Archive of Our Own

Eddie Diaz was well aware of the stupid decisions he’d made in his life. 

There were his pre-Linda attempting to cook days, for one, when it wasn’t until the baked ziti he’d slaved over was in the oven barely even melting for over two hours before he realized that the recipe he’d found online had put the oven temperature in Celsius, not Fahrenheit. There was also the time he let Karen sweet-talk him into letting a dog named Hoover with separation anxiety into his home, which lead to multiple days of him and Christopher cleaning and fixing half of his home.

And, of course, maybe the biggest one yet being the Kim of it all. Eddie had done some serious soul-searching about that one in the sometimes-stifling confines of Frank’s office over the past few months, leading him to where he is today. In hindsight, there is some part of him that realized that, in some strange way, he should be thankful that it happened when it did. The shitshow led to Eddie finally coming to terms with Shannon’s death, the Catholic guilt living dormant inside of him, and the fact that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to be going around every day looking for a substitute mother for his son. 

Unsurprisingly to maybe everyone but Eddie himself, this had led to the Buck of it all. It was inevitable, really, given the amount of time’s Eddie managed to bring him up during his weekly therapy. That one required possibly even more soul-searching, and coming to terms with no, Eddie, you aren’t actually supposed to think about your best friend in that way. He was still coming to terms with the sexuality part of things and the idea that he may not be looking at women in the way any man with a straight bone in their body would look at them, but one thing was for certain:

He was deeply, irrevocably in love with Buck. 

And for some stupid reason, Tommy fucking Kinard was still in the picture.

It had taken a few long weeks and unyielding pressure from Frank for Eddie to finally figure out the reasoning behind why his quick-forming friendship with Tommy had flipped into a general sense of annoyance whenever he was around the second Buck had told him they were dating. He tried to insist time and time again that the pounding in the back of his head whenever he saw the two of them together wasn’t jealousy, but once he’d put a name to it, there was no denying the feeling. If anything, it’d gotten worse, if the tinny little voice whispering mineminemine every time the two of them so much as held hands. Thank God Tommy apparently “didn’t believe in PDA”, otherwise Eddie was pretty sure that little voice would deafen him.

Long story short, Eddie had done a lot of stupid shit. But none of those decisions even came close to walking into this bar.

He and the rest of the 118 crew had made plans to get together and celebrate the anniversary of Chimney joining the station. They tried to do something like this for all of their anniversaries, and unless it was a big year like their 10th, they never went too hard. It was just a fun tradition for the group of them that already spend way too much time together to hang out and let loose for a few hours, away from the stress of the job. Karen had graciously offered to let him drop Christopher over at their place to hang out with Denny since she had a massive product demonstration at work the next day and didn’t want to come out, and Eddie promised her he’d host their next wine night in return.

Eddie had been out running errands before the night commenced and had an awkward amount of time left once he’d finished before he was actually supposed to meet everyone at the bar, meaning there was no reason for him to actually go home, which is how he found himself parked on a barstool by his lonesome at their usual table, 20 or so minutes before his friends would actually arrive, sipping an ice-cold pint of Modelo and trying not to listen to the woman up on the karaoke stage butcher a very dramatic rendition of Wagon Wheel. 

He was about halfway through scrolling through the article Buck had sent him a few hours ago about the new Gem and Mineral exhibition at the LA Natural History Museum (the microscope can magnify an object like 830,000 times larger than its normal size eddie!!!! we gotta take chris next time we go and put something sick under it he’d lose his mind) when a dark purple acrylic tapped the side of his glass, causing him to stop reading mid-sentence and cast his gaze upward to whoever was trying to get his attention, eyebrows immediately furrowing in an almost subconscious motion when he saw who it was. 

“Taylor,” he greeted in a monotone, not shifting in his seat to offer so much as a wave to the woman standing before him.

“Eddie Diaz, in the flesh,” she replied back with the light tonality of making fun of someone she always seemed to use when she spoke to him. She moves her hand from where it was resting on the table to gesture at the seat directly across from him. “Mind if I sit?”

“Doesn’t seem like you’d take no for an answer.”

She simply shrugged before settling into the seat, her lips curled into the barely-there smirk that Eddie had convinced himself was her resting face.

“So. Taken to drinking alone on a Thursday night? Or did your date stand you up? That’s pretty sad, even for you, Diaz.”

Eddie didn’t even attempt to suppress his eyeroll, leaning against the backrest of the barstool and crossing his arms over his chest. “Fuck off, the team’s meeting for drinks. I’m just early.” He didn’t know why he felt like he needed to defend himself to Taylor Kelly of all people, but it’s not like he invited her over here to question him. Besides, she’s a damn shark; no reason for him to let her leave anything he says up to interpretation. 

Taylor just hummed in acknowledgement, the everlasting smirk slipping slightly off her lips as her gaze shifted downward, playing with the lime on the rim of her vodka soda.

“And how’s Buck doing?”

Her tone was softer at the question, and Eddie wasn’t surprised about it in the slightest. He and Buck had never gotten into the gritty details about their breakup, but Eddie knew what was going to happen when her Jonah story went live. Despite his dislike for the woman sitting before him, he knew there was no animosity behind her decision, but as someone on the receiving end of Buck’s trust, he knew how much it meant to him.

However, that didn’t mean he wanted to sit here and talk about her ex like he was one of her girlfriends at a sleepover. 

“Fine. Good. Better now that Bobby’s 100%.”

“And is he…seeing someone?”

There it is. The whole reason she stopped at the table in the first place. Eddie would rather shove his hand down the garbage disposal than talk about that.

“Uh, yeah. Boyfriend, I think officially for a month or so now.” The word tasted like stomach acid in his mouth, and he quickly reached for his drink to mask it. 

“Boyfriend?” Her eyebrows raised a bit, and if Eddie thought she was capable of any human emotion other than calculating, he’d think she was genuinely surprised. He just nodded as he sipped his beer.

“And it’s not you?”

The shock immediately caused Eddie’s eyes to widen as the beer that was still in his mouth spat out into the glass, starting to violently cough on the remainder as he tried to set the glass back down on the table and not cause too much of a scene. Taylor just stared at him during the whole ordeal, that stupid mischievous glint back in her eyes. 

Once Eddie managed to compose himself, he just stared right back at her, the glare he’s been told on multiple occasions to always have when looking at her intensifying. “That’s not…I…pardon? What the hell makes you think that?”

