Chapter Text
"Wait! Stop this violence," the shadow pleaded. "Why are you doing this to me?"
She was a Kushinada-Hime, one hit from death and dignified even when pleading for her life. Joker held out his hand and spoke with gentle confidence. "Lend me your power."
"What audacity, to think you could control a goddess."
"Can you blame me for longing to have such beauty and wisdom as my mask?"
Crow scoffed. "Really, Joker? It's a holdup, not Shakespeare," he muttered, rolling his eyes. Queen sighed in a rare show of agreement but Akira ignored them both. So what if he was a little flowery with the praise? He was having fun!
Kushinada Hime apparently appreciated it more than his teammates did. Her haughty look melted into a smile. "For your flattery alone I would join you, but my strength will overwhelm you now. Find me again when you're stronger. Until then, take this boon."
He expected her to throw an item, but instead she waved her hand and golden dust rose from nowhere to swirl around him. He sneezed.
"What—achoo! What did you—achoo!"
She didn't explain, only faded away as his eyes watered and his nose ran. The last he saw of her was that smile, shining through the golden haze.
"Guys, I'm fine. Really."
"You were hit with an unknown attack. You're not going back into battle until we know what it did," Queen insisted.
Joker sniffled demonstratively and she handed him another tissue.
"I'm pretty sure she just threw pollen in my face," he told her, blowing his nose again. The safe room table was already littered with tissues and used ailment cures. So far, nothing had made a dent in his allergy attack.
"Why disable you when she was already fleeing?"
"Ain't a boon like a favor?" Ryuji asked. "Why would a hot chick do you a favor by making you sneeze?"
Crow, who had been watching from the edge of the group as usual, cut him off. "That 'hot chick' is the mass cognition of a powerful goddess," he said scornfully. "We have no notion what such a being would consider a blessing. We should leave instead of sitting around until Joker succumbs to death by hayfever."
"You're all overreacting. Oracle, there's nothing bad showing up on my scans, right?"
She shook her head but still looked worried. "I can't see anything, but that kinda scares me more."
Panther jumped up and clapped her hands together. "All right, let's go. We made a lot of progress today anyway, let's get some cake to celebrate!"
"Hey, who's the leader here?"
"You've been overruled. Crow, if he resists, carry him out!"
She bounded out the door and the others straggled along in her wake. Joker looked at Crow and leaned back in his chair.
"Oh no, I feel some resistance coming on."
"I've heard a sharp point applied to the hindquarters can help," Crow replied, drawing his sword. "Let's try it out."
A moment later, Joker was up and out, scrambling through the door and bypassing the other Phantom Thieves. Crow followed at a much more sedate pace.
"What did you say to him?" Queen asked.
Crow smirked.
"It was more the way I said it."