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Laudna hadn’t touched Imogen since the roof—since she realized all she wanted was that cottage with Imogen. It wasn’t until the possibility of that future being snuffed out that Laudna realized how closely she’d held that scenario to her heart.
I’m gonna miss our little cottage, though.
Laudna hadn’t touched Imogen since the latter kissed her hand with such gentle love and sorrow that her heart broke.
Now, deep within Aeor, within the destroyed and abandoned layers of a once floating city, Imogen’s voice drew Laudna out of her thoughts.
“Laudna?” Imogen took a step forward and Laudna instinctively reached for her.
Her fingers halted inches away from that lightning marked hand. “Imogen?” she whispered, voice raspy.
“Laudna, what are you doin’?” Imogen continued forward, head slightly tilted and eyes seemingly focused on something Laudna could not see.
“Imogen, I’m not—”
“Fuckin’ shit,” Imogen gasped, rushing forward. “Laudna—”
Laudna glanced at the group and then at Ashton. They met her gaze, glanced at Chetney, looked to Imogen, and then back at Laudna.
“Oh, shit,” they hissed, waving their arm. “Laudna, get back.”
Imogen had paused, but then she jerked as if she’d been electrocuted and stumbled, gasping. She whirled, purple lightning already materializing around her hands.
Essek looked stunned and slightly scared, but Laudna merely drew closer, hands up. “Imogen, what are you seeing, darling?”
It was a few moments of Imogen taking in her surroundings before she spoke. “This isn’t real,” she muttered. “This isn’t real.”
“You’re right,” Laudna said softly. “It’s not real. Whatever it is, it’s not real, darling.” She reached for her, but Essek put a hand out. He shook his head.
Laudna wrenched from his touch. “I don’t care if she hurts me. I’m not leaving her alone in whatever vision she’s having.” Laudna glided closer. “Imogen, darling? Can you hear me?”
Imogen continued to turn in a circle, eyes wide and hands crackling with energy. Her throat bobbed. “Laudna?” she whispered, her tone soft and scared.
“Imogen—”
“Laudna?” She shook her head, lightning wreathed hands close to grasping the sides of her head. “This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real…” Imogen paused, hands close to fiddling. Her gaze flitted around the group, but past them, as though they weren’t there. “Where are y’all at?” she breathed. “I can’t see y’all.”
Laudna turned, gesturing at Imogen. “We can’t let her think we abandoned her.”
“We didn’t abandon her,” Dorian said, hands out in a half shrug.
“That’s a fucking fantastic observation, Dorian,” Laudna spat. “Why don’t you try and tell Imogen that?”
“Hey, I’m just trying to help—”
“Well, you’re not.”
Fearne placed a gentle hand on Laudna’s shoulder. She said softly, “We are going to do everything we can to help her get out, but we also need to be prepared for the worst.” Fearne’s brows scrunched. “We all love her, but the reality is that Imogen is very powerful—which is wonderful—but she could hurt us.”
“Chetney has attacked us and we don’t coddle him.”
Fearne nodded slowly and grasped Laudna’s hand. “Yes, that’s true. Chetney needs to be held accountable, and he has. He’s far better at maintaining control now. Imogen…” she tilted her head. “Imogen hasn’t been out of control since Exulting.”
Laudna took a breath. “Yes, I know. I know she’s dangerous, but she would never mean to hurt us.”
Orym pushed past Dorian. “We all know she would never intend to hurt us, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen because of whatever Dominox is doing to her mind.” He motioned to the claw marks Chetney had left. “Accident. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. Doesn’t mean it hasn’t made a mark.”
The events from the night before passed through Laudna’s mind, but she shoved them away. Keeping distance from her friends, especially when they were trying to help the one she loved, wouldn’t help anything—especially not Imogen.
“What would you suggest, Orym?” she said softly with as much respect as she could muster.
Orym shrugged. “I’m not sure, Laudna. We can try and talk her out of it, but—”
“I couldn’t see you all when I was…under,” Chetney said. “I was alone. I couldn’t see or hear you. It could be different for everyone, but…”
“Or Ms. Temult could be a ticking time bomb waiting to go off,” Essek said, face grim.
Fearne put up her hands. “Let’s try the non-violent way first, okay?” She glanced at Laudna. “Does that sound okay?”
Laudna gave a stiff nod. “I guess everybody be prepared for the worst.” It broke her heart to say such a thing.
Essek held his chin high. “If she becomes uncontrollable, I will not hesitate to…stop her.”
“So kill her,” Laudna snapped.
“Not if I can help it,” Essek said, his tone just slightly softer. He glanced past Laudna’s shoulder. With a little more empathy, he said, “Not if I can help it.”
Laudna nodded. Then, she finally turned to Imogen whose eyes were still wide and filled with building panic. Very slowly, very gently, Laudna placed a hand on Imogen’s shoulder.
