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Merlin wasn’t the biggest fan of trips out into the forest, but he did it for Lancelot. There was a part of him that loved watching Lancelot relax among the trees and smile in light of the sunset. He didn’t even mind sleeping on the hard forest ground when Lancelot was near, because Lancelot could make the forest magical. Well, sometimes Merlin helped with that.
Today it was a simple ride through the forest. Lancelot had the day off and Merlin had to pick some herbs for Gaius. Lancelot was the one to suggest they go together; Merlin would never force anyone to go on a ride on their day off. Still, Merlin enjoyed the company. He would never turn down the chance to spend his day with Lancelot.
The knight packed them a lunch and they were on their way. Merlin knew the destination: a small pasture by the river. They had gone there many times before, sometimes even spending the night there together. Away from responsibilities and titles, they would talk and play and kiss and laugh among the small flowers. When they got home, Arthur would yell at Merlin for disappearing for so long and Lancelot would hear the jabs from his fellow knights, but it was all worth the hours alone, together. In the clearing by the river they could feel their souls twine together and wonder how they ever lived apart.
Lancelot, being the chivalrous knight he was, helped Merlin off his horse and set up the blanket to sit on and their meal. Merlin finished picking herbs before joining Lancelot for lunch.
There was a certain calmness in the air around them, making their meal pleasant and relaxing. Merlin leaned against Lancelot, letting his guard down to enjoy their time together. The only sounds were the water in the stream and their two soft voices.
“The council didn’t take to well to the idea.” Lancelot contemplated. He picked up a grape and held it up to Merlin’s mouth. Merlin ate the fruit with a bemused smile on his face.
“I doubt anyone wanted more training.” He said, mouth full of grape.
“I can see why Arthur called for it, but…” Lancelot quietly huffed in laughter before continuation, “It’s true. None of us were particularly happy about it. Especially Gwaine.”
Merlin laughed. “Oh, I can imagine his reaction. Did it involve that little pout he does when he’s upset?”
“Through the entire meeting.”
Merlin giggled, his body shaking with delight at the mental image. He laughed so hard that Lancelot had to put down his cup and move to hold Merlin in his arms to make sure the other man didn’t fall.
Merlin looked up the Lancelot, who now had Merlin cradled in his arms. He had an amused smile.
Merlin gave Lancelot a huge grin, suddenly overcome with how much he liked to be this close to his love. “Hello.”
“Hello to you too.” Lancelot smoothly replied.
“Come here often?” Merlin teased.
“Only to see you.”
Lancelot never expressed his emotion as openly as Merlin did, but through the months of stolen moments and glances across the room, Merlin learned how to read Lancelot like a book. Lancelot had always been able to read Merlin, although he was embarrassed to admit that was a fairly easy skill to pick up. Arthur, Gaius, and the knights could all tell what Merlin was feeling. What made Lancelot special, however, was how he responded to Merlin’s moods. His responses tended to involve lovely, lovely kisses.
But now, Merlin could see how happy Lancelot was. His smile was light, his eyes shone, and his shoulders held almost no tension. It was the best sight Merlin had ever seen. Lancelot might be his strong knight in shining armor, but he would always cherish the sight of Lancelot as the serene man with the sparkle in his eye. It was the man Merlin fell in love with.
Merlin lifted himself to bring his lips to Lancelot’s. Their eyes fluttered closed and they kissed. No matter how many times they kissed, Merlin felt a spark in his chest every time. It didn’t matter what kind of kiss it was, whether it be stolen kisses after training, passionate kisses late at night, or gentle kisses in the forest. Merlin felt as if he fell in love all over again every time.
Lancelot responded by holding Merlin closer to his body and threading his hand in Merlin’s hair. Merlin gripped the front of Lancelot’s tunic, pulling Lancelot as close as he physically could. Even when they broke their kiss, they never let go of each other. Merlin rested his head on the other man’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of Lancelot’s body seep through the thin fabric.
Lancelot broke the silence, in awe of the man in his arms. “You are unlike anyone I have ever met.”
Merlin chuckled. Lancelot said that more often than he probably realized. “Why, because I can do this?” He cupped his hands together, and, after a quick incantation and a flash of gold in his eyes, he opened his hands to reveal a small daisy had appeared.
