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Jane returned from work earlier than usual. She was reluctant to waste an opportunity to sit in the sunshine, maybe she could convince one of her children to join her. Maybe one would join her all by themselves. Maybe. They had all been working hard recently and things seemed to be settling. Charlie was excited about going away to university, Tori was content doing her own thing and Oliver was happy.
She fixed herself a drink, there was a bottle of white wine already open in the fridge. Her therapist had told her to work on releasing control in small ways. It was a Friday evening in June, even worrying at full capacity she couldn’t foresee any issues apart from running out of ice cream, and the corner shop was walking distance.
She knew Oliver was having dinner with a friend and she could hear Charlie and his friends laughing upstairs, Tori would be home by bedtime. All children accounted for, she took her book and glass and headed outside.
Within an hour she heard the door close behind her husband and she went to greet him. She fixed him a drink and as he headed upstairs to change she heard him stick his head in to Charlie and his friends to say hello, she probably should have done that.
“Your mum and I will be in the garden for a bit longer before dinner.” Jane had been too busy listening to the conversation upstairs, she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching the kitchen.
“Hello, Mrs Spring, we were just down for some juice.” Isaac had always been so polite, he was holding a glass in each hand, as was Tao, standing behind him. In recent years Jane had never been more thankful for Tao’s less than politeness as she had no idea how long it would have taken her to figure Charlie out without his brashness.
“It’s Jane, boys, for the thousandth time.” They smiled tightly at her, she hated that. “Is Elle with you as well?” she liked Elle, she understood Charlie almost better than anyone.
The boys briefly filled her in on their day as they sorted drinks and just as Isaac made his way upstairs, leaving Tao to juggle two glasses and a bag of popcorn Jane was struck with a thought.
“Tao.” He froze in the doorway, “Charlie is okay about all this change isn’t he? I mean he has told me he is and we are getting better at that kind of sharing but-” she cut herself off with a sigh.
Tao took a deep breath, “You know I can’t be the one to tell you if he is not okay.” Jane’s heart was in her throat. “But, I can honestly say he is. Leeds will be good for him.”
Jane felt a weight lift from her shoulders, “I agree, thank you.” She nodded her dismissal as Julio entered the kitchen and Tao scarpered back upstairs.
Jane slipped her shoes off as she closed the door behind her. It had been a long week at work. As she hung her bag up she heard laughter ring through the house from the garden. She was suddenly reminded of a conversation she had almost a year ago, Tao had been right; Leeds was good for Charlie. She made her way to the kitchen to see who was occupying her rattan furniture. She could see Tao and Elle wrapped in each other, Isaac splitting his attention between his friends and a book, Charlie seemed to be telling a very funny story if the laugher was anything to go by. On one of the couches were two girls she didn’t recognise and a boy sitting on the grass, leaning back on the couch. He was hooked on Charlie’s every word.
She must have been staring for longer than she realised, as she was only broken out of her thoughts by the back door being pushed open.
“Sorry, Jane, I was just getting more drinks.” It was Tao, he dropped some empty cans of cider into her recycling tub before heading for the fridge. She had seen the usual group a couple of times since they all reconvened home for summer she knew they had all missed each other greatly.
“No problem,” she smiled and gestured outside, “New friends?”
“Yeah, that’s Tara and Darcy,” Tao pointed at the girls in turn, “And Nick as well. Charlie met them through the LGBTQ+ Society. Turns out Nick lives like three streets away or something.”
“And are they nice then?”
Tao rolled his eyes, he thought she hadn’t seen him. “They’re great. Charlie found a good bunch. Don’t worry.” With that he returned to the group and Jane watched him hand round the drinks.
When Julio got home from work he eyed the group of teenagers through the window. “Oh, new people?” He enquired.
“Yes, they are Charlie’s new friends.” Julio reached over and squeezed her shoulder. Charlie was good.
“Tao.” Jane had cornered him in the kitchen, her curiosity needing satisfied as soon as possible. His head was in the fridge.
“Yes?” came the muffled reply.
“Who is that with Nick?”
Tao backed out of the fridge and looked through the window to the garden. Jane wasn’t sure if all the invitees would fit but every one of them seemed to be having a great time, celebrating Charlie’s graduation. Her son was now the proud owner of a First-Class Honours Degree. Jane honestly didn’t care about the degree. Her son, her Charlie, was standing in their garden surrounded by friends who loved him and standing as tall and as confident as she had ever seen him. He had proved to her and himself that he was capable of wonderful things. Tao found who he was looking for.
“That’s his girlfriend, Imogen.”
“Oh, I thought he was – never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
“No, it doesn’t. He’s bi actually.”
“And she’s good for him? He’s happy?” Jane had grown fond of Nick, all of Charlie’s new friends, but Nick in particular. She had been worried about Charlie making new friends and having to merge his past and his future in ways she was always concerned about. How easy young people might find it to turn away from him. But never Nick. He had taken everything in his stride. She had learned about his own strained family situation and had nothing but admiration for the pleasant young man he had become in spite of it all. Sometimes she thought he was closer with Charlie than they apparently were.
“Well, they’ve been dancing around each other for ages apparently.” Tao interrupted her thoughts, “But I think they’ve only just got together.”
“Ah, I see.” Jane couldn’t explain why she felt disappointed. “Well, get back out there then, it’s a celebration for everyone.”
Jane was in love with Yan’s new kitchen, she thought she would have to try and talk Julio into one of these swish hot water taps. As she looked for a hand towel to dry her hands she realised she was a little unsteady on her feet, the champagne had been flowing in full force this evening. She grasped the edge of the counter to steady herself and relished in the breeze that came with the door opening and closing.