Imogen reared away, lightning sparking, and saw Laudna. Her eyes widened, but a hidden fury seemed to lace her next words. “You’re dead.”
Laudna shook her head. “No, Imogen. I’m alive.”
“No,” Imogen said, fumbling back a few steps. “You’re dead,” she repeated. “FCG—they’re dead and you’re…dead.”
Laudna took a breath. “You brought me back.” She placed a hand on Imogen’s arm, but the instant she made contact, Imogen jerked away as if her touch pained.
Imogen curled in on herself like a wounded puppy, purple eyes still skittering around. She glanced down at the floor, a hand clutched to her chest. Laudna? she said again, but this time her voice echoed in Laudna’s head.
Imogen, darling?
Laudna, please answer me.
I’m here, Imogen. I’m here. We’re all here.
Laudna. Her name again, but this time pointed, desperate. Laudna, Laudna, Laudna, Laudna—
Imogen.
Laudna glanced behind her at Bells Hells, at her friends, who all looked concerned. Rightly so. While Imogen tended to be the most level-headed, that also made her the most unpredictable. She looked at Orym—Orym of all people—who gave her a sad shrug. Imogen…
Laudna faced Imogen again only to find her staring at an empty space in the room. Tears welled in her eyes and her hands trembled. After several deep, ragged breaths, that trembling turned into a pulsing vibration as Imogen’s scars glowed, her hair lifted from her shoulders, and the small pebbles at her feet caught some invisible wind and floated into the air.
Oh, shit, Laudna hissed.
Imogen, hands clutched in front of her chest, released a scream that shook the cavern—a scream filled with such intense sorrow and fury that Laudna took several steps back.
“NO!”
The sorceress lunged forward, hand and fingers outstretched toward something only she could see—and then stopped. Kneeling on the rocky cavern floor, hands clenched into fists at her sides, Imogen dissolved before Laudna. That sweet, protective exterior turned into something dark and icy—something so cold it would burn whoever was in the path of her wrath.
Then, that peaking fury collapsed into a calm which rumbled the space with pulsing energy. It built like a tidal wave and Laudna knew it would crest at any second.
As though some outside force had control of Imogen’s limbs, she pressed off her knees into a standing position. Her scars which glowed purple began to shift tone to a bold crimson, and when Imogen glanced over her shoulder at the group with blazing eyes, she detonated.
…
Imogen hadn’t touched Laudna since that night—since she realized the woman she loved most in the world might have given up on fighting for her future—for their future. Despite the possibility of losing Laudna, despite her closing herself off and trying to put space between them, Imogen had only clutched Laudna’s hand tighter that night.
I just want her to want to fight it.
Imogen hadn’t touched Laudna since she glanced over at the woman she loved, sleeping peacefully at dawn, and let go of her hand.
It wasn’t final, she told herself. Releasing Laudna’s hand did not mean she was giving up. It just meant Imogen needed time. They both needed time.
Imogen’s heart had almost broken when Laudna mentioned FCG.
You know, when we finish this, and we have infinite free time, we should go back and find that coin.
When we finish this.
When we have infinite free time.
We.
We.
It was the closest Laudna had come to confirming her trying—trying to come out of this alive, trying to fight against Delilah and anything which would make a prophecy of her dead-end remark.
I just want her to want to fight it.
It wasn’t concrete, but it was hope, which was better than nothing at all.
Imogen chewed on her thumbnail as her thoughts swam. She wanted nothing more than to be near Laudna—touch her shoulder, grasp her hand—
Movement broke Imogen out of her dissociation as Laudna ventured toward the doom door which had messed with Chetney’s head.
What the hell?
“Laudna?” Imogen stepped forward. “Laudna, what are you doin’?”
Laudna placed a hand on the door.
“Fuckin’ shit,” Imogen gasped, rushing forward. “Laudna—”
Laudna was gone.
Imogen gasped and nearly tripped over her own feet as she stumbled back. She whirled, already delving into her power to bring it to the surface.
Imogen shook her head. “This isn’t real,” she mumbled. “This isn’t real.”
Yet Laudna was gone.
Imogen turned in another full circle as if that would cause Laudna to reappear. She clutched her hand and lighting sparked in tendrils around her fingers. “Laudna?” she whispered, voice breaking. “Laudna?”
She shook her head, lightning wreathed hands close to grasping the sides of her head. “This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real…”
Imogen paused. As the cavern filled with crackling purple energy, she looked to the rest of the group—and saw only an empty cavern filled with the decomposing bodies hanging from those chains.
She was alone.
Panic coursed through her.
“Where are y’all at?” she breathed.
Where, where, where?
They were just here.
This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real—
She was alone.
I’m alone, I’m alone, I’m alone—
She was alone.
I’m alone, I’m alone, I’m alone—
“I can’t see y’all,” she said, voice breaking.
I’m alone, I’m alone, I’m alone—
This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real—
I’m alone, I’m alone, I’m alone—
Alone.