Lancelot looked amazed, eyes glistening with child-like wonder. He seemed to be holding his breath, which he eventually let out with an astonished gasp and a smile. “Well… yes, of course, but that’s not what I was talking about.” He gently took the flower from Merlin’s hand and tucked it behind Merlin’s ear, making the warlock smile and nuzzle the knight’s shoulder.
“You are unlike…” Lancelot drifted off and raised his head. His smile faded as he grew quiet and his face became serious. Merlin felt the arms around him tighten. He knew that look. It was the face of the knight of Camelot. Something was wrong.
“Lancelot… what is it?” Merlin whispered. He removed himself from Lancelot’s arms and sat up, listening for any disturbances.
In what felt like a heartbeat, he saw the bushes around them rustle, then huge men in leather armor rush out, screaming. Just as quickly, Lancelot stood and retrieved his sword from his horse, already taking swings at the attacking bandits.
Why, oh why of all times to attack, why did it have to be now? Right when he had time to spend with the love of his life. It was all going by so fast. Lancelot already killed one of the bandits and was currently engaged in a duel with another one. Merlin stood, frozen, feeling fear unlike anything else as he watched Lancelot fight.
Merlin heard yelling behind him. He finally was able to move from his spot, seeing two burley men with axes running toward him. Merlin hated to admit it, but this was becoming a common occurrence. Too much time spent with Arthur, he supposed. He didn’t even need to recite the spell anymore. In a flash of gold, the tree root in front of the men shot out of the ground and tripped them. Both landed on their heads, knocking them out, if not killing them.
It wasn’t a second after the men hit the ground that Merlin heard Lancelot take care of a bandit. There was a second one though, one going for Lancelot’s back. Lancelot was easily able to fight off the first swing from this man, but the rest wasn’t as easy. The bandit was easily the size of Percival, and seemed to have some of Gwaine’s moves. Lancelot might have an equal fighting chance if he was in his chainmail, but he was doomed without it.
Merlin had to act. He couldn’t just watch this unfold in front of him. He held out his hands, having used this incantation so much it was almost like second nature. He aimed his magic toward the bandit, and said those familiar words.
Unfortunately, just as Merlin finished the last word, Lancelot pushed the bandit with his shoulder, knocking him back a few steps, and Lancelot ended up standing where the bandit was. The magic shot forward and hit Lancelot. It threw the knight back, slamming him against the tree.
Merlin’s heart constricted. He watched in horror as his love was knocked out. Time seemed to slow down as he saw Lancelot’s unconscious body fall down into a pile at the bottom of the tree. Merlin heard nothing except his heartbeat.
The warlock sprinted to his broken knight. He ran past the stunned bandit, quickly saying another incantation to knock that man unconscious. Despite how fast he ran, it felt like he ran a mile to get to Lancelot. He was always too far away, always just out of reach.
And when he finally reached Lancelot, fear took over.
He kneeled down, taking the man in his arms. “L-Lancelot…” He sobbed, “Lancelot…”
His breathing was shallow, but Lancelot used his rapidly diminishing energy to look up at Merlin. He slowly blinked once, twice, and gave a weak smile.
“…You’re safe.” Lancelot whispered. After the last syllable, he passed out, head falling against Merlin’s chest.
Tears started to blur Merlin’s vision. He started shaking with sadness. No, no, this was not the right time. Lancelot needed him, and he needed to get Lancelot back to Camelot. Gaius would know how to help.
Merlin lay Lancelot down on the soft grass and quickly packed up their things. If Arthur saw the state of the items, he might tease Merlin about it for a week, not that Merlin would care. He had a mission right now. Once the items were secured well enough to make the trip back, he checked to see if Lancelot was breathing.
The next part was the tricky part. He got Lancelot on his horse, and tethered the two animals together. He had to walk quickly enough to get back in time, but couldn’t jostle Lancelot around too much. He was so panicked at first that he started the horses too fast, and nearly got Lancelot thrown to the ground. After what felt like a heart attack, Merlin readjusted the poor knight and set off on a brisk, but slower, pace.
