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Atlantis knows everyone who steps on her old floors. She knows their name, knows their height, weight, everything she needs to know to keep them safe. Allergies, disorders, anything that could cause a problem. She knows it all.
So she is aware of the dynamic of every human who graces her with their presence, when she awakens again.
She feels as their feet light her up, minds spreading and causing everything to come to life in a way she hasn’t felt in thousands of years.
She feels when a Sunburst enters the Astria Portia, and moves up her stairs. She knows his name as John Sheppard, classified omega, Marked. She feels when the smell of Rain enters and navigates to the holo room. She knows his name as Carson Beckett, classified Omega, Unmarked.
Her two beloveds, her Sunburst and her Rain.
She tracks them as they move across the city, tracks as her Sunburst leaves, and mourns the loss of the brightness she hasn’t seen in so many moons. The walls groan with her misery, and she focuses on her Rain, watches as he moves through the halls.
She feels joy, energy, as her Sunburst returns, with more, so many more , more than she’s had for so long.
She wishes she could tell them to not be afraid, wishes she was real, that she could hold them as they panic, tell them that she will Rise.
And Rise she does. She brings them to the surface, lets them see the sun she has missed oh-so much.
She watches them as the days progress, watches as her Rain helps people, tries to ensure more will be able to hear her, listen to her. It doesn’t take for so many, and she watches as they mourn that lack of connection. She mourns with them.
She finds one more omega amongst the ‘Expedition’, as they call themselves. Unable to speak to him, she finds it harder to focus on him. He smells of oil, and reminds her of the Gateships. She knows his name as Radek Zelenka, classified Omega, Unmarked.
She tracks them, and knows the dynamics of everyone in this city. Her ancients, her people , programmed her to understand the differences. She knows what the medication they take is, to keep themselves hidden, to suppress the heat that surges in their veins once every 3 months. She tracks them, ensures they will be safe, and whispers to her Rain when she sees that something would react poorly.
She does her best to keep her Sunburst, her Rain, and her Gateship safe.
She is aware that sometimes, it does not work so well.
1.
The first time she feels she has failed, is when the Genii attack her. The storm is incoming, she knows there is a plan laid out to protect her while she is weak. She follows them, nudges her Sunburst in the right direction as he runs to shut down his required grounding stations. Tries to nudge her Sunburst towards the infirmary, telling him that his medication is overdue.
She worries for him, worries for the heat that she knows can surge faster in stress. He doesn’t go. She pushes, but he won’t listen . She lets him run to the grounding stations, hoping that this will be solved quickly, so he will be safe.
She waves off her Rain as he leaves for the mainland, to collect some of the many that came to her that first day. She nudges after her Gateship, despite that he never feels it, as he leaves through the ‘gate’, to safety.
She wishes the one he follows around would leave with him, keep him safe from the strangers that he goes to see, but Rodney McKay must stay behind. He must see the plan through, must help her defend herself while she is unable.
She hopes this will work.
She cries when strange men come through her gate, and shoot down two of the marines she grew to care for. Two of her Beta’s, two who cared, who had families. She races to try and alert the others, to keep them safe, but she’s too weak, the storm is too strong, the lack of Potentia leaving her weakened and afraid still.
She wails as they hold her Alpha’s at gunpoint. Cries as her Sunburst speaks over the radio to the so-called Commander, tries to talk him down. Nothing works.
She tries to push the lights off when the man takes a knife to Rodney McKay, but they barely even shudder, not even enough to cause alarm. She feels so weak .
She tries to let her Sunburst know that he lies , tries to tell him that Elizabeth Weir still breathes. She thinks he heard her, but the rage, the anger, the torment rushes too loud in his ears. It blinds him.
She tracks him as he makes his way through the city, through her , and takes those who invade her out, one by one.
She watches as he lays traps, shoots enemies from the ceiling in hiding. She watches as he refuses to allow more strangers into her city, closes the shields and denies them entry through the Astria Portia.