The glint never left Taylor’s eyes as she just shrugged, innocently sipping her drink through the tiny straw. “You’ve basically hated me since the day we met, and it’s not like it got any better when Buck and I started dating. Not like the feeling wasn’t mutual, but still. Could never figure out if it was just that, or if you were jealous.”

“Two things can be true at once,” Eddie grumbled before his brain could catch up to his mouth, immediately cursing under his breath when he realized what he just admitted to. Stupid Frank and his trying to make Eddie more honest with his feelings bullshit. Taylor’s smirk only grew wider, leaning forward and looking at him like this is the juiciest secret she’d received in years. Which, if you think about it, it kind of was. Eddie was nowhere near comfortable enough with his sexuality as a whole to have a big coming out to the team yet, and even if he had, he definitely wouldn’t let the Buck portion slip. Not only because of Tommy, but because of how dearly Eddie valued both his friendship with Buck and his relationship with Christopher. He had zero intention to ruin either one of those relationships with a stupid crush. 

“Wow, and this whole time I thought I was just being a crazy girlfriend. How long have you known? Does he know?”

“Not long, and no. None of it, nobody knows, except apparently you now, and I would appreciate it if it stayed that way. Why am I even telling you this? I don’t like you. You’re not supposed to know this. Nobody is supposed to know this. You can’t tell anybody. Seriously. Buck can’t know. He has fucking Tommy. Goddammit.” Eddie continued to ramble before dramatically dropping his forehead down on the tabletop with a thump. He’s barely had half a beer. God, he really needs to get it together. 

Taylor stayed silent for a moment, and Eddie could practically hear the gears in her head turning after his little word-vomit. 

“Wait, Tommy like the helicopter cruise guy? That one?” she sounded almost incredulous. Eddie wasn’t exactly capable of nodding with his head down on the table, and he refused to open his mouth for the time being lest another string of incriminating words came out, so he just let out a grunt that he hoped sounded vaguely like a ‘yes’.

“Wow, y’know I looked into him after all that went down just in case I had to interview one of you guys. He used to be 118, right, with that old racist captain or whatever? Didn’t he kinda suck, or was I just reading into that?” Eddie’s ears perked up, as he slowly lifted his head off of the table. Now this was a conversation he was more inclined to have.

“Yeah, he really sucked. Royally. Wasn’t here when Buck nor I started, but both Hen and Chim have told me about it. Apparently they’re ‘amicable’ now so they haven’t really told Buck, and he stopped being a racist misogynistic shit when he left and ‘found himself’ or whatever, but still. He calls him Evan, for fucks sake. He woulda made you look like a saint.”

Taylor flipped him the bird at the dig, but still had that calculating look in her eye. Eddie did not like that look. He really needs to shut up now and stop telling her things, God only knows the ways she could use it against him. He supposed it was a lot easier for him to get this stuff off his chest since she was no longer so heavily involved in the lives of himself and his loved ones, especially Buck. That didn’t mean he trusted her, though. As far as Eddie could tell, she only ever did anything to benefit herself, and while he didn’t exactly know how any of this conversation could somehow benefit Taylor Kelly, he really didn’t want to find out. There was a stretch of mildly uncomfortable silence, with Taylor just staring at the drink in her hands, eyebrows furrowed like it was the most interesting thing in the world; Eddie was about ready to tell her to leave when the dam broke. 

“So, you want this Tommy guy out of the picture and Buck all to yourself, right?”

Eddie just stared at her in confusion, not knowing nor liking at all where this could possibly be going. “I hope you know that if you’re about to plan a murder in front of me, I will turn you in with zero hesitation.” 

Taylor just scoffed at his comment, waving him off. “Jesus Diaz, you’re dumber than you look. No, the easiest way to do it would be to make him jealous.”

“And how exactly do you expect me to do that? I’m not about to hop on Grindr and show up with some boyfriend at the next barbeque.”

“You don’t get on Grindr for a boyfriend, my God you’re an insult to gay people everywhere. My gay ass is horrified by your lack of knowledge.”

Eddie didn’t have the time nor the care to unpack all of that.

“Fine, if you know everything, then what are you insinuating I do here?”

“Easy. Date me.”

All of the air left Eddie’s lungs. If he was drinking, he would’ve managed to spit it out and choke on it for the second time in the span of ten minutes. He was pretty sure he was looking at her like she just told him to have sex with an elephant. Taylor just continued on like she hadn’t said the most insane sentence to ever make its way into the world. 

“Think about it! There is nothing on earth that would rile him up more, and you’d have his attention like no other. Once he sees us together, he won’t be able to stop thinking about it. It’d make him realize that he wants you all to himself.” Again, she said it so casually like she was just telling him that the sky was blue. Eddie still didn’t trust it.

“And what exactly makes you so sure that he ‘wants me all to himself’? He dated you for like a year, his taste is clearly misguided.”

“If his taste is so awful, he’ll want you more than anything. Besides, like you said, I dated him for a year. I’m a journalist, I notice things.”

Eddie immediately wanted to dive into what exactly she meant by that, but the timing couldn’t have been worse, as the front door swung open and he saw no other than Buck and Hen start to meander into the bar, clearly looking for him. Taylor must’ve noticed too, because she threw back the rest of her drink and stood up from her stool, pushing her hair behind her shoulder.

“Just think about it, Diaz. You know I’m right about this. What’s the worst that can happen?”

And with that, she put her empty glass on the bar and made her way out, pointedly not looking at Buck as they walked past one another. Buck made a confused look when he realized her presence, moving forward to take the seat she was just at across from Eddie while Hen sat down next to him, her look even more pointed and questioning.

“Why were you sitting with Taylor? Actually, no, how were you sitting with Taylor and neither of you threw your drink at each other?” He asked, eyebrows still furrowed with confusion. Eddie wanted to kiss that little crease until it relaxed.

Jesus, Diaz, get it together.

Eddie shrugged as nonchalantly as possible, leaning back slightly in his seat once again. “She just showed up while I was waiting for you guys. Didn’t want to be rude or anything so we just caught up for a sec,” he replied, trying desperately to make his tone as casual as possible. 

Buck’s confused eyebrows stayed for a moment, still eyeing Eddie like he was trying to get something out of him. Normally it worked. Scratch that, it worked pretty much every time. It was almost impossible for him to lie to Buck. But Eddie held his ground and didn’t falter, and after a few seconds Buck seemed marginally satisfied with his answer, and let it go. 