Merlin had never been so happy to see the walls of Camelot. He choked back some tears of joy, although he couldn’t celebrate yet. He led them through the streets to the courtyard, where a familiar voice greeted them.
“Alright, men. Morgana is very intelligent. Her next move could prove fatal if we don’t stay one step ahead of her.”
Merlin didn’t know if he should be overjoyed or terrified at hearing Arthur’s voice ring out through the courtyard. A few more steps into the space and he saw the prince addressing some knights as well as a group of guards. He seemed to be reorganizing some of his men.
“Duties are being rearranged in council, but for this week, you are to receive your daily assignments from Sir Leon dire--”
“Arthur!” Merlin shouted before his brain could register what he was doing. Arthur looked in the direction of the voice, his face contorted in a mixture of surprise and confusion. He almost looked offended at being interrupted.
“Merlin? Can’t you see I…” Any anger disappeared form his face when he saw Lancelot’s limp body on the horse. His expression turned to fear, the same fear Merlin had felt for the past half hour, and he ran over to where the two horses were.
“You two!” Arthur pointed at two of his guards. “Get a stretcher! The rest of you, wait here!”
Merlin jumped off his horse and ran around to help Arthur pull Lancelot off of the horse. “Merlin, what happened? I thought you two were going to collect herbs?”
“We… we were attacked by bandits.” Merlin choked down some tears, knowing he couldn’t tell Arthur the truth about what he had done. “… One of them threw Lancelot against a tree.”
Arthur thought this over as he laid Lancelot on the stretcher. “Take him to Gaius,” he instructed the two guards. When he looked back up, he put his hands on Merlin’s shoulders. “I’m glad you were able to bring him back home. You’re both safe now.”
Merlin nodded at Arthur. He felt relief hit him. The journey back home was finally over. It should be a comfort knowing that Lancelot was in good hands, but it wasn’t over yet. He still had to recover. Merlin was finally able to feel his fear and guilt in full force. It was comforting, however, to know that his best friend was there to help him.
Arthur was the one to break the contact, needing to take care of some things first before helping Merlin. “Leon, lead your knights to find the bandits that attacked Merlin and Sir Lancelot. The rest of you patrol in the lower town.” After a nod from the knight, Arthur walked to catch up with the stretcher.
Merlin moved to catch up, when a strong hand stopped him in his tracks. He was proud he only jumped a little, given that the events of the day left him pretty shaken. He looked up to see the soft eyes of Leon.
“Where were you when you were attacked?” Leon asked, voice low.
Merlin swallowed, not wanting to say more than he had to. “…The meadow. By the river.”
Leon’s face softened with understanding, then he frowned with sympathy. “Thank you. Sorry about what happened. I… I know you two love it there.”
Merlin nodded, shifting his weight and sniffling back his tears. “Thanks,” was all he could manage to get out.
~
Arthur was already pacing by the time Merlin arrived. The scene before was expected, but it still hurt none the less. Gaius was mixing some sort of concoction and Arthur was pacing by the fire, worry making wrinkles on his face. Lancelot was still unconscious, put on the spare bed in the room.
“He will be alright in time, sire. I just need to know what happened to be able to properly cure him,” Gaius said.
“Merlin says he was thrown against a tree by a bandit.” Arthur’s reply came.
Gaius made a face of disbelief before catching Merlin’s eye. Unfortunately, Arthur saw it. No, Merlin didn’t want to have to tell the truth in front of Arthur. He already almost lost one friend today. He couldn’t lose another.
“What is it, Gaius?”
“… Well, sire, it’s just that it must have been a very strong bandit to do this much damage.” Gaius’ eyes didn’t leave Merlin. Sometime during the sentence, Arthur followed Gaius’ gaze to finally realize that Merlin entered.
“Well, Merlin knows the story better than I do. Why don’t you tell him, Merlin?”
Merlin’s voice died in his throat. No, he couldn’t. He felt the world’s eyes on him, burning into his flesh. Fresh tears formed in his eyes; soon they were silently running down his cheeks. There was no way that Arthur and Gaius couldn’t notice his shaking.
