the Druids, the last Dragonlord and magic himself, then we need to let him judge upon his own people. What does it say about us that we simply ignored him and slaughtered his people while he didn’t even kill you to save his own daughter!”

Sarrum let down his sword, clearly thinking hard. “Well, I would say, if we have to reason with him, then let us hear what his demands are? And what he can provide in exchange?”

Arthur nodded, then turned to Merlin, bracing himself for what may come next. “You heard him, Emrys. The peace negotiations are open. What are your demands?” Emrys. How strange the name tasted on his tongue.

Merlin stared at them both, then slowly rose to his feet. Uncertain, he faced them, emotion guiding his voice as he spoke. “I wish for my daughter to be free.”

“Are you kidding me-”

“Let him speak, Sarrum!” Arthur glared at him.

Merlin nodded gratefully. “I wish for you to judge magic users on their actions and not kill them for having magic. It is nothing they choose, magic chooses THEM. And lastly -” Merlin took a deep breath. “I want to know where that dragon gate is.”

Sarrum’s eyes nearly boggled out of their sockets. “NO. NEVER.” He shook his head vehemently. “That dragon alone is enough to destroy a kingdom. I won’t give you an ARMY. And magic users have threatened my kingdom and Camelot too- for years! I can’t do any of that! What do we get in return? He is a servant, what could HE even provide?!” The last part was directed at Arthur and Arthur knew the man was more than annoyed at this point.

No wonder. He had been open enough to invite Arthur and his men and what did Arthur do? Invite a sorcerer who freed the dragon Sarrum kept in the dungeon for safekeeping, let him destroy a big part of the castle and now Arthur demanded Sarrum to respect that same man with not only respect, but the respect worthy of a King. Arthur was demanding a lot. No matter how sure Arthur was that he was doing the right thing, it was too much to spring on a man so suddenly.
Still. “What do we get in return, Emrys?”

Merlin’s eyes were full of devotion for Arthur, in a way that physically hurt as he turned back to him. “It’s a lot simpler than you might think.” Merlin smiled coyly. “Free magic and magic will be your friend. Let my people live in peace and you will receive peace in turn. Give them land and they can use magic to grow plants quicker than your farmers ever could. You will never starve again when the weather turns against you. Reach out your hand to my people and they can heal your wounds. Give them homes and they will help you build castles higher than you see. Let me free the dragons and I will order them to protect you from your enemies.” Merlin paused meaningfully. “That is what I can offer.”

Arthur’s eyes blurred for a moment as he forgot to blink at Merlin’s promise. He hadn’t expected Merlin to have thought this through to that extent. Arthur chanced a glance at Sarrum who seemed to have lost his ability to speak. “Does that answer your question, King Sarrum?”

Sarrum caught himself. “And what if we don’t do it? What if we don’t listen to you?”

Merlin’s gaze darkened. Arthur had a bad feeling about this but if he had to treat Merlin as Emrys, as a KING, then he had to let Merlin fight his own battles. The power behind Merlin’s voice loomed dangerously over them. “Then your land will wither, your wounds will never heal and once I found the gate, your kingdom will cease to exist.” Merlin suddenly seemed taller, more powerful than Arthur had ever seen him and somehow, terribly terrifying. The silence that followed reeked of fear and dragon’s blood. Before any of them could accuse Merlin of blackmailing, Merlin elaborated: “Magic is tied to the very fabric of the world. Ban it from your land and you will receive the consequences. This is not a threat, Sarrum.” Merlin paused dramatically. “That is simply what will happen if you drain the earth of its life without giving back. When I let the dragons roam as they please - and trust me, I will find the gate, it’s my duty as Dragonlord to set them free- they will seek revenge for what you will choose to do to them. And I won’t be lifting a hand when they defend themselves.”

Terror was not enough to describe what Arthur was feeling at that moment. His heart was pounding in his chest at the threat and the fear that went along with it. Arthur was anxious. He had not been prepared for Merlin acting all tough and powerful. He had not expected Merlin to hold all the cards in his hand. Arthur had hoped Merlin was still the same frightened servant he’d always been, albeit with magic. That he wasn’t aware of what him being Emrys truly meant. Arthur had only planned on helping Merlin out, giving him immunity and a chance to reason and help him grow into his role as King. He had not expected this.

Arthur swallowed hard. Then, he stuck his sword into the ground and reached out his sweating, albeit gloved hand. “In the name of Camelot, I accept your demands.” They sounded reasonable. Terrifying but reasonable and in a way, inevitable. “In exchange for peace, I will bring peace to your people.”

Merlin turned to Arthur, the power still swirling around him. Yet, his expression relaxed. He seemed somewhat surprised to see Arthur’s hand outstretched to him, but he reached out non the less. “Thank you, Arthur.” He squeezed his hand in a stronger grip than Arthur had expected. Merlin twitched a smile. “My king.” Arthur’s breath hitched and he quickly let go as if he had been burned.

Sarrum, however, stepped back. “You cannot expect me to agree to such impossible demands! All of this is ridiculous! That dragon is MINE! Sorcerers and magic are pure evil! There will never be peace if I let them roam freely!”

Merlin stared at Arthur a moment longer before he averted his eyes and glanced at Sarrum. “If that is your wish.”

“NO!” Sarrum growled. “I won’t let you threaten me!”

“I told you it’s not a threat-” Merlin said, eyes narrowing and it was at those words that something behind them moved. High from the sky, something grew rapidly closer and Arthur nearly had a heart attack. Merlin froze, then turned around and grimaced. “Oh- But I guess I forgot to mention that I called for backup.”

“Backup?” Sarrum stumbled backwards, hitting a tree in his blind retreat. “Is that -”

“That, King Sarrum, is Kilgharrah.” Merlin sighed. The trees around them bent at the wind those wings caused.

“Merlin-” Arthur said, quickly grabbing his sword once again. HECK, it was one thing after another today. “What do you need backup for?” Yeah, okay, that was definitely the great dragon. Who was alive!

Merlin shifted nervously, which looked oddly funny, all things considered. “Someone had to take care of Aithusa after you killed me… well, that was the plan.”

The plan. For after Arthur killed him. Holy shit, how was Merlin so casual about all of this? “So, you called another dragon?”

“He won’t do anything to you! I ordered him to stay away from Camelot! He’s not going to hurt you.”

“I believe that when I see it.” Arthur felt cold sweat running down his back as the giant creature burst through the trees and basically forced a line into the clearing by fiery breath. After obliterating a full on tree, the giant creature landed on its sharp claws and raised his head so close to Arthur that he could see its giant fangs up close. It was as if Arthur’s worst nightmare had come back to live.

And then- “Young warlock, you have called me.” The dragon SPOKE and BOWED to him.

Arthur’s arms went limp. “This is a dream. I’m having a fever. This is not happening.” Normally, Arthur would have run off, or maybe try to attack the dragon, but after everything that had happened today, he didn’t feel confident enough to move. King Sarrum seemed to have no such qualms, because he quickly turned on his heels, screaming at his men in the forest to take cover. Useless, Arthur thought as he tried to keep standing where he was. That Dragon could destroy the entire forest in a single breath.

Suddenly, Arthur no longer trusted his own decision to make peace with magic. To trust Merlin, Emrys, or whichever his real name was. Arthur no longer felt secure on his feet, wind blasting in his face and the ground beneath him shaking just from the presence of one of Emrys’ little pets.

Lancelot, Elian and Leon finally shifted into nervous, uncoordinated fighting stances, although they were waiting for Arthur’s order. An order that would never come because Arthur was too frightened to do anything. Merlin remained calm in front of the giant threat.

“Kilgharrah.” Merlin greeted the dragon calmly, like an old friend. He stepped forward, between Arthur and the Dragon and Arthur was grateful for the layer of protection.

The dragon scanned the clearing with his golden eyes before they settled sadly on the white dragon. She seemed to have been sleeping up until now, although her eyes were blaringly open, accepting of whatever fate awaited her. “What happened?” The dragon’s voice was loud and clear, yet sad and exhausted. The sight before him did not surprise him but it caused him pain.

“I failed her.” Merlin responded quietly, accepting.

The dragon closed his eyes. “Do not blame yourself, young warlock. You set her free, you did as you had to, it is not your fault.” He paused before looking back up and meeting Merlin’s eyes. In a strange way, it seemed like the giant creature was looking UP to Merlin.

“It was my job to protect her.”

The dragon remained quiet for a while and it seemed like Merlin had spoken the last word. Then, Kilgharrah sighed, nodding at the warlock. “Why have you called me?”

Merlin braced himself. “I need your help healing her. I need you to take care of her.”

The dragon straightened himself in surprise. “I have told you before that although you seem to think so, I am not all knowing. Healing has never been my fortune and I am not a babysitter.”

Merlin frowned and clicked his teeth. “Well, then be glad my plans have changed. You will only have to babysit her for a couple of days. Answer me this: What do you know about the Dragon gate?”

It was odd to think that the dragon’s features were somehow humanoid but he raised his brows in a way that was way too reminiscent of Gaius’. Arthur’s grip on the sword tightened. “Merlin -,” Arthur hissed because he was very uncomfortable with the fact that the dragon was completely ignoring him. As if he were a bug not worth the attention.

The dragon noticed his reaction and slowly his golden eyes strayed to Arthur. Arthur nearly fainted. “King Arthur-,” the dragon spoke, “It is an honor to finally meet you.”

Arthur was pretty sure his heart was ready to give out. It was pounding so hard that he was sure he wouldn’t make it, but he had not lost his voice yet. “We’ve met before.”

“We have?” The dragon sounded genuinely surprised, yet it didn’t help that his teeth were about as big as Arthur’s forearm.

“You attacked me and my knights. I thought I had killed you. Many people died.”

“Oh yeah -” The dragon nodded as if suddenly remembering. “It was hard to tell, you all look the same in your shiny little boxes from above.”

“You mean my armor?” Arthur blanched.

“Kilgharrah!,” Merlin dared to scold the creature. “The dragon gate.”

“Ah yes.” Kilgharrah’s attention returned to Merlin whom he seemed to be taking a lot more seriously. “You’ve never been very patient. It is a legend, young warlock. A tale told to our young to deal with grief and loss. It is said that the souls of our dead would all return to one place at the heart of magic and that one day, the gates will be reopened and the dragons return to the land.”

“At the heart of magic?”

“It is a fairy tale, young warlock. It exists to provide comfort.”

Merlin, strangely enough, mimed the brow of sincere doubt. “A fairy tale? After all the prophecies, destinies and legends you keep annoying me with, THIS is just a tale to you?” Merlin paused. “I am literally magic itself, doesn’t this imply I have some kind of access to that gate?”

The dragon tilted his head a little. “I have seen many things, I have seen empires rise and fall and I know the fate of men. But even I cannot see the path to my own destiny. When you found the dragon egg, I had not believed I would ever see such a wonder again. Faith is a dangerous weapon. It can enable you to do great things, but it can also crush your soul. I am old, Merlin. And my expectations and hopes are worn thin. Sometimes it is better not to hope. It can save a lot of heartbreak.”

The words sunk in slowly before Merlin exhaled a deep breath. “Normally, I have a lot to say to you but I would rather do it at a different time. Now I want you to tell me what you know. If it exists, I wish to open the gate.”

The dragon nodded gracefully, no - he bowed to Merlin before he complied. “I have told you nearly all I know. It is said that you need a white dragon to open it. To find the gate you must trace the trail of the ancient Kings but I do not know what that means. That is all I have, young warlock.”

Merlin nodded to him, then seemed to consider for a moment. “Thank you, Kilgharrah. I still want you to stay here and make sure Aithusa is safe.” He turned to Lancelot. “Lance, You stay too. Kilgharrah won’t harm you but he can surely tell you how to take care of Aithusa’s wounds even if his own magic isn’t enough.”

Lancelot seemed startled as he was addressed but he quickly nodded, completely disregarding the fact that he was a knight of Camelot, not of Emrys. “Of course.” He said and added: “Your highness.” With a smirk, to which Merlin grimaced.

Finally, for the first time in a couple of minutes, Merlin’s attention fell back on Arthur. “Arthur, you and I should go together.”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “Together?” With Merlin? “On a quest to unleash the dragons?”

“You gave me your word.” Merlin’s expression shifted with obvious nerves. To set his people free. To set the dragons free. “Unless you’ve changed your mind.”

“No. Yeah, I mean, of course I’ll come with you.” Arthur swallowed and retracted his sword once again. Then he forced himself into a more confident stance. “I’ll come with you.”

Merlin relaxed before he answered. “I understand that this is a lot.” That was probably the understatement of the year. “If it makes you more comfortable, you can choose people to guard you.” Merlin shifted nervously. “I don’t expect you to trust me.” He paused. “I mean- you kind of do, don’t you? You did give me your word… I just mean, if it helps. You probably won’t want to be alone with me right now.” He was stuttering and twitching and seemingly very unsure.

And to Arthur’s own discomfort, Merlin was right. With both assessments. He couldn’t trust him, yet he couldn’t fully stop trusting him. It was a difficult feeling to have. Knowing that if he was just being foolish, if Merlin was tricking him, he was dooming more than just Camelot’s future. “I won’t take any of my knights with me.”

Merlin blinked in surprise. “No? Why not?”

“I don’t know how many of them you’ve manipulated.” The words were harsh and Arthur knew that but right now, he needed the distance. He needed a realistic idea of whom to trust and right now, every person he’d ever trusted, blindly followed Merlin’s decisions. It made sense that they were confused. It made sense that they had listened to Merlin. Merlin was the person closest to Arthur, who’s guidance he himself had followed more often than he should like to admit. He was the man his knights relied on when Arthur was unconscious or absent, sometimes even above Agravaine’s orders who was supposed to be Arthur’s right hand.
Arthur knew all that, had agreed to a diplomatic discussion with Emrys, and yet he needed to rely on people that were not immediately drawn to Merlin. The lies, the secrecy, they made Arthur unsure. It made him feel like something important had been taken from him. Arthur needed control over the situation more than ever before.

Merlin’s relief hardened to something like bitter understanding. “I understand.”

Arthur closed his eyes for a moment, thinking deeply of whom he wanted to take with him, instead. Sir Leon may be his best option among the knights but he had already decided not to take the knights who had been exposed to Merlin’s charm. If Arthur wanted distance, wanted to reassess his picture of Merlin and see him more objectively, then he would have to rely on people neither of them knew. People who may even hate Merlin.
Arthur thought of Sarrum, but immediately discarded the idea since the man had already fled. “Elian, Leon -” Arthur began. “Tell Gwaine and Percival to stay here and take care of that dragon. Make sure King Sarrum doesn’t get any stupid ideas. If he sends troops to Camelot, return home to defend it and send Sir Leon to inform me. Abandon the dragon only if you have to.”

“Sire!” Elian spoke up for the first time since the entire thing started. Confusion and fear was written all over his face. “You want us to stay with two dragons?”

Arthur gritted his teeth. “I will be honest, Sir Elian. I cannot guarantee your safety. I have made the decision to put faith in this new peace treaty between Emrys and Camelot, and I ask you to trust in me. But should I be proven wrong, take cover and save yourselves. There is no dishonor in running from a dragon. Trust me, I’d rather know you back in Camelot, alive, than here.” Arthur paused, watching Elian calm slightly. “But- should I be proven wrong in all of you and you only ever followed Merlin, and not me - then this is your chance to find out whom you’ve been trusting all this time.”

Arthur had never felt as distant from his knights as he did in this moment. He had never felt more torn and alone, even when he saw Elian’s expression darken in sudden determination. “I have sworn loyalty to you, Sire. And I trust your decision.”

Sir Leon didn’t look all that impressed but he nodded at Arthur as well. “Well, I suppose, if Merlin wanted to, he’d feed us to the dragons regardless of what we do. If one dragon alone is enough to destroy Camelot, then what difference makes an army?” He put on a calming smile. “We never regretted trusting in either of you. I, too, trust your decision.”

Arthur didn’t believe in those words for a single second. “And Lancelot?” Sir Lancelot straightened his back. “If you’re so keen on listening to Merlin’s orders, then you will be in charge of these dragons. You alone must stay here, no matter what happens. Your only order is to guard the dragon. Defend her with your life if you must.” Arthur chanced a glance at a patient Merlin who was listening and not once interrupting. “I promised I would bring peace to your people, even if that includes the dragons. Until after we signed a treaty, after I’m certain of whether or not it is wise to trust you, Sir Lancelot will be considered your knight. Whether he is a traitor will be determined after.”

Merlin didn’t seem very surprised. Perhaps, and Arthur hoped that was the reason, Merlin didn’t doubt his own trustworthiness. Sir Lancelot, however, grimaced as he looked from one King to another, and wasn’t that a funny thought?

Merlin sent Arthur a calm smile. “Anything, Arthur. Whatever you need.”

The words hit Arthur deep where his guilt was being suppressed by his doubt.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“This is insane.”

“Matthew, calm down.”

“We are traveling with King Arthur of Camelot, THE king who hates magic and EMRYS himself who killed our comrades. To open a gate to a bunch of murder creatures! How on earth am I supposed to stay calm?”

Arthur’s nerves were still trying to settle as he blindly followed Merlin into the woods. He had no idea what Merlin’s plan was and he wasn’t quite sure how to ask. There were a few things that didn’t make sense that Merlin would have to explain to him later but it hadn’t felt like the timing was right. It had seemed more important to him to have people join that wouldn’t trust Merlin. It seemed most reasonable to ask the ruffian who had just buried his comrades whom Merlin had murdered. Salem had first seemed very confused, then he’d agreed under the condition to travel with his partner. And it had taken a long time to convince THAT man to come with.
In addition to these ruffians with questionable morale, Arthur had sent Sir Leon to bring Sir Kay who had remained in the castle. Since Merlin distrusted Sir Kay and Kay liked to quote Agravaine’s mistrust on Merlin in turn, Arthur figured that the youngster was less of a risk than the adult knights.

It had gone a little like this:

Sir Kay had nearly had a heart attack as he reached the clearing that evening and they explained the situation to him. “I KNEW Merlin wasn’t trustworthy! He always seemed to be hiding something!” And then he’d blanched when Arthur explained to him what they were planning, although he wisely kept him away from Aithusa and the other giant dragon who watched the whole thing unfold like a private show. When Arthur had finally announced that the two ruffians would come with them, Kay had practically fainted.

“King Sarrum told us not to return to the castle.” Sir Leon had added calmly as he brought out all their belongings. “He allowed us to gather our things but he warned us to keep away from Amata.” He had given Arthur a package of his things before he went on to deliver Merlin his. “I suggest that once the dragon is a little better, we take her to Camelot. It will be a long trip, but it would be better than leave her here under Sarrum’s threat.”

