Chapter Text
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Imogen. Born with pink hair, Imogen was the most special girl in all of Aretia.
Imogen dyed her hair pink because she was fucking amazing. No one questioned this, because she was also a little scary. Pink ON TOP OF PINK. Don't question it.
One day a feral child named Garrick and his friends Xaden, Bodhi, and Liam were playing hide and seek at Riorson House. Garrick decided to hide in a coat closet, knowing that Bodhi was afraid of being in the closet and so would never look for him there.
Garrick pressed against the back of the coats. They were furry and thick, and he kept stepping backward, feeling like this next step must be the back of the wardrobe, but the back of the wardrobe never came. And then, subtly, on his back, Garrick felt the bite of winter, and cold snow drifted down around him as the fur coats gave way to pine boughs.
Garrick was scared because it was summer when he left and he was only wearing his swim trunks, his flippers, and his snorkel. And now he was trapped in a forest in winter. He was afraid he might freeze his dong off if he didn’t find someplace warm soon.
Garrick turned around, unable to stop himself from looking any longer. Sure enough, he was in a winter wood, perfectly picturesque even as his bare skin shivered and shrunk in the cold.
"Goodness gracious me!" exclaimed a gryphon as it stepped from behind a lamppost.
Shit, thought Garrick.
Like all good Aretian boys, Garrick was rightfully afraid of gryphons. He screamed like a little girl and covered his eyes waiting for the strike. It never came. Garrick cracked open an eyelid and saw something amazing—a little girl with cotton candy hair had saved him from the gryphon.
"Stay away from that shriveled nut!" the girl screeched, and Garrick couldn't help thinking, Does she mean...me?
The gryphon pawed the snowy ground, snorting in challenge. The cotton candy girl snarled and showed her fangs, and the gryphon rightfully tilted its head, baring its neck in submission.
Imogen was not to be messed with. Garrick knew this instinctively, even standing there in his skivvies and snorkel.
Garrick searched for something to say, but somehow, all he could think was, “My nuts aren’t shriveled.”
Pinky scoffed and said, “Sure, dude.”
“They’re not!” he insisted. “My nuts are perfectly normal.”
The gryphon faded back into the trees. It wanted nothing to do with this.
Garrick glared at Pinky.
Pinky glared at Garrick.
It was true love.
“Come on, Numbnutz,” Pinky said as she turned to walk in the opposite direction. “You can call me Imogen.”
Garrick jogged to catch up to her, although it was difficult to run in his flippers. “Where are we going, Imogen?” he asked, adding, “You can call me Garrick.”
“I prefer Numbnutz.”
Garrick pouted, shivering again. The snorkel didn't help against the cold, at all.
"We're going to Riorson House. My mom's bestie lives there. They have cookies."
Garrick's eyes went round. He loved cookies. But—he couldn't let Imogen know that. So he scoffed. "Pfft. Whatever."
Nice, he told himself.
“Good, because I wasn’t offering to share.” Imogen set off, cackling all the way.
“Wait…” Garrick said, suddenly confused—he wasn’t very good at math. “Did you say Riorson house?”
“Yes, Numbnutz. I live at Riorson House.”
“No, you don’t.” Garrick insisted.
“Yeah-huh.” Imogen stuck out her tongue at Garrick.
“You can’t live at Riorson House because I live at Riorson House and I’ve never seen you before.”
"That's because you're stupid and blind," Pinky said, matter-of-factly.
"It's a big house," Garrick mumbled under his breath. The snorkel was getting in the way. Why the fuck was it winter? When was it going to be summer again? Where were the fur coats?
“My mom says I’m smart,” Garrick said proudly.
“She has to say that. It’s like the rule of motherhood or something.” Imogen eyed Garrick. “What are you doing out here dressed like that anyway?”
Garrick glowered. He’d just learned that word in a book. Glowered. It's a great word. He was proud to use it, even inside his own head.
"It's fucking summer," he said, and glowed with the thrill of swearing. He swore. He was only six years old and he’d said "fucking." I’m such a badass.
"You're a fucking idiot," Pinky said without batting an eye, and Garrick swooned a little.
This girl was going to be the death of him.
He wondered if any of his friends knew her. He hoped not, because he saw her first and something about her made him want to keep her all to himself.
She crossed her arms. “Well, say something, Numbnutz,” she huffed.
“What?” Garrick blinked. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say.
“Do you want to be my friend or not?” The look on her face made him afraid to say no, even as she said, “I don’t care one way or the other.”