Thankfully, Gaius interjected. Merlin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Sire, he’s had a long day. I can figure out the specifics later. There are still things I can do.”
Arthur looked like he wanted to protest, but between the broken look from Merlin and the stern look from Gaius, he had to agree. “Yes, of course. Then, I will leave you to your work.”
“Thank you, sire.”
“Fetch me when we need to move Lancelot to his chambers. I will see to it personally.”
“Of course, sire.”
Arthur left the room, but not before giving Merlin a sympathetic look. When the door clicked shut, Merlin collapsed onto a bench. He curled into himself, pulling his legs to his chest and hiding his face in his knees.
Gaius walked over and sat down next to Merlin. He placed a hand on Merlin’s back, trying to offer some comfort.
Gaius spoke low, as if not to wake anyone. “I do really need to know what happened.”
“I know,” Merlin mumbled.
“Was it a bandit?”
Merlin didn’t reply. He let out a sob into his knees and began shaking again.
“Merlin?”
“…No.”
“Then what was it?”
Merlin lifted his head. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. “Me.”
Gaius looked shocked, but didn’t break contact with Merlin. “What?”
“It was me, Gaius. We… we were attacked, but I thought I would help by using magic and… I missed. I did this to Lancelot.” At the confession, Merlin couldn’t hold in his emotion anymore. He began to sob. He gripped his pants so tight his knuckles were white.
In the midst of his inner turmoil, Merlin felt a comforting arm wrap around him, pulling him closer. He allowed himself to lean into the arm, taking the support it offered. Gaius rubbed Merlin’s shoulder, trying to calm the warlock down.
“Merlin…” Gaius began, “I know it was an accident.”
“But I nearly killed Lancelot!” Merlin sobbed.
Gaius turned Merlin to see him face to face. Merlin didn’t want to look up, but he did. His eyes were bright red and his face was soaked with tears. He must be a sight. “But I know you were trying to save him,” Gaius spoke firmly, to get his point across. “You didn’t do this on purpose.”
Merlin sniffled and nodded, accepting Gaius’ words. He knew it was an accident, but a small part of him still blamed himself. If it weren’t for him, Lancelot would be well and smiling and wanting to go train with the other knights. But now, the knight was lying in a bed having nearly escaped death. “I know.”
“Lancelot will be fine,” Gaius smiled. “He just needs rest and warmth and to heal.”
Merlin took a deep breath, a few last stray tears falling. He gave Gaius a strained smile.
“That’s better.” Gaius gave Merlin another hug. Merlin silently vowed he would make everything right. He would take care of Lancelot for as long as he needed. Then, he could beg for Lancelot’s forgiveness.
~
Arthur had personally seen to moving Lancelot out of Gaius’ chambers. He enlisted the help of Elyan, not trusting anyone else available. They didn’t say much on the quick trip up the stairs, leaving Merlin alone with his thoughts, reflecting on the noble knight, now reduced to being carried limp on a stretcher. It was going to be a long night.
Merlin stayed behind just a moment to help get Lancelot settled. Elyan stopped before exited, looking back on Merlin. He gave his assurance of help if anything was needed. Merlin was grateful; the knights were a band of brothers, and it was comforting to know he would have help.
Merlin got Lancelot settled on his bed, and then gave the knight a kiss on the forehead.
“I’ll be back, I promise,” he whispered to his love. He would have shed a tear at the thought of having to leave, but he felt as if he didn’t have any tears left in him.
Merlin scampered up to Arthur’s room. It was a mess, given that Merlin wasn’t around all day. The warlock groaned. There was no way he could finish all his chores by the time Arthur went to bed.
The least he could do was make Arthur’s bed and shine his boots. He had to make sure the king was presentable. Unfortunately for Merlin, the wear of the day started taking its toll. He fumbled even making the bed, dropping pillows and messing up the sheets. He was trying to work as quickly as he could to return to Lancelot, but in his haste and exhaustion he couldn’t do anything correctly.
Merlin felt as if he was going to scream when Arthur walked in. He was able to hold back most noise except for a little yelp. The king’s expression was fairly concerned and also a little afraid. Not his best moment.
“Merlin, what are you doing here?” Arthur demanded.