“Huh. Weird. Anyway, Maddie and Chim should be here soon, and she tasked me with coming up with the perfect karaoke song for us to sing him really badly in his honor. We gotta brainstorm before they get here, this shit is important. Also, Tommy said he might try to stop by if we’re still here when he’s done at harbor in a couple hours, he said it wouldn’t be for very long ‘cause he’ll be tired but I don’t think that’ll be an issue, right?”

As much as Eddie loved to listen to Buck ramble on about literally any topic, he’d had enough Tommy talk for one night. He reached over to gulp down the remnants of his first beer, holding onto the empty glass and standing up.

“I need another, so first round’s on me. We starting with the usuals?” Buck and Hen both nodded with a “thank you” before immediately getting cracking on picking their song for Chimney. Eddie rolled his eyes fondly at their dedication, before heading up to the bar to order. 

As he stood there waiting for the bartender to make their drinks, Eddie hesitated for a moment before fishing his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his contacts until he found the one he’d never actually used until this moment.

Demon Kelly 

Fuck it. Let’s do it.

“We need to figure out our cover story.”

By the time Eddie made it home from the bar the night the plan was made, Taylor had replied to him with the address of a coffee shop downtown and a date and time that they both had off. How she still knew the schedule of the A-shift so well, she refused to tell, but Eddie just went along with it. The less questions asked, the better. He was already going to have to spend way more time with her than he ever thought to be humanly possible without the “Buck’s girlfriend” buffer and was adamant on limiting his suffering for as long as possible.

He had barely gotten his to-go iced americano to his lips when she said this, ever the journalist and going so far as to bring her iPad to take notes. Eddie didn’t even try to hide his eyeroll at the sight, but she just kept tapping away like he wasn’t across the table from her. 

“Does there really need to be a cover story? Saw each other at the bar the other night, reconnected, yadda yadda.”

Taylor stopped her typing momentarily to shoot a glare up at him, before setting the iPad down on the table with a huff. Jesus, if they were already this exasperated at one another after a five-minute coffee date, there was no way in hell they were going to pull this off. 

“Think about it. You and the rest of those guys are so codependent and intertwined with one another’s lives, you share everything. It’s nauseating.” Harsh, but unfortunately fair. “If we don’t come up with something air-tight, they’re going to see right through us, and that’ll defeat the entire purpose of this whole thing.” Eddie, as hard as he tried, could not argue. And he sure as hell tried. 

“Fine, what’ve you got? Try to keep it realistic, this isn’t one of your op-eds.” Taylor just rolled her eyes as she finished what she was typing, muttering something about “newscaster integrity” under her breath as Eddie sipped his drink. Finally, she was done. 

“Okay. Those guys seeing us at the bar last night actually works out, because it gives us a solid meeting point. We’ll say that I pushed back all my pride and dignity afterwards and texted you asking to meet up. Because your spine is nothing but jello, you agreed, and fell victim to my never-ending charm and swoon-worthy looks. We’re vibing it out, testing the waters and toeing the line of love and hate. Casual, but monogamous. Good enough for you?”

Eddie was pretty sure if he rolled his eyes any harder, they’d fall out of his skull. “Fine, but when they ask, I’m telling them you begged me to take you out.”

“I thought you wanted to keep this believable.”

“It’s my word against yours, and last I checked, they like me better.”

“Fine, then I’m telling Buck you’re a bad kisser.”

“Not believable, I had a wife. Besides, I thought this whole plan was to help me? Why’d you come up with this anyway, what’s in it for you?” Eddie had to admit, the question had been itching at him since he’d gotten home from the bar that night. It’s not like she had any reason to play Eddie’s beard, for lack of a better word, try to break up Buck and Tommy unless this whole thing was a ploy to get back to Buck. Eddie had definitely mulled that one over for a while—he didn’t trust her any farther than he could throw her—but after their conversation that night, it really didn’t make sense. 

Taylor didn’t seem phased by the interrogation, though. “From the little research I did on that Tommy guy and what you said, I’m not the biggest fan. And believe it or not, I do actually have a soul and want what’s best for Buck. I figured out I was into women not long after the breakup, and it’s not like any of your team know anything about that, so I knew it could work.” She shrugged, pausing to sip her latte. “Plus, the drama that will come out of this? Reality TV level. I couldn’t pay enough to witness it, much less be smack in the middle.”

Eddie just snorts, rolling his eyes. Before he could fire back a comeback about how he and his friends are not that dramatic, thank you very much, the front door behind him jingled open and Taylor’s eyes lit up, grinning wickedly and inherently putting Eddie in fight or flight mode. He turned around in his seat to try to figure out what the hell was going on, and to his mild horror, saw Chimney and Maddie herding little Jee-Yun into the café. They were luckily too preoccupied with their energetic toddler to notice the two of them, but that wouldn’t last long. He spun back around, staring at Taylor with wide eyes. 

“Taylor. What. The. Fuck,” he whispered aggressively, intentionally not taking the time to realize this did nothing to help his case about not being dramatic. In his defense, he was not ready for this to start, not in the slightest.

“They come in here all the time, I had to stop coming here not long after the breakup because it kept leading to super awkward run ins,” she whispered back, fluffing out her hair and adjusting her posture.

“And you didn’t think to tell me this, why?”

“One, this is so much funnier, and two, you would’ve just said no and left.”

“You do realize Chimney is incapable of hiding anything, right? Buck will know before I make it to work tomorrow.”

“Duh, that’s the point. Put your hand on the table.”

“What?”

“Diaz, put your fucking hand on the table, stop looking at me like you want to strangle me, and sell this thing.”

Eddie begrudgingly put his hand face down on the table with a bit more force than necessary, doing his best to subside his glare and trying to look engrossed in conversation with the woman in front of him. Taylor put her hand on top of his in classic first-date fashion, changing her expression shockingly quickly to look like she was genuinely enjoying herself. Eddie heard footsteps walk beside him, then halt. Praying he was putting on a good show, he looked up, feigning surprise when he saw Chimney and Maddie staring at them. Neither one of them were doing a good job at concealing the look of shock on their faces, and Chimney looked a bit like he was going to vomit. 

“Maddie, Chim! What’re you doing down here?”