The gears in Arthur’s mind had twisted and turned, unsure what to make of Leon’s proposal. It made sense, yet it was terrifying to think of moving the dragon closer to home. “You’re taking all of this awfully well, Sir Leon.”

Sir Leon didn’t even twitch as he went to pet his horse. “I’ve seen quite a few things as a knight of Camelot. It’s always been my job to watch, listen and obey. I have watched Merlin risk his life for yours, I listened to the way he speaks to you and how you speak to him, even how you speak about each other, and I trust in your orders, my lord.” He turned to Arthur with a calm smile. “There is very little that can shock me. If this is about your concerns for my loyalty, my life belongs to Camelot, regardless of the King or Queen in charge. My objective could not be simpler. In case that’s what worries you.”

The conflict never left Arthur, even as they ventured deeper into the forest, following after Merlin’s back, leaving the safety of the knight network behind. At least Sir Kay had put himself back together.

“Emrys, where exactly are we headed?” Arthur had sworn to himself that this was going to be a trip of two kings. He and Merlin had a lot to discuss, a lot of secrets to explain and put in context. There was a whole new person Arthur had to get to know. A whole different Merlin, and it was easier to distinguish the two by the name that marked the lie itself. Even if it was difficult to see Merlin as anything other than the man Arthur had known, it was nearly impossible to see him without the magic, now.

Emrys used his hand to push some branches out of the way, considerately waiting for Arthur to pass them. The ruffians were being guided by a very grumpy and terrified Sir Kay. Once they were walking side by side, Merlin spoke up. “We’re headed for the valley of the fallen kings. When something is tied to the ancient kings, it usually leads there.”

Arthur blinked at the implication as he stumbled ahead. “So - this happens often?”

Merlin nodded. “More often than you'd think.” After that, Merlin went quiet again and that made Arthur twitchy. It had been hard enough to start that conversation, now it was hard to keep it going.

“Care to elaborate?”

Merlin considered for a tad too long. “Not really.”

Arthur hated this. This feeling of emotional distance. He wanted to bridge the wall between them, wanted desperately to gain certainty and reassurance that he'd made the right decision. The lifted secret only added to the mystery that Merlin was, it enhanced the enigma and layered him in a dangerous aura, making Arthur more and more wary, the more he realized how little he knew his friend. And that, ironically, caused Arthur to crave even more distance. To get away, to pretend it wasn’t all there. So obvious and painful like a blade twisting in his chest.

“Since when have you been practicing magic?” Even as Arthur said it, he knew it was a stupid question.

Merlin hesitated. “Always,” he clipped shortly, awkwardly.

“Merlin.” Arthur slipped up, urging him to be more precise.

“I don't know how else to say it. I was born with it.” Merlin said a little frustrated. “The first time I opened my eyes, they were golden. That's what my mom told me anyway.”

Arthur fell a little behind, still trying to catch up. “And your father -”

“I've known Balinor for as long as you have.” Merlin tensed around the question. “I inherited his powers the moment he died.”

Every response felt like a blow to the gut. “And you sent the dragon away, telling me I defeated it to protect Camelot and save my honor.”

“Sort of.” Silence followed. Arthur tried to see it positively. Merlin did still answer him, that was good. Putting into words what had happened was good too. It gave Arthur perspective and put the mystery into context.

“This is weird.” Arthur muttered because it really was. “All this time, you lied to me. You’re not a fool, you’re not weak - you’re… someone else. And it’s strange - the other you.”

Merlin bit his lip before he stopped in his tracks, forcing Arthur to pause as well. “All I ever wanted -,” Merlin said with an intensity to his voice and his eyes that put Arthur’s heart on fire, “was for you to see me for who I really am. And it’s - You still knew me better than anyone else did, Arthur.” He gave Arthur a moment to absorb the passion and the pain, then he turned back to keep moving.

Arthur followed after him a little wobbly on his knees once again. This time not of fear but emotional pain. And confusion. And something else that had long become integral to each of his conversations with Merlin. It used to act up every time Merlin did something strange or ominous, things that made Arthur wonder. Now, Merlin’s answer was no longer confusing, it was clear and honest and now, instead of being free of this feeling, Arthur ached even worse than ever before.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Merlin’s PoV:

It hurt. Seeing Arthur look at him with so much confusion and pain and the desperate need to understand, the near plead for Merlin to explain, to not be a liar, to not be a traitor - it literally burned in his heart, making it hard to breathe and even harder to speak, knowing that he couldn’t give him that.

Arthur was the best King Albion would ever know. That sentence still rang true, was proven even when Arthur had decided not to kill but to elevate Merlin’s position. No longer a servant, now a King. Merlin wanted to hit his head against the tree because of what it cost him. His honesty had cost him his friendship and his trust. He couldn’t care less about the title.

“I think we should make up camp.” It had gotten dark and they were all exhausted from the events of this day, as Arthur correctly pointed out. “Sir Kay, Salem, Matthew, you three should sleep. I’ll keep first watch.”

Merlin turned to Arthur. “You never take a watch.”

Arthur started a moment and looked as if he wanted to apologize to Merlin in the same breath he wanted to ridicule him. “I don’t think I could sleep if I tried. And I’m -”

“You’re not sure whom to trust.”

Arthur bit his lip again. “I just-”

“No need to explain.” Merlin nodded with what he hoped was an understanding smile. “I’ll sleep for a couple hours if you don’t mind. My magic will wake me if something happens but you can wake me too. I’ll be there whenever you need me.” With that, Merlin walked around the trees, trying to figure out where exactly they were. Then he went to gather some firewood. However -

Sir Kay’s voice reached him almost hatefully before Merlin had even left the camp. “Where are you going?”

Merlin turned around to face the knight. Merlin could see Arthur tense but the King didn’t comment on Sir Kay’s behavior. Instead, he turned to the ruffians and gave them orders on getting water or helping him hunt, his back pointedly turned on them. “I’m getting firewood. And food if I find any. You can join me if you like.”

Sir Kay grumbled, hand uselessly on the pommel of his sword. “You’re not fooling me, you know?! Magic is evil and so are you.”

Merlin grimaced. “If it were that simple, then you were already dead.”

Sir Kay twitched and suddenly he unsheathed his sword, pointing it at an unmoving Merlin. “You’re threatening a knight of Camelot! Don’t underestimate me!”

Merlin glanced at the blade and sighed. “Put that thing down before you hurt yourself. I’ve faced kittens more threatening than you.” Merlin pushed the sword down and moved on to venture deeper into the woods. “To be fair she was giant and technically cursed to kill, but she was still a kitten.”

Sputtering and probably confused, Sir Kay followed after him. And because it was easier to fall back into old habits, Merlin mindlessly picked up wood and put them into Sir Kay’s arms. At first, the knight stumbled and let his sword fall under the weight, so Merlin made sure to sheath the sword for him, which at first seemed to terrify the knight out of his mind. “Thanks.” He then said quietly, almost helpless. But he was young and polite and despite what he said, he respected Merlin. Because the other knights respected Merlin. He just didn’t know why. “The King trusts you.”

Merlin tensed, then led them further away from the camp. “Not right now. Not as much as he used to.”

“How could you do this to him? To Camelot! You betrayed him!” Although accusing, the boy seemed far more confused than anything. He was curious and that was a good thing.

“In my experience, betrayal has many layers,” Merlin answered honestly. “If you want to talk about my actions, you have to define what the betrayal is first before you accuse me of it. If it’s the magic, then I couldn’t help it. I cannot change who I am. If you want to talk about the decisions I’ve made, I assure you I did them with Camelot’s best interest at heart. If there was a moment I defied Camelot, then I betrayed Uther’s Camelot to protect Arthurs’, and if you want to talk about the secrecy and the lies, then I did it to protect my friends, my family, my dragon, my people or my destiny.” Merlin sent the startled boy a glance. “Sometimes you don’t choose to betray people, sometimes your only choice is WHO to betray. Besides, I feel betrayed too, you know?” Merlin put another lumps of wood in Sir Kay’s arm. “A kingdom is there to protect its people. Therefore I was betrayed the moment I was born.” Merlin moved on, the wind rustling through his hair. “Sometimes I wonder how you knights can be so obsessed with loyalty when you don’t understand what people pay for it.” Merlin stopped handing the wood to Kay and loaded them onto himself.

“Pay? The price for loyalty is our lives! That is what we pay!” He raised his chin to seem more threatening. “If you had any honor, you would know that!”

Merlin sighed. “The price for loyalty, Sir Kay, is betrayal. If you choose to be loyal to your King, you have to be ready to betray everyone else, including yourself.” Merlin pondered a moment, then faced Sir Kay once more, watching the man tense around the advice. “Giving up your life is a rather cheap price to pay if you ask me.”

Sir Kay paled.

“Come on,” Merlin nudged the youngster in the side with his sharp elbow. “We'll bring back the wood, then we can hunt dinner.”

The knight may have protested but perhaps he took Merlin's explanation to heart.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Arthur's PoV:

He didn't want to know what Merlin had discussed with Sir Kay to find the young man so frightened and deep in thought. It did, however, make him anxious not to know.

Matthew and Salem had been bickering the entire time they brought water and put out their bedrolls and it made Arthur crave for simpler times.

Eventually, after they had gathered food and prepared the camp, they all sat around the fireplace where Merlin struggled making a fire for them.

“What do you think he's doing?” Salem whispered to Matt.

“Are you blind? He's making a fire!”

“I’m not dumb, Matt! Why isn't he using magic?”

Merlin sighed. “You do know that I can hear you, right?”

At that, both men startled and clung to each other protectively. Arthur wished he could laugh at the idea that a bunch of ruffians were terrified of his manservant. Then Arthur remembered what had killed their comrades and all the humor was forgotten.

At Arthur's glance, Merlin shrugged apologetically. “It's a habit.” Then his eyes glowed for a moment and the fire was lit.

“Damn, that's a handy skill.” Matthew mumbled. “Can you do that?” He turned to Salem who flicked him against the forehead.

“I can NOT, and you know that!”

Arthur perked up. “What is he talking about? Do you have magic?”

Salem shifted nervously. His eyes glanced from King Arthur to Emrys himself while he considered whether or not to answer. “Well, yes but very little. I grew up among the druids and I learned some simple things, like talking telepathically. I don't do it often because it's annoying to be randomly talked to.”

Merlin snorted. “Oh yeah, tell me about it.”

Arthur glanced at him, at the offhanded smile, and quickly looked away. “Mind speak is considered little?”

“Oh yeah,” Salem confirmed. “You have to have magic for it but it's kind of the lowest form of it. I mean, it's talking, so whatever.”

Arthur now, suddenly, felt curious as he saw the sterner looking Matt squeeze Salem’s hand. “And how did you two meet?”

Salem raised a brow, clearly surprised that he was so interesting to the King of Camelot. “Well, uh -” He chanced a glance at his partner, then uncovered his arm to reveal the druid symbol. For a moment the triskele silenced the round, then he went on to explain. “It's a bit of a long story but yeah. Erm. I didn't have enough magic to really use it but it had been enough for my parents to notice and bring me to a place they thought I'd be safe in. So, the druids took care of me instead. But having this symbol is more a curse than a blessing. It marks me as lawless. Unprotected by the laws of any kingdom and free to hunt for whoever wants to. When I met Matt, he was a bounty hunter who specialized in capturing druids and bringing them to whoever paid for them. He and a couple others attacked our camp, he captured me and yeah.” He glanced at Matt again. “That's how we met.”

“Okay, hold on.” Arthur was flabbergasted. “You can't be telling me THAT'S how you met!”

Salem laughed: “But it's true.”

“Then how -”

Salem shrugged. “I wasn't worth much on the market and he found me annoying.”

“Because you ARE annoying.”

“I'm actually the reasonable one.” Salem said with a cheshire grin.

“Reasonable my ass! You made us follow the guy who killed our crew, and the king of Camelot!” Matt grunted.

“My instincts are also much better than his.” Matt added, ignoring his partner. “I saved his life twice on our way to King Cendred who he wanted to sell me to. So he also kind of owed me his life. That's why he eventually relented.”

“You protected me from a swarm of bees that YOU provoked!”

“And you're allergic!!!” Salem kept grinning widely.

Arthur couldn't help but smile at the exchange. It felt strangely familiar. He glanced at Merlin who was smiling fondly as well, although there was a guilt there. Merlin had moved on to prepare their food which was why his smile was mostly directed at the animal in his lap.
Then, suddenly, Merlin spoke up. “I'm sorry for what happened to your comrades. I was protecting my daughter. They would have shot her.”

The two men went quiet. Salem nodded seriously. “I know. I knew it then too. You only redirected what they threw at you. And I saw the state that the dragon was in. I get it. And don't worry about those two, we only worked for them because we owed them money.”

“Thank you.” Merlin looked up with gratitude in his eyes, then returned to the food.

Arthur cleared his throat at the awkward situation. Even Sir Kay had gone eerily quiet. Then Arthur turned to Matt. “What's it like… Living with a magic user?”

Matt frowned. “Uh - I dunno. Normal, I guess. He sometimes senses weird shit in the forest but that's it. He's just a guy.”

“Oi!” Salem looked unimpressed. “I am the love of your life, remember? I'm not just a guy.”

“I have low standards.”

Salem actually kicked him for that but Matt only grinned at the reaction.

Arthur could tell that Matt was lying. He seemed protective, like a guardian almost. And the gleam in his eyes was the most in love expression Arthur had ever seen. It was even dopier than the one Uther had had when he had fallen in love with that troll.

“What about you?,” Salem suddenly asked. “You two seem pretty close.”

Arthur's eyes widened. He didn't mean like - Arthur quickly gathered his wits. “Merlin - I mean, Emrys here, was my manservant.” Somehow Arthur's ideas ran out right there.

“Uhuh.” Salem exchanged a glance with his boyfriend. “You guys did mention that. How come the great Emrys ended up as your manservant?”

Arthur turned to Merlin. “Yeah. How DID the great Emrys end up my manservant?”

Merlin shrugged at first. “You know exactly how it went, Sire. I came to Camelot, I saved your life, your father declared me your manservant. That's all there is to it.”

“But you're Emrys!” Arthur really wanted to understand. Why would someone as powerful as Merlin come to Camelot?

“Can you stop calling me that?! It's weird enough when the druids do it. My name is Merlin, always has been. I didn't know who Emrys was for a very long time until Mordred called me that, and I needed Kilgharrah to explain why.”

“And you just thought you could go down into the dungeons to speak to a dragon?”

Merlin snorted. “No no. It's like Salem just told you. It's annoying when you're constantly called in your head and Kilgharrah is a very patient and a very annoying dragon. And sometimes I needed his advice to save your life so I talked to him.”

“I see.” Arthur fumbled around with his hands. “But why did you stay? Wasn’t it way too dangerous for you to stay in Camelot? And right in my service?”

Merlin shrugged. “Yeah well, those were my thoughts too after I saw you bully that servant of yours.”

Arthur shifted nervously as all eyes judgingly turned to him.

“Even when the dragon told me that you were destined to become the greatest King Albion had ever known, I still thought you were a pratt.” Merlin smirked at Arthur who found himself - lost. That’s why Merlin stayed? “I still think you are one, by the way.” Merlin added, ripping Arthur from his thoughts. “It didn’t take me very long to understand what the dragon meant. You have a good heart, Arthur. And you needed someone who told you that when everyone around you wanted you to believe it was a weakness. It wasn’t very hard to stay by your side and I never regretted it.”

“I’m hardly the greatest King Albion has ever known if my best friend can’t even tell me who he really is.”

Merlin looked up and likely saw the pain in Arthur’s eyes. “I have my own failings too, you know? At first, it was the fear of your father, then it was my regrets and in the end -” Merlin paused heavily. “I was ashamed.”

“Ashamed?”

“Of myself. Not of the magic, never the magic, but the way I betrayed it. I let people die that I could have saved. I told you magic was evil more than once, I sacrificed people in your name and lied to you. I’m not the man you thought I was and I’m - afraid I never will be.” Merlin closed his eyes as if this was the heaviest burden he had to bear. “And the worst part is, if I share it, all of it, you might think worse of yourself, because I know you, Arthur. You’ve always taken on burdens that aren’t your own. You feel betrayed, you lost your trust in everyone and you blame yourself because of me -” Merlin dared to meet Arthur’s eyes. “And now I can’t even be there for you to bear it. I’m just another traitor in your book and in a way, you’re right. I just -” Merlin inhaled shakily. “You deserve better than that.”

Was Arthur imagining it or did Merlin have tears in his eyes? The small gathering was quiet once again as Merlin tried to catch his breath. Arthur took in the words, tried to process them but it was hard. What Merlin wanted, his objective, it seemed so simple now. ‘Whatever you need, Arthur.’ Merlin wanted to be whatever Arthur needed. More, he wanted to be whatever Arthur deserved. “No, Merlin -” Arthur whispered. “You deserve better than that.”

Their eyes met for another few moments before Merlin sniffed awkwardly and announced that their food was ready. The other three witnesses wisely kept their mouths shut.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Merlin stayed awfully close to Arthur that night. Arthur kept sitting against a tree during his watch, still not able to sleep. From the other side of the camp, he could hear one of the ruffians snoring while Sir Kay slept near the fire. The boy had announced that he’d keep watch with Arthur but he had fallen asleep quickly. Merlin was curled up not far from Arthur’s feet, head towards him as if the quietest noise from Arthur would wake him into action.

Suddenly, Arthur heard some rustling and saw how Salem got up, shoving Matt off of him before he took his blanket and walked over to Arthur. “Hey,” he greeted him and sat down beside him.

Arthur nodded back. “Can’t sleep?”

“Matt snores. I usually take first watch, it’s easier to bear when I’m dead on my feet.”

Arthur hummed in response as he played with a loose branch, rearranging the leafs around Merlin’s head.

“He’s - different than I thought.” Salem suddenly said. “Emrys, I mean.”

Arthur halted for a moment. “You think? I feel like he’s a lot more the person I thought he was than I thought he was…” Arthur frowned. “You know what I mean. It’s just - I’ve known him for so long and when he turned out to be a sorcerer, I thought the first thing he’d do is try to murder me. Instead - well.” Arthur pointed vaguely at him. “He’s even more of an enigma now.”

Salem smiled and put the blanket closer around himself against the wind. “I didn’t know him as your servant, I meant more like how the druids described him. I thought he’d be older, taller, wiser.”

“He can be wise sometimes.” Arthur paused. “Now that I think about it, this explains a lot, actually.”

Salem hummed. “When he killed our comrades, I could see it better. He’s powerful, and terrifying. Doesn’t let anyone deter him. It’s either bow down or be killed.” He chanced a look at Arthur. “He looks up to you.”

Arthur snorted. “I’m not sure about that.”

“He does.” Salem sent him a pitiful smile. “And so do you.”

“Not anymore.”

