Chapter Text
There he sat, against the white walls of the selection room. The area next to him, empty, Nagi nowhere to be found. He couldn’t believe this had happened to him. He’s Mikage Reo, how could anyone ever abandon him like this?
“Together until the end huh? Bullshit,” Reo muttered under his breath. The anger he felt was slowly permeating the air through his skin. He could tell others in the room were sneaking glances and muttering among themselves. They could sense the turmoil going through the mind of the boy at that moment. Reo didn’t care. They could stare all they wanted, it’s not like he wasn’t used to it. Suddenly, his vision began to seem foggy.
‘Fuck,’ he thought as he felt warm streams slipping down his cheeks aiming to stain the fabric of his bodysuit. Reo simply let them. He didn’t have the heart to wipe them away, more would eventually emerge in the emptied space. He felt useless. He was trained to be the best, to have people wrapped around his fingers at all times, and this is what that training had led him too? He couldn’t even make Nagi stay. He was dumb, so dumb. If only he had been better, maybe then, Nagi would have stayed.
Maybe.
As Reo remained in the endless torture of his mind, he didn’t notice two other players approaching him.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Reo looks up and is met with a bulky, orange-haired player, currently crouched down to his level. It made him feel even smaller. The position was interesting considering his pink-haired teammate behind him was standing perfectly upright with his hand on his hip.
“Shut up. Leave me alone,” Reo replied, not in the mood to participate in small talk.
“He’s probably sulky because his overgrown lap dog abandoned him,” the pink haired boy said aloud.
“Huh?” Reo spit out.
“We are in the same boat, Isagi and Bachira left us behind so now we are gonna murder them, wanna join?”
Reo only grit his teeth in response. What other choice did he have?
Reo later learned that his new teammates were not entirely new acquaintances, but former players he and Nagi had beaten back in the first selection. Chigiri Hyoma and Kunigami Rensuke.
In all honesty, Reo barely recognized them, not that he had paid them much attention in the first place. When they had met, Reo still believed he and Nagi were unbeatable. He knows better now.
The thought of Nagi further muddled his already sour mood. Reo didn’t even know what he felt. One moment he was mourning their partnership, wishing he could simply wake up and realize this was all a dream. Another moment, he couldn’t stand the memory of Nagi. He wanted to crush him and show him how he had made the biggest mistake in undermining a Mikage’s worth. God, now he sounded like his father.
“Is it okay if I call you Reo? I heard that’s what everyone calls you,” Kunigami asked from the other side of the cafeteria table. They were currently enjoying breakfast after their first night as a newly formed team. Well, enjoying was a stretch as Reo didn’t show much of an appetite this morning, nor the night before. He was still far too trapped in the past to be able to savor the meat placed in front of him at the moment.
“Yeah, you can do whatever you want.”
“Aren’t you tired of being all angsty? I mean what, was Nagi your boyfriend or something?” Chigiri accused.
“H-huh? He was my partner, not my boyfriend.” Reo murmured, not having the energy to argue this early in the morning.
The undefined ‘partnership’ between the two boys had a large emphasis on ‘undefined’. Reo had come to the conclusion long ago that ‘friendship’ wasn’t the only thing lying within his connection to Nagi. He garnered deeper, more intimate feelings for the white haired boy. However, the concept of their partnership ever reaching more than being friends, was slim. Nagi was not the type to be in love. Reo believed Nagi at least felt a strong connection towards him such as that of being best friends. But after yesterday, Reo didn’t know what Nagi honestly ever thought of him.
“Sounds to me like a relationship,” Chigiri replied before placing his attention on his meal once more.
“Reo, I’m sorry for Princess, he’s a bit…. We just want you to feel comfortable with us,” Kunigami softly smiled.
“It’s fine. I mean he’s not wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised if people got the wrong idea about us because of that stupid whiny baby’s antics.”
“Stupid whiny baby??” Chigiri repeated before bursting into laughter. “Oh my, I didn’t expect you to say that about your boyfriend, I mean considering he’s like a giant.”