“…we could ask you the same thing,” Chimney finally got out after a moment’s pause, eyes flitting back and forth between the two at the table like he was watching a riveting game of tennis. Eddie felt like he was on the verge of passing out. “Taylor, it’s been a while,” he all but choked out in greeting eventually. Maddie just gave her a curt wave, using her other hand to keep her daughter in place. The awkward tension in the room could be cut with a knife, and Eddie was convinced they’d upped the heat. He really needed to get it together, and quick; if he was barely holding his own in front of Chim and Maddie, God only knows how this all would play out with Buck.

“So…what’re you two up to?” Maddie asked, voice half an octave too high but finally breaking the awkward silence between the four. Taylor opened her mouth to speak, but Eddie cut her off before she could.

“Oh, well after running into Taylor the other night at the bar, she texted me a few times asking to get coffee,” he began, pausing when he felt her acrylics dig into the skin on his hand and doing his best not to wince. “So, I eventually said yes, and now we’re just…catching up,” he finished, hoping his vagueness was doing its job in making it seem like they were caught in the act. There was a bead of sweat at his hairline just begging to comically run down the side of his face, but he kept his expression as neutral as possible. To her credit, Taylor was keeping up with her polite smile at the other end of the table.

Maddie and Chimney shared a look for what felt like an eternity, before eventually turning their eyes back to the two of them. “Well, we’d love to stay and chat, but we gotta get this one to the park. See you soon, Eddie. Taylor,” Maddie finished with a nod, giving Eddie a wave before steering herself and Jee towards the counter to place their order. Chimney held back for a moment, giving Eddie a look that screamed I will be asking about this later before steering on his heel to follow his wife. 

Eddie breathed out a sigh of relief, wiping at his forehead with the back of his free hand when they were out of hearing distance. The polite smile on Taylor’s lips fell almost immediately, and she pinched Eddie’s hand with her nails once again.

“Ow, the hell was that for?”

“You are genuinely such a terrible actor. I’m praying you’re not vying for an Oscar nod anytime soon.”

“Like I wasn’t the one that had to do all the talking! You caught me off guard, what was I supposed to do?”

“Oh please, like you didn’t steamroll the hell out of me. Couldn’t even get a word in.”

“Like I was going to let you defame me with whatever bullshit reason you had up your sleeve. I’m gonna need a little more time to prepare next time.”

“I’m impressed, you were able to find something we can actually agree on.”

Eddie was pretty sure he’d had less immature arguments with his sisters growing up, but luckily they were able to keep going back and forth out of earshot of Maddie and Chim until they were gone. The second they were out the door, Eddie pulled his hand away from Taylor’s like it was burning him, examining the nail marks still red on his skin. 

“I’m telling Buck you trapped me in an abusive relationship.”

Taylor just rolled her eyes, downing the rest of her coffee and standing up. “Yeah yeah, go cry to your boyfriend. I’m going to work, let me know his reaction when you see him, and we’ll plan from there. And for the love of God, google an acting tutorial or something. At the very least, stop berating him with heart-eyes when I’m around; it’s embarrassing, Diaz.” Eddie spluttered out a protest, but she just grabbed her bags and walked out.

As she stepped out the door, Eddie leaned back in his seat, staring up at the ceiling and groaning as loud as publicly acceptable. This was going to be a long ordeal. 

Buck did, in fact, find out before they got the chance to go into their shift the next morning. Eddie knew this because, the evening after him and Taylor’s “date”, Eddie was trying to get his ancient dryer to hurry up with the last-minute load of laundry he’d thrown in and Chris was in his room shouting through his headset at some video game when he heard the familiar sound of his front door being unlocked. To Buck’s credit, at least, he’d managed to make it a solid 8 hours since the run in with Maddie and Chimney.

Eddie kicked the clunking dryer one last time for good measure before heading out of the laundry room to the front of the house, where Buck was kicking off his shoes and putting his keys down on the table by the door, a sight so common and domestic it had Eddie mentally screaming. This was not the time for gay panic, he had to put his game face on. 

“Hey, man. Sorry, had no idea you were coming, or I’d have saved another beer. I’m sure I have something around here though…” he trailed off, gesturing towards the kitchen.

Buck just waved off the offer for a drink, heading into the living room and stopping in his tracks instead of plopping down on the couch like he usually would. He turned to face Eddie again, absentmindedly cracking his knuckles, expression unreadable. That was not something Eddie was accustomed to, and also not something he liked very much. He prided himself on knowing, generally speaking, what his best friend was thinking or feeling most of the time. After all, Buck was the same way with him, even in times that Eddie tried his goddam hardest to be unreadable. Buck was always able to shake it out of him and read him.

The weighted silence in the living room sat on their shoulders for a moment too long, only breaking at the muffled sound of Christopher shouting “Die, you zombie fuck!” at his game through the closed door. Eddie began to make a mental note to tell his son to cool it with the language when people could actually hear him when Buck finally broke the silence.

“Is Chim trying to fuck with me or were you actually on a date with Taylor?”

There it was, the make-or-break moment. Eddie could be the mature adult he allegedly is and come clean about the whole thing, ending it before it even started. Unfortunately, confessing that would inevitably lead to a questioning, and while he may be able to keep up this bit, he didn’t think he was capable of lying to Buck about the reasoning. That meant a whole other slew of confessions that Eddie wasn’t comfortable making right this very moment, put on the spot. He sheepishly ran a hand through his hair, still slightly damp from his shower earlier and flopping over his forehead. 

“I don’t know if I’d call it a ‘date’, per-say. She texted me a few times after the bar the other night asking to get coffee, and I felt bad, so I said yes. It actually went well, shockingly. We have more in common than I thought,” he said with a shrug, pleading to God and everything else he could think of that his facial expressions weren’t blowing his cover right now. Or, as Taylor so kindly referred to it as, his ‘heart eyes’. Buck just nodded slowly; Eddie could practically feel the gears in his head turning in his own bones. “Is that…weird for you?”

Buck was biting his lip at his point in concentration, gears still turning. Eddie kind of wished he was the one biting Buck’s lip instead. God, did he always have such a hot concentration face? Eddie wondered what other things he could get him to concentrate on—nope. None of that. That’s how the heart eyes come out. Not the time. Luckily, Buck finally spoke up, saving Eddie from the trials and turbulations that are his own stream of consciousness.