Salem startled a little. “Okay, first of all, that’s bullshit. Second of all, can I just point out that you just admitted that you looked up to your servant!”

Arthur shrugged and let his head hit the tree behind him. “He was my best friend, my closest confidante, my advisor. The people loved him, people who got hurt trusted him, the knights respected him, heck, even my father did to some degree. Sometimes I looked at him and thought that I wanted to be like him once I was king.” Arthur paused. “Well, most of the time he was an idiot but he was always there when I needed him. He was - I guess he still is - the bravest man I’ve ever met. Facing dragons with me, and witches and everything… It’s hard not to look up to a man like that.”

Salem tilted his head to the other side. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

Salem shrugged. “Nothing. Just that you look at him the way I look at Matt.”

Arthur sputtered as he turned to him. “I beg your pardon?”

Salem rolled his eyes. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. He looks at you the same way, you know?”

Arthur huffed out a laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s Merlin - he’s - a bumbling fool.”

“A bumbling fool who keeps saying the most devoted shit ever. And so do you.” Salem chuckled to himself. “You should forgive him.” He let the words linger for a moment. “For the lies. For the secrets. It seems like he’s been honest enough about the important bits.”

Arthur sighed. “You don’t understand. I’m not mad about the magic and the secrets. Not really. I try to be but I understand the reason behind it too well. I KNOW what happened to sorcerers in Camelot!” He took a deep breath. “It’s just - It’s who he is. It’s not that he HAS magic, he IS magic. The man I trusted for all these years - he’s just - gone. He’s someone else entirely. And I’m not sure I’m ready to see him yet. I’m grieving a man who never existed!” Arthur paused, once more confused. “And that’s kind of fucked up because it means I want him to pretend to being someone else, doesn’t it? I lived my life, with my beliefs circling around ways to get rid of people like him and here I am -” Arthur let his arms plop into the ground beside him, not sure how to phrase it.

“In love with magic itself.”

Arthur froze at those words before turning back to Salem. He couldn’t respond. He didn’t want to call it that. It didn’t feel right. It felt like he was dirtying the word love itself with his actions and behavior, yet it was the only word that even came close to what he felt. Desperately, Arthur sent him a pleading glance. “I’m a hypocrite!” He said because it wasn’t quite an objection but it also wasn’t a confirmation. “I’m not the King he thinks I am! I’m not -”

“Worth his love?” Salem questioned, somehow nailing it on the head and yet - not.

“You’re insufferable.” Arthur buried his face in his palm. “It’s -” How could he explain that? “You make it sound so simple. It’s so much deeper than that.”

Salem laughed a little. “Of course it is. It always is.” He sighed. “Never thought I’d see the day I give the King of Camelot advice on his love life. Strange where the world leads us, huh?” He sent Arthur another smile.

“It’s not -” Arthur grimaced. “Not really. It’s just - urgh.” He buried his face in his hands again, heart pounding like crazy.

“I know it’s difficult.” Salem directed a longing gaze towards his lover. “Even accepting it for what it is is hard sometimes. I’m not going to tell you that you should tell him. I feel like right now it’s far more important that you start to accept who he is right now. The man he was isn’t dead, you know? No one can lie for that long and not reveal giant truths about themselves.”

“But how can I trust him?” Arthur was really starting to wonder why he was talking about all this with a stranger in the first place. It was just - easier, somehow. It reminded him of a conversation he had with his father a long time ago. ‘How can you trust a man who’s lied to you?’

“You know, that’s the funny thing about trust. You may think it is, but trust isn’t about honesty. Trust is believing in someone, believing that they do the things they do for the right reasons and that they will make their decisions with you in mind.” Salem paused thoughtfully. “Kain- he was one of my mates Emrys killed, he always told me the truth. He once killed one of my druid family in cold blood. He told me. He didn’t regret it and he didn’t care how I felt about it. He thought it was funny how it made me mad. Matt was there while it happened, he was the one abducting me, after all.” Salem sighed deeply. “For a long time, he didn’t tell me that he had seen it. He felt guilty for keeping it from me but he still did. Kain later told me that Matt was there to let it happen, just to piss me off.”

“And you still think that Matt is worth your trust?” Arthur felt anxious just thinking about it. “He should have told you.”

But Salem shook his head. “I know him. Matt is hated by many people and there are times when I do hate him too. It doesn’t bother him because he’s not the type to change for the people around him. I could see that it tore him apart how much I hated Kain. He didn’t want me to hate him to feel better about himself, heck, he lied about it when I was still just their captive. He lied because I was in pain. And I’m sure he would have told me the truth if he thought it would help me move past it.” Salem chuckled. “Hate is a terrible burden. When I blamed Matt for the lie, he told me to punch him, to take it out on him so I could rest.” Salem’s eyes glistened. “That’s the difference. People make mistakes. You can’t trust that someone does the right things all the time, that’s a pathetic kind of trust. Some people lie because they believe it protects you and I think Emrys did exactly that.” He turned back to meet Arthur’s gaze. “The question is, how far are you willing to trust him? Does it only go to the point of honesty, or does it go beyond?”

Arthur let that sink in. “I used to trust him with my life.”

“And why does that have to change?”

Arthur stared at him, tried to come up with a smart answer but nothing came out.

Salem patted him on the shoulder. “You once made the decision to trust him. Now commit to it.” With that, he got up again, picked up one of the satchels with water and went back to bed.

Arthur remained where he had been, staring at his manservant and feeling all the more like a hypocrite. Eventually, he stood up and gave Merlin his own blanket while he himself moved closer to the fire, one arm always in reach of Merlin’s head.

“Arthur”

Arthur perked up, turning to Merlin to see him smiling in his sleep.

Chapter Text

“How long was I out? I feel like I've slept for ages!” Merlin yawned as he suddenly got up, hand in front of his mouth, then stretching to shake off sleep.

Arthur calmly glanced his way. “Couldn't have been more than four hours or so.”

“Four hours? Really?” Merlin thoughtfully turned to him, eyes blinking dazedly. “And nothing happened?”

Arthur blinked, half amused. “What could have been happening in four hours?”

Merlin turned to him, the blanket shifted around him. Merlin's eyes snapped to it, surprise evident. “Uh-” A red tint made it to his ears as he sat up, fully facing Arthur. “Did you give me your blanket?”

“Answer the question, Merlin.”

Merlin looked up again to meet Arthur's eyes. The fire was dancing in the blue of his irises, reflected on his cheekbones and in his hair. “You're calling me Merlin again.”

Arthur clenched his teeth. “Do you get disrupted in your sleep often?,” he urged him on by kicking against Merlin's arm.

Merlin twitched slightly and rubbed the spot. “Yes.” He didn't elaborate immediately, his eyes caught thoughtfully on the fire. “Something is always going on. And I don't really get many breaks between serving you, helping Gaius and finding some clues about an assassin.” He turned to a conflicted Arthur. “My magic helps me through it but yeah. Four hours is plenty. I thought we would have been attacked by now.”

Arthur gaped slightly. “We don't get attacked THAT often!”

Merlin shrugged. “No. But I usually stay up the longest to clean your dirty plates, get up the earliest to wake you, and in the middle of the night druids and prophets get the weird idea to annoy me.” Merlin grinned like it was funny. “When it’s NOT bandits attacking.”

Arthur buried his face in his hands. “Why are you like this?!” Adorable, protective, charming, devoted, forgiving.

Merlin averted his gaze, clearly to give Arthur room to breathe. “I try to do the right thing. Just like you.” His smile was a bit dopey, a bit childish and it had a naivety to it that Arthur hadn't seen on Merlin in years. He hadn't even noticed it had been gone until Merlin shoved it right in his face.

“Then you're an idiot,” Arthur said quite carelessly. Merlin's expression fell and he shuffled closer to the fire, hugging himself closely. “But a good man,” Arthur added quietly. Merlin looked up, and Arthur made a decision. “I've thought about it for a while - and I think I want to trust you.”

Merlin's eyes widened. “Wait, really? Me?” Like he couldn't believe it, couldn't fathom that anyone would ever wish to trust him. At least not after - it.

Arthur watched the expression unfold with a heavy heart. “I've trusted you before and never regretted it. I never asked about your secret, so I can't really accuse you of lying. I haven't even asked you for the whole story, so I don't know really if you truly betrayed me. But-” Arthur paused, his heart soring. “If I can't even trust my best friend, then what am I worth as King?”

Merlin's eyes widened very slowly. “I'm your best friend?”

Arthur full on snapped towards him. “Of course you are, who did you think it was?!”

“How would I know? Sir Leon?!?!”

He was speechless for just a second, the idiocy of it… Seriously? Arthur punched him in the arm, making Merlin sway to counter the weight of it. “You ARE an idiot! You're stubborn and oblivious and a full on - pumpous-” Arthur sputtered, fishing for insults, “turnip head.”
Merlin laughed. Really laughed, in a way he hadn't in years. His eyes twinkled with humor.
Arthur's heart melted. “I’m serious. How could you not know that?”

Merlin's laugh faded slightly. “I-,” he paused, thoughtfully. “Hiding who I am -,” he began, “I suppose it made me feel like I wasn't honest enough to consider myself your friend. Let alone best friend.”

Arthur deflated. “Well, I guess I didn't really show you how I felt either. I thought it was enough, with letting you write my speeches and letting you steal my food, and letting you advise me and stuff.” Arthur rubbed at his chin in thought. “I suppose that means you have a different best friend then. If you never considered me.” Who was it then? Gwaine? No, Lancelot, probably. The thought made Arthur strangely sad.

“Of course it's you.” Merlin turned to him aghast. “It's been you since I came to Camelot. I was the one not honest with you. I was a bad friend, but you're -” He paused, flushing slightly, embarrassedly deflecting. “We're not normally this emotional. Why are we emotional?”

Arthur huffed, both relieved and amazed. “But I wasn't there for you when you needed me.”

Merlin stared at him, expression unmoving, yet intense like he was whenever he told Arthur that he was a great king. “You've always been there. It's my fault for doubting you.”

Arthur stared back. It was an art, by now, the way they always stared at one another. Eyes intense with feelings that words could not convey. Arthur hesitated, then put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. “I'm sorry that I doubted you too.”

Merlin's eyes glinted again, the same way that - Arthur's breath hitched. Wait, was this what Salem had meant? This was exactly how Matt had looked at Salem earlier that day. Arthur's heart stumbled on its way to reach his brain. It was screaming at him, asking him to do something but Arthur was distracted by Merlin's eyes. How deep and dark they were, the reflected fire foreshadowing the power behind them.
“Would you show me? Your magic, I mean.”

Merlin's eyes widened and to Arthur's inner turmoil, the glint intensified. “I - gods, Arthur, you have no idea how long I've wanted you to ask me that.” He smiled so bright and breathlessly and so innocent that Arthur almost forgot himself. “I've been practicing, you know?! I was thinking, maybe I could make the Pendragon crest with fire? Or, I once made a unicorn with smoke but that was a stupid idea because it caused the whole thing with the witchfinder. But I've also made flowers with my Magic before so -”

Arthur's grip tightened on Merlin's shoulder. Merlin had been thinking about telling him? He'd been thinking about telling him! He'd been practicing! Shit. “How about you show me all of it?” Because Arthur wanted to know him, all of him. His heart was pounding at the mere thought that Merlin had always, ALWAYS wanted him to know.

Merlin's breath hitched and he stared at Arthur like - like THAT again. “Yeah.” That was a whisper. Why, god damn it, was he whispering?

Merlin swallowed hard, then sat up. He seemed nervous, which was odd, considering this wasn't the first time he'd used magic in front of Arthur. But Arthur supposed that it was a different thing to destroy with magic than it was to do - well - whatever followed next.

Merlin closed his eyes for a long moment and Arthur could feel something tingling underneath his fingers where they clutched at Merlin's shoulder. When Emrys opened his eyes they shone in fiery gold, bright like tiny suns. Before them, the embers in the fire gathered atop the flames, building what could only be a dragon. It looked realistic too and Arthur could see that Merlin had practiced this often. The dragon fluttered around the fire, then towards Arthur and around his head. Arthur twirled around to follow it in awe. Then another tingle erupted under Arthur's hand and blue flowers began to glow around the clearing. Flowers that had clearly not been there before blossoming in ethereal light. It was beautiful. It was so different from what Arthur had expected. Then Metlin blew into his hands and out came a swarm of butterflies and Merlin laughed at the sight of them as they fluttered around his head and tried to settle on his nose.

Something was playing in Merlin's eyes that was not the magic but caused by it, something that wasn't powerful even though it was. Something that was childish and relieved in a way. And most of all, it was so very Merlin that Arthur could not unsee it, could not understand how he had ever lived without it.

Arthur got the feeling that this was the very first time he saw Merlin for who he really was. Kind, strong, powerful, childish, a bit girlish sometimes and magical. Everything he had known and everything he hadn’t now sat before him, all at once. He was beautiful and ethereal and Arthur wanted nothing more than for that moment to hold on forever. Yet, he urged to break it by doing something irrational, something dangerous.
“It's -” Arthur was at a loss for words.

Merlin turned to him, the gold slowly fading, but the happiness never did. He tilted his head in question, the trust and hope so evident in his eyes that Arthur felt guilty for ever doubting him. Arthur's heart stuttered. Three little words entered his mind as the butterflies continued to swirl around them and in his stomach.

As the silence went on for too long, Merlin chuckled a nervous laugh before scratching his neck. “I know it's probably a bit girlish. It's very - pretty. It's what I think magic really is, you know? Creating life, and stuff.” He faced ahead to the fire as the magic around them slowly faded. The moment dissipated with them and Arthur felt like he'd just missed his chance to be honest as well. Merlin was shifting nervously, not daring to look at Arthur but clearly waiting for a reaction.

Arthur found his own heart pounding loudly against his ribcage. “You don’t have to stop, you know?”

Merlin’s eyes snapped to him the same moment something erupted in the fire. Merlin’s cheeks were red. “Are you sure?”

“Somehow I doubt that this is all you can do. You didn’t even show me the smoke unicorn.”

Merlin’s smile brightened with so much hope and devotion that Arthur very nearly, VERY nearly crossed a line. Merlin was breathing just a little harder than before. And - gods, he had tears in his eyes. “Yeah. Sure.” And then he continued. For the next couple of hours, Merlin did nothing but use magic, his eyes golden embers in the dark until the morning light painted the sky in pastel colors. And Arthur watched and listened to Merlin’s love of nature and magic, watched him be - for once - truly and unapologetically himself. It was the most beautiful Merlin had ever been.

“Can I ask you something?” Slowly, the others were starting to wake up, yet not lucid enough to really rise, but enough to give Arthur the feeling that they would have to leave soon.

“Anything,” Merlin asked as he played with some magical little lights above his hand. The word came out so careless that Arthur felt like any layer of distrust had been washed away with the magic.

“Once we find the gate - How do you suppose to open it? You left Ai- Alan - Sorry, what’s her name?”

“Aithusa.”

“Yes that. You left your daughter back with the knights. Don’t you need a white dragon to open it?”

Merlin’s magic faded as he considered. “Yes, but I don’t plan on opening it immediately. In my experience, stuff like that always demands a price. And I’m not sure whether or not I’m willing to pay it. Besides, the valley of the fallen kings is no place for a baby dragon. Let alone a hurt one.” Merlin closed his eyes sadly.

“I’m sorry.”

Merlin chuckled. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who abandoned her.”

“That’s not -” Arthur sighed. “So, we’re going there to find out HOW to open the gate?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re sure it’s there.”

Merlin smiled. “I mean, Kilgharrah said the ancient kings in the same breath as he mentioned the heart of magic. The crystal cave, the birthplace of magic, is right there, at the heart of the valley of the fallen kings. I wouldn’t know where else to look.”

Arthur blinked. “Hold on - the birthplace of magic? Is this - were you born in a cave?”

Merlin burst into laughter. “No?” He chuckled at the mere thought of it.

Arthur huffed. “Well, how would I know? All of this is new to me.”

“I know, I know.” Merlin was still chuckling. “It’s very cute of you to think that though.”

‘Cute’. Neither Arthur nor Merlin mentioned how red they both went after that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Merlin’s PoV

Merlin felt free. For the very first time in his life he got the feeling that he was fucking free and it was all just because of one silly request. Arthur had wanted to see his magic, had watched him use it all night. Merlin had never been more himself, never been happier and never seen Arthur with such a full heart as he had last night. They had never been closer, Merlin thought happily and his good mood didn’t leave him when they picked up their stuff and marched further into bandit infested territory.

Arthur kept right behind or beside him, depending on how narrow the path was. They didn’t talk all the time but here and there Arthur would send him a shy smile and Merlin would smile back, heart bursting at the seams. Finally, FINALLY! Finally on the same page, finally equal, finally where Merlin had always wanted to be!

A spike in magic caught Merlin off guard.

Immediately distracted, his attention shifted immediately into focus. He stretched out his arm, letting Arthur run into it. The King stopped behind him. “Merlin - what is it?”

“Shh.” Merlin looked around, reached out with his magic to feel what was going on.

“Is it magic?”

“Huh?” Merlin was so emerged in the moment that he’d shortly forgotten he didn’t need to blame it on instinct anymore. “Uh, yeah. This place feels unusually - loud.”

“It feels loud?” Arthur looked confused, no, irritated, no, both.

“I don’t know how else to say it, the magic is thicker than usual.” Merlin gave the rest of their little group a sign to stay behind as he moved further into the bushes. Behind them, he found the statues that marked the entrance of the valley. It was strangely foggy, almost as if the ground was covered in clouds up to the ankles of the statues. If they walked in there, they’d be blind and that was most likely intentional. Merlin could tell by the intense energy as well as the fact that the Valley was rarely this nebulous at this time of the year.

Arthur slowly crouched up to his side. “It’s just fog.”

“Not natural fog.” Merlin shook his head. “It’s too thick and it’s definitely -” Merlin stopped talking as he saw a figure moving on top of the clouds. With her on top of those white cushions, it looked almost like a lake. “Oh.” Merlin breathed out before he hurried to slide down the little hill he’d been standing on, right towards the beginning of the cloudy lake. Soggy mud left trails behind him, almost making him slip. Thankfully, with his magic so much closer in reach, Merlin wasn’t half as clumsy anymore.

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted after him. “You can’t warn me of magic and then just run off! Come back here, damn it!” The others followed reluctantly but Merlin was no longer wary. Arthur, however, was, as the creature closed in on them. “Merlin, what the heck is that!”

Soft paws touched the fog as the winged feline moved closer to them. Fangs exposed, and golden eyes gleaming at them even in the light of the sun. Merlin beamed as he saw her approach, snout lowering to touch Merlin’s outstretched hand.

“Merlin!” Arthur grabbed Merlin and pulled him backwards but Merlin quickly shook him off.

“Arthur, let me go, it’s okay. She won’t hurt us.”