Imogen was alone.
Just as she had always been—how it would always be. Her mother abandoned her, her father pulled away and isolated himself, and Laudna—it was only a matter of time before she lost her—
A hand touched her shoulder and Imogen raised her hands—She startled backward.
Otohan Thull, red eyes blazing with hatred and double blades stained with blood, grinned. “Hello, little Exultant.”
No.
“You’re dead,” Imogen breathed.
“No, Imogen,” Otohan chuckled. “I’m alive.”
“No.” Imogen shook her head and attempted to back up farther. “You’re dead. FCG—they’re dead and you’re…dead.”
“You brought me back,” the warrior said, that wicked grin still plastered to her face. Otohan lunged and sliced Ishta across Imogen’s forearm. Blood bloomed in the wake of the blade and Imogen hissed, yanking her hand away.
She glanced around frantically, still searching for any sign of Laudna. Laudna?
But Laudna was gone.
Laudna, please answer me.
She was gone.
Laudna.
Her love, her Laudna—gone.
Laudna, Laudna, Laudna, Laudna—
Imogen. That all too familiar broken way Laudna had said her name that day—the day she…Imogen replayed that moment over and over again. She dreamt about it almost every night, and now, that memory echoed through her.
Imogen.
The atmosphere shifted and suddenly Imogen stood before Otohan who had her sword through Laudna’s chest.
Chetney’s dead body flashed through her mind and the way Otohan had struck him down. Familiar?
“NO!” Imogen roared.
Otohan stared at Imogen as she grasped Laudna’s shoulder with one hand and shoved Ishta farther through the chest cavity to the hilt.
Black blood trickled from Laudna’s mouth, and as her dark eyes rolled toward Imogen, that spark of life faded to dull emptiness.
Otohan tossed Laudna’s body to the ground just as she had before—hundreds of times before—and Imogen reached out a hand to stop the impact a breath too late.
Always too late.
The sickening thump echoed through the hollow cavern, paralleling the space Otohan had just carved in Imogen’s heart with Laudna’s last breath.
In the midst of her sorrow, an endless, all-consuming rage spread through her like wildfire. All sound vacuumed into silence save for the blood pounding in her ears like a war drum. As Imogen stood slowly, one foot at a time, her scars burned red-hot, and the power roiling inside her crashed against the walls she’d constructed. With little more than a thought, Imogen snapped that tether and exploded.
…
Imogen’s eyes blazed red and most of her marks burned the same hue—so hot she nearly glowed white. Her gaze settled on Dorian.
“Oh no,” he squeaked.
Laudna had never seen such rage from Imogen. The space around her crackled with energy, the air seemed to shift as if it were made of broken glass, and her power vibrated with such an intensity it drew Laudna in. It was wild and primal and crackling with roaring fury.
Lightning flickered around Imogen’s eyes. She lowered her chin and stared at Dorian from beneath her brows. A growl escaped her, echoing through the small cavern. “I’m goin’ to fuckin’ destroy you.”
“Oh, shit,” Chetney mumbled, reaching to tear off his skin.
In the next breath, Imogen rocketed through the air and damp rock imploded with the power of her projection. She latched both hands onto Dorian’s shoulders and slammed him into the wall sixty feet up.
More stone cracked and toppled to the ground, which nearly hit Ashton in the head. “Hey, watch it!” he cried, sidestepping a large piece. “I know you can’t see or hear us right now, Imogen, but what the fuck?”
Laudna glared at him. “Shut up.”
Ashton bit his lip and waved a hand.
From above, Dorian raised his hands. “Imogen, stop. Laudna is waiting for you.”
“Imogen, stop,” Otohan sneered, hands raised in front of her chest in a mocking manner. She tilted her head and that malicious grin spread. “Laudna is waiting for you.”
Imogen’s scars flared. “Do not mock me with her death,” she growled and cast Shocking Grasp on Otohan. The warrior cried out as the lightning damage took hold. Imogen glared at her, her breath hot with fury. “Otohan Thull,” she hissed, breath quivering, “I will end you for what you’ve taken from me.”
A Psychic Lance carved into Otohan, and without missing a beat, Imogen whipped lighting around her neck and threw the psionic warrior through the air.
“Uh, guys?!” Dorian yelled from above as he righted himself from the wreath of lightning that had been wrapped around his neck. “Who the hell is Otohan Thull?”
Laudna’s stomach dropped through the floor.
She and Orym made eye contact. “Fuck,” they both gasped at the same time.
“What do you mean ‘fuck’?!” Dorian cried as he managed to blast Imogen with a golden lightning bolt, giving him some space. “Guys?! What do you mean ‘fuck’?!”
Laudna went to speak into Imogen’s head but forgot she couldn’t. Not with FCG…She shook her head and went with the old-fashioned way—yelled. “Imogen!”
Imogen righted herself from the bolt Otohan had thrown at her, and then paused. Otohan didn’t move. She merely floated in the air, that scowl on her face, but she did not attack. Imogen cocked her head.
Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone.
Those three words played in her head and spurred Imogen’s anger. She glared at Otohan as her lightning crackled crimson, ribboning up her arms and across her torso.
She gathered lightning in her palms—
Imogen!
Imogen glanced around her, searching for the source. “Laudna?”
“Laudna?” Imogen breathed from above.
“She heard you,” Orym muttered, patting Laudna’s arm.
The sorceress lowered her arms, letting the power between her hands fade, and turned, red eyes flitting along the walls. “Laudna?”
Laudna stepped forward so she was almost directly below Imogen. “Darling.”
Darling.
Laudna.
“Laudna!” Imogen yelled, a hand clutched to her chest. “Laudna, where are you?”
That voice creeped back into her head. Laudna is gone.
Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone.
No, she heard her. She heard her.
“Laudna!”
“Laudna!” Imogen yelled again. It nearly sounded like a plea.
Laudna didn’t know if continuing to yell would help or not, but at the least, it was creating a distraction. She motioned at Dorian. With Imogen preoccupied, Dorian slowly lowered himself to the ground, though he kept his arms wide and gaze trained on her.
She looked at the group. “I’m going to keep talking to her. Anyone against that idea?”
Fearne shook her head. “She’s hearing you. I think that’s a good sign.”
“Yeah, you’re getting through to her at least, which is more than we had a few minutes ago,” Chetney said.
Laudna glanced back at Essek who floated silently. Anything to keep him from getting involved.
She took a breath. “Imogen?”
Imogen?
She whirled as her love’s voice echoed around her.
Where, where, where?
“Laudna?”
Otohan—
She whirled and cursed at the space where Otohan had disappeared from.
Otohan was here. She killed Laudna.
She killed Laudna.
She ran Ishta up through her chest, and she laughed as she discarded Laudna’s ripped body to the ground.
Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone.
A new wave of power coursed through Imogen as that fear and fury returned with a vengeance.
She was alone.
Alone, alone, alone.
Laudna was gone and she was alone.
“Imogen.”
She stilled, save for the lightning which hummed along her skin. Imogen turned her head and met Otohan’s red gaze. The bitch smiled—smiled—up at her. “Come on down, Imogen,” she purred.
Imogen narrowed her gaze, lip curling into a savage snarl, and obliged.
Fearne let out a soft, “Oh, boy,” when Imogen glanced down at them and bared her teeth.
Laudna knew what she saw—who she saw—and understood Imogen’s fury, but that meant to her, any one of them could be Otohan, which meant all of them were in danger. She’d been getting through, so she wouldn’t give up.
Laudna shook her head. She’d never give up on Imogen. Never.
I’m gonna miss our little cottage, though.
Never.
Laudna would not give up on Imogen or their life together. She needed her. She wanted her. Wanted nobody else but her.
As Imogen drifted closer, though, Laudna’s thoughts were pulled from the future and back to the present. Back to the disaster which would most likely occur.
Imogen burned with power, and everyone close to her appeared to feel the weight of the energy she gave off. Laudna could feel it in her chest like a hand pressed against her heart.
As she neared, Laudna’s skin thrummed with the power Imogen held around her. “It’s me,” she said.
Otohan smirked. “It’s me.”
“Of course it’s fuckin’ you,” Imogen snarled and Otohan blinked. “It’s you who killed my friends, it’s you who killed Laudna twice, and I’m gonna sunder you.”
Laudna grimaced. Twice? Dominox was showing Imogen her killer and creating a world in which Otohan had killed her again? Had Imogen been filled with this rage when she died all those months ago?
Laudna glanced up in time to see Imogen barreling toward her, lighting bolt building within her palm.
Before she could react, Chetney sloughed off his gnome skin and werewolf Chet emerged in time to grab Imogen by one hand while Ashton held their hammer out and clotheslined her.
The blunt side of Otohan’s blades smashed Imogen in the throat, swiping her off her feet. She landed hard on the stone floor and the air knocked from her lungs. Imogen tried to get up, but Otohan reached out a hand and suddenly Imogen couldn’t move. Some invisible force held her down.
The warrior loomed over her.
Imogen called upon her power, but Otohan merely stomped on Imogen’s left hand and ground her knuckles into the rock with the sole of her boot.
Chetney held Imogen’s left hand to the side while Ashton clicked the Immovable Rod into place, securing the handle of his hammer over Imogen’s chest.
Her anger and power flared along with what seemed to be panic.
“Imogen,” Laudna whispered, nearing her thrashing girlfriend. “Imogen, it’ll be over soon, but you need to trust us. I know you heard me before. I need you to hear me now.”
The cavern began to rumble as more of Imogen’s wrath went unchecked. Her eyes still blazed red, and her scars seared so hot they scorched Chetney’s fur. With her free right hand, Imogen slashed her arm diagonally and hit Laudna with psychic damage.