“I mean not really, no. I’m not uncomfortable with it or anything, just because it didn’t work out between me and her doesn’t mean it can’t for you guys. I’m just really, really surprised. That’s all. I thought you guys wanted to strangle each other, like, the entire time we were together.”

Eddie let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Buck said he wasn’t uncomfortable, and it seemed like he meant it. If Eddie had any inclination from Buck that this was a genuinely bad thing, he’d call the entire ploy off immediately. He’d say he decided he didn’t want to go out with her again, tell Taylor the whole thing was over, and find another way for Buck to know his feelings without actually telling him. Or just wallow in self-pity over what could’ve been for the rest of his life, whichever came first. He lowered himself down onto his couch, watching as Buck did the same, the slightly awkward tension in the room dissipating. 

“Ok good, I’m glad. You know I wouldn’t do this if you were uncomfortable. But yeah, it was…it was good.” Saying all these nice things about Taylor made Eddie kind of want to rip his own tongue out, but he powered through. “She mentioned wanting to do it again, and I’m thinking about saying yes. That okay with you?”

Buck had put his feet up on the coffee table by this point, lounging on the couch and clearly much more comfortable than he was when he first showed up at Eddie’s house. “Of course, dude. If that’s what you want, then by all means. You guys really aren’t trying to strangle each other still?”

Eddie laughed, crossing his leg under himself and getting more comfortable in his seat as well, pointedly ignoring the way his knee rested against Buck’s thigh. “Nah, it’s been chill so far. We’ll see how the next one goes, I guess. Who knows, maybe there’s even a double date with you and Tommy in the future.” Again, with the wanting to rip his tongue out. Eddie didn’t think he’d actually be physically capable of getting through 15 minutes with the love of his life and the two people he couldn’t stand the most, much less an entire date night. 

Buck chuckled at that, but there was a stiffness to it. “Yeah, yeah, maybe,” he replied, immediately brushing off the subject. Eddie definitely noticed that, and was screaming at himself to ask about it, but with the way Buck was cracking knuckles again, he knew better than to pry it out of him. He knew from experience that, if Buck wanted to talk about something, he would. And this did not seem like one of those instances, so Eddie let it be. For now.

Clearing his throat, Eddie changed the subject. “It’s not too late, yet. I bet I could bribe Chris to get off his game for a couple hours and watch a movie with us if it’s something unnecessarily violent and gory,” he offered with a grin, his body warming all over when Buck’s eyes light up at the idea. 

“Deal. Do you still have that microwave popcorn I bought last month? I wanna see how many I can throw into his mouth this time, last week we got 14 in a row, and it was awesome,” Buck rambled, immediately hopping up off the couch to go scavenge through Eddie’s kitchen. The kitchen that he was pretty sure Buck knew better than Eddie himself. Doing his best not to let his thoughts wander, Eddie hoisted himself up off the couch to go pull his son off of the game.

And if, in the middle of that night when Eddie slinked quietly out of his room to get a glass of water, he stared down at Buck passed out on his couch for a moment too long, a feeling of pride settled nicely in his stomach at the fact that he was on Eddie’s couch, not with Tommy, then that was between him and God. 

A few weeks had gone by since the original fake dating plan was put into action, and even Eddie had to admit, it was going pretty well. Mainly because he and Taylor hadn’t actually had a chance to see each other in person since the coffee “date” because their schedules never aligned. That, and, if Eddie didn’t have to see her, he sure as hell wasn’t going out of his way to schedule another run-in. He had decided to just spew off some casual bullshit whenever Buck asked about it, mentioning a date or two, begrudgingly texting Taylor if he said something he thought she should be aware of for the sake of the ruse and getting left on read every time, and even complimenting her looks. It took him a few attempts, but he was eventually able to do the latter without wanting to gag for half an hour afterwards. Point is, it should’ve been easy.

Problem was, Buck was asking questions. A lot of them. 

It was always semi-casual, either finding a way to bring her up in relation to a conversation they were having, or just straight up asking about her when there was a lull in conversation. If Eddie hadn’t known any better, he’d begin to think that Buck was trying to catch him slipping. It had gotten to a point where, after yet another ‘casual’ questioning, Hen had teasingly asked Buck if he was “writing Eddie a biography of his new relationship”, which had Buck immediately shut up and blushing, while Eddie just sputtered out clarification that they were not, in fact, in a relationship, but just “seeing how things would go”.

That was a top-ten awkward call. Eddie was pretty sure the man who’s leg they were pulling the fallen grill off of was watching them like they were a new episode of The Real Housewives. 

Eddie, for one, had no idea really how to handle this line of questioning. He’d gotten the same thing near the end of his relationship with Ana, sure, but that was only because of the panic attack that Eddie eventually learned maybe wasn’t just because of the role he was trying to fill in Christopher’s life, but also because of her gender as a whole. Either way, he’d definitely never gotten it at this level at the beginning of a potential relationship. He just kept telling himself that it was because of Buck’s past with Taylor and did his best to leave it at that. 

It was a regular Thursday afternoon at the firehouse, three hours into an extremely slow twenty-four that had Eddie sprawled on the couch with a sci-fi novel Buck and Christopher had been begging him to read for months. There were times when shifts like these had him itching under his skin with half a mind to bust out the q-word (not that he believed in the curse, of course, but the subsequent freak-out from his friends would at least be entertaining), but today, for once, the relaxing atmosphere was actually almost peaceful. Start-of-shift chores were done in record time. Hen, Chim and Ravi were playing a complicated version of spoons at the kitchen table that led to a lot of cursing and attempts at table flipping, mainly from Chim. Bobby was cleaning out the kitchen and inventorying their spice cabinet with plans to try out a new pulled pork recipe that was, in his words, “going to blow your socks off so hard the 133 was going to find them in their engine”. And Buck was sprawled on the other end of the couch, one leg on the coffee table and the other draped across Eddie’s lap, scrolling on IMDB because he was periodically getting texts of screenshots of potential movies to watch on their next movie night in their groupchat with Christopher. And no, Eddie was not letting that act of domestic closeness crowd his brain and fill it with thoughts that he couldn’t bear to say out loud, absolutely not.

It was calm, it was pleasant, it was family. Eddie should’ve known from past experiences of the past six or so years that the peacefulness would never last. 