“She won’t -” Arthur let his sword down reluctantly. “Don’t tell me this is another daughter of yours.”

Merlin chuckled and so did Freya as her body morphed from the bastet into that of the lady of the lake. “Not quite.” Merlin smiled greatly. “This is Freya.”

“Uh-huh. Cool, yeah. The cat is a woman, makes sense.” Arthur stood there flabbergasted as he took in her form. “She looks familiar.”

“That’s because we’ve met.” Freya smiled gently at Arthur who staggered backwards as she suddenly spoke. Then she turned to Merlin and took both his hands in hers. It’s been a while since he’d been able to see her in a physical form. “Merlin, you’ve felt it too, haven’t you? The time is ny that you will ascend to your throne. It was right of you to come here, for the ancient kings want to bring you a gift.”

Merlin shook his head. “How are you here? You should be at the lake of Avalon!”

Freya chuckled before resting a soft hand against his cheek. “Avalon is in another realm, Merlin. There are entrances in all parts of the world. The lake is but one of them. The Valley is another.” She suddenly stepped aside, although graceful as always. A man took shape behind her, something glistening in a bluish light in his hands as he approached.

Merlin gasped. “Taliesin!” The sorcerer from the crystal cave had not aged a day since he forced Merlin to see the most gruesome future he could have imagined.

Arthur tugged at Merlin’s sleeve. “Who is that guy?”

Merlin shrugged him off once more. It was not the time, even though he could tell that the others were just as curious as his king. Taliesin then opened his mouth to speak as he knelt on one knee before Merlin, holding out an item that Merlin had not quite expected. “Much like the Once and Future King, your time has been foreseen, Emrys. This crown was made of crystals from the crystal cave and forged in a dragon’s breath. It is one of a kind and made for the King of magic, for the day that he rises from the shadows.”

Merlin paused, mouth agape as he took the crown from his hands. It glinted in the morning light, the crystal carefully shaped into dragon heads that breathed fire into the centerpiece. It was beautiful, although - considering these were crystals from the blasted cave - terrifyingly so. “I - thank you, but - I meant to come here to find the dragon gate.”

Taliesin rose to his feet, a small smile gracing his lips. “The gate, my king, was never far. It lies at the center of your heart. The white dragon already showed you the way. Once you’ve opened it fully and revealed your final secret, the dragons will return.”

Merlin stared at them, then closed his mouth. Whatever the fuck that meant. Druids and their riddles, seriously. “So - why am I here? Why did I need to find the ancient kings?”

Taliesin’s eyes meaningfully moved to a very confused Arthur. “How could you not need them? But they were always right there, Emrys. The King of Kings, of Once and future, he who carries the wisdom of the fallen kings within him. And you. Emrys, the druid King. You are the remnants of the most ancient, you are the trails that are intertwined to create a new, a golden age.”

Merlin stilled, eyes straying back to the crown.
Oh.

He clutched the crown more tightly between his fingers. When he looked back up, Taliesin was gone and only Freya remained. As she stepped closer to Merlin, she took the crown from his hands and put it atop of his head. Then she put a small kiss to his hair. “I am so very proud of you, Merlin.” And then, she too, faded into the light and the fog lifted. For a moment, a very tiny moment, Merlin saw figures behind Freya, right at the front his father, beaming proudly as they bowed to him one last time and vanished, slowly unraveling the valley beneath them.

Merlin stood there for a moment, beyond confused. “That was - Strangely uneventful.”

“What the actual FUCK just happened?!” Arthur let out, voice completely aghast. “Were those GHOSTS!? I’m SURE I saw Balinor in that fog! That woman was a giant CAT! How on earth is that not eventful?!” He was pulling at his own hair, and then turned to Merlin, suddenly frozen. “Merlin - the crown …”

Merlin reached for the crown but at that point it was already too late. Magic erupted from the item, flowing all around Merlin and coloring his clothes into dark blues. A wide black cape seemed to grow out of nothingness, only adding to the brand new tunic, the perfectly crafted shoes and the silver druid symbol that glistened in the sunlight when he moved, as if made of silver threats. “Huh -” Merlin looked at each new item individually. “That’s handy -”

“How are you so calm?!” Arthur was breathing harshly as he finally dared to step closer, inspecting the clothes for himself. “These aren’t like - carnivorous, are they?”

“Arthur, it’s fabric.”

“It’s magical fabric! I just saw a woman turn into a giant cat, how am I supposed to know what this does?!”

Merlin chuckled at Arthur’s strange panic. “Her name is Freya. And you actually met her. She was the bastet in Camelot, years ago, remember?”

“I-” Arthur paused. “HUH?! But she’s -” Arthur’s hands kept clutching and pulling at the new fabric.

“Dead, yes.” Merlin snorted comically. “Can you stop fretting about my new clothes?” He shoved him off. “Taliesin should be about 300 years old too.”

Arthur stared at him with wide open eyes. “You just said that was uneventful. How is that uneventful?! What do EVENTFUL days look like to you?!”

Merlin shrugged with a tiny laugh. “Oh Arthur, you have no idea.” He chuckled again, turning and finding Salem and Matt suddenly bowing to him. Salem had pulled Matt by the sleeve to put them both on their knees. Only Sir Kay remained standing, clearly unsure what was happening, and to be fair, so was Merlin. And then Merlin noticed that they were not alone either. From all corners of the forest, people, likely druids, suddenly stepped forward, kneeling down one by one in what looked like a giant wave.

“Merlin -” Arthur began.

“Okay.” Merlin paled. “I admit, THAT’S eventful.” As he stepped forward to find the druids coming from where the fog had blocked his view before, he tried to find a familiar face.

Then, suddenly, such a voice spoke out to them. It was Iseldier, the leader of the druids. “The time is upon us! Emrys has risen to rule in our name! Finally, we will find our freedom!” And then he bowed deeper than anyone else beside him as cheering erupted all around them.

Merlin’s mouth opened, slightly agape at the sudden audience. “I -” He turned to Arthur who seemed as confused as he was. Awkwardly, even Sir Kay suddenly knelt down, muttering something along the lines of ‘no one is going to believe this’. Arthur remained standing. “I hate it when they do that.”

“Kneel before you?” Somehow, Arthur’s voice was higher than normal.

“No, I mean yes but that’s not the point. I hate when they make me responsible for everything.”

Arthur stared at him, eyes wide. He seemed confused and it truly was strange, considering everyone around them were suddenly, technically, Merlin’s people and not Arthur’s. Arthur took a deep breath and seemed to make a decision, before he suddenly lowered himself to one knee. Everyone else looked down but Arthur was a King, and therefore allowed to meet Merlin’s eyes. “Well then, Lord Emrys. What do you say?”

Merlin blinked dumbly at Arthur on his knee before him. Arthur Pendragon, KNEELING before him! This truly was one eventful day. Trusting Arthur’s choice, Merlin finally took a deep breath.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Arthur’s PoV:

Merlin couldn’t look away from Arthur and Arthur noticed it. Mostly because he felt precisely the same way. Merlin looked so different in the new clothes with a crown atop his head. Yet, it felt right. Not just because of what Arthur had learned about him, it was in his eyes, in his stance, in his very being that Arthur had known for so long now. Arthur felt like he was meeting an equal, another King and to pay him his respects felt strangely natural. Almost as if Arthur had been waiting for this moment as long as everyone else had.

Suddenly, Merlin straightened up and looked around, down towards the valley, as he spoke up. “Druids, my people-,” he began rather nervously but his voice rang firm above the clearing. “This is the beginning of a new era. An era of peace between Camelot and magic.” With every word his voice turned stronger and louder, all the while Arthur felt his heart racing along with it as he was curious to hear a speech from Merlin himself. “For many years we have worked together to secure this alliance with the Once and Future King, many of you have dreamed of it, many of your ancestors would have given their lives to see it happen. And all of you have worked for this dream, the moment that magic may be free once more. That moment is now, here, and closer to grasp than ever before.” Merlin turned to Arthur. “Please rise, King Arthur, Once and Future King, legendary King of Albion and harbinger of the golden age.” Merlin reached out his hand and Arthur took it with bated breath. As he rose, he could see people looking up to him in awe. “The years of tyranny are finally over.”

Arthur heard the cheering before he saw it and it rang loudly in his ears. Instead, his eyes were fixated on the blue irises before him. These really were Merlin’s people. Magic users, from young to old, druids, farmers and servants who hid their faces behind masks. Even some animals had arrived and Arthur could see the afterimage of Anhora the unicorn keeper flashing in and out of the background. They were all kinds of people, gathered here from anywhere within the lands. All of them people who had been hiding within the other kingdoms, some for generations.

As they cheered, Arthur’s eyes fell on Merlin who in turn looked at Arthur, like he believed Arthur made all of this happen. Merlin probably didn’t notice how ethereal he looked, how ashen and small Arthur felt in comparison. Merlin seemed to be seeing stars in Arthur’s eyes, unaware that they were just reflections of Merlin’s own. Arthur could feel it then, the tingling as the earth shook from all the magic gathering in one place. Moss grew over the statues, and flowers bloomed, almost as if they were attracted to Merlin’s smile, living off of it like Arthur had lived off of it for years. What a privilege that had been…

Arthur nearly hit himself, he was waxing poetry about Merlin again.

. . .

“Seriously though, who WERE these people?” Their way back to Camelot seemed rather quiet, all things considered. After the cheering, many magic users had randomly disappeared, not even hanging around for a feast or anything. Merlin had spoken to some people, but that was merely smalltalk and Arthur couldn’t exactly claim that he had been listening much.

“Sorry, I know that was a lot.” Merlin had a lot more problems moving through the forest since his clothes had randomly been changed and even putting off the crown and cape didn’t make it much easier. Everywhere he went, he got stuck in a bush. “Taliesin is a man from legend. I met him once, shortly before the dragon attacked. He led me to the crystal cave, showed me the future and then healed your wound. Oh yeah - remember that deep shoulder wound that suddenly disappeared?”

Arthur frowned. “I thought you were exaggerating it. He healed me? What did he show you?”

“The dragon attacking.” Merlin cursed, as he got stuck in another bush, AGAIN.

Arthur swirled around. “WHAT?! You KNEW he would attack and you still let him free?!”

Merlin grimaced. “Yes. As I said before, in exchange for knowledge on how to save Camelot. I had to promise to let him free. Trust me, I wouldn’t have done it, had I had a better alternative.”

Arthur sighed and covered his face. “And that woman? What was her name? Freya?”

“The lady of the lake, yeah. She’s my girlfriend. Eh - I mean, ex girlfriend, to be more precise. It’s a bit complicated since you killed her. I mean -” Merlin ran into Arthur’s back who had stopped in complete and utter shock.

“Hold on, WHAT?” Arthur felt himself blanch. Ex-girlfriend? Merlin had a GIRLFRIEND before? And what did he mean, Arthur KILLED her? “HUH?!” He hoped that was enough to convey his confusion.

Merlin rubbed his arm where he had bumped into Arthur. “That was forever ago. A couple weeks after I came to Camelot. You saw her cat form, she was a bastet. She was cursed to kill people at night, and so you had to gather your knights to defeat her. It’s not important anymore -”

“NOT important?” Arthur felt so terribly weak. “You LOVED her.”

Merlin stilled, then closed his eyes. “I used to.”

Arthur didn’t know what to feel. “Used to. And I -” He paused, running a hand over his face. “Alright, I’ll just - have to process that for a bit. What did this Taliesin guy mean about your final secret? Is there something else you’re hiding from me?” Honestly, after learning what Arthur had apparently done to Merlin, he couldn’t even blame Merlin for keeping yet another secret from him.

When Arthur looked at Merlin this time, the man did not look shocked but completely embarrassed. His face was heated and he seemed to be clearing his throat awkwardly. “Ah, that - I do wonder what that was about.”

“Merlin?”

“Shouldn’t we go back to Camelot? I think I heard Salem calling.” Quicker than normal, Merlin hurried past him and towards Sir Kay. Merlin looked almost normal again without his crown, if there hadn’t been the tunic. Arthur hadn’t been able to see it before, but without the cape, he could see the dragon symbol on the back very clearly. It seemed strangely mocking, somehow.

Arthur remained behind, feeling all the more like a lost puppy.

. . .

Perhaps it was the tiredness after spending more than 48 hours without sleep but Arthur was beginning to feel dizzy and weak. Even eating felt strangely taxing and the fires were too bright. They would spend one more night at camp and tomorrow, they would be back in Camelot. Arthur wanted to keep watch again but Merlin finally stopped him.

“Arthur, please. It was a long day. An idiot can see that you’re about to fall over.”

Arthur grimaced. “I can’t afford to rest!”

Merlin put a cold hand against Arthur’s forehead while Sir Kay and the other two men seemed to be silently taking care of the camp. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Merlin even checked Arthur’s racing pulse. “I understand that you would prefer to stay awake but -”

“Lord Emrys.” Arthur said, effectively shutting Merlin up. Merlin grimaced. “Lord Merlin. LORD! All these years you were my servant and now you’re suddenly a LORD! Do you know what my father told me about Lords? He told me not to fall asleep around them! Not to show weakness! And you’ve been my SERVANT, ALL THIS TIME!”

Merlin chuckled. “And it is my greatest honor.” Something sad crept up Merlin’s face and Arthur found himself urging to wipe it off.

Did you know that sleep deprivation has a similar effect on the human brain as alcohol does? It would at least explain why he found himself lying half on Merlin’s lap, with the fire once again shining so brightly against his eyes, like Arthur was completely drunk and had lost it. Hey, wait a second, since when was Arthur in Merlin’s arms?

Merlin chuckled again. “You were sleepwalking earlier.” Merlin said.

Holy shit, had Arthur said that out loud? “I’m just tired.”

Merlin smiled at him, and Arthur found himself captivated again by that fire in his eyes. During the day, Merlin’s eyes shimmered a dark dangerous blue, at night they were completely black, almost demonic. It had something eerie, if not beautiful. Then again, Merlin had always been beautiful.

“Eh… okay?” Merlin chuckled nervously but it was the last thing Arthur saw right before he fell asleep. Then and there he decided that resting with his head on Merlin’s lap and Merlin’s hand buried in his hair, was the most peaceful he’d ever felt.

. . .

Their entire way home, Merlin remained unnaturally quiet. He seemed nervous, somehow and even though Arthur wanted to ask him so many questions about the whole Druid King situation, he kept his mouth shut. Once they reached the treeline that gave them the perfect view of Camelot in all its glory, Salem suddenly pulled Arthur by the arm.

Arthur turned to him in confusion.

Salem took a deep breath. “We’re eh - we’re really sorry, but Matt and I should be going now.”

Arthur blinked. “What? Why?”

“This is Camelot.” Salem seemed to be bracing himself for something. “I have magic and Matt is my accomplice. We’re both bandits. We can’t exactly - come with you.”

Arthur should not have been surprised, but he found that he kind of was. “But you do know that I am going to make a treaty with magic, right? I would welcome you as my personal guests, I’m sure it would be fine.”

Salem shook his head. “As nice as that sounds, your word stands against that of years of prejudices within your kingdom. Maybe in a year or two, after we have a better picture of what kind of kingdom you’ll build - maybe then we’ll come back. The fact remains that we’re criminals right now. And yeah - Camelot isn’t exactly the safest place for us to go.”

Arthur raised his brow. “But isn’t Emrys your king? His name should be protecting you if you come as part of his delegation.”

Salem sighed this time, clearly exasperated. “King Arthur, please don’t get me wrong. But we haven’t survived as long as we have because we believe in ideals or principle. We stay out of trouble if we can.”

Arthur paused, taking those words in. “I understand… But I would like you to stay anyway.”

That caught Salem off guard. “Why?”

“I chose you to come with us to the valley of fallen kings because I valued your insight as an impartial party in this - situation with my manservant. And on the trip, I found you to be a good and trustworthy source for advice. What I need - what Camelot needs right now, is to learn. We need education and I believe that someone who grew up among druids can do that. As someone who has lived as a bandit to survive, you can show us where the laws fail. You would be a good bridge between us and the persecuted.” Arthur took a deep breath. “I understand that you want to feel safe, but that is precisely why I want you in my court. You could make sure that you and people like you are safe. Isn’t that better than letting someone else do it?”

Salem’s mouth opened slightly, then it clapped shut. As he opened it again, he sounded conflicted. “Wait - you want me IN your court? I thought - didn’t you want me to be part of Merlin’s delegation?”

Arthur nodded. “Both. If I want to make peace between Camelot and magic, and magic users have all been considered criminals, then I will always be inviting criminals into my kingdom. I would prefer if those criminals had a good heart.” Arthur sent him a smile. “Don’t you want to be part of the change? Of course, in the end, it will be your choice.”

Salem went quiet at that, thinking deeply. Then something even more conflicted washed over his face and he glanced Arthur over once more before he apparently made his decision. “Matt will hate me.”

“He’ll thank you when he gets to feast at my table.” Arthur grinned at him.

“Oh well, whatever, fuck it.” Salem ran a hand through his hair, inhaling deeply. “You know, when I was still at the druid camp, my peers kept telling me nothing would ever come of me. That I wasn’t worth anything. When I was abducted, I was too cheap a product to sell me to Cendred, then I was a good for nothing bandit and had the lowest ranks even among THEM.” He chuckled. “And now the Once and Future King has invited me to his court.” His chuckle turned into a disbelieving laugh. “The guys I grew up with would kill to get this chance. How could I reject that offer?” He beamed at Arthur. “Consider yourself a deal, your majesty.” He reached out his hand and Arthur, in the manner of the knights, clasped their forearms together in signature of a deal.

“Welcome to Camelot.”

. . .

They arrived at the castle gates in the late afternoon. Everything looked precisely as they had left it, yet everything was different.

Arthur looked at the high castle walls, let his eyes travel from the lowest brick to the highest tower, saw people flooding in and out of the castle gates and had to realize that he wasn’t coming home. Arthur Pendragon came back to the ruins his father left behind. A kingdom with a history of bloodshed so intense, it was ironically reflected in the setting sun that painted her walls red.

For a sweet moment, their little group remained at the top of the hill, carrying the weight of the changes that awaited Camelot. Arthur turned his head to find Merlin standing beside him, bracing himself while a soft wind tousled his hair in all directions. It were not the clothes that made him look like a king, Arthur thought, it was that iron will, the gaze in his eyes and the soft waves of power Arthur imagined around him. The magic was so easy to see now, Arthur wondered how he had ever missed it. “Are you ready?”

Merlin smiled before he turned to Arthur. “Ready when you are.” Then they marched.

Everywhere they passed through, people were stopping, turning their heads as they noticed their King’s return. Some bowed to him, others moved out of their way. Some reluctant glances traveled up Merlin’s and the bandits’ appearance as Arthur led them all through the courtyard.