Laudna sucked in a breath, thankful the damage hadn’t been too terrible.
“Laudna, please get back,” Fearne whispered, her eyes sad and glistening.
"No. I won’t abandon her.” She drew closer even as Imogen glared up at her with all the hatred in the world.
Otohan knelt down, Ishta glinting in the dim light. “Listen to me,” she purred, the cool edge of the blade pressed carefully against Imogen’s exposed throat. “Fight.”
“Who says I’m givin’ up?” Imogen spat. “I won’t stop until you’re nothin’ but smolderin’ ashes on the ground. I won’t stop fightin’ until you’re dead. I won’t stop until I’ve gotten revenge for FCG and,” she hissed through clenched teeth: “for my Laudna.”
My Laudna.
She stilled at that.
My Laudna.
She was Imogen’s, Laudna realized. She never wanted to be anybody else’s for as long as she lived.
She was Imogen’s and Imogen was hers.
Laudna lowered a hand toward Imogen despite the violent power emanating from her. “My Imogen,” she whispered. “My darling.” Her fingers grazed the scars which crept up Imogen’s jaw.
Otohan wrapped a hand around her throat—
Laudna cupped Imogen’s face—gently, oh so gently—despite the way her skin burned and the energy bit into her flesh. “Imogen, darling,” she breathed.
Otohan’s grip increased and her face scrunched into a scowl. She opened her mouth to sneer—“Imogen, darling.” Laudna’s voice, soft and smooth, exited Otohan.
Imogen tried to wrench away. “Stop,” she demanded—
“Stop,” Imogen growled, still trying to pull free of Chetney’s werewolf form and the Immovable Rod.
Laudna brushed her thumbs along Imogen’s freckles. “Darling, it’s me. It’s your Laudna.”
Otohan took Imogen by the face, half-clawed fingers digging into her cheeks as she lifted the sorceress into the air. Imogen expected another hiss, but instead, her heart broke when that musical voice said, “Darling, it’s me. It’s your Laudna.”
Your Laudna.
My Laudna.
My Laudna.
My Laudna.
Imogen reached a hand toward Otohan—
Imogen reached a hand toward Laudna—
“My Laudna…is dead.” Her fingers clamped around Otohan’s throat—
Imogen’s fingers clamped around Launda’s throat and Fearne lunged, but Laudna waved her away. Imogen hadn’t applied pressure yet—just grasped her. Laudna carefully touched Imogen’s scarred wrist. “Darling, I know who you’re seeing, but it’s not real.”
“It’s not real,” Otohan said—Laudna said—
Imogen shook her head. “Stop,” she said again, though this time more desperation perforated the anger.
Imogen tried to pull away. “Stop,” she breathed, voice close to breaking.
Laudna didn’t let her. She held her tight, even as her girlfriend’s hand burned finger marks around her throat like a collar. “It’s me, Imogen. It’s Laudna. I’m not Otohan. I’m Laudna. I’m Laudna and I’m alive and well.”
“I’m Laudna and I’m alive and well.”
It was torture to hear her love’s voice come from that bitch’s mouth. Imogen’s chest hurt, and her shoulder felt like it was on the verge of dislocation. “Stop,” she begged. “Please, stop.”
She couldn’t keep hearing her voice—
Imogen squeezed her eyes shut, head thrashing on the rock as if their voices hurt.
Laudna nodded to Chet and Ashton. “Let her go.”
Ashton gaped. “I’m sorry, did I fucking hear you correctly?”
“Are you off your fucking rocker?” Chetney hissed. “You were dead at the time, but Imogen can level fucking cities. If we let go, she could—”
“Just do it, Chetney. NOW.”
Though he grumbled, Chetney released Imogen’s arm and Ashton unclicked the rod and lifted their hammer from across Imogen’s chest. Then they both backed away.
From her periphery, Essek moved forward, hands circling to create some form of arcane symbol. Laudna glared at him and he paused.
She shook her head. Trust me, she mouthed.
As the wind and lightning increased, she could barely make out Essek’s reply: a curt nod.
Laudna returned her attention to Imogen as her power grew. It enveloped them until it blocked everyone else out from the eye of the raging storm.
Laudna moved closer. Burns marred her skin and the heat sweltered, but she didn’t care. Getting Imogen back was all that mattered.
“Darling, please look at me.”
Still Imogen’s hand remained around Laudna’s throat, but still she did not apply pressure. Almost as if the contact anchored her.
Laudna hadn’t touched Imogen since the roof, and she certainly wouldn’t let go now. Imogen’s touch burned and Laudna’s skin started to slough off in places from the heat, but she welcomed it.
“Imogen,” she breathed, “you are my tether, my heart and soul, and my love. Listen to me now.”
Imogen stilled at Otohan’s words—at Laudna’s words—at Laudna’s words.
“I need you to listen to me, darling.”
She shut her eyes and focused on her voice. Laudna. Her Laudna.
