Chapter Text
Walking away from Will and his family was one of the most difficult things she’d ever done, but she knew she’d done the right thing.
She hadn’t gotten a moment’s rest since Will told her of the message he sent his family. Listening to him talk about his impending escape sent El into a complete panic. Will, leave the lab? And leave her behind with it? The mere thought was unbearable. Without her knowledge or permission, she’d become dependent on Will. Not just for company, but for her sense of self, too. Whenever she found herself doubting her worth Will was there with a kind word and a listening ear. Always ready to boost her spirits or sit with her in her misery. But hearing him talk about escape, it made her question whether the feeling was reciprocated.
She didn’t know what else to do. So she told Papa everything.
After that, each hour seemed to last a year. She steered clear of the void, certain that one look on her guilty face would tell Will everything. She got a front row seat of what life without Will might be like, and she didn’t like it.
Papa was upset with her, but once he realized the unique opportunity presented to them, he quickly forgave her. He even gave her a job: let Will’s family come inside, eliminate their chance of escape, protect Papa. And if absolutely necessary, dispose of his family. She was willing to do it all; she was willing to do just about anything if it meant she and Will and Papa could stay together.
Everything played out just as Papa anticipated. His family snuck inside, shut down the cameras, and began their search. Papa was beside himself with glee.
‘ He will come for you, Eleven.’ He’d assured her. ‘He will try to convince you to leave as well. But we must not let that happen. Both of you are staying right here.’
She’d been comforted by his words, strangely enough.
‘And he won’t get hurt,’ El said, reminding Papa of his promise.
‘Of course not,’ Papa said absently. ‘We’re a family. Family does what it takes to stay together.’
El tried to convince herself she’d done the right thing. If Will came for her, as Papa predicted he would, that meant he must love her, right? Enough to stay here and allow this to become his real family? It all seemed so perfect. So easy.
Until…
Until Will collapsed in front of her at Papa’s hand.
Until he was tortured in front of her.
Until she watched him realize her betrayal.
She’d never felt more lost. Her best friend—her only friend, dying at Papa’s hand. She knew she had to choose, but who? How was she supposed to make that kind of decision? How could she tell who loved her for real, and who was lying? Or was she being played by both?
She’d thought about her relationship with Papa. How he’d raised her. He’d told her again and again that he loved her, and that she was special and valuable and talented. He pushed her to reach her full potential. With every success, the pride in his eyes grew. What was that if not love?
It was different with Will. They’d talked and laughed together, but he’d also hurt her. He told her things she didn’t want to hear. Things that stung and shook up her little world and made her question the intentions of everyone around her. Hurting someone like that wasn’t love, was it?
But then, seeing Papa with that remote, torturing her best friend…she started to wonder if she even knew the meaning of the word.
Will had come for her. He had the chance to escape, and he risked it so he could come for her. Why would he have done that if he didn’t really care about her?
He doesn’t love you, Will’s voice echoed in her ears.
For the first time, she’d believed it.
And yet…even after she made her choice, she didn’t blame Papa for how things turned out. After all, it was Eleven herself who’d fallen for his tricks. It was Eleven who betrayed Will. It was Eleven who opened the gate in the first place. Papa was bad, but he wasn’t the real villain here.
That was why she was here, facing down this beast alone. She didn’t deserve anyone’s help. It was only fitting; she was the one who opened the gate in the first place, it seemed only right that she be the one to fix it, or die trying.
From the moment she stepped up to face the monster she’d created, doubt started to creep in. The gate was no simple gap in the wall. It was sentient. It was alive and powerful, and it was fighting her every step of the way.
She’d grown in her powers exponentially since she’d opened the gate three years ago. Papa…Dr. Brenner pushed her hard, and she relished the challenge. She strived to not only meet but surpass his expectations, thinking that if she only grew a little more, if she only stretched a little further, then finally he’d be proud of her. Finally, he would love her. But no. With every goal she surpassed, he simply set another, higher one, and El was given another finish line to cross. In retrospect, she understood that nothing would ever be enough for him, but when she had something to strive for, there were no lengths to which she would not go to meet it.
She didn’t have that anymore. It wasn’t a matter of what she’d get if she won, it was a matter of what would happen if she lost.
This is how Will felt, she realized, the thought jarring her so bad she nearly dropped her mental guard. All this time…he knew Dr. Brenner would never love him. All he had to keep him going was the knowledge that he and his family would die if he failed.
Her lip trembled. How had he done it? She wouldn’t have thought motivation mattered much when it came to reaching a goal, but now she wondered. If she was doing this task for different reasons, would she be stronger for it? If she was doing it out of hope for success rather than the fear of failure, would the gate be closed by now?
So many questions would take time to contemplate; time she simply did not have. In her distraction, the gate—or rather, the entity within—had redoubled its attack. A boom of thunder shouted, and crimson lightning answered. That was the only warning before the entity decided to make itself known.
It was unlike anything she’d ever seen. The creatures—the Demogorgons, as Will’s friends called them—always seemed like the most terrifying thing imaginable. But they had nothing on the pure power this thing possessed. It looked like smoke, only more solid. Condensing to form a snake-like tendril, it reached out towards Eleven, identifying the threat and striving to wipe it out.
El matched the new challenge, gritting her teeth. Blood seeped into her mouth, and she felt it trickling from her ears, too. Instinct told her to stop, but she didn’t let herself. Too much was at stake. She could not— would not fail. If not for her own sake than for Will’s.
Her breathing became labored. The gate stitched itself together, but not nearly fast enough. It was difficult to measure her progress, she could focus only on how far she had to go. With every inch she closed, she grew twice as weary, and the thing in the gate grew twice as strong. She wondered what its motivation was, whether it was fighting to succeed or not to fail.
She was so dizzy. Part of her just wanted to give up. Who cared if this creature defeated her? What did she have to live for anyway? Will surely hated her, his friends and family didn’t even know her, she’d just lost her home and the only family she’d ever had…or thought she had…
The gap started to reopen. The tendril pressed the advantage, forcing itself closer and closer and shrinking the space between them little by little.
What will happen when it reaches me? She wondered, slightly detached. She was more fascinated by the idea than scared. If I just let go…will it kill me immediately? Pull me into the Upside Down, perhaps?
It drew closer still.
Will could finish the job, she thought with relative confidence. It’s possible I’ve weakened it enough that Will could finish it off and still survive.
It was almost on her now. If she stepped forward a few feet, she could touch it.
Maybe… She contemplated, arms wavering. Maybe…
And then the tendril started moving back.
She nearly fell over with shock . Though she was nearly out of strength, the thing was inching backward steadily as if something else was pushing it. Or some one.
She whipped her head to the side, and sure enough, there he was. Standing just off to the side, face screwed up in concentration.
“Will,” she said in wonder. Her voice was quiet and shaky and she wasn’t even sure he’d heard.
“I’ll push it back,” he said, entirely focused on the task at hand. “Can you close the gate?”
She was having trouble processing all this. He was…he was here. With her. But why?
“But…” She said sluggishly. “Your family?”
Finally, he looked at her. It lasted barely a second, but she thought she saw a smile dash across his lips. “You’re my family too, El.”
She stared at him—at this beautiful boy who’d saved her in every possible way. After everything…how could he possibly feel anything for her except hatred?
She vowed to herself right then and there that she would spend the rest of her life—however short that life may be—trying to even the score. She knew there was nothing she could do, really, that would fully make up for what she did. But she could try.