One of the younger teens from the lower town recognised Merlin and began to laugh. Arthur knew the kid, as Arthur was not as distant to his people as his father had been. The boy pointed at Merlin: “Hey Merlin, what the hell are you wearing? Did you steal some of Arthur’s clothes?” An older woman tried to shush him but Arthur didn’t want the boy to become one of those bootlickers that already ranked way too high in his court, so he laughed at the joke. The old woman was the only one shushing the boy, a few older kids and even some adults were laughing with them, even as they bowed and waved at the return of their King.

Arthur was about to answer, while Merlin was suddenly sputtering nonsensical excuses, when Lord Agravaine approached.

As soon as he and a few knights reached Arthur, he bowed, along with the knights. “Your highness! We weren’t expecting your return so suddenly! But now that you’re here, we must call in the council as soon as possible. Things are happening that -”

Arthur raised a hand, shutting Agravaine up instantly. “I’m aware. King Sarrum is likely preparing for war against us.”

“You are aware?” Agravaine looked around, suddenly reluctant. “Should we be talking about this in public?”

“I am not just aware, I am responsible. The people will find out sooner rather than later and I don’t intend to leave them in the dark.” Arthur spoke up loudly, causing the audience around them to densen and Agravaine to shrink back a little. Merlin sent intense glares his way, likely telling him that he was wrong or something, which was naturally bullshit.

“Then - I see.” Agravaine said darkly and something conflicted washed over his face. “I will inform the court. Boy -” He turned to Merlin, head held high as he gave him one of his more menacing glances. “Go and inform the servants to prepare the council room, tell them -”

Merlin perked up at the order, listening intensely but Arthur held out an arm to keep Merlin where he was. “He will do no such thing, Lord Agravaine. I want you, dear uncle, to inform the servants yourself. And make sure they will prepare guest rooms.”

Agravaine paused, suddenly noticing Salem and Matt, both still in their bandit clothes that looked worn and old, likely stolen goods too. He turned back to Arthur. “Sire? Are you serious? There ruffians-”

“And -” Arthur said. “I need you to treat our guests as royals. We are housing the King of the Druids after all.”

Agravaine paused. “Hold on - I don’t follow. The King of the Druids?” Murmurs raised among the people, growing louder and more concerned the longer the pause held on. “We - rumors reached us this morning that there was a magic king appearing in the Valley of fallen kings but I was about to talk about this in the council. How have you heard of Emrys? What do you mean - are they -?” He looked Salem up and down, clearly mistrusting him. Salem gritted his teeth and Arthur could feel Matt’s intense glare beside him.

Arthur took a deep breath before he turned back to his people. “Citizens of Camelot, I have an announcement.” The crowd silenced. “For years I have been left unaware of the true nature of magic. I have been led to believe that it was an unexplainable, corrupting force that befell those who were too weak to resist it. On my trip to Amata, I have learned that the opposite is true.”

“Arthur -” Merlin began, receiving a shush from Agravaine.

“Remember your place, boy!” Agravaine said, which effectively shut Merlin up. The worry within his audience grew more intense and nervous in the meantime.

Arthur inhaled deeply. “Magic is a force but I have come to believe that it is not evil. In fact, magic is a kingdom with a King who was crowned just yesterday by the druids and spirits of the lake of Avalon. I was there to witness it.”

“Your highness!” Agravaine whispered, clearly shocked.

“As such!” Arthur spoke louder now. “Magic is something, someONE, we can reason with. And so, I have invited King Emrys to Camelot, in hopes that we can form an alliance and achieve peace, to end the war we have fought against his people. In that, I have angered the King of Amata to the point he is now preparing for war.” Arthur closed his eyes as the following silence weighed even heavier than the earlier murmurs. “It was a calculated risk, as my choice was between Emrys and King Sarrum. It was to either right my father’s failings or argue with a man who tortured Emrys’ daughter, the dragon Aithusa.”

“Sire!” This time, Agravaine had lost it. “You cannot be serious. A dragon? His daughter is a dragon? And you’re willing to trust in that man? You don’t even know -”

“Hold your tongue, Lord Agravaine and remember your place.” Arthur turned to him, feeling somewhat satisfied to have thrown his words against Merlin back at Agravaine. Agravaine instantly retracted.

“I beg your forgiveness, your highness.” He bowed once more. “I meant no disrespect.” He looked up. “Then we shall prepare the guest chambers for the royal guests this instant. Boy -” His voice was harsh as he addressed Merlin once more.

Arthur stopped him again. “Did you not listen? He will do no such thing. And from now on, you must address him with his title, is that clear?!”

“Title, Sire?”

Merlin glared at Arthur. “Seriously?”

Arthur would lie if he said this didn’t amuse him a little. “Yes, seriously, Lord Emrys.” Arthur bowed to him.

The silence that followed was not as serious as it should have been. The kid from before suddenly sputtered, then laughed. A few others chimed in. Incredulous disbelief spread over the heads of the people and Arthur could see people shaking their heads.

Agravaine looked downright pissed. “Are you mocking me, Sire?”

Arthur stared at him. Then he reached into Merlin’s pocket, who kept protesting and fighting him off, but eventually, Arthur held out the crystal crown and put them on Merlin’s head. The instant the crown touched his head, it glowed golden in the sunlight, once again, transforming his attire into that of the King he was. The laughter died instantly. This time, his clothes colored a bloody red, the Pendragon red. The threats at the seams glowed golden and Arthur was pretty damn sure that the magic kept track of who’s kingdom they were in. The druids had always been blue, Camelot was red. And the golden dragon on Merlin’s cape moved around as if it was alive.

“I think I haven’t been clear enough.” Arthur said louder. “So let me introduce him to you once more. This man here beside me is our royal guest, Emrys, the last Dragonlord and King of the druids.”

Agravaine’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “You’re joking. That’s MERLIN, your MANSERVANT.”

“Magic is everywhere, Lord Agravaine. Believe it or not, it’s him. And it’s always been him.” Arthur leaned over to hit the information home. “Now go and make sure to give him and his delegation proper rooms already!”

Finally, Agravaine disappeared in the castle, although his bowing to Merlin was a bit more reluctant than appropriate. Arthur forced himself not to grin. As amusing as this was, they were preparing for war.

Chapter Text

Merlin PoV:

Even on their way inside, Merlin felt uncomfortable. Everyone was staring at him, whispering about him. Here and there he could even hear people questioning whether he was a traitor or if he had enchanted Arthur or if Merlin was possessed by a magical spirit. Some people seemed to be watching Arthur with concern as well, while they seemed to be grieving something. There were so many thoughts and feelings involved that even Merlin’s natural instincts couldn’t all dissect. So, instead, he hid himself behind his hand as they made it inside. He would have taken off the crown but Arthur glared at him every time he reached for it.

“Arthur - You really shouldn’t have done that.”

“Done what?”

“Agravaine.”

There was a pause as they headed inside and into the corridor where even the servants backed away to whisper behind their hands. “I’ve always kind of wanted to do that,” Arthur admitted sheepishly.

“What?” Now Merlin really was confused. “You wanted to tell Agravaine to -”

“Pay you some more respect. Yes.” Arthur walked on as if that was nothing. As if he didn’t register what he was implying and because Arthur was an idiot, Merlin felt the need to help him with that thought.

“So, you’re telling me, you’ve always wanted to tell Agravaine to treat me-” Merlin hesitated to continue, which seemed to amuse Arthur.

“-yes, go on-” Arthur urged him on with a growing, innocent, self assured grin, letting Merlin finish the sentence himself.

“- like a King,” Merlin complied, finally managing to stop Arthur.

For a moment, Arthur stared ahead, as if gears were turning in his head and then, suddenly, his ears beamed red. He turned to Merlin and sputtered. “That’s - It’s not - It’s nothing like that! That would be implying - NO!” Arthur took a deep breath.

“You were quite eager to put that crown on me,” Merlin pointed out nervously.

Arthur blanched, then flushed, then blushed to the roots of his hairline. “It’s nothing personal! I do sometimes imagine how other people would lead a kingdom and I just happened to imagine you in that position as well - once or twice.” He cleared his throat. “And besides, this was my best bet on proving to the people that you’re the king I claim you to be, which, as you should remember, justifies my dispute with Sarrum.”

Merlin’s heart sank a little. “Right. Of course.”

Arthur seemed to notice Merlin's inner struggles immediately because suddenly they were stopping in the middle of the hallway. “Merlin.” His voice was softer than before, if also a bit condescending but that was the tone Arthur carried when he cared.

“Arthur.”

“This is a good thing. A good change. I trust you and I'm asking you to trust me as well. Can you do that?” He clasped a hand to Merlin’s shoulder, seemingly a little uncertain but trying to be open.

Merlin blinked dumbly at him. It was a rather stupid question. “I trust you with my life.”

“I know Merlin! that's not-” Arthur bridged his nose. “Would you trust me with your people? With your kingdom and your magic? Can you trust that I trust you with being their king?”

Merlin straightened up, not sure what Arthur was going on about. “Always.” It gave him a strange feeling that something bad was about to happen but in a way it felt when you found a child playing with a knife.

Arthur's gaze was intense as he grabbed Merlin's shoulder tight. Something in that gaze seemed to be missing the mark however because Arthur's glance stumbled over Merlin's face, his cheeks and lips, even as they quickly snapped back to Merlin's eyes. “Good.”
Finally, the Once and Future King turned around, dragging Merlin after him by the sleeve.

Merlin let him. If only because he didn't know what else to do with himself.

. . .

It was strange to finally have a seat at the round table. What’s more, Merlin stood to Arthur’s right, right between him and Lord Agravaine. King’s of other kingdoms would usually take a seat at the opposite end of the round table. Salem and Matt stood somewhere behind him, simply listening. Agravaine kept sending glances at Merlin in his expensive new robes, radiating disapproval, confusion and concern as he gave his report.

“My Lord, reports have informed us that King Sarrum’s troops are getting closer to the Western border. We have maybe two to three days until they arrive, there seem to be two dragons rather close to them and some of your best knights have gone missing. They could not be found. They might be fending them off, or have run from them, we do not know. At the very least, we should not be expecting them to return in time. What exactly is the plan now, my lord?,” Agravaine began the meeting. Multiple knights, minus the ones that Arthur and Merlin had to leave behind with Aithusa, were standing around the table, trying to not show how irritating the situation was to them as well.

“The plan is to gain an alliance with the Kingdom of magic. With Emrys help, we can defeat Sarrum -”

“Excuse me.” Agravaine blinked at him, irritation making him twitch. “This is all rather fast for me. HOW could a single man help us defeat Sarrum? Or defeat those dragons?”

Arthur stared back at Agravaine, just long enough to make the man shrink into himself a bit. Arthur shook his head. “You are not entirely wrong, uncle, and I understand that it seems impossible, but there is a promise I swore to fulfill that may give us the upper hand.” Arthur turned to Merlin. “You need to open the dragon gate.”

Merlin’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

The bomb had the expected effect. Immediate silence washed over the room, stirring fear and shocked expressions.

Agravaine paled. “Excuse me, what?!”

Arthur raised a hand to shush his uncle as he continued talking to Mer- Emrys. “I gave you my word that I would help you bring them back. The sooner you can do it, the better. We still have no word of Sir Leon and the others and I would hope for them to return to Camelot before they run into Sarrum’s men all on their own but that is not a guarantee. Not with the state Aithusa was in.”

Agravaine cleared his throat once more. “I beg your pardon, my lord, but we have not yet received word of where your knights are. The fact that there are two dragons on the loose has troubled the search and we may have to expect that they’ve had an encounter with them -”

Arthur sighed and covered his face, clearly annoyed from the repeated interruption. Again, Agravaine stopped talking. “Sir Agravaine, would it kill you to let me finish my thoughts? We have left the dragons in the care of my knights. If I were concerned about their safety, I would have made this a higher priority.” He turned back to Merlin, causing the man to swallow. “So?”

Merlin grimaced. “You know that I have no idea how to open the gate.”

“You do.” Arthur’s expression left no room for arguments. “Taliesin said that the dragon gate will open once your final secret is lifted. This is your chance to come clean, whatever it is, I doubt it can still surprise me.”

Merlin opened his mouth, then closed it, heart racing impossibly. “Arthur -”

Arthur held eye contact for a couple moments before he seemed to be seeing something in Merlin’s expression. “You know what it is.” It was not a question.

He read him too well. Of course Merlin knew what it was. “I’m not ready to tell you.” No more lies, Merlin had told himself, continued to tell himself, but he couldn’t tell Arthur this one. Not here, not now, not yet. It was his final secret. Sarrum had already taken two of his secrets from him, forcing him to spill them against his will. Merlin at least wanted this one to be safe, to be able to choose when to tell it.

Arthur blinked. “Merlin, the lives of my knights and Camelot are at stake. You HAVE to tell us! We may not have the time.”

Merlin grimaced further. “I can’t.”

“I thought you trusted me.” The accusation hurt and suddenly Merlin knew why Arthur had pulled him aside just before the meeting had begun.

Merlin took a deep breath. “This isn’t about trust, Arthur. I’m not ready to tell you. Give me time.” Silence waged a war against the tension in the room, as Arthur and Merlin kept trying to communicate through glances alone.

“We may not have that time, Merlin.” Arthur was pressing, gently, but decidedly.

“Then give me time until it’s inevitable.” Merlin swallowed down his nerves. Then he opened his eyes to earnestly meet his king’s gaze. “I will tell you but I will need time to - prepare. Please.”

For a moment, Arthur seemed to lose his composure, completely lost in the moment for reasons Merlin couldn’t quite fathom, then he cleared his throat and turned back to the council. “Well, nothing to be done about that. Let’s talk about what happened before we came here. Before we make any further decisions, you need to know what occurred between King Sarrum, Emrys and I, and why I thought it wise to trust Emrys.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Arthur’s PoV

Arthur was doomed. Retelling the story of Merlin’s non betrayal made him relive one of the most difficult moments in his life and they made him realize one thing. He kept getting distracted. Had been getting distracted all day, really.

Arthur had thought it wise to put Merlin beside him at the round table because that way, he could show people that Merlin was quite literally on his side. It backfired. It backfired because Arthur couldn’t stop looking over for reassurance, couldn’t help glancing at Merlin’s blue eyes, then his lips and when he tried to avert his gaze, Merlin’s hand that was so close in reach. Arthur was sweating during his report and he felt like he may have been overdoing the whole ‘Merlin is good’ part of his speech. Especially, because it was hard to grasp for the audience how Arthur went from learning that Merlin was a dragonlord, a sorcerer, a powerful at that, one with a dragon and one who manipulated Arthur’s most trusted knights, to him killing random bandits and then be crowned King by a Bastet in one of the most crime infested parts of the forest, and that without mentioning his craving need to be able to trust Merlin blindly. Talking felt like a dizzy haze and Arthur could hardly remember what he’d said exactly as he’d finished. Only Merlin’s relieved sigh let him know he hadn’t totally messed up.

And then, after a rather heated dinner, a servant approached to show Merlin and his delegation his rooms. Then, finally, the other shoe dropped.

Merlin chuckled nervously as the servant waited on him expectantly. “I do know where to go.”

“It is my job to bring you to your rooms, your majesty.” He looked a little nervous, if not terrified. If Arthur remembered correctly, this servant’s name was Morris. Arthur should know that. The boy used to be manservant to the prince of Camelot. Arthur still felt a little guilty for how he had treated him at the time. He hadn’t been the man he was now. “Your majesty.” The man bowed not before Arthur but before Merlin because that’s where he was assigned to be.

Arthur gaped slightly, feeling caught off guard. Merlin was his servant, was he not? Who would bring him to HIS room? Who would chatter with him tonight before he went off to sleep?

“Yes, of course.” Merlin nodded before he turned around to Arthur. “Thank you, by the way. For - everything.” He bowed to him, oddly enough, before he turned around, his red cape fluttering in the wind and his crown glowing slightly as if to light him the way. Morris seemed rather pleased, now that Arthur thought about it. And why wouldn’t he? Merlin HAD saved him from Arthur’s unjustified onslaught before.

So deep in thought, Arthur even missed Matt rolling his eyes at them and Salem pulling him along to make it down to the guest wing.

“Good night,” Arthur said dumbly as they were already out of earshot. How had Arthur missed this? All these years he had known Merlin, he had known there was a part missing. They had always been sort of distant in a way, the way that friends often were, friends that could never ever be fully honest with each other because of status and propriety. And even though Arthur had known that, he had fooled himself to believe that since Merlin didn’t care about either of those things, they would be fine the way they had been, even with that crown on Merlin’s head.
Now, Arthur saw Merlin for who he really was and it was dazzling and overwhelming. Arthur had trusted Merlin so they could remain friends, despite whatever other feelings may or may not be involved (curse Salem for suggesting it). Arthur had not counted on the distance that would follow once they were no longer King and servant but two Kings, separated by whole nations. For the first time since Arthur had known him, he could see Merlin clearly and now he felt further away than ever. It was as if every step between them was somehow ten times the distance. Every inch an inch too far apart.

Arthur gasped as he felt his heartbeat increase. He was missing Merlin. Not just the old Merlin, not just the bumbling fool, but the closeness. Magic or no magic, Arthur’s status had never bothered Merlin,yet now Merlin’s status bothered the entire Kingdom. Arthur was still not entirely sure he was doing the right thing, and now, without Merlin, he felt more helpless and lost than ever before.

“Your highness?” The voice of the servant George distracted Arthur from his wandering thoughts. “Do you wish to return to your chambers for the night?” He must have naturally stepped up, now that Merlin was - had outranked himself. With his new beautiful robes and that crown, he did look the part. It was maddening.

“I wish I could return to the camp where I was with the man rather than the thoughts he occupies.”

“Sire?”

Shit, had he said that out loud? Arthur blinked awake. “I wish to return for the night, thank you.”

“Of course, Sire.” George was, thankfully, not prone to gossip.

However, he seemed at ease. More at ease than usual, really. Almost relieved. A fact so subtle that it did kind of surprise Arthur. Perhaps all his focus on differences within Merlin made him more aware of changes altogether. So, Arthur turned to the most efficient and boring servant he had ever known and for once - wondered. “Are you not afraid of him?” The other knights had been, and so had the council members.

“Of Merlin, Sire?” George shook his head the way he would in a formal questioning as they began to walk to Arthur’s chamber. For the first time, George seemed to hesitate although he kept his mannerisms as professional as ever. Which was twice as much as necessary. “In truth, my lord, the magic does not deter me.”

“It doesn’t?” That did surprise Arthur.

Finally, they made it to Arthur’s giant, empty room. It used to look cozier, even though the fire was burning and the dark woods glowed a reddish warmth into the room. It seemed dark and lonely. The image of Merlin playing around with his magic came to mind and Arthur wondered if Merlin would show him more of it if he asked. Fill this room with magic, and answers and - Arthur sighed, disappointed not to find Merlin waiting on him, despite the fact that he hadn’t been expecting him here in the first place.