“It’s me, darling. I’m here. We’re in Aeor. Dominox is messing with your mind.”
Dominox.
Dominox.
Yes, Dominox. The demon of loathing who feeds on insecurities, the demon engine, Aeor’s power source—all the information hit her like a swift punch to the gut.
It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real—
“You’re not alone, Imogen,” Laudna said. “We’re all here. I’m here.”
Not alone.
Not alone.
Not alone.
“I’m not alone, I’m not alone, I’m not alone,” Imogen breathed, eyes still tightly shut. “I’m not alone.”
Laudna caressed Imogen’s cheek, the pads of her fingers gliding over the grooves of her indented scars. “You’re not alone.”
The storm of raging wind and red lightning faltered—ever so slightly—but enough that Laudna gasped. She whispered, “That’s it. I’m here, darling. Come back to me.”
Laudna held her breath as that internal conflict continued to rage within Imogen, as she watched her love struggling to convince herself of a reality her brain didn’t want to believe. Yet Imogen fought nonetheless. She muttered Laudna’s name dozens of times along with two words: my tether.
“My tether,” Imogen breathed, the words no more than air. “My tether, my tether, my tether, my tether…”
“Come back to me,” Laudna whispered.
Slowly, Imogen’s scars dulled, the lightning licking her skin faded, and the wild bubble of wind and tangible power died down. The rest of Bells Hells reappeared around them, but Laudna did not tear her eyes from Imogen as she still swam to the surface.
At last, still muttering inaudible words to herself, Imogen’s eyes opened.
Imogen blinked several times as the world around her came into focus. A part of her expected to see Otohan glaring down at her, see her wicked grin as she threw Laudna’s death in her face once more.
Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone, Laudna is gone—
Laudna knelt before her.
Her dark eyes sparkled in the dim light, an expression of wariness yet love all too evident in her gaze. Her cool hands cupped Imogen’s face, her thumbs rotating in small, soft circles over her cheeks.
“Hello, darling,” Laudna whispered, the ghost of a smile on her lips.
Laudna.
Her Laudna.
Imogen shifted to touch her face, but her hand wouldn’t cooperate; her fingers were achy and stiff.
She just wanted to touch her—
Yet her hands wouldn’t listen—
Imogen’s eyes dropped down to where her fingers were wrapped around Laudna’s throat.
Her fingers—
Her fingers—
Imogen gasped and released her hold, hand instantly trembling as she pulled away. Tears welled behind her eyes, and her breaths turned ragged. “Laudna…” she breathed, pressing that same hand over her mouth.
A burn mark shaped like her hand adorned Laudna’s neck.
Imogen retreated further, collapsing in on herself, and through the hand still pressed to her mouth, she mumbled, “Oh, gods. Laudna…” She glanced at her other hand hovering in front of her chest—at the scars which still sizzled like hot irons—and the trembling turned almost violent. “What did I do?” Imogen attempted to suck in a breath, but a sob worked its way up her throat. “What did I—what did I do?”
Laudna reached for her.
Imogen held both hands out—no, her hands would hurt her—
Don’t touch her—don’t hurt her—stay away—stay away—
Imogen retracted, faced her palms toward her, and looked away.
Don’t touch her—don’t hurt her—stay away—stay away—
Don’t hurt her, don’t hurt her, don’t hurt her—
That awful burn mark—the mark she had made—Imogen closed her eyes and pressed both shaking hands over her mouth.
I hurt her, I hurt her, I hurt her.
“Imogen,” Laudna said softly.
Always so soft, so gentle.
Cool fingers touched her knee and Imogen jumped. “Darling?”
“I’m sorry,” Imogen sobbed behind her hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Laudna. I didn’t—” Those all too familiar cool hands grasped her wrists, but Imogen pulled away, opening her palms away from her face. “Don’t. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
At last, Imogen met Laudna’s gaze, and the gentleness in her expression was like a knife to her heart.
Laudna shook her head. “Imogen, I know you would never mean to harm me.”
“But I did—”
“You were fighting someone else.” Laudna reached black-tipped fingers toward Imogen’s face, no sign of fear or trepidation within her. “Darling, I know about fighting invisible demons.”
A teary chuckle escaped Imogen. She shrugged, trying to conquer the overwhelming urge to sob all over again. “That’s true,” she breathed, sniffling. She wiped the back of her hand across her cheek and bumped Laudna’s forearm. She recoiled, wincing. “I’m sorry—”
“Imogen.” Laudna tilted Imogen’s chin up until it forced her to look in those dark eyes. Then, she wrapped both pale, slender hands around Imogen’s scarred ones. “You don’t hurt. The heat has calmed. I’m alright.”
A broken sob cracked from Imogen. “But you weren’t.” Her next breath caught in her lungs. “You weren’t alright. You were…dead and Otohan—”
“Wasn’t really here,” Laudna whispered. She squeezed Imogen’s hands tightly. “It was Dominox. Otohan was never here and I’m alive.” She pressed Imogen’s palm against her chest. The slow, steady beat of her heart pulsed faintly. Laudna pressed harder, solidifying the contact. “I’m alive, Imogen.”