She feels joy bubble inside of her core, as they splatter against her shields.
They should have never tried to touch her, or her Expedition.
She wails as the man makes another threat, warns them of death, tells her Sunburst to return what he stole from the generators. She cries as he, for once , does as he is told. To save his Alphas. His Friends.
Her walls rattle as he is caught.
She tries to shout her anger as the men threaten her Sunburst. As they leer over him and tell him how good he smells. She screams as she sees fear on her Sunbursts face for the first time.
She cries as the fear turns into acceptance. She has seen this in her databanks. She knows that this should never happen, not to a Marked, nor to an Unmarked. She knows what Consent is. She knows when it is violated.
She feels relief surge through her when her Rain, Teyla Emmagan and Aiden Ford step in before they can even touch her Sunburst. She watches as her Rain frets over him, sees as Aiden Ford learns of a dynamic that was once hidden from him.
She wishes her Sunburst felt secure enough to tell them before it was revealed by force.
Her Sunburst promises, swears to take a break, to hide, after they are safe. Her Rain lets him, and swears the Beta’s to secrecy. Tells them he will ‘make physicals all manner of hell’ if they speak a word about this without her Sunbursts approval.
She radiates with pride for her Rain.
The young redhead hurts her Rain, but Teyla Emmagan keeps him safe. She lets the redhead make a choice. Her Sunburst manages to keep her Alpha’s safe. Shoots Commander Kolya as he leaves through the gate.
Rodney McKay saves her.
She nudges her Sunburst and Rain, as they curl up together in the far corner of the ‘gate room’. She keeps them safe, wraps herself around them like a blanket, and tries to ignore the looks from the others across the hall.
Once the city is secure, she nudges them again, lets them scurry off to hide in her Sunbursts room before she releases the shield over the Astria Portia, and lets her people return. She can live with the extra tests that Rodney McKay runs her through to ensure her Astria Portia is not malfunctioning. She will not have her Sunburst’s secret revealed before he is ready.
She keeps him as safe as she can.
2.
The second time, she knows it's not her fault, but that doesn’t stop failure from running through her conduits.
Wraith Hives circle in orbit above her, and her scientists, her Gateship and his Rodney McKay have been taking stimulants for many days.
She had already nudged her Rain, told him that her Gateship could never take her stimulants and his medication together.
Her Gateship and her Rain spoke for so long, locked away in the office her Rain had made his own. They knew the risks.
Too many days have passed, and she knows her Gateship has not felt the surge of heat since he was a teenager.
She knows what to expect when it ends, when they are safe , and so she plans.
She lets her Gateship and Rodney McKay work until they can no longer work. She nudges her Rain, reminds him of the stimulants, and pushes him to bring them the ‘MREs’ that the Expedition brought with them.
She knows in her core that Rodney McKay is aware of the risk her Gateship is taking. Hears him mention it, asking if her Gateship is well, so many times, more than he ever has before he found out her Gateships secret.
She thanks that he growls at anyone except her Beta’s, her Sunburst and her Rain that get too close to either of them. She adds ‘protective’ under her file for him.
She feels more alive than she has in so many years, with the Potentia that the newcomers give her. She helps, does her best to assist Rodney McKay and her Gateship.
She screams when her Sunburst leaves her to fly away. Tries to shut down the gateship that he takes, but her Gateship keeps too close of an eye on it. He never lets it malfunction, even when her Sunburst takes it and drives it to the sky, to orbit, to the hive .
Her conduits shutter in relief when she hears his voice again.
She lets them win, helps them win, lets them push her to cloak the entire city, to hide in a way she was never programmed to do. Her ancients never needed her to cloak, to hide like this. She pushes away the idea that her Expedition are cowards.
She knows they are not. They are more inventive than her Ancients were.