“…Cleaning you room?” Merlin managed to fumble out. He dropped Arthur’s boots as he spoke, tripping over his own feet. He felt embarrassment growing in him, starting from his stomach and overtaking every limb.
“Merlin,” Arthur took the few steps over to Merlin and picked up the fallen boots. He sounded his normal amount of disappointed, but something in his voice sounded a little bit softer. “Go take care of Lancelot.”
Merlin was about to make a slightly witty comment to serve as an attempt at banter, but his words died in his throat. “What?”
“He needs you more than my boots do. Go help him.”
“But they’re your boots.”
“I am aware.”
Merlin’s eyes squinted in disbelief. “But it’s my job to clean your boots. And I was out all day so your room is a mess.”
“Yes well…” Arthur flopped down in his chair, tossing the boots to the side. “You don’t have an excuse for this morning, but I understand about this afternoon. I know how close you are to him.”
Merlin felt a blush rising on his cheeks. “R-really?” Were his feelings for Lancelot truly that obvious? For some reason, knowing that Arthur knew made Merlin more than embarrassed. He folded his arms and curled in on himself.
“Yes, really.” Arthur pointed to the door with his pen. “Now go take care of him. I will have someone else take care of my room.
“Who?” Merlin squeaked.
“Gwen, of course.” Arthur smiled and gave a wink. “You’re not the only one who’s given their heart.”
Merlin huffed in place of a laugh, but he had the first genuine smile on his face since Lancelot was injured. Of course Arthur would. It was a great excuse to have Gwen in his chambers for a few hours. In fact, Merlin had the passing thought that Gwen was the one to offer to help clean Arthur’s chambers in the first place.
“Thank you, sire.”
Merlin missed Arthur’s concerned smile as he dashed to Lancelot’s chamber.
~
Merlin nearly flew up the stairs to Lancelot’s chamber. He was in such a rush to get beside Lancelot that he only heard the strange sound once stopped at the door. It wasn’t loud, but Merlin could tell it was coming from Lancelot’s room. It took him a few moments to register what the peculiar sound was. Unfortunately, that just led to more questions.
Why was there munching coming from the inside of Lancelot’s room?
About a hundred possible scenarios flew through Merlin’s head, from a beast in the room to Lancelot awake. Merlin could stand the suspense no longer. Granted, he had only stood by and listened for a few seconds.
Merlin pushed the door open and revealed that, as before, Lancelot was still unconscious in bed, lying perfectly still. Merlin’s disappointment was quickly overshadowed by the source of the munching sounds, now much louder.
“Gwaine? What are you doing here?” Merlin asked.
The knight in question was munching on an apple, while sitting by Lancelot’s bed. He was still in his chainmail, obviously having just come off of a patrol. He finished chewing before he talked, an almost casual air in his tone.
“Eating an apple.”
“Well, yes, I gathered. But why in Lancelot’s room?”
“Because apples are delicious.”
“That’s not an answer to my question.”
Gwaine smiled, taking another bite. He and Merlin were very close. They considered each other to be best friends, although recently they hadn’t been spending as much time together. Merlin had Lancelot, and apparently Percival had just confessed his crush on Gwaine; a crush that was welcomed and reciprocated. Every so often, however, Gwaine would appear in Merlin’s room and drag him on some sort adventure. No matter how annoyed Merlin looked, however, he always enjoyed his outings with Gwaine. It was just a little odd to see the man in Lancelot’s room. Merlin knew they were friendly like all the knights were, but not great friends or anything.
Gwaine smiled and stood up, walking toward Merlin. “Because you weren’t here. And someone’s gotta watch your boyfriend.”
Gwaine’s response took Merlin off guard. He expected another evasive answer or a playful tease, but he didn’t expect such a direct declaration. “I- uh, Lance and I…”
“Hey, no need to be bashful about it.” Gwaine had a huge grin on his face. “It’s pretty obvious to anyone who spends five seconds around you two.”
Merlin felt like he wanted to bury himself in a hole. Forever.
Thankfully, Lancelot’s door opened. Merlin spun around to seen Percival walk in with a basket of warm blankets. The huge man put the bundle down before scanning over the other two.
