Chapter Text
Lucifer was tucked snuggly into the bed that Charlie had provided him. Ever since he moved into the hotel, he's received nothing but pleasant conversations and interactions… Mostly. The King slept peacefully as the red skies of Hell illuminated through the cracks of his curtains. His body felt warm and comfortable, and his dreams had been pleasant for once. His phone was on his nightstand, charging quietly.
Kind of.
The phone loudly rang his circus-themed ringtone, which vibrated on the table, creating more noise. Lucifer stirred from his sleep and groaned once he realized it was his annoying phone. Usually, the device would be on silent, and he would ignore it, but recently, he had changed that so he wouldn't miss any calls from Charlie! He thought simply changing the settings on his phone would've been smooth sailing, but all it was doing was cause a ruckus!
Lucifer rubbed his eyes and moved a piece of strand hair away from his face. He propped himself on his elbows and glanced at the clock.
Three in the morning.
He looked at his phone's glowing screen—a random caller.
It wasn't like Lucifer wasn't expecting this; after all, he'd usually get calls at three in the morning, but he'd ignore them since any vibration would be tuned out. But that ear-gnawing ringtone could not be tuned out.
The King groaned loudly before snatching his phone from the nightstand, accidentally yanking the charger from the wall. He tapped the accept button and placed the device against his ear.
"Who is this, and why are you calling me at three AM?"
His voice sounded rough and snappy.
On the other line was complete silence, extending for nearly a full minute. Lucifer flopped onto his soft mattress and sighed, "If you're not answering, I'm hanging up."
He waited for a response. He didn't get one, so he moved the phone away with a sigh, and his finger hovered over the red hang-up button. He went to press it, but suddenly, a small voice echoed out of the phone's speaker, causing Lucifer to pause. He quickly pushed the device back to his ear again.
"Hello?" Lucifer questioned.
"Uh-uhm, hi."
A young voice came from the other side as if they weren't expecting anyone to answer.
Lucifer clicked his tongue, "Do you need something, or…?"
A slight cough echoed in his ear before a louder voice replaced the timid one, "Well, guys, I can't believe this! The Devil himself answered the call; make sure to subscribe and hit that like button for our protection!"
The King raised a confused eyebrow. Subscribe and like. What was this, a YouTube video? Lucifer rolled his eyes, "Again, who is this? Are you one of those tech demons? What were their names again… The Keys, or something?"
Another voice came from the phone, except it was more feminine, "Oh my gosh, this is so scary! What do you think—Oh my god!"
A pile of screams came from the other line, and there was shuffling. Lucifer tiredly listened to the mix of voices, "Uh, hello?"
"Did you guys see that?! The bottle flew off the counter! You don't think… The Devil did it?"
A mix of gasps and ohs rounded up before another question flew through, "Did you do that?"
Oh, the question was for Lucifer. The King scoffed, "Bitch, I'm not even there. I don't even know who the fuck you all are, and you fuckers are accusing me of shit I didn't do. And you interrupted my sleep, so fuck you."
Nobody responded to his little snap, and it was entirely quiet. Until the same feminine voice cut through, "This is so creepy, I can't do this anymore. I'm getting the holy water."
Murmurs of agreement circulated, and then one of the voices explained how holy water was made by combining regular tap water with kitchen salt… Lucifer was not impressed.
In the middle of the expiation, another round of ear-piercing screams shot straight into Lucifer's ear, causing him to hold the phone away for a few seconds before returning it close to his face.
"Holy shit, he's here! Splash the holy water on the phone; hurry up!"
The sound of the phone being dropped then splashed with water, echoed while the continuous screams of fake horror lapped over everything. Then it went dead quiet… Maybe Lucifer should say something to show their little stunt didn't work—
"Phew! That was a close one! The Devil attacked Bella through the phone. Thank god we defeated him before it got worse. Anyways, make sure to like and subscribe to the channel—!"
"Man, fuck you guys!" Lucifer cursed to the group of people, "I hope your channel fails, and you choke on that fake ass holy water. Fuck, I hate humans… Fuck you bitches, stop calling me at three in the fucking morning!"
With that, Lucifer angrily hung up the phone and tossed it away from him. He grabbed his blanket and irritatedly threw it on himself. He shifted his body so he lay on his side. He grumbled before shutting his eyes and trying to return to his sleep…
His phone's screen lit up half of the room as the circus theme vibrated. Lucifer shot up from his sheets, and he felt his eyes bleed into the crimson red of rage, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"