George nodded before he went to the bed to prepare it for Arthur’s nightly ritual. When he was done with removing the coal pan that warmed the bed, George turned to Arthur and bowed deeply, remaining in an absurd gesture of absolute obedience. “May I speak out of turn, Sire?”

“I - yes?” The odd behavior was more relieving than a concern, in Arthur’s personal opinion. Although coming from George of all people, it ought to distress him more.

George looked up with determination. “As to what has been discussed today, I have something to confess.” He had been listening, Arthur noticed. Then again, he hadn’t sent anyone out during the council meeting because he had wanted the people to see for themselves that the whole magic king thing was not a fabricated tale.

Arthur raised his chin and crossed his arms, not to be intimidating but because he felt a bit strange just standing there like that. “You do?”

George remained in his position. “Merlin is not the only person in this castle who has hidden magic. And he is not the first to use it for your sake.”

Arthur gaped. The shock unfolded his arms at once. “You mean, you’re -?”

“Not me, no.” George shook his head. “Just a friend of mine. In the past, I have known some of whom have been caught and beheaded. Some of which have saved my father’s life, one of which cost my brother’s head.” Arthur felt speechless as George lowered his head a little further before he continued. He was nervous, Arthur noticed in utter shock. “Merlin’s honesty with you made me realize that it may have been a mistake to keep it hidden for so long. From you, Sire, as you have shown yourself more open to the idea - I will not tell you their name but I trust in the kingdom you will build and I want to be the first to come clean. I take pride in my position but I have never felt comfortable with the lies. It feels like a stain on my record that I could never cleanse. If you are willing to ally with magic, please accept my apology for the treason.”

Arthur felt speechless. “I - of course.” His arms went limp. There were others? INSIDE the castle? “Are they - hostile?”

George straightened up, relief falling off his face. “Never, Sire. I would not have kept their secret where it otherwise.”

“Are you sure- about them?”

George nodded again. “Their oath is to Camelot and Camelot alone. No matter how many centuries may have passed, they have always remained in her shadows.”

Arthur nodded and found himself shocked to the core. “Centuries.” Arthur took a deep breath. He didn’t think he wanted that elaborated. “Thank you, George. I will make sure they remain safe here in Camelot and no harm will come to you or your family ever again. You have my word.” Arthur was shaking, actually. What on earth -?

George beamed with pride. “Thank you so much, your majesty!” He bowed once more, deeper than ever before. Which was saying something.

“You are dismissed.”

Quickly, George gathered his things, moving far less burdened and stiff than ever. Arthur was ultimately reminded of his conversation with Salem about trust. Trust wasn’t always about being honest, about being open with secrets and whoever this person was, they had sworn loyalty to Camelot. If Arthur had not ever found this person in a position of doubt or betrayal, then hadn’t they proven their trustworthiness to the crown? And why couldn’t he shake the feeling that this person was a knight?

“Sire, one last thing.” George halted in the door, a kind smile edged on his round face as he gave Arthur’s heart a final reassurance. “About Merlin - you will see him again tomorrow, I’m sure. And if I know him at all, then every day that follows.” He closed the door shut behind him, leaving Arthur alone with a heavy heart, his loneliness and a weight on his shoulders he had not known he was meant to carry.

Somehow, this wasn’t even just about Merlin.
A conversation from a few days ago echoed in his ear. ‘My life belongs to Camelot, regardless of the King or Queen in charge.’ That little word ‘in charge’.
Camelot hadn’t had a Queen like that in centuries.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Leon’s PoV (TW: Mentions of multilation, torture, blood and vomiting. If this isn't for you, you can skip the entire Leon PoV, move on to Arthur and just accept what happens here as a secret ;) )

Leon was tired. All this time, Gwaine had been going on his bloody nerves and he sort of wished that the stupid dragon would fry him already so he could at least have the weekend off. It was more than that. This journey had been draining for him in lots of ways and some he hadn’t even been expecting. And Leon hated not to have expected it because not expecting something meant that he wasn’t prepared for it.

“I’m just saying! How come Merlin trusted LANCELOT with his secret? And not me?”

“Because you’re a gossip.” Elian said before he took a bite out of his drumstick. If you could call it that, rabbits weren’t very big. “Someone just needs to buy you a drink and you’ll sing like a bird.” They all knew that this didn’t count for important things, Gwaine was loyal to a fault, but this was not a serious conversation and Elian was teasing him.

Leon let a glance fall on Lancelot who sat several feet aside from them, talking to that blasted dragon while the white dragon suffered. She didn’t take well to traveling these days. “Maybe you’re not rebellious enough,” said Leon, mostly to distract himself from the sight of incredible pain. She would never heal from that, he thought to himself. Maybe it would heal enough to scar but she’d never regrow her tongue, she’d never be able to properly fly again, not with the state her wings were in. Had Merlin not used magic to help her fly - she would have landed head first into the stone ground at Sarrum’s castle.

“Not rebellious enough?” Gwaine sputtered, laughing. “I’m GWAINE, I’m searched in multiple kingdoms! And he’s LANCELOT. He’s more honorable than YOU are.”

“He’s got a point.” Elian said, grinning at Gwaine’s exasperation.

Leon shrugged as he sighed into his water. “I wouldn’t be so sure. You have a bounty for a couple taverns you swindled at. Lancelot committed identity fraud the day he came to Camelot.”

There was a pause. “He WHAT?!” Gwaine’s disappointment was quickly replaced by utter glee. “You’ve GOT to be kidding!”

Lancelot’s voice carried over to them: “HEY, I can HEAR you!”

Leon tapped his leg, growing more and more anxious with every sound that reached him. The whimpers of the white dragon made his ears twitch with discomfort. “Can SOMEONE for the love of the triple goddess ask the great dragon how to make medicine for that white one?!,” he hissed. It had been a long day, a long time of coaxing the harmed dragon to stand up and follow them while also having to force her small body through the thick bushes that kept cutting into wounds. It was torture.
Leon got up, pacing, feeling miserable, even as all eyes followed him with confusion. “And why are we sitting so far away anyway?”

“Because King Arthur said that Lancelot may be a traitor?” Elian said. “No offense, Lancelot. Just in case. Also, the dragon said he didn’t know anything about healing magic.”

“That’s bullshit.” Leon was growing frantic. A loud whimper tugged at his heartstrings. “Has Merlin not left any instructions on how to help her?”

“Eh - He didn’t know anything either, that’s why we were supposed to ask the dragon.” Sir Elian looked at him funny. “Leon are you alright?”

Leon pulled at his hair. He knew he didn’t have a choice but this was - He should send the knights away but they would definitely not listen to him. Maybe take the first watch and do it then? Impossible.

“Leon?” Elian had gotten up and put a hand to Leon’s shoulder in order to halt him.

Right. These guys were Merlin’s friends, Arthur’s friends, LEON’S friends. He relaxed only slightly. “I can’t do this anymore.” The moment he pulled out his knife, Sir Gwaine and Percival immediately jumped to their feet.

“Woah, careful with that!,” Elian said but Leon shook him off.

“What are you doing?” Gwaine was the first to draw his sword. “Our job is to guard the dragons and maybe even protect them. Whatever you’re doing -”

“I’m not going to kill her if that’s what you’re asking.” Leon took a deep breath as he moved towards Lancelot and the two dragons.

“Really? Because it sounds like you want to put her out of her misery -” The moment Gwaine finished the sentence, another creature raised his head.

“Ah.” The great dragon eyed Leon curiously. “I was beginning to wonder when you’d finally step up.”

“Shut up, Kilgharrah.” Leon grumbled as he moved past a startled Lancelot who also jumped to his feet to gather his sword. Somehow, they were all too petrified to stop him. They were just watching and waiting for what he would do. And god’s help him, Leon wished he didn’t have to do this.

The dragon chuckled sadly. “It was only a matter of time. There is no other way to heal her and you know it as well as I.”

“Then why did you not ask Merlin to do it while he was still here?” Leon grimaced.

“Because her wounds are heavy ones. His blood is not ripe enough. Be grateful, I have given you time, despite it paining me to do so.”

Leon looked down. “You could have just told me. If it was as inevitable as you say.” With a swift motion, Leon pushed off his gloves and the metal casts that covered his skin and let them fall to the forest floor. Grunting, Leon stepped closer to the white dragon as he already slit the skin of his forearm with a single practiced motion. “You know I hate riddles and I hate THIS even more.”

“What the hell are you doing?” Gwaine put his sword down. “You want to kill yourself?”

“All is well, Sir Gwaine.” Leon muttered between his teeth as he put the knife in the grass beside him. With his teeth, he removed the glove from his right hand, then dragged his fingers through the fresh wound. And then, he began to paint deep red symbols onto the body of the dragon. “Just committing treason, as to Kilgharrah’s bloody decree.”

“What?” Slowly, the other knights stepped towards Leon as he finished his paint job. He didn’t hesitate to drag his bloody fingers even through Aithusa’s wounds, which made her and Leon both wince but it was necessary for the ritual that the signs were complete.

Once the final point was made, Leon closed his eyes for a moment, ignoring the questions rising around him. “afedan feallan cyrm mean lichama of thuasandes jeares.” Other than Merlin’s, it was not his eyes that burned and the glow was not golden either. It was neither warm nor comforting, instead it left a lingering pain as it always did. Startled, the knights retreated a couple steps as Leon’s blood, up to his very veins burned a feverish silver. At last, Leon was clutching his arm closer to his chest and gritted his teeth as if to bear whatever he was about to feel. The dragon too, screamed at first before one by one, her wounds seemed to close up. At the same time, the very same wounds appeared on Leon. A fact that was confirmed when Leon fell to his knees, his bones broken and his screams muffled by the sudden disappearance of his tongue.

“Holy fucking shit.” Gwaine was the first to be by Leon’s side. Although uncertain what to do with him, Gwaine pulled off his cape and put it around Leon’s still shaking, silver bleeding and withering form. As Leon suffered, he glared at the great dragon with utmost hatred.

Aithusa, however, stepped carefully on her feet, making confused baby noises. She stretched her wings as if to test them and even jumped. Then, as she noticed him, she carefully approached Sir Leon, sniffing him.

“Is she going to eat you?” Sir Gwaine whispered but Sir Leon was too tired and tongueless to answer.

Instead, Leon reached out a hand to her curious snout. Croaking something unintelligible, Leon patted her, feeling her sad eyes bore into his own. Finally, she curled herself up all around Sir Leon, just to give him some place to lean on in his pain. She knew what it was like, after all. Gwaine instantly jumped away.

“What the actual FUCK is happening?!”

Kilgharrah lay down beside them. “Do not worry about him. His wounds will heal soon enough.”

“Huh?” The knights stepped closer together. “Sir Leon - just used magic. HOW? Since when?” Gwaine paused. “He’s LEON.” He paused again. “You know - rules abiding - I’ll chase you around the castle if you don’t abide by the rules, Sir Leon!”

“I know you have questions, but you should ask him yourself. He can’t answer you for now. His tongue will have to regrow first but he will speak with you.” The dragon explained as Sir Leon choked on the blood in his mouth. “But he will not die. Will you, old friend?”

Leon flipped him the bird and it was very disturbing to see, since his fingernails were all ripped off.

“I -” Lancelot knelt down beside Sir Leon. “I didn’t know. I - How? Why? Sir LEON!?”

The dragon waited with patience as the new information settled in on them all and their hearts learned to bear the empathy they felt for Leon’s pain, not to mention the shock. “Sir Leon here, is a herald of time. Not that it matters much.” Leon spat out some of the silverish blood that instantly mingled with the grass beneath him, as he was careful not to spit on the poor dragon. “What matters is that he uses his curse for good. And that is all you need to know. He will be healed by tomorrow.”

“Was that dark magic?” Lancelot carefully stepped closer.

“Haha hahaha.” The dragon laughed. “Oh yes, it used to be. But do not worry, the curse only harms him, no one else.”

“Curse?”

“Immortality.” The dragon said matter of factly, causing Leon to groan for another reason than the impeccable pain he was in. For all the riddles, Kilgharrah had always loved a good dramatic backstory and Leon hated him for many other reasons as well.

“Ah.” Said Sir Gwaine and sat down at the camp fire. They all did, eventually, but in a way they could keep Sir Leon and the healed dragon in sight. What else should they have done? She kept licking over Leon’s head, as if trying to aid the healing and Leon let her. He was shivering but her wings kept him covered. Gwaine cleared his throat. “By tomorrow you said?”

“Sir Leon has learned how to utilize his curse in order to heal. What usually heals him now transfers other people’s pains to him. His curse will force him to live through the worst of it but he always heals eventually.” He paused. “Do not tell anyone. His power is none you should speak of carelessly. You see how it harms him. This kind of torture leaves scars, not on his skin but on his mind. So, do not fault him for not telling you either.”

“Of course.” Sir Elian swallowed hard. “It’s just - after Merlin - it’s just - surprising.”

“Yeah, okay, so -” Gwaine suddenly cut in. “I think we should talk about this tomorrow. It seems a bit -,” he sent Leon a look, “Difficult for him to explain.” He turned to Lancelot. “How about you tell us all about that identity fraud you were going on about?”

Sir Leon was glad that at least, Sir Gwaine had the sense to distract from them while Leon had no chance of cutting in. A cut off tongue - he hadn’t had that one yet. He would definitely not recommend.

. . .

Now that Aithusa was healed, they were able to arrive in Camelot far sooner than expected. They didn’t have to rest as much anymore and Sir Leon was allowed to ride on the white dragon after he was semi healed. He had at least been healthy enough to wash the blood off in the morning. The dragon had not lied but Leon was still bitter over the whole reveal.

“So -” Gwaine started pretty early. “Immortal, huh?”

“As much as I appreciate you prattle, Sir Gwaine, could you maybe leave me alone?” Leon croaked at him.

Gwaine shrugged. “Not really. Here I thought you were the most rule obsessed out of all of us, and I was the rebel of the group. And here you are, and then Lancelot. You’re technically a traitor to the crown, Lancelot committed identity fraud, aided a sorcerer, and apparently I’m not even the only one who ever took part in illegal underground fights. How come I’m the one with the lowest crime count?”

“I’m ten times the age you’ll ever be, Gwaine. Do not assume you could beat me at crime counts.”

Gwaine gasped, positively so. “You’re a 1000 years old?”

Leon frowned. “You think you’ll end up 100 years old?”

“Yeah. 120 even. What else have you done?” Gwaine skipped at Aithusa’s left as she was still carrying Leon and biting and burning her way through the bushes.

Leon was almost amused, if his joints weren’t killing him. “I’ve lived many lives. There was a lifetime I was a bandit who stole from the crown. I was hanged for it twice, I think. Then the King hired me to defend his treasures because I knew where the loopholes in their defenses were and he couldn’t quite get rid of me. That’s how I ended up in Camelot.”

Gwaine paused. “Do you die often?”

That was a bit of a personal question. Leon gritted his teeth. No point in lying though. “My curse is not called a curse for no reason, Sir Gwaine. It’s not that it keeps me alive, it’s attracting death. Over and over again.” Sir Leon closed his eyes. “I think we’re almost there.”

Kilgharrah’s voice interrupted them. “That we are.” They paused as they entered a clearing. The high towers of Camelot ranked high above their heads, making them feel small despite still being so far away. “This is where I shall part with you, young knights.” He turned to Leon. “Old friend.”

“I think we both know that after the way you attacked Camelot after your release, friendship is hardly within reach, old nuisance.” Leon sent him a glare. “I assume this is the line that Merlin has set for you, to assure you will never set foot in Camelot again, isn’t it?”
“It is.” Kilgharrah nodded to him. “Take good care of Aithusa, immortal one.”

“I shall.” Sir Leon finally dismounted the white dragon and patted her snout. He turned to the other knights. “I will go ahead to announce our arrival. You stay with Aithusa until I’m back - or someone fetches you. And remember: “He leaned closer to the still disturbed knights. “Not a word to anyone!”

“Yes, Sir!” They saluted him.

“Thank you.” Sir Leon croaked again before he cleared his throat and went on to march back to the castle. All in all, they had not asked as many questions as Leon had feared. In fact, they were taking it remarkably well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Arthur’s PoV:

Arthur dreamed of soft smiles and magical orbs. It was rather troubling really, to find himself so absorbed in his dreams that he barely noticed the knocking on his door. It was early, although Arthur had gone to bed early as well. By all means, he could have been asleep for hours, had he not been so eager to sink back into his pillows each time he so much as shifted on the bed.

“Your highness, Sir Leon has returned.” That was Agravaine himself. He stood in the door, looking rather peeved as if his servant had just roused him. Which was kind of strange, since the servant should have gone straight to Arthur.

“Has he now?”

Sir Agravaine looked pale.

Arthur quickly got up to throw over his morning robe. That did sound like it needed his immediate attention. Quickly, he hurried after his uncle. He was about to tell him to fetch a servant, only to already meet Merlin half way down the corridor.

“Who informed you?” Agravaine asked, as if slightly disturbed by his presence.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve put a barrier around the castle that alerts me of intruders. I KNOW when someone crosses it.” He said that with so much authority that Agravaine seemed startled for a moment, leaving Arthur enough room to cut in.

“Merlin!” Arthur fell naturally into step by his side, although he did feel a bit awkward after the distance that had kept them apart for so long. Which was off, because it hadn’t been THAT long, surely. “They couldn’t have made it this quickly with Aithusa while she was hurt, could they?”

“Of course not.” Merlin hurried up a pace. “Something must have happened. They wouldn’t have sent Leon ahead if nothing had happened.”

Arthur hurried after him, alarm even more raised than before. They reached the throne room quickly where Sir Leon was said to be waiting.

They did find him there, leaning against a wall, hair a bit sweaty as if he’d hurried here. In fact, George was there to hand him something to drink. “Your majesties.” He bowed to them. “I did not know you had returned.” He did look somewhat surprised and why wouldn’t he? Merlin and Arthur had been quick to travel between the Valley and Camelot, not staying half as long as they had expected.

“Sir Leon. It is good to see you alive.” Arthur said this while trying to keep himself composed. The signs seemed so loud in his ears now. Had George not been assigned to Sir Leon’s family after Uther had died? “What happened?”

Sir Leon frowned. “Nothing has happened. We have just - arrived. And I thought it best not to overwhelm the kingdom with Aithusa. Has Sarrum attacked just yet?”

“Aithusa is with you?” Merlin beamed, relieved. Leon graced him with a rare smile.

Arthur stared at Leon, and then decided to answer the last question first. “We have received a report that Sarrum will attack in a few days at most. How come you’re already back?”