Imogen nodded and sniffed again. Without wanting to, she glanced at the necklace-like burn around Laudna’s throat and whispered, “I’m sorry, Laud.”
Laudna caressed Imogen’s face, those cool, slender fingers tracing blissful tracks down her scars. She shook her head, a form of sorrowful love in her eyes. “It’s quite alright, darling. I knew what I was doing when I got closer.” She said softly, “I would not leave you in there alone.”
Imogen bit her lip and tried not to stare at the hand mark, but she was a moth and it was a flame, and that horrid sight drew her in. She forced herself to glance away, but as she did, Laudna caught the side of her face with a palm.
She tugged her closer until their foreheads touched and whispered, “You did nothing wrong, darling.”
Imogen dragged in a ragged breath, barely containing another sob. “I’m sorry, baby,” she hiccupped quietly. “Please forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. You believed you were doing right by my memory and fighting my killer. Had you known it was us, you never would have lashed out.”
“Well,” Imogen managed a wet chuckled, “I might have still given Chetney a good ass whoopin’.”
Laudna gave a breathy laugh. “He needs one every once in a while.” She took Imogen’s chin in her fingers and forced her to look up. Laudna’s dark eyes shone. “I love you, Imogen.”
Imogen nodded, sucking her lips between her teeth. She took a breath. “I love you, Laudna.”
Silence fell around them, and after a bit, Laudna whispered, “I want that cottage, Imogen. I want that life with you at the end of all this.”
Those words carved into Imogen’s chest. Part of her wanted to cry with relief at the confession, but another part of her began to build that wall back up.
What else do I have to give except for myself?
Imogen wiped her nose on her sheer sleeve. “The other night you were talkin’ like you didn’t expect yourself to be alive at the end of all this.”
Laudna stilled and her gaze grew distant. She rubbed her fingers over the back of Imogen’s hand, and after a few moments of silence, she whispered, “I fear this mission—all this shit with Ludinus and Predathos and the gods—will require us to give everything in order to save Exandria.” She took a breath and gave a weak shrug. “All I have left to give is myself.”
What else do I have to give except for myself?
Imogen sniffed and adjusted her jaw. “For me, losin’ you would be losin’ everythin’.” Laudna bit her lip, but Imogen continued. “I’ve lost you once already, I’ve lost you hundreds of times in my dreams, and once more just now. I am torn apart by my grief every single time,” she said, emphasizing the last three words. “Every time I watch you die, a part of me dies with you, and only wakin’ up next to you keeps me from shatterin’ entirely.” She nodded and muttered, “Hearin’ you talk like you have a death wish is hearbreakin’.”
Laudna leaned forward, brows raised. “I don’t want to die, Imogen, but—”
“Then start fuckin’ actin’ like your life is worth somethin’,” Imogen snapped.
Laudna blinked and released Imogen’s hand. She stared wide-eyed for a moment before she retreated into herself slightly.
Imogen sighed and glanced away. Silence filled the space, and at the moment, she was grateful she couldn’t hear Laudna’s thoughts.
A black tear escaped, but Laudna wiped it away as soon as it fell.
Imogen removed her hand from Laudna’s chest and cupped both sides of her face. “I’m sorry for how I said that.” Laudna nodded, sniffling. “I am not sorry for what I said, though. You are worth love and peace and happiness, and you are everythin’ to me. You are so beautiful, and it hurts my heart when all you see is yourself as a tool to be used and discarded.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” Laudna whispered. “I meant what I said just now. I want a life with you.”
“Do you—” Imogen exhaled loudly. “Do you want it more than you want to give Delilah power?”
“I want to protect you.”
Imogen shook her head. With careful hands, she caressed the burn mark on the side of Laudna’s throat. “You do not need Delilah for that. In fact,” Imogen breathed, “I would hate it if you gave that lyin’ bitch more of yourself tryin’ to save me. I can take care of myself.”
“She’s powerful—”
“So are you.”
Laudna lowered her head and got to her feet, pushing past the Hells who appeared to be attempting to look preoccupied with other things and not succeeding.
Imogen followed, throwing scolding glances at Chetney and Dorian as she went.
Near the back of the chamber, Laudna sat on a rock and pulled out an inanimate Pâté in her lap. She fiddled with his little bird skull and smoothed out his mangled wings.
Imogen approached slowly. She brushed her sheer celestial skirt to the side and knelt before Laudna. Her fingers twitched, and then she glanced up and held out her palm.
Laudna’s gaze flitted between Imogen’s hand and her eyes, but she didn’t move.
Imogen chewed on her lip, brow scrunched before she whispered, “Please?” Laudna looked away. “Please, Laudna?”