Eddie didn’t even register the sound of heels clicking on the linoleum floor below them until they got louder on their ascent up the stairs. It seemed like no one else had noticed the noise, too wrapped up in whatever they were doing, so Eddie peered over the railing as stealthily as he could. Noticing a flash of red hair, it was like all the blood had drained from his body. Goddammit, she didn’t even have the decency to send him a warning text, though it’s not like Eddie expected anything less. Typical Taylor Kelly, coming in for the bite when he finally let his guard down.

“Hey guys!” she greeted cheerfully when she reached the top of the stairs, waving at the loft with her free hand while the other balanced a pastry box of some sort and two iced coffees, that stupid innocent smile on her face. 

The entire team stilled at the sound of her voice, all but whipping their heads toward the intrusion. Bobby’s eyebrows furrowed, both Hen and Chim’s mouths were slightly agape, and Ravi just looked between them in obvious confusion. Worst of all, though, was Buck visibly tensing, pulling his leg off of Eddie’s lap like he’d been caught doing something wrong and sitting up a bit straighter. Eddie mourned the physicality, his lap already cold from the loss of touch. 

“H-hey, Taylor. What’re you doing here?” he asked, doing his best to sound happy to see her and put on a smile that he was sure looked half like a wince. He was luckily he’d already managed to solidify himself as a guy who didn’t like any level of PDA (unless it was platonically with his best friend, apparently), which gave him some level of a barrier.

“Oh, nothing much, just had some time before work and wanted to bring my guy a pick-me-up.”

Ever the actress, Taylor just continued making her way over to him on the couch, handing him the coffee—not his normal iced americano, he could tell that much from the clear plastic cup—and sitting down on the arm of the couch next to his shoulder. She put the box down on his lap where Buck’s leg was just a minute ago, which Eddie could now see was donuts, and put her hand casually on his shoulder, before leaning down to peck him on the side of the forehead.

Eddie was pretty sure there was a lipstick mark on his face now. He wanted to scrub at it until his skin turned red and raw. He wanted to shrug her manicured hand off of his shoulder, and then maybe push her off the arm of the couch for good measure—lightly, of course. He wasn’t a monster. Eddie was a weak man, though, and all he could do was look at Buck across from him. 

Buck, who was looking at them with one of the pointed stares he’d ever seen directed at himself. Buck, who was stiff as a board on the other side of the couch. Buck, who was giving her a stare down so fiery Eddie could feel his own face heating up. Shit, did Eddie royally misjudge how bad their breakup was? There was no way. Buck had asked way too many questioned and reassured him way too many times for that to be the case. So why the hell was he looking at Taylor like he was trying to use the force to explode her head.

Was the plan actually working?

No, that’s impossible. Eddie couldn’t bring himself to have that kind of hope. Besides, he was still with fucking Tommy…well, at least Eddie thought so. Granted, he hadn’t really asked. He was already pretending to like one person; he couldn’t bring himself to force it twice at the same time. But Buck would’ve told him if they ended things, right?

Right?

Snapping himself out of it when he realized Taylor was looking at him expectantly—so were Hen and Chim, but Eddie pointedly chose to ignore that—Eddie craned his neck up to smile at her with as much affection as he could muster. 

“Wow, thank you, this is such a great surprise. I’ll have to think of a good way to repay you,” he said in the flirtiest tone he could muster, which granted wasn’t much, and took a sip of the coffee for good measure. He held back a wince at the ridiculously sugary sweetness, and was that caramel? What an asshole, everybody knows that Eddie is either cinnamon or nothing at all. 

Unless it was Buck’s caramel cookies. Those were like crack. Not important. 

Eddie reached up to squeeze the hand on his shoulder in thank-you as Taylor stood up. She squeezed back, and Eddie definitely felt a knuckle or two crack. She let go, letting her hand rest on his shoulder for an elongated moment before letting go and readjusting her skirt. Eddie made a mental note to burn his uniform shirt. 

“Well, unfortunately I can’t stay, duty calls. See you soon, Eddie. Bye, everyone,” she waved goodbye as she made her way out, innocent smile still stuck on her face, but Eddie caught her muttering something about “nosy bastards” under her breath as she walked away. Eddie just waved back, watching her leave and pointedly ignoring the stares burning a hole into his skull from all of his friends. 

There was a minute of silence until she was surely out the door, everyone’s eyes still on him. That is, until Buck abruptly stood up, wiping his hands on his pants. “I gotta, um, inventory the truck. Engine, sorry Cap,” he blurted, before walking almost robotically down the stairs. The rest of them stayed silent, hearing the familiar sound of the engine door opening a little more forcefully than necessary and inventory papers being loudly shuffled around. Bobby just sighed, exasperated, running a hand over his face and looking over at the kitchen table. 

“Chimney, Ravi, go help out before he goes haywire with the clipboard. Or breaks something.”

The two got up from the table and rushed downstairs, the confusion still evident on Ravi’s face while Chim just looked like he was itching for as much information out of Buck as possible that he knew damn well he wasn’t going to get. Eddie put the stupid box of donuts on the coffee table, along with the drink he was only able to muster a single sip out of. He’d make sure to toss it later when no one was looking. 

While Bobby got back to his kitchen clean-up, Hen put the cards and spoons back where they belonged before making her way towards Eddie. She pushed his legs off of the couch where they’d been laying to make room for herself, sitting down and staring at him until he finally made eye contact with her.

“What?” Eddie asked, his heart starting to beat uncomfortably fast. She just continued giving him that damn look, before smacking him on the arm.

“Do you really think I’m that dumb, Edmundo?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Hen just rolled her eyes, continuing to stare Eddie down. “Seriously. The girl you’re allegedly dating shows up unannounced, and you probably spent twice the amount of time staring at Buck than you did looking at her.”

Goddammit. Busted. Eddie should’ve known better; Hen clocked almost everything, why did he possibly think this wouldn’t be included? He really should’ve looked into those acting tutorials.

Hen just continued, but her voice softened a bit. “I’ve seen the way you look at him, Eddie. Long before this. What are you trying to do here?”

Well, no escaping the gay part anymore. Realizing there was no way in hell he was getting out of this one, Eddie just groaned, leaning his head back off the arm of the couch and tossing his arm over his face. “I think I love him, Hen. Like big time, live in my house forever kind of love. But he’s with fucking Tommy,” he ranted, voice partially muffled by his own arm.