Sir Leon winced. “We have found a way to heal the dragon. We managed to get back faster because of it. I’m sorry if my arrival concerned you.”

Arthur decided to give him a break and Merlin nearly stumbled over himself. In a quick movement, he had approached Leon and nearly forced him in a hug, before he decided to punch him in the shoulders instead. Sir Leon did not take well to embraces, even worse than most other of Arthur’s knights. Although, he has shown some softness for Merlin. Then again, who hadn’t. Still. “How on earth did you manage that?” His hands rested on his shoulder, where he’d hit him.

“Please let go.” Leon went stiff and Merlin quickly let go off his shoulders. He seemed… more affected by the touch than usual, as if he’d been hurt. Arthur decided not to ask and hoped that Merlin would quickly return to his side.

Which he did. “Yes, of course, I am sorry.” Merlin cleared his throat. “Now?” He gestured him to explain.

“The great dragon gave us some instructions.” Sir Leon said this as kindly as he could, although it sounded forced. “They are waiting just outside the border. If you may - I would like to go to bed and - sleep. If you could find someone else to escort them into the castle.”

“He gave you instructions?” Merlin exchanged a glance with Arthur, startling him a little. Merlin was wearing a similar morningrobe as Arthur was. How had they managed to find one so fitting so soon was beyond him.

“Yes. If I would be dismissed, your highness?” He addressed Arthur and at his tiresome state, Arthur thought it best to indulge him.

“Of course.” Arthur nodded at George to accompany Leon. “Just outside the border, you say?”

“Yes.” Leon nodded. “And thank you, my lord - my lords.” He nodded at Merlin as well, having adjusted remarkably well at the change in Merlin’s station. Sir Agravaine nearly looked appalled as Leon left the room to return to his chambers.

“Did he - know already? When has this been decided?” Agravaine pointed at Merlin like he was some kind of product that had been wrongly constructed.

Merlin pursed his lips once before crossing his arms. “Lord Agravaine, is there something you wish to say to me?”

“Just that -”

Arthur pulled at Agravaine’s arm to whisper to him. “I forgive you for this because it is the early morning but do not forget that you’re talking to a King. One who could kill you with a single glance if he so chooses. His delegation would be happy to give you a full witness report.”

Agravaine blanched and Arthur felt a small tug off satisfaction. “Of course, my lord, I was just - I don’t know what came over me.”

“It is quite alright, uncle. Just make sure it never happens again.” Arthur glanced at Merlin, searching for approval, but something in his expression was off. It took a moment for Agravaine to excuse himself and leave them alone. Just the two of them.

Once they were, Merlin pushed his hands into his hips. “Did you just threaten Agravaine?”

Why did Arthur get the feeling that Merlin wasn’t very pleased with him? He did look upset somehow. “He was simply - reminding him that he shouldn’t speak to you that way.”
Merlin raised a brow.
“What? It’s the truth!” Merlin shifted his stance, making Arthur feel as scrutinized as he’d last felt under his father’s gaze. “You don’t even like my uncle! And he SHOULD treat you differently now.”

Merlin stepped closer to Arthur and put his hands on his shoulder, as if talking to a child. “You told him I would kill him with a single glance. With my magic.” Okay, he wasn’t upset, Merlin was furious.

“Well, you could -” Arthur swallowed, suddenly understanding what this was about. “Oh.”

“You can’t go around and tell people to fear my magic, Arthur. Not if they are supposed to embrace it. Or -” He stopped. “Are you warning him because YOU’RE afraid?” He let go, stepping away as if the touch had burned him.

Arthur missed him instantly. It caught him off guard. “What? NO! I just thought - I thought it was for the best.” Arthur bit his lip. He’d really messed up, hadn’t he? “Merlin, you’ve just been crowned King, you have yet to prove yourself -”

“I will prove myself MYSELF, Arthur. I’ve been supporting THE Once and Future King for almost ten years now and have written half his speeches and helped him make quite a fair amount of decisions. I have ALSO learned how the people feel that are exposed to the consequences of my actions, as I have lived not only under King Cendred’s but also Uther Pendragon’s thumb as a creature at the top of both of their hunting lists. I have been serving men like Agravaine for years and know how to deal with them. I may have only been crowned King two days ago but I have been Emrys since the day I arrived in Camelot. I have defeated powerful witches and monsters, solved unsolvable riddles and managed to become a physician alongside it all. I am quite well equipped to handle myself, with and without magic. And I would rather not hold death threats over your people.”

Arthur swallowed hard. “I didn’t mean to -”

“I know.” Merlin averted his eyes. “I just wish -” He took a deep breath. “The sorcerer I was when I saved Aithusa - I was furious and protective and mad. The sorcerer I am when I’m most myself - you saw him. At the camp.” His eyes met Arthur’s, making him shiver all over.

Yes, Arthur had seen him. And oh, how radiant he had been. “I - uh -” Why was it now that words failed him?

Merlin sighed. “Just - To show magic the way it really is, beautiful and not frightening, I would love that to be my reputation. Not my death glare.”

Now Arthur did feel guilty. “I’m - sorry.”

Merlin looked up to meet Arthur’s glance once, then he cleared his throat. “It’s alright, just - be careful next time, yeah? I should go -” He stopped to look once more at Arthur. “To fetch my daughter.”

“I’ll come with you.” Arthur said quickly, almost pulling at Merlin’s robe in his haste. “It would - set the people at ease knowing I was with you when you escort a dragon into the castle.”

Merlin twitched a smile. “Yeah, that’s true.” He looked at Arthur, then himself. “May I?”

“May what?”

Merlin hesitated. “I’ll use my magic glare on you.” He tilted his head, sending Arthur one of his lopsided grins implying one of his more clumsier jokes.

It would be considered embarrassing how loudly and quickly Arthur laughed, to shake off how heavy his heart felt just thinking about it. “Eh, yeah, sure.” Merlin didn’t hesitate, his eyes burning that warm glow that captured twice the sun in them, and for a breath catching moment, Arthur felt that magical tingle buzzing like goosebumps on his skin as his wardrobe received a sudden upgrade. From one moment to the next, Arthur was presentable, wearing one of the deepest shades of red he’d ever worn. As the golden tones turned down, Arthur felt himself flushing at the thought that he was currently surrounded by Merlin’s magic. And so was Merlin. This time, self chosen, he had returned his wardrobe to simple blues and another of his ridiculous neckerchiefs.

“Let’s go.”

This time, Arthur actually did stumble in his haste to follow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Merlin’s PoV:

Arthur was acting weird. They made their way to the border in a relatively silent haste. Arthur kept following him like a kicked puppy and every time Merlin turned around to see if he was still behind him, it seemed like his eyes were lighting up a bit. Then he’d turn around and Merlin got the feeling he’d just disappointed Arthur somehow.
It was odd. The way Merlin had touched Arthur’s shoulders earlier, Arthur had been stock still in response. Focus immediately on Merlin, as if - alarmed? Maybe? And the way Arthur had almost panicked when Merlin had used magic on him. Perhaps he shouldn’t do that again. It was a pity though, Arthur looked good in magical robes.

They did not speak. It was eerie, and marching ahead while being followed by Arthur instead of walking side by side felt wrong. That was why Merlin could only be relieved when they reached the border.

And there she was. Aithusa. Completely healed, not a single scar in sight. Merlin couldn’t believe it. Overjoyed, he forgot to greet the other knights and instead fell around his daughter’s long scaly neck. Just as playful, Aithusa returned the gesture, nuzzling against Merlin’s laughing frame and snuggling up around him. Then she made some noises and Merlin could tell that she had been completely restored. “How on earth -”

“It’s a secret.” Gwaine said quickly before anyone else could answer Merlin’s question. It was only now that Merlin could see the knights and Arthur surrounding him and Aithusa. Arthur was wearing another of his strange expressions that didn’t quite seem to fit him. He looked fond? Merlin beamed, did Arthur accept Aithusa? He no longer looked afraid of the dragon.

Then, Gwaine’s words filtered in. “What do you mean, it’s a secret?!”

Gwaine held his head high. “It’s a secret.” He repeated. “It’s payback for keeping your secret all to yourself for so long. Now we have our own secret. We’re not telling you.”

“What?” Merlin frowned.

“The point of secrets is to not let people know there IS a secret, Gwaine!” Elian face palmed.

Merlin sighed and turned to Lancelot. “Lance? What is the secret.”

Lancelot shrugged. “No can do, Merlin. You heard him. It’s a secret.”

Merlin shook his head before turning to the great dragon who had not yet left them. “And you, Kilgharrah?”

Kilgharrah blinked. “I would advise you not to abuse your dragonlord abilities to force this secret out of me. I would be very upset and so would your friends.”

Gwaine froze. “Wait, he can do that?”

Kilgharrah chuckled. “He is a dragonlord. He can force me to do anything.”

“Oh.” Gwaine said. Elian punched him in the arm and muttered ‘idiot’ into his ear.

“It’s of no matter, Gwaine is right. I deserve this.” Merlin closed his eyes for a moment. “But you, Kilgharrah, still owe me an explanation. You KNEW I would be crowned in the valley of fallen Kings, didn’t you? You KNEW, that’s why you sent me there, didn’t you?”

Kilgharrah averted his gaze rather quickly. “Oh, that was yesterday? How peculiar, I could have sworn it was next week. Must have misread the invitation. Well then, young warlock, I have - things - to do.” Suddenly, Kilgharrah sat up, spread his wings and jumped into the air without a warning. Heavy wind caught in their eyes, forcing them all to blink as the great dragon disappeared into the night.

“Bloody traitor.” Merlin muttered. “Well, it doesn’t matter now.” Then he tended back to his daughter. “Hey, Aithusa my little girl -” He spoke in the softest cooing voice he could muster. “You wanna see Camelot? You want to come with daddy and see where he lives?” Aithusa licked his hand like a dog in search for treats. Merlin stepped aside. “Arthur, I think she’s ready to properly meet you now.” Arthur stepped forward with hesitation, but finally put a hand on her face like he would a horse.

“She’s urm -” Arthur hesitated, clearly overwhelmed with the situation. “She comes after you,” he said nervously. Although, Merlin couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Arthur’s nerves had less to do with Aithusa and more with himself, for some reason.

“She’s a dragon, she looks nothing like me.”

“She’s beautiful.” Arthur said, making Merlin pause. As soon as Arthur realized what he’d said, he quickly caught himself. “Which is why you’re right, of course.” His face twitched awkwardly, as if he was cringing at himself. Somehow, he managed to look miserable.

“Thanks.” Merlin glanced to Gwaine who was was pressing his mouth together to try very hard not to laugh.

“Shut up, Gwaine.” Arthur was somehow beet red.

Gwaine held his breath. “I wasn’t saying anything.”

Arthur clenched his jaw, seemingly very tense even as Aithusa forced him to continue petting her. “Just - shut up.”

Merlin carefully stepped closer. “Arthur, are you alright?” He reached out his hand, almost touching him, when Arthur quickly stepped aside.

“Me? Yeah. Never better. We have the knights back and your child is healthy and we should go back to Camelot.” Then, Arthur seemed to see something in Merlin’s confused expression because he softened slightly and awkwardly patted his arm. “Let’s go.”

Yes. Something was definitely off.
Merlin took a deep breath. Perhaps he shouldn’t have scolded Arthur earlier. Perhaps Merlin’s magic frightened him more than he dared to admit. Maybe, all this new information was just too much for him and Merlin was overdoing it all. Maybe he shouldn’t have shown Arthur so much magic. He seemed - reluctant to receive it.

Chapter Text

Arthur’s PoV:

Walking back to Camelot was an event in itself. Out of all the homes and nicks and crannies, women, men and children of all ages came to lurk in clear fear of the white dragon. Aithusa was a curious little thing, albeit strangely shy for a dragon as she clung to Merlin like a lifeline. Her head was pushed at all times against Merlin’s hand, as if she needed the reassurance, as if somehow, the townspeople were more frightening than her own powers were to the people. Arthur supposed it had to do with the torture.
As a sign that he was here to support both sides of the equation, Arthur stood on Aithusa’s left, letting her separate him and Merlin. For reasons that made him swallow around the lump in his throat, he felt the urge to join his hand to Merlin’s and failed to convince himself it was for Aithusa’s sake.

Merlin’s daughter.

Arthur blinked ahead, bracing himself for something, yet not knowing what it was. Then and again, Merlin would look over to him and when their eyes met, Arthur would look away, only to find Merlin saddening with each glance.

Arthur wanted to reassure him, somehow, but he didn’t know how. If only he could hold his hand or kiss that frown off his - Arthur took a deep breath and caught himself. Merlin being a King, being magic itself, being a dragonlord, it tugged at something in Arthur, deep inside. It was more than attraction, he was very well aware of that by now, that didn’t exactly make it easier to bear. Quite the opposite in fact.

There had been a time, a rather long time, actually, when Merlin’s clumsiness, his refusal or rather lack of interest in women, Merlin’s insistence on staying by Arthur’s side to the point he’d sometimes randomly appear toppled over Arthur in his bed, claiming he were searching for woodworm, had lead Arthur to believe Merlin held romantic and - other - affections for him. The inkling had started with Merlin’s habit to steal dresses, gather flowers and be completely oblivious of Gwen’s affections towards him (at the time). It had continued with long looks, hitching breaths and that strange air of deception despite barely concealed devotion around him. And it had all been supported by Merlin’s random disappearances to taverns and returning late, drunk out of his mind or LIMPING, of all things. It had made sense then. In a strange way it still made sense now. But with Merlin’s secrecy lifted, with Merlin no longer lying and meeting Arthur like an equal, Arthur was no longer sure.

Arthur had never believed himself capable of returning Merlin’s affections with the same fervor, nor that he was deserving of it. Not when he was meant to have an heir, not when he found himself searching out women in the crowd while he sought comfort in Merlin’s presence. Not with their station separating them, not with Merlin never making a sign that he expected, nor wanted, more than what they’d had. The secret hadn’t just been Merlin hiding, it had been a rejection of sorts. Whenever Arthur had tried to step closer, Merlin would step back, or leave.

Somehow, in ways Arthur could not explain, things made less sense now. Merlin’s previous actions were now layered with purpose. His affections no longer seemed obvious or tangible at all, and with them actually being equal, Merlin was no longer tied to Arthur’s side.

Arthur found himself a fool. A self absorbed, oblivious, naive fool who had stupidly believed that what Merlin was hiding would never change a thing when revealed. They would talk and be happy as they were. It had turned out so different, so much more. And now, Arthur found himself watching the back of Merlin’s head, the outlines of his profile and he felt no longer rejected, he found himself far less important and relevant in Merlin’s life than he’d once been so sure of, than what he’d taken pride in.

People were whispering in the streets. “That’s him! That’s the Druidking!” “That’s the last Dragonlord!” “Yes, Merlin, the King’s manservant!” “They call him Emrys!” “I’ve heard the legends, I can’t believe it.”

Merlin was radiant. Terrifying in the most beautiful sense, so full of life and magic, and Arthur felt even more a fool, knowing he’d once been afraid of everything Merlin now represented.

“Sire?” Arthur startled around to find Sir Elian approaching him. “Is everything alright?”

Arthur choked on his next words. “Oh, yeah. Yes. Surely. I’m - fine.” He paused, sensing immediately that Elian wasn’t nearly stupid enough not to notice. “I mean. It’s nice weather out, isn’t it?”

“Sire?” Elian frowned, looking almost amused. “We’re accompanying a dragon into Camelot. And you want to talk about the weather?”

“I -” Arthur paused before pulling him a little closer to be able to talk to him without Merlin noticing. “Have you ever felt - like you’ve taken something for granted, something that has never even been there? Something that’s completely beyond you?”

Elian frowned. “Is this about Merlin?”

“No!” Arthur reconsidered. “Yes! I mean - You can see him now, right?”

“I - yeah.” He looked sad, all of a sudden. “You don’t believe him to be a traitor, do you?”

“A traitor? Merlin?!” Arthur had never heard anything more ridiculous. It, in fact, sounded more ridiculous with every step they narrowed the path to the castle. “Never.” Arthur may have believed it for a few moments, right after the reveal, but it simply didn’t make sense. Arthur hadn’t been able to comprehend of Merlin being a traitor then and he wasn’t able to comprehend it now.

“Then what is it?”

Arthur found himself at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to explain it. How could he miss a friend who was only mere feet apart? How could he miss something he’d never truly known? How could he, with every new knowledge about Merlin, long for everything he didn’t yet know? How did his feelings grow stronger the further they seemed to be drifting apart? “I don’t know.” No sooner had he said it, did they reach the castle and Arthur quickly excused himself. “I must go.”

“Of course, my Lord.” Sir Elian seemed confused.

And when Arthur chanced one look at Merlin, he found the man’s expression saddening further. It made Arthur want to turn back around and it was precisely the reason why he didn’t.

It was supposed to be enough. What they’d had. And it had been. For the longest time, it had been enough because they had been close and because they had found a balance and that balance had been stable and true and Arthur wouldn’t ever have risked losing it. Now, everything was in disarray because of the truth and by the gods, Arthur did not know what to do with himself. He did not know whether it was a terribly bad thing to be so lost, or a chance so rare and so desirable that it might actually destroy him not to take it. And he had never been less certain that there was a chance at all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Merlin’s PoV:

He watched him leave. As soon as they’d reached the castle, Arthur left. Even Aithusa noticed the shift in the atmosphere because she nuzzled further into Merlin’s hand to reassure him. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it did.

Merlin didn’t care about the servants backing against the wall at the sight of the dragon, nor Agravaine’s haste to prepare breakfast for everyone, even including the dragon since she was, in fact, Merlin’s daughter. It required the royal Advisor to ask questions about dragon diets and he really tried his best. Although his questions remained formal, Merlin couldn’t bring himself to listen. Not that he knew what dragons normally ate. Kilgharrah had certainly never told him.

“Hey, Merlin, what’s wrong?” Lancelot had reached Merlin’s side while Gwaine kept boasting about their adventure to everyone who definitely didn’t wish to hear it. He spoke of Merlin freeing his daughter and of how magic was good and all and Merlin got the distinct impression that Gwaine wanted to prove his loyalties in some way. Lancelot did the same in another.

“I’m -” Merlin halted. “I think I was expecting too much.”

Lancelot chuckled in disbelief. “Expecting too much? What? Did you expect more than to be crowned King? You’ve revealed secrets the past few days that even I didn’t know of! YOU told me once that you were expecting to be executed. Is this welcome not to your liking, your highness? Should we ask for another golden magical crown?” He grinned, half amused, half worried.