“I said the food was for Merlin!” Percival exclaimed.
Gwaine smiled as he took another bite. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist. Besides, I only took one apple.”
Percival made a small, annoyed, grunting noise, but didn’t argue with Gwaine. Instead, he turned his attention to Merlin. His expression softened and he leaned against the table. “We heard about what happened from Leon. I’m so sorry, Merlin.”
“He’s your friend too, Percival.”
“I know. That’s why I brought some extra supplies.” Percival indicated toward the food and the new blankets. “But he was attacked by bandits in front of you. That must be hard.”
Attacked by bandits. Right. A new wave of guilt washed over Merlin. “Y-yeah. Thanks so much.”
Gwaine clapped a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Try to get some sleep.”
“And if you need anything, our rooms are right across the hall.” Percival added.
Merlin thanked them and saw them out. He stumbled over to the chair by Lancelot’s bed and collapsed into it.
It was very kind of Percival to bring all the extra supplies. There was enough food for two meals, enough blankets to smother a person, enough firewood to last the night, and a huge jug of water. Merlin was thankful; he wasn’t in any state of mind to fetch anything useful. He didn’t know what he’d do without the other knights.
Merlin turned his attention to Lancelot. His sweet Lancelot, lying in the bed injured. Lancelot’s face had a little more color to it, thank heavens, but his breathing was shallow. Merlin let a few tears roll down his face as he stared into the closed eyes of the knight. He hated seeing Lancelot in this state. Lancelot was so full of life and love, and now he had none of that energy. And it was all Merlin’s fault.
Merlin knew that he would stay with Lancelot until the knight woke up. What worried him was after the fact. Would Lancelot remember? Would he think Merlin betrayed him? Would he ever forgive Merlin? Best-case scenario, they would stop being a couple. Merlin thought it would be easy enough to split in case something like this went wrong, but apparently everyone in the castle knew about their romantic intentions. It only made it worse; everyone would be asking what happened and why they broke up. Then Merlin would have to admit to everybody how badly he failed. He’d have to tell his secret.
Merlin’s sight started to blur. Tears came in full force, running down his face onto his clothes. He wasn’t ready to lose Lancelot, especially not like this. He was still madly in love with the knight. He wanted to spend every waking moment next to him. Everything Merlin did was for Camelot and Arthur, but, at the end of the day, it was all for Lancelot. He worked to see Lancelot be a knight. He worked so Lancelot had a warm room and a hot meal every night. He worked so he could be together with Lancelot. To Merlin, losing Lancelot meant losing everything.
Merlin must have cried well into the night. The fire burned out and the extra fuel forgotten. The food remained untouched. Merlin sat by Lancelot’s bedside and wept until exhaustion took hold, and Merlin fell asleep on top of Lancelot’s legs.
~
A sharp movement under Merlin woke the warlock. He blinked awake, dried tears still on his lashes. He tried to sit up; the movement under him was getting painful against his skull. It took him a few moments to register what was happening. The room was still dark. He didn’t even see the sun rising.
Merlin turned his head away from the window when he heard a small, weak grunt. His eyes widened as he saw Lancelot, his beautiful Lancelot, shift in bed, finally waking up. He looked like he was in pain, and Merlin could just make out Lancelot’s eyes blinking open, trying to focus.
The first sign of life made Merlin spring into action. He must have fallen asleep on Lancelot’s knees, which is why he felt the movement in the first place. Merlin lit some of the candles in the room, debating on whether to relight the fire. He should but it would take too much time. He rushed over and grabbed a cup of water, getting back to his spot next to Lancelot by the time the knight had finally adjusted to the new light.
“M-Merlin?”
“Shh,” Merlin soothed, “Here, drink this.” He brought the cup up to Lancelot’s lips, urging him to drink. Lancelot, probably still confused, took a few small sips, but weakly pushed Merlin away a few moments later.
“Merlin,” He said, his voice low, “Where am I?”
Merlin paused, staring down at Lancelot with a somber face. “You’re in your room. D-do… do you remember anything?”
Lancelot turned his head and stared at the wall, deep in thought. The seconds crept by. Merlin held his breath, waiting for an answer.