“Why don’t you just tell him? Don’t get me wrong, that was all incredibly entertaining, and I’d die to watch the trainwreck again, but why?” she questioned, the softness in her voice making way for a light tone of amusement. 

Eddie just shrugged dramatically, finally removing his arm from his face and craning his neck off of the arm of the couch to look at her. “Didn’t you hear me? He’s with Tommy. I can’t just walk up to him and announce my undying feelings or whatever. That’s a dick move,” he replied, like it was the most logical explanation in the world. Hen, on the other hand, clearly did not feel that way, and cocked her eyebrow at him.

“So you’re just going out of your way to pretend to date his ex-girlfriend that you’ve all but plotted murder against to, what, make him jealous? Very sitcom of you.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, throwing a pillow at her face that she just dodged, letting it thump to the floor. “Well when you say it like that, I sound like a dipshit. I’m just…potentially guiding him in this direction. That’s all.”

It was Hen’s turn to roll her eyes, but her face showed clear signs of amusement. “Whatever you say. I, for one, give you a week before this crashes and burns,” she replied, before getting up off the couch to let Eddie wallow. By this point, he could hear Buck downstairs, bossing Chimney around with the clear sound of a pen smacking a plastic clipboard. Hen just grimaced, shaking her head and muttering something about “the damn gays” before walking downstairs in an attempt to play damage control. Eddie just sighed to himself, wiping at his face with his hand before pulling out his phone once more. 

Demon Kelly

Seriously, did you put like ten packets of sugar in that thing?
I might vomit.
This feels like attempted murder.

* Venmo Request - $15 – “Bait” *

Eddie made it two weeks before the eventual crash and burn, thank you very much.

Bobby and Athena had announced that they were finally done with their new home and wanted to have everyone over for a little housewarming. Honestly, Eddie hadn’t even considered bringing Taylor for the sake of the ruse; they were still adamant about the whole ‘casual’ thing, and in his opinion, it wouldn’t really make sense. But Buck wouldn’t shut up about it, and Eddie didn’t get it. The last time he saw him and Taylor together he about tore the fire engine door off of its hinges, and now he wants Eddie to bring her? Either that, or he was hoping for a different reason behind Eddie’s no. It just didn’t make sense. Eventually Hen and Chim caught wind of the badgering and teasing, joined in, and Eddie couldn’t take it anymore.

Which is how he found himself in Bobby and Athena’s brand-new backyard the Saturday after Thanksgiving, hand in hand with Taylor amongst his closest friends.

It was…a bit awkward at first, to say the least. He was pretty sure Taylor was actively trying to break his fingers one by one with the way she was squeezing his hand, and was definitely sure at least two knuckles had popped within fifteen minutes of them being there. At one point, Hen caught them bickering like children that knew way too many colorful insults in the kitchen over who got the last drumstick from the fried chicken Bobby made. Eddie was positive she’d overheard him telling Taylor she had “defamed enough firefighters in your lifetime, the least you could do is give up the goddamn piece of meat.” Taylor had begun to fire back with something about how the real meat that Eddie wanted in the house when Hen just walked out cackling, leaving her to glare while Eddie just shrugged, stealing back the drumstick, and biting into it triumphantly.

Buck, meanwhile, was pretty much only talking to Eddie when Taylor was away. And by that, he would be attached at his hip the second she so much as went to set her plate down and was gone in a flash by the time she was within five feet again. Just like when Bobby announced the get-together, it didn’t make any sense. On top of trying to keep everything up with Taylor, he was trying to figure out why exactly Tommy wasn’t there by Buck’s side. Sure, he could’ve just been working, but every time Eddie tried to bring it up, Buck just changed the subject. He didn’t get it. 

By early evening, all the adults were sitting around the firepit with their drinks. Taylor was sitting next to him on one of the deck couches, hand on top of his, but Eddie couldn’t even focus on the conversation at hand, nonetheless the constantly uncomfortable feeling of the devil spawn next to him touching him. No, he was too focused on the way the light of the fire in the dusky evening lit up Buck’s face across the pit from him. Eddie was pretty sure the shine of the flame was making his eyes bluer than normal, and the flickering shadows made his already expressive face something Eddie couldn’t willingly look away from if he tried. And frankly, he was getting tired of trying.

The pinch of acrylics on the skin of the back of his hand—blue now—finally made Eddie snap out of his haze, jerking his head over to the woman next to him with a slight glare at the pain. She just dramatically mouthed the words “heart eyes” at him, making him roll his eyes and scooch minutely away from her, trying his best to lock back into whatever conversation was being had around the fire. 

That didn’t last long, however, as the sound of young teenage boy giggles interrupted the conversation, causing the adults to look back at where Chris, Denny, and Harry were running out through the back door of the house with mischievous grins, Mara and Jee-Yun just a few steps behind them. Harry was not-so-stealthily hiding something behind his back, and once all the kids were outside, they made their announcement.

“Guess what we found in the old Christmas decorations box downstairs!” Harry announced all excited, before revealing what he was hiding: a sprig of plastic mistletoe. Everyone else just laughed, while Eddie felt Taylor’s hand jerk off of his and himself get a little pale. The night had been going…well, maybe fine at best, but this just took it on a turn for the worst. He watched in mild horror as the kids started making their way around to each of their parents, holding the mistletoe above them and chanting “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” at the top of their lungs.

It was like everything was going in slow motion as Eddie watched Bobby dip Athena into a dramatic kiss that had everyone whooping, Chim pick up Maddie and give her a sweet, quick one that had everyone awe-ing, and Hen and Karen giving each other the loudest smooch to make the kids laugh with shouted “ewww’s”. 

Like he was last up in the firing squad, Eddie watched as Christopher crutched over to him and Taylor with a shit-eating grin on his face, dangling the mistletoe at them. Eddie was starting to really regret letting his son in on the “prank” they were playing on Buck because it was starting to wildly blow up in his face. The “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” chants started up again, this time from everybody but Buck, and Eddie was pretty sure Hen was the loudest of them all. 

He stared over at Taylor, wide eyed, and she didn’t look all too pleased at the situation either. Still sitting an awkward foot away from each other on the couch, they began to slowly inch their faces toward each other. Eddie’s mind was going a mile a minute, all but begging God to strike him down at this very moment; he’d had to had committed enough sins in his life for this to be a viable option at this point. If there was a hell, this would be exactly it. This whole thing had gone way too far, and as far as he could tell, it wasn’t even working. So why did any of this matter anymore? His brain was still screaming at him faster than he could keep up with, but one thought stuck out clear as day.

