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True Love's Kiss

Summary:

Charlie has no idea what a true love's kiss has to do with banishing a demon.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

As it turns out, nobody actually figured out what to do after waking Mr. Boss from his supernatural coma and freeing him from his demonic wife. Charlie wasn’t even sure they’d get that far, given that they only researched for an hour or so, and Allan didn't even help because he was so freaked out by Charlie's uncle's mannequin. But they did, and only because they were a little mean to Brittany and not at all because they tried to kill her. Now that the deed was done, though, they couldn’t just stand around in Brittany’s house. The place was terrifying, dark, and dilapidated, the rainstorm that had been going on all evening had picked up again outside, and nobody could find Mr. Boss’ clothes. After an agonizing minute or two of enduring Mr. Boss’ sudden song of gratitude (?) and trying not to look below his waist level as he hugged all of his employees, Allan finally had the great and obvious idea to take the company car back to the office and figure it out from there, under the condition that Mr. Boss takes a sheet off the bed to cover himself up.

As everyone agreed to the plan, they dashed down the stairs and into the car, trying not to fall through a rotten floorboard or get struck by lightning in the process, picking up Glep from the garden on the way. Allan drove, with Mr. Boss in the passenger seat, and Pim and Charlie squeezed into the back. Glep was passed out in the glove box, exhausted from the decorating and gardening Brittany forced him to do. It definitely wasn’t the break room bean bag, but it would do. The poor company car was already halfway to the junkyard, and Pim and Charlie were the only ones who actually used it most of the time. It creaked as Allan backed out, slowly making his way down the surprisingly long and winding driveway. The heavy rain forced him to keep the speed to a crawl as the windshield wipers did their best. Every so often, a flash of lightning followed by a boom of thunder made someone jump.

All in all, it was a successful if not bizarre mission: the Smiling Friends saved the boss and therefore their jobs. There was still hope for Charlie to bounce back from dropping almost an entire month’s rent on Jambo’s plastic knife. He really needed to stop going so hard at weddings. As much as he wanted the money back, there was no way he was going to take a single step into Jersey, so he’d just pick up some odd jobs here and there. And if he was lucky, Mr. Boss would toss them all a little extra at the end of the week for literally saving his life. Charlie was no stranger to a drunk impulse purchase. But there was one other thing that Charlie couldn’t get out of his mind as he fiddled with his fake knife, stabbing his palm over and over.

“Hey, Pim?” Charlie asked, after a few moments of silence.  

Pim was looking out the window, watching rain drops race to the bottom. He turned and gazed up at Charlie curiously, his face illuminated for just a second by lightning .

“Yeah?”

“Where’d you get that true love’s kiss thing?”

“Oh! Uh, from… the demon book?” Pim replied, his response sounding more like a question than an answer. 

“Dude, no way. There’s no fucking way that old ass demon book was telling me to kiss Mr. Boss.”

Pim opened and closed his mouth a few times, struggling to find words. “Um, well, maybe it was destiny…? It was meant to be?” Pim suggested weakly, avoiding eye contact as his nervousness became harder to ignore. Charlie, on the other hand, kept staring right at Pim.

“Pim. Dude. You’re a shit liar.”

Pim raised his hands defensively. “I mean, I don’t know, you were the one who was just ready to do it. You, like, you leaned in and everything."

Charlie frowned.

“No. No, dude you… you were the one who was gonna stab Brittany,” he shot back, “I didn’t-I didn’t even have to convince you. By that logic you’re a killer.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do, Charlie?” 

“I swear to god, man, if you actually let me kiss the boss…”

"What? I wasn't gonna-"

"What the fuck does true love have to do with a demon, man?!"

“Charlie, I…ugh!” Pim groaned, “I didn’t think you would kiss him!” he whispered.

“What? Dude, you literally told me to kiss him!”

“I mean, I didn’t think you would kiss him!”

“Huh?”

“Charlie, god,” Pim grumbled, hiding his face in his hands, “ I wanted you to kiss me!”

Charlie paused as he took in what Pim just said.

“Dude. That was not the time for flirting. You were gonna stab someone and you were flirting.”

“Yeah, I know, I know… I’m…not very good at it! But you looked really good in your Van Helsing costume, okay?”

Pim turned back toward the window and rubbed his arm to distract himself from his own embarrassing admission. It didn't take very long at all to get the truth out of him. 

Charlie stretched his arms out in front of him to admire the silver buttoned sleeves of his suede jacket.

“I know I do, man. I spent a lot of money on it. A lot. I might have a problem,” Charlie half-joked (he might actually have a spending issue, but that was an issue for another day). He tugged on Pim’s shoulder to bring them face to face again, “But… you could have just asked, y’know,” he added quietly.

Pim sighed, already getting visibly red, still avoiding eye contact.

 “I-...Fine. Could I have a kiss, Charlie?”

He made sure to emphasize that he meant himself this time.

“See? All you had to do was ask. Didn't know I counted as true love, though," he teased, before sliding closer to Pim.

Pim just watched quietly as Charlie leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to Pim’s, pulling away with an exaggerated smack. He stayed only a few inches away from Pim’s face, and watched as Pim’s half-lidded eyes dropped back down to Charlie’s lips. He felt Pim’s breathing pick up from that brief contact alone, and a hint of alpha male pride welled up in his chest. He leaned back in–

“AHEM.”

Allan cleared his throat harshly and glared at them through the rear view window.

“I did not ask to see that.”

Pim and Charlie broke away from each other (though for Pim, it was more of a startled jump as far away from Charlie as possible). Charlie could see Pim’s fierce red blush even in the dark.

“Sorry, Allan!” Pim squeaked, staring out the window again. Charlie stayed quiet: there wasn't really anything to apologize for, was there?

Allan huffed and continued on down the endless driveway.

“Oh, let those lovebirds be, Allan! Haha!” Mr. Boss scolded playfully, before turning around in his seat and breaking out into yet another unbearable improvised song about his two boys being so sweet on each other, making unwavering eye contact the entire time.

Charlie grimaced, choosing a mud stain on the floor to stare at instead. If they ever made it out of this goddamn driveway, the trip back to the office was going to be the longest 20 minutes of his life.



Notes:

very short but when pim said that i was like?? where did he even get that from lmaoooo

edit: I forgot Glep was there with the rest of them at the end. I’m gonna pretend he wasn’t lol. Also added a clarifying line here and there