“He’s only a bit taller than me.” Reo frowned, only making Chigiri laugh further.
In reality, Reo secretly loved that Nagi was taller than him. He liked that he had to turn his head upwards just to smile at him. The small distance between them made Reo feel that much closer to Nagi.
“Welp, I’m stuffed. Reo, you up to join me and Chigiri for some practice today?” Kunigami inquired.
“Sure, we should start getting to work. I need to crush Nagi as soon as possible.”
On the field, Reo turned into a different person. Gone was the sad, pessimistic Reo, and here was the angry, frustrated version. Reo was currently practicing his shots, standing a considerable distance from the goal, attempting to gather imaginary points. In another situation, Reo would have been easily able to aim and shoot all his shots precisely; however, Reo had been practicing for a few hours now. Fatigue was clearly evident in his sloppy shots.
“Come take a break Reo, you’ve been at it for a while now!” Chigiri yelled from the sidelines before taking a sip from his water bottle.
“Not yet. I’m not done yet,” Reo mumbled to himself.
“Reo, come on!” Kunigami tried.
Reo’s next shot was quite simple, however fatigue deemed the action far too exerting, leading Reo to miss the shot as well as fall directly on his back in the turf.
“Reo!” Chigiri and Kunigami yelled in unison, both running over to see the status of the boy.
“Dammit!” Reo cried when the other boys reached his figure on the field.
“Why can’t I get it right! Why am I not good enough?!” Reo shouted in frustration, clearly angry at being less than perfect.
‘Fuck! I can’t even make simple goals into the net. I’m such a failure. How do I expect to get Nagi back when I’m so far behind him. It’s as if I’m grasping at straws with no possibility of being able to be on top again.’ Reo thought, feeling the familiar sensation of warm tears spreading all over his cheeks.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Kunigami worriedly asked as he sat Reo up.
“I’m not enough. I can’t do this. Nagi was right for leaving me. God, someone kill me.” Reo felt the words spilling out of his mouth with no ability present to stop them. His mind was overflowing. He would never be able to win back Nagi.
“Woah woah, calm down Reo, deep breaths,” Chigiri told him.
“Yeah, breathe in. And out,” Kunigami added.
Reo simply followed their words, using the hand on his back to tether himself back to the practice field.
‘I’ll be okay.’ He thought while taking large breaths in and out, allowing him to catch his breath and refrain from crying further.
“I’m sorry guys. Gosh this is so embarrassing,” Reo confessed as soon as he was able to gather enough air to form words.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Reo. It’s okay, we’re a team. We’re here to support each other.”
“Yeah, don’t forget you have us to back you up when you finally go head to head against that stupid whiny baby of yours.”
“Thank you guys,” Reo said, wiping the excess moisture from his cheeks in an attempt to make himself more presentable.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Chigiri offered, sitting down next to where Reo was.
“No, I think I’ll be okay. Thank you, but what I think I need right now is a hot bath,” Reo replied, beginning to stand up and grab his belongings from the sidelines. However, as soon as he was about to completely depart from the practice field, Kunigami shouted,
“For the record Reo, I think you have far more potential than that guy!”
Reo turned to look towards Kunigami, only offering a shy smile to serve as a ‘thank you’ for his comment.
‘If only that were true.’ Reo thought as soon as he left the field.
The heat of the steaming bath water definitely soothed his mind to an extent. Reo had been in the bath for some time now, foolishly hoping the longer he sat, the more Nagi would become a distant memory. He mulled over their interactions in their Hakuho days, wondering if any of those were even reciprocated.
‘Was it all in my head?’ Reo asked himself over and over. It seemed that insecurity of his that he had tried so desperately to kill had sprouted once more, fertilized by the hole left in his heart.
Chigiri and Kunigami’s presence was almost undetectable. They had joined Reo in the bath a few minutes ago, only greeting him with a shy nod. Reo non-verbally acknowledged their presence, but he otherwise chose to remain silent, opting to instead analyze his inner turmoil.