“…Yes. You saved me.”
All words died in Merlin’s throat. His emotions lodged themselves there and he couldn’t speak for a few seconds. “I… I hurt you Lancelot. I caused you all this pain.”
Lancelot shifted so he could sit up, causing Merlin to spring into action and help him readjust. Even in the midst his confusion, he would still help. “You saved me. If you hadn’t knocked out that bandit I would have been good as dead.”
Merlin couldn’t process what he was hearing. “Lancelot, I seriously hurt you.”
“But you came back to rescue me, did you not?”
“Y-yes, but-”
“Then you saved me.” Lancelot reached up to stroke Merlin’s cheek. Merlin tentatively leaned into it, his mind not believe Lancelot’s words, but so desperately wanting them to be true. Lancelot’s skin felt the same as always, soft and warm and oh so comforting. Tears Merlin didn’t know he had left dripped down his cheeks. Even after all that had happened, Lancelot still saw the best in the warlock. Emotion flooded him. Merlin closed his eyes and lost himself in the touch.
He had to be pulled out of his trance by Lancelot gently tugging Merlin closer to the bed.
“Why are you crying, my love?”
Merlin stumbled over his words, his confusion and guilt fighting each other as he tried to speak. “I h-hurt you s-so badly. W-Why aren’t you u-upset?”
Lancelot’s expression was solemn. He stared directly into Merlin’s eyes. Merlin felt the seriousness of Lancelot’s gaze wash over his skin. Merlin couldn’t tell what was running though the knight’s head, but he could sense the love and determination in the man’s eyes.
“Merlin. You didn’t mean to hurt me. You were going to attack the bandit. You were doing what was right, and I love you for it. Please, don’t blame yourself. I know you would never intentionally hurt me.”
The dam broke, and Merlin doubled over, sobbing onto Lancelot’s chest. He murmured “thank you’s” and “I love you’s” in-between his tears. A small part of him didn’t want to believe Lancelot, but he found so much comfort in the arms of his knight that the emotions that flooded him wanted to believe Lancelot’s words. The warm hands in his hair offered serenity Merlin never thought he would feel again. Lancelot loved him, and Merlin would offer his heart just as enthusiastically.
“I love you more than anything, Lancelot. More than Camelot itself.”
“And I love you, Merlin.” Lancelot cradled Merlin’s face in his hand, letting Merlin nuzzle the callused fingers. “Let’s go to bed. We’ve both had a long day.” Lancelot scooted in the bed to make a little room for Merlin. The bed was small, not like Arthur’s bed in the slightest, and could really only fit one person comfortably, unless one person slept on top of the other.
Merlin furrowed his brow at the motion. “Lancelot, you’re still hurt. I can’t cuddle with you the way we normally do.” Normally he would blush at the thought of pressing up against Lancelot like they do in their stolen moments late at night, but his concern for Lancelot overwhelmed him.
“Then you shall be my pillow instead.” Lancelot pat the empty spot on his bed. “Come on, you’ve had a taxi day just as I, probably even more so.”
Merlin wanted to protest, he really did, but the thought of being in a warm bed with an awake Lancelot was more appealing than anything right now. He cautiously moved into the bed, still careful of not jostling Lancelot too much.
It took a moment, but once Lancelot was on his chest, Merlin felt every muscle in his body relax. He ran his fingers through Lancelot’s hair as the knight looked up at him.
“…What happened to your flower?” Lancelot said after a few minutes of silence.
“My…?” Merlin thought back to what felt like ages ago. That’s right, he had just incanted a flower for Lancelot before they were attacked. “Oh, it must have fallen.”
“Hmm,” Lancelot hummed. He sounded a little disappointed. Merlin wouldn’t have that, and this, thankfully, he could fix.
There was a flash of gold in the quickly darkening room, and Lancelot could just barely make out the small daisy in front of him. Even in the dark, Merlin could see the huge smile on Lancelot’s face and his pure joy at seeing magic right before his eyes. It was a sight Merlin knew well, and would never tire of seeing.
The two fell asleep not long after, Merlin, now more at peace, and Lancelot, with a small daisy tucked behind his ear.