When the fighting ends, and Rodney McKay and her Gateship collapse in relief, she enacts her plan. She waits until they are separated, waits until she catches her Gateship alone in a room, and shuts the doors.
Locks them tight, and refuses to allow him to exit, even when he pries open the panel and moves around her crystals.
She wishes he could understand her, wishes she could tell him it’s for his own good, as he rests his head on her cold walls and tries to breathe through the heat surging up as the stimulants fade.
She ignores him as Rodney McKay bangs on her doors, shouts at him to release her Gateship. She must keep him safe , while so many strangers roam her halls. She doesn’t know these people as she knows her Expedition. The new Alpha’s are strong, armed, and unaware of the situation her Gateship faces.
She will not allow her Gateship to be harmed as her Sunburst nearly was.
She takes pause, and listens as her Rain bargains with her. As her Rain asks her to let ‘just me, please’ into the room. She listens, opens the door, slams it shut the second he is inside as Rodney McKay tries to dart into the room behind him. Doesn’t listen as Rodney McKay shouts curses at her.
She watches as her Rain approaches her Gateship, tired and overheated in a way he has not been since so long ago. She listens as they talk, lets them come up with a new plan. Listens as her Rain bargains with her again.
She lets them out, so long as the halls remain clear. She lets them navigate to the room her Gateship has claimed. She allows them entrance, and closes the door, locks it and coos at her Gateship, tries to make him feel less alone when her Rain is called away, unable to stay as people suffer in his infirmary.
She stays, and tries to blanket him, but he never feels it. Can’t feel it, for he is one of the many who were unable to accept the connection with her. She listens.
She listens as he pleads, begs her to let in His Rodney McKay. The one who sits by his door as he suffers with the heat. The one who sleeps against the wall, despite how painful she knows it must be for him.
She decides that Rodney McKay is allowed in. She opens the door on him, and watches as he falls inside the room, and scrambles across to hold her Gateship in his arms, run hands across her Gateships back as he trembles.
He never does anything more, respects what her Gateship lays down as boundaries.
She decides that Rodney McKay feels like the lanterns she keeps in storage. Bright, and there in times of need.
Within months, her Gateship becomes Marked. She notes it down in his file.
3.
After the attack, she finds a new omega, picks him out amongst the strangers sent to her. She mourns the loss of Aiden Ford, and knows he takes the role that Aiden Ford once held. Evan Lorne smells of Paint, classified Omega, Unmarked.
He does not stay Unmarked long, as she watches them return home with a new Alpha. Specialist Ronon Dex, a ‘runner’ for the wraith. A victim. She knows he will never feel her, but she knows he cares deeply for her Paint. They bond fast, and Mark quicker.
She catches her Paint running a hand over the mark, sometimes. She thinks it makes him happy.
Her Paint and his team go missing. Her Sunburst tries to tell her that he is dead, but she refuses to believe him. She feels vindicated when her Rain tells them that the body they returned is not her Paint, nor his team.
She watches as her Rain realizes, as the days go by, how much medication is being missed.
She screams when her Sunburst and Ronon Dex return with her Paint and his team. Her Paint is cradled in the arms of His Ronon Dex. She watches as he runs with her Paint, takes him to the infirmary, and demands an isolated room from her Rain.
Her Rain would never refuse that of him.
Later, she learns what the Genii did to her Paint. She shuts down an entire part of the city in her agony.
She swears to never allow Genii on her floors again.
4.
They come anyway. Invited, for once.
The fourth time, she howls that she never pushed her Sunburst to shoot the stranger, the Commander Kolya, in the head.
She wails, and feels regret for a Wraith for the first time in her very long life.
She knows she will take much pleasure when Koyla is killed.
5.
She mourns her Rain when he passes, being so brave . She cries as the explosion takes him, shuts down so many lights and systems in her grief as she feels him pass.
She mourns him with her Expedition, as they hold a funeral for him. She likes the music they play for him, and tries to mimic it. It does not go as smoothly as she wishes.