Laudna’s hand shifted away ever so slightly, but Imogen noticed. She noticed. Her throat bobbed.
“I don’t deserve it,” Laudna said softly.
Imogen shook her head. “Of course you do.”
“Not just this—any of it,” she breathed. “Them, this—you.”
Imogen reached for Laudna but stopped herself. “Laudna, I love you. I’d do anythin’ for you.”
“I don’t deserve it,” Laudna said again.
“And what if I believe you do? Are you goin’ to tell me I’m wrong?” She tilted her head. “Are you?”
Laudna curled in on herself but did not answer.
Imogen pointed a finger at Laudna’s temple. “You’re eager to pass you off as one and the same, but that bitch in your head is not you. And you are not her. However,” she said more gently, “I do know what it’s like—how hard it is—to fight somethin’ you know is bad yet feels...familiar.” She gave Laudna a small, sad smile. “I haven’t been fightin’ Predathos for over thirty years. I can’t imagine how tired you must be constantly tryin’ to ignore her poison, how murky the line between truth and lie must be for you, how difficult focusin’ on your own thoughts and makin’ the right choices must be.”
Laudna sighed, and the sound was broken, weary. “I’m tired, Imogen.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I know.”
Laudna’s fingers stretched above Pâté as though he were merely her puppet again, but all Imogen saw was Delilah’s toxic threads pulling at Laudna—at her heart, soul, and mind. Their conversation below Whitestone echoed through her head.
Imogen leaned forward. “I want you to make me a promise.”
Laudna’s hand fell. “Imogen—”
“No.” Imogen shook her head, attempting to keep her anger at a simmer. “I’m tryin’ to keep my promise that I will do everythin’ in my power to keep you from turnin’ into her fuckin’ puppet, and you’re workin’ against me, Laudna.”
Laudna blinked.
Imogen huffed a dull laugh. “Do you even remember that?”
“Of course I do.”
“You’re certainly not actin’ like it.”
“We promised we’d embrace whatever power necessary to fight this—”
“Nothin’ is worth your life,” Imogen said sharply. “Nothin’. What would you do if I self-destructed before your eyes for Predathos? For the God Eater?”
Laudna took a breath and then whispered, “I would murder everyone around us if anything happened to you.”
“It’s the same for me. I was ready to destroy Otohan when she killed you again.” She winced. “Which turned out I was attackin’ my friends, so I’m sorry about that—” She waved a hand. “That’s not the point. I love you, Laudna, and I can keep tellin’ you that for the rest of my life, but if you don’t choose to believe it, then you’ll never beat her.” A new wave of tears burned. “And I want you to want to fight her, but I can’t force you to do that, no matter how much I love you.”
After fiddling with Pâté for a while longer, Laudna at last whispered, “I want a life with you, Imogen.”
“Do you want it more than her?”
Laudna’s throat bobbed, but she nodded. “I want it. I do. I want it—I want you.”
Imogen threw any hesitation to the wayside when she reached for Laudna a third time. She grasped her hand. “Then you need to fight, Laudna.” She cupped Laudna’s cheek. “It’s your turn. Promise me that if you really want a life without her, that you will fight. I still intend to keep my promise because no matter what, I’m not goin’ anywhere. Not as long as she still has her claws sunk into you.”
Imogen grasped both sides of Laudna’s face and hissed, “Do you hear that you soul suckin’ bitch? I’m not goin’ anywhere. If you want Laudna, you’ll have to go through me because as long as I’m breathin’ you can’t fuckin’ have her.”
The ghost of a smile graced Laudna’s lips. She grasped Imogen’s hands in hers. After a moment, she nodded. “I promise that I will fight. I don’t know what that will look like, but I will try.” Her beautiful dark eyes met Imogen’s. “I will try, Imogen. I will give all of myself in fighting her because all I want is you, Imogen. I want you, that cottage, a quiet life.” Laudna cradled Imogen’s face and pulled her close until their lips barely touched; featherlight, tentative.
Imogen inhaled sharply and then returned the kiss—still gentle, but affirmative; an unspoken proclamation.
“I want you, my love, my darling,” Laudna breathed against her lips, “but I can’t do this alone.”
Imogen shook her head and their foreheads brushed. “Never. You will never be alone again. I’m here, baby. Always.”
“As am I,” Laudna breathed. “You are not alone when you face those storms, when you fight Predathos, or when you feel like you’ll float away. I am here to tether you, to anchor you, my love.” She smiled. “I love you, Imogen. I promise I will try to fight. For me. For you. For us.”
“That’s all I can ever ask of you,” Imogen breathed. “As long as our hearts and souls are tethered, I will fight for you, too. I love you, Laud.”
Her Laudna.
Her love.
As they rested their foreheads against each other, Imogen placed her hand against Laudna’s chest and let the faint, slow beat of her heart echo her words: You’re not alone.
I am not alone, I am not alone, I am not alone.
They were not alone.
They had each other.