After a couple more minutes of soaking, a commotion began to form in the entrance of the baths. There in the entrance he was. Nagi. Along with his new ‘partner’ Isagi Yoichi. Reo knew it was childish to hold anger towards the blue haired boy, however, he simply couldn’t refrain from feeling it. He had taken his treasure, and so easily at that. What took Reo months of convincing, took Isagi only minutes.
The team began filling in slowly, evidently tired from a previous match. Reo secretly took a glance towards his ex-partner. He seemed different. Specifically, his ego. What before seemed to only be a small flame, simply existing due to their promise, now seemed to be a rich and dense fire.
‘I wonder if that was Isagi’s doing,’ Reo pondered silently to himself. Reo turned to look at the other teammates, there was the strange absence of that yellow haired boy, but in his place appeared a tall boy with slicked back black hair.
‘I wonder if they lost?’
“Reoo!”
Reo was startled at the sound of his name. Realistically, he didn’t even have to look up to know who was calling for him. It would always be Nagi.
“Reoo, I have so much to tell yo-.”
Nagi began holding his hand out towards Reo only to have it slapped away. Reo didn’t want to hear anything from him. He was tired. Tired of asking himself over and over if he was truly enough on his own. Tired of being this way. Why would he want to hear anything from the person who had made him into this?
“Stop. We aren’t partners anymore, Nagi. From this moment on, we are rivals,” Reo interrupted in a voice devoid of emotion. “And between me and you, I’ll be the one on top.”
Nagi simply stared at Reo. His face, which at first was in shock, soon seemed to silently accept Reo’s rivalry and his lips began to settle into a thin line.
“He’s right, you’re our rival Isagi, care to join us for our next match?” Kunigami suddenly spoke.
“Count me in.” Isagi responded, determination clear on his face.
The match went worse than Reo could have imagined. He should have known they didn’t stand a chance against them, however he was too clouded by jealousy to see the gap in skill. The bright screen displaying 4-5 was a clear reminder that this was real, not some fabricated dream within Reo’s imagination.
“Damn.” He heard Kunigami mutter behind him.
‘What’s next?’ Reo thought. Who would they pick?
Would Nagi go back on his word and pick him? Or would he abandon him once more?
“Chigiri, join us.”
Chigiri began making his way towards the other team but not before softly saying,“Hero, I’ll be waiting for you, don’t disappoint me.” Kunigami only grit his teeth and silently nodded in response.
At the situation, Reo simply curled in on himself, not able to bring himself to meet Nagi’s eyes which he was sure laid on him. He was ashamed of himself. He lost to Nagi, again. After all he had said, he simply couldn’t back it up.
“Reo.”
Reo unwillingly looked up to meet his gray eyes, he never could escape them.
“What do you want?” Reo hotly replied, unsure of Nagi’s intentions.
“Your plays were really good. You were so cool.” Nagi absentmindedly complimented, not paying much attention to Reo’s previous tone of voice.
“Then pick me. If I’m so cool, why not me Nagi?” Reo bitterly asked, glaring at Nagi.
“I can’t, we need Chigiri’s speed and-“
“Then leave me alone. Abandon me properly.” Reo sharply said, in an attempt to end the conversation.
“Reo.” Nagi replied, clearly confused with Reo’s words. Reo simply continued glaring at Nagi, not offering a response to Nagi’s unsaid question. “Ugh, you’re being a hassle.” Nagi said before turning and walking off, following the rest of his team towards the gates.
“W-what?” Reo softly mumbled. ‘Did he just call me a hassle?’ At the realization, tears began welling up in his face. Was this really the end of their partnership?
“Don’t look down, watch them leave Reo.” Kunigami said through gritted teeth, picking up Reo by the jersey and forcing him to set his eyes on the fading figures. “Reo, let’s get stronger and get Chigiri back.”