Fuck it.

Eddie had squeezed his eyes shut at one point during all of this, but when his lips were just inches away from Taylor’s and the chanting finally stopped, he froze, eyes popping open. Like some sort of divine intervention, Taylor did the exact same thing, the two of them blurting out way too loudly:

“I’m gay.”

They made wide eyes at each other, realizing what they—but mostly Eddie—had just done, and immediately pulled away from each other. Everyone was staring at them; you could hear a pin drop in the backyard. Eddie couldn’t even bring himself to look at anyone, especially Buck, before hurrying out of there and into the empty kitchen. He braced his hands on the island, taking a deep breath and hanging his head down, trying to ground himself. As in, holy shit, he really just did that. Just a month ago, he could barely even bring himself to say the word, much less let anyone but three people know. Not to mention that one of those was his therapist and the other two were purely by accident. 

Eddie distantly heard footsteps enter the kitchen before softly closing the door, assumedly for privacy. He didn’t even have to look up to know who it was. 

“Eddie? You okay?”

His voice was soft, concerned. God, Eddie didn’t deserve him. How could he be so caring when Eddie just all but admitted to screwing with him with this the entire time? He wiped a hand over his face, before turning around to face Buck.

“God, Buck, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, this entire thing was so stupid, I just let her talk me into it. It was a dumb fucking idea, I just wanted to make you—”

“No, that’s not what I asked,” Buck cut him off, looking at him with those intensely caring eyes that made Eddie want to kiss him silly. How could he not fall in love with him when he looked at him like that? When Eddie didn’t answer for a beat, Buck continued. 

“Is it true? You’re gay, not with Taylor?”

Eddie couldn’t find his voice, so he just nodded. Buck nodded back, slowly, taking a step towards him. 

“And you just wanted to make me what?”

Eddie looked at him, guilt washed over with confusion. “What?”

“Just now, before I cut you off. You said you wanted to make me…” Buck trailed off in question, and Eddie cursed himself for the rambling he must’ve picked up from the man in front of him. 

“Jealous,” he muttered, barely loud enough to fill the room. 

“Jealous?”

Eddie nodded. Buck had gotten closer to him, just a few feet in between where he stood and Eddie’s back was against the island. Buck was chewing on his bottom lip, focused on something in his head. Eddie opened his mouth to fill the silence and apologize again, but before he got the chance, Buck filled the space between them with a quick stride and pulled Eddie into the most soul-shattering kiss he’d ever experienced in his life, ruining the thought of kissing anyone else for the rest of his life.

Eddie melted into the action, tilting his head up to make up for the two inches Buck had on him in height and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, trying to pull him even closer like that was even possible. Buck seemed to have the same idea, his arms wrapped perfectly around Eddie’s waist, their bodies pressed together from head to toe, lips moving in perfect sync. 

It was breathtaking, it was fireworks and explosions and more, it was everything Eddie could’ve possibly asked for and simultaneously better than anything he could’ve ever imagined. That is, until he remembered.

Eddie pulled his head back with a jolt, chest heaving, trapped between Buck’s massive body and the kitchen island. Despite the guilt washing over him, he couldn’t seem to remove his arms from around Buck’s shoulders. “Wait, wait. Tommy?” he asked, breathless.

Buck shook his head quickly, also panting slightly, lips red and slick from the contact. “Broke up with him two weeks ago. Seeing you and Taylor that day at the firehouse…it made me realize a lot of things. Couldn’t stand seeing you with her like that,” he breathed out a mile a minute. 

Eddie couldn’t help himself but to kiss him again, this time much quicker, before pulling away again and tilting his head back with a shocked laugh. “Oh my god, the stupidest idea in the world and it actually worked. I genuinely can’t believe it. I’m never letting her take credit for this,” he breathed, unable to remove the giddy smile from his face as he looked back at Buck, also grinning like a madman. 

“You’re such a dick, Diaz. I’ve been losing my mind for the past two weeks. I’m pretty sure Maddie was going to rip my head off with how much I’ve been ranting about it,” Buck teased, but he was laughing right along with Eddie. 

“God, we’re gonna get so much shit for this, aren’t we?” Eddie sighed, staring at him fondly. Buck just shrugged, removing one of his hands from Eddie’s waist to run it through his hair instead. 

“Eh, who cares. We got the last laugh, anyway,” he lamented with a smile, before pulling Eddie into a softer, sweeter kiss. Eddie positively melted into it, squeezing Buck’s shoulders, and doing his best for his smile not to break it. As neither of them pulled away, though, the sweetness didn’t last long, quickly steering dirtier as Buck swiped his tongue across Eddie’s bottom lip, pressing him firmer against the kitchen island as Eddie greedily let his tongue into his mouth, running his fingers through Buck’s curls and tugging slightly, eliciting a soft groan from him that had Eddie all but vibrating against him.

Before they could get any further in their defiling of Bobby and Athena’s brand-new kitchen, however, the door swung open and the two of them jumped apart startled at the intrusion, once again breathing heavily with swollen lips. Taylor just stared at them from the doorway, before busting out laughing.

“Holy shit, I didn’t expect it to actually work,” she laughed, fake wiping a tear from her eye while Eddie just glared at her. At least he didn’t have to pretend to like her anymore, a close second for the best thing to happen that night. 

“It was your idea! The hell do you mean you didn’t expect it to work?”

She just shrugged, her laughter finally subsiding and replaced with her regular smirk. “Like I said, I love the drama. Anyway, I’ve got a date. No reason for me to be here anymore. Go save your friends, they're losing their minds out there. See you later, lovebirds,” she stated, giving them a two-finger wave before heading out the door. 

Eddie looked back at Buck, who looked back at him, before the two of them just started laughing again at the absurdity of the entire situation. Eddie walked back up to him, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him into a swift kiss, barely pulling back to whisper “I love you, Buck,” against his lips. Buck’s mouth split into a grin, giving Eddie three quick pecks before whispering “I love you too, Eddie.”

Hand in hand, they made their way back out to the backyard, unable to hide their grins as they braced themselves for the monumental amount of shit they were about to get from their friends. They’d barely made it through the glass doors before Hen shouted “I called it, you assholes! Run me my money!” and laughter filled the backyard once more.