She watches her Paint, her Sunburst and her Gateship as they mourn her Rain with their friends, their Beta’s and Alpha’s. Ronon Dex speaks of her Rain and how he rescued him from the device the wraith invaded him with.
Teyla Emmagan speaks of smiles for all, inside the infirmary and out.
Elizabeth Weir holds her drink to the sky, and tells the world how good of a Doctor he was. More importantly, how good of a friend he was.
Quietly, her Sunburst, her Paint, and her Gateship tell of the times that he helped them in their times of need. The care he provided for them.
There is no regret that they were never able to provide it in turn, but she knows if it was needed, they would, in a heartbeat.
She shouts for Joy when they return, 2 years later, with her Rain. She knows he is not the same before they do, but he feels as he did before, just...different.
She sits with him while they keep him in an isolated room, and watches as he looks up to see if anyone is there, watching him by the window.
When he knows he’s alone, he talks to her.
Tells her what Michael did to him.
What Michael forced upon him.
He has not had his medication in the 2 years he knows he has been with Michael.
She mourns for what was forced upon him.
He tells her he never wanted it, never wanted any of it. Not just from Michael, from anyone. He tells her he never, ever , wanted this.
She keeps the doors locked. Refuses entry to the Alpha’s and Beta’s who try to get in again. Shocks Rodney McKay when he tries to force the door open with her panel’s crystals. Turns off the lights on Ronon Dex when he tries to shove the doors open. Refuses to listen when Jennifer Keller tries to convince him to let her in, that he needs medical attention. Her Rain needs aid, but not medical.
She refuses to listen. Until she hears her Gateship asking her, in his small, quiet voice, if maybe they can help. If her Sunburst, her Paint and her Gateship can help her Rain. Can sit with him, as he has for them so many times before. If that's what her Rain needs.
She knows her Gateship sees a similarity in how she protected him, during his heat surge.
It’s not the same, her Rain is not suffering as her Gateship was. As her Sunburst and her Paint were, when they were pushed and shoved beyond their comforts without their medication.
But it has happened to her Rain. For 2 very long years, every 3 months, hurting and in pain and alone , wishing for a rescue that would not come for so long. Would never have come, had Teyla Emmagan not been taken.
She tries not to think about how she feels about that. Refuses to let herself wonder if it is worth Teyla Emmagan’s suffering, to save her Rain. It is cruel.
She refuses to be Cruel to her Expedition.
When her Gateship approaches the door with an old blanket, something he keeps buried deep within his nest, she unlocks the door. Lets him in.
Sees as her Rain lets himself be pulled into a corner, covered in the blanket, huddled together with her Gateship.
Listens to him lean in and cry .
She lets her Sunburst in, as he approaches with worn t-shirts. Shirts that smell of him, of their family, of their Expedition.
She watches as he and her Gateship start to build her Rain a nest.
She lets in her Paint as he brings them sweaters, more blankets, and some pillows. Her Paint never does anything in halves.
She watches as he hugs her Rain so tightly, while her Sunburst and her Gateship build him the home he had been missing for so long.
She watches as her Paint tells him stories. Brings a smile to her Rain’s face for the first time in days.
She lets them come and go as they please, but always ensures someone stays with her Rain. She looks at him and knows , knows the fear of being alone again. Knows that it will break him, to be left alone. Abandoned.
The heat never comes. Days later, she lets him go. Jennifer Keller tries to save him.
He goes into Stasis, after they fail to rescue Teyla Emmagan.
She keeps the power on around him. Never lets it fail. She will not lose her Rain again. She refuses.
--
Atlantis is protective. She knows she is, she was built to keep safe, to be shelter. To protect .
She keeps a long list of her people. But her four have the longest of her files.
She does her best to keep them safe.
It’s not always enough.
But she tries.
She likes to think they know that she tries. That she cares. She has never been able to confirm.
But Atlantis likes to think so.