“Yeah.” Reo simply responded, the figures becoming smaller by the second, and his vision becoming blurrier by the minute.
His and Kunigami’s next opponent wasn’t much better than Nagi’s team.
“Hey pretty boyyyyy!!”
Reo only ignored him, he was used to people being attracted to him and complimenting him, however, not so outwardly. It made him uncomfortable.
“Awww, won’t you pay attention to me?”
“He doesn’t need to pay any attention to you. Now, will you accept our challenge? Take us on.” Kunigami spoke up in Reo’s place.
“You’re such buzzkill ginger. Sure, no one else here seems to be able to allow me to explode like purple bun here.”
Reo, blushing at the implications of his words, looked up to see a smirking Shidou, seemingly proud of himself for Reo’s reaction to the comment. Shidou was otherwise a stranger to Reo, only having met him a few minutes ago to challenge him to a match. He was about the same height as Reo with bleach blond hair and pink highlights matching his pink eyes. Surrounding his eyes was, what Reo would say, a considerable amount of eyeliner, making the boy's eyes appear more in a ‘siren’ shape.
“Alright, see you on the field then. C’mon Reo.” Kunigami said, beginning to head towards a lone practice area to begin preparing for their upcoming match.
“See you soon, Reo~” Shidou taunted the receding boy.
Reo didn’t know how to react towards Shidou’s flirting attempts. If he were in a better mood, maybe he’d laugh, however, the recently heartbroken Reo couldn’t spare any other feelings towards the boy. He walked away with Kunigami, the drive to win present in his bloodstream. At the end of the day, it’s all he had left.
“Fuck! One more, gimme one more!” Shidou yelled from across the field. The score was heavily unbalanced standing at 2-4. One more for Shidou’s team and it would be over for Kunigami and Reo.
“Reo!” Kunigami called as he passed the ball across the field to Reo.
Reo easily captured the ball and began running down the field towards the opponents goal. In the corner of his eye he could see Igarashi catching up to him.
“No you don’t rich boy!” Igarashi yelled while attempting to steal the ball away from Reo. Reo expertly dribbled it out of his reach and continued approaching the goal.
‘Just a little closer..’
He was so close to the goal, only a few feet and that score would be 3-4. As Reo wound his foot back to make the shot, the ball disappeared. He was shocked. It happened so quickly. Where did it go?
“Sorry purple bun! I’ll make it up to you after this match, but I just can’t lose!” Shidou yelled out, blowing a kiss towards Reo, while running towards the opposite side of the field. Reo could do nothing but stare. He was too far away to actually do anything to prevent it. They had lost. Either him or Kunigami were going home tonight, never to play soccer again. At that thought Reo simply collapsed where we stood. Knees digging into the turf, he began silently sobbing.
It was over. He would never be able to play soccer again. He would never be able to play with Nagi again. Even with the anger in his heart towards the boy, he still loved him and yearned to stay by his side.
“Anddddd…. hell yeah!” Reo hears Shidou distantly shout as the sirens blew their final whistle. It was over. Reo and Kunigami had lost.
“Reo, are you okay?” Kunigami suddenly asked, appearing behind him. It was funny he had asked Reo that when he seemed to be worse off. His fists were clenched tightly, nails on the verge of drawing blood. His head was turned away, successfully hiding his eyes.
“I don’t know.” Reo only responded, not sure what to say at that moment. They both knew what was coming, their fate.
“Come on, cheer up purple bun, come join us and leave this ginger behind.” Reo turned to see Shidou’s expression, only to be met with one of pure delight. He didn’t seem remorseful in the slightest at the fact that he had just ended Kunigami’s soccer career. Reo turned back to look at Kunigami, who was now visibly trembling.
“Just go Reo, don’t look back, and beat that partner of yours.”
Reo only somberly nodded, before rising to follow Shidou’s figure slowly exiting the field arena. He felt terrible for Kunigami. If only they could have won. If only they were good enough. If only it were different.