Merlin didn’t laugh. He knew Lance meant well but he couldn’t bring himself to find it amusing. “I’m just - On our ride to the Valley, I showed Arthur my magic.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t understand!” Merlin braced himself. “I showed him who I really am and he seemed to take it well. But now he’s going around threatening people on my behalf, or gods - what if he’s just warning them of me?” Merlin swallowed. “I mean, it’s not like he has a choice anymore, I AM a crowned King and I COULD, technically, cause quite a lot of damage, so surely he’s afraid of me -” Merlin was hyperventilating at this point as the panic set in. The last thing he wanted was for Arthur to fear him.

“Afraid of you?” Lancelot sounded genuinely confused. “Merlin, he invited you as guest, as an ally -”

“Precisely!” Merlin grabbed Lancelot by the collar in his panic. “I’m his friend, his servant! I’ve been tending to him for ten years and now I’m suddenly locked in a wing of this castle I used to avoid, with people I barely even know as my supposed delegation!” Merlin grimaced. “If I’m King now, I can no longer be a physician, or a servant. I took PRIDE in my job, Lance! It was my purpose. What, pray tell, am I supposed to do in this castle? I don’t even have my own! My people are nomads! They live in forests and swamps and and - And Arthur won’t even look at me!”

“Merlin, breathe!” Lancelot looked overly concerned now. “Maybe you should talk to him.”

“I scolded him this morning!”

“You’ve always done that.” Lance grinned, somehow managing to put Merlin at ease. “I doubt that that’s what’s bothering him. You were always by his side, that doesn’t need to change now and I think deep down, he doesn’t want it to.”

“I -” Merlin bit his lip. “Alright, fine. But I’ll take Aithusa with me. She IS my daughter.”

“Is she?” Lancelot kept smirking. “Who is the mother?” He paused. “Or father?”

Merlin just huffed, before he gave Aithusa another gentle pat to let the carriage sized dragon follow him through the hallways. Merlin had a vague idea where Arthur could be. He could be in his rooms but he had been headed in the direction of the royal garden. It was worth a try, especially since there would be some space for Aithusa too.

The garden was a well visited part of the castle, although Arthur usually only went there by night to think. It was a place where servants would break their fast on sunny days and enjoy small festivities in between their free time. Arthur seldom went near and only ever when he needed to clear his thoughts. It was a place surrounded by high walls all around, which the sun was only shining on when in its zenit. Such a moment was now as the light flooded into the small alley to make the long winded ranks between houses shine in their most magnificent greens. Merlin entered the place with Aithusa and found Arthur here, pacing.

“Arthur.”

Arthur whipped around, clearly not prepared to see Merlin. “Mer - Lord Emrys.” It sounded stale, and forced. His eyes fell on Aithusa. “And - Aithusa. She doesn’t speak, does she?”

“She’s young and didn’t exactly have much time to train.” Merlin calmingly stroked her scales, feeling awkward to refer to the mutilation in such a casual manner. “Why did you leave?”

“I needed air.”

“We were outside.” Merlin looked up to find Arthur studying with a gaze that seemed frightened.

“I needed -”

“Space,” Merlin finished for him.

“Yeah.” Arthur bit his lip, clearly avoiding Merlin’s gaze.

That confirmed it then. “Do you want us to leave?” Merlin swallowed and found, to his surprise, that Arthur seemed at a loss of what to answer. At least he was now looking at him. Merlin repeated the question but Arthur did not find the words to speak. Merlin stepped closer, very slowly. “Arthur, if this is about my magic-?”

“Of course it’s about the magic.” Arthur breathed out, making Merlin flinch.

“Oh.” Merlin tried not to let it show how much that hurt him. “You do know -” Merlin took a deep breath. “I would never, EVER use my magic against you or Camelot, you have my word. Maybe after all the deception it doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, but I swear to you, if you ask, I shall never use magic again, I’ll stay away from you when you need me to, but -”

“What on earth are you talking about?” Arthur sounded genuinely confused, appalled even, much to Merlin’s confusion. Then, suddenly, Arthur looked horrified at the mere idea. “Merlin, I promised you to free your people. I’m not going to enslave you and make you deny who you are. But if you wish to leave -”

“I don’t.”

“Then why would you even suggest such a thing?” Arthur was quivering as if Merlin had uttered a serious threat.

“So, you don’t want me to leave?” Now, Merlin was confused. Arthur wasn’t making sense. “You’re not afraid of me?”

“Afraid of you?” Arthur blinked. “Merlin, I -” He stopped. It was as if he’d found something in Merlin’s eyes that he couldn’t quite look away from. In a couple steps, Arthur was in front of him, putting both hands on Merlin’s shoulder. “I told you I trust you. And after getting to know you, the real you, how could I be afraid? I just don’t know what this means, now.”

“What it means?” Merlin blinked rapidly. “Whatever could it mean?”

That something, that gleam or fear, or excitement or whatever it was, it seemed to reach its height in reluctance. “There is - your last secret. I need to know what it is.”

Merlin’s breath hitched. He tried to keep the growing panic at bay, but he found it so hard to think. “Why?”

“Because -” Arthur took a deep breath and turned around, if only to manically ruffle through his own hair. It was a strange back and forth, touching, then avoiding, then turning back around. Arthur looked like a man who had no idea what to do with himself. “I missed you,” he finally confessed and cringed at the words.

At this point, Merlin was completely lost. He chanced an exchange with Aithusa but the dragon was more content with sniffing the flowers. “You missed me? What does that have to do with my secret?” Merlin paused. “And when would you have the time to miss me? We were together for days! ALL day long!!”

“But it’s not the same, is it?” Arthur was back to facing him now and the sunlight gave his hair a golden hue. “We’ve never -” Arthur pointed at the five steps between them. “This far apart.”

“I have honestly no idea what you’re talking about.” And he hadn’t. Arthur was mad. He seemed mad, and confused and in war with himself. “Does my magic mean we’re no longer friends? Are you MAD that I still have one more secret?”

“I think I might know what that secret is.” Arthur’s eyes, for some reason, were pleading.

Merlin felt bis panic nearly break. “You can’t possibly know what it is. I assure you, you have NO idea what it is.” He stepped backwards, hoping against hope that Arthur couldn’t read the truth from his eyes.

That seemed to drive Arthur mad. He opened his mouth-

Suddenly, a messenger ran over to Arthur, interrupting their little discussion, if only for so long. “Your majesty, word has reached us, King Sarrum’s soldiers have reached the border. They have declared war.”

“I - yes.” Arthur seemed conflicted. “I’ll -” His eyes flipped to Merlin’s again. “WE- will be there in a second. Tell Agravaine to prepare the knights.” The messenger bowed.
As soon as he’d left, a rather deranged looking Arthur stepped closer to Merlin and put a single hand to his cheek. Merlin’s gasped for air in surprise. Arthur had never been quite this close, although the difference was mere inches. And what was he even doing? They had a war to attend. Yet, Merlin’s feet were rooted to the ground.

“Sarrum is attacking, Merlin. Now would be a good time for you to reveal that secret.”

Merlin quivered. “I can’t. You know I can’t. You promised you would give me time to prepare.”

“Why?”

“You’d hate me.”

“I could NEVER hate you.” Arthur spoke with so much conviction that it broke Merlin’s heart.

“You WILL if you know my secret!” Merlin was desperate. “Please, Arthur, if you truly do not fear me, if you truly want us to be allies in this, don’t ask this of me. I can’t lose you.”

Arthur stared at him. His hand reached further, caressing not only Merlin’s cheek, but also entangling with his hair. “If your secret is what I believe it is -” Arthur stopped himself. “What I hope it to be, then you need to tell me.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like I’ve ALREADY lost you!” Arthur’s voice had grown louder. “Please, you need to say it to free your people. To fully be yourself! If you don’t -” Arthur licked his lips, nervously catching his breath. “I’ve come home to Camelot last night, and I came home to a place that was cold and void of everything I’ve ever held dear. You were GONE, Merlin.”

“I was on the other side of the castle.”

“Exactly.” Arthur’s voice turned even more pleading. “But it’s not just that. We can’t be friends, Merlin. Not when you’re a King. Not like we were before. And that is a good thing, of course it’s a good thing, but I can’t give up what we had. But if I have to, I need to know if I imagined it all. I need to know if I was living a fantasy. Please, tell me that I didn’t imagine that you loved me.”

The world around him shattered. Arthur knew. Merlin closed his eyes before he reached for Arthur as well. It was merely a whisper, but: “You didn’t imagine it.” It felt like relief, like a dam breaking and it felt like something inside Merlin opened up to unburden his heart.

Arthur caught his breath. His eyes were searching for his and then he blinked in surprise. Magic burned in Merlin’s veins, in an intensity he had never felt it before. “Merlin, your eyes.” Gold. Everything was gold. It was as if the entire garden was filled with sunlight so bright it was blinding for the eyes. A circle of yellow light opened around them, bathing even the dragon in gold. Not just on the ground, but far above them, higher than the castle walls, a rune circle appeared in the air, spread so far and wide that it would have been able to swallow the entire kingdom.

Arthur’s eyes widened in confusion. For a moment he dared to look up to see precisely what Merlin knew was the dragongate opening. Merlin clenched his eyes shut, feeling confused and out of his depth. What on earth was happening? Merlin had barely said a thing. That could hardly count as a confession, especially when his secret could hardly be called a secret, yet it felt like something inside him had opened. Something that gave him full access to a magic he hadn’t known he’d possessed.

Aithusa made a sound, a loud squealing sound and soon she shot into the sky, broke through the circle and with her dozens of dragons appeared out of nowhere. In a giant storm, they circled the castle, making people hang their head out of the windows to watch in amazement and fear.

Merlin was quivering in Arthur’s grip, but when Arthur looked back at him, all Merlin could see was - love. Unaltered and unfiltered and so intense it had Merlin in a chokehold. “I was right,” Arthur whispered in disbelief but with a smile so bright it was contagious. Despite his fear, Merlin found himself smiling back but Arthur grabbed his face in both hands now, as if to be even closer. “Gods, Merlin, you’re remarkable.”

Merlin chuckled nervously. “I - er -”

Arthur must have lost his mind. It was the only explanation that made sense when Arthur suddenly leaned in to kiss Merlin. His magic flared up and it was absolutely impossible that Arthur couldn’t feel it. Instead of recoiling, however, Arthur melted into the kiss and Merlin was too helpless a man to tell him to stop. It was so soft, yet so intense and it made thousands of little sparks explode around them, quite literally. Merlin’s heart was on display for everyone to see. When Merlin finally regained his breath, he looked up into Arthur’s happy eyes. “I thought -” He swallowed. “I thought this - how is this about my magic?”

Arthur chuckled incredulously. “What do you mean?”

“You were being weird about my magic.”

Arthur chuckled again before he pressed another chaste kiss to Merlin’s lips. When had he put his arms around Merlin’s neck anyway? When had they gotten so close? “You dressed me this morning IN your magic, Merlin. You are magic itself! Do I need to explain to you how it makes me feel to be wrapped up in something that’s YOU?”

Merlin flushed. “Uh-”

“You’re doing it now too.” Arthur’s face was flushed and somewhat embarrassed and Merlin could tell. His magic had reached out to Arthur and entangled itself all around them. It was more power than Merlin had known he possessed.

Merlin bit his lip. “I don’t know how to stop it. This is more than I -”

“I didn’t ask you to stop.” Arthur’s face went even more red, so he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Merlin’s. “Had I known that this is what magic really is -” Then they were kissing again. What was Merlin supposed to do? Pretend it didn’t affect him when Arthur said all those things?

“Your majes-”

Arthur and Merlin jumped apart to find Lord Agravaine standing in the corridor. “Uncle!” Arthur’s voice broke. “What - er - what brings you -”

“The war - your majesty.” Agravaine quite looked like someone had drained the life out of him. “I mean - majesties. And there is - dragons.”

“Ah. Yes, of course.” Arthur took a deep breath before he cleared his throat. “King Emrys, would you, er - come with me to control your - dragons.”

Merlin wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or punch Agravaine in the face. “I - yes, of course, your majesty. That would be the best course of action, would it not?”

Arthur blinked. “Where did you learn to speak so royally?” His eyes were crinkling with amusement though.

“I AM a King,” Merlin reminded him with a lopsided smile. “And I believe we have a war to - attend.” He gestured in Agravaine’s direction, before walking ahead because Arthur seemed to be quite frozen in his spot.

. . .

Arthur’s PoV:

Awkward didn’t begin to cut what Arthur was feeling at the moment. It was an awkward that made him jittery and nervous and positively thrilled. It also made it hard to decide which way to turn his eyes. When his eyes met Merlin’s, he felt overwhelmed, when he averted them, he felt bereft. He could not stop smiling and it was quite hard to remember how serious the situation was.

His behavior must have been most unusual because Agravaine pulled him aside as soon as he could. “My Lord, may I speak with you?” His voice was harsh, urgent.

“Speak freely, uncle.”

“Well, if you’ll allow - he has bewitched you.”

Arthur laughed. “What?” Merlin was several steps ahead, hurrying for a tower, probably to see how close the enemy had come to the walls. Merlin was hurrying so quickly, he forgot to pull Arthur along, and that did make Arthur unreasonably sad.

“Sire!” Agravaine put Arthur to a full stop and even nudged him hard when Arthur sent longing looks after his friend, ex-servant - whatever it was they were now. “I saw you! That is not how a King -” He cleared his throat. “He is a sorcerer! A man! He’s likely cursed you -”

“What are you saying?” Arthur very much trusted his uncle. He had done so for a very long time, but sometimes the man took duty far too seriously. “I love him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You can’t love a man!” That was a complete lack of understanding right there. “You can’t have heirs together! And you may wish to ally with the -” He gritted his teeth, “King of magic, but this is going too far! What will the people think?”

Arthur blinked. “I wonder, sometimes, uncle, why it is that you’ve never married.”

Agravaine straightened uncomfortably.

“You don’t have heirs of your own, most women you flirt with have rejected you and your focus on functions and abiding to the laws are most - dare I say concerning. Has it never occurred to you that I do not wish for a shallow union?”

“What you wish is of no matter.”

“I am the KING, uncle!” Arthur shook his head in utter disbelief. “You talk to me about what the people will think, what this means for my Kingdom. I REPRESENT the Kingdom! If I’m unhappy, then Camelot will suffer for it! If I don’t have an heir of my own, I will simply NAME an heir.” Arthur paused, huffing a deep breath. “You have done your best to advise me in the past, but your ideas are sometimes old fashioned and - ludicrous.” Arthur barely managed to finish that sentence. “They require that I kill a man to show strength, they require that I kill a friend to make sure my walls will never be overcome. They require that I deny my own self, that I deny hundreds of people their true self!” Perhaps Arthur had more in common with magic users than he’d originally believed. “If I am to lead this Kingdom into a golden Future, we have to evolve! We have to take risks and make sure everyone can live together in peace. There is no future in war and there is no future in mutilating my own people. There is no security, no safety in an alliance without trust. Do you not understand that?”

Agravaine stared at him, half appalled, but also half - let’s say surprised. “You ARE enchanted.”

“If I were enchanted, I would not have known how to doubt him.”

Arthur marched past him and onto one of the castle walls. Somewhere along the way, Merlin had found his new crown. And now he stood here, wind blowing in his hair, the traditional armor of a dragonlords making him the most regal Arthur had ever seen him. He couldn’t look away. It took Arthur a while to look away from Merlin towards what he was looking at.

An army marched towards them, on horseback, carrying torches and swords and heavy armor. Above their heads circled the dragons, as if waiting for their order. Behind them, on the inside of Camelot’s castle walls, Camelot’s people resided fearfully, awaiting order or ruin.
It took a moment, then the castle gates opened and Camelot’s knights gathered in front of the wall, ready to defend them. They seemed in disarray, scared of the dragons above and the sorcerer behind them. Arthur was not wearing armor, nor did he carry a sword. For once in his life, Arthur was unprotected. But this was not his Kingdom he was defending. This was, Arthur felt it deep down, Merlin’s war to win. At his side. Always at Arthur’s side.

“Are you sure you can control these dragons?” Arthur whispered anyway.

Merlin smiled before he put a hand to Arthur’s shoulder. “I’ve told King Sarrum that I have no intention of protecting him should he not wish for peace with magic. And if he angered the dragons, he would pay the price.”

“But he hasn’t attacked these dragons yet. What if they don’t fight for us?”

“It only needs one dragon to defeat an army, does it not?” Merlin asked him, as if Arthur didn’t know that. “And I believe my daughter is quite eager for revenge.” As Arthur’s eyes widened, something gleamed in Merlin’s own. “And in case she’d like her parents to handle it, I am a son of the earth, the sea and the sky. He cannot escape my wrath.”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “Parents? Plural?”

Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hand. “I named her after the sunlight. After the first rays in the morning. She is my light of day, my hopes and dreams. I named her after the future I envisioned with you.” He halted awkwardly. “That is, if you don’t want it, then -”

Arthur grabbed his hand with his free one. “Of course I want it.” Merlin’s responding smile was soft and warm, if oh so subtle.

“Well then. Let’s rain some thunder on their heads, shall we?” Merlin put his hand to his mouth to let out a very high whistle. As soon as he did, a very big, very snake-like dragon rose from above. Although it did not seem very pleased to be called in this manner, it did nod at Merlin, clearly knowing what they had to do now. “I’ll be back.” Merlin said as he jumped onto the dragon’s back.

“Good luck.” Arthur was no longer in a position to question him. All he could do was watch and learn as Merlin and Aithusa chased after that army, quite literally letting storm clouds rain thunder over their heads. Not soon after, Aithusa let out a scream, so loud and piercing that Arthur had to hold his ears shut. Whomever she must have picked up in the crowd, whomever she’d ripped apart, Arthur was very sure King Sarrum deserved every bit of it.

Before Arthur could say a word, familiar steps fell into place beside him. “I do believe the army is no longer needed, my Lord?”

“I do believe we should send them out to search for survivors. After - he’s done with them.”

“Of course, Sire.”

“Are you well, Sir Leon?” Arthur didn’t need to look at him.

“Why wouldn’t I be, my Lord?” Leon didn’t look a day older than the first time Arthur had met him.

Arthur took a deep breath. “You know, I know your secret, Leon. You no longer have to hide who you are.”

“I much prefer my privacy, your highness.” There was a mere hint of a smile in Leon’s expression. Barely there, but definitely visible.

“Hmm.” Arthur smiled. “Say, has Camelot ever had two Kings at once?”

Leon didn’t even shift in his position. “No. But I do recall that Queen Ezra was quite fond of her wife.”

Arthur grinned. “And what of their children? You think a dragon will be enough to continue a lineage?”

Leon snorted. “Well, Queen Penelope did start the Dragonlord lineage. Your great great great grandmother, I believe, would have had quite the stories to tell, Mr. Pendragon.” As Arthur turned around, Leon was already leaving. At the same time, a very large explosion erupted in the background.

Perhaps, Arthur thought, he shouldn’t need to worry. Magic was no longer a problem. Magic was their future. Their golden future.