“Thanks for coming tonight Jane,” It was Tao, his cheeks were rosy from the bubbles and probably starting to ache from all the smiling. He stood beside her and also grasped the sink. He must be in a worse way than her. She glanced at him then followed his gaze back out to the garden where she saw Elle showing her friends her ring, again.
She couldn’t believe how grown up all her sons friends were, buying houses, getting promotions, planning weddings. She looked around them all, and struggled to recall if she had ever laid eyes on Tara and Darcy not wrapped around one another, Imogen and her partner Sahar, the kids always laughed about the backstory to that one, Nick included, so Jane concluded no love lost there. Nick was in a deep conversation with Isaac, no doubt over what book to share with his year sixes to get them to feel “some semblance of empathy” has she has heard him complain about multiple times. And Charlie with his partner, they seemed to be doing well.
This time Tao followed her gaze. Ben’s arm tightened around Charlie’s shoulder, almost as if he could sense eyes on him.
“I’m just going to say it. It’s my engagement night, I’ve had a lot to drink and I want to say it.” Tao hadn’t turned away from the window but Jane turned to face him. “I don’t like him. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, I just don’t.”
Jane knew exactly who he was talking about. She had long ago learned to trust Charlie and his judgement, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t understand Tao’s thoughts.
She looked back to the garden and caught Nick frowning at the hand grasping Charlie’s upper arm.
“I’ve had a lot to drink too, congratulations, again. And I’m going to say; I always thought Nick and Charlie might be good together.”
“Uurgh.” Tao groaned, throwing his head back.
“Would that be such a bad idea?” She wondered how she could have gotten it all so wrong.
Tao’s reply was whispered, “It would be the best idea.”
Jane almost tripped over the pile of bags and shoes at the bottom of her stairs, Olly and his friends had never been as tidy as her other children. She couldn’t believe that her youngest was now finished with school. She thought back to when Charlie had been in this position, she didn’t feel the same all-consuming panic about Oliver going on to university, but that had turned out to be unnecessary. Charlie had grown into a well-adjusted, well-loved, kind young man. He had it all figured out.
Well, that’s what she had thought until about 6 months ago when she was awakened at 3am to the sound of Charlie not managing to sneak his suitcase up the stairs quietly.
“Go back to sleep, I’ll explain in the morning, Mum.” He had whispered as he climbed into the bed in his childhood room.
He had explained in the morning. Explained how he had been suspicious for a while, explained that he knew Ben had been lying, explained that he was embarrassed and disappointed in himself for pretending to himself and explained that he hadn’t even been shocked when he found Ben with another body in their bed. He also explained that he thought he might just live at home for a bit while he saved some money.
Jane had been worried, Julio had been worried, Tori had been worried. Was this a set-back? No. It hadn’t been. Charlie had continued to work, even got himself a promotion, he spent time cooking, exercising, traveling to see friends and even joining a local run club and meeting new people. Her eldest son was now 26, she knew she didn’t need to watch him so closely. They had even had that conversation early in his stay back at home. She was proud of how far they had come.
It was Julio’s turn to cook so while she waited for him to get home from work she fixed herself a cup of tea, as she turned to put the teaspoon in the sink she caught sight of Charlie sitting in the garden, this wasn’t unusual as he often worked outside on sunny days.
However, his laptop was closed beside him and Nick was sitting on the opposite couch. This was not surprising as he always comes to visit Sarah as soon as school let out for the summer, and with the wedding fast approaching it made sense that the usual group of friends would be flooding home. What was unusual was the seriousness of their conversation, usually a Nick and Charlie conversation was filled with laughter and teasing. The crease between Charlie’s brows and Nick’s steadfast stare at his own clasped hands was telling a different story. She was pulled from her encroaching worry by a knock at the door.
“Tao! How are you doing? Everything all set for next week then?” Tao had a slightly wide-eyed look and a strange set to his shoulders. Not unusual for a young man a week away from his wedding, she supposed.
“I was just wondering if Charlie was about, nothing serious, Elle wants him to look over the seating chart again.” He huffed out a sigh that suggested this was an ongoing conversation. He rearranged his face to a wistful smile, “She’s away to pick up her dress.”
“How exciting. Charlie is just out the back garden.” Tao made to step through the door, “With Nick.” He stopped in his tracks. His shoulders seemed to relax and his eyebrows resumed their usual position much lower on his forehead.
“Oh,” he smiled, “that’s good.”
“Is it?” Jane wasn’t convinced and she was desperate to check out the back window again just to make sure.
Tao looked her right in the eyes, “Yes. It’s good. I’ll just text Charlie and maybe he can pop round later. Actually, if he comes round later Elle will want to show him the dress. That’ll work.” He seemed to have slipped back into unconscious wedding planning as he said goodbye and wandered back down the garden path.
Jane made her way to the living room to enjoy her tea, but not before one final glance back into the garden. Both young men were smiling now.
Jane was wondering what was taking her husband so long to prepare another cup of tea. She found him leaning against the counter with his back to the window, staring at his phone.
“You know, you can’t stare at that thing the whole time.” She reached over and took the phone out of his hand and set it next to hers on the table.
“You’re right.” He started to sort the fresh mugs of tea, “And they won’t call people right away, they’ll want to enjoy it by themselves first.”
She was about to ask him if he remembered when they had made that phone call when her phone rang. The vibrations sounding extra loud in the quiet house. Julio rushed over as she accepted the call.
“Hello, Charlie?”
“Hi mum, is dad with you?” She could hear he was crying, and laughing, she thought.
“He’s right here beside me